The Fifty State Roadtrip
by aspiringAnimator
Summary: Fifty teenagers from fifty different states, thrown into five different buses, are each tasked with being the one to win a million dollars. Some will find romance. Others, friendship. Over the course of six long months, two are eliminated a week as Chris takes the show across the country and back again. Who will come out on top? Find out in The Fifty State Roadtrip. Completed.
1. Table of Contents

_The Fifty State Roadtrip_

**TABLE OF CONTENTS**

**ACT 1 - July 6th to August 20th**

Episode 1 - Pulchritudinous  
>Episode 2 - Frostbite<br>Episode 3 - Hot, Steamy Noises  
>Episode 4 - Revolution<br>Episode 5 - A Minor Setback  
>Episode 6 - Risk<br>Episode 7 - Gotta Go Fast  
>Episode 8 - How to Fabulous<br>Episode 9 - The Not Very Civil War  
>Episode 10 - Deserted in the Desert<br>Episode 11 - I'm on a Boat  
>Episode 12 - All of the Plots<br>Episode 13 - Fugitives  
>Episode 14 - The Show Must Go On<p>

**INTERMISSION 1 - August 24th**

Episode 15 - Aftermath 1

**ACT 2 - August 27th to October 12th**

Episode 16 - The United States of Blaineley  
>Episode 17 - Caving In<br>Episode 18 - Driver Re-Education  
>Episode 19 - Just Plane Terrible<br>Episode 20 - The Douche is Back  
>Episode 21 - The Last Dance<br>Episode 22 - Hypnophobia  
>Episode 23 - The September Debates<br>Episode 24 - Art from the Heart  
>Episode 25 - 2RUDE4U<br>Episode 26 - The SAT  
>Episode 27 - Gay<br>Episode 28 - The Second Civil War  
>Episode 29 - Five Teams Will Become Two<p>

**INTERMISSION 2 - October 15th**

Episode 30 - Aftermath 2

**ACT 3 - October 19th to November 16th**

Episode 31 - Battle of the Sexes  
>Episode 32 - Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler<br>Episode 33 - Yet Another Zombie Movie  
>Episode 34 - Westward Ho<br>Episode 35 - Halloween  
>Episode 36 - Chef's Boot Camp<br>Episode 37 - Autumnal Ultimatum  
>Episode 38 - Back to School<br>Episode 39 - A Bright Early Mourning

**INTERMISSION 3 - November 19th**

Episode 40 - Aftermath 3

**ACT 4 - November 23rd to December 21st**

Episode 41 - The Final Merge  
>Episode 42 - Thanksgiving<br>Episode 43 - The Great Heist of 2014  
>Episode 44 - Deadlock<br>Episode 45 - Truth or Dare  
>Episode 46 - Severnaya Sestra<br>Episode 47 - Hiemal Penultimatum  
>Episode 48 - Aftermath 4<br>Episode 49 - Finale

**EPILOGUES - December 25th to January 1st**

Episode 50 - Christmas  
>Episode 51 - New Year's Eve<br>Episode 52 - The Fifty State Roadtrip


	2. Pulchritudinous

**BEGINNING OF ACT 1**

**EPISODE 1: PULCHRITUDINOUS**

_"What's a... fifteen letter word for beautiful?" - Maine_

**Sunday, July 6th, 2014. Washington, DC. 10:01 AM.**

"Alright! Listen up, scrubs!"

Chris McLean stood in the hot summer sun in front of the Washington Monument. Before him, five buses awaited, and in front of that, stood exactly fifty teenagers.

"Each of you represents your home state! You may not tell anyone your name! You have to go by the state that you're from. Capiche?"

A tall guy with black hair nervously looked around. He was sweating profusely. "So... I would go by, what, Michigan?"

Chris grinned, and looked satisfied. "Correct-a-mundo. Fifty states. Twice a week. Twenty-five weeks."

Nobody said anything. Chris glanced around, beady eyes growing suspicious. "...okay. So... that's fine with everyone? By now usually someone blurts out that it isn't fair. Well, alright. Due to our size, we'll be splitting up into teams. Five teams, to be exact, all coordinated by where your state is! When I call your name, go stand in a group with the rest of your team. Alabama!"

A tall, burly, red haired guy with lots of freckles walked over and stood away from the other contestants. Everyone looked apprehensive. "Arkansas!" Chris continued. A shy looking black kid went to stand over with Alabama. "Florida!"

A short, African American girl went to stand over with the other two guys. She had pigtails. "Georgia!" Chris continued, and at that, a brown haired girl with a sporty red t-shirt went to go stand. "Louisiana!"

A black girl with long hair and a t-shirt sporting the name "New Orleans Saints" walked over to stand with her new teammates. "Mississippi!" Chris called, and a girl with long blonde hair and tanned skin walked over to the other kids. "Let's see... Missouri!"

Another African American girl went to stand over with her six other new teammates. She had long sleeves on, but short, stylish hair. Nobody glanced at each other as Chris continued to call out the names. "South Carolina!"

An excited-looking blonde-haired girl with ponytails went to go stand over with her new teammates. She waved over at a brown-haired girl with a similar face, who waved back, although with less enthusiasm. Chris eyed the two for a moment suspiciously, and then called, "Tennessee!", prompting a brown-haired girl with a pink shirt and overalls to join the team. One last name on the list, and "Texas!" was the last to join that team. A tall, brown haired guy with a build like a linebacker joined them. Chris closed his notepad, and began, "You ten will make up the-"

"Hey!" a girl suddenly yelled from the team. "Yes, South Carolina, what is it?" Chris asked, with his head in his hands already. The blonde-haired girl pointed at the crowd of forty other kids, and cried, "You forgot North Carolina. She's my sister."

Chris glanced over at the brown-haired girl wearing a pink shirt and a skeptical face. "Uh... yeah, sorry about that, but, uh... you know, you _are_ in the southern team for a reason. We... can't exactly put a girl from the state of _North_ Carolina in the southern team."

Before South Carolina had a chance to argue, Chris began yelling again. "Okay! You ten are all from the south. I need you guys to pick a name that suits your states. Go."

The ten all just stood there awkwardly. It was about as mentally engaging as you would expect from putting ten random teenagers together in one spot without any prior stimulation. "Uh..." Texas began slowly. "How about Team Touchdown?"

It didn't seem like there were any problems with this name to the rest of the team, as nods were shared around. A few kids from the rest of the states snorted. "Okay... Team... Touchdown it is," Chris muttered, writing down the name in his notepad. "Okay. You guys go over there and stand in the shade under the monument or something. Alright, next team. When I call your name, go stand... I dunno, away from everyone else. Connecticut!"

A scrawny, brown haired kid with glasses went to stand away from the crowd. With a nod of his head, Chris then shouted, "Delaware!", which prompted an intelligent-looking mixed girl with long hair to stand with Connecticut. "Okay... this is gonna take too long if I yell for each of you individually, and we've only got thirty minutes of air-time," Chris slowly began as he checked his watch. "Uh... alright, let's just call the rest out in groups of three or something. Maine, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire!"

Maine, a short girl with pigtails and a light green shirt, went to stand with the others. Massachusetts followed, an average-looking kid with hair the color of sand and a purple sweater vest. Glasses donned his face. Lastly, New Hampshire joined them, a tall girl with long black hair. Chris nodded satisfactorily, and then yelled, "New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania!"

New Jersey wore sunglasses and had a white tank top on underneath a heavy leather jacket. "S'up, Chris?" he cried as he walked forward, extending a hand. Chris backed away slightly, and muttered, "Keep walking."

New York was a tall young man, wearing a dark brown sweater, and even darker brown hair. He eyed his teammates cautiously, as Pennsylvania followed him. She wore braces, partially obscured by her incredibly bushy brown hair. "Last two..." Chris said, looking down the list. "Rhode Island, and Vermont."

A cute-looking girl with red hair bounced forward, with a red t-shirt that read, "Rhode Island", along with a picture of her state. Vermont followed her, who was a pretty average-looking African American young man, sporting a yellow t-shirt. "And, if I'm not mistaken, that's ten people, right?" Chris asked. Nobody responded. "Okay... this is going to be a long year," he sighed. "Figure out a name for your team, so we can get this moving along."

The team shifted around slightly, wary of each other. "Um..." New York began. "Well, think of a good trait. Of, like, America, that could represent all of us."

Massachusetts thought for a moment. "I dunno. Team Freedom? Team Democracy?"

"I like Team Democracy!" Maine piped up, and it seemed agreed upon. "Okay! Team Democracy it is, for the north-easterners," Chris mumbled, writing in his pad. "Alright. You guys go over there. Don't, like, forget about what team you're in or anything. Next up... I'll do it by threes again. Alaska, Arizona, and California!"

Three girls all withdrew themselves from the shrinking crowd. Alaska was a tall, beautiful girl with long blonde hair. She was wearing a heavy white jacket, however. "It's burning up here," she sighed, tugging at the sleeves. "You sure?" Arizona asked her, a red-haired tan girl with a short t-shirt on. "Feels cool up here."

"Yeah, I don't think you could get a tan or anything like that up _here_," a blonde-haired girl wearing sunglasses stated as a matter-of-factly. "Like, this up _north."_

"Yeah, thanks for that, California," Chris said quickly. Under his breath, he added, "Just wait until you host the show three times up in Canada... alright! Next three. Hawaii, Idaho, and Montana."

A tanned guy with black hair walked up. He looked like a native pacific islander. Hawaii. With him, stood Idaho, a young-looking black guy with tall brown hair, and Montana, whose long brown hair seemed to be trying to hide her tiny face. "You guys go join the other three," Chris explained when they just stood there. "Alright. Four more, and then we're done with this team. Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington!"

A girl with short red hair walked up. She must be Nevada. With her, stood three guys. New Mexico was a buff-looking, but friendly dude with a visor and sunglasses underneath short, cropped blonde hair. At his side was Oregon, a guy with sandy-colored hair and a short, stylish purple t-shirt. He looked withdrawn and shy, but seemed fit. "Hi," he muttered somewhat unnecessarily. And lastly was Washington. He had somewhat shaggy brown hair and glasses, but a face that seemed to analyze everything around him. He stood at Oregon's side. "You ten make up the Pacific team!" Chris announced. "Figure out a name that sounds good. I'll be right here."

"Yo, hey guys!" New Mexico suddenly yelled, extending a hand towards Idaho, who shook it cautiously. "M'name's... uh, 'New Mexico'. I was thinkin'... what if we had a name, like, Victory, or somethin'?"

"Uh, yeah, we've already had a team with that na-" Chris began, only to be cut off by praises of New Mexico's excellent idea. "Okay! Team Victory it is... again," Chris muttered, angrily scribbling in his notepad. "You ten, go stand over there. In the meantime... next team. When I call your name step forward yadda-yadda-yadda. Colorado, Iowa, and Kansas."

Three guys stepped forward. Colorado seemed like a strong, intelligent brown-haired guy. Iowa wore glasses, and was pretty thin. Kansas, a big black dude, wore overalls over a dark-green shirt. Chris nodded. "Let's get this show on the road. Minnesota and Nebraska, go join 'em."

Minnesota was a blonde-haired girl with a heavy jacket on, while Nebraska looked like he would rather be anywhere else right now. His black hair matched his dark grey t-shirt, which read in childish font, "Go get 'em, tiger!" A few kids smirked at it. Chris eyed the two new contestants carefully, and then shouted, "North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota!"

North Dakota and South Dakota walked closely together. While North Dakota's hair was long, black, and beautiful, there was something about her face that seemed malicious. South Dakota's hair was short, and she wore a more kind expression. "I assume you two are sisters?" Chris asked when they approached. He only got a stiff nod from North Dakota. Following in their wake was Oklahoma, a short-haired girl with braces, overalls, and an eager, yet off-putting smile. "Okay..." Chris muttered, flipping through the pages. "Last up are Utah and Wyoming. Come on out."

Two guys walked forward carefully towards their new teammates. "Jesus, they're not going to bite," Chris criticized. "They're your teammates, for crying out loud. You'll have to spend the better part of a year with them. Get cozy."

Wyoming said nothing. He was scrawny African-American dude, with an orange t-shirt. Utah glanced around nervously, and said nothing. He was wearing short little shorts. Chris sighed. "Okay. Terrific leadership already. Figure out a name, and we can-"

"Team Dakota," a voice suddenly rang out. A lone eyebrow crept up Chris's face. "Uh, sorry?"

North Dakota stepped forward. "You want us to have a name that shows off our good qualities, right?"

"Um. Yeah, but-"

"Then Team Dakota."

There was a brief silence, but nobody from the team seemed willing to argue. "Okay! Team Dakota it is, then," Chris decided with a smug grin. "Finally. Last team. Y'know, I think I regret splitting everyone up into five teams like this... when I call your name, go stand over there... Illinois, Indiana, and Kentucky."

Illinois was a tall, gangly black kid with round glasses that made him look like Harry Potter or something. Beside him, stood Indiana, a girl with dark red hair who didn't seem to care too much for all of this. She was attractive, though. Kentucky, however, stood awkwardly with the other two. He wore a light blue t-shirt, and shorts that were much too short for someone like him. "What's happenin', yo?" he asked Chris, who eyed him suspiciously.

There was a brief silence for about three full seconds.

"Okay! Next up is Maryland, Michigan, and... North Carolina."

Maryland, a young-looking black girl with her hair in a bun, stood with her teammates. Michigan did the same. He was the same guy who had spoken out earlier. North Carolina seemed slightly distraught at being separated by her sister, but obeyed. Chris nodded satisfactorily, and finally shouted, "Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin! God, I hate lists so much now."

Ohio seemed like a fairly average young dude, and stood with the others. Virginia was a large black girl, but possessed a face that seemed hardened with maturity and intelligence. West Virginia was the opposite, a red haired kid who just looked excited to be there. Wisconsin stood with them, an easy-going looking guy with a thin sweater on. "Hi!" West Virginia said quickly, extending a hand to Wisconsin, who shook it politely. "I'm West Virginia! And you... must be Virginia!"

He had immediately turned on the girl beside him, who stepped back instinctively. "Uh," she said slowly. "Do I know you?"

West Virginia shook his head quickly. "Oh, no! No. I looked you up online, though, right when I found out you were gonna be my partner! I didn't know you lived in Richmond! _HEH_! I've been there before!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_1_mp3**

"I'm really not into winning that much! I'm really not! Between you and me, I'm just in it for the girls. My mom told me you have to be friendly and persistent! That gets you the chicks! _HEH_! Don't you worry, I'm gettin' there!"

West Virginia

**10:45 AM.**  
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Virginia looked uncomfortable, and glanced over at Chris, who got the message. "Figure out a team name, kids!" Chris shouted. "I'm gonna focus on never looking at a list ever again in my life."

"What kind of name should we have?" Michigan asked, keen to not be left out of any conversation. Virginia thought for a moment, but was cut off by Kentucky shouting, "We could be Team Onion! Because of layers... and... and, it's like... it's like, we've got the outer layers, with, with Maryland, and West Virginia, and you got yer middle layers, with Virginia, and Indiana, and Michi-"

"What are you talking about?" Ohio asked bluntly. Kentucky stared at him. "What? Team Onion! Because, it's... it's symbolic. For layers."

"Okay, and what are the layers supposed to represent?" Virginia asked immediately.

"How attractive teammates are."

"Okay..." Michigan said, shaking his head slowly. "Yeah, we're not going to do that. At all. Any other ideas?"

"And why am I on the outer layer?!" West Virginia suddenly yelled.

"Uh... how about... Team... America?" Virginia quickly suggested. "So, you know, it seems like we're the _true_ team. Or somethin'. I dunno."

Ohio was nodding slowly. "That's... actually a pretty good idea. Okay. All in favor of Team America?"

Everyone except Kentucky raised their hands. "Finally," Chris mumbled, writing into his pad. "Team America it is, then."

He closed his notebook, and then stood to address the five teams. "Okay! These are your teammates! Each team gets their own bus. There are five bunk beds on that thing. In the meantime... we've got our first challenge to do."

Everyone stood silently in their respective teams, listening intently to Chris. "We're gonna do a relay race!" Chris announced. "It's a good first episode thing. So my producers tell me. Everyone get in an order that you like, and we can start. You need to run around the Washington Monument once, and pass the peg to the next person in line. First team to get through everyone wins. Alright?"

While some people looked terrified at the prospect of their team depending on them, others appeared confident. The camera crews got into place. Most of them looked like college interns. "Everyone ready?" Chris shouted, holding up a magnum towards the sky. "On a count of three, and then I fire a blank. One. Two. Three-"

The gun fired, and one person from each team took off. The most eager teammates, to be blunt. Texas from Team Touchdown, New Jersey from Team Democracy, New Mexico from Team Victory, Oklahoma from Team Dakota, and West Virginia from Team America. Instantly, West Virginia and Oklahoma fell behind the other three runners. "Come on!" Wisconsin yelled at West Virginia. "You've got this!"

Texas took the lead, sprinting at a lightning pace around the tall obelisk. Alabama stood ready to receive the peg, and took off. New Jersey, almost collapsing with exhaustion, handed off his peg to Delaware. "You've.. you've got this!" he shouted in a weak attempt at support.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_2_mp3**

"I think I did my part. I mean, me getting second is good enough. It's not like we lost. I mean... we didn't exactly get first. Or second. Or third... but it's not like we _lost_. Hey, I _did my part_."

New Jersey

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**10:56 AM.**

The teams were in a close tie, but Team Victory was in the lead as Washington passed the peg to Montana, nearly worn out. Team Dakota, however, was falling behind. "Come on! Hurry it _up_!" North Dakota screamed. South Dakota crossed her arms, and muttered, "He's not going fast enough."

Wyoming, from Team Dakota, was running as fast as possible around the monument, but not fast enough. Soon, he was overtaken by Ohio. When he arrived, he passed the peg to Minnesota, who took off. "What's your deal?" North Dakota yelled. "We were in third, and now we're dead last."

He didn't say anything, but was just doubled over, panting. North Dakota threw her arms up towards the sky, and cried, "Ugh. You'd better hope Minnesota can run."

It turns out, she could. She speedily passed Maryland _and_ Massachusetts, to Team Dakota's delight.

"Come on! _Run_!" New York cried, urging on Massachusetts, who, upon his arrival, skillfully tossed his peg to Connecticut. "We've got this..." New York said as though to himself. "We can do this. Only if Connecticut pulls us ahead... oh, come on..."

Connecticut was being overtaken by Oregon, who seemed to be trying his heart out there. A few moments later, and Connecticut passed on the peg to New York, the last member of their team to run. Team Touchdown had already finished, and once Oregon got through, Team Victory would be, too. New York took off, sprinting, as South Dakota gave the peg to North Dakota from Team Dakota. "It's all on you!" she yelled. They were in third place.

However, they were falling behind. North Dakota wasn't nearly as physically adept as her other teammates, as she was passed by North Carolina, Team America's final player. Behind her, New York was catching up. "No!" she screamed, as New York ran ahead, finally arriving at his team, putting them in fourth. "What?" Colorado from Team Dakota yelled. "We were in third! Come _on_!"

"Shut up!" North Dakota yelled, throwing the peg onto the ground. "Just shut up, right now. Ugh. We lost, didn't we?"

"Yep!" announced a triumphant Chris. "Dead last, actually. Team Touchdown! You got in first! Team Victory's second, Team America's third, and Team Democracy is fourth! Hope you like voting, Team Dakota, because someone's getting booted. Hah! I wonder how embarrassing it's gonna be to be kicked off the show first. Anyways! Into the buses, everyone! We'll do the voting at a rest stop or something."

**3:14 PM.**

"Okay..." North Dakota said to herself, pacing the rumbling bus as it headed towards a rest stop on the outskirts of DC. "Okay. You're with me, An... er, 'South Dakota'. Right? Remember, we're going to the top two, and we split the prize money."

Her sister nodded. North Dakota seemed satisfied. "Okay. Without me doing anything... chances are, they might vote for me. And then this team'll be doomed, and you'll be doomed, and then I don't get any money. We need to get people to support us. Who _is_ on this team, anyways?"

South Dakota glanced up at a chart on the wall of the vibrating bus. "Um... 'Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota-'"

"Good, Minnesota," North Dakota said, nodding. "She ran fast, she's good to keep. I'll talk to her. Who else?"

"'Nebraska, Oklahoma-'"

"Oklahoma's the nerdy girl, right? The one with the dumb overalls?"

"I think so."

"Good, we can take her. I'll bet she'd love an alliance or something. As for the guys... they don't look like they've got any bones. We shouldn't have to worry. Okay. Now we need a scapegoat to take all the votes. Who did poorly this round? Like, the worst out of everyone. And don't you dare say me."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_3_mp3**

"I know how people think. See, after today, whatever I messed up on is gonna be old news. Who cares what I did last week, when there's things happening right now? People are so stupid. They think present-tense. They forget what happened."

North Dakota

**7:00 PM.**

Ten teenagers stood around Chris in front of a gas station. "Okay!" he announced. "We're kind of... running on a tight budget, here, so I'm just gonna toss snacks to people who didn't get voted off. Kind of like the marshmallows. And the awards. Except we can't afford awards, and they're all sold out of marshmallows. I'll specifically tell you how many people voted for you, too. Kind of like a neat twist. I'm not sure yet. We're 'testing the waters', as my producer likes to put it. Anyways. Here goes. Colorado, you get some Cheetos. Nobody voted for you, brother."

Colorado caught the bag. "Iowa! Nobody voted for you, man. I've got some Oreo's right here."

"Kansas! You're good, dude. No votes. I think I've got some... a bag of chips. Right here, dude."

"Minnesota. Nice job out there. No votes. Here's a bag for you."

"Oklahoma! Here you go. No votes."

"South Dakota, you too. You get a bag. Nobody voted for you. You can get 'Los Pollos Tortilla Chips'."

"Utah! Here you go, man. Bag for you. No votes."

He eyed the three remaining contestants. North Dakota, Nebraska, and Wyoming. "The rest of you got at least one vote. Let's see if I can ramp up the 'drama' or whatever by standing still for a few moments and not saying anything. We'll add suspenseful music later or something."

...

"Nebraska. Just kidding with you, dude. I've got a Gatorade for you right here. You did get one vote, though."

It was just between North Dakota and Wyoming now. Wyoming hung his head in shame, while North Dakota just seemed annoyed at getting any votes at all.

A few more seconds passed as Chris held only one bag of Funyuns. "And... this bag goes to..."

...

"North Dakota! You got three votes. Here you go!"

Wyoming's shoulders drooped, as he stood up. Chris shrugged. "Sorry, dude. No bags left. You got like six votes, man. Your cab's waiting for you."

A yellow taxi sat beside the gas station. Chris turned around and clapped his hands together. "Alright!" he announced. "We're going on a roadtrip. Who's ready?"

Nobody in Team Dakota answered. North Dakota was busy glaring at everyone, trying to decipher who'd voted for her. "Okay, then..." Chris said, letting his arms drop. "Well, get on the bus. Since that was... Wyoming who left... we're now scheduled to be in Yellowstone National Park by Wednesday. We've got a long drive ahead of us."

**8:23 PM.**

Team Democracy's bus rumbled along. Massachusetts had already unpacked his bag, and was playing computer games on his laptop. Connecticut sat twiddling his thumbs as Virginia's countryside rushed past. Maine and Rhode Island were working together on a crossword puzzle. Every few seconds, Connecticut glanced over at Rhode Island. Massachusetts noticed this, and smirked. "Dude, you haven't got a chance," he muttered, not even looking up. Connecticut's glare flew over to Massachusetts. "What? I - no, I wasn't - what are you even talking about? I... shut up. Man, dude."

Massachusetts grinned, typing out something in his game. "Nah, don't worry, you can trust me."

"What's a... fifteen letter word for beautiful?" Maine suddenly asked the two guys. Everyone else was in their bunks. "I... uh..." Connecticut stammered. "Hmmm," Massachusetts wondered. "That's a hard one."

"The second letter's a U, and the last letter's an S..." Rhode Island added.

"Try... 'pulchritudinous' or something," Massachusetts suggested without missing a beat. Connecticut looked disgusted. "Ew, what does that mean?"

"It means beautiful, from what I know. My English teacher loved that word. Does that fit?"

For a few moments, Rhode Island was just counting out the letters with Maine. "That... that fits," she admitted, astounded. "I think that's it. That's a long word."

Connecticut seemed impressed by Massachusetts now.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_4_mp3**

"Okay. I'm not too good with girls. Like... I can't talk right. Not like I can with guys, you know? I can talk to a guy, they're my friend, but girls... I just can't concentrate. Damn. Massachusetts knows his stuff. How come he can talk like that? I need to get him to help me or something. And if we lose a challenge, I'll have someone to back me up in voting. Alright. I got this."

Connecticut

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming.


	3. Frostbite

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 2: FROSTBITE**

_"Like I said. I can think. I'm not smart." - Washington_

**Wednesday, July 9th, 2014. Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming. 7:10 AM.**

Five heavy charter buses lugged their way throughout the mountains of Wyoming. Forty-nine teenagers sat within them, all anxiously awaiting the next challenge after about three days of slow driving.

"I am so, so, so utterly bored," Alabama moaned in Team Touchdown's bus. Louisiana glanced over at him. "I bet we could'a been here like yesterday," she complained. "They wanna get here exactly on Wednesday just to stay on schedule or whatever."

Alabama tossed a baseball up in the air, and caught it. The buses were sizely monsters. In the front was the living areas. The middle housed the bedrooms, all bunkbeds, and in the very back was the bathroom, currently taken up by Tennessee and Georgia doing their makeup. Texas leaned against the wall, reading a Lacrosse magazine. "I dunno, I'm pretty glad to be with some of you guys compared to those eggheads we saw," Texas snorted. "Dudes with tight shorts and no bones. Y'know, y'all, I bet all these challenges are gonna be physical. Jumpin' through hoops an' stuff. Hey, Alabama, where you from?"

Alabama looked up from the couch. "Mobile. I call it the armpit of the South."

Texas was nodding his head, laughing. "Haha. Nice. I'm from Houston, myself. And... judging from that t-shirt you're still wearing, Louisiana, I'd say you're from N'awlins, am I right?"

She nodded, and deadpanned, "Gulf Coast. Woo hoo." The bus was silent for a few moments as Texas glanced around. "Where's that third dude?" Texas suddenly asked. "Arkansas. The black guy. There's only three of us guys in this team. Where is he?"

Alabama shrugged. "Man, y'all, I saw him readin' a book or somethin'. He kinda shooed me away. Dude's bunkin' with a chick. Florida, I think."

Texas nodded slowly and solemnly. From the front of the bus, the driver's radio suddenly crackled. "ETA five minutes!" a familiar voice cried out. "We'll get them all together and then start it off. This is Chris: out!"

**7:31 AM.**

Five buses slowly came to a stop in the middle of a valley. Tall mountain peaks rose all around, lit by the bright morning sun. Contestants squinted as they climbed out; the only stops the buses had made over the past three days were at various convenience stores along the way. Chris was shining his pearly whites at the contestants. "Have a good few days?" he asked cockily. "Today, we're doing something a little special. Welcome to Yellowstone National Park."

Nobody did anything. A few people yawned rather loudly. It seemed a few people had just woken up. New Jersey glanced around sleepily, and then performed an over-exaggerated slow-clap for Chris. Chris held his hand up haltingly. "Yeah, thanks," he said, clearly annoyed. "All of you guys are doing an obstacle course. The kind folks over at the 'Cheyenne Fun House Company' were kind enough to sponsor us with some obstacle courses! No, you won't be jumping over geysers or anything like that. Alright? I figure we can just... you know. Hop right to it."

There was only silence. Chris held his head in his hands for a moment, and then spoke. "You know, you guys were a lot more feisty in your audition videos. Like... like this kid. Idaho."

Idaho suddenly stepped back. "This kid," Chris yelled to the mute teenagers, "video-taped himself skateboarding through a half-pipe and drinking a Pepsi. We get him here and he hasn't spoken once! It kind of feels like you kids were lying to us in your audition videos! To make yourselves look good!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_5_mp3**

"Alright, to my defense? My brother was the skateboarder in that video. I was just filming. Dude didn't even _want_ to be on TV, so I used it. Sorry if that, uh, disappoints some of you guys."

Idaho

**7:42 AM.**

A few people looked indignant, but Chris was keen to get the show moving on. "Alright, well, don't be nervous from talking, alright?" he announced. "I know you guys barely know each other, but... Jesus. A few cries of, 'That's not in the contract I signed!' or 'You're heartless!' would be nice. Okay..."

It seemed like Chris just needed to let that out. He stood there for a moment or two, and then flashed his famous television smile. "Alright! First team to reach the end of the obstacle course wins. Last team loses!"

Something clicked into place in Hawaii's mind at that moment. "Hey!" he yelled. "Since Team Dakota's only got nine people, they'll get through it faster than the rest of us!"

Chris only shrugged. "Meh. It'll balance out the teams more or something. Alright! Get into positions. One person at a time."

The teams lined up. Alaska was still wearing her heavy coat, and panting. Nevada glanced at her. "Are you alright?" she asked, and continued, "It's not _that_ hot up here. Just wait until we get to _my_ state, heh."

Ahead, a huge spawl of metal parts and fixtures awaited. It all looked fairly dangerous, and ill-suited for a bunch of sixteen-year-olds, but Chris evidently did not care, as he wore his sly little grin. "Ready?" he cried, holding the gun up that shot blanks. "Set! Go-"

The gun cracked, and people from each team sped off towards the obstacle course. Initially, there was a lot of shoving and pushing - Maryland was knocked over into the dirt by Utah on accident - but soon the teams were running in single-file line, with Alabama in the front and Maryland in the last. "Go! You can do it!" Virginia cheered, waving at Maryland as she ran off.

**8:12 AM.**

Montana, running for Team Victory, hopped over a spinning wooden log in the middle of the track. Ahead, far worse contraptions awaited. She jumped to the side of a swinging metal bar, and nearly tripped on a fallen pine tree that looked like it wasn't even part of the obstacle course. Behind her, Utah was catching up menacingly. She jumped through a set of wooden beams, and began climbing a rope ladder. Alabama had already reached the top, and pressed a button, signaling the time for the next member of Team Touchdown to begin. At last, she reached the top, and slammed her fist on the button.

**8:16 AM.**

"Alaska! That's you!" Washington yelled, waving his arm frantically for Alaska to go forwards. "Agh!" she cried, stumbling. "I can't. It's... ah... it's too hot. I can't breathe. I can't breathe! Agh! How can you _stand_ this?"

Washington groaned, and ran forward. "I'll go on ahead!" he announced to his teammates, adjusting his glasses. "Someone get her some water or something!"

**8:33 AM.**

Kansas, of Team Dakota, hurriedly pressed the button at the top of the rope ladder, joining the dozen other contestants who'd already arrived. He waved at his team about a hundred yards away to send another person into the course, and collapsed. Beside him, stood Washington, who anxiously paced the dirt floor. "C'mon... c'mon..." he muttered. It had been about four minutes since he pressed the button. Lo and behold, California appeared from a tangle of wires, the final obstacle, and began climbing the rope ladder with a great deal of difficulty. "Where were you?" Washington asked. She whined, and climbed up to join him. After she pressed the button, she explained, "Alaska didn't want to come. She's still down there. They might send her now. I don't know. Is my hair messed up?"

"I - what? Oh, no, it looks fine," he lied, glancing at the dirt-crusted golden locks. "Alaska needs to get here soon, though... Team Touchdown's already halfway done."

"Oh... are you _sure_ my hair isn't messed up?"

**8:52 AM.**

Massachusetts waved at New York, about a hundred yards ahead, who had just climbed the rope ladder and pressed the button. "Go!" he ushered Pennsylvania, who nodded and quickly tied her bushy hair into an even bushier ponytail. She disappeared into the twisted metal labyrinth, and was seen no more. Massachusetts paced a little bit; their team was falling behind again. It was only by a small margin that they hadn't cocked up on last week's challenge. Was it likely that they would screw up on this week's?

Minutes later, Pennsylvania was already climbing up the rope ladder. Massachusetts cheered, and at the sound of the button, ran into the mess. Beside the ever-shrinking Team Democracy, however, was Alaska, being coaxed by Arizona and New Mexico.

Chris approached the three. "What's wrong with her?" he asked, slightly disgusted. "I dunno! She's too hot or somethin'!" New Mexico proclaimed, waving his visor to generate a breeze for Alaska. "I mean, she _is_... hot... but, like, temperature-wise. Um. Yeah. Yo, can we get some more water here?"

Their show's host shrugged, and smiled. "Nah. We're saving it for the interns. The interns, like you, are unpaid, but unlike you, are essential to the show's technical operation."

With that, he walked off, to Arizona's indignation. "Agh! She might have heat stroke or something. I... what was that?"

The button was clearly being pressed over and over again by Oregon. He waved frantically at them. "Aw, shiz, I gotta go," New Mexico yelped. "Yo, get her cooled down! We might have a chance at winning this!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_6_mp3**

"I don't think it was Alaska's fault. Girl's got issues! I can respect that. Like, with heat an' stuff. Back in ABQ, sometimes the pavement would literally feel like you're walkin' on hot coals. But... it was cool up in Yellowstone. At least, I thought it was."

New Mexico

**8:59 AM.**

"Done!" Minnesota cried, pressing down the button one last time for Team Dakota. They were finished, and the first team to do so. Moments later, and South Carolina ascended the ladder, joining her sister from Team America and completing the course for Team Touchdown. A few more minutes, and Illinois would arrive, finishing off Team America.

"Ugh!" New York cried, head in his hands. "We can't be competing for last like this again."

Connecticut was thoughtfully scratching his head. "No, no, no. Once Maine gets here, we're done. Team Victory's still got three more people left. We've got this."

New Mexico's head suddenly popped up at the top of the rope climb. Washington saw, and immediately sprung into action, slamming his hand down on the button. He pressed again, and again, but the two figures at the beginning didn't move. "It's Alaska, isn't it?" he asked, heart sinking. "Yup," New Mexico said, grunting as he pulled himself up. His shades almost fell off. "Arizona stayed behind with her. I'm not sure if they'll... oh, here's someone."

Maine and Illinois came flying out of the obstacles, and began attacking the rope climb up. Maine climbed at lightning speeds, and pressed the button, putting Team Democracy in third. Belated cheers were in the air, as Illinois defeatedly pressed the button for Team America, putting them in fourth.

"Yo!" Chris yelled, approaching. "What's the deal, Victory? You've got two contestants left behind. It's the chopping block for you guys tonight."

Montana moaned, considering that she was the second person to get up there in the first place. "Okay!" Chris said, clapping his hands together. "Well, Team Victory, I'll be seeing you guys at the rest stop tonight! The rest of you, get on your buses. We gotta figure out where we're going this weekend... and I have a good feeling that it'll be... somewhere up _north_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_7_mp3**

"I don't know what happened. I collapsed. It's too hot down here. I mean, I'm just so accustomed to it being daytime all day long during July, and cooler temperatures. I've lived in Alaska my whole life. I just... ugh. I wanted to get out of a small town, go see the real America. Ha. Well, I got what I wanted. The real America? It sucks."

Alaska

**4:43 PM.**

Five buses rumbled towards the nearest rest stop. Washington paced the floor of Team Victory's bus, thinking deeply. Oregon was watching him curiously. "What do you think?" he asked in a slightly shy voice. Washington stopped. "You know how when you've got frostbite? How the doctors have to cut off your limb?"

"Um. Ew. Yeah. Why?"

"If... Alaska can't handle being in the heat anywhere, she may end up having to be kicked off. Think about what happens when we end up having to go to a place like... like Florida or something."

Oregon looked let down at this, but proclaimed, "Yeah... I guess. I can't really think of anybody else who did a bad job. Arizona was nice by staying behind to help her."

"Gotta agree," Idaho announced, walking into the main living area of the bus. Washington glanced up at him, and nodded, stating, "I mean, she's probably really good at a bunch of things. But you saw her back in DC. She couldn't stand the heat. And I know where she's coming from. I get hot too, sometimes. It gets cold up in Seattle. But... I don't almost get heat-stroke like her. And besides, I think most people are gonna vote for her anyways, like it or not."

Montana, unnoticed up until this point, was reading an Outdoors magazine, and agreed. "I'm with you guys," she mused, flipping the pages nonchalantly. "I was the second person up on that platform, and we ended up dead last. I say we boot her."

Nobody really said anything after that, as it seemed most were in agreement.

**7:02 PM.**

"When I call your name, you get a snack. Today, they only had Doritos, but there's all sorts of flavors. Two kinds, actually. You'll love 'em. California!"

A bag of chips sailed over her head, as she extended manicured hands to grasp at the air. "Idaho, Montana, and New Mexico!"

Three bags of Doritos went flying. One of them landed on top of the bus. Chris just seemed to be flinging them now. "Oregon... and... Washington! Everyone I just called got zero votes. Nice job."

Only Nevada, Alaska, Arizona, and Hawaii remained. Chris stared at them meaningfully. "All of you guys got at least one vote. When I call your name... you get chips! Again, specifically Doritos this time. And I tell you how many voted for you. Hawaii. One vote, brother. What happened?"

A bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos landed into his arms casually. He shrugged, and glanced around at everyone, wondering who it was. Chris threw another bag of Doritos at Nevada, which landed on her chest. She grabbed at it gratefully. "One vote, Nevada!" Chris called in a sing-song voice. He then looked at the now chip-less Alaska and Arizona, who glanced at each other fearfully.

"Boy, I wonder who it'll be!" Chris said loudly, smiling, clearly using these teenager's hopes for his own advantage. He waited a while, just waving a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos like a conductor's baton.

"Is this where the music comes in?" Washington deadpanned as he squinted through his glasses. "Shush!" Chris hushed. "The producers love the pauses. Annnd... Arizona. Two votes for you, darling."

Arizona let the bag fall to the ground. "That's not fair!" she yelled, pointing at Alaska who'd already stood up. "She can't help being in the heat! She's lived in... in almost sub-zero temperatures her whole life!"

"It's not _that_ cold all the time, Arizona," Alaska said dully, picking up her bag. "But I should've just expected as much from... a team like this." Oregon hung his head in shame. A few of the team members looked guilty. "Anyways, see you guys later!" Alaska yelled, walking towards the waiting taxi. "Don't you wanna know how many people voted for you?" Chris called after her, arms devoid of chips.

"I can do the math!" she yelled back. "I'm not stupid. Six votes. Thanks again for the ride."

"Well, alright, then," Chris muttered, shrugging. "Looks like we _are_ going north. Sounds like... a bucket of fun, huh? I get to show you guys the, um, traditional Canadian countryside on the way there, yeah? It's a good time."

The now nine contestants in Team Victory shuffled their way to the bus for departure.

**10:25 PM.**

Washington was staring at the Montanan countryside fly by in the night. Stars littered the sky, as headlights rushed by every few seconds. Hawaii cautiously joined him. "You alright, brother?" he asked tentatively. Washington glanced, and nodded stiffly. "Um. Yeah."

Hawaii nodded, and looked outside. "Looks nice. The countryside, I mean," he hurriedly and unnecessarily added. Washington gave him a glance. "You were the one who voted for Nevada, weren't you?"

"Nah," Hawaii responded. "I went for Arizona. She could've gotten Alaska up and running again. Too gentle. I figured it didn't count anyways, since Alaska was doomed."

Washington nodded at that. Hawaii was watching him closely. "You look determined," he observed.

"Yeah, well, Hitler was determined, too. I don't see that as a good trait."

"But you're smart."

Washington laughed, and sat down on the couch in the rumbling bus. "Ha. Yeah, I'm not smart, no. I can think, sort of, but I'm not, like, textbook smart."

"Ohhh, gotcha, bro. You're, like, not book-smart... but you're street-smart! Haha! Respect, bro!"

"Uh. No... no, not like that."

Washington glanced over at the tiny kitchen. Oregon was making a sandwich, humming a bouncy tune as he laid out the ham and cheese.

Washington opened his mouth for a moment, and then spoke. "I... I... I know how people _think_. I can see it. I know how people react to things, and what they think about other people. I mean, not immediately, I have to know them first, but it doesn't take... doesn't take long. Like, Oregon, there," Washington said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "He's... he's hiding something, I think. I'm not sure yet. This is just speculation. Best if you don't press him about it."

Hawaii seemed confused. "Okay, so... tell me. What, hypothetically, would happen if I asked out California? I mean, damn, dude, you gotta admit, she's smoking hot, bro."

Washington winced slightly. "I figure she'd do the stereotypical thing of denying you immediately... and then, it'd depend on if she was willing to go for Idaho or New Mexico. If not, then she'd act like she hates you, but secretly likes you."

Hawaii's eyes were wide. "Man! Okay, okay, thanks for that, dude. I... didn't think it was a lost cause. Jeez. You are smart."

"Like I said. I can think. I'm not smart."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming and Alaska.


	4. Hot, Steamy Noises

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 3: HOT, STEAMY NOISES**

_"You're interested in her, aren't you?" - Massachusetts_

**Saturday, July 12th, 2014. Alaskan Range, Alaska. 12:40 AM.**

Team America's bus, along with four others, rattled along the curvy road up the mountains of Alaska. Most of its occupants were still asleep.

Ohio groaned, and raised his head. He'd accidentaly fallen asleep on the couch again. He squinted out the window of the shaking bus, and squinted. The dim sun was on the northern horizon, creating a hazy orange hue over the land. "Man..." he mumbled. "What time is it?"

Indiana, who was working on a Sudoku puzzle up until that point, noticed that Ohio had stirred. She had remained quiet for most of her time on the show so far. "Oh, you're awake," she deadpanned with a bored expression. "I dunno. It's like midnight or something. Go back to bed."

Ohio was now just confused. "Huh?" he asked, looking around. "But the sun's up. It's gotta be at least-"

"Nope, she's right!"

West Virginia came bouncing into the room. "It's 12:42 AM, AKST! Since we're in Alaska now, the sun's up all the time during summer! _HEH_! Party all day long, am I right? _HEHEHEH_!"

Ohio looked uncomfortable, and elected to just lie down for a few more hours, when Virginia walked into the room, wearing a nightgown and scratching her back. "Hey," she asked sleepily, "anyone see my toothbrush around anywhere?"

West Virginia revolved on the spot to face Virginia with an off-putting smile. "Oh, right here!" he exclaimed, and unveiled the bristled utensil from somewhere in the depths of his pants. "I just wanted to make sure it was safe while you were asleep, since we're partners and all. _HEH!_ Here you go!"

Virginia stepped back from West Virginia, and stared at the toothbrush uncomfortably. "Uhhh..." she slowly began, clearly unnerved. "Okay... West Virginia? You need to cool it, string bean."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_8_mp3**

"Look, I ain't got nothin' on the little white ginger. But seriously? That's just too far. He thinks I'm his partner or somethin', just cause our states are like right by each other. I mean... I get it, he can't get _enough_ of big ol' Virginia, but... that's creepy."

Virginia

**12:43 AM.**

For a few moments, everyone stood around not saying much, staring at West Virginia, whose shoulders began to slump. "Um..." Ohio began, glancing at Viginia's uncomfort. "West Virginia... why don't you go... somewhere... away... er, no, I think Arkansas needs your help. I hear him calling you. He needs help putting his socks on or something."

West Virginia's confused expression gave way to bright happiness as he understood. "Oh, well, okay then!" he exclaimed. "Anything for a teammate! Like they say, a friend in need is a _friend indeed_!"

The redhead waltzed out of the room, allowing Virginia to finally breathe out. "Wow," Indiana remarked in a flat tone, "I literally _can't even_ with you guys right now."

"Thanks," Virginia mumbled to Ohio, who waved his hand sleepily. "Don't sweat it," he responded, rubbing his eyes. "Dudes like him just need to chill. He's kind of... um. Stalkerish."

Virginia chuckled, as Ohio laid down on the couch once more, drifting back into a much-needed sleep.

**5:15 AM.**

Five AM. Team Touchdown's bus rumbled its way up the Alaskan mountain side. "Yo!" Texas yelled to a drowsy Alabama. "I'm tellin' y'all! It's been sunny out there for _hours_, and it's like five AM!"

Alabama shook his head, and scoffed. "Nah, dude. Can't be that early. Sun's too high. Your clock's wrong."

"All our clocks are wrong!" Texas exclaimed. "We're in Canada or somethin'. Oh, man, dude, I bet we're in, uh, Quebec. Any of y'all know how to speak French?"

Upon hearing this, Florida, who was sitting on the couch beside Arkansas, rolled her eyes, and resumed working on her crossword puzzle.

"Yo, Tex! If you breathe on the window like _this_, little ice crystals pop up!"

"No way, Al. I don't believe it. No way. There's no wa - OH MY GAWD"

Florida leaned closer to Arkansas, and whispered, "Oh, my. They already have nicknames for each other. I think we should expect a happy announcement by the end of the week."

Arkansas suddenly burst into a fit of coughing, which he covered up with his book. "Sorry!" he mumbled, eyes watering. "Sorry. Ignore me, um... 'Big Al',"

The two guys ignored their immobile teammates, and continued in their fascination with the window, making hot, steamy noises on the glass and laughing hysterically at the frigid results. "Dude, there's so much snow out there!" Texas proclaimed, staring out the window of the moving bus. Arkansas, upon hearing this, looked up and out of the window to take a look. There was less than an inch, and it appeared to be melting. He resumed reading. "Wow..." Alabama whispered, looking out. "It's like... it's like a winter _wonderland_."

**9:11 AM.**

"_Contestants_!" a familiar voice cried, amplified by a bullhorn. Five buses all rested on the peak of a snow-capped mountain, in front of forty-eight teenagers. Their sadistic, yet amiable host wore his bright, probably trademarked smile, and gestured at the slope in front of them. "Who wants to go skiing?"

Colorado's ears perked up almost instantaneously. "Interns!" Chris yelled through the bullhorn, prompting several college-aged interns to walk forward, carrying many sets of skis. "Bring out... the skis! Okay, contestants. Now, as a show of hands, how many of you have gone skiing before?"

About twelve people raised their hands shakily. Most of them were from Team Dakota and Team Democracy. Absolutely nobody raised their hand from Team Touchdown. "Perfect!" Chris said, smiling maliciously. "I want each one of you to make it down this slope on skis! All you gotta do is make it to the bottom without falling. No second tries, okay? You get one point for trying... and three points for making it to the bottom. No points if you don't try."

A few people looked confident, but for the most part, everyone appeared terrified. It was clear that few people actually knew how to ski. "Well, get together!" Chris yelled, sitting down comfortably in a lawn chair. "Figure out what order you want and strap in. I'll be waiting riiight _here_."

"Okay!" North Dakota yelled, the first person out of any of the teams to take action. "Alright, I want a show of hands again! How many of _you_ know how to ski?"

Minnesota, Utah, and Colorado raised their hands. South Dakota suddenly remembered something. "Oooh!" she said. "Um, 'North Dakota', remember that ski trip we went to last Thanksgiving?"

A stiff nod was received from North Dakota. "Yes. I remember the ambulances. So, we have these guys go first so we can find out if it's safe or not. These twigs," she said, waving her hand towards Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa, "they can go after them. Alright?"

There were a few hurried nods from the members of Team Dakota. Everyone was too terrified to speak out. North Dakota looked satisfied. "Good. They can show you how to strap in or whatever."

**9:41 AM.**

Team Touchdown, however, was having a little more trouble. Nobody seemed to know how to wear their skis except Alabama, who claimed to have been "water skiing" before. "It's real simple, y'all," he explained. "Y'just gotta keep your feet straight. That's all it takes. I dunno what these poles do, but just don't turn your feet or anythin'. Remember. You're just slidin' on the snow. That's all it is."

"I can't get these on!" Mississippi wailed, stamping her feet in the snow and discarding the long boards. "Hold on, now," Alabama muttered, coaxing Mississippi to try them on. "Come on, now, I'll help you."

Alabama gazed up into Mississippi's eyes for a moment, and then looked away. "Nice and snug, now. Can't have you fallin' out or anything," he explained, fixing the boards to her shoes. Both Texas and Arkansas seemed impressed.

**9:49 AM.**

"Alright, since the only person on this team who knows how to ski is North Carolina," Michigan explained to Team America, "we'll just have to wing it. I'm sure it can't be that hard. Just... go straight, right?"

There were a few nods from teammates. "And remember," Michigan reminded them, "you get points for trying. So... at least try, even if you don't think you'll make it."

**9:53 AM.**

New Jersey sat on the snow with his skis at his side. "I don't know what to do!" he complained. "I've never done this before. Snow is depressing."

Massachusetts knelt beside him. "Hmm," he muttered, examining the skis. "It's not too hard. Just... put on the skis. It's like strapping on boots. I went skiing one winter, and it was okay. Just try for the team, alright?"

"Yeah!" encouraged Delaware, who already had hers strapped on. "You just... put them on, and go!"

She slid away, pulled forward by the ski poles to go investigate why Maine was sitting on the ground doing nothing. New Jersey watched Delaware recede, and commented, "I like her. Y'know what? I think I _will_ ski!"

Massachusetts smiled, and patted New Jersey on the back. "Well, good on you, Jersey. C'mon, I think we're starting soon."

**9:59 AM.**

"You guys ready?" called Chris, who stood at the top of the hill carrying a magnum. "Each team sends out their first skier when I fire! You can send them out as fast as you want, but remember, the points are where if you actually make it or not! So, take your time. Ready?"

The five teams seemed ready for the competition. For Team Victory, Oregon stood with his purple skis, ready to go. Team Democracy's Pennsylvania was going first. North Carolina was Team America's first choice, Colorado for Team Dakota, and Alabama for Team Touchdown. "Set!" Chris yelled, pointing the gun in the air. "Go-"

CRACK. The sound of the gun sent the first five skiers downwards, all racing quickly down the steep slope. The first contestants fared well, as they all had experience with skiing before in some shape or form. Even Alabama scored three points for his team, to their delight. Nobody fell, and all the points were awarded to the teams. Within a few minutes, they had arrived at the finish line, putting all teams at a tie.

"Go!" New York shouted, letting Massachusetts go next for Team Democracy. After Alabama completed the slope, Mississippi immediately went afterwards, with a shout of, "Let me try!"

Within the span of four seconds, she fell, crumpling to a halt about twenty feet down the slope. "Ouch!" Chris commented, smiling with an amused twinkle in his eye. "One point for Team Touchdown! Not impressive!"

Mississippi's fall immediately deterred the other members of Team Touchdown from going forth and trying. When Missouri was ushered forth to the slope, she immediately began shaking her head. "No!" she yelled. "No. I don't like steep slopes. I don't like them at all. I don't like it. Make someone else do it."

"Is that a zero for Missouri?" Chris called in a sing-song voice, to which Missouri nodded shamefully. "For shame, Missouri, for shame!" Chris said, writing it down in his notepad as the members of Team Touchdown glared at her.

"Don't worry, I got this! Yaaay!" California yelled from Team Victory, and pushed herself down the slope. For a hundred yards or so, things seemed alright. "You've got it!" New Mexico yelled, cheering her on. Washington glanced up at New Mexico's sunglasses. "It's like forty degrees up here," he commented. "Aren't you going to take those off?"

New Mexico smiled, and shook his head. "Nah, brother! The shades mean I've got this under contro-"

California suddenly took a spill, right near the end. "Oh, Jesus," Arizona whispered, gasping. "Someone needs to check on her. She might be hurt."

Chris gave California a thumbs down, and said, "I'm sure someone will!"

**10:10 AM.**

"Beat him down!" North Dakota screamed, cheering on Utah, who had just descended the slope. It was close between Utah and Vermont from Team Democracy. Utah heard North Dakota, and cautiously slid in front of Vermont's path, who skidded just out of the way, causing him to take a plummet into the snow. "Yes!" North Dakota cried. "That's how it's done!"

"_What_?" New York yelled. "That's _cheating_! Chris, disqualify Team Dakota!"

Chris just shrugged. "I never said you couldn't trip up the other contestants! Interestingly played, North Dakota. One point for Vermont, and... Utah finished, so three points for him."

New York stood in disbelief at Chris's nonchalant attitude towards the trip. "I can't believe this," he muttered, as New Hampshire was sent down the slope.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_9_mp3**

"Oh, come on. Wait, you're asking me if I should be ashamed? You're serious? This is a reality show. There's a million dollars for the person that wins. I doubled my chances with my sister joining the show with me. If anybody doesn't like _tactics_, they can kiss my ass, because I don't care. If Vermont or whoever wanted that million badly enough, he could have just used the same tactics. It's a fair game out there. Don't patronize me with your questions."

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_10_mp3**

"I am so, so, so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I... I was so close to the finish line, and I saw Vermont, and for some reason I thought he was gonna beat me and take the point or something - and I heard North Dakota _screaming_ at me, and I didn't want to let down the team, and so... I cut across Vermont. I didn't mean for him to... to fall like that. Or for him to get a concussion."

Utah

**10:32 AM.**

"Are you guys gonna go, or what?"

Chris McLean was standing on the mountain. Eight contestants remained, who absolutely refused to take the plunge down the mountain. Rhode Island, North Dakota, Arizona, West Virginia, Arkansas, and Missouri all stood awkwardly. Everyone else had at least gotten one point for their team. "Well, okay, then," Chris said, sighing. "Time to tally up!"

For a few minutes, Chris sat doing basic addition while the eight contestants waited on him. Everyone else was at the bottom enjoying refreshments. "Ah!" Chris said, tapping his notepad with a pencil. "Looks like we have a winner! Team Victory, with twenty total points!"

Arizona sighed in relief, and sat down on the snow. Chris smiled, and continued, "Team America got second with nineteen points, Team Democracy in third with seventeen points, Team Dakota in fourth with sixteen points... and Team Touchdown. Last place. Ten points. Quite literally, the only person who finished on your team was Alabama."

Both Arkansas and Missouri groaned, letting their heads hang. "It'll be fun to find out who gets kicked off!" Chris added unnecessarily, winking at the two contestants. "I can hardly wait. Meet up in the buses. Someone get Vermont his ambulance, or whatever he needs. I'll see you guys... later."

**3:59 PM.**

Team Touchdown's bus sped down the steep mountainside slopes of Alaska. Most of the team was silent, and still soaking wet, as seven of them had fallen into the snow at one point or another. Only Alabama seemed confident in his safety in the evening's voting, and as such, took up a quiet conversation with Texas and Mississippi.

"Alright, y'all," he whispered. "Someone's goin' home tonight. Now... I don't know 'bout y'all," he muttered, "but I see it as a game between Missouri an' Arkansas. What do y'all think?"

Texas nodded righteously. "They could'a tried," he pointed out. "Hell, I might've made it to the bottom. But at least I tried. And Mississippi."

Curiously, Alabama avoided looking at Mississippi. "Well, here's what I'm thinkin'," Alabama muttered, directing the conversation away. "I'm thinkin' we keep the black dude. Arkansas. We can't have a team with just two guys. It ain't right."

Mississippi screwed up her face. "I like Missouri. Y'know, y'all, she painted my nails the other day."

Texas turned on her, and harshly whispered, "Girl, when do you think paintin' nails is gonna be challenge? Exactly. Like I said, all these challenges are _physical_. We just slipped up, 'cause nobody knows how to ski."

The blonde shrank at that statement. Alabama nodded slowly. "Which is why I say we keep Arkansas," he muttered. "And anyways, he's smart or somethin'. I know that's important."

Texas shook his head sadly. "Man, dude, like I'm tellin' you. All these challenges are physical. Relay race. Obstacle course. Skiing. I bet when we get to my state, we'll end up ridin' horses or somethin'. I say we boot the nerdy dude. He's just gonna hold us back."

Alabama glared at Texas. "Whatever, man. One of 'em's goin' home. I know that."

**7:01 PM.**

Ten teenagers shivered in the parking lot of a supermarket in Anchorage, a few hours drive from the mountains. The sun was high up, even though it was around 7 PM. "Alright, kids," Chris teased, wielding a plastic bag full of candy. "I've got candy for _nine _of you. That means one of you is going home. You've all voted. Now, it's time to see. Team Touchdown hasn't gone through voting yet, so lemme explain how it works. I call your name, and tell you how many votes you got, going from least votes to most votes. I will begin. Alabama! Zero votes, my man."

Alabama caught a small package. He frowned at it. "What the hell's a 'Crunchie'?"

"It's _Canadian candy_, Alabama!" Chris yelled, evidently annoyed. "I'm sorry, but this was all we could pick up on the way here. Deal with it. Florida! You get some Smarties. No votes."

The young girl caught it, and glanced at the box, which depicted candies that looked more like Skittles. "These aren't Smarties," she told him. "Canadian Smarties aren't the same," Chris sighed, with his head in his hands. "How many times do I have to say that? Try something new for once. Georgia! Zero votes. Smarties for you, too."

The brown haired girl picked up the box, which had simply fallen to the pavement. "Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Tennessee!" Chris yelled, tossing out candies in lightning quick succession at each of the girls. "No votes! Good job."

Chris held only two more candies, which he waved tauntingly in front of the three remaining contestants: Texas, Arkansas, and Missouri. "Each of you three got at least one vote!" he called. "I have an Aero right here for the next person, who is... Texas! One vote, dude."

Texas caught the green packet, and looked around cautiously. "Arkansas and Missouri," Chris then said, chuckling. "Nine votes total were directed towards you two. Coincidentally... one of you got five votes, and the other got four. The final Coffee Crisp goes to..."

Arkansas gulped. Missouri glanced around, terrified, knowing that at least four people had voted for her... to be kicked off. Chris just stood there, with his permanent grin.

"Arkansas!"

You could visibly see the relief on Arkansas's face, as he grabbed for the Coffee Crisp. "Sorry, Missouri!" Chris then declared. "You got the five votes. Your taxi awaits you. I think you have a long... _long_ drive home."

Missouri turned around to face her team. There were tears in her eyes, but she stood strong. "Why?" she asked them. "What did I do to deserve this? I've been... I've been nice to every single one of you."

"There's plenty of time for crying on the way home!" Chris exclaimed, patting her on the back. "Tissues are complimentary in 'La Cab del Losers'. Grab your things, and hop in."

Missouri stood for a few more moments, looking at each of her teammates, who all avoided her glare. Then, with an exaggerated huff, she turned around, and went to round up her items from the bus. "Well!" Chris decided. "This has been eventful. We are now scheduled to be in Saint Louis this Wednesday! Are you guys _ready_?"

Nobody said anything, as the teenagers of Team Touchdown awkwardly shifted where they stood. Chris crossed his arms. "Whoa now, kids, don't get _too_ crazy. Anyways. To the buses! All aboard!"

**11:36 PM.**

It was late at night on Team Democracy's bus, but the sun was still just above the horizon to the north. Connecticut was sitting on his bunk, the bottom one. Above him, lay Massachusetts, who was reading the July PC Gamer magazine. On the second bunk bed in the small room, New York was laying on the top. Vermont owned the one below him, but he was somewhere else. There was a moment of silence, and then Connecticut muttered, with a sly grin, "Well, at least we got in third. That's a lot better than fourth, huh?"

New York just glanced at Connecticut, and rolled over, trying to get sleep. Massachusetts chuckled, and flipped the page. "I guess. The only person who didn't go was... Rhode Island, right?"

Connecticut looked down. "Um. Yes."

"You're interested in her, aren't you?"

"I - no, man, I - dude, shush. No. I don't know what you're talking about."

Massachusetts rolled his eyes. "I can _tell_ when a guy is interested in someone. You should go for it, dude."

Connecticut furrowed his brow at that. "Wait, why can you specifically tell when a _guy_ is interested in-"

"Like, for instance, New York here. I saw him eyeing Pennsylvania."

New York, who had been eavesdropping up until that point, rolled back over, and blearily glanced at Massachusetts. He shook his head softly, and chuckled, "It may have crossed my mind."

"See?" Massachusetts reasoned, and went back to reading his article about the Oculus Rift. Connecticut sat there for a few more moments. "You... really think I should go for it?"

"Sure. Why not?" the bespectacled teen said with a casual wave of his hand. "It'd probably help in keeping people from being voted off. Just don't, like, become distracted or anything."

Connecticut was just slowly nodding, and went back to scrolling down social media on his phone. "Isn't this show aired live?" he asked Massachusetts. The top bunker looked down. "No. The episodes air a week after they're filmed, from what I know. Why?"

"Twitter says we're trending."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_11_mp3**

"Connecticut's a good guy. I can tell. I think his infatuation with Rhode Island is a bit silly, considering that eventually one of them's going to be separated from the other, but his heart's in the right place. New York? He's a good leader. He pushed us not to lose in the past three challenges. Delaware's physically fit. New Jersey... he's a creep, I'll say that. He asked me _several_ times if it was socially acceptable to photograph people without their knowledge, and I saw him staring at Delaware's butt. That's not okay. But... apart from him? I think we have a good team going here, one more... sophisticated than any of the southerners. We've got this."

Massachusetts

**11:39 PM.**

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, and Missouri.


	5. Revolution

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 4: REVOLUTION**

_"Hey, it's just some friendly advice." - New York_

**Wednesday, July 16th, 2014. Saint Louis, Missouri. 8:04 AM.**

"Oh, wow! We're almost there!"

Oklahoma was staring out the window of Team Dakota's bus, clearly captivated by the view. They were approaching the city of Saint Louis, Missouri. "Look at the view out there!"

The huge arch dominated the skyline, slightly taller than any of the other buildings. Before it, lay the sleepy Mississippi River. Oklahoma's breath fogged up as she stared out the glass, utterly entranced.

Nebraska approached, and craned his neck to take a look. "Man," he muttered. "I've been here before. I never though I'd go here for a gameshow, heh. What do you think Chris is gonna make us do?"

North Dakota entered that part of the bus, prompting Nebraska and Oklahoma to immediately sit back down. "Oklahoma," she said haughtily, "it's time to make me and South Dakota's beds. Did you forget?"

"Oh!" Oklahoma stammered, immediately standing up. "Oh... oh! I'm... I'm sorry! I forgot, I'll... do that now!"

North Dakota exited right as South Dakota walked in cautiously, giving her sister a wide berth. "Um..." South Dakota mumbled, "ignore her. I can do it. She gets a bit... _touchy_ on challenge days."

Oklahoma avoided South Dakota's gaze, and stammered, "No, no, it's no problem at all! I'm just so glad to have you guys as friends. We... _are_ a team, after all!"

The overalled girl ran into the bedrooms, leaving South Dakota standing there. "Um..." she said. "well, it's challenge day! Exciting, huh?"

Nebraska avoided South Dakota's peer, and satisfied himself with examining his thumbs. South Dakota sighed, and sat down in a stool as the city grew nearer.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_12_mp3**

"I appreciate what my sister's doing for me. She really knows how to... um. Take control of a situation, and she really, _really_ has the team viewing her as a leader, or something like that. But... isn't the point of a gameshow to have fun? What's the fun in spending six months with nine other people when you can't have any enjoyment, and you're so... so busy with trying to win? I guess I shouldn't complain. I've got five hundred thousand dollars in my future."

South Dakota

**8:45 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus. Driving through the streets of Saint Louis in the vain hopes that there will be parking somewhere for the challenge. Nine AM.

Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Vermont all sat in the living room of the bus. Massachusetts was on his laptop, playing a video game. Vermont was reading. Rhode Island was staring out the window out the sights, making little "Ooh!"s every few seconds. Connecticut sat awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs. Every few moments, Massachusetts glanced up at Connecticut, who seemed to be making no moves whatsoever. And then, it clicked in Massachusetts's head.

He stood up, and said, "Come on, Vermont. I think I heard New York. He needs our help with... something."

Vermont looked confused, but the mute teenager consented to follow Massachusetts out of the room. Connecticut sat glancing nervously, and then spoke.

"Um. Hi."

Rhode Island's gaze flew over, as she was evidently startled. "Oh, my god!" she muttered. "You scared me."

"Ah... um... sorry, sorry... listen... I was thinking..."

**8:48 AM.**

Chris sat in a small tent in a park in front of the capitol building, watching a panel of TV monitors. "Oh my god," he muttered, letting his head fall into his hands. "This has to be the most awkward moment in television history."

**8:49 AM.**

Rhode Island blinked. "Oh, wow. Um... sure. I'd love to. You're sweet." And with that, she bounced out of the room, into which Massachusetts entered, now accompanied by New York. New York cringed, and muttered, "That was one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever seen in my life. You know that, right?"

It didn't matter to Connecticut, who seemed high as a cloud right now. "I don't care," he breathed. "I did it. We're together or something. I've never done anything like that before now."

Massachusetts and New York exchanged glances. "Wait, you've _never_ had a girlfr-"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_12_mp3**

"_YES_! I _knew_ I could do it! Ohhh, man, I was ready to just quit right then and there, but she said yes, and I don't know _why_ but I think we're a thing now! Ha_hah_! I am on fire. Oh, man. This is the beginning of a new era. I can do anything."

Connecticut.

**9:12 AM.**

"Contestants!" Chris yelled with an annoyed expression in a park downtown. Behind him stood the tall and proud City Hall, and behind that, the Gateway Arch, a symbol of the gate to the west. "I'm not impressed! Now, granted, we _are_ doing _reaaally_ well with ratings right now. But someone here has been watching the episodes."

He angrily glared at the forty-seven contestants. "Some of you may be asking, with feigned innocent stares, 'What is he talking about? I, a _teenager_, am completely innocent!' What I mean is... you may know that the episodes are starting to air right now. And some of you have been watching them, and watching the confessional tapes. This is _forbidden_! You're not supposed to know the other contestants confessional tapes! If everyone knows their confessional isn't private to the other contestants, nobody will reveal their juicy secrets! Secrets that will _boost ratings_! So... I'm going to have to confiscate your phones and electronic devices."

"_WHAT_?!" was the collective cry of forty-seven teenagers. Chris smiled maliciously. "Don't worry, I've got the Interns going through the buses right now, taking anything that might get you connected to the Internet. You'll get them _back_ if you get booted off. Er, sorry - _when_ you get booted off. Now. Who's ready for our fourth challenge?"

Nobody said anything. Everyone was too stunned with Chris's news to speak. California was doubled over sobbing, as a plastic box of electronics was hauled out from Team Victory's bus. Chris was just grinning sadistically at the teenagers.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_13_mp3**

"I don't get Chris's fetish with being an asshole. He, like, specifically enjoys ticking us off. I've watched all the Total Drama seasons up until this point for strategy and I can tell you that he was definitely like that the whole time. Also, Heather? She was a complete idiot about how she handled things. There's a difference between being a leader and being a psychopath. Alejandro was a much better candidate."

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_14_mp3**

"Oh, no. No, no, no. I need my laptop. I need it! He can't get away with this. This is _illegal_."

Washington

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_15_mp3**

"_NO"_

California

**9:16 AM.**

A few contestants were wailing. Chris had his fingers in his ears, and was just yelling, "_LALALALALALA_" as a band of twelve contestants were preparing to raid the Interns for their electronics back. "For the _REVOLUTION_!" Washington cried, leading the group of misfits wielding pool noodles against the Interns.

"_Stop_!" Chris ordered. "No! No revolutions! _Bad_! You don't get a million dollars for having a revolution, contestants! You get kicked off!"

The disgruntled teenagers threw down the pool noodles, but not before angrily staring at Chris and cautiously eyeing the plastic boxes of phones and tablets. "You kids brought this on yourselves!" Chris yelled, glaring at the dozens of kids. "You just _had_ to look online and watch the first and second episodes. Yeah, well, no more phones for you. Okay. Now that everyone's had their little _uprising_ or whatever, we seriously need to get going with our fourth challenge. We're doing a scavenger hunt."

At this news, most people seemed interested, and took their attention away from the electronics. Chris smiled his copy-written smile, and explained, "There are four different items you must find. I give you guys a clue, and then you run around throughout the city trying to find it. First team to find it is safe! Nobody on that team will be eliminated, and they can come back here for refreshments. I then give out the next clue to everyone else via radio. The team that gets no clue correct loses. Alright?"

Washington finally dropped his pool noodle, and looked up at Chris, evaluating the challenge ahead. New York seemed to be nodding, as though he was prepared for such a challenge. "Is everyone ready for your first clue?" Chris asked, looking around. "I will say it once. No repeats. It's up to you guys to _actually listen_."

"The first clue is this: where do red birds live?"

A few people on the teams began to immediately try to decrypt the message. "Red birds..." Rhode Island wondered. "Where would you find a bird? Maybe... the zoo?"

With that, Team Democracy immediately ran to the zoo, which was quite a while west. Washington was thinking. "It can't be that simple," he explained. "Why would he specify that the birds are _red_? Maybe it's like the name of a company or something..."

Chris just smiled at Team Victory, as they immediately ran downtown. Upon North Dakota's orders, Team Dakota followed them. Virginia was sitting with her head in her hands. "Ugh. I don't know," she complained. "If we just had our phones, we could... I dunno. Look it up."

Ohio looked up instantly at that. "Oh. I think we could," he explained. "We could just go to the library and look it up. If we're lucky, Chris is talking about it on Twitter right now, or something."

Team America just ran off, leaving Team Touchdown still just standing there. "All physical challenges, huh, Tex?" Alabama deadpanned, glancing up at the Texan. "Shut up, man!" he yelled back. "I'm tryin' to think!"

Arkansas just stood there. "Red bird?" he wondered. "Isn't that like the baseball team here?"

Everyone turned to stare at him. "What?"

"Like," he explained, "the baseball team. The Cardinals. A Cardinal is a type of red bird."

As Texas just stared, South Carolina excitedly jumped, and cried, "That's it! That's _it_! The baseball stadium is just a few blocks from here! Let's _go_!"

**9:45 AM.**

"Where are we?" Pennsylvania asked New York as Team Democracy trudged west. "To the zoo," Rhode Island explained. "It's exactly where we'd find something like a red bird. It's probably the only place you'd be able to find it."

The radio crackled suddenly, making them all jump. "Team Touchdown wins the first clue!" Chris crackled through static. "They are safe! The correct answer was the Busch stadium housing the Saint Louis Cardinals! Nice job, Arkansas! Next clue is this!"

Team Democracy groaned, as they then strained to listen. "Bill Nye!" was the only thing that came out of the radio. "That is all!"

Massachusetts just stared at the radio after an angry glare at Rhode Island. "Was Saint Louis his birthplace or something?" Connecticut asked. "Maybe his home is a museum. Where would that be?"

"I don't know," New York admitted. "We need one of those informational brochures or something."

**9:58 AM.**

"Alright..." Ohio mumbled, typing something out into Google at the Saint Louis Public Library. "We're looking for Bill Nye's connection to Saint Louis. Let's see here..."

He typed it out, and squinted at the screen. "It looks like... in 2012 he did some sort of lecture at the Saint Louis Science Center, but that's it."

Virginia sighed, and rubbed her forehead. "Well, we might as well try that," she reasoned. "Come on. Look up where it is. Maybe we can get there soon."

**10:01 AM.**

"Did we come up here for nothing?" Oregon sighed, looking out the view of the top floor of a downtown office building. "Maybe," Washington admitted, "Also... what's 'Bill Nye' supposed to mean? What does he have to do with the clue?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't know," North Dakota sighed, approaching Washington, who took an involuntary step back. "Uh, what are you guys doing here?" he asked, and continued, "We got here first. And besides, there's no birds up here." North Dakota got closer to Washington, who looked uncomfortable. "You know where the Bill Nye clue is," she whispered. "Tell me, and I can assure you it'll be worth your time."

She grabbed his arm, leaving him to wriggle out. "No," he harshly whispered, looking slightly disgusted. "I'm not... interested, and that means exactly what it sounds like it means. Find it on your own."

Team Victory left, but not before New Mexico flipped Team Dakota off as the elevator doors closed. "Argh!" North Dakota exclaimed. "This is ridiculous! You. Nebraska. You're smart or something. Tell us who Bill Nye is."

Nebraska looked terrified. "Um... he's a scientist or something. He did the kids show."

Just then, the radio blared, "Nice job, Team America!" causing everyone to jump. "The Saint Louis Science Center is the correct location! The third clue is the following. It's not so much as a clue as it is... just a blatant admittance to what the location is. Your next location is at the _Saint Louis Citygarden_! Go, go, _go_!"

**10:08 AM.**

"That's right near here!" New Mexico shouted, sunglasses dancing dangerously about his face, as Team Victory sprinted down the sidewalks of Saint Louis, dodging disgruntled businessmen. "Come on! It's some park! It's got sculptures! We've got this!"

**10:10 AM.**

"Come _on_!" New York yelled, sprinting east towards the city. They'd trudged a long, long way towards the zoo, only to find themselves far, far away from everyone else. "This is your fault, Rhode Island!"

"Hey!" Connecticut shouted. "At least she gave us a suggestion as to where to go! You just stood there doing nothing!"

New York turned on him, and called, "I was doing _nothing_? _You_ were too busy making goo-goo eyes at Rhode Island to know what you were doing! And now we're going to lose! You'd better pray that we find that last clue."

**10:15 AM.**

Two teams converged on the Citygarden simultaneously, only to find out that Team Victory had already made it triumphantly. "Nice going, Team Victory!" Chris yelled, smiling broadly. "There's only one more clue! Team Dakota. Team Democracy. You must decipher this clue. Alright? Sorry about the last clue, by the way!"

"You mean where the previous clue was just a blatant race to the finish line?" Massachusetts deadpanned, glaring at Chris, who shrugged. "We like to have fun here!" Chris admitted. "Lighten up. Your clue is the following."

"What do stoners and airplanes have in common?"

Everyone froze. "Is that the beginning to a terrible joke?" New Mexico asked, sipping a Fanta and sitting down on the grass with the rest of his team. "Sort of!" Chris said, smiling. "It's the clue to the next location... and the last location."

Massachusetts nodded slowly. "Well... the obvious answer is that-"

New Jersey blurted out, "They're both really high! So... what's the highest point in the city?"

There was approximately one second in which nobody did anything. And then, Team Dakota sprinted off towards the Gateway Arch.

"_After them_!" New York yelled, leading the charge following Team Dakota. The Gateway Arch was just past City Hall, but the race between Team Dakota and Team Democracy was growing thin.

"There are two elevators!" North Dakota screamed to her team. "I take one, and South takes the other! _Don't let them in_!"

North Dakota and South Dakota split towards the two bases of the arch, each shoving the elevator attendants aside.

"No!" Connecticut shouted, banging on the elevator door as it shut. "_Nooo_! They can't do that! Chris, doesn't every team member have to meet at the location? It's just two members of their team!"

Chris shrugged. "I dunno! This makes for good drama, though! I like it!"

A few moments passed, in which Team Democracy all waited anxiously. And then, Chris's radio blared, in a screeching voice, "_I've got it! We're here!_"

"Team Dakota has found the fourth location!" Chris shouted with a broad smile. "Which means... Team Democracy! You _lost_! Hahahahah! That was a lot of fun. It'll be interesting to find out who's going to be voted out! Team Touchdown, Team America, Team Victory, and Team Dakota, go and rest. It'll be time to vote... _very_ soon."

**12:10 PM.**

"Aw, man..."

Connecticut was lying on the couch of Team Democracy's bus as it roared out of the city. "This was our first loss," he sighed, rolling over. "We should've done well, too."

New York glanced at Connecticut. "You got distracted by Rhode Island," he pointed out. Connecticut immediately bolted upright, and shouted, "No, I didn't! I haven't spoken to her since this morning! We've been so busy! Don't pin the blame on me. It was everyone else's fault just as much."

Massachusetts was sitting at the kitchen table, re-reading his magazine. "I dunno," he muttered. "I think the biggest issue here is that Chris took away everything from us. No phones. No laptops. No tablets. How are we supposed to _live_?"

Delaware, who sat across from him, mentioned, "Hey, just a few years ago, kids our age didn't have electronics like this. My sister told me she didn't get a phone until she was in high school."

This tale of cellular abstinence inexplicably wowed everyone in the bus. "Whoa, really?" Connecticut mused, impressed. "What did people _do_ in those ancient times?"

"Strap in!" a crackling voice shouted over the radio. "We'll be at a rest stop soon. It's time to vote, Team Democracy! Who will be our loser for today?"

Massachusetts rolled his eyes. "I think it's fair game with the voting," he muttered. "Nobody did _that_ poorly. It'll be a close vote."

**6:59 PM.**

Chris stood there, smiling, arms full of gas station snacks. "Isn't this _fun_?" he asked them with a broad grin. "I get to watch all of your teams slowly dwindle down. Heh! This is going to be interesting. When I call your name, you get a snack, and I tell you how many people voted for you, alright? If you get no snacks... you don't get to come back. _Ever_. I will begin. First off... Delaware, Maine, and Massachusetts! _Mentats for all_! No votes!"

The three contestants gratefully grabbed the snacks. Chris smiled mischievously, and then said, tossing out candy bars, "New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, and Vermont! Zero votes for all of you guys. Now... the rest of you..."

New York, Rhode Island, New Jersey, and Connecticut all remained. Chris waved three packs of Skittles in the air. "You all got at least one vote!" he announced.

There was a brief silence. New York looked angrily around.

"New Jersey! Here you go, man. One vote."

The leather jacketed young man caught the Skittles, looking down at the pavement. Chris smiled.

**t50sr_roadtrip_16_mp3**

"It was just me, New York, and Rhode Island. I was praying, freaking _praying_ that it was New York who was going home. I mean, he didn't, so... I guess I'm not very good at that sort of thing."

Connecticut

**7:01 PM.**

"New York! Two votes!"

Connecticut and Rhode Island exchanged horrified glances, eyes filling with tears. Massachusetts was just watching, jaw wide. Chris smiled broadly, and said, "Uh oh! One packet of Skittles... and two lovers. It's like Romeo and Juliet!"

_Oh, no..._

"The final snack goes to..."

_Oh, no, no, no... please..._

"to..."

_Just say it. Rhode Island, right? That means I'm going home. I deserve it, too-_

"Connecticut! Three votes."

Connecticut's expression froze, as Rhode Island's eyes watered up. "_No_!" he yelled. "You can't keep me on this show!"

"Yes, I can!" Chris decided, smiling. "You signed a contract! Rhode Island, sorry. No Skittles for you. Four votes. You're going home!"

Connecticut looked around, flustered, and looked towards Rhode Island. "This is my fault," he stammered. "I drew our team's attention to you. I screwed up our chances of winning. I'm the one who should be going home."

"No, you're not! Say goodbye, Rhode Island!"

Without so much as a wave, Rhode Island was pushed roughly by an Intern towards the awaiting taxi. "I-" she began, right as the car door slammed. Chris gave a friendly wave. "Thanks for playing!" he called after her, as the car drove off. "Come back soon! Just kidding. You're never going to be on this show again. Hahaha!"

Team Democracy was speechless, after experiencing their first voting ceremony. Nobody was safe from being voted off. Mess up once during the challenges... and you were going home.

**9:02 PM.**

The mood inside Team Democracy's bus was depressing, to be frank. They'd lost their first challenge, and hadn't even won a single one since they began. Connecticut seemed particularly upset; the sight of Rhode Island's now empty bunk brought him to choked tears. Massachusetts was just lying on the floor, looking up.

New York, sitting on the couch and reading a book, looked down at his fellow team member and asked, "Computer withdrawal?"

Massachusetts just gave a sad nod, to which New York sighed, and leaned forward, saying "Oh, and... you don't think there's any room for romance in this show, huh?"

The bespectacled teen, still lying on the floor, sat up, and looked at New York with bleary eyes. "I think the worst part is that Rhode Island didn't even do much wrong. She just told us to go to the zoo, which was a decent suggestion when you look at it objectively. I just... I dunno. We've got to start winning. Soon."

New York just sat on the couching, thinking, as Massachusetts sat beside him. "So," New York began, as Massachusetts glanced out the window.

"So?"

"So, are you interested in anyone on the team?"

Massachusetts sighed, and put his head in his hands. "Man, dude, not now. This is a day of mourning."

"Oh, come on, Massachusetts. You know that I think Pennsylvania's cute."

Connecticut walked in with dreary eyes, and flopped on the final seat of the couch, now surrounding Massachusetts. "You really want to know?" Massachusetts asked, doubt in his expression. New York grinned, and said, "Lay it on me, man."

"I'm bisexual."

New York blinked. "You're what?"

Connecticut looked over, as though he wasn't paying any attention. "What?"

"It means I like guys and girls."

New York stared off into the distance, and muttered, "Wow... that explains a lot, too..."

"What things? Massachusetts, what are you guys talking about?"

"That I'm bi."

"You're what?"

"It means I like-"

"Yeah, we get it," New York cut him off with his hand. "It's fine by me, Massachusetts, I don't judge. But my question still stands."

Massachusetts sighed, and looked up. "It really doesn't matter," he explained. "We've only been on this show for about two weeks, guys. I'd like to actually... you know, get to _know_ some of my teammates before getting into... um... romantic things. And, you know, it's not like it'd last. Sooner or later, one of us would get voted off."

New York leaned closer to Massachusetts, and muttered, "The fans love it."

"What?"

"They love the romantic things. They eat it up. When this episode airs next week, you can expect about a hundred Connecticut and Rhode Island fan fictions or whatever."

Connecticut looked up again. "Wait, what?"

"I'm telling you," New York concluded, "if you want to last on this show, you're going to have to pair up with somebody. Also, congratulations. Everybody back home knows that you're bisexual now."

Massachusetts rolled his eyes, and muttered, "They already knew that..."

"And now millions more people know it, too."

Massachusetts groaned, and let his head back. "You know, this is why I didn't want to tell you guys." New York looked satisfied, and leaned back. "Hey, it's just some friendly advice," he said, flashing a smile.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, and Rhode Island.


	6. A Minor Setback

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 5: A MINOR SETBACK**

_"Am I your friend?" - Oregon_

**Saturday, July 19th, 2014. Providence, Rhode Island. 6:10 AM.**

A sleepy sun rose over the eastern horizon. A two lane interstate sat vacant. And then, five tour buses soared by at excessive speeds.

Team America's bus. While the majority of its occupants were sound asleep, a few had already risen, eager to start the day's challenge early.

Wisconsin was sitting on the couch, looking out the window, and gazing at the passing trees. Kentucky and North Carolina were in the same room. North Carolina was doodling in her sketchbook, while Kentucky was... artistically digging at the interiors of his nostrils. Every few moments, North Carolina glanced up at Kentucky, and scooted away from him just slightly.

"I can predict who gets voted off!" Kentucky suddenly announced to the silent bus. Wisconsin glanced around, and dully muttered, "Is that so?"

Kentucky nodded erratically. "Today... Team... Touchdown is gonna lose, and Georgia'll be voted off."

North Carolina looked at him skeptically. "Uh huh. I recall you stating last week that Pennsylvania would be voted off."

The Kentuckian shook his head. "I didn't say that."

North Carolina appeared appalled, but didn't press the issue, contenting herself with just rolling her eyes and going back to drawing. At that moment, Indiana walked in, stretching with a sleepy gaze. "'Mornin'," she muttered. "You guys ready to lose finally?"

Wisconsin glanced at the bored looking girl. "What?"

Indiana shrugged, and opened a box of Poptarts. "All the other teams have lost. I figure it's our turn now."

The only person to react to that was Wisconsin, who turned around towards the window, mumbling, "Way to be optimistic."

**7:14 AM.**

The sun rises a little higher over the swaying treetops. Team Victory's bus, along with four others, slowly makes its way through the small state.

New Mexico sat on a kitchen stool, paging through a mountain biking catalog. "Man..." he mused, flipping through the pages. "This stuff is cool. I hope we get a biking challenge sometime..."

Washington looked up from his book. "Maybe," he mumbled. "I don't know what we could do for a state like Rhode Island, though... hm."

The tanned, sunglasses-wearing dude glanced up nervously. "Um, Washington... this is kind of random, but... you're good with girls, right?"

Washington blinked behind his glasses. "Um. No... no, you must have me confused with someone else. That's not really my realm of... expertise, if you know what I mean."

"Well, I'm... thinkin' of askin' out-"

"Who?" Oregon suddenly asked, walking in with just his boxers and a t-shirt. New Mexico averted his glance to somewhere else, but continued, "Um... Arizona. I... I really like her. She's nice. She stayed behind to help Alaska. And I've gotten to know her a little better, too... y'know, just over the past few days."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_17_mp3**

"I don't wanna go on and on about it... but I really like her. Arizona, that is. We've been talking a lot over the past few days... and... argh! She's so nice. Did you know she worked as a volunteer for the Phoenix Zoo taking care of monkeys? Seriously... how much nicer can you be than _that_? And her hair is so nice. It's orange... like the desert. I don't wanna be a creep or anything about it, though. I can't screw this up. I really felt a connection with her."

New Mexico

**7:17 AM.**

Washington's eyebrow was creeping higher and higher up his forehead, but Oregon had his hands clapped together with big eyes. "Oh my gosh..." he whispered. "You so should! Oh, she would love a guy like you. You should go for it, New Mexico. You'd be so cute together."

"You really think so?" he replied, to which Washington slowly shook his head. "I don't know, man. What if you two break up or something? It... just doesn't seem like a good idea."

New Mexico's heart could be seen plummeting to the floor. "Oh, don't listen to him, New Mexico," Oregon explained nervously. "Washington's probably never had a girlfriend before."

Washington let his gaze wander, and muttered, "Yeah, that's... _technically_ true..."

Oregon ignored him, and plowed on. "I think this team could use a cute couple. I bet the fans would love it. You two would be just perfect."

New Mexico had been nodding slowly, grin widening. "You know what? I think I will. I'm not sure when... but trust me, it'll happen. Thanks, Oregon."

The teen smiled in return, and said, "My pleasure. See, Washington? Couples _unite_ teams."

Washington just rolled his eyes, and just continued reading.

**9:52 AM.**

"Cont_eeessstaaants_!"

Forty-six weary teenagers piled out of five tour buses in the small city of Providence. Chris just stood there, smiling at them, holding his bullhorn at mouth level. "We've got a fun challenge ahead of us today!"

A few people outwardly groaned. Evidently, going from Alaska to Missouri and then all the way to Rhode Island had quite an effect on one's sleeping schedule. Chris frowned. "That's not the Total Drama spirit, now. Come on! This is going to be a fun challenge!"

Around fifty percent of the contestants just crossed their arms. "You know how Rhode Island is the smallest state, right?" Chris asked, grin growing wider. A few people nodded, looking skeptical. "Well... you guys are gonna run from one end to the other!"

There were just stares. And then, Kentucky burst out laughing, shouting loudly, "That's a _good_ one! Hahahahah!"

Chris's grin vanished. "It's about twenty miles from here to Connecticut!" he announced. "First team to get there wins. Everyone has to make it across the state line. This is a _marathon_, people! Across an entire state! Who's ready?"

Nobody did anything. Chris's frown deepened. "It's just an easy twenty miles from here to Connecticut. You guys _hav__e_ to do it, y'know. Just imagine the million dollar prize waiting for you! Now, on the sound of my gun, you guys are going to take off west, alright?"

A few contestants sighed resignedly. Nobody wanted to spend their day trekking across an entire state, but the million dollar prize _was_ taunting. "Get ready!" Chris shouted to the forty-six contestants. "Get set! Go-"

CRACK. The magnum fired off, the cue for everyone to take off. Some people began sprinting, while others took it at a light jog. "Remember to pace yourselves!" Michigan informed his team as he jogged ahead. "That's what this challenge is all about, I think. Just take it easy."

**10:06 AM.**

North Carolina and South Carolina were walking together, no longer bound by teams, and just chatting, when suddenly the blurred figure of Texas sprinted by. "Oh, my gosh!" they both cried. Texas was in the lead, that was for certain. Behind him, ran New Jersey, sprinting to keep up, Alabama, and Montana. It was certainly very close. "They're going to get tired out," South Carolina predicted, as she and her sister steadily made their way through the streets of Providence.

**10:17 AM.**

"Mind if we walk with you?" Washington asked New York, accompanied by Oregon as the three jogged through the suburbs of Providence, gaining stares as they ran by. "Not at all," New York said. "Especially since team boundaries apparently mean nothing for this challenge. How's your team?"

Washington smiled, and said, "Good, I think. We've got kind of a varied bunch. I guess you guys were the ones to just go through voting, huh?"

New York ran his hand through his hair, and muttered, "...yeah. It wasn't fun, especially considering Connecticut wanted to play match maker or whatever. But it's all good now. Wait... here he is now."

Connecticut and Massachusetts walked up to join them. "Hi," Washington greeted. "This is Washington and... Oregon, was it?" New York explained. "Washington, this is Massachusetts and Connecticut." The two newest teenagers nodded, smiling politely. Inter-team diplomacy was proving to be interesting. "Hi," Oregon stammered, nodding towards Team Democracy. "So," New York said, glancing at Oregon's tight purple t-shirt. "you two are... together...?"

Washington and Oregon glanced at each other. "Um, no," Washington hurriedly stated as Oregon avoided everyone's stares. "No, nothing like that." To that, New York nodded. "Got it. I guess you guys have picked up on the fact that this is a stamina challenge? Considering the fact that you two didn't immediately sprint off into the distance like most people."

Oregon smiled, and nodded. "Um, yeah. And besides, I don't think I would be able to keep up just... _running_ for, what, twenty miles? Washington says Team Touchdown is gonna lose."

New York nodded stiffly, and frowned. "I don't like them. I think they're idiots. Until a team merge happens or something, I don't want anything to do with them."

The five guys walked a few more moments in silence. And then, Connecticut spoke. "Um, do you guys think it's at all possible for contestants to get back on the show? Because on some Total Drama seasons, that happened."

Massachusetts pondered upon that for a few moments. "It's not unheard of. If Chris thinks bringing someone back into the game will boost ratings, then I'm positive he'd at least try. Why?"

"Oh. No reason."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_18_mp3**

"I... was just hoping Rhode Island could come back into the game. It's not impossible. Chris, if you're watching this, please make it happen. I will do anything. I mean... I barely know her, but... I dunno. I feel a lot more alone on this show now."_  
><em>

Connecticut

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_19_mp3**

"Ahahahaha! This kid is hilarious."

Chris

**11:11 AM.**

"March!" North Dakota ordered to her seven soldiers. South Dakota walked beside her, as the team marched through the farmlands outside Providence. The forty-six contestants were beginning to thin now, as people who couldn't keep up began to be left behind. Not from Team Dakota, however. Everyone marched in a straight line, heading west. "You are infantry!" she cried. "We are leading the march to Connecticut! You _must_ keep up. That includes _you_, Iowa! Stay in formation!"

"My legs are hurting!" he complained. North Dakota groaned. "Where's my thrall? Oklahoma!"

"Yes, Glorious Leader?" Oklahoma asked with a wavering voice. "Find me a long stick or something!" North Dakota ordered. "I need to hit Iowa with it."

A figure was growing closer in the distance ahead. "Quickly, pass this loser, team!" North Dakota said, excited. They were shocked to discover that it was Texas, who was drenched in sweat, and heaving heavily, with unfocused and bleary eyes. "I can't do it," he gasped, as Team Dakota marched onward. "You see, everyone?" North Dakota explained. "That's what happens when you don't pace yourself. Let Texas be a lesson to you. Keep up!"

**11:54 AM.**

The halfway mark. It was around noon by that time. A heavy New England summer sun beamed down on all of the contestants now. Most people were walking in groups now, regardless of teams. California, Arizona, South Carolina, North Carolina, and much of Team Touchdown's girls made up one such group, all fervently discussing the latest developments in the music industry when all of a sudden, Chris drove by in a golf cart. "Keep moving, girls!" he shouted, holding a bullhorn. "Chatting about deadbeat singers isn't going to get you a million dollars! It's going to make your team lose!"

He sped off. "Oh, my gosh, guys," Tennessee suddenly realized. "What if this challenge makes us get arthritis or something? Oh, my gosh, I don't think I could live with that."

She received sympathetic nods from many of her teammates. "Yeah, my feet are killing me," Georgia revealed. "I wish we could... like... take a car or something."

From the distance, a shout of, "You can't use vehicles for this challenge!" went up in the air from Chris's golf cart. The girls groaned. "Hey!" South Carolina yelped. "Who's that?"

A figure was in the distance, lying face down in a field of grass. The eight girls ran up to look. It was Montana, lying in the grass as though she were dead. "Oh, my god!" Mississippi cried. "I don't like bodies!"

Montana suddenly stirred. She was sweltering, with sweat running down her forehead in beady little drops. "Ugh..." she mumbled. "Oh... damn," Arizona whispered. "I think she's in trouble. Yo! Where's Chris?"

A few moments later, a golf cart rolled up. "What's up?" he asked, with a bored expression. Arizona pointed at Montana. "I think she ran too fast or something. She's in critical condition."

Chris looked just plain disgusted. "Ew. I'll get the Interns to get her to a hospital or something... I guess. Hospital bills aren't fun, you know."

The show's host cautiously loaded Montana's limp frame into his golf cart, and drove east.

**3:14 PM.**

It was around late afternoon near the Connecticut-Rhode Island state line. The first contestants were showing up; Michigan, Virginia, and Ohio arrived. "Welcome to Connecticut!" Chris shouted. "You guys are from Team America, huh? Well, if the other seven of you get here soon, you guys will-"

The sound of clomping shoes could be heard in the distance. Chris squinted, and peered over the fields to see nine tightly organized teenagers all marching in unison. "It looks like we have a winner!" Chris yelled, as Team Dakota approached. "That's everyone from Team Dakota! First place, you guys. Impressive work."

North Dakota bowed sweetly. "Thank you, Chris," she said. "All it takes is just some decent leadership."

Within a few more moments, the rest of Team America arrived, along with the group of girls. "Hey!" Louisiana suddenly yelped, glancing around. "Where's Texas and Alabama? I thought they'd be here by now."

"We passed them, remember?" Georgia responded, doubled over. "They'll be here soon."

It was over an hour before there was any sign of the runners who had sprinted off at the beginning, however. By five PM, everyone from Team Victory and Team Democracy had arrived except for Montana and New Jersey, respectively. Chris stood impatiently, as the teams mingled and everyone chatted. Suddenly, he pointed. "There they are!"

Texas appeared on the horizon, carrying Alabama in shaking, sweaty arms. "We... we made it!" he gasped, collapsing at the state line. Not far behind, New Jersey plodded closer. "That's everyone, isn't it?" Maine asked, running her fingers through her hair nervously. "Well..." Chris muttered, looking down at his chart of the teams. "Not everyone. Montana, um, sort of collapsed a little earlier. But that's okay! Because that means everyone except Team Victory wins!"

Cheers went up in the air. "Wait, what?" Hawaii cried. "Chris, yo, help us out here. Where is she?"

Chris shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just gave her to the Interns. Maybe they took her to a hospital or something. Anyways! Team Victory, you're on the chopping block tonight! That's the second time for you guys!"

Washington groaned. "This isn't fair. She's out of action. Can't that... I dunno, qualify as a forfeit on her part?"

Their host shook his head sadly, smiled a bright smile, and patted Washington on the head genially. "Nope! Into the buses, everyone!"

**4:01 PM.**

The air in Team Victory's bus was stiff. New Mexico was sitting on the couch with Hawaii, heads in their hands. "This bites," Hawaii muttered, to which New Mexico nodded his head sadly. "Yeah, man. We're the first team to lose twice."

Hawaii looked sadly at the floor. And then... his face grew bright. "Yo... how 'bout I don't vote for you, and you don't vote for me?"

New Mexico gave Hawaii a fist bump. "Deal. I wasn't gonna vote for you anyways, dude. But... man, who _should_ be voted out?"

Washington crept in, and headed straight for the microwave. "Yo! Washington!" Hawaii called. "Who do you think we should vote off?"

His hand was frozen on the Easy-Mac. "Um..." he stammered. "I'm not really sure. The obvious choice would be Montana, but... guys, she's really good at athletic stuff, and most of these challenges are physical, from what I've seen."

New Mexico looked around, eyes obscured by his shades. "Where is Montana, anyway?"

"In the hospital," Washington responded, pouring a packet of cheese into the Easy-Mac bowl. "Rhode Island Hospital. I'd hate to think about what happens if she's put out of action..."

Hawaii glanced around, and then leaned forward furtively, whispered, "Yeah, but... what if she _does_ get put out of action? We can't count on her being alright, bro. We gotta vote soon, anyways."

Arizona looked up. She had been sitting at the kitchen table the entire time, unnoticed by the others. "It wasn't her fault that she collapsed like that," she explained. "If anything, we should be trying to help her to get well again."

"I have to agree," New Mexico immediately stated, looking over at Arizona, who smiled appreciatively. Hawaii rolled his eyes, as the microwave timer went off.

**7:00 PM.**

"Having a good Saturday, campers?" Chris teased, as the occupants of Team Victory's bus cautiously climbed out into the parking lot of a gas station near the border of Connecticut. "You guys know how this works," their host continued. "I call your name, you get snacks, everyone's happy except one person, who will be leaving and never returning. Ever. Joining us, finally, is... Montana!"

Montana climbed out of the back of an ambulance, looking a little pale but otherwise fine. She smiled nervously, and sat down on the pavement with everyone else. "I will begin!" Chris yelled, smiling. "In rapid fire succession this time! Arizona, California, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico! You five can share this bag of candy. Zero votes for all of you guys!"

A heavy bag of assorted candy was tossed into the hands of New Mexico. Chris smiled maliciously, and turned to the remaining four contestants: Oregon, Hawaii, Washington, and Montana. "All of _you_ guys..." he began, "...got at least one vote. Time for the drama."

Chris proceeded to stand there for approximately five seconds, holding three individual Kit Kats. "Hawaii!" he declared. "One vote, man. Here you go."

Hawaii caught it gratefully, leaving only Oregon, Washington, and Montana. Oregon's eyes were watering up, as Chris just stood there, smiling. "Washington! You get the penultimate Kit Kat! Just one vote, man. Haha! This is fun."

It was down to just Oregon and Montana. Oregon was glancing around, terrified, evidently wondering why anyone would have voted for him. Montana didn't look surprised that she was one of the last two. "The final Kit Kat goes to..." Chris began tauntingly.

"Oregon! One vote for you, dude. I was just kidding."

Oregon sighed visibly, leaving Montana devoid of any candy. "Sorry, Montana," Chris said, shrugging. "You got like six votes. You're going home. The Cab for the losers awaits."

Montana stood up, glaring at everyone. It seemed that she was not angry at her teammates for voting her off, but she was more angry at the fact that she was the fifth person on the entire show to be voted off. As she walked off towards the taxi, she yelled, "You guys might want to think of having a name change! Team Victory isn't so fitting anymore."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_20_mp3**

"Am I surprised I got voted off? No. I don't really think so. I actually _tried_ out there, and what does that get me? A face full of mud and a hospital bill for my parents. I think I'm most pissed that I was the fifth person booted off this show, out of, like, what, fifty? And I know I'm better than some of those losers on the other teams. Anyways. It's been fun."

Montana

**7:04 PM.**

Chris just smiled at her as she walked past, amused. "Well! Eight more contestants on this team," he reminded the remaining contestants. "Who will be the next to go down? Find out next Wednesday! The excitement! The drama! The commercialization of fifty teenagers' dreams! Hahahaha! Oh, god, I love this job."

**8:30 PM.**

"This is literal hell," Oregon groaned to himself from the interior of Team Victory's bus. Washington glanced over at him, while New Mexico just resumed making nachos. "Like... one by one, we get voted off," Oregon elaborated. "It's terrible. Do you know my odds of winning? They're like... one in fifty. What percentage is that, Washington?"

"Two percent."

"Right. That's like a ninety-eight percent chance of me getting kicked off this show. I mean, I try to be optimistic about... well... _everything_, but this... it's dehumanizing."

Washington nodded, staring up at the ceiling. "I know what you mean," he mumbled. "I think the reason she got voted off was that she didn't really... have any friends. Nobody really felt obliged to protect her, y'know?"

Oregon nodded slowly at that. "I... almost got voted off tonight. That could have been me." Washington scoffed at this, laughing. "She had six votes. You had one. I think Chris just wanted to get you riled up or whatever."

Oregon appeared disappointed. "So... to win at this, you're supposed to have friends to back you up, right?"

"Mm-hmm."

...

"Am I your friend?"

Washington looked over at Oregon, and hesitated. "Um. Yeah, you are. New Mexico's my friend, too,"

New Mexico smiled down at Washington. "Don't worry, guys," he declared, confidence radiating off of him, "we'll definitely win the next one. Just a minor setback, that's all."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, and Montana.


	7. Risk

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 6: RISK**

_"I _will_ find the perpetrator among you people. And it's not going to be pretty when I do." - North Dakota_

**Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014. Glacier National Park, Montana. 8:12 AM.**

The five buses slowly made their way through the Rocky Mountains in northern Montana. Ten percent of the contestants had already been voted off, and it had been around two and a half weeks. However, no longer was the atmosphere in the buses stiff, and awkward; people had begun to finally get to know their fellow teammates.

In Team Democracy's bus, you could find Massachusetts, Maine, and Connecticut playing board games, since "there's nothing else to do around here, anyways."

In Team Touchdown's bus, chances are, Alabama and Texas would be debating the upcoming 2014 football schedule, while the girls either sat around chatting, or avoiding each other completely.

In Team Dakota's bus, North Dakota might be getting her nails done, or reading a magazine. Everyone else on that team doesn't matter; why would they?

In Team Victory's bus, board games were played, books were read, and people generally had a good time getting to know each other. California demonstrated the multiple uses of nail polish remover, and New Mexico played ping pong with the wall.

Not much happened in Team America's bus. Most of its occupants were too timid to take up conversation, and those that weren't... tended to act out _too_ much.

"West Virginia!" Virginia yelled one morning. "Little man. Stop it. You don't need to disinfect my bed."

The red headed kid looked up, evidently surprised. "Oh! Hi, Virginia! Good morning! Don't worry, this is non-toxic disinfectant! For you, anyways. _HEH!_"

Virginia glared at him. "I'mma count to five, and you'd better be outta this room or I _swear_ I'll kick you right off this bus. One."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_21_mp3**

"From my time on this show so far, I've learned that Virginia is a really tough nut to crack! I've used the three P's, though! Pursue, Politeness, and Persistence! Emphasis on the persistence, _HEH_! I just know me and her are going to the top two. We've got skills!"

West Virginia

**8:14 AM.**

"I'm going! _I'm going_!"

West Virginia was literally thrown out the door of Virginia's bunk room. "I'm warnin' you, little dude," she muttered, glaring at him. "You keep away from me. I've just about had it with you. Alright?"

The kid looked up at Virginia with big eyes. "But, I-" he began, only to be cut off by the door slamming right in front of him.

**9:30 AM.**

"Looks cool out there, doesn't it? Like something from Skyrim..." Connecticut mentioned, staring out the fogged window of Team Democracy's bus. Outside, tall, snow capped mountains dominated the scene. Four teenagers sat at the kitchen table, playing Risk: Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Maine. "Your move," Massachusetts mumbled, glancing up at Connecticut, who asked, "Oh. How many troops do I get this round, again?"

"Seven," Maine informed him. The troops were placed in the majority of Africa, which was the base of his operations. "Okay..." Connecticut murmured, looking around the board. "Alright... my Egypt attacks your Middle East, Maine."

They rolled, only to discover that Connecticut had lost that battle. Smiling satisfactorily, Maine scooped up a few of his troops, and put them back in the box. Connecticut groaned, and looked out the window again. "I'm bored. When do you guys think we'll get there?"

Massachusetts glanced out the window, as Vermont placed down troops in Australia. "I dunno," Massachusetts responded. "Chris said we're going to 'Glacier National Park'. Any of you guys want a Hot Pocket? I'm thinking of heating up some right now."

"I'll take one," Connecticut called out. "Do you want me to move for you, Massachusetts?"

Massachusetts just nodded, handling the plastic wrappers carefully. At that moment, New York walked in, still wearing his pajamas, and yawning. "Mornin'," he greeted, sitting down on the couch. "You guys ready for today's challenge?"

Maine glanced upwards. "Y'know, I bet we're gonna have to-"

The bus suddenly slammed to a stop, throwing everyone onto the floor as a horrible, gut wrenching sound of twisted metal could be heard. The Risk board game was all over the floor now. Connecticut looked up cautiously from his uncomfortable position on the ground, and called out, "What happened?!"

New York stood up carefully, as the rest of Team Democracy crept into the living quarters. "Oh, god, we hit a fallen tree," he muttered, looking out the front window. Their driver, a college intern, had already gotten out, and was inspecting the damage.

**9:42 AM.**

Chris stood in front of forty-five teenagers in the foggy lower reaches of Glacier National Park. "Good morning, contestants," he yelled, although his expression was more of a scowl than his famous grin. "Due to recent events, we're having our schedule changed... and one of our drivers fired."

Everyone shifted around uncomfortably. Team Democracy's bus, leading the other four buses, had hit a fallen tree, and was smoking slightly from the grill. "We're going to go camping!" Chris McLean announced, surveying the contestants. "Each team has the task of going out to their individual destinations, sleeping there for the night, and then returning by eight AM sharp tomorrow. However... if you leave anybody behind, or don't make it to your campsite, your team goes to voting. If nobody is left behind, and you all make it here by eight, then this has the potential to be a no-vote challenge! Hahaha! Yeah. As if _all_ of you guys'll make it here by eight. Anyways! You guys wanna know the catch?"

A few people nodded cautiously, as Chris grinned maliciously at them. "You guys don't get any supplies!" he announced. "You must find your own food, make your own shelter, and _make it through the night_. Sound like fun?"

California shuddered involuntarily at the thought. A few people glanced around at each other warily. Chris unrolled a few sheets of paper, and tossed one to each team. "This is a map to your destination!" he yelled. "Each team has a different camp site. We've got hidden cameras there, just to make sure you actually go to the right place. Alright?"

Everyone stood there for a few moments, doing nothing. "What are you guys waiting for?" Chris yelled, waving his arms and grinning. "Go! I'll see you guys here at eight AM sharp."

North Dakota groaned, and grabbed her team's map. "Where are we going?" she asked. "South Dakota. Look at it. Tell me where we're going."

South Dakota timidly took it, eyeing her sister. "Um... it looks like we're on a mountain east of here... Chris, where are we on this map?"

Chris shrugged, smiling. "I dunno. Figure it out. It's not that hard."

Massachusetts tapped the map. "Right there!" he informed his team, pointing at a yellow road on the map. "This is us. Somewhere along this road. Now... our campsite is west of here. Which way is west?"

New York pointed behind Massachusetts. "Since the sun is up there, and it's morning, west should be the opposite direction," he reasoned. "And the map says we're on a river or something, so we can just follow that once we find it."

With that, Team Democracy ran off into the forest. "Isn't it more important that we find food and stuff first?" New Mexico cautiously reminded his team. "Like, we got a full day 'til we need to be back here. We can't get tired out an' hungry before we even get there. Let's focus on that first."

The four remaining teams began debating furiously over where they were on their maps, and where their campsites were relative to their current positions. Amid the yelling, North Dakota shouted, "Team, we're going this way. I don't care whether or not you guys think it's a good idea, because it is. Go."

Team Dakota resignedly marched off in a general eastern direction. Most of the other teams weren't entirely sure where they were on the map, but all eventually agreed on a single direction to go.

**10:11 AM.**

Ten AM. Team Dakota walked through the forest at a quick pace up the mountain. After a few minutes of silent marching, Utah stammered, "Um... can we stop to rest and figure out where we are?"

North Dakota glared at him. "No speaking unless spoken to. Have you completely forgotten the five laws of this team?"

**1. No speaking unless spoken to by either North Dakota or South Dakota.**

**2. All members of Team Dakota are to remain in their bunk rooms unless given permission to leave.**

**3. If you are told by North Dakota to vote off a certain teammate, then not doing so is treason against the team.**

**4. No conversing with any members of the other teams.**

**5. The breaking of any of these laws is an immediate vote-off.**

Utah shook his head sadly, and looked back down at the ground. North Dakota looked satisfied, and then asked her sister, "How much farther?"

South Dakota frowned, looking at the map. "I'm not sure. It's supposed to be right around here, but this mountain is a lot taller than I was expecting."

North Dakota scowled, and looked up at the sky, letting her beautiful black hair rest on her shoulders. "Hmm," she mused. "It looks like it's going to rain soon."

**12:21 PM.**

"C'mon! Let's _go_!" New York shouted to his teammates in a horrible rainstorm, holding his hands over his head. "The river's around here somewhere. We can make a shelter once we get there!"

Connecticut slipped, falling into the mud. "Ugh..." he muttered, wiping his shirt free of the sludge. "This is disgusting. I maintain my viewpoint that Chris is an asshole."

Massachusetts nodded, grinning at that. "You'd bet I'm with you on that, man. I think Chris _knew_ it was gonna rain today."

"Over there!" Delaware suddenly shouted, pointing at a clearing near a roaring river. "I think that's our spot!"

**2:59 PM.**

Three PM. Team Victory.

Oregon sat down resignedly on the rough forest floor, ringing out his clothes. "This is the spot, huh?" he asked, out of breath. Washington nodded in reply, picking up sticks. "Shoot..." he muttered. "This wood is too wet to burn. New Mexico! Try to find wood that was sheltered from the rain."

A few moments later, a shout from outside the clearing called, "Can't find any! This stuff is mucky."

Washington sighed. "Maybe we can set out a bunch of wood to dry before nightfall or something. Does anyone here know how to start a fire?"

Hawaii raised his hand, looking up. "I know how. It takes a little time, but if you've got enough dry wood, it's easy."

He received a wide smile in reply from Washington. "Fabulous. We've found our camp location. Now we just need to survive the night. Who wants to go with me hunting for a rabbit or something?"

Nobody volunteered. California looked slightly disgusted. "Can't we have, like, salad or something?" she inquired. Washington shook his head stiffly. "Um, no. We can't, unless you're willing to eat a bunch of random leaves from the trees. Nobody wants to come with me?"

Oregon sighed, and stood up. "I'll go with you," he announced. "It would suck if you fell down a cliff or something and broke your leg."

"Come on, then. I've got a sharp stick right here. Let's go."

**5:20 PM.**

Five PM. Team Touchdown.

The nine team members all sat around a roaring fire as the crickets chirped around them. Two frogs and a rabbit were roasting above the fire, impaled by a long, thin stick that Alabama was turning. "This is terrific," Arkansas complimented, chowing down on a rabbit leg. Florida nodded. "I never thought I'd say this," she managed to get out between bites, "but y'all are actually good at something for once. Want some?"

Florida offered South Carolina the remainder of her frog leg, which she turned down with a strained face. "Um. No thank you. I don't want to eat animals like that."

"It's good!" Texas told her, getting the rest of the slightly damp firewood ready. "You'll be hungry tonight. How's the shelter comin', y'all?"

Louisiana, Tennessee, and Georgia had all been assigned the task of constructing a stable, rainproof shelter. "Um..." Tennessee stammered. "Not so good. It keeps... falling? I can't get it to stand up straight. Oh, my gosh, I see a lizard."

Alabama approached, peering down at Tennessee's feet. "Huh. Y'all think it's edible?" he asked, squinting at it. South Carolina moaned at that, and laid on her back.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_22_mp3**

"That was one of the most fun challenges I've done so far on this show. Like, seriously? We got to go _huntin'_. I'd like to see them northerners try that. An' we got to eat _frogs_! Better than... Poptarts, or whatever we've been eatin' for the past few weeks. Y'know, it's good to get some protein, y'all."

Alabama

**6:12 PM.**

Six PM. Oregon and Washington crept through the darkening forest, glancing around warily at whatever might jump out of the shadows. "See anything?" Washington whispered, glancing around. Oregon shook his head, terrified. "If I die," he whispered, "and you survive, tell my family I love them."

Washington looked skeptical, and armed his sharpened stick a little higher at the darkness. "We'll be fine, don't worry. Just trust me, alright? Just... think about everyone's faces when we get back, holding a rabbit or a fox or something. I can assure you that you'll be a hero, man."

Oregon's face lit up a little more at that. "Hmm. I guess so. I just... I just _hate_ the dark. It's terrifying."

Washington glanced at his companion, and said, "Well, okay... just think about when we get back, Hawaii will have made that campfire. Think of how warm that'll be. Stay with me, here. If we just catch an animal off guard, we can definitely get it."

Suddenly, Oregon pointed off through a gap in the trees. "Look!" he whispered. "I see something. It looks big."

Washington squinted. "Okay. I'll use the spear on it, alright? It's got a little rock on it that might stun it or stab it or something."

The bespectacled teen threw the spear with all his might, which slammed into the hulking, furry mass. It rose, and Oregon's eyes went huge. "Oh, my god. That can't be... it... is that a _bear_?!"

"JUST _RUN._"

**7:11 PM.**

Seven PM. Team Dakota's team, marching tiredly through the forest. It was growing very dark now, matching North Dakota's shortening patience.

"South Dakota. Where are we? You said we took the right turn."

"I thought we did!" she yelled, glancing over the map. "There's not many landmarks on this thing! Our campsite is somewhere along the mountainside. Where _are_ we?"

The nine teenagers all stopped, looking around terrified at the woods around them. "I don't like this at all," Iowa muttered, staring around at the darkness with huge eyes. North Dakota glared at him, and then yelled, "Well, what do you want me to do about it? We can't have been the _only_ team that never found their campsite."

South Dakota yawned, and looked at the leaf-strewn forest floor. "Maybe we could just camp here," she reasoned, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "We've been walking around for the entire day. We could just... I don't know, get our rest, and then find our campsite."

North Dakota sighed at her sister, and sat down on the ground. "Okay, fine. Does anyone here know how to make a fire? If you do, I can assure you that you won't be voted off anytime soon."

Nobody volunteered, despite the tempting incentive. The moon began to dip below the horizon, a slight waning crescent that only dampened their spirits. It was starting to get late.

**8:01 PM.**

"Well, this isn't so bad, right?" Michigan asked, sitting around a dying campfire with his nine other teammates in the middle of the woods. Ohio shook his head slowly, and rubbed his eyes. "You're wrong on that. We don't have any food _or_ shelter."

Michigan sighed, but pointed out, "But we _are_ at our campsite. And it's not like we... _need_ food and shelter to win the challenge. All we need to do is to get back to Chris at eight AM tomorrow."

Ohio glanced at Michigan. "Sounds a little too optimistic. Do we even know where we are? I wouldn't be surprised if we got lost before even reaching Chris."

A scoff came from Michigan. "Don't worry, Ohio. We'll make it. No need for so much pessimism."

Kentucky had his hands full of berries that he'd picked. A few people were glancing at it, but didn't seem willing to try the random berries. "You guys sure you don't want any?" he asked, mouth full. "Because they're good! I don't know what kind they are, but they're good! They kind of taste like _figs_."

Virginia wrinkled her nose at that. "Um, nah, Kentucky, you can keep 'em. I'm just ready to get this challenge _over_ with."

**9:48 PM.**

Nine PM. The middle of the woods.

Oregon and Washington were sitting up on a tree limb, dangling precariously over a rather pissed off bear. Oregon kept glancing nervously below them, while Washington was lying on a branch against the trunk, eyes closed, as if trying to sleep. "I'm telling you," Oregon whispered, "it's not just going to go away. Those bears are patient. We can just... we can take him out, both of us. You can make another spear or something, and I'll make a lot of noise, and-"

Washington was just shaking his head. "No. We wait. And I don't think I can take out a giant bear like that on my own, dude. There's too much _risk_. In a situation like this, you wait for your enemy to slip up. To fall asleep, in this case. Now, try and get some rest. I'll protect you."

Oregon continued glancing fearfully at the bear, which was pacing around the tree, growling softly.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_22_mp3**

"Oh, my gawd, that was one of the most terrifying and uncomfortable nights I've ever had. My clothes got so dirty. I thought I was going to die. I thought Washington was going to die. And if we didn't die, I knew that we'd be voted off regardless. Probably me, since I'm not useful to our team in any way."

Oregon

**11:25 PM.**

Eleven PM. Team Victory's camp.

Hawaii had since gotten a fire started, but everyone was sitting around, stomachs growling. "I'm tellin' you guys," New Mexico pressed on, "they got lost or something. We need to send out a rescue party, or else our team is gonna lose."

Arizona nodded a stiff agreement to that. "What if Washington's injured or something?" she asked. "You guys don't expect Oregon to patch him up, do you? I mean, he's a sweet kid, but I'm not sure if he'd be up to that. They could both be in danger."

Hawaii groaned, and rolled over on his pile of leaves. "Or, they could be hauling a giant deer or something back for us. If we send people out to rescue them, those people could get lost, or worse. They're probably on their way back right now."

**3:43 AM.**

Three AM. The middle of the woods.

Oregon was sitting on a tree branch, sleeping peacefully. Washington was keeping a close eye on the bear below, but fighting back the sleep. His position was uncomfortable, to say the least. Every few minutes, Washington had to stop Oregon from just rolling straight out of the tree. He squinted below, and then suddenly nudged Oregon awake, who didn't seem too pleased.

"...what? What is it?"

"Look. The bear. It's asleep."

The hulking mass of fur was indeed lying down below their tree. It produced heavy, slow breathing, and showed every sign of being sound asleep. Oregon was wide awake now, and grabbed onto Washington's arm. "We're not really going to sneak down now, are we?" he whispered, looking down at the bear. "I don't think we have a choice," Washington responded, already stealthily climbing down. "It's either this, or we get voted off. C'mon. Just don't make noise."

A few labored minutes went by, in which Washington and Oregon cautiously climbed down ten feet to the forest floor. Indeed, the bear seemed completely out of it, but any false step, and certain death was inevitable. A minute later, and Washington carefully stepped down onto the ground, cautiously stepping away from the bear. Oregon followed, after almost falling, and the two crept away, right when-

SNAP. Oregon stepped on a twig, and the ensuing noise surprised him, sending him toppling to the forest floor roughly. "Oh, _fff_... get up! Get up!" Washington urged him, when the bear awoke, looking angry as ever. "Hurry!" Washington yelped, pulling a terrified Oregon up. "Come on!_ Run_!"

**4:13 AM.**

Four AM. Team Democracy's camp.

The fire had since died out, but the nine campers had all enjoyed a meal of cooked fish from the river. The shelters they had constructed were sturdy; Vermont had a unique knack for that sort of thing, apparently. Most of the campers were in a fitful half-sleep, but Connecticut lifted his head from the bed of leaves. He glanced around; he was sharing his shelter with Massachusetts, Vermont, and Delaware. "I gotta pee," he whispered. Massachusetts lifted his head groggily, and muttered, "Go, then. There's nothing out there that can hurt you. No risk."

Cautiously, Connecticut rose, and climbed out of his shelter. To the east, the sky began to brighten, as Connecticut tromped off away from the tents to pee hurriedly, right when a feminine yelp rose from the trees in the distance. Connecticut squinted into the darkness. "Who's there?" he called.

Two teenagers came sprinting into their camp, startling everybody who wasn't sound asleep. "Agh! Who the hell are you guys?" New York shouted, coming out of his tent, and glaring angrily at the two contestants. Oregon and Washington, looking utterly terrified to see this many people at once. "Ohhh, no," Washington gasped, staring around at the nine team members of Team Democracy. "Oh no. No, no, no, this can't be happening. Get _everyone up a tree! Right no_-"

The roar of a bear came from not far off, startling everyone. "Oh, _shit_!" New York screamed. "Everyone! _Up a tree_! _Now_!"

Everyone sprang into action, quickly scurrying up the nearest pine tree. A huge black bear burst into the clearing, roaring deafeningly at the eleven teenagers, who were terrified out of their wits. Within seconds, everyone was just out of reach from the bear, just in time.

**4:15 AM.**

Chris, in his bathrobe, sat in a large green tent, munching on some potato chips and squinting at a set of TV monitors. "Hmm," he mused, looking up. "Yo! Intern! You think it's a good idea to have all those kids in the middle of the woods like this?"

A college intern looked up at Chris with a terrified expression, and shrugged in response. Chris turned his attention to the display once more, and laughed at Team Democracy's monitor. "Ohhh, man. It's a good thing I've got forty-five waivers right here. This is hilarious."

**4:16 AM.**

"What do we _do_?!" Pennsylvania screamed, hanging onto a tree limb with her life. Massachusetts appeared terrified, and elected to just climb higher up the pine tree. "This is _your fault_!" New York shouted at Washington and Oregon. "These two idiots from Team 'Victory' brought it here!"

"I'm _sorry_!" Oregon wailed, tears in his eyes, while Washington just looked annoyed. "We almost died, New York!" he yelled. "I didn't mean to come here! We were looking for Chris!"

New York groaned, and rolled his eyes. "Well, _fantastic work_, then. Good job. Because now we're _all gonna die_!"

"Wait!" Maine suddenly shouted, pointing at New Jersey. "He's got a matchbox! Don't you?"

New Jersey, who up until this point had just been hugging the tree with a horrified expression, looked confused. "I... I do, in my pocket, but I don't see why-"

"Give it here!" Maine yelled, and New Jersey tossed her the package of matches. She lit one, and said, "Bears hate smoke, and fire! If I light this box on fire, and then throw it down at it, it should go away!"

New York, still staring angrily at Washington, gave an exasperated shrug, and said, "Okay! Try it, Maine."

Maine dropped the lit match into the box, which promptly burst into flames in her hands. She shrieked, and dropped it, letting it fall onto the bear's head. It roared, swiped at its head, and tromped off into the woods. A few moments passed, where New York held a finger to his lips, listening out for the bear's receding roars. "I think it's gone!" he whispered, and hopped down on to the ground. "We need to get out of here," Massachusetts whispered, landing onto a bed of leaves cautiously. He continued, "It's almost morning, anyways. Come on. The road is east of here. Washington, Oregon," he turned on the two, "I like you guys, so you can come with us. Just don't expect us to coddle you two or anything, alright?"

Oregon nodded stiffly, eyes puffy, while New York glared at Massachusetts. "They were the ones to get us in this mess!" he yelled. "We leave them behind. They abandoned their team, anyways."

Massachusetts crossed his arms, and put on a stout expression. "They could die if they get left out here like that. You're not seriously expecting me to advocate people _dying_, are you? Besides... we _like_ their team. Remember? If we have to merge with a team... _we merge with theirs_."

New York evidently remembered a previous conversation, and sighed defeatedly. "Okay. Okay, fine. Sorry about earlier, Washington."

Washington didn't look impressed, but accepted the sentiment regardless. "It's okay. We were all scared. Now come on. I don't want to have to wait for that damned bear to come back."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_23_mp3**

"I sort of lost it there, but... still. I don't appreciate it when a different team tries to sabotage _my_ own."

New York

**7:11 AM.**

Seven AM. Team Victory, Team America, and Team Touchdown had almost all returned to the buses, except for Washington and Oregon. Chris was just standing there, grinning mischievously at the teenagers.

"Come on, Chris!" New Mexico proclaimed, on his knees in a pseudo-serious pose to get Chris's attention. "Just tell us where they are! Surely _you_ know."

Chris smiled at him, and shook his head silently. New Mexico sighed, and yelled, "Please, Chris! I... your TV shows are amazing! I've watched all your interviews! You're the most handsome and intelligent television host in North America! C'mon, I'm begging you here!"

Chris McLean nodded at him. "I have to agree with all of those statements. However, my lips are sealed, and so is the fate of your two missing teammates."

New Mexico let his head fall. "Well, that's it, then," he groaned. "We lost. _Again_. Forever, we will mourn the deaths of our two beloved team members: Washington and Ore-"

"We're here!" Oregon cried, running alongside Washington. Behind the two, Team Democracy tromped forwards. "_Yes_!" Hawaii cheered, jumping up and down. "They made it! What happened?"

"It's a long, long story," Washington gasped, panting. "It involves a bear. Are we the last team to get here?"

"Not quite!" Chris announced. "Team Dakota has yet to arrive. However, the four teams that _have_ made it here, nice going! You all made it to your campsites, and made it back here by eight!"

"Wait," Washington suddenly said, "Oregon and I didn't sleep at our campsites. That's okay?"

Chris nodded. "The only thing your team had to satisfy was that every member actually _made _it to the site, and back by here at eight. Oh, here they come now!"

From the depths of the woods, Team Dakota approached. Everyone was dirty, tired, and had the bleary stare of sleep deprivation in their eyes. "We made it..." North Dakota announced, gasping for air. "We made it. Finally. It's not even eight yet. No voting."

"That's where you're wrong, North Dakota," Chris declared, winking. "_You_ guys... never actually made it to your camp grounds. You slept in the middle of the woods about half a mile away from it. You nine never even came close. Which means... Team Dakota is the only team that goes through voting today! I knew this would happen."

Oregon breathed a sigh of relief, and collapsed on the pavement. "Oh, thank gawd," he muttered, wiping the dirt off of his form-fitting purple t-shirt. "No voting for us today. That's... that's nice."

Chris smiled his pearly whites, and waved. "Into the buses, people!" he announced. "This was a fun episode! I'll see you guys at the voting ceremony, Team Dakota!"

North Dakota groaned, running her hands through her hair. "Damn it," she muttered.

**11:12 AM.**

"Alright, who do we vote off this time?"

North Dakota and South Dakota stood alone in the middle of the living room of the rumbling bus. The hilly landscape flew by, but it went unnoticed by the churning of North Dakota's mind. "Um..." South Dakota stammered, thinking. "Apart from you and I, there's seven options."

"I don't like Iowa that much," North Dakota admitted, thinking to herself. "He complains a lot, and broke the laws."

South Dakota sighed at her sister, and mumbled, "Well... I mean, I guess we _can_ vote him off... do you want me to go tell everybody?"

North Dakota nodded. "Make sure they understand that if they _don't_ vote for Iowa, they're next on the list." she called.

**7:04 PM.**

The nine team members of Team Dakota all sat on the pavement around Chris in a parking lot right outside the entrance to Glacier National Park. Out of the nine, Iowa looked the most terrified, glancing around fearfully at his teammates. North Dakota appeared confident. "Good evening, Team Dakota!" Chris yelled, holding a bag of candy. "I've got cheap convenience store candy for you guys today. I'll just toss a handful to those who're staying in the game, alright? You guys know how this works. If you don't get candy, you have to leave, and you can _never_ come back! I'll begin..."

"Colorado! Kansas! Minnesota! Nebraska! Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah! _No votes_!"

A shower of candies rained upon the seven announced contestants. Only North Dakota and Iowa remained. North Dakota rolled her eyes, as if predicting this would happen. There were tears streaming down Iowa's face. Chris almost looked as if he pitied Iowa. "Um... the final candy goes to..." he muttered, avoiding eye contact with Iowa.

...

"North Dakota. Two votes."

"_Two_ votes?"

North Dakota turned to face her team angrily. "I understand Iowa voting for me," she yelled. "But _two_ votes? Which one of you voted for me? Well?"

Iowa stood, as Chris clapped a hand to his back. "Sorry, Iowa!" he said, looking almost concerned. "Your cab awaits. You got seven votes. Buh-bye!"

The kid walked shamefully to the taxi, trying to hide the fact that he was crying. North Dakota just stood and glared at her team. "I'm not impressed," she whispered harshly, looking at everyone in the eyes. "Not impressed at all. I _will_ find the perpetrator among you people. And it's not going to be pretty when I do."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, and Iowa.

**aspiringAnimator - **Whoa! I was _not_ expecting this chapter to be this long. Five thousand words? That's the longest yet! We're already about one tenth of the way done. This is a long fic (and I kick myself for jumping into one this long) but it's certainly something I can handle, as so far I always finish chapters several days beforehand. Updates are still Wednesdays and weekends (usually Saturdays).

Who are _you _rooting for in this story? Vote at my profile! There's a poll at the top of the page. This helps me gauge which characters are the fan favorites, and also lets me know which characters I need to flesh out more. Thanks for reading! And welcome to the author's note, in which I get you guys up to date on things. I wasn't planning on making author's notes, as I think it looks not very pretty, but it's necessary sometimes. Make sure to follow, favorite, and review! It does mean a lot to me.


	8. Gotta Go Fast

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 7: GOTTA GO FAST**

_"How does it feel to have already lost two challenges when Team America's lost zero?" - Chris_

**Saturday, July 26th, 2014. Cedar Rapids, Iowa. 7:52 AM.**

"It's so... _flat_ out there..."

Virginia gazed out the windows of Team Democracy's bus. Indeed, outside, flat farmlands seemed to extend as far as the eye could see. Ohio, sitting on the couch, glanced out the window. "It really is," he admitted. "You can, like... see the horizon off in the distance. It's weird."

Virginia nodded slowly to that, right as Maryland walked in the room. "The toilet's clogged," she said with a wrinkled nose. "Who did it?"

Ohio and Virginia exchanged glances. "Not us," Ohio decided. Virginia rolled her eyes, and resumed gazing out the window. "Maybe Kentucky did it," she muttered. "He's a weird one. It'd be just like him. Oh," she added, as Maryland was about to retreat to the bunk rooms, "don't ask him if he did it or not. He'll just deny it."

"I'll take note of that," Maryland deadpanned, and headed into the back of the bus.

**8:17 AM.**

"You ever worked on a farm, Al?" Texas asked a drowsy Alabama, who was glancing over the back of a football magazine. Alabama shook his head. "I told you. I'm from the city. I ain't never worked on no farm."

"Oh," Texas muttered, looking out the windows of the bus. "I figured, y'know, since you're from Bama an' all. Like, they got them cotton farms over there."

Alabama frowned. "Nah, man, not everywhere. There's a lot of corn, I'll tell you that."

"I bet Mississippi's worked on a farm," Texas suggested, walking over to the microwave. "I know you've got a thing for her, dude. Y'all were gazin' into each other's eyes. It was real romant-"

Alabama blushed furiously. "Shut up, Tex!" he yelled. "Damn, dude. I think you're just mad, 'cause no girl's got the hots for you. You gay or somethin'?"

Texas whipped around, brandishing a box of Cheerios. "I ain't a faggot," he said sternly. A set of eyebrows raised from Alabama. "Whatever, dude," he muttered, flipping the page of his magazine. "As long as you ain't got the hots for me."

Texas's fists were curled up, right when Mississippi walked into the room, holding an empty bottle of root beer. "Hey, y'all," she greeted, dropping the bottle into the trash can. Texas saw his moment, and loudly stated, "Oh, Mississippi, I think Alabama had somethin' he wanted to say to you."

Glares were thrown from Alabama. "Oh, uh, nah, it's nothin'," Texas nudged his friend, and continued, "Nah, you were just tellin' me! Go on, tell her."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_24_mp3**

"Alright, Tex is my friend an' all, but he goes over the edge sometimes. Know what I mean? Like, that whole thing with, um... Mississippi? Not cool. Dude makes a big fuss 'bout everything. Now, I'd _gladly_ have him as my friend over most of them string bean dudes from the other teams, don't get me wrong."

Alabama

**8:20 AM.**

"I, uh..." Alabama stammered for a moment. "I was thinkin' 'bout all them, um, farms out there, and, uh..." Mississippi's eyebrow traveled higher and higher up her forehead. "Uh..." Alabama mumbled. "...and, I was wonderin' if you'd ever... worked on a farm?"

Texas facepalmed. "Yeah, when I was like seven," Mississippi responded cheerily. "It ain't fun."

A sigh escaped from Texas. "You think that's funny?" Mississippi snapped, turning on him. "Nah," Texas responded. "I'm just gonna do a bro a favor here, and tell you that Alabama is crazy for you. He fancies you. You're the light in his world. In this utterly _shitty_ game show, you're the only thing keepin' him goin'. He's liked you for a real long time."

Mississippi's eyes were wide. Alabama appeared apprehensive. "Wait, is that true?" she asked, flustered, turning to Alabama. "You actually _like_ me?"

Alabama glanced around, and evidently didn't see a way out of this. He nodded sheepishly. Mississippi began flapping her hands. "Oh, my gawsh," she yelled. "You're so sweet! I... I need to go. I'll... I'll see you, um... later, Alabama!"

She ran out of the room, towards the bunks. Texas held his hands out, and declared, "How was _that_?"

Alabama glared at Texas. "You have no class," he seethed. "But... thanks, dude. Damn... she left in a hurry."

Texas shrugged. "Typical reaction, I'd guess. She'll be back. She's havin' a freak down or somethin'."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_25_mp3**

"Oh, my gawsh! I had no idea he liked me like that! Oooh, the boys back home are gonna be so _jealous_! Me an' Alabama, we click, just like that. I can already tell."

Mississippi

**10:40 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus. After the incident in Montana, the bus's engine had been fixed, and another driver had been hired, this one slightly older, and more experienced. Delaware was teaching Connecticut how to sketch, while New Jersey sat with them, complimenting Delaware's appearance every few minutes.

"How does this look?" Connecticut asked, showing Delaware the sketchbook. It appeared that he had attempted drawing a rabbit, but the lining was poor, and there were smudges everywhere. "Um, better," Delaware said truthfully. She squinted at the drawing. "You draw good eyes, but I think you might want to work on the sketching part a little more. Remember, never press down hard with the pencil."

"You sure do know a lot about drawing," New Jersey suddenly blurted, after adjusting his shades. "Like... you're a pro."

Delaware glanced at him warily. "Right..." she mumbled. "Anyways... Connecticut, try again. You've definitely improved over the past few days. Keep it up."

"Thanks," Connecticut muttered shyly, and resumed drawing. New Jersey sat awkwardly for a few more moments, and then declared, "Well, I'm gonna make some macaroni and cheese. Delaware, d'you want any?"

"No, thanks. I'm good."

Connecticut raised his hand. "I might want some."

New Jersey glared at Connecticut. "Actually, I think I'm just gonna make some for myself," he decided, standing up and walking to the small kitchen. Connecticut glanced up briefly, and muttered, "Well, alright. Make up your mind, then."

"Good morning," Massachusetts chimed, walking into the room and wearing his sweater-vest, as always. He adjusted his glasses, and glanced down at the parchment that Connecticut was tracing on. "What are you drawing?" he asked, evidently interested.

"Oh, um..." Connecticut mumbled, partially covering his work with a hand. "It's nothing."

A moment of silence went by. "It's a... rabbit?" Massachusetts questioned, squinting at the paper. Connecticut sheepishly nodded a confirmation. "Ah," Massachusetts remarked. "Well, are you guys ready for today's challenge? I'm not sure what it's going to be, but... should be interesting."

Delaware leaned back in her chair, and checked her watch. "Anything's better than getting chased by bears, that's for sure," she commented, soliciting a chuckle from Connecticut.

**11:52 AM.**

Chris stood in the hot July sun in the middle of a field. The five buses had been parked side by side, and the forty-four occupants had filtered outside. Chris seemed slightly weary from almost a full month of driving, but still wore his award-winning smile. "Good morning, contestants!" he barked, holding a wrench. "Today, like all challenge days, is a special day!"

New Jersey groaned loudly, along with a few other contestants. "Shush!" Chris yelled, holding up a finger. "You don't even know what it is you're doing yet! Today... we're going to be building _cars_."

Around a dozen jaws dropped at that. A few people seemed interested, however. Chris grinned, and continued, "In this junk pile, you can find enough parts to get your vehicle started. There's also paint and things if you want to go out in style. Your frames are over there!"

He pointed at five rusty metal contraptions that only had a steering wheel, an engine, and the axles. "Tools are over there! For welding and stuff," Chris added slightly unnecessarily, pointing at another pile. "You guys have exactly _three hours_ to complete your design! And remember... it needs to be able to work. Chop-chop, kids. I'm going to go grab some lunch."

The forty-four contestants just stood there for a moment, unable to comprehend the task that was ahead. Did Chris _actually_ expect them to build a working car just from a frame and some scrap metal?

**11:59 AM.**

"This is absolutely ridiculous..." Washington muttered, checking over a rusty metal tube from the pile. "Hey, it ain't so bad," Idaho told him, inspecting the nozzle of a welder. "We get to build cars from scratch!"

"Yeah, exactly. We have to build cars from scratch," Washington repeated, throwing down the pipe. Team Touchdown, however, was faring slightly better.

"I'm tellin' y'all," Texas proclaimed, standing beside Team Touchdown's vehicle. "I've got _experience_ with bein' a mechanic. I used to fix up trucks that looked worse than this."

South Carolina appeared skeptical. "You sure you know what you're doin'?" she asked, glancing at the heap of rusted junk. "Look's kinda dangerous. I sure wouldn't want to go anywhere _near_ some of that stuff."

"Nah, it's real simple," Texas assured her. "You just put 'em together, and weld 'em, to make the metal stick. Yo! Al! You wanna give me a hand, here?"

Alabama had his arm around Mississippi's shoulder, and was pointing out interestingly-shaped clouds. Every few moments a giggle escaped from either of them. Texas rolled his eyes, and got back to work.

**12:20 PM.**

"I know a thing or two about welding, North Dakota, don't worry," a confident Colorado claimed to his team. North Dakota was evidently impressed. "You can ski _and_ you can weld? We're keeping you, as long as you don't mess this up. South Dakota! How's the engine doing?"

South Dakota was sitting in the frame, turning the key over and over again. "It won't start up!" she wailed. "There's fuel in it, but there's something wrong with the engine, I think. Does anyone think they can help?"

Utah chimed in, "Yeah, I'm a race car driver. I can fix it."

All eyes turned on him. "What?"

Utah stared back. "I... what?" he asked, slightly disturbed. "I drive stock cars. It's a lot of fun."

"Um... okay?" North Dakota said slowly, eyeing Utah with distrust. "We'll put that to the test, then. If you can fix whatever's wrong with that engine, then you get on my good side."

**12:41 PM.**

"Alright, this is officially hopeless," New Hampshire from Team Democracy decided, staring at a pile of scrap metal. "How are we supposed to make an actual... an actual _moving vehicle_ out of _this_ garbage?"

New York sighed in response, and sat on the ground with his head in his hands. "I don't know. I have no idea why Chris expects us to be able to know this kind of stuff. Most people here are _sixteen_, for crying out loud. The majority of the contestants probably don't even know what a trigonometric ratio is. You figured out how the welder works, Massachusetts?"

Massachusetts was sitting on a pile of tires, inspecting the instrument carefully. "It looks like you pull this trigger right here!" he called, indicating a small plastic trigger near the nozzle. "And then white-hot flames spurt out. I'm not sure how that's going to help us get this thing up and running, though... Chris is out of his mind."

New York nodded in agreement, throwing down a metal rod. "Argh! This is impossible."

**1:12 PM.**

One hour in. A cheer went up from Team America, as they got their engine up and running finally. "Looks like our no-loss streak is just gonna continue!" Wisconsin announced with a satisfied smile. "All that's left is tune ups and making the hull of the car. Michigan! You put those tires on yet?"

"Just about!" Michigan grunted, lying on his stomach and inspecting the axles. "There's a problem with making them line up with the braking pad. I'll have it fixed in no time."

Ohio rolled his eyes, glancing at his teammate. "I'm telling you, dude, you need to replace them. You can't just line them up again like that. Don't you know anything about how cars work?"

Michigan glanced at Ohio suspiciously. "Like it or not, I'm fixing it. Don't worry. Focus on your _own_ task."

"Good work, y'all!" Virginia cheered, giving a thumbs up to those who were working tirelessly on her team's vehicle. "With this kinda attitude, I'm absolutely sure we've got this challenge in the bag. Keep up the good work."

**1:34 PM.**

Oregon was painting the side of Team Victory's car with an elaborate red, orange, and yellow design. For the most part, the hull had been attached, and the engine was up and running. As New Mexico tinkered with tightening the wheels, Arizona approached Oregon, looking at the intricate design. "Oooh! Looks cute," she complimented, glancing over the pattern. "You think we'll get points for style?"

"I hope so," Oregon mumbled, dipping his paintbrush into the orange paint can once more. "Either way, it should boost... motivation, or something." He smiled, and finished with a flourish, as Washington approached from behind. "I like that!" he stated, evidently impressed. "We're doing really, really well. How're those wheels faring, New Mexico?"

"Alright," he grunted, hands oily as he fidgeted with a wrench at a wheel. "They're kind of rusted, but it's all good! Nothin' _we_ can't handle."

Washington nodded slowly. "Alright. Since Chris specifically stated that the cars need to work... it's obvious that someone's going to have to drive it, whether that's in a race, or what. Any volunteers?"

"I'll drive!" Hawaii decided, looking up from the engine he was tuning up. Washington grinned brightly, and adjusted his glasses. "Fabulous teamwork. I love it. You guys are all the best."

**1:40 PM.**

"Having fun?" an amused Chris asked the members of Team Democracy. Most members were just sitting on the ground, in front of the rusted frame of a broken down car. Connecticut, lying on his back, shook his head sadly. "That's a real shame!" Chris decided with a smile, straightening up. "I guess you guys are okay with losing, then?"

Massachusetts glanced around at his team. Only New York, Delaware, and Maine were helping him with putting on the hull. "Y'know, you guys could help," he mumbled heatedly. "We can't do this on our own."

"I would if I knew how," New Jersey explained, lying on his stomach and playing with a scurrying ladybug. "Really, I would. I just think I would, um... get in the way. Yeah, that works..."

New York glared at the team members who were just sitting on the ground. "The reason we haven't won a _single_ challenge so far," he seethed, "is because all the other teams don't have lazy contestants. Look at Team Dakota, for crying out loud. Every single person on their team is at least doing _something_. Sure, they might have been forced to do so, but still. Because of that, _they're not going to lose_. You, there. Vermont. C'mon and help us."

Vermont glanced upwards, terrified at the members of his team, and shook his head quickly. New York sighed. "You haven't said a single thing. At all. On this show so far. Ever."

"He's mute," Connecticut murmured, eyes closed with his hands behind his head. "Don't berate people for being different. Next thing we know, you'll be making fun of Massachusetts because he's gay."

"Bisexual!" Massachusetts corrected, concentrating on welding another piece of the hull onto the frame. New York narrowed his eyes at Connecticut. "First off, I'm from New York City," he began. "There are more lunatics per square mile there than anywhere else in the world. I've had _lots_ of experience with people being different. My best friend is a cross-dresser. My History teacher was a Pastafarian. What I _haven't_ had experience with is people not feeling like they should help out. Now come on, get up, and help us weld."

Connecticut groaned, and sat up sleepily. "Okay. Okay, fine," he decided. "I'll help out. Jesus."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_26_mp3**

"I don't really see the big deal with not being able to pitch in. New York thinks it's a choice. I don't know how to make a car! None of us do! Why does he expect us to instantly be able to help out when we can't? He's being unreasonable. And it's not New York's problem if Vermont doesn't want to talk."

Connecticut

**2:09 PM.**

Two hours in. A green camouflage design was being painted on Team Touchdown's car, as most of the hull was completely constructed. Georgia led the painting process, aided by Arkansas, Florida, and Louisiana. Texas was tinkering on the engine, making some last-minute adjustments, while Alabama and Mississippi were in their own little world.

"Hey!" Texas snapped, looking up at Alabama and Mississippi, who were cuddling cutely, sitting on a pile of tires. "Er..." Texas corrected himself, "...yo, Bama! I wanna know what you think 'bout this engine adjustment."

Alabama groaned, pecked Mississippi on the cheek, and walked over. "What's up, y'all?" he asked, glancing back at Mississippi every few moments.

"Well," Texas began, "I've experimented with pokin' holes in the muffler to make the engine louder. Y'know, to intimidate the other teams. But now some kinda fluid is escapin' from it, an' I'm not sure - _hey__!_"

Alabama had wandered back over to Mississippi, who was waiting rather impatiently. Texas opened his mouth to call him back, but decided against it at the last moment. He sighed, and continued to tinker on the engine.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_27_mp3**

"Man... Alabama's the only dude I actually _like_ on my team. Now, I respect his choice to hang with his girl, don't get me wrong. I would'a done the same if I was him. But man, I dunno... it's boring without him. He'll come 'round, I'm sure of that."

Texas

**2:59 PM.**

Five vehicles were lined up at the beginning of a dirt track. One person from each team had elected to drive, while the rest of the team looked on. Team Victory's car was a smooth and sleek one, decorated with a pretty orange, yellow, and red pattern on the sides. In the driver's seat, sat New Mexico, looking ready to go. For Team America, Indiana and North Carolina had decorated their vehicle in a shiny all-black color, with green touch-ups here and there for the effect. In the driver's seat, Ohio sat, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Team Touchdown's car was quite bulky, and seemed almost armored. It was decorated in a camouflage pattern, and in its driving chair, Texas sat, determination etching his face. Beside that, Team Dakota's car rested. It appeared more sparse than most of the others, almost down to its bare bones. It also lacked any kind of decorations or paint whatsoever. North Dakota herself had elected to take the wheel, after much sparring with Utah, who had volunteered endlessly. And lastly, was Team Democracy's "car".

The car that was supposed to represent Team Democracy was certainly make-shift, that was for certain. Bits and pieces of metal had been attached to the frame, without any kind of logic behind them whatsoever. The engine was smeared with a black tar, something that not even a good scrub-down had been able to fix. There was a very small paint job done on the side by Massachusetts, who had wrote with purple paint "TEAM DEMOCRACY" in block letters. New Jersey sat slightly too confidently in the driver's seat.

The remaining thirty-nine contestants were just waiting behind the cars, anxious to get the show moving along. And lastly, Chris was yelling into a phone, as everyone waited on him.

"...no, I do _not_ know where the finale will be filmed! We've got _five months_ to figure it out... wait, you want us to do what?"

There was a pause. "You mean we can't have the sharks? Why _not?_"

One more pause, and then Chris groaned. "Fine. Your way. In the meantime, I gotta go, we're sort of filming right now... yes. Yes. Thank you. Goodbye."

The phone shut off with a click. Chris sighed, looking slightly depressed, and then flashed his bright, cheery smile at the contestants. "Are you guys ready?" he asked. A few people nodded, to which he held up a finger teasingly. "That was a hypothetical question! No answer needed. At the sound of my gun, each team will drive off, and begin the challenge. First person to finish the dirt track wins! Everyone ready?"

"Ready! Set! _Go-_"

CRACK. The five vehicles revved up, and roared off down the track without any problems. As far as the contestants could tell, the cars were working perfectly. Kentucky whooped loudly for his team.

"Yeaaah!" Texas yelled, speeding down the track faster and faster. The track was fairly short, but a number of obstacles were there to impede their progress. As Texas skillfully dodged a pile of overturned barrels, he spotted a narrow, rickety bridge up ahead over a pit of mud. He overtook New Jersey, sped up, and roared _right over_ the pit, making it to the other side. New Jersey went over right afterwards, followed by North Dakota, New Mexico, and Ohio. The race was on.

"Eat _this!_" North Dakota screamed, smashing into the side of Team America's car. Ohio almost spun out of control, but by using the steering wheel skillfully, he managed to pull himself back on track. "Chris! She's cheating!" he yelled into the camera on the front of the car.

Chris, of course, back at the finish line, merely shrugged, grinning bemusedly.

New Jersey swerved in between cones, trying desperately to catch up with Texas. Behind him, North Dakota began to catch up, after cutting in front of New Mexico. Though the only thing that mattered was that he didn't end up in last, New Jersey was desperate for Team Democracy to finally win a challenge.

North Dakota sped up, trailing right behind New Jersey, but he didn't let her aside, swerving right in front of her when she tried to overtake him. She groaned, and looked around the dashboard for a certain weapon Nebraska had been keen to try to stick onto the car. She pressed a button, and-

PCHOOO, and two long spears were catapulted from the front of the vehicle. One soared off into the distance, while the other hit Team Democracy's car. It ripped through the tire, making New Jersey spin wildly out of control, coming to a halt off the side of the track in a huge cloud of dust.

"Oh, my god..." Massachusetts whispered, gazing out onto the track. North Dakota, New Mexico, and Ohio sped right past the twisted metal wreckage of Team Democracy's car. "Is he alright?"

Chris groaned. "Yo! New Jersey!" he called, waving at the rubble. "You need an ambulance or something? Because _apparently_ I'm not allowed to say that you can't have one."

A dirty hand went up from the wreckage of Team Democracy's car. It gave a thumbs up, as New Jersey groggily pulled himself up from the wreckage. "Oh, good," Chris said, relieved.

Thanks to Team Democracy's fall, Team Dakota had earned its place in second, after unsuccessful attempts at taking Texas down. Team Touchdown came in first, Team Dakota second, Team Victory third, and Team America in fourth. New Jersey trudged back to his team, as New York continued his crusade to make Chris change his mind.

"She _cheated!_" he exclaimed, pointing wildly at North Dakota, who was receiving high fives from her team. "She's done this before! She did this in Alaska, too! You can't let this slide, Chris."

"Actually, I can," he countered, slightly annoyed. "Your team could've done the same thing. Now... I think it's time to see a certain team through voting, am I correct?"

New York groaned. Massachusetts appeared pretty disappointed. "After all that work, too," he mumbled, head in his hands. "This sucks."

**4:13 PM.**

The air in Team Democracy's bus was stiff, and uneasy. As the five buses plowed onwards through Iowa, everyone was avoiding looking at each other. Connecticut was playing a game of checkers with himself. Vermont was just sitting in the corner, doing absolutely nothing. New York was pacing over and over again, and then asked the inevitable.

"Okay. So... we lost. Who are we considering for elimination?"

Connecticut looked up. "What?"

"We need to figure out who we're going to eliminate."

The teen just looked confused, letting the checkers game aside for now. "I don't know," Connecticut responded, and decided to focus on the game. New York groaned, and stomped off to the bunk rooms.

"Massachusetts!" New York yelled, startling him. "Jesus Christ, dude..." Massachusetts mumbled. "You almost gave me a heart attack. Y'know, you could knock."

"We need a game plan," New York stated, ignoring Massachusetts's discomfort. "We have to figure out who to vote off. The obvious choice is Vermont."

Massachusetts looked up, surprised. "What? No! Er... no, not Vermont. He's too sweet."

New York rolled his eyes. "Sweet means absolutely nothing when he ended up being _literally the only person who didn't help_. Even Connecticut pitched in a little."

"We can't just be mean to people who can't pull their weight. It's not Vermont's fault. Can't we just vote off New Jersey? I thought that was what we were doing. He lost us the game."

Another roll of the eyes. "Massachusetts. He probably did better driving than any of us on this team could have done. Even if he _did_ crash. Now, what's _not_ helping our team is mute people who aren't going to help at all."

Massachusetts stared at New York, contempt showing in his face. "Y'know, you're heartless," he mumbled, diverting his attention back to his PC Gamer magazine. "All you care about is winning. And, yeah, that's important, but... do you want our team to turn into a Team Dakota-type situation?"

"It _won't_ if everyone does what I tell them to do! And face it. Someone like Vermont would never win a game like this. Get real."

Massachusetts mumbled something. New York didn't hear it. "What was that?" New York asked a little too loudly. "I didn't quite catch that."

"...don't vote off Vermont. Anybody but him."

...

New York spoke uncertainly, "You don't... _like_ him, do you?"

There was a silence. New York turned around towards the door, head in his hands. "Ohhh, my God... seriously? _Him?_ He doesn't talk at all."

Massachusetts didn't say anything. New York sighed. "Why not Connecticut? Or Maine? They're all nice people. Dude, you've gotta pick your pairings better. You can't just go around falling for people who are obviously going to get booted off within a span of-"

"Leave. I'm serious, New York."

A rather lengthy silence went by. New York sighed, and quietly said, "Massachusetts. Vermont is going to be voted off eventuall-"

"Go."

One more awkward pause, and then New York trudged out the room.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_27_mp3**

"Wow. I didn't really expect that. Vermont? The guy doesn't talk at all. But... I really need Massachusetts on my side. He looks like the only other person on this team who can actually get us somewhere in this damn game. He'll... he'll forgive me after it's done. I'm sure of that. And then we'll start winning again."

New York

**7:02 PM.**

Chris shone a wide smile at the nine members of Team Democracy as they approached in a huge parking lot outside Cedar Rapids. The sky was growing dark with the evening already. Chris had his arms full of snacks. "Hello, contestants!" he grunted, dropping the snacks on the ground. "Hope you guys've had a fun challenge! How does it feel to have already lost two challenges when Team America's lost zero?"

Nobody responded to that. Everyone was glancing at each other warily. Chris sighed, and muttered, "Well, you're a fun bunch... when I call your name, I tell you how many people voted for you. If you get a snack, that means you're staying in the game. If you _don't_... then you go home, and can't come back on this show. Ever."

A pause went by.

"These votes are all over the place, you guys. But nevertheless... Delaware! Zero votes. Here's a bag of Cheetos."

"Maine and Massachusetts! I've got two packs of Skittles for you two riiight here. Zero votes!"

"New Hampshire and Pennsylvania. Hershey's Kisses for you guys. Sound good? No votes whatsoever."

A silence. Only New York, Connecticut, Vermont, and New Jersey remained. Chris smiled. "The rest of you got at least one vote! Uh oh! Time for the drama..."

...

"New York! Just one vote, brother."

New York caught a bag of Doritos graciously. Chris grinning devilishly. "Connecticut, Vermont, and New Jersey are left!" he announced. "The penultimate snack goes to..."

...

"Connecticut! Just one vote."

A bag of Funyuns landed on the pavement in front of Connecticut. He picked it up dully. Another pause went by, as Chris just smiled at the remaining two contestants. New Jersey looked terrified. Vermont just appeared surprised.

"The final bag of Jolly Ranchers goes to..."

...

...

...

"New Jersey! Two votes!"

A gasp of air escaped from New Jersey. Chris shrugged, and pointed at the taxi. "Sorry, Vermont! You got five votes, man. Your ride is waiting."

As Vermont trudged by, Massachusetts sat brooding on the pavement, packet of Skittles left untouched at his feet. A car door slammed, and a cab drove away.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, and Vermont.

**aspiringAnimator - **Once again, I accidentally wrote a five thousand word chapter. Is that a good thing? Is writing 10,000 words every week _healthy_? Find out the answers to all of these exciting questions and more in the next exciting installment of... The Fifty State Roadtrip!

But seriously, though. Parts of this chapter weren't actually planned, including Massachussetts's affinity for Vermont. So, yeah, that wasn't actually the big planned LGBT couple. Did I just say too much? Nah.

Updates are Wednesdays and weekends as usual. I somehow have gotten used to writing 10,000 words a week. It is a dreadful disease.

Vote for the character that _YOU'RE_ rooting for at the poll on my profile! Make sure to follow, favorite, and review! Critique, criticisms, opinions, praise, whatever. All that good stuff. A surprise kiss will be delivered upon your cheek if you do! Maybe by me. Maybe by someone else. Maybe by someone you don't actually _want_ to get a kiss from. That's why it's a surprise.


	9. How to Fabulous

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 8: HOW TO FABULOUS**

_"But what did I _do?" - West Virginia__

**Wednesday, July 30th, 2014. Burlington, Vermont. 9:20 AM.**

A cold shower ran in the back of Team America's bus. Carefully, Virginia scrubbed all the dirt off herself. It'd been a long month.

With a flick of her wrist, the water was shut off, and she stepped out. Surely, around four people must be waiting outside for their turn. Virginia dried herself off, and bumped into a certain someone right out the door.

"Oh, my - WEST VIRGINIA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING."

"Oh! _HEH! _Um... I... was just passing by! Don't worry-"

"No... no. You're coming with me."

"_HEH! _Sounds like fun! Where - ow, ow. Don't - _ow_ - You don't have to drag by by the ea - OW"

Virginia was dragging West Virginia by the ear, and threw him into his room. She shut the door. "You're staying in there, West Virginia!" she shouted. "Until you learn how to... to _behave_, and not creepily stalk people the way you do, you have to stay in. I'm lockin' this door."

There wasn't a lock on the outside of the bunk room, evidently. She contented herself with propping a chair underneath the doorknob. Ohio walked up cautiously, wary of Virginia's tactics.

"Um. What are you doing?"

"I'm... locking West Virginia in his bunk room."

"You know that's my room, too, right? There's four bunks in that room."

"Oh... um."

The door swung open again. "Alright, West Virginia, let that be a lesson to you!" Virginia shouted, stomping off. "Damn... little ginger brat."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_28_mp3**

"I've about _had it_ with that kid. I just wanna know why he won't leave _me_ alone. What'd I ever do to deserve the purgatory I live in, where this little red headed string bean is poppin' out of every door I see? I can't take a shower in peace anymore without knowin' he's listenin' to me sing 'Amazing Grace' from the other side. I've _tried_ bein' polite about it to the little kid, but... enough is _enough_."

Virginia

**9:36 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus rumbled its way throughout the steep hills of Vermont. Everyone seemed convinced the team was destined to never win a single challenge, which was actually a reasonable prediction when you looked at what had happened so far. Maine was trying to teach Massachusetts how to play Majong, but Massachusetts was being weirdly unresponsive the past few days. New Jersey, sitting alone on the couch, sighed, and leaned back.

"Do you guys know when Delaware's waking up?" he suddenly asked. Massachusetts glanced up at him, eyebrow raised. "Why do you care?"

New Jersey looked at the floor. "Oh, no reason. I'm just busy being a bad ass, that's all, and I gotta make sure my women know... know their place."

Maine looked over at New Jersey. "Your women?"

"Um... yes?"

Maine turned her attention away from the game of Majong, and folded her arms. "Okay, so you're saying you own women now?"

"No! No, like, they're... um."

A strained silence went by. Maine glared at New Jersey, while Massachusetts's eyes flicked back between the two. "I'm gonna make a sandwich," Massachusetts suddenly decided. "We can finish our game later today, Maine. Um... yeah."

**9:44 AM.**

"Yo! Bus driver!" Texas suddenly yelled. "Can we, like, stop an' play football or somethin'? We been cramped in here for 'bout a month now."

The Intern glanced over at Texas, and said nothing. Texas didn't seem pleased, but elected to sit down with Alabama and Mississippi, who were cuddling on the couch. "Damn..." Texas mumbled. "It's so boring in here."

His comment went unnoticed by Alabama. Texas rolled his eyes, and retreated to the bunk rooms.

Arkansas was sitting on his bed, reading a copy of "War of the Worlds". Florida was lying on the bed above him, listening to music, when Texas cautiously knocked on the door. "Yo! Arkansas!" Texas exclaimed, walking up to the teen. Arkansas glanced up nervously at Texas. "What is it?"

"Nothin'!" Texas said, sitting on the bunk opposite to Arkansas's. "Just checkin' in on things. Um..."

A silence went by. Arkansas resumed reading. Texas tentatively said, "So... how d'you like bein' on the show so far?"

"It's fun. There's more down time than I thought."

"Right on, right on..." Texas muttered, nodding his head at that. "Right, well, I was just checkin' in on things here. Hey, you wanna play poker or somethin'?"

Arkansas glanced at Texas over his book as Florida snorted at that. "Is Alabama ignoring you?" he asked. Texas was immediately surprised at his accuracy.

"Um. Nah, man, it's just... I'm... bored."

Arkansas sighed, and stood up, saving his place in his book. "Alright. Come on. We'll set up in the kitchen," he decided.

The two guys walked back into the living room. Alabama and Mississippi barely even noticed them. Texas withdrew a set of cards from a kitchen drawer, and laid them out on the small table. Alabama heard the cards, and quickly looked up to see the two sitting down awkwardly, about to play. "Hey, what are y'all doin'?" he asked, attention diverting from Mississippi for just a moment.

"Playin' poker."

"Can I play?"

"...yeah, sure."

Alabama joined the three, leaving Mississippi sitting all alone on the couch. She looked up at her new boyfriend slightly disappointed, but then proclaimed, "I wanna play, too."

"We're just getting started. Hop on up."

The four southerners began to play together, bonding over bets and a pack of cards. Texas was near winning, but Arkansas had a four-of-a-kind up his sleeve. Within half an hour, however, a crackled voice over the radio declared, "We're coming in hot! ETA is five minutes. This is Chris: signing off!"

**10:03 AM.**

"Good morning, contestants!" a cheerful Chris greeted the forty-three contestants. "Would you guys like to know why we're all standing in the middle of a closed off street in the city of Burlington?"

A few people glanced around. One or two shrugged. Chris sighed, and said, "First person to guess it correctly gets immunity."

"_Drag race!_" Kentucky immediately shouted.

"Pie eatin' contest," Mississippi suggested.

"Trivia show!" Connecticut exclaimed.

Washington asked tentatively, "Scavenger hunt again?"

"_Awake-a-thon!_" North Dakota screamed.

Oklahoma squealed, "Talent sh-" right when Chris shouted, "QUIET! I was kidding! _Jesus!_ Do I really have to give you guys _incentives_ for talking now? We're doing a _fashion show_."

Everyone went quiet. Kentucky snorted, evidently under the impression that it was a joke again. A number of girls became interested in the topic. "Each team will have to make three outfits for three different models from their team!" Chris yelled, amused by everyone's varied reactions. "You will present your outfits in front of three judges. I am the first one. For the second judge, allow me to introduce... Chef!"

A few people began to clap slowly. Chef walked up, clearly annoyed. "Yeah, I ain't sure why I'm here," he yelled. "I was promised I'd be paid for this."

"You're on our _retirement plan!_" Chris whispered loudly. "And the plan states you have to help us out every now and then. Our third and final judge is... Blaineley!"

A blonde woman walked up in an elaborate dress, smiling widely at the forty-three contestants. A few people shrunk back at her appearance. "Hi, there!" she exclaimed, patting Utah on the head sweetly. "My name is Blaineley! I'll help judge this challenge, okay?"

"Aren't you that lady who got fired from hosting, like... three shows?" Indiana asked, clearly unimpressed by the newcomer. Blaineley scowled at the young, nonchalant teenage girl briefly, and then flashed her cheery smile again. "Oh, these kids are a hoot, Chris! I don't know how you do it!" she exclaimed, pinching Indiana's cheek roughly. "So. _Cute._"

Indiana jerked away, and muttered, "We're _so very_ grateful to have you on here."

Blaineley smiled a wide, dead, broken smile, and exclaimed, "And I am _so_ happy to be here! It's almost as if I _actually have a career still, and that this isn't my only option of making any money!_"

"Um... right," Chris said, stepping in. "Contestants, you have one hour to make the _most_ attractive outfits for your team! Figure out who is going up as models! You can find clothing, sewing machines, cloth, and everything else you might need behind the curtain. Chop chop!"

**10:09 AM.**

Arizona held up a long piece of orange cloth, squinting at it scrutinizingly. "All we have to work with is a bunch of cloth," she murmured, setting it down. Oregon looked up from his sketchpad; he was already drawing out designs. "I think we could make this work!" he announced, sketching out the design for a dress. "It can't be _that_ hard. You've gotta think optimistically!"

Washington approached, looking cautiously at Oregon's drawings. "You sure you're okay with doing all the designs?" he asked, adjusting his glasses. Oregon nodded quickly. "Yes! I used to think up all kinds of styles in my free time. It's fun! You can make one, too, if you want."

A hand went up hesitantly from Washington. "Don't worry about it. You seem like you've got it under control, Oregon. Fabulous work."

Oregon looked sheepish, and continued with his work.

"Ooooh!" California squealed, running up to Washington. "Can I be a _model?_"

Washington shrugged. "Sure. We need three. California can do it... Arizona, you wanna go?"

Arizona shook her head. "No. It's degrading."

"Okay..."

Nevada raised her hand excitedly. "Can I be a model?" she asked. Washington shrugged. "I don't know. Why are all of you asking me?"

"You're the leader, right?"

Washington blinked. "What?"

"Of this team. I mean... right?"

"Uhhh... I... I wasn't aware? When did that happen?"

Hawaii approached. "Of course you are. You've taken charge successfully for almost every challenge," he told Washington. "If anyone should be leader of the 'great and powerful' Team Victory, it should be you."

Washington looked flustered. "Um, thanks, Hawaii, but... I was just helping out the team. I wasn't actually _trying_ to lead."

Hawaii shrugged, and set down a load of cloth by the sewing machine. "Everyone likes you, dude. I don't know why. You're lucky, man. I kind of wanted to be leader."

Washington's hands flew up. "Take it, then. I wasn't preparing with... with leading seven teenagers to their doom on this show."

A chuckle went up from Hawaii. "Little too late for that, I think. Embrace it, bro."

**10:25 AM.**

Texas and Alabama sat on two wooden crates behind the curtains of the stage, looking bored. Almost every single girl on their team were designing outfits, trying on clothes, and basically squabbling about who gets to be models. Even Florida was taking part, sketching out designs for elaborate dresses. Alabama sniffed, and wiped his nose absentmindedly.

"All _physical challenges_, huh, Tex?"

"Man, dude, not now."

**10:27 AM.**

"Which one of you nerds is good at drawing?" North Dakota blared, staring down Nebraska, Utah, and Kansas. Oklahoma raised her hand nervously, and said, "Um, Glorious Leader, I think I might be able to-"

"Fine, then," North Dakota said, exasperated. "You do the designs. The obvious first choices for the models are going to be South Dakota and I. Who else wants to be a model? Don't volunteer if you're ugly."

At that last sentence, nobody volunteered, upon fears that North Dakota considered them ugly. North Dakota groaned, and pointed at Minnesota. "You. Runner girl. You're modeling."

She appeared wary, but consented, as Oklahoma began sketching out the first few outfits. "Make sure you don't try anything daring, Oklahoma," North Dakota ordered. "Go nice and simple. I have no idea how they'll react to these designs, so it's best to play it safe."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_29_mp3**

"Okay, I know North Dakota says we're not allowed to make confessionals, but I just wanted to state on the record that she _terrifies_ me. I'm not allowed to talk to other people on the team. I've felt more stressed this past month than I have in my entire life. Every challenge day I'm terrified that we'll lose, and she'll decide to blame me. I mean, look at Iowa, for pete's sake. He was a nice guy, a little shy, but he complained _literally once_ and got booted!"

Nebraska

**10:31 AM.**

New York sighed, looking around at his team. "This is our chance to finally win!" he announced. Most people were just awkwardly holding cloth, and comparing colors. "We've got real potential here, for the simple fact that this _isn't a physical challenge_. Hey, Massachusetts. You're gay. You've got a natural-born desire to make fashionable clothing, right?"

Massachusetts glared at New York. "First off, I'm not even gay," he began. "I keep telling you guys. There is a _difference_ between bisexual and gay. I like girls as much as guys. And to answer your question, no, I'm not really _that_ artistic, or... feminine, to be honest."_  
><em>

New York looked disappointed. "Well, okay, fine then," he stuttered. "We need someone to think up outfit designs."

"I've done something like that before," Pennsylvania mused, looking over a sheet of cloth. New York avoided her gaze nervously, but stated, "Okay, good, let's see what you can do. As for the rest of you guys, at least _try_ to make some outfits, alright?"

New Jersey sighed, and threw down a piece of white cloth. "This ain't really my realm of expertise, bro," he informed New York. "I'm no good with makin' dresses."

New York was rubbing his forehead. "You don't have to make a dress. Just make anything that looks good. We've got real potential with this challenge. It's up to you guys to _apply yourselves_."

**10:34 AM.**

"We need to do a striped theme!" Ohio declared, holding orange and purple cloth together for comparison. "It's simple. It's stylish. It will keep us from getting in last."

"Orange and purple look terrible together, you know," Michigan commented passive-aggressively, walking by. "I have an idea!" West Virginia yelled.

Virginia subconsciously stepped away. Wisconsin perked his ears up, and asked, "What's your idea?"

"We all dress up like Virginia! _HEH!_ We ought to win first prize instantly with _her_ kind of flair!"

There was a silence that lasted about eight full seconds. Everybody stared at West Virginia, who eventually began to stammer, "We can, like... have really tight jeans, and beige jackets just like her, and fix our hair up to be all bushy-"

WHAM. Virginia had grabbed West Virginia by the collar of his dorky little polo shirt, and pinned him against a tall wooden beam. "I'm sick of askin' you nicely," she seethed. "Stay. _AWAY_. From. _Me_. I mean it."

West Virginia looked incredibly flustered. "It was just a sugges-"

"I _will_ file a restraining order once this show's over. You've crossed the line one too many times, little man."

Virginia set him down, and stomped off. Ohio approached him cautiously. "I really think you should leave her alone," he advised. "Your attitude towards her is gonna get you kicked off the team."

"I just don't know what to do!" West Virginia bawled, sitting on the ground cross-legged. "She - she _hates me__!_"

"I wonder why," Ohio mused, walking off.

**10:51 AM.**

"How do I look?" Nevada asked, twirling around in a brand new orange, silky dress. Oregon came up with the design himself. The base of the dress split off into red and yellow frizz, giving Nevada the appearance of being on fire. Idaho's jaw was wide. Washington noticed her dress, and gasped. "Oh, my gosh, that's amazing," he murmured. "Give it a spin. It looks like you're a bonfire or something."

"That's the general idea!" Oregon announced, grinning widely and pointing at his sketchbook. "I mean, she's not really on fire, obviously, but it should wow Chris and the other two judges. I... think we've got this in the bag. I saw someone from Team America wearing a bowl on their head."

New Mexico, who was passing by carrying a load of cloth, raised an eyebrow at that. "A bowl?"

Sure enough, over in Team America, Kentucky was prancing around wearing a bowl on his head, as West Virginia sobbed in the middle of the floor. New Mexico stared at them for a few moments, and remarked, "Let's... just be glad we're not on _that_ team."

**11:00 AM.**

"_TIME'S UP!_" Chris shouted through a bullhorn, sitting in one of three chairs in front of a stage. "Everyone get your stupid outfits on and prepare to _dazzle_ me! You guys ready to judge?"

Blaineley looked up from her phone finally, and shrugged, looking back down at it, evidently under the impression that there were no cameras watching her at the moment. Chef was asleep, laying his head on the table. "Wake up, big guy," Chris said, grinning amusedly. "It's time to fulfill your _contract!_ Contestants! Send out Team Touchdown's models!"

There was a minute or two of muffled noises from behind the curtain, and then, Georgia revealed herself. She was wearing what _appeared_ to be a football jersey, but pink, and bearing the number one. The jersey appeared tailored to be form-fitting, matching the skinny jeans she wore. Seconds later, Tennessee and Mississippi walked out, wearing similar outfits, except in purple and light blue, and with the numbers two and three. "I see Team Touchdown has gone with some outfits that reflect their team!" Chris yelled, scratching down something in a notepad. "Interesting. How many points are we going to award this team?"

Blaineley smiled widely with the knowledge that she was being filmed. "Well, I'd say these girls worked _very_ hard!" she said cheerily. "I give them a nine!"

Chris winced. "Well, I give it a seven. It could've been better."

Chef sniffed, and glared at the three girls on the stage. "I ain't a fan of girls playin' football!" he yelled. "I give 'em four points."

"Ouch!" Chris said, smiling. "That's it for Team Touchdown. Go on. Next up is Team Democracy!"

Maine, New Hampshire, and Pennsylvania all walked on stage, smiling brightly. They were wearing matching sets of what looked like sci-fi clothing, as though it were inspired by Star Trek or something. The design was sleek and modern, and all tailored by the hands of none other than Delaware.

"Futuristic!" Blaineley squealed feignedly. "So daring! I give these kids an eight!"

"I give 'em a seven," Chef decided, after approximately one second of deciding. "I liked them Star Wars movies."

Chris was scratching his chin. "I dunno, it doesn't look practical. I give it a six. Bring out Team Victory next!"

California, Nevada, and... Oregon all walked on stage. They were all wearing fiery orange dresses. Oregon was blushing furiously, and kept glancing at the curtains behind him, avoiding the judges stares.

"Uh. Oregon? Why are you wearing a dress?"

"...um, Arizona... Arizona didn't want to do it, says - says it's degrading, and there's no other girls, and none of the guys wanted to do it..."

"I love it!" Blaineley screamed. "This is daring! This is _fresh__!_ This is _new!_ Sending Oregon up there says that, _yes_, even _men_ can be fabulous! I give it a ten!"

Chris glanced at Blaineley. "It's nice and all, but... I'm not a fan of the, uh, cross-dressing, even if Oregon doesn't actually want to do it. Our network's gonna get hate mail for this. But, I have to judge, so I'll just give it a th-"

Suddenly, California and Nevada twirled around, letting the full effect come into play. Indeed, it appeared as though they were on _fire_. Even Oregon did a regretted, half-assed spin, blushing madly.

"...fine. I give it a seven."

Chef scratched his chin. "If you just ignore the dude that's standin' in a dress, it looks nice," he grunted. "Eight."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_30_mp3**

"Let me just clear something here. I don't want any rumors about me to start back home. I am _not_ a cross-dresser! I'm not even... not even, um, gay! Arizona didn't want to be a model, and California and Nevada were literally the only willing girls on our team. We'd already finished the designs for the dresses, so we couldn't change them, and absolutely none of the guys wanted to go up in a dress, so... and that's not even to say that _I_ wanted to go up in a dress, I didn't, there just wasn't any time, and Washington kept telling me to follow my heart or whatever, and I knew that if I didn't go up, then our team would lose, and that we can't have three losses when there's a team out there that's had zero, and... I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

Oregon

**11:09 AM.**

The participants from Team Victory all left in a hurry, Oregon especially. "Bring out Team Dakota!" Chris yelled, as the stage finally became empty once more.

North Dakota, South Dakota, and Minnesota all walked on stage, grinning brightly and beautifully, but wearing plain green, red, and blue long dresses. They walked up, and presented themselves.

"That's it?" Chris asked, surprised. "Just... a plain, one-color dress?"

...

"I like it! I give it a seven!" Blaineley cheered.

"Four."

"Meh, five."

"_What__?_" North Dakota screamed. "That's, what, sixteen in total? This is... this is an _outrage__!_ Team _Victory_ got _twenty-five_ points, and one of them was a _guy__!_"

Chris shrugged, grinning. "Hey, you guys played it safe. If you want to make a fashion statement, that is most definitely _not_ what you do. Next!"

Team Dakota stomped off stage. North Dakota's rage could be heard from the other side of the curtain. Chris winced, and yelled, "Bring out Team America! I'm ready to get this finished."

Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Illinois walked on stage. The three guys were wearing huge, plain white t-shirts that went down to their knees, and what looked like large metal bowls on their heads, such that their eyes were completely obstructed from view.

...

...

...

"_What_ are you guys even _wearing?_"_  
><em>

"Kentucky-Bot detects unauthorized voice command!" Kentucky yelled, eyes covered by the insane bowl he was wearing. "Exterminating... at a later date!"

...

"Two."

"Five!" Chef yelled. "Y'all are robots!"

"It's daring..." Blaineley began, unsure. "But... it looks bad. Four."

Stunned, the three men from Team America all retreated to behind the large curtain. "Contestants! You can all come out, now!" Chris yelled into a bullhorn, prompting the forty-three contestants to all come out from behind the curtains, looking wary. A few appeared to have already done the math in their heads, and knew who won. All of the models who had gone out on stage still wore their outfits except for Oregon, who appeared to have immediately taken his off in favor of the tight purple t-shirt he always wore. The several dozen teens waited patiently for Chris do some basic mathematics, and then he spoke.

"Team Victory comes in first place with twenty-five points!"

Cheers went up in the air from that team. Chris smiled, and looked back down at his notepad. "Team Democracy comes in second with twenty-one points, Team Touchdown in third with twenty points, and in fourth place..."

...

"...Team Dakota, with sixteen points! That means Team America, you lost with eleven points! Seriously, guys. What was even _up_ with those outfits?"

Michigan tried to explain, but was cut off by Blaineley shouting into the camera, "Well, it was fun to be on the show! Make sure to check out my newest upcoming show, The Canadian Celebrity Cha-"

"That's enough, Blaineley," Chris muttered, cutting her off. "Teams, into the buses. And Team America? I'll see you ten in voting for the first time! Looks like that no-loss streak of yours has come to an end. Hahahaha!

**6:41 PM.**

"One by one, I want you guys to get into the voting booth!" Chris told Team America as the sun set over a gas station near the state border. The "voting booth" was just a telephone booth, but it seemed soundproof enough. "You'll say who you're voting for. I know this is your first time doing this, so... try not to screw things up too much, alright?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_31_mp3**

"I vote for Kentucky! His idea lost us the challenge! _HEH!_"

West Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_32_mp3**

"Personally, I think this entire thing is stupid, but I _have_ to vote, so... Kentucky. I guess. He's a creep.

Indiana

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_33_mp3**

"West Virginia. I've _tried_ bein' _nice_ to the little kid, but I just can't _stand_ it anymore."

Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_34_mp3**

"Michigan. He's so bossy, and thinks he's right all the time. He needs to learn to give leadership to someone else, because he sure as hell isn't fit for it."

Ohio

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_35_mp3**

"You know what? I pick Ohio. The guy disagrees with everything I say. He's rude, irresponsible, and manipulative. There's no need for that on this team."

Michigan

**6:58 PM.**

Chris frowned at the ten contestants seated in front of him. "The votes are in!" he yelled. "Let me tell you guys how this works. I give you a snack and tell you how many people voted for you. If you get no snacks... that means you got the most votes, and must leave the show in the taxi for the losers. And you can't come back. _Ever_."_  
><em>

A silence went by.

"Indiana. No votes."

A bag of Combos landed in her lap. "Maryland and North Carolina!" Chris then said. "Also no votes. Nice going."

A bottle of water went to each of them. North Carolina squinted at it, and asked, "This is a snack?"

"Hush! Virginia and Wisconsin! No votes for either of you!"

The two caught the candy gratefully. Chris grinned widely at the remaining contestants: West Virginia, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Illinois. "Well, boys, it looks like you got some votes!" he yelled. "That's five of you. Wow. The next bag of Oreos goes to..."

...

"...Illinois! One vote, man."

A bag was thrown. A silence. "The next bag is for..."

...

"...Michigan! Just one vote."

Michigan caught the bag of chips, and glanced around at his team. Chris frowned at Ohio, West Virginia, and Kentucky, and yelled, "The penultimate bag goes to..."

...

"Ohio. One vote. What happened, dude?"

Ohio shrugged, taking the bag of Doritos without qualms. Chris grinned at West Virginia and Kentucky. "Isn't this fun! Battle of the outcasts. The final snack goes to..."

West Virginia glanced around, terrified. Kentucky appeared as though in a permanent state of shock. Chris just smiled, holding the snack higher, and waving it around, drawing out the pause for as long as possible, apparently.

...

...

...

"Kentucky! Three votes."

Kentucky caught the bag of Cheetos, evidently satisfied now. West Virginia glanced around. "Where's mine?"

"Yours is in the loser wagon!" Chris shouted, pointing at a waiting taxi. "You got four votes, dude. Beat it." West Virginia's eyes began to water up. "But what did I _do?_" he cried, waving his arms around as he stood. "I - I tried so hard - I just _can't_ have been the first person voted off this team - who voted for me?"

Chris glanced around. "You want me to tell you?"

"Y - yes..."

Chris looked at his notepad as a few of the contestants sitting on the pavement's eyes grew wide with terror. "Uhhh, I guess I can bend the rules for this. Illinois, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Virginia voted-"

"_Virginia?_" West Virginia asked incredulously, apparently fighting back the tears still. "I... _why?_ I tried _s - so hard_ - to be nice, and... and you voted for me?"

Virginia looked away from West Virginia, looking regretful. West Virginia stood for one moment longer, staring at his team, and stomped off towards the taxi. Chris let out a long whistle as the footsteps receded. "Well," he began, looking shocked, "...that was an interesting episode."

A silence lasted for a few moments, as a car door slammed and the purring of an engine receded.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, and West Virginia.

**aspiringAnimator** - Um, on that note, fun little episode. Let me know what you think via a review, favorite, follow, PM, or carrier pigeon. In addition, the poll for who you're rooting for is still up on my profile! Make your voice heard, or whatever. And, as always, we're updating on Wednesdays and weekends! I'm surprised by the amount of progress I've already made on this fic within the span of about a month! The good kind of surprise. Not the kind where you discover your entire life has been a lie.


	10. The Not Very Civil War

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 9: THE NOT VERY CIVIL WAR**

_"You like New Mexico, don't you?" - Washington_

**Saturday, August 2nd, 2014. Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. 6:59 AM.**

Silence, save for the purring of five charter buses headed south. And then, an alarm clock blared.

New York sleepily extended an arm to slam on the snooze button, and groggily glanced around the bunk room. Below him, Vermont's bunk had rested empty for the past week. Across from New York's bunk bed, Massachusetts slept soundly above Connecticut, who was already up and reading. New York rubbed his eyes, and groaned.

Ugh. _Challenge Day_.

A few steps later, and he was in line for the shower, behind Delaware, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. New Jersey offered to let Delaware go ahead of him three times. Delaware staunchly refused, as she grew more and more irritable as time went on. Within thirty minutes, it was New York's turn to finally enter the shower.

He shampooed his hair, scrubbing it generously as the bus made several shifts that forced him to quickly hold on to something. By the time he was dried off and wearing fresh clothes, it was around eight AM.

"This is your brain..." Massachusetts murmured to himself, standing in his pajamas over the kitchen stove holding an egg. He cracked it, and poured the contents into a frying pan. "...and this is your brain on drugs..."

New York walked in, scratching his back, wearing a fresh brown t-shirt. "What're you making?" he asked.

Massachusetts noticed him, cheery expression faltering slightly at his arrival. "Oh. Omelettes. New Jersey and Maine asked for some the other day."

New York frowned, and took his seat at the couch, frowning. "They did?"

"Well... sort of. Mainly they just surrounded me while I was fixing up my hair two days ago and started yelling 'Omelette Du Fromage!' in silly French accents over and over again. I thought they'd get a kick out of this, when I actually make some..."

New York rubbed his eyes again, and muttered, "You've sure got a weird sense of humor..."

**8:49 AM.**

Team Touchdown's bus steadily made its way through the hills of West Virginia. Inside, Texas sat absentmindedly with Alabama, who had Mississippi sitting on his lap rather awkwardly. "I really miss my phone," Mississippi whined, glancing out the window. Alabama nodded slowly, thinking of something else.

"Hey, y'all," Texas began, glancing around, "where's that Arkansas kid? We had fun playin' poker with him."

Alabama shrugged. "Don't push him. He's probably readin' or somethin' again. What do y'all think we'll be doin' for the challenge today?"

It was now Texas's turn to shrug. "Man, I dunno," he muttered. "Probably somethin' physical. They can't get away with doin' fashion shows every day."_  
><em>

"I liked doin' the fashion show!" Mississippi exclaimed, letting her head fall back on the couch. "We got to dress up an' stuff. Did y'all know Florida's real good at drawin'? She came up with the football designs."

There was a pause. It didn't seem like either of the guys were willing to discuss the design of dresses, no matter how football-themed they were. Mississippi sighed, and retreated to the bunk rooms, presumably to talk all about it with Georgia.

**9:53 AM.**

"Can any of you kids guess where we are?" Chris asked the now forty-two contestants when they'd finally all climbed out of the buses. "I'll give you a hint!" Chris exclaimed, pointing at the small town. "It has to do with history!"

Glances were exchanged. After a length pause, Chris dully said, "No? Well, this is the town of Harpers Ferry, the site of many a battle during the American Civil War. Can anyone guess what we'll be doing today?"

More silence. After a few seconds, New Jersey suggested, "Water balloon fight?"

...

"Go stand in the corner, New Jersey."

"But... yo. We're outside..."

"Then shut up and let me explain today's challenge. Today... we fight."

Chris kicked open several metal chests in front of him, revealing dozens of airsoft guns with ammunition. Chris grinned. "We're doing a civil war reenactment! Each team must defend their zone. There are five zones in the town. We have permission to do this for exactly one hour, so don't let me down, kids. The goal is to defend your location, while focusing on attacking other locations. If you lose your location... then you go to voting for the night. That means the potential for four people to be voted off tonight is real, regardless of how unlikely that is. Just so, there is potential for _nobody_ to be voted off tonight. It all depends on what happens during the battle."

"Oh, yeah. Each pellet has a tiny amount of anesthetic coating the outside of it. Meaning, if you get hit by one, the anesthetic coating the outside should seep into your skin. Don't be alarmed, you'll only be knocked cold for about two hours unless given a special drug that wakes you up, according to my medical Intern. And don't worry, the pellets are plastic. It's not like you'll start bleeding or anything."

A few people began taking guns. Chris smiled, and yelled, "I will give you ten minutes to get guns, get situated, and to find your way to your location. After that, you have fifty minutes to defend and to attack! And, to provide an incentive, since I know you guys love those..."

Plastic crates were lifted from the back of a cargo truck, bearing the inscriptions "TEAM AMERICA" and the such. Inside the boxes, hundreds of small devices sat. Chris grinned wickedly, and yelled, "For every location you control that was not originally yours by the end of the game... you get three days to use your previously confiscated electronics. Additionally, for every location you _liberate_, as in, it was previously captured but you gave it back to the original owner, you get an additional three days. Everyone in the liberated territory will be administered the wake-up drug."

Silence.

And then, every single contestant began plotting on how to take as many territories as possible. Chris smiled satisfactorily at the result, and yelled over the din, "I'll see you guys at lunch time!"

**9:57 AM.**

"Formations! Single file!"

North Dakota, holding a rather large automatic airsoft rifle, led her mock army up towards their assigned location, which was somewhere near a church in the center of town. Her sister walked beside her, carrying double airsoft pistols, and glancing around warily. "There!" she yelped, pointing at a tall steeple in the distance. "That's our church. It looks like we're in the center of town..."

"No matter," North Dakota reminded her sister. "This is the challenge we've been waiting for. Right when the buzzer rings, we attack the closest person to us, and close out all flanks. Then, we work our way towards the other locations."

A few people were shocked at her instant formulation of a plan. North Dakota then yelled, "This isn't a challenge where you sit around! We attack _quickly_ and _without mercy_. Execute all members of the team once the location is captured. And above all? Don't be stupid and get shot."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_36_mp3**

"It's times like these that I really respect my sister. I remember when we were little, she used to have giant toy infantry wars with me, complete with war crime trials afterwards. I have a box of chopped-off toy soldier heads at home. I'm not even kidding about that."

South Dakota

**9:59 AM.**

"So this is our location, huh?" Connecticut asked, glancing around. Team Democracy's hold-out location was a small, empty diner near the railroad tracks. To the north, the Potomac River sleepily made its way east. "I guess we can just hold out here," Massachusetts murmured, sitting on a bar stool. "I'm not sure if we're really up for marching into a territory and fighting. I mean, what do you guys think?"

Pennsylvania shrugged, sitting in a booth with a few of the other girls. New York muttered, "I don't really feel like it. I mean, I'd love to have my phone and all, but... I'm just worn out. Plus, we got in second place last challenge. That's the best we've ever done. I don't think we can top that."

Suddenly, off in the distance, a buzzer rang loud and clear. "That's the start!" Connecticut yelled, raising an airsoft shotgun in shaking hands. "We might have to watch for someone coming."

BRATTA-TAT-TATTA

Pellets battered the windows of the diner. New Jersey, Delaware, and New Hampshire, who were all standing outside, were hit, and within seconds fell on the ground, slumped over. "Get down!" Massachusetts screamed, pulling New York to the floor. More pellets were sprayed at the diner as the door was burst open. Massachusetts readied his pistol, and took aim at the door as he lay on his stomach. Beside him, Pennsylvania slumped onto the tiled floor. New York was hit in the leg, and fell. Massachusetts squinted, and saw a figure move up - he took aim - and shot.

BAP. A pellet struck Kansas in the forehead, letting him fall to the ground. "There's still one awake!" North Dakota screamed. She pointed her machine gun at Massachusetts, and unloaded around eight pellets into his face. His head hit the tile, and the pistol scattered right out of his hands. "Is that everybody? North Dakota asked, looking around the diner. "We lost Kansas," South Dakota murmured, inspecting the teen lying on the ground. "Take the guns from here. Put them in a box!" North Dakota ordered, and Utah and Nebraska immediately got on it. "That's one territory down! Yes!" North Dakota yelled.

**10:04 AM.**

"Did you guys hear that?" Wisconsin asked his team. Team America was situated on the outskirts of town, on a small farm that looked over Harpers Ferry. Ohio shrugged. "It sounded like a lot of popping..." Wisconsin added, readying his shotgun. "Yeah, I heard it too!" Virginia commented. "But the buzzer just rang. I guess someone's already been shot."

Just then, a buzzer rang in the distance, and a voice cried, "Team Dakota has captured Team Democracy's territory! Team Dakota now controls two out of five territories!"

Ohio groaned. "Already? Wow. What do we do?"

"Hold our position!" Virginia simply said, looking down at the town, where several figures patrolled. "Team Dakota may control the town now, but it's up to us to keep them from taking us, too. We stand strong together!"

**10:11 AM.**

Washington was pacing once again. The team was situated on a hillside west of the city. Down below in the town, Chris had just announced that Team Dakota had just captured Team Democracy's territory.

"What should we do? D'you think we need to attack?" New Mexico asked, looking around at his team and holding an assault rifle. Washington looked up. "North Dakota's going to keep attacking. That much is obvious. It looks like she just wanted to take someone by surprise at the start, but I think she'll keep going. Possibly up here. Now, the hard part for her is going to be holding _on_ to her territory."

New Mexico nodded at that slowly, evidently understanding. Washington continued, "She may be headed here soon to try to take our territory. We're all alone up here. I say we attack before she does. If possible... we take Team Democracy's territory, too."

"Can't we, like... liberate them?" Oregon asked politely. "Like, they could be a nice ally."

Washington shrugged, and looked wary. "You can't trust other teams in this situation. We might just be able to take the two territories, and hold on to 'em. Above all, don't get shot."

Nods were exchanged. "Alright. Are you guys ready?" Washington asked. "We march down and take Team Dakota's territory. Make sure nobody escapes, alright?"

"Let's do this!" New Mexico cheered, leading the battle cry. Even California got into it, waving her pistols around like crazy. The eight teens sprinted down the hill towards the town.

**10:16 AM.**

Colorado was patrolling the perimeter of the two territories controlled by Team Dakota, carrying a rather heavy airsoft shotgun. He paused, glancing around. The morning sun rose higher and higher as the day went on, but right now, his duty was to appease the Glorious Leader by defending the territory. Colorado paused, glancing into the woods outside town.

"Swear I saw something..." he murmured, raising his shotgun to point at the trees. Silence for a few moments. "Who goes there?" he yelled, looking into the darkness.

BAP. A sniper shot nailed him in the head. He yelped, but fell down with a thud on the ground. Silence, and then footsteps approached cautiously. "Are you sure he's not fakin', dude?" Hawaii asked walking up with the rest of his team. Washington held out a hand, and inspected Colorado's face. A slight bruise was right in the middle of his forehead. Washington nodded, and said, "He's down. Nice shot, Arizona."

She smiled, and reloaded her rifle with another pellet. "My pleasure. Let's go."

The troops marched deeper into the town, growing ever-more cautious of discovering more troops. "Look sharp!" Washington whispered, pointing carefully more patrols up ahead. It was Minnesota, who seemed to be having a hushed chat with Nebraska. They both looked incredibly afraid, as though either they knew that they were in danger, or that they were doing something they weren't supposed to. "I've got this!" Nevada suddenly exclaimed, rushing forward sneakily. "Wait!" Washington exclaimed, raising a hand. "Don't-"

Suddenly, Minnesota spotted Nevada, who froze. "Fire!" New Mexico shouted, and the eight teens rushed out to attack Minnesota and Nebraska.

The battle was quick, but intense. It ended with Nebraska sprinting off deeper into the town, leaving Minnesota's limp frame lying on the pavement. Washington gasped for breath. "We lose anyone?"

"Nevada," Oregon murmured, looking worried. "She got hit trying to sneak up... and we only took out Minnesota."

"We push forward, and fast," Washington decided, after dragging Nevada's body to a more secluded location. "Nebraska likely warned North Dakota that we're on our way. Come on. We attack!"

The now seven members of Team Victory rushed forwards, guns raised. Ahead, four teenagers stood around; North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah, and Oklahoma all saw Nebraska running up to them - there was a pause - North Dakota pointed towards the approaching army of Team Victory-

BRATTA-TAT-TATTA-TAT-TATTA. Nebraska was hit in the back of the head, and fell.

The firefight roared on. Instantly, Idaho from Team Victory was struck, and fell to the pavement. Oregon took aim at North Dakota, but was almost hit by a huge spray of pellets. A few moments later, and Arizona made the killing shot against Utah. Seconds later, and Oklahoma was down, courtesy of New Mexico. It was happening: Team Dakota was retreating into Team Democracy's diner.

A buzzer rang out, and Chris's amplified voice shouted, "Team Victory captures Team Dakota's original location! Just a reminder, there are thirty minutes remaining!"

"Stand strong!" North Dakota screamed, but was interrupted by a spray of pellets once more - South Dakota was hit, and tumbled to the floor. "Drop the gun, North Dakota!" Washington yelled, running up with his team. Nebraska's body lay on the road. North Dakota was the only surviving member of her team. "Drop the gun, and you don't get shot."

There was an instant of frigid silence. The standoff was strong. Eyes were swiveling between the two. And then North Dakota took aim-

BRATTA-TAT. California squealed loudly as a line of pellets slammed into her. She fell to the ground twitching. "_FIRE!_" Washington cried, and like a firing squad, Team Victory all unloaded upon North Dakota, who fell.

Silence.

And then, a buzzer rang out once more. Chris's voice shouted triumphantly, "Team Victory captures Team Democracy's original location! Team Victory, please raise your hands if you would like to liberate this location back to Team Democracy!"

A pause. By the instruction of Washington, no hands were raised.

"Team Democracy's original location has been captured by Team Victory! Team Victory now controls three out of five territories!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_37_mp3**

"I've got to give Washington props for that. I never knew the kid had it in him. Even though I'm actively plotting every single contestant's demise on my... er, Chris's show, I still respect that kid."

North Dakota

**10:24 AM.**

"Welp, looks like we lost!" Texas cried after hearing Chris's latest announcements. "Team Victory marches over here and takes the remainin' two teams. It's been fun, y'all."

"Now, hold on, it ain't over yet," Alabama cut in. "We still got thirty minutes left in this game. Now, the way I see it, we ain't winnin' this thing on our own. Y'all know what I'm gettin' at here?"

"I think I see what he means," Florida slowly said. "You think we should ally with Team America."

Alabama nodded. "Bingo. I ain't sure if they'll trust us or anythin', but it's our _best_ bet at beatin' Team Victory. Unless you guys wanna sit on our asses and get shot up."

"Hell, no!" Louisiana cheered. "We're the goddamned South!"

"Hell, yeah, we are!" Texas joined in. "We're gonna march right up to Team America and we are gonna _demand_ they help us take _back_ this town!"

Cheers went up in the air. "Then what are we waiting for?" Alabama shouted. "We _march!_"

**10:38 AM.**

Kentucky sat on the ground, absentmindedly picking at blades of grass. Around him, the members of Team America patrolled, keeping a keen eye on the town. It appeared as though Team Victory was busy trying to regroup and figure out what to do next.

"Any visuals?" Virginia asked her team. Ohio squinted in the distance, and frowned. "Negative. Everyone's just grouped up in the middle of town... wait."

Virginia glanced back at Ohio. "What?"

"...there's a ton of people... oh, God, I think Team Touchdown wants to fight."

"Positions, everybody!" Virginia screamed, and everybody got in a defensive stance, awaiting Team Touchdown's arrival. "Stand your ground!" Virginia shouted at the approaching team, but... they all had their hands up. "We come in peace!" Alabama shouted at Team America. "We seek to ally!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_38_mp3**

"Allyin' Team America may have been the best idea my boyfrien's had on this show yet. Team America's real nice! I never knew."

Mississippi

**10:42 AM.**

"Liberation, huh?" Virginia mused, thinking it over. Alabama looked at her expectantly. "We liberate Team Democracy and take Team Dakota's territory. Then, we take over Team Victory's. It's a flawless plan. We saw Team Victory, and they only have like _five people_. There's no way they can hold onto three territories."

Virginia was just nodding slowly at Alabama's plan. The two teams seemed to be mingling at the moment, particularly the girls. Arkansas found companionship in Michigan and Wisconsin. North Carolina was finally reunited with her sister, South Carolina. "Okay..." Virginia murmured. "Okay. We'll do it. On one condition."

"Lay it on me."

"We liberate Team Dakota."

...

"...why? North Dakota attacked first."

"Because," Virginia explained, "we can use the fact that we liberated her team for strategy later on. You know... get on her good side. If she's smart, someone like North Dakota is likely to be a finalist later in the game."

Alabama nodded. "Alright. We ready to go? We only got like twenty minutes to do this."

"Let's go!" Ohio cheered, as the two teams were united. "For freedom!"

Cheers of "_For freedom!_" went up in the air, as the two teams of nine marched down to the town.

**10:45 AM.**

The Battle of Harpers Ferry. August 2nd, 2014. Almost eleven AM.

A century and a half had passed since a battle was fought here. But now, it was time to go to war once again.

The teams of America and Touchdown marched forwards, propelled by sheer patriotism and a thrill for battle.

Of course, down in Team Victory, things were much, much different.

"I have a really, really bad feeling about this," Oregon worried, looking towards the hills. Washington glanced over at him. "We'll be fine. Remember, we have sheer size on our side. We control three territories. Each of their teams only controls one."

"But..." Oregon began, "that's the thing. We have to protect three territories, and we only have five people..."

"Shush," Washington muttered, reloading his assault rifle. "We'll be fine. I'll protect you if the need rises."

Oregon looked slightly grateful at that, smiling shyly. And then, the need arose.

BRATTA-TAT-TATTA. The sound of machine guns filled the air, as eighteen teenagers ran down the hills towards the town. Oregon was struck, and fell over without so much as a yelp. "Augh!" Washington screamed as his friend fell over. "_Fuck!_ No! _Oregon!_ Oh, God..."

Washington began sprinting back towards town, jumping over the limp frames of fallen members of Team Dakota along the way. "Retreat!" Washington screamed at Arizona and New Mexico, who were chatting along in the middle of the street. "They got Oregon! _Retreat!_"

Hawaii attempted taking a few shots at the approaching army, but there were just too many of them. And just like that, Team Dakota's original territory was retaken.

"Team America has taken Team Dakota's original territory!" a loudspeaker declared moments later. "Team America! Would you like to liberate this territory? Raise your hands if you would!"

Hands were raised, although slightly uncertainly. Chris declared, "Team Dakota's territory has been liberated! Team Dakota is back in the game!"

"You sure that was such a good idea?" Ohio asked Virginia, who waved him down as college interns rushed into the streets, administering anti-sleep drugs to all those who had fallen on Team Dakota. "It'll help us later on. I can promise you that," Virginia assured him.

A few minutes went by, and then the members of Team Dakota began to stir again. Nebraska groggily awoke. "Is it over?" he asked stupidly, glancing around from the pavement where he laid. "You're back in the game!" Texas announced to the now awoken team. "Now, we take the diner!"

Within minutes, Team Touchdown retook the diner, shooting down Arizona in the process, horrifying New Mexico. "Yes!" Tennessee shouted, as the territory was retaken. "We did it!"

"Team Touchdown has taken Team Democracy's territory!" Chris's amplified voice yelled. "Team Touchdown, please raise your hands if you would like to liberate this territory back to Team Democracy!"

"I never thought I'd be helping out a bunch of Yankees..." Texas muttered, raising his hands. Within moments, the interns appeared once more, administering wake-up drugs to the fallen members of Team Democracy. And minutes, later, they were awake. "What happened?" Massachusetts asked sleepily. "It's not over, is it?"

"You guys've been liberated," Texas explained dully. "We're busy trying to beat Team Victory into the hole they belong in. You guys with us?"

"What?" Massachusetts asked, fearful. "Why Team Victory? No! Team Dakota took us over! Get them!"

Texas raised a shotgun and pointed it at Massachusetts's face, as the other members of Team Democracy awoke. "If you don't help us, we'll shoot you all right here and now," Texas explained calmly.

...

"...okay, fine, we'll... help."

"Good. Now, to take Team Victory's territory!"

After enough people had risen, it was decided to lead the march to Team Victory's territory, the hillside west of town. By now, only three contestants remained from that team: Washington, Hawaii, and New Mexico. Thirty-four contestants, the added manpower of four fully awoken armies, marched upwards to exterminate the three from Team Victory who resisted.

"Oh, my God..." Washington muttered, as the sound of stomping boots approached. "Jeeesus. Why are they attacking us? And why did they resurrect North Dakota's army? She was planning to take them out!"

"I don't know, bro," Hawaii said, looking desperate at the town below. "But I think we should surrender."

"No!" Washington yelped. "If we do, we go to voting! We stand our ground. The timer should be up in ten minutes..."

"You think we can hold our own against thirty people?" New Mexico asked, skeptical. "We surrender."

Washington looked at the approaching teens, who were raising their guns at the three. "Agh... I wish there was a way out of this... I mean, they're all ganging up on _us!_ Even Team Democracy."

"Surrender now!" North Dakota exclaimed, leading the march. "Washington, New Mexico, and Hawaii! Surrender now, or you will be shot!"

They were surrounded. Hawaii and New Mexico put their guns down. North Dakota smirked, and pointed hers at Washington. "Does this seem familiar? Seriously, though. Drop the gun."

Washington glanced at New Mexico and Hawaii, who nodded, with their hands in the air. He cautiously set his assault rifle on the grass, and raised his hands above his head.

"Good."

BAP-BAP-BAP. New Mexico, Hawaii, and Washington were all shot in the forehead by members of Team Dakota. "Wait, what the hell, North Dakota?" New York yelled. "They surrendered! You weren't supposed to shoot them!"

"Team Dakota has captured Team Victory's original location! Just in time, too!" Chris's amplified voice cried. "The round is over! I will tally up how many days you kids get to use your electronics!"

There was a silence, as North Dakota smirked, having gained an extra three days to use electronics for her team. Virginia was looking regretful about liberating Team Dakota now. "Alright!" Chris yelled, approaching from the town in person. "That was awesome! Team Dakota! You get three days to use your electronics. Team Touchdown, for liberating one territory, you get three days, and Team America gets three days for liberating a territory. Team Victory is going to the chopping block tonight, it looks like!"

Silence.

And then, the phones were distributed to the teams. Cheers were in the air.

**12:49 PM.**

"My head..." Oregon murmured, lying on the couch of Team Victory's speeding bus. "It feels like someone shot me... like, with a real gun..."

Washington was sitting at the kitchen table, head in his hands. "Yeah... I can't believe we lost. This sucks. What'd we do wrong?"

New Mexico walked in with an ice pack on his forehead. "Well, we didn't liberate Team Democracy. That would probably have helped," he muttered. Washington nodded. "Yeah. I feel bad about that now. We really could have used, like, what? Eight extra people? By the time we defeated Team Dakota, we were down to five. Still not sure why everyone decided to gang up on us in the end."

...

"So... who do we vote off?" New Mexico inquired. "Everyone kind of did their part."

Washington shrugged, groaning with the physical effort. "I dunno. I don't want to think about it."

...

"So... who should we _not_ vote for? Y'know, just so I know how not to get on your bad side..."

Washington glanced at New Mexico, who was twiddling his thumbs and looking at the carpeted floor. Oregon looked up at the absence of noise. "I'm not a bad guy, New Mexico," Washington informed him. "I'm not going to vote someone off just because I don't like them or whatever. I'm not North Dakota..."

...

"...okay, fine. I'll make a list for you on who not to vote for."

Washington hastily scribbled it down on a piece of paper, and handed it to New Mexico. He carefully took it.

OREGON, NEW MEXICO, ARIZONA

"...this is a list?" New Mexico asked. Washington nodded. "These are the only people?"

Washington nodded again, eyes closed and head lying back. New Mexico chuckled, looking at the list. "Wow. I'm flattered. You don't really get attached to people, huh?"

A shake of the head from Washington, who then quietly said, "I try to take a rational approach to this show. If I let emotions get in the way, my chances of winning fall. My goal is to think objectively and without bias. And, that's not to say I don't have friends, by the way. I like everyone on this team right now. Those people," Washington gave a glance at New Mexico, "are the people who I specifically _wouldn't_ want you to vote off."

**7:01 PM.**

Chris smiled, looking at the eight teens in a rather large parking lot of a local grocery store in the outskirts of West Virginia. "You guys have a lot of firsts!" he yelled. "First team to lose their second person. First team to lose their _third_ person! Very exciting. When I call your name, you get a snack, yadda-yadda-yadda. You guys know the drill. I'll begin."

...

"Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington! No votes!"

Chris tossed packs of gum to each person he mentioned. He then proceeded to look deviously at the remaining four contestants: Idaho, Hawaii, California, and Nevada.

"Each of you got at least one vote! Uh oh, you might be saying. Why me? Well, I dunno. People just dislike you, I guess."

...

"Hawaii! One vote, brother."

A bag of gummy worms went to Hawaii, which he immediately opened. Chris grinned at the remaining three.

...

"Idaho! One vote! I've got some smarties right here."

The Canadian candy was tossed to Idaho, who took it appreciatively. There were only two contestants remaining: California and Nevada. Nevada glanced nervously around, while California smiled as though she were the star of the show now. "This is the last snack!" Chris yelled, pointing at a bottle of Gatorade in his hands. "This will grant you life! Freedom! But there's one bottle... and two of you."

Nothing. California kept her bright smile on. "No?" Chris said, slightly disappointed. "You don't care that you might be voted against?"

California glanced around at her team. "Isn't this some sort of election?" she asked, still smiling.

...

Everyone stared at her.

...

...

...

"I'm gonna regret this," Chris muttered, "but the last snack goes to California. Two votes."

California caught the Gatorade cheerfully. "Yaaay! Which one of you wants to be Vice President?"

Nevada stood, holding back the tears. "Sorry, Nevada," Chris mumbled. "You got four votes. Pack up your stuff, and hop in the cab of losers!"

A shy, "Bye, guys," was elicited from her, as tears welled up in her eyes. A few people avoided her gaze. She hesitated, and then ran into the bus to get her things. Chris smiled his famous, most likely copy-written smile, and said, "Well! Team Victory dwindles down to seven members. Who's next? What challenge will we have next Wednesday? Find out the answer to all of these questions, and more, on the next episode of: The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

**10:28 PM.**

It was late at night. Team Victory's bus followed the other buses, heading west to the next destination of Nevada. Oregon was busy sketching something out in his sketchpad, while Arizona and Washington sat across from each other at the kitchen table, playing "Who Am I", the game where you write something on the other person's forehead, and you have to guess what's on your forehead.

On Arizona's forehead, the word New Mexico sat. On Washington's forehead, Arizona had written Joseph Stalin.

...

"Am I a lady?" Washington asked. Arizona shook her head, and then asked, "Am I someone I know in real life?"

"Yes," Washington replied. "Am I someone who is currently alive?"

"Nope. Am I someone on this team?"

"Yes... jeez, I gave you an easy one. Am I a past president?"

"No. Am I... Oregon?"

"Wrong," Washington replied, grinning. "Now answer me this. Did I... live in the 1900's?"

"...yes. Am I you?"

"No, that'd be pretty conceited of me. Am I Winston Churchill?"

"Nope. Am I _me?_"

"Wrong again, Arizona. Am I... did I live in Europe?"

"I think so. Am I New Mexico?"

...

"...yes. Jesus, Arizona, you're pretty good at this."

Arizona took the note card off her forehead. Her face fell. "Um... just speaking in strict confidentiality here..." she muttered, looking at the name and glancing around. Only Oregon was in the room with them.

There was a pause. Washington then spoke.

"You like New Mexico, don't you?"

...

"No! Well... I mean, sort of... how'd you know?"

"Uh... lucky guess. But, hypothetically speaking, what if I told you he's _also_... shown attraction to you?"

Arizona looked uncertain. "I mean... well, since we're speaking purely hypothetically here... I would be interested in seeking companionship, but did he really say that to you?"

...

"Yep."

...

Arizona stood. "I think I need to go talk with him again. Thanks, Washington."

Washington gave a little wave as she walked out. "My pleasure. Good luck."

Oregon watched her stride out the room, and whistled. "Wow. You're a matchmaker, huh?" Washington glanced over at Oregon, and muttered, "I thought about what you said, about couples uniting teams, and I think it could be useful. This is just an experiment to see how well it works."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, and Nevada.

**aspiringAnimator **- I officially need challenge ideas! While I have challenges for every single upcoming episode, I don't like some of them. Having fifty contestants means having like fifty challenges, and some of them are frankly quite dull. Send me ideas via review (preferably) or PM, whatever. I just need some good ones. The more interesting a challenge is, the more fun it is to write for! Look at this one, for instance. Military strategy? Hells of yes. Not only was this episode fun to write for, it was also one of the longest ones to date. So send in your ideas! Chances are, if it's good, it'll end up in the fic, blazoned down for all to see for eternity.

Also, the poll is still up, for voting on which contestant you're rooting for! It's at my profile if you wanna vote.


	11. Deserted in the Desert

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and Wisconsin.

**EPISODE 10: DESERTED IN THE DESERT**

_"So, does this mean we're actually together?" - Arizona_

**Wednesday, August 6th, 2014. Mojave Desert, Nevada. 10:12 AM.**

Five buses sped through the desert landscape of eastern Nevada. Most people were exhausted after the previous challenge, which featured just too much running around and physical activity. However, three teams enjoyed a little recreation: Teams America, Touchdown, and Dakota all had gained three total days to use electronics.

Well, mostly, anyways.

North Dakota had confiscated her team's electronics.

"We won it as a team!" Minnesota exclaimed, pointing at a plastic container holding dozens of phones. North Dakota glanced up at from her phone to look at Minnesota with a sneer. "No, I did. Besides, we can't have you contacting the outside world. It's too dangerous... for you, I mean. I wouldn't want you to find out what people are saying about you..."

Minnesota's eyes grew wide. "Wait, what? What are people saying about me?"

North Dakota shrugged. "Doesn't matter. But, according to this poll right here, I'm the fifth most talked about contestant on this show... I'm not sure where you on this list, but maybe you'll find a comfortable position near the bottom..."

With that, North Dakota turned, and sat down on the couch, flicking her finger over her phone. Minnesota scoffed, and turned to South Dakota. "Can you help me?"

South Dakota appeared wary, and glanced at her sister cautiously. "Uhhh... I don't know, Minnesota... if North Dakota says..."

"But you can use _your phone__!_" Minnesota exclaimed, pointing at a slight bulge in South Dakota's pocket. North Dakota noticed the conversation, and exclaimed from the couch, "That's because she's my _sister_, and is the only person on this team that I actually _like_. Now stop complaining and shut up."

Minnesota glared at North Dakota, yet retreated to the bunk rooms. She met with Nebraska briefly.

"Any good?" he asked in a low whisper. She shook her head. "Nope. No good. She's a tyrant."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_39_mp3**

"Okay, I admit it, and I'd better do this quickly before North Dakota notices I'm using the confessional. Nebraska and I are plotting to overthrow North Dakota. I was the one who voted for North Dakota. There, I said it. She's insane. She acts like she's a dictator. With her kind of attitude and reckless behavior, everyone on this team will end up being kicked off before we even merge, including me. This isn't just me trying to take power. This is Nebraska and I saving this team."

Minnesota

**11:03 AM.**

"I have a fan base of two hundred thousand people..."

Texas was gaping at his cell phone, which had finally been freed from its plastic container after the previous challenge. Fan sites were already up. Fan fictions had been hastily written. "Yo! Al!" Texas yelled. Alabama was cuddling with Mississippi over on the bus's couch. "What's up, Tex?" Alabama asked.

"What's Texabama mean? People've got all these stories on this website. Ahahahaha! Some of 'em are about me."

Alabama stood to take a look at Texas's phone, and told him, "I dunno. Texabama means we're on the same team or somethin'. Hey, check this out, y'all. I got twenty thousand followers on Twitter... man, I wish we could use these phones durin' the whole show. We're celebrities now. I bet my folks bought me a limousine already."

Texas nodded, reading the fic further. He frowned. "I dunno, dude, some of this looks like it's in another language. What's 'yaoi' mean? I think it's Chinese."

Alabama shrugged, and looked out the window. "We're in the desert now. Looks like one of them western movies..."

South Carolina waltzed in, and chimed, "Hey, y'all! We're in Nevada now! Chris said we'll be there soon, I think!"

"Good," Texas muttered, setting down his phone. "As much as I like playin' on my phone, sittin' in buses for three days straight kinda tends to get to your head. What's the challenge?"

"I ain't sure," South Carolina admitted, peering out the blinds. "But... it looks like we're in the middle of nowhere..."

**11:57 AM.**

Five buses sat idle in the middle of the Mojave Desert in southern Nevada. The hot August sun beamed down upon everyone, a sweltering heat that probably would've made Alaska collapse within moments, if she were still here. Chris was wearing a thin tank top, and shades. He seemed to be enjoying the sun. "Good afternoon, contestants! First things first. For the teams that won their electronics for the past three days, they are being confiscated as I speak. You might get them back later this season. I'm not too sure! I don't particularly care if you get to play with your phones or not."

A number of Interns were rummaging through the buses now. A few teenagers were forced to take theirs out of their pockets and give them up. Chris smiled, and continued, "Would you like to know why you're standing in the middle of the Mojave Desert, without civilization in sight?"

Nobody said anything. A few people shrugged. Chris's grin vanished. "Okay, fine, be that way. Your challenge is to get to Las Vegas. Do you know which direction Las Vegas is in? No! Do you know how far away from Las Vegas you are? No! First team to bring everyone from their team wins. Last team loses, and goes to voting. It's a simple challenge, kids! Just make your way through the desert."

A pause. Chris then waved. "Bye!" he yelled, and hopped into his limousine. Moments later, the five buses geared up, and sped away, reduced to nothing more than a cloud of dust in the distance.

Silence.

Forty-one teenagers were in the middle of the desert all by themselves, all alone, with no water, no food, and no shelter.

...

And then, the worst idea unimaginable was suggested by none other than Kentucky.

"Let's split up!"

A brief pause, as a few people glanced at him. And then, the five teams began walking their separate ways.

**12:20 PM.**

"Christ, it's hot..."

Oregon was waving his hand madly at his face. Washington had his shirt off, and was wearing it as a hood. "It's not so bad, guys!" New Mexico exclaimed. "I mean, yeah, it's a long distance, and we aren't sure where we are, but the temperature's not _that_ bad!"

Arizona walked comfortably right beside New Mexico. There seemed to be a connection between the two contestants. "I've felt worse heats," she mused. "We're probably one of the best teams suited for this challenge."

"Speak for yourself," Washington gasped, trudging slightly behind the others. "It's so scorchingly hot. I'm not sure what Chris is thinking. How's he going to film this? I don't see any camera crews, and it's not like there are microphones embedded in the sand..."

"He has his ways of filming," Hawaii informed wisely. "You'd be surprised by what they come up with these days, dudes. Yo, I wouldn't be surprised if we're being filmed by satellite or something."

"So, we're, like, being filmed all the time?" California asked, wearing a big pair of sunglasses. "Oooh! Neat! It's like we're on one of those reality shows!"

...

**12:29 PM.**

"...furthermore, if the sun is directly overhead, but moving at a rate of fifteen degrees across the sky per hour, we should really only need to wait for twenty minutes to find out which direction it's going, and figure out which direction Las Vegas is from here!"

Massachusetts finished his speech. Everyone stared at him.

...

"I don't follow that at all," Connecticut deadpanned. Massachusetts sighed, and announced, "Look, guys. All we really need to do is wait for twenty minutes. We prop something up, and watch its shadow move. Right now, the sun is almost in the middle of the sky, so... we can't figure out which direction north is. New York predicted we're north-east from Nevada, just judging on the geography, which is... really, really flat."

Everyone glanced around. Indeed, most of the other teams had already ran off in whichever direction they deemed fit. The horizon could be almost seen clearly, apart from some mountains to the west. "It seems like kind of a bad idea to just sit here for twenty minutes, though..." New Jersey worried. "And it is really... really hot."

Massachusetts shook his head sporadically. "Nope. Everyone else likely went in the wrong direction. Once we know which direction we're facing, we can work out which was Las Vegas is. Trust me on this, you guys. This could be the challenge that we _actually_ _win_."

**1:11 PM.**

One PM. Team America slowly trudged north through the desert.

"We need water..." Michigan gasped. Even Ohio nodded in agreement. Everyone was sweating profusely. "Why... why didn't Chris let us bring any... supplies?"

"I don't know," Virginia honestly answered. "He's... he's a maniac, he is. Where are we... where are we going?"

The team stopped to look around. All around, a flat expanse of plain sand extended as far as the eye could see. Wisconsin scratched his head, and muttered, "We're going to... to Vegas. I wish we had a map... I'm really good with maps..."

The sun beamed down on the nine teenagers. "Maybe we should take a break?" North Carolina suggested. Nods were shared, and the team sat down for a quick break.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_40_mp3**

"This show is stupid. The prize isn't even worth it anymore. Like, _oh__, I'm so sorry we couldn't trek hundreds of miles in the middle of the desert, Chris_. These challenges we're being forced to do are such a waste of time. I'm just here so I can get away from my parents."

Indiana

**2:04 PM.**

"Nah, man, I'm _tellin'_ you. They got a _freshman_ on the 2014 'Bama roster. David Cornwell. Look 'em up."

"Alabama's losin' this year. Hate to break it to ya, Al."

"No we ain't! And don't start spoutin' 'bout LSU again. They're dirty cheats."

"LSU's got Jared Foster. Dude's built like a freight train. Ain't no way you can put someone like David Cornwell 'gainst him. Never even heard of that dude before. That's how bad Alabama's gonna suck this year."

"Tex, you don't know _nothin'_ 'bout football. Your team couldn't catch a _fly ball_."_  
><em>

"Fly balls are from baseball, idiot! An' you know I don't go for Texas. LSU's gonna win this year, Bama. Y'all'd better mark my words."

"Whatever, man. Where are we?"

The two guys stopped. They'd been separated from their team. All around them, dry sands extended as far as the eye could see.

...

"We lost?"

"No we ain't, Tex. I bet if we had a, uh, circumference, we could figure out-"

"Circumferences are for circles, dummy!"

"Earth _is_ a circle!"

"You think Earth is a circle? Like a CD? Man, you're a special kind of stupid..."

"You _know_ what I mean, Tex. It's a ball. Where's my girl at?"

"Mississippi? Probably with all them other girls. And Arkansas. I bet he's rollin' in the chicks now."

"Dude, he's gay. I swear on my life."

"You kiddin', Al? That dude's got it good with Florida. Winkin' at each other an' shit."

"That's probably 'cause Florida's a lesb-"

"Wait, shut up, Alabama-"

"No, I'm tellin' you, they probably got a pact or somethin'-"

"Shut up! I hear somethin'!"

Alabama and Texas, all alone in the middle of the Mojave desert, stopped to listen. "You hear that?" Texas asked, glancing around at the flat landscape. Alabama scrunched his face up in concentration, and muttered, "Sounds like... sounds like cars or somethin'... we near a highway?"

"Hell, yeah, it's a highway! We're gonna hitch hike our way out of this mess. C'mon, Al! Wait 'til we see everyone's faces when we get there before everyone else."

**3:13 PM.**

Team Dakota stood on a tall hill, squinting around at their surroundings. All around, flat sands extended, apart from the small hill they stood upon. "That's it," North Dakota sighed. "We're going to die out here."

Nobody said anything, as talking immediately after the Glorious Leader is generally frowned upon.

"Wait. I just remembered."

North Dakota snapped her fingers, and grinned slyly. She reached into her pocket, and produced a small cellphone with a blue case. "I may have saved one before Chris took them all again."

Minnesota gaped. "Isn't that mine?"

"Yep. Is that a problem?"

Eyes were swiveling between the two girls. Minnesota shrugged, but glared at North Dakota. "No, no problems here." North Dakota nodded haughtily in satisfaction, and tapped into the phone's GPS system.

...

"We're about six miles from Las Vegas. It's should be over past those hills westwards."

Whoops went up in the air, as South Dakota worriedly whispered to her sister, "Are you sure this is such a good idea? You know we aren't supposed to use cell phones, Chris took them all..."

North Dakota waved her down as the team began to move again. "Relax," she whispered back. "This is Minnesota's phone. If there's a problem, Chris will blame her. Now let's hurry."

**4:50 PM.**

"I see it!" Pennsylvania suddenly yelled to her team as the eight ran south. "I see Las Vegas! Don't you guys see the buildings?"

Sure enough, tall buildings dotted the landscape up ahead. Team Democracy was growing close. "Haha! _Yes__!_ We're actually gonna win this thing!" New York cheered. Within half an hour, Team Democracy would be the first to reach the city, winning their first challenge for the very first time. The other teams, however... were far from getting anywhere _near_ civilization._  
><em>

A hazy sun began to dip below the sun-bleached horizon. Team Democracy had arrived in the designated location in Las Vegas. Team Victory had arrived less than an hour later by sheer luck, after heading in the same direction and then promptly turning around after several hours. An hour later, and Team Dakota arrived, after being aided by the GPS system North Dakota slyly kept. Only teams America and Touchdown remained.

The teams that _did_ arrive, however, were enjoying a pretty nice party in the parking lot of a motel. Team Victory and Team Democracy were playing a huge round of Truth or Dare using a spun bottle. By the orders of North Dakota, Team Dakota was sitting in a circle away from everyone. Doing nothing.

A bottle was spun, and pointed at Connecticut. "Truth or dare!" New Jersey declared, having just ripped a twenty dollar bill as his dare. "Truth," Connecticut stammered.

"What's your real name, bro?"

"WRONG QUESTION!" Chris screamed, running up and pointing at New Jersey. "You do _not_ ask contestants to reveal their names! Ever! Go stand in the corner, New Jersey!"

"But... yo. We're outside..."

"Then shut up and don't ask that question again."

A brief silence. Connecticut grinned, and grabbed the bottle. "Guess I don't have to answer that." He spun, and it pointed at California, who yelped in glee. "Truth or dare," Connecticut said.

"Dare!" she exclaimed back.

"I dare you to... convincingly act as though Massachusetts is your boyfriend."

"What?" Massachusetts yelped, startled. "Aw, no... man, why me?"

"Okay!" California consented, and walked up to Massachusetts, quickly stating, "You may be short and on the other team and gay and wear dorky sweater vests all the time, but you're really cute and I want to be your girlfriend!"

"He's gay?" a few people from Team Victory asked simultaneously.

"For the last time, I'm not g-"

"You win, California!" Connecticut exclaimed. "You get to spin the bottle now."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_41_mp3**

"I wouldn't _really_ want to date what's-his-name. It'd be like a cheerleader dating a kid from the Astronomy club or something. Gross. I didn't want to be mean, though. And he _is_ cute."

California

**4:57 PM.**

As Massachusetts blushed furiously, California clapped her hands in evident happiness, and reached for the bottle on the pavement. She spun. It landed on Arizona. "Truth or dare!" California asked her fellow teammate.

"Truth," the redheaded, tanned girl responded.

"Is it true that you're into New Mexico?"

There was a dead silence. Everyone was listening intently. Arizona fidgeted uncomfortably, and stammered, "Well, I mean, that's not... this isn't a good question..."

"It's a yes or no question, Arizona," Washington reminded, clearly intrigued. She looked around, and sighed.

"Um... yes..."

Silence. And then, the party was interrupted by two interlopers riding in the back of a pickup truck.

"YEE-HAW!"

A rusty red truck skidded into the motel parking lot. Texas and Alabama were standing in the back of it, riding it like a bull. The driver, a Hispanic-looking man with wrinkly skin and a toothy smile, let the truck come to a halt in the middle of the parking lot. "Aw, damn, there's already people here!" Alabama yelled, hopping out. "Hey, uh, 'muchas gracias, salvador'," Texas called after the driver, who waved and drove off. "So what'd we miss?" Alabama asked the thirty-something people already arrived.

...

"Where's the rest of your team?" Chris asked after a length pause. Texas and Alabama exchanged glances, and shrugged. "Why's it matter? We made it."

"You were supposed to arrive _with your entire team_. Where'd they go?"

"I dunno!" Alabama admitted, scratching his neck. "Arkansas's with 'em. They're probably fine."

"'Probably fine?'" Chris asked, unbelieving. "_Probably fine?_ If they're out there _dead_ or something, _I don't have any contestants! _What do you think happens to the ratings when like seven people are _dead__?_ Huh? What happens then?"

The argument was interrupted by a huge chant of "WE'RE HERE!"

Seven figures were rushing towards the motel from the distance. Chris's worried frowned instantly turned into a bright smile. "Oh, good. Team Touchdown finally pulls through. I was worried for a second there."

Florida, leading the Arkansas and the five girls, walked up, gasping. "We made it... we actually made it... we're not the last ones, are we?"

"Unfortunately, you are!" Chris confirmed, smiling widely. "Team Democracy came in first, as they were the first ones to make it here! Team Victory second, Team Dakota third, and-"

"What about Team America?" Oregon suddenly asked, looking around.

There was a pause. And then Chris gave himself a facepalm. "Oh. I forgot about them. Where _are_ they?"

The thirty-two people all stood in absolute silence, listening into the night. The moon began to rise over the motel, creating an eerie glow over the entire scene.

...

"Well, they'll probably make it back fine, right?"

Shrugs were exchanged. Chris smiled, and yelled, "Well! That was a fun episode, I think! Kids, into the buses. Having Team America lost in the wilderness means we get to save on gas prices! I'll see _you_ guys this weekend."

**11:42 PM.**

Silence.

Nine teenagers all sat in a semi-circle around Chris, who was frowning his sternest, yet TV-appropriate frown at the kids.

"_Three_ search-and-rescue teams."

...

"_Fourteen_ phone calls."_  
><em>

...

"_Six_ hours of _my life_ that _I_ can't get back while I was forced to track you kids down."

...

...

...

"Do _none_ of you care?!" Chris yelled.

The members of Team America glanced at each other cautiously. Chris shook his head again at the kids, and mentioned, "Y'know, I could just kick _all_ of you off right now. We could say you guys never found your way out of the wilderness. I bet the producers would've bought that. But... we've already done the voting. One of you is going home tonight. Serves you guys right."

...

"These votes are all over the place, by the way. It's like you're not even specifically targeting anyone else. Illinois, North Carolina, and Virginia. Zero votes. You three were literally the _only_ ones to not get any votes."

...

"Don't we get snacks?" Virginia asked tentatively. "Quiet!" Chris yelled, clearly not in the mood. "Not after what you nine put me through trying to find you guys. Now, the rest of you..."

Ohio, Maryland, Indiana, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Kentucky all sat. Chris grinned evilly, and continued, "...the rest of you got at least one vote."

...

"Maryland. Just one vote."

No snacks were thrown to her, as she sighed slightly. It seemed like nobody was safe. Chris yelled in a bored expression, "Michigan and Ohio! You both got one vote. Wonder why."

The two exchanged glances, evidently suspicious of the other. Chris smiled at the result, and looked at the remaining contestants. Indiana, Wisconsin, and Kentucky. "Really, I'm surprised this person is going home," Chris mused, looking casually at his fingernails. "I mean, there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's just, hey, this person got the most votes. Doesn't make sense. But someone's got to take the blame."

...

"Kentucky. One vote. You're safe, man."

Kentucky pumped his fist, mumbling, "Yeah..." to nobody in particular. It was left to Indiana and Wisconsin now. Indiana had a bored expression on her face. Wisconsin was fearful, and glanced around the empty parking lot in which Chris had designated their team for the elimination ceremony.

"One of you got two votes, and the other got three votes!" Chris shouted, clearly trying to amp up the tension to the audience. "It was a difference of just _one__ vote_."

...

...

...

"The final snack - er, not snack, just a declaration of safety - goes to..."

...

"...Indiana."

The girl looked slightly surprised. Wisconsin frowned, and stood up. "Thanks for playing!" Chris yelled after him. "Hope you had fun. Or maybe not. I don't particularly care. Just don't get dirt on the bus when you leave."

Wisconsin gathered his things, and departed for the taxi without another word. Chris's eyebrows were high up on his forehead, as the teen got in the taxi with a slam of the door. "Well! Down to eight people, Team America!" Chris declared. "Hope you guys have better luck next time. Losing two challenges almost right next to each other... not a good sign."

Chris gave a friendly, albeit menacing wave to the members of Team America climbed back into their bus in silence. "See you guys this weekend! Hahahahaha!

**12:06 AM.**

Team Victory's bus. Past midnight. The five buses steadily made their way north-east through the Mojave Desert, heading for whatever challenge awaited in Wisconsin.

Most people had retired to the bunk rooms for sleep. Only Arizona and Hawaii remained in the living room. Arizona was attempting to draw, while Hawaii was just fixing himself up a late-night snack.

"What a nightmare..." Arizona mumbled to herself, erasing a smudge on the parchment. Hawaii glanced over, and asked, "What's that, now?"

"That stupid... party..."

"Oh. You mean how you... uh..."

Arizona nodded in reply, pencil hovering precariously in mid-air above the paper. "You don't think he actually likes me back, do you?" she asked, turning her head to look at Hawaii. He shrugged. "I dunno. I mean... he might've mentioned it once or twice. Y'know... the notion of wanting to go out with you..."

"But why won't he say it to me?" she asked, head in her hands. "I mean... he didn't _seem_ like a shy guy, but-"

New Mexico suddenly appeared in the doorway, looking incredibly apprehensive. Hawaii noticed what was going on, and stammered, "Yeah, uh, I'm just gonna go... back into the bunk rooms..."

Hawaii absconded towards the bedrooms, leaving Arizona alone with New Mexico.

There was a brief silence. And then, New Mexico spoke.

"Hey... Arizona."

"Um... hi."

New Mexico elected to sit across from Arizona at the kitchen table. He looked her earnestly in the eyes. He'd even taken off his customary shades.

"I was... y'know, thinkin' about... about our time together..."

New Mexico seemed to be having trouble getting the words, out, but plowed on nonetheless. "About, like... me and you. You've been a great friend to me. But... you and I both know that there's not much time on these shows. If Team Victory lost again... I couldn't imagine what it'd be like without having you to talk to. You've been amazing, and I can't help but wonder if we could be... um... something... more?"

Arizona seemed awed by New Mexico's speech. After a brief pause, she slowly stated, "New Mexico... I don't know what to say. I... I mean, I feel the same way... sure, we may have to deal with dehumanizing challenges every few days, but I do know that there's one thing to make our time on this show better..."

"What?"

"...this."

Arizona leaned in, and kissed New Mexico from across the table, a brief, yet passionate kiss that only served to solidify the bond between the newly formed couple. New Mexico leaned out of it, and smiled somewhat sheepishly.

"That was... amazing."

"Yup."

"So, does this mean we're actually together?"

"I think so."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, and Wisconsin.

**aspiringAnimator** - Hooray :D I finally got those two together. Also, good news! With episode ten, we are officially twenty percent done! Holy crap! That means twenty percent of the contestants have already been voted off. Forty remain. What will happen next on this ever-exciting series? Find out this weekend!

ALSO. I'm starting back school up tomorrow, August 7th. Yay. This means updates MIGHT be delayed to Sunday, but that still counts as the weekend, so it's all cool.

The poll is still up at my profile! Because we've hit the forty contestants remaining mark, I've had to take down the maximum number of votes to four per person, just for balancing.

And lastly, I always need good challenge ideas. Got one? Send it in a review, or PM. Or carrier pigeon. That works, too. Thanks for reading! I've managed to stay on schedule for a FULL MONTH. Woo!


	12. I'm on a Boat

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 11: I'M ON A BOAT**

_"You were just about the coolest person I met on this show." - Florida_

**Sunday, August 10th, 2014. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 10:12 AM.**

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_42_mp3**

"I plan on actually doing some good for this team. Nobody else wants to stand up to North Dakota. Nobody, even though _everybody_ hates her! Even her own sister isn't that crazy about her. That _must_ be saying something."

Minnesota

**10:13 AM.**

Team Dakota's bus sped down the interstate approaching Milwaukee. Past the city, the huge Lake Michigan could be seen looming in the distance.

Inside the bus, North Dakota was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Half the team was already awake, and all eating breakfast in silence at the small kitchen table, glancing around warily at the rest of their team.

The funny thing is, if enough people on Team Dakota opposed North Dakota, she could easily be voted off. The problem was... Team Dakota absolutely lacked any kind of resilience like that. Apart from Minnesota and Nebraska, to some degree. But that was it.

"Listen up!" North Dakota shouted to her teammates at dawn. The city of Milwaukee approached ahead. "It's challenge day!"

A few members of the team gulped. Typically, challenge days were the most stressful, and North Dakota's temper was no exception. She glared at her team. At her side, stood South Dakota, looking particularly nervous. "I'm not sure exactly _what_ we're doing today," North Dakota seethed, "but you'd all better _do your part_. I mean it."

A moment or two passed as she just glared at the team. "Right..." she muttered. "Chris! I know you can hear me. How long until arrival?"

Silence. North Dakota rolled her eyes. "Right. We're being filmed twenty-four seven and Chris suddenly can't hear us. Whatever. We'll get there when we get there. And you'd all better be on your best behavior."

**10:48 AM.**

"You think it's gonna be cold up here?" Louisiana nervously asked her teammates of Team Touchdown. A few people shrugged. "It's the middle of the summer!" South Carolina yelped from her spot on the couch. Mississippi, which Alabama had his arm around, nodded to that. "It ain't gonna be like Alaska!" she stated. "Wisconsin ain't cold. We'll be fine."

"Hey, hasn't school started up by now?" South Carolina suddenly asked, glancing around at her team. Alabama shrugged, and checked the date on his watch. "I dunno. It's August. I sure am glad I ain't gotta be in school, though."

"Amen!" Louisiana shouted, and plopped down on the couch. "No more dumb assignments. No more trick questions. Aw, I bet everyone from back home is watchin' me on TV..."

A few looked nervous at that suggestion. "Yeah..." Alabama muttered. "I guess so..."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_43_mp3**

"Alright... here's the thing. Mississippi ain't actually... my only... current... girlfriend. Alright? I said it. I got a girl back home in Mobile. I'm... not gonna say any names, and I know she's probably pissed at me right about now. But the thing is... my heart really's with Mississippi. She's beautiful, and real charmin', and knows her way 'round makin' a mean bowl of grits, know what I mean? Mississippi's incredible. But... don't tell her I was with another girl right before this."

Alabama

**10:57 AM.**

"I actually _miss_ school," Connecticut somberly stated as Team Democracy's bus approached its destination. Massachusetts nodded in agreement, as he grew closer to beating Maine in their chess match. "Yeah..." he mumbled. "It's kind of weird to think about how we'll have to miss a whole semester. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to make that up. I wonder what my friends think of me now."

There was a pause. "Did your friends know that you're gay?" Connecticut bluntly asked, looking up from the couch. Massachusetts scowled, and was about to say something, when Maine suddenly let out, "He's bisexual. Not gay. There's a difference, Connecticut."

Massachusetts appeared surprised. "Thanks, Maine. And yes. You guys weren't the primary ones to repeatedly state my alleged attraction towards dudes."

"Speak English," Connecticut said, grinning. "Not everyone's a literal walking thesaurus like you."

Massachusetts rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Check, Maine."

Maine looked back down at the chessboard, smiling. She inspected the move. Massachusetts had cornered her king with a well-placed knight. With one move, she ousted Massachusett's knight with her queen. "Check-mate," she responded, leaning back and smiling widely.

"What?" Massachusetts yelped, looking down at the board. "No. I just had you in check. And look, if I move my bishop over and take out your queen, I'm out of check."

"Nope. My rook will still have a clear path towards your king."

There was a pause. "Argh..." Massachusetts muttered, and began moving his pieces off the board. "You win, Maine. I'm no good at chess, anyways."

"ETA in five minutes!" a familiar voice cried over the bus's radio. "Get your bathing suits ready, teams! This is Chris signing out!"

**11:11 AM.**

"Welcome to Lake Michigan!" Chris greeted the contestants, who had since changed into their bathing suits and were squinting in the sun. "There's just forty of you now! Hope you've had a fun month, kids."

"Why are we at the docks?" Indiana asked, looking around. Indeed, they all stood at one of the piers for a long line of sailboats. Ahead, the vast expanse of Lake Michigan extended to the horizon. "Because," Chris responded, as though he was expecting that question, "we're having a _boat race!_"

Groans went up in the air. Chris grinned widely at that. "How many of you know how to operate a sailboat?"

About nine people raised their hands. Most of them were from Team Touchdown and Team Democracy. "Great!" Chris yelled, clapping his hands together. "Here's the deal."

"Each team gets their own boat. Take your boat to the starting line. This is a race! First team to cross the finish line, which is about ten miles north of here, wins. The last team that does so loses. Is that clear with everybody?"

Nods were exchanged rather reluctantly. Chris's expression grew grim. "By the way... the producers called. They said if the ratings don't improve, they're cutting the budget for the show."

Jaws dropped. "But the ratings are spectacular!" Oregon exclaimed. Chris shrugged at that. "Compared to most shows, they're pretty good. But not compared to other seasons of Total Drama. 'We want Chef! We want Chef!' the fans exclaim. 'We want the old contestants! Alejandro! Heather! Noah!'. Personally, I'm absolutely sick of those kids. The old contestants are adults now. It's time to look to the future!"

Chris looked around at the forty contestants expectantly. He then blurted out, "The future is you! The forty of you are the future of this show. But nobody will believe me when I say that because you kids have _yet to prove yourselves_. Do me a favor and start some drama. Alright?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_44_mp3**

"Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with the fans. Seriously, here I am doing all these confessionals and revealing my plans for everybody to watch. What more do you people want? But if Chris wants drama...? He'll get drama."

North Dakota

**11:16 AM.**

Five boats bobbed in the water by the docks. Carefully, they began to be loaded with the members of their respective teams. Nobody wore life jackets upon Chris's orders, because they "ruined the mood".

"Any of us know how to sail?" Washington asked his six teammates. Indeed, Team Victory seemed to be losing contestants rather quickly. Hawaii shrugged. "I've only driven motor boats before."

"Nobody else?" Washington asked desperately. "Alright... fine, Hawaii, you can drive."

"Oooh!" California exclaimed, jumping excitedly into the boat. "This is a sailboat!"

"Yes, it is," New Mexico stated slowly. Arizona was at his side. "Fantastic observation, California."

California smiled widely, oblivious to New Mexico's sarcasm. "I love these things! I used to drive these all the time with my daddy."

A brief pause. And then...

"Why didn't you say so?"

California blinked at Washington, who faced her. "Huh?"

"You know how to operate a sailboat?"

"Yes!" California squealed. "They're fun!"

Hawaii groaned. "Can't I just drive this time?" he asked. "It's not like we'll even need the sails to go forward."

Washington looked skeptical, as Oregon inspected the stern. "There's no motor on this thing..." he yelled to his teammates. Washington nodded. "Okay. Sorry Hawaii... but California's the only one who can operate the sails, or knows how to, for that matter. I guess you can steer, Hawaii."

He seemed satisfied, as California hopped up and down in glee, wearing only a bikini.

**11:19 AM.**

"Sailin's easy!" Alabama yelled. "It's like drivin' a car, 'cept you gotta watch which way the wind's goin'."

"Question!" Georgia yelled. "What's your question?" Alabama replied.

"We're not gonna sink, are we?"

A few chuckles were exchanged in Team Touchdown, but a few other people looked similarly concerned. Alabama realized the question was serious, and responded, "No, we ain't gonna sink. Trust me. I know my way 'round the water. We'll be fine."

"Doubt it..." Florida muttered. Oddly enough, Arkansas nodded in agreement rather secretively.

"What was that, Florida?"

...

"I said I doubt it. Do you even have your driver's license yet? And for that matter, your boater's license? These things aren't toys, or race cars, no matter what you think."

...

"Heheheh... Florida? I don't think you really know what you're talkin' 'bout. Why don't you go sit down with the other girls?"

...

"Um... I think she's right."

Alabama whipped around. Arkansas spoke. Texas crossed his arms, sizing Arkansas up.

...

"Huh. Is that what you think, Arkansas?" Alabama asked. Arkansas nodded nervously in reply, and elaborated, "Well... for one thing, knowing Chris... maybe there'll be a few traps in the water along the way. And... I don't think we don't know how old these boats are. Maybe there's something wrong with them. Maybe it could, um... run out of fuel on the way there, assuming this thing even uses fuel."

...

"That's an awful lot of maybes, Arkansas. Why don't you sit down, and let us worry 'bout it. You're in safe hands... little guy."

Arkansas reluctantly sat next to Florida under the stern gaze of Texas and Alabama. With a quick nod of the head, Texas unhooked the boat from the dock, as Alabama got set on working the sails.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_45_mp3**

"Ugh. What assholes. I think that's really all there is to say on the matter."

Florida

**11:29 AM.**

"Is everybody ready?" Chris yelled, sitting in a private, small motor boat beside the starting line for the race. Five sailboats were lined up and anchored. A steady breeze blew from the south, perfect conditions for a speedy race north.

"On your marks!"

...

"Get set..."

...

"GO-"

CRACK. Chris's magnum, which continued to only fire blanks, blasted off. Quickly, anchors were lifted up out of the water, and the boats were off rather speedily.

"Careful with the sails!" Virginia cried to her team, as Michigan fumbled around with the poles, and Maryland guiding the rudder. "We go as fast as possible! Head _north_, along the coast!"

**11:40 AM.**

Ten minutes in. Slowly, Team Touchdown's boat had taken the lead, followed by Team Victory and then Team Democracy.

Oregon leaned over the railing, looking down at the water as it skidded by. "Ahhh..." he gasped, looking at the lake around the boat. "It's so pretty out here. I love the water."

California smiled brightly, turning the sail to accommodate the wind. "I know, right? It's like... _so_ good for your pores. Like, you would not even know."

"We're doin' real well, guys!" New Mexico shouted, sitting with Arizona at the back of the boat. "We keep this up, and we'll stay out of voting for sure!"

Washington nodded, and adjusted his glasses against the breeze. "I sure hope so. It's nice to be in the lead for once."

**11:44 AM.**

"Argh! We're losing them!" New York shouted, as Team Dakota's boat overtook their own. "This sucks. We need to catch up!"

"It's not so easy to use these sails, y'know!" Delaware shouted to her team. Massachusetts and New Jersey both assisted her with the ropes. "I agree!" New Jersey yelled rather unnecessarily. "It is not!"

"C'mon..." New York muttered to himself, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Can't this damn thing go any faster?"

New Hampshire glanced up warily at the sky above. "Uh... guys?" she asked, looking at the thickening gray clouds. "Does it seem stormy to anybody else?"

**12:06 PM.**

Thirty minutes in. The teams' progress was becoming impeded by strong winds blowing east. And rain. Lots of rain.

"Augh!" Ohio shouted, absolutely drenched in the torrents of water now pouring over the teams. "I can't see! Where are we going?"

Virginia yelled something in response, but her cry was drowned out by the incredible rain. "_Fuck!_" Ohio screamed. "This is _stupid!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_46_mp3**

"Okay. I don't like boats at all. Or rain. Boats are stupid. Rain is stupid. This show is stupid. Most of my teammates are stupid. But is all that worth a million bucks? Yes. Yes it is."

Ohio

**12:33 PM.**

Over an hour in. Chris McLean sat in his quietly bobbing boat near the finish line, wearing a rain poncho and some stylish shades. The brief storm had since passed, but the teams were nowhere to be seen. He squinted in the distance, and asked the nearest intern, "Yo, d'you think we should've checked the weather forecast?"

The intern appeared terrified, as per the usual reaction. Chris rolled his eyes, and lifted a pair of binoculars to his eyes. "Wait..." he muttered, looking into the distance. "I see them! What's wrong with their sails?"

**12:49 PM.**

"Don't tell me we can't sew this back together!" Texas cried, holding up bundles of cloth. The storm had finally subsided, but the fierce winds had ripped a number of holes in the sails of all the boats, particularly Team Touchdown's. "I don't know!" Alabama shouted. "There should be oars in some of the cabinets there. We can still avoid comin' in last if we use 'em. Now come _on_, y'all! We can do this!"

Mississippi was wailing, completely soaked in lake water. Georgia had her hands in her hair, sobbing, while sputtering over and over again, "We're gonna lose, y'all. It's over."

"It's _not_ over!" Texas yelled, as Team Victory's boat slid past theirs. "We can do this! Just... find the oars, we can do this, we won't lose-"

Just like that, Team Democracy's boat sped by. "No!" Alabama shouted. Team Dakota's boat was approaching rather speedily. "No. We can't lose this challenge. We _can't_."

**12:56 PM.**

...

...

...

"Team Touchdown has lost this challenge!"

A grinning Chris greeted the forty contestants as they wearily climbed out of their boats. Tired teens approached Chris cautiously. Chris just smiled at them, and declared, "Team Victory got in first place! Moments later, Team Democracy's came next, then Team Dakota's, Team America's, and lastly Team Touchdown! Nice sail, by the way."

The nine members of Team Touchdown all looked down sadly at their now tattered sail. Chris's grin widened at the looks on their faces. "Hope you guys have a fun voting ceremony!" he reminded them. "I've been looking forward to getting out of this state, anyway. Too close to the border. Too many... uh, unpleasant memories up there. Anyway! I'll see you guys soon. Back to the buses!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_47_mp3**

"I don't know where we went wrong. Like, within a split second our sail is just blown to hell. That could'a happened to anybody. Damn. I hate this. This ain't my fault."

Texas

**7:00 PM.**

A full moon rose slowly over the skyline of Milwaukee. It glowed a faint orange, hinting at the autumn that would come within the following months. The nine contestants of Team Touchdown all sat in a semi-circle around Chris, who grinned evilly, holding eight bags of chips. "What happened, you guys?" he yelled teasingly. "You guys had the most people who knew a thing about how boats worked! What's your deal?"

A brief pause. Alabama looked guilty. Chris sighed resignedly, and muttered lowly, "Remember what I said about trying not to be boring, kids. You guys do a terrific job when on your own, and talking among yourselves, but around me, for whatever reason, everyone on this show goes silent. Whatever. When I call your name, you get a snack, and you're safe. If you're left without a snack, it means everyone hates you."

Silence. Chris smiled, and held a bag of Doritos tauntingly. "First bag goes to... Georgia!"

Georgia caught the bag, and glanced around at her team. Jealous glares were thrown her way.

"Second bag is for Louisiana!"

Another bag was thrown. Chris smiled malevolently. "Mississippi gets the third bag."

Doritos were thrown Mississippi-wards. She smiled sheepishly.

"Fourth and fifth snacks go to South Carolina and Tennessee!"

They caught them. Chris surveyed the remaining contestants: Texas, Arkansas, Florida, and Alabama. "Interesting!" Chris shouted into the night. "Every single person that got zero votes was a girl. You four got at least one vote."

...

"Texas. One vote, brother."

A bag of Cheetos was thrown into his hands. He appeared grateful, to say the least. Chris smiled, looking at the remaining three. "Penultimate snack!" he announced unnecessarily. "It goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Alabama. Just one vote."

Alabama caught his snack, and stared at Arkansas and Florida. Arkansas was shocked, and glanced over at Florida. Florida didn't look surprised at all. Chris yelled, "The two of you got quite a few votes! Three votes for one of you, and four votes for the other. It was very close."

...

"So close!" Chris droned on, "I've never seen anything like it. Your team is really special-"

"For the love of God, please get on with it," Florida blurted out. "Go on. Say Arkansas. We all know I'm going home, anyway." Chris narrowed his eyes at her. "Listen, kid," he seethed, but caught himself, stopping in the middle of a sentence. "Er... whatever. You're getting just what you deserve tonight, Florida, because the final snack goes to..."

...

...

...

"Arkansas!"

Arkansas exhaled, as the bag of Funyuns landed on the pavement beside him. Florida grabbed her luggage, which she'd already packed. "Later, guys!" she yelled. "And bye, Arkansas. You were just about the coolest person I met on this show. I'll be rooting for you back home. Good luck."

Arkansas gave a sad wave to Florida, who receded into the distance. "Bye!" he shouted after her. "And... the same goes for you."

Chris surveyed the scene satisfactorily, and proceeded to declare, "This is only the beginning, Team Touchdown! There are many, many more voting ceremonies for your team. Mark my words. There are many to come."

There was a brief and awkward pause as Chris let that sink in for the tension. "Right!" he said, clapping his hands together cheerily. "See you all again in a few days! We got here late this Sunday, so... it looks like we might not make it to, uh, Florida on exactly Wednesday. We'll get there. Don't worry."

The members of Team Touchdown made their way back onto the hell-bus to take them to yet another challenge. Indeed... this was just the beginning.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, and Florida.

**aspiringAnimator** - Everything you see above was written in the last four hours from my perspective. Wow. Talk about procrastination. I'm terribly sorry, by the way. I just managed to make the weekend update, and the weekend update is supposed to be the one that allows some leniency on my part, hence the vague "weekend" tag. Anyways. Sorry if this one seems short, or rushed, it's just that it was written very quickly after I decided that I don't particularly want to drop this fanfic. Not only that, but school started last week for me, and between the purgatory of schedule mishaps and the confusion of seeing people I do not know, I didn't find as much time for writing as I should have.

Anyways. Thanks for reading, by the way! Update _should_ be this Wednesday, but as Chris himself stated right above, I might not make it just because I've only got the next three days to write another five thousand words.

The poll is still up at my profile. Six votes! Niiice. Make sure to vote if you haven't. Don't you want to be a cool kid like _us?_ Of course you do. Don't be stupid.

Also, um... make sure to review. I do enjoy reading all of them, even if it's ranging from a polite compliment to some well thought-out constructive criticism.

That's all from me. Sorry for the long author's note, and congratulations if you actually read all that ;D


	13. All of the Plots

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 12: ALL OF THE PLOTS**

_"So... I guess we're fugitives now, huh?" - Oregon_

**Wednesday, August 13th, 2014. The Everglades, Florida. 9:20 AM.**

Week five of The Fifty State Roadtrip.

Chris dominated the celebrity scene. When he wasn't busy actually hosting the show, he was conducting interviews and attending high-class parties. People regarded him as a successful young adult who would be rising higher and higher up the social ladder. For now, life was good.

However, to thirty-nine cautious contestants currently driving south down the Florida Panhandle, Chris was a humorously sadistic authority figure bent on making their life on the road hell.

The atmosphere in Team America's bus was tense. After the eight of them had nearly lost the previous challenge up in Wisconsin, nobody was particularly jumping at the chance to declare leadership and take the blame for that blunder.

Ohio and Michigan merely glared at each other from across the room. Illinois was trying unsuccessfully to hit on Indiana, who satisfied herself with doodling on her sketchpad. Kentucky was playing with half-eaten Poptarts, acting as if they were pistols.

"Would you _leave me alone?_" Indiana snapped at Illinois. "Go bother someone else. While I'd _love_ to _hang out_ with you all day, Illinois, _somehow... _advancing my own artistic abilities seems a _tad_ bit more important to me."

Illinois's eyebrows soared. "Geez, _sorry_," he muttered, smirking at her slight dismay. "Your loss."

He exited the room, presumably to complain to anyone who would listen in the bunk rooms.

**9:33 AM.**

...

"South. Look at this."

South Dakota turned to see her sister examining a small mobile phone. The bus roared farther and farther south. "You're still holding onto that thing?" South Dakota tentatively asked. North Dakota waved down South Dakota's concerns. "Doesn't matter. Look at... _this confessional_."

She tapped play on the Youtube video.. It appeared to be a shoddy mobile phone recording of the previous week's episode. It depicted Minnesota sitting alone in a confessional booth, the tiny bathroom on each bus.

"_-plotting to overthrow North Dakota. I was the one who voted for North Dakota. There, I said it. She's insane. She acts like she's a dictator. With her kind of attitude and reckless behavior, everyone on this team will end up being kicked off before we even merge, including me. This isn't just me trying to take power-_"

North Dakota pressed pause, and looked grim. "We've got a perpetrator in our midst."

Her sister stared at the phone, which had cut off Minnesota in mid-sentence. "Minnesota?" South Dakota asked incredulously. "Not her. There's no way. I... just to hear her talk about you like that..."

"I know," North Dakota stated, smirking. "She mentioned Nebraska, too, but that kid doesn't have the muscle to oppose me. We let him squirm. It's Minnesota I'm worried about. I'm just hoping she hasn't started spreading lies among the team..."

There was a brief pause, as North Dakota and South Dakota stood in the middle of the bedroom.

"So... what do we do?" South Dakota nervously asked. North Dakota shrugged, and replied, "I'll think of a way to... get rid of Minnesota."

South Dakota looked disheartened, and refused to look at North Dakota. "I don't see why we have to..." she mumbled uncertainly. "I mean, couldn't we... I don't know... _convince_ Minnesota that you're not so bad?"

"No!" North Dakota blurted out. "She's off the deep end already. In a situation like this, where you have... _rebels_... you exterminate them immediately. Destroy any qualms of rebellion where they begin. Don't you know _anything_ about having a successful team? You're supposed to make all of the plots. All of them. Jeez, you're a real idiot sometimes."

South Dakota shrunk slightly at that, and quietly whispered, "Yeah... I guess."

**9:51 AM.**

"It's challenge day!" New York yelled as he entered the main room of the charter bus. New Jersey clapped in what he thought was an ironic gesture as New York entered. "No matter what the challenge is, we do our best. Understood?" New York asked everyone. Massachusetts gave a thumbs up, but wasn't really paying any attention, instead choosing to read a book. Connecticut was trying his best to make some visually impressive sketches, but kept coming up with blurred depictions of stick figures.

New York appeared somewhat unimpressed with everyone's nonchalant attitude towards arguably the most important days of the week. With a resigned sigh, he flopped down on the couch, and picked up a magazine.

There was a long, long way to go until the merge. Assuming it even happened. And that he'd still be around if it did.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_48_mp3**

"Ok, don't get me wrong here. I love my team. They're all really nice people, if a little unprepared for what we as a team have to go through during these challenges. But... sitting around all day isn't the way to do things. New Jersey won't stop hitting on everybody. Connecticut doesn't even try when it matters most, like when we had to construct a car... look, don't even force me to remember that challenge. The only people I actually like on this team are Massachusetts, Delaware, and Pennsylvania. They actually help. Usually. Don't tell anyone else I said that, though. Unity makes teams strong."

New York

**10:03 AM.**

Chris shone his deadly early morning smile at the thirty-nine contestants as they sleepily hopped out of the five buses. "Can anyone take a guess at where we are?" Chris shouted. "Take a look around."

The buses had parked on the side of the highway. On both sides of the road, marsh extended into the distance. A little ways away, tall trees shrouded a rather large swamp. Cattails lined the water's edge. This was the Everglades, a huge swampy area on the southern tip of Florida.

"Disney World!" Kentucky responded with a yell. A few people cheered, and began to clap in approval. "No!" Chris shouted, clearly annoyed. "No, we are _not_ in Disney World. Although that was the plan originally. No, today, kids, we are in the very heart of Everglades National Park!"

"Aw..." a few people simultaneously voiced. Chris smirked, and elaborated, "Each team will be in charge of getting their raft to the finish line. It's like the boat race! Except more dangerous. And with rafts my interns built in ten minutes. And featuring crocodiles."

"Uh..." Washington cut in, "but crocodiles aren't actually in Florida. I think you're thinking of alligato-"

"Shut up!" Chris commanded, smiling widely. "There are a few oars for each team. That'll be your only method of propulsion, unless some of you want to get in the water and push. You guys brought bathing suits, right?"

A few people glanced at each other. This didn't look like an especially fun challenge. Chris crossed his arms, and pointed sporadically towards the buses. "Well, go put them on!" he shouted. "I'll be waiting here with your rafts. Get a move on. We don't have all day."

**10:11 AM.**

"So... what do you think about this challenge?" Oregon slowly asked Washington as they stood alone in their bunk room undressing. Washington shrugged, and discarded his cargo pants into a small laundry bin. "I'm not sure. It looks like a repeat of the last challenge... except probably harder, considering that it'll be in a swamp this time, with who knows what kinds of dangers await."

"Oh," Oregon mumbled, as Washington took off his boxers without so much as a word. Flustered, he averted his glance away as he donned his own bathing suit, Oregon nervously stating, "Well, I think this challenge will be a lot more danger-based. With traps. We didn't have those last challenge."

There was a brief silence. Washington pulled on his own swimsuit, oblivious to Oregon's discomfort. "Maybe," he mused thoughtfully. "C'mon. I wouldn't want Chris to have an aneurysm or something if we get back six seconds later than we were supposed to."

**10:24 AM.**

The two arrived just in time to hear Chris elaborating to the contestants about the day's challenge. "You will need to watch out for crocodiles!" Chris shouted, smiling widely at the thought. "You must outrun _piranhas!_ Possibly an explosive or two! Who knows."

During Chris's speech, North Dakota was sneaking dark glances over at Minnesota every few seconds, who became increasingly nervous as the stares went on. It was clear: North Dakota was quite enjoying Minnesota in her terrified, unknowing stupor.

"What are you doing?" South Dakota asked her sister as Chris droned on and on. North Dakota held up a hand to stop South Dakota, and merely whispered, "Oh, you know. Just making the rest of Minnesota's limited time on this show as miserably confusing and stressful as possible."

"Oh... yeah, of course," South Dakota muttered, uncertain. "And so," Chris concluded with a flourish, happily oblivious to whatever was happening between the contestants, "that's why it's _probably_ best that you stay _out_ of the water. First team to make it to the end wins! Last team loses. Are you kids ready to get _rowing__?_"

Nobody said anything. Evidently, the prospect of spending the next few hours rowing rickety rafts through a treacherous swamp didn't seem particularly inviting to most people. Chris crossed his arms, and then said, "And if you _don't_ compete, you're disqualified from the show."

Instantaneously, every single contestant began making their way to the tiny rafts at the water's edge as quickly as possible. "Mind the poles, y'all!" Texas yelled, standing on his team's small craft. "Keep it steady! Where's them oars at?"

"Right here!" South Carolina chimed, and tossed one to Texas. "On your marks!" Chris yelled, carrying his magnum once again. "Get set!"

"GO-"

CRACK. The rafts were off. "Just go that way!" Chris yelled, grinning at everyone's messy start. A few people were in the water. Life jackets were not given out. "The finish line is just two miles away. Have fun!"

"Augh..." Michigan moaned, trudging through the thick water as the rest of his team began to board the raft. "This mud is disgusting. It's so thick."

Virginia glanced down nervously at the water below the craft. "Uhhh... hey, y'all, don't get in the water. There's some nasty stuff in there..."

With a grunt, Michigan plopped himself up and into his team's raft to join them. They pushed off, and were immediately in the lead, propelled by some rather erratic rowing. Within a few seconds, the other rafts slowly got under way, drifting deeper into the swamp lands.

"I don't like this..." Tennessee worriedly mumbled, looking into the murky water. Louisiana, who was holding onto a pole in the center of Team Touchdown's raft, shrugged as she said, "It ain't that bad! It's just goin' through the swamp. The gators ain't gonna bite you."

"Gators?" South Carolina yelped, looking into the water. "As in... alligators? Ohhh, no, wasn't Chris kidding?"

Alabama just rolled his eyes at the fretful girls, and rowed deeper into the swamp. Tall tree canopies began to blot out any light coming in from above. Beside them, in Team Dakota's raft, North Dakota was screaming at her rowers to paddle faster. "Best we stay in second," Alabama whispered to his girlfriend, Mississippi. "If there's traps up ahead, that means Team Dakota'll get in 'em first, heheheh." He then winked at her, and resumed rowing.

"There's something in the water!" Massachusetts shouted, jumping up and almost toppling Team Democracy's raft. Everyone turned their heads at him, and then down at the water just in time to catch a long reptilian tail slide past them.

"OH MY GOD!" Virginia screamed, jumping up. Others began screaming. Oars were abandoned, as the teams began to bunch up in the center of their rafts around the pole.

At that moment, North Dakota realized that everyone was too preoccupied with even paying any attention to the race anymore. "PADDLE!" she commanded her team, and instantly her six brave underlings began rowing as fast as possible. "We've got this in the bag!" North Dakota shouted.

Connecticut took his gaze away from the moving shapes in the swamp for just a second to glance up at Team Dakota rapidly paddling through the swamp. He blinked, and then an underwater trigger was activated-

BOOM. Team Dakota vanished in a ball of smoke and fire.

People started screaming, and began to jump off the rafts. Team Dakota's own raft was utterly destroyed. Bits of wood from the craft floated in the murky water. North Dakota, with her entire team, was screaming, waving around in the water. Pandemonium ensued.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_49_mp3**

"The bright side was that nobody died! Annnd... that's probably the only good thing about what happened."

Oregon

**10:40 AM.**

Thirty-nine teens sat shivering on the bank of a river. Chris was yelling into a cell phone. A few kids were crying. Those who had become submerged in the water were wearing shock blankets. An ambulance with a team of paramedics sat on standby.

"NO!" Chris shouted, one finger in his other ear to blot out the noise. "The explosives were _perfectly safe!_ Nobody was injured! That's what you don't get!"

There was a brief pause. Chris rolled his eyes, and stammered desperately, "It's _my show__!_ I can do whatever the hell I want on it. I don't wanna hear more of this _bullshit_ about replacing me."

...

"THEY WERE BARELY CROCODILES. The kids were _perfectly safe_. I don't - okay, fine, alligators, whatever makes you happy - listen to me - it was a set-"

A few people glanced up at Chris, who was now positively screaming into his phone. "YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME. I'm the BEST Canadian host. Forbes said so. Alright, you know what? _You're fired_."

...

"What do you _mean_ I can't fire you? Who said that?"

...

"Yeah, well, _he's_ fired."

...

"YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME - argh - shut _up!_"

Chris slammed the phone off, and threw it on the ground. It shattered into several pieces. He cursed, and kicked a tire on the ambulance. The paramedics rolled their eyes, and got back in the ambulance. Chris then stood for a few moments, thinking, when New Jersey approached cautiously.

"Uhhh... yo, Chris... is the show canceled?"

"No!" Chris screamed. "No it is _not_ canceled! Who said that? Not me! Not canceled. No way."

...

"But... yo, Chris, what was that phone call about, then-"

"Go _stand in a corner, New Jersey!_ What did I tell you?"

"...Chris, man, we've been over this, we're outside right now-"

"Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate."

Chris snapped his fingers, and looked up with a wicked smile. A few of the contestants winced. "If the network wants to get _rid_ of me..." Chris slowly began, smiling evilly, "then that's fine. But... heh... they'll have to catch me first."

There was a brief pause. A few of the teens looked confused. Chris clapped his hands, and took on his bright host personality again. "Alright, kids! Into the buses!"

"Uh... Chris?" Washington asked slowly, as the teams began filing into their respective buses. "The show isn't canceled, is it?"

"No!" Chris waved him down. "No, _you_ kids are fine. The network _loooves _you guys. So much that they're willing to get rid of an internationally known host over something as silly as a few tame crocodiles and a mild explosive or two. The show must go on. It's nothing without me. I am the _trademark of Total Drama!_"

"But this season doesn't have Total Drama in its name," Washington pointed out as the buses began to crank up. "It's called something else, isn't it?"

"Doesn't matter!" Chris shouted. "It's _my show!_ Now get in your bus before I decide you were the one _eliminated_ tonight, Washington."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_50_mp3**

"Huh. So it looks like we're on the run now. Just forty kids, an entire country, and a diabolical host bent on making this show go on no matter what. I like it. It's like we're hostages or something! This is waaay more fun."

New York

**5:10 PM.**

"And by the way!" Chris's voice crackled over the radio of Team Dakota's bus as it drove to the nearest gas station. "Team Dakota, because you fell into my C4 - er, I mean... small firecracker trap, you guys lost! Figure out who you're voting for! This is Chris: out! And step on it, interns! We're on a tighter schedule!"

North Dakota groaned, and faced her anxious team. "Alright, guys, we've got a problem," she informed them. "Chris has gone crazy. He got fired or something and now he's gone off the deep end."

There was a pause. Oklahoma raised her hand. "Yes, Oklahoma?" North Dakota asked exasperatedly.

"Who are we voting off?"

"AHEM."

"Oh... who are we voting off, g-Glorious Leader...?"

"Vote for whoever you want. Except for South and I, obviously."

This came as a surprise to everyone. Usually, North Dakota ordered everybody to vote for a specific person, and that person was just supposed to give up and go home. This time, however, North Dakota was just giving everyone the option to pick whoever they voted for.

"Are you _sure _about this?" South Dakota whispered fervently to North Dakota as everyone retreated to their bunk rooms until nightfall. "I mean, believe me, I _love_ the free will and the voting and stuff, but... it's so _unlike_ you."

North Dakota grinned slyly, and withdrew Minnesota's phone from her pocket. "Not quite," she began. "Look. We put this in Minnesota's pocket with an audible alarm to go off right after the voting, which Chris usually has around seven PM. It doesn't matter who really gets voted off, because Minnesota will be disqualified for smuggling electronics after they were taken again. It's a foolproof plan."

"Wow..." South Dakota whispered, staring at the phone. "You... sure do play dirty..."

North Dakota shrugged, and snuck the phone back into her pocket. "Who cares?" she asked.

**5:12 PM.**

"I'm telling you guys!" Nebraska quietly informed his teammates Kansas, Colorado, and Utah in the silence of their bunk room. "Minnesota has a plan. If we all band together, we can take out North Dakota and take _back_ this team! Aren't you guys _tired_ of being pushed around all the time?"

Colorado was nodding, arms crossed but looking approving, but Kansas and Utah appeared terrified. "She'll _kill us__!_" Kansas whispered, glancing around the small compartment. "Maybe not literally, but this plan will never work! Not enough people will vote for her! If she finds out about your plan..."

"She won't," Nebraska lied, faking his confidence. "She won't even know that you voted for her. It's an anonymous voting system. Trust us. By tomorrow morning, North Dakota will be _gone_."

Utah and Kansas still appeared scared out of their minds at the prospect of rebelling against North Dakota's authority. But there was no time to argue. The voting ceremony was drawing uncomfortably nearer as the sun slunk past the horizon.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_51_mp3**

"This is my chance to make history on Total Drama! North Dakota is an antagonist. The fans will _love_ me for taking her out! This is my chance to make it big. With North Dakota gone, I think our team could _really_ get far in this show."

Nebraska

**6:55 PM.**

"Chop-chop, kids!" Chris yelled, in a slightly shorter temper than usual. A near-full moon shone high overhead as Team Dakota filed out of their bus and into a parking lot in Homestead. "We don't have much time. When I call your name, blah-blah-blah. No snacks today. I'm... a little paranoid about entering stores at the moment. Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, yadda-yadda-yadda. You're all safe today. No votes."

The absence of snacks was slightly disturbing, and a little disappointing. Chris smiled malevolently at the remaining three contestants: Minnesota, North Dakota, and Nebraska. "Quite an interesting mix here!" Chris yelled, after checking his watch nervously and then scanning the sky for nonexistent black helicopters. "North Dakota, you've managed to garner at least one vote every single voting ceremony. And Minnesota, if the confessionals are indeed accurate... you're leading something of a resistance."

North Dakota glared at Minnesota, who sat haughtily and proud. "And lastly, there's just Nebraska," Chris continued, "and I'm not really sure why he's here right now. But he gets a snack - er, no snack today - and just one vote from his comrades."

Nebraska sighed, and closed his eyes. Chris's smile grew. It was just between the two young ladies Minnesota and North Dakota now. "I'm actually kind of relieved this person's going home!" Chris continued. "If she'd stayed on the team until the end of the game, I get the feeling that someone might have literally died due to her schemes."

"The person who's staying on this show is..."

...

...

...

...

...

"Minne-"

An alarm suddenly went off.

"-_in commotion! The elements in harmony! She blinded me with science, and hit me with technology!_"

Chris froze. His eyes narrowed. "...that had better not be a cellphone I'm hearing right now."

Minnesota was pink in the face, eyes wide and full of terror. There was a small bulge in her side pocket that had gone unnoticed by her until this very moment. Chris groaned, and performed the ultra-coveted 2X FACEPALM COMBO.

"Minnesota? Why exactly do you have a phone in your pocket?"

North Dakota smirked, and crossed her arms, intrigued. "Yeah, Minnesota!" she said with exaggerated shock. "Don't you _know_ you're not supposed to have phones on this show?"

"I - what - how did this even get here - this isn't mine!"

Chris took the phone out of Minnesota's hand. On the small screen, a timer blinked 0:00, with the caption "L8R, LOSER." He showed Minnesota the phone. "This isn't your phone?"

"Well - I mean, it is - but I gave it back, I swear - wait-"

"Sorry, Minnesota!" Chris said, glancing at his watch once again. "You are _disqualified!_ Head to the cab of losers right over there-"

"THAT BITCH!"

"Me?" North Dakota gasped, pointing to herself. Minnesota stomped up to North Dakota, first curled into a ball, ready to strike-

"Girls! Break it up!" Chris shouted, putting himself between the two. "Get a _hold_ of yourselves!"

Minnesota screamed, "It was _North Dakota all along!_ She - she hid my phone after they were supposed to be taken by you-"

"Likely story!" Chris decided, and lifted Minnesota, who was kicking at North Dakota. "Into the taxi you go!"

"SHE CHEATED!" Minnesota screamed, throwing away all haughty dignity she possessed moments ago. "Everyone! Remember what I said! She will _take you down without hesitation! _I-"_  
><em>

Minnesota was thrown into the taxi. A car door slammed, and a lock placed on the door by the driver. Chris gave a friendly wave as the car drove off. "Bye!" he yelled. "Have a fun ride back home! Alright, kids, we gotta be in Minnesota by this weekend. Who wants to play 'evade my network producers and become heroes'? I do!"

Team Dakota kept staring, even after the spectacle ended. North Dakota whistled, and clapped her hands. "Into the buses, everyone!" she yelled. "We have some... _things_ to discuss with a few of you."

**9:51 PM.**

Team Victory's bus steadily made its way towards the Floridan state line. It was pretty late in the evening. New Mexico and Arizona, who were now sharing bunk rooms together, had allegedly retired early to go to bed. Only Washington and Oregon remained. Washington was busy reading, while Oregon just sat on the couch eating a bowl of oatmeal.

There was an awkward silence for a while, until Oregon broke the silence and spoke.

"So... I guess we're fugitives now, huh?"

"Looks like it. I can honestly say I didn't expect all that to happen. Like, with Chris getting fired and all."

"Yeah..."

Oregon looked down at his brightly colored sneakers. Sitting beside him on the couch, Washington appeared to be pondering something. After a moment of silence, he remarked, "I'm not entirely sure how Chris expected that challenge to work. Those were literal, live alligators in the water. I'm surprised nobody drowned. And the explosive, what was up with that? I bet he hid more in that - oh, my God, are you crying?"

Oregon was sniffling, tears running down his face. Washington looked flustered, and put down his book. "Uh... Oregon, what's wrong? Did I say something?"

"No, it's nothing, I'm not - I'm not crying, Washington, it's just... God... that was... traumatic. I thought people had _died_."_  
><em>

Washington appeared to be at a loss for words to say. "Well... yeah, it was scary, alright. Are... you okay? Do you need to talk about something?"

Oregon looked at the carpeted floor of the bus as it sped into the night. He spoke with a wavering voice. "I mean... yeah, I guess... I shouldn't really tell you this, but..."

...

"...when I was four," Oregon began, looking off into the distance, "my family went on yearly trips to Waldo Lake. It's a little while east of Eugene. Anyway... one summer there was an accident. While we were there, one of the kids vacationing there, um... drowned."

Washington covered his mouth, concerned. "Jesus, that's awful, Oregon. What... what happened?"

"I was there. The kid jumped off a pier, but slipped right before. He hit his head on the wooden post. Ever since then, drowning... or, no, just swimming in water in general, triggers, like, this sort of traumatic reaction from me... things like the boat race from last weekend are fine, but... that was just too much today. People were screaming. Oh, just the screams... I'd thought someone from our team was drowning."

Washington was listening intently, and only elected to speak when Oregon was through talking. "Damn. I'm really sorry about that, Oregon. It's easy to see how you were triggered like that. I've studied up on triggers before. I'm here for you, dude. Whenever you wanna talk."

Oregon smiled slightly at that. "Thanks, Washington," he mumbled. "You're a nice guy. I appreciate the, um... sentiment."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, and Minnesota.

**aspiringAnimator **- Hooray for traumatic experiences!

The poll is still up at my profile! And remember, reviews are _welcomed!_ I _love_ getting feedback, no matter how sweet or harsh it is. And sorry for such a late chapter! I barely made my Wednesday deadline. I've been writing nonstop for the past three hours, and also playing with a hamster. Sometimes at the same time!

And yeah, to confirm, Chris is fired... according to his producers, that is. But the _show must go on_.


	14. Fugitives

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 13: FUGITIVES**

_"So. You say you can bring Chris McLean to me."_

**Sunday, August 17th, 2014. Minneapolis, Minnesota. 9:01 AM.**

"We're live in five... four... three... two..."

A grim-faced blonde reporter sat at a studio desk. When the camera gave her the signal, she flashed a wide smile, and spoke in her cheeriest voice possible.

"Good morning, Twin Cities! It's 9:01 AM on August 17th. I'm Sandra Pittman at WCCO, and this is your nine o'clock morning news. A bit cloudy, there, Minneapolis! We're expecting a few showers this afternoon. Maybe thunderstorms, but not necessarily something worth canceling any weekend plans you might be having. Now, onto the news."

"Chris McLean, host of the internationally and immensely popular Total Drama reality television series, has reportedly gone missing last Wednesday, along with about forty teenagers ranging from sixteen to seventeen years old. According to reports and an eyewitness account from a paramedic on the scene, they had just gotten finished filming an episode in Florida for their newest season, 'The Fifty State Roadtrip', when McLean evidently made off with the kids. The network, CampTV, known for its teen-centered reality television shows, has pressed charges on McLean, including theft, kidnapping, and a violation of their contract."

"What makes this story _more_ interesting, however, is that according to a credible source who only goes by 'Sierra', the show's next stop would be right here in Minnesota! If you see McLean, and the aforementioned theft of 'five large black charter buses', you've been advised to contact local authorities immediately. Now, onto our weather forecast, Minneapolis. Like I mentioned earlier, we should be expecting some showers later this afternoon, but only a light drizzle, our meteorologist tells us. Take a closer look..."

**9:22 AM.**

"I'm... I'm safe in here..."

Chris was curled up in a ball in the back seat of his limousine, eyes flickering around, never settling on one thing for more than just a moment. He shuddered, and yelled, "Hey, Johnny! How long 'til we're there?"

The limousine driver, Chris's personal intern, glanced over his shoulder, and merely shrugged. Chris groaned, and looked ahead at the five large buses his limousine was following. "Nobody will find us. The show must go on. _The show must go on_."

The intern rolled his eyes. Ahead, the sprawling metropolis of Minneapolis greeted the buses, as Chris's sanity spiraled out of control after the last three days of ducking and hiding away from the police. It wasn't exactly _easy_ to smuggle five buses loaded with approximately thirty-eight children.

**9:40 AM.**

About nine AM. Team Victory's bus.

Most people were still in bed, attempting to gain a few extra minutes of sleep before Chris inevitably brought everyone outside. Not New Mexico and Arizona, though.

"I'm telling you. It's sickening. The way they treat child workers in places like Vietnam is terrible."

"Well... yeah, I'm not really disagreein' with you, Arizona."

"It's just so unfair. And the endless fighting just goes on and on in some countries. We need to be doing more to help them."

"Aww, yeah, I like the sound of that. We'd be shootin' 'em up! Hah!"

"_No_, not war - peace, New Mexico. There are children in many developing countries without access to education, clean drinking water, and healthy food."_  
><em>

New Mexico looked down at his shoes. It seemed like Arizona had just needed someone to vent to. She smiled, and held his hand. "I'm... sorry, New Mexico, it's just... thinking about injustices like that is terrible to me. I just can't even bear to think of all the people on this show who've been voted off already. I hate even having to pick someone to vote for."

New Mexico nodded. "Yeah. I know what you mean... you want some enchiladas? I'm real good at makin' 'em."

"No, thanks. I think we're almost there."

"Aww. I was hopin' to spend more time with you." He winked, and they briefly shared a kiss. It was probably good that nobody was watching them, aside from the millions of people at home, because it would be kind of awkward.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_52_mp3**

"I know some of my friends at home are probably wondering pretty hard at why I'm dating New Mexico. After all, I, uh... never really had a boyfriend before. And no, Allison, that one time in seventh grade didn't count. But New Mexico is different. I look past his love of guns, and fast food, and partying, and I can see what he really cares about. He has a heart of gold, and his frankly quite adorable attraction towards me shows me this. Deep down, he cares about the persecuted... the victims of our society. I want to show him that he can find something new to discover in everything."

Arizona

**9:53 AM.**

"_Get back in your room._"

North Dakota thrust a long wooden cane into Utah's chest. He was shaking with terror and something else.

"I - I really, _really_ need to go to the bathroom, we've been in there for almost four days now - agh!"

North Dakota had pushed him against the wall. Behind her, South Dakota watched, looking worried. "What was that?" North Dakota seethed, staring at Utah with her big black eyes. "Did you just try to _disagree with me?_" Hm, that's funny, because the one time I let you guys have free will and vote, _you all try to vote me off._ Am I wrong?"

"No!" Utah stammered, looking positively horrified. "I mean, yes, you're wrong, I didn't vote for you-"

"_Lies!_" she growled. "And _again_ with the disagreeing with me. Are you mentally retarded or something? Go _back in your room_. This is what you all get after trying to _rebel_."

Utah, still quaking with anxiety, shuffled back into his bunk room. North Dakota slammed the flimsy door behind him, and rubbed her eyes wearily. "What day is it, South?"

"Uh. Sunday? It's challenge day."

"Fuck."

"Um, language, North... there are cameras everywhere..."

"I don't give a damn. They can piss right off. Do you know how _close _I came to getting voted off a few nights ago? Chris was _literally in the process of saying Minnesota_. If it wasn't for my brilliant plan with the phone alarm, I'd be on a long car ride home right about now."

"Yeah, you mentioned it... several times, actually... look, I really don't feel comfortable with making everyone stay in their rooms all day long, it just seems so-"

"Oh, my God," North Dakota moaned, staring her sister dead in the eyes. "Don't start this again, little sister."

"...I'm only younger by, like, eight months."

"Doesn't matter. I'm still your superior."

**10:13 AM.**

"Out of the buses!" Chris nearly screamed. They had arrived at the enormous parking lot of a huge building on the edge of Minneapolis. It was rather crowded, but evidently all of the customers seemed to regard the contestants as just kids from a field trip or something. Chris's eyes darted back and forth between his contestants and the patrons, looking paranoid. The building they stood in front, however, bore the description, "MALL OF AMERICA".

California's face was alight at seeing the huge mall. A few of the other contestants looked just as intrigued. This was a national monument, after all.

"Is this everybody?" Chris asked, looking around at the thirty-eight contestants. "Okay... okay, good, good... today, we're mixing it up a little with the challenges."

"Originally, each team would be given one thousand dollars and told to purchase as many items as possible with that money. The team with the most items wins. The goal was to buy the cheapest stuff possible, so you could afford more items. Additionally, teams would keep all items they bought, regardless of whether or not they were electronics. But due to some... uh, _interesting_ recent events, we'll have to change it up a little."

"Instead of a thousand dollars, each team gets one hundred dollars, because I only have five hundred bucks on me right now. All teams still get to keep the items that they buy, though. Make sure to keep all your receipts. Oh, uh, one more rule. Apparently, it was tipped off by _someone_ that we were gonna be here, so... the place is swarming with cops."

A few people exchanged glances. Chris's glared hardened. "If you get caught by a guard or a cop or something, you're disqualified. And remember. You kids are _famous._ Chances are, you'll be recognized by some of the customers. Just... _try _not to get into too much trouble, alright? Think of this as... a prep to the nonexistent autograph sessions each of you will have to hold. Hahahaha."

Anxiety replaced the excited looks on everyone's faces. Being surrounded by swarms of fans who know every detail about you didn't seem too inviting. Chris checked his watch, and shouted, "I need you guys back here by eleven! That gives you guys one hour. Try not to buy something too heavy, alright? The team with the most items bought wins. Go!"

The five teams took off towards the huge mall.

**10:20 AM.**

"Alright, guys, let's go over our game plan," Michigan began as the eight members of Team America walked through the lobby of the huge mall. "We buy really cheap things. Maybe, just maybe, something useful for our team. I don't think we can buy a phone, because it'll be impossible to pay the phone bills, and we don't have much money, but surely there's something else useful we could get."

"Just something to connect to the internet would be nice," Virginia stated, looking thoughtful. "We could always use WiFi."

"I agree with Virginia," Ohio said quickly, eyeing Michigan. "But the challenge matters most. We buy cheap things only. If we get something expensive, that might be half our money down the drain. And then we'll lose."

Michigan sighed, and responded, "No, that's not necessarily true. I'm certain there's a team out there that'll succumb to the pressure of buying something shiny and expensive. We'll be fine."

Ohio was about to scoff out a rebuttal, when he nearly bumped right into a girl a little older than he was. She wasn't in the show at all. She wore a small pin on her shirt that read "Team America". Her eyes went wide.

"Oh my God. No way. It's... no way!"

"Uh. What?"

She gasped. "You're Ohio! Oh my God, she was right, you guys actually are here!"

"Hold on," Virginia asked cautiously, "who are you? And who was right?"

The girl looked apologetic, and stammered, "It was a girl on the Total Drama fan forums. She goes by ConnectichusettsLover612. She said that you guys might be here! She was one of the first ones to even get here, actually. There's about twenty of us. Oh, um, sorry, I'm Shelby."

"Well, great," Ohio muttered. "We last five minutes and we're already recognized. Listen, um... don't tell the cops we're here. Okay?"

Her jaw dropped. "Is it true, then? About how Chris went crazy? Everyone's talking about it on Twitter. Ohhh, man, wait until they find out I met you guys - can I get a picture with Michigan?"

"Um. I'm not sure if that's such a good idea..." Michigan stammered.

"No! It'll be fun. I just want proof that I met you guys."

"...how about an autograph instead?"

"Yeah, that works. Have you ever thought of changing your name to Alicia?"

"Uh. What? I'm a guy."

As Michigan hastily scribbled his signature onto a napkin, Virginia mumbled, "Okay... so, what do we do? People knew we were gonna be here. And I don't really like the prospect of being followed by a bunch of fans... no offense."

"None taken," Shelby said, shrugging. "So you guys are being followed by the cops, right?"

"That's right," Ohio responded, looking wary. "What's it matter?"

"Well... personally, I'm rooting for Team America. If you guys don't mind... I could keep the cops away from you guys while you... do whatever it is you're doing here. Is this part of a challenge?"

"Sort of. That... would actually be pretty handy. I didn't even think we had any fans."

Shelby's eyes went huge. "Ohhh, but you guys do. I'm working on a fan fiction where Michigan and Ohio, uh... um. Never mind."

Michigan and Ohio exchanged suspicious glances briefly.

**10:25 AM.**

"This place is huge!" Connecticut exclaimed, looking up at the glass skylights above. Indeed, attractions were around every corner. A Ferris Wheel awaited just ahead. "Remember, guys, we're just here for the challenge," New York reminded everyone. "This isn't a shopping spree. Chris gave us a one hundred dollar bill, and we need to spend it wisely."

"Oh, but look!" Massachusetts suddenly said, pointing at a store. "They've got an American Eagle Outfitters store... I really need a new sweater vest..."

"I - what?"

"I'm just going to go browse!" Massachusetts yelled. New York groaned, and ran after him. "We've only got an hour, Massachusetts! There's no _time_ for buying more of your sweater vests. Those things are like seventy dollars."

"Hush. It'll be just a minute."

Five minutes passed, during which Massachusetts inspected every sweater in the store. He recommended a few of his favorite off-brands to Connecticut and New York. He then bought a blue one for Connecticut for the comparatively cheap price of twenty dollars, despite Connecticut's staunch refusal of the gift. Right as New York was getting ready to send everyone out of the store, a potted plant tapped Pennsylvania on the shoulder.

"Augh!" she squealed, whipping around. "What the hell?"

Chris's head poked out of the plant slightly. "Pssst!" he whispered, after glancing around.

"Chris? Is that you? Why are you a plant?"

"Doesn't matter. You kids have thirty minutes remaining! This is Chris: out!"

Chris then awkwardly shuffled away, freezing in place any time a guard or a cop walked by. New York did a face palm. "Crap. Guys, it's been thirty minutes, and the only thing we've bought is an overpriced blue lump of fabric for Connecticut. What can we buy that's cheap?"

"Uh. Suggestion?" Delaware slowly said. New York pointed at her, and asked, "What is it?"

"How much does gum cost?"

...

"Like a quarter per pack."

"There's a candy store right over there. We could just buy, say, three hundred packs."

New York grinned widely, and planted a kiss on Delaware's forehead, leaving her pretty flustered. "Delaware? You're a genius," he earnestly said. "Now let's go. Hopefully they have enough in stock."

New York set off at a brisk pace towards the candy shop, only to nearly run over a particularly excited-looking teenage girl.

"Augh! Who are you?"

She stared at them with a wide, dead smile and big eyes. "Ohhhhh, my gawsh," she said slowly, pointing at each and every member of Team Democracy. "It's really you guys! I _knew_ you guys would be here."

"Hold on a second," Massachusetts said slowly, pointing at the fan. "You're... I recognize you. You're Sierra! From one of the past seasons. You were always all over Cody."

She squealed, and clapped her hands together rapidly. "Aaaaahhh! Massachusetts knows my name! You. Have. _No_ idea how much of a fan I am of you. Aaaannnd... Connecticut."

Sierra wheeled around the spot to face Connecticut with a wicked grin. He looked uncomfortable. "Um... do I know you?" he stammered.

"You're Connecticut. I have been _rooting for you_ from the beginning. I know _all_ about you. You're sixteen years old. You were born in New Haven. Your favorite color is baby blue. You played tee-ball when you were six. You have two sisters whom I have both met without their knowledge and you go to Wilbur Cross High School. I even know your real name! But I won't tell anyone." She giggle rather unnecessarily, heightening the discomfort between everyone. "Uhhh, sorry, Sierra..." New York began slowly, "I know you must be a big fan or whatever, but... we're in the middle of an important challenge here, and I'd appreciate it if you'd-"

She gasped before he could finish speaking. "Of _course_ I'll come along with you guys!" she exclaimed. "Team Democracy is the _best_. Do you want to see some of my fan art of my OTP? Some of it's a _liiittle_ inappropriate, but... I won't get in the way. I promise!"

**10:33 AM.**

"Holy hell! Check out all these new games!"

Texas and Alabama had dragged their entire team to the rather large Gamestop in the mall, much to the chagrin of most of the girls of their team. They had already purchased an Xbox controller and Grand Theft Auto IV, a purchase that sunk more than forty dollars of their money, and which was made despite the fact that there weren't any consoles to play the game with on the bus. That did little to cap their excitement, however.

"Tex! Look! They got preorders for the new Call of Duty!"

"Awww, check it out, bro! You ever played Dead Rising?"

"Yeah! Me an' my cousin played it all the time!"

Mississippi cautiously approached her boyfriend, after being pushed forward by a somewhat irate South Carolina. "Uh... Bama?" she tentatively asked. "Maybe we should get goin'... we need to think 'bout the challenge..."

"Huh?" Alabama asked, glancing behind him. "Oh. Yeah, we are! Chris said we get to keep all the stuff we buy. Y'all, this is some of the _most useful_ stuff in this entire mall!"

Mississippi looked doubtful at that. "But... we need to get cheap items, and all of this costs like forty dollars..." Alabama waved her down, and peered down at a few of the Playstation 4 titles. "Naaah. Don't worry 'bout it, hun. We ain't gonna lose the challenge."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_53_mp3**

"I don't really like making confessionals. It makes me feel like I'm admitting some secret, except for the fact that I don't actually have many secrets. But I will say this. The way Alabama and Texas have been, uh, leading us just isn't good for the team as a whole. Like... the way they voted off Florida like that? That wasn't cool. Now, I know I might not be just like my teammates. I don't like football that much, for instance. But that doesn't mean I don't have a voice about the going-on's in my team."

Arkansas

**10:40 AM.**

"And just _how_ do you know that this is the right stuff to buy, California?" Washington asked, carrying a cardboard box filled with the trinkets they'd bought. "I mean, no offense, it's just... you don't come off as the, um... intelligent type. Not - not usually, anyways, so... no offense."_  
><em>

She looked confused. "Well," she began, crossing off a few items off her list, "there's a whole system to buying things, y'know. I have a _lot_ of experience with working with small amounts of money. Like, oh my gawsh, you wouldn't even _believe_ the kind of stuff that's involved. There's a formula."

"Okay," Washington gasped, carrying the box a little higher. "And does it include _why_ I'm carrying five hundred condoms?"

"Because they're cheap!" Arizona explained, carrying her own box as she walked beside him in the crowded mall. "They go for like five cents a piece when you buy 'em in bulk. Where to next, California?"

"Well..." she stated, slowly. "I think we have enough items. Exactly one thousand five hundred. And there's about twenty-five dollars left... if we give each of us three dollars, that should be enough for each of us to buy a little trinket that we want. There's no way we can lose with _this _many condoms."

"That's the first time I've ever heard that phrase," Oregon mused with a small grin. "It kind of sucks that we don't have enough money each to buy anything significantly useful, though."

"Yo, wait," Hawaii suggested, holding his hand out as a signal for everyone to stop. "We might be able to. We could all pool our money in for somethin' real useful that we could all use."

California shrugged, as Washington nodded his head thoughtfully at that. "That's not a bad idea. What could we buy with just twenty-five dollars...?"

**10:48 AM.**

"I need some new earrings," North Dakota mused, looking over the jewels in a rather expensive store. Apart from South Dakota, the rest of her team was instructed to sit quiet and not interrupt her. "North?" South Dakota suddenly said, looking worried. "All we've bought is expensive things. We don't really have enough money to be thinking of... of earrings."

"We got an iPod Touch for fifty bucks," she snapped back, deserting the rather expensive pair of earrings. "That's _useful_. This way, we can connect to the internet if we need to. And even if we _do_ lose the challenge, I'm pretty sure we can live without a few of these numbnuts."

She jerked her thumb towards Kansas and Utah, who both looked down at the floor in shame. At that, South Dakota looked even more wary of her sister. "But... that's not really fair to the other members of the team..."

North Dakota stared at South Dakota. "Are you kidding me?" she asked incredulously. "Do you even know how leadership works? There's a leader, and then there's the followers. The leader has absolute control over the followers. If there wasn't absolute control, our team would immediately fall apart. Get a clue, sis."

"But that doesn't make sense," South Dakota pressed on, after a quick glance at the pleading eyes of her fellow teammates. "That's not how all of the other teams work. The other teams work based on, um, mutual interest, and working as a team, not pleasing the needs and wants of just one person-"

"I'm gonna say this nicely, South. Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."

"I-"

"No. Shut up. You've had no experience in leadership whatsoever. Did _you_ become class president of sophomore year?"

"...no."

"Then shut up."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_54_mp3**

"Okay... I know my sister has good intentions. And she hasn't always been like this, believe it or not. Used to, all she cared about in school was getting good grades and beating her rivals, most of whom didn't even realize her animosity towards them. But now all she's obsessed with is leadership. She wants to be the best of the best. And frankly... it's a little unsettling."

South Dakota

**10:53**

"Okay, so far we've bought about... fifty items," Michigan said, looking over a list. Shelby, the fan, had left quite a while ago to distract the guards. "Most of it's candy and snacks. And a... laser pointer," he added, glancing over at Kentucky, who clapped his hands in glee. "So what next?"

"I think we need to buy more bulk items," Virginia stated worriedly, looking at their many bags. "I mean, we've got a lot of stuff, but... we can't just count on some team being really stupid and buying a lot of expensive stuff. This is a challenge, after all."

North Carolina stepped in, almost unnoticed, and mentioned, "I saw Team Victory carrying three big cardboard boxes. It looked like they were buying TV's or something. I'm not sure if we have to worry too much about buying cheap things anymore."

"They were?" Virginia asked, stupefied. "Well, alright. I guess... well, we have about forty dollars left... how about this. Each of y'all take five dollars and get something that you like, and we'll call it a day. It's almost been an hour, anyways."

Eagerly, each member of Team America took a five dollar bill, right when the entire team was spotted by a guard waving his fist at a teenage girl in the distance, who was sprinting away.

"Hey!" he shouted into his radio, pointing at the eight kids. "Those are the kids! Stay where you are! I found them!"

"Oh, _shit_..." Ohio muttered, dropping his money. "_Run!_"

**10:55 AM.**

Chris stood in a secluded corner of the mall, checking his watch and tapping his feet. He'd been listening to the local police radio chatter; it seemed that one of his teams had been discovered. He was biting his nails. If he lost eight kids, that would be a serious impact on the show. It would be even worse in a court room; eight witnesses to Chris's actions was a _lot_.

Moments later, however, teams Democracy, Victory, and Dakota came rushing up to him. "Where _were_ you guys?" he whispered harshly. "Did you get the stuff?"

"This isn't a drug deal, Chris!" New Jersey whispered back. "But yeah... I mean, we got a bunch of stuff..."

In an instant, Chris caught a glimpse of the girl who accompanied Team Democracy. "Oh my God."

"Chriiis! Heeeyyy!"

"This isn't happening."

"I'm baaack! Oh my gosh, these are the other teams!"

Chris dropped to his knees, and raised his hands in surrender. "I give up," he said earnestly. "I thought I would be rid of you _forever_."

Sierra's smile widened even further. "Can I staaay on the show?" she asked. "Come onnn. We have _history_, Chris!"

"_IT'S CALLED HISTORY BECAUSE IT'S OVER AND IT'S NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN SO STOP SENDING IN APPLICATIONS_."

"Awww, come on, Chris! Just for one episode."

"Shut up. We're doing the challenge right now. Give us some space."

North Dakota eyed Team Democracy and Team Victory's boxes suspiciously as Sierra inched closer to Connecticut. Even Chris looked surprised at the boxes. "You guys got that stuff with just a hundred bucks?" he asked incredulously. Just then, all eight members of Team Touchdown came running up, carrying two plastic bags each labeled "Gamestop". "Chriiis!" Texas yelled. "We need more money!"

"What?"

"Well, we ran out, and they've got the limited edition Xbox 360 up for sale, and we really really need a console to go with these games, so can you _please_ just lend us seventy more dollars-"

"Wait, how many items _did_ you guys get?"

Texas looked excited, and reached into the bags. "Ohhh, these are _gems_, y'all. We got one Xbox controller, GTA IV, Mass Effect 2 for Alabama... and if just had _seventy more dollars_ we could get an Xbox for cheap. There's this guy in an alley who says he can get us one-"

"You guys only bought _three items?_"

"Well, four, if y'all could just just lend us seventy more bucks-"

Chris groaned, and facepalmed. "You guys were supposed to buy cheap stuff."

"Well, we didn't buy _perfume _or _jewelry_ like everybody else, so we can't have spent that much money-"_  
><em>

"Ugh," Chris muttered, then glanced around, paranoid. "It doesn't matter. Where's Team America?"

"I know!" Sierra suddenly exclaimed. "One of my forum buddies is helping them out. They're currently-"

"_Help!_" Ohio suddenly shouted, running up to them with the rest of his team. "They're after us!"

"Who? The fans?" Chris asked, right before he saw who was really chasing them. There were about a dozen guards.

"_SCATTER!_"

All the teams separated. It was a frenzy of shouting and running. The guards were stunned; there were about forty kids to catch, making it impossible to take out any single culprit. "I'm gonna need backup!" one shouted into his radio. Minutes later, the teams were out the door, Chris leading the way. "Go! _Go!_" he screamed at the bus drivers waiting in the parking lot. "Everyone in! We gotta get out of here!"

"_Get back here!_" the guards shouted, waving their fists angrily at the buses. In less than ten seconds, everyone was on their respective buses and out of the parking lot, just managing to evade the police for the time being.

**12:02 PM.**

Team Victory's bus. Speeding at eighty miles per hour out of the city of Minneapolis. Noon.

"Sooo... condoms."

"Yep. Condoms."

The entire team sat in the common room of the bus for a team meeting. Three boxes of the stuff sat between the seven contestants. "Not just condoms, though!" Arizona reminded them. "For the easy price of twenty-five dollars, we also got..."

She withdrew a PDA from a bag. Idaho gaped at it. "Those things cost a fortune."

"Well, this one's a little old, but... it should be... useful?"

"Hmm," Washington murmured, inspecting the device. "It's got GPS systems, a calculator, a translator, a transmitter... no WiFi, though, so I guess we're gonna be in the dark about anything that happens on the outside. So who won the challenge?"

...

"_I'm glad you asked that, Washington!_" the radio from the dashboard of the bus blared. Chris seemed in a significantly better mood now that everyone was safe and sound on the buses. "_I took a look at everyone's receipts, aaannnd... Team Victory won the challenge with one thousand, five hundred one purchases made! Team Democracy came in second with three hundred eleven purchases made, Team America in third with seventy three purchases made, Team Dakota in fourth with twenty-eight purchases made, aaannnd... Team Touchdown: last place, with literally just three purchases made. Gooood job. Also, can someone please get Sierra off Team Democracy's bus?_"

Cheers went up in the air in Team Victory's humble little bus. "We did it!" Oregon yelled. "I wonder if we could do anything useful with all these condoms."

Disgusted looks were flung towards Oregon, who suddenly froze up. "_NO!_" he yelped. "Not like _that__!_ I mean something creative, like as, um... water balloons, or... um... never mind."

**6:55 PM.**

Sirens blared in the distance. Team Touchdown's bus was parked in the middle of a rather large, deserted parking lot of a soon to be built supermarket on the edge of town. Sierra stood with them, slightly crestfallen that she was being sent back to Canada after immediately placing herself back into the season. Chris seemed a little more paranoid than ever, and kept glancing towards the highway in the distance.

"Welcome to the voting ceremony, yadda-yadda-yadda, let's get to it. Today, I _do_ have snacks. Team America was kind enough to, uh... _relieve_ a bit of their candy. It mainly involved threatening them with an elimination ceremony until they gave it up. When I call your name, you get one, and that means you're safe. If you don't get one, it means everyone hates your guts, and you're heading home. Sound fun? Let's do it."

Everyone glanced around nervously at each other. There was no clear person to vote for this round. Chris grinned evilly, and began giving out snacks.

"Arkansas! Zero votes. Here you go!"

A bag of Oreo's landed in his lap. Chris continued, "Georgia and Louisiana! No votes. Cheetos for the both of you."

That just left Texas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama, and South Carolina. Chris frowned. "The votes were everywhere today," he informed them. "A liiittle crazy. But whatever. This bag of Nutty Buddies goes to... Tennessee! Not sure why you got a vote."

She caught the bag gratefully. Chris eyed the remaining four teens.

"Next snack is for... Mississippi! One vote."

Chris looked over the final three. Texas, Alabama, and South Carolina. He shrugged. "The penultimate bag is for..."

...

"Alabama. One vote, dude."

He exhaled, and caught the bag of brownies with no trouble. It was down to just Texas and South Carolina now.

"It seems like this person would've been voted off, had it not been for an alliance of three to vote for the other person. The last bag goes to..."

...

...

...

"...Texas. Two votes."

He grinned in relief, as South Carolina stood up incredulously. "_What__?_" she exclaimed. "No! That's - why me?"

"I dunno. You got votes from three people who seem to be allied at the moment."

"Who?" she asked desperately, as an intern arrived with her bag. Chris shrugged. "It should be blatantly obvious to anybody who's been watching the show up until this point. Anyways. See you later, South Carolina. Hope your sis isn't too upset."

"Oh, no..." she muttered. "My sister. Chris, this is _your_ fault! If y'all just let me be on Team America with my sister, this never would have happened-"

"Yeah, whatever," Chris cut her off, evidently annoyed at this point. "I said, 'See you later'. That means go. You _too_, Sierra! I don't wanna see you here again, either."

South Carolina stared at her team. Most of the girls seemed shocked that she was the one going home tonight. With a huff, she stomped away with Sierra towards the cab, hoisting her pink travel bag a little higher as she walked.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_55_mp3**

"I do feel kinda bad about singlin' out South Carolina. Personally, I didn't even think it would work, it was just me, Alabama, an' his girlfriend all votin' 'gainst the same person. Secretly... I kinda felt like either me or Al would be goin' home, an' to be honest, we do kinda deserve it. But it looks like we've got the power to vote off anyone we want, so... we got nothin' to fear anymore."

Texas

**7:08 PM.**

"They _what__?_"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. They escaped right before we could catch them."

"Ugh. You people are pathetic."

Toronto, Canada. Early evening. Chris had evaded escape while the network producers tried desperately to hunt him down and release the kids.

"Is that it? Do you have anything else to tell us? I'm a busy woman, you know. Running a television network isn't exactly easy."

"Well... I have a client who feels as though she can take down Mr. McLean."

"What's her name?"

"She only goes by 'B'. She feels that once Chris is out of the way... she could be an excellent host for the season."

"Hmph. Any experience?"

"Oh, yes. Plenty."

"...bring her in."

A woman dressed in all black attire walked in. Long, blonde hair flowed from her head. She had a smug little grin on her face.

"So," the producer said, leaning back in her chair. "You say you can bring Chris McLean to me."

"Oh, yes," B said, smiling widely at the thought. "I know him better than most others. You'll have him by the end of the week."

"Good. Make sure there are no casualties. I hope this goes unsaid. This is a television network for kids, after all, and we feel that after some... _reeducation_, McLean could be fit for hosting once more. Thank you, 'B'."

...

"We don't have to use the code names," B awkwardly said. "There's nobody listening, and you know perfectly well who I am-"

"I like using the code names. It makes me feel like I'm the head of an evil corporation."

...

"Um. Okay, then."

"Good. Have McLean here by the end of the week. I expect your full attention on the matter. If you succeed... you will be the new host of the show."

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, and South Carolina.

**aspiringAnimator** - Upon the backs of a thousand chanting, brilliant angels, I bring you the thirteenth episode of The Fifty State Roadtrip! The crowd goes wild with dismay, and commits mass suicide. By the way, I was REAAALLY tempted to name this chapter "1,500 Condoms" just for fun, but I'm not sure that would be allowed.

Also... you may have noticed a change in style. There are no more X's lining the screen to signify changes in scene. Personally, I hated the X's, and I only used them because the horizontal line feature works like 50% of the time. What do you think?

The poll continues to be a thing that exists. Also, sorry for writing long chapters. This was surprisingly the longest yet. It's a bad habit of mine. I SEEM to be keeping up with the update schedule regardless of the fact that I have school every week day. Also, review! You need not an account. I really DO listen to my reviews... as you can see with a few characters in this chapter. Anyways, until next time.


	15. The Show Must Go On

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 14: THE SHOW MUST GO ON**

_"I can feel them converging around me as I speak." - Chris_

**Wednesday, August 20th, 2014. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 11:23 AM.**

"I can't believe it... she _actually got herself voted off?_"

North Carolina was voicing her woes to Indiana, who shrugged in response. "I mean," North Carolina continued, "I never, ever expected her to get very far in the game, but... we've only been in it for a month and a half."

"I dunno," Indiana muttered, sketching something out. "But you can't really see it as _that_ surprising, considering she was on a team with _so many_ simply _outstanding_ intellectuals."

"Okay, yeah," North Carolina admitted, rubbing her forehead. "Yeah... but still, that's the thing. I mean, compared to most of the people on that team, she was _smart_. But... whatever."

The two girls sat in silence for a few moments, as the steady sound of the bus droned on and on. North Carolina looked out the window with a sigh at the Atlantic Ocean. "Looks pretty," she muttered, pointing at the shimmering waters. Indiana shrugged in response, focusing on her drawing.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_56_mp3**

"To those of you at home listening to this, try to just disregard what I'm saying. This is a message to South Carolina. Sis? I'm sorry you got voted off. I'm not sure what happened, and don't worry, I have no intention of asking. I just hope you're not too broken up about it. What I mean is... it was just a silly game, and that's always what it was supposed to be. Yeah, we didn't get to be on the same team, and only saw each other briefly every few days, but we auditioned to have fun, didn't we? Anyways. Hope you're rooting for me back home. Tell Caleb I said hi."

North Carolina

**12:01 PM.**

"CampTV, McLean is beginning to slow," a masked agent muttered into a walkie-talkie. "Current speed is now twenty-eight miles per hour... maintaining speed."

"_Hope you know what you're doing!_" a woman's voice called from the radio. "_You think this is the day, agent B?_"_  
><em>

"Yep. Also, you really don't have to use the code words, they're frankly a bit silly-"

"_I like the code words._"

"They're unnece-"

"_I like them._"

...

Agent B's car was tailing the five large buses along the highways of South Carolina. Within an hour, they would be stopped for the fourteenth challenge of the show. It had been incredibly easy to find the buses; it's not exactly an easy task to hide five long black charter buses out of view. As far as the agent knew, Chris didn't even suspect she was tailing them. A bright August sun gleamed down upon them all. This was going to be a fun day.

**12:36**** PM.**

Chris peered out the tinted windows of his personal limousine. The gleaming bright Atlantic coast skidded by. He checked his watch, and told his driver, "Yo, we were supposed to be there five minutes ago! What gives?"

His only response was a shrug. Chris grumbled something, and nervously glanced around once more. For the past week or so, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched.

"Alright..." he breathed, looking at the vehicle's surrounding. "Okay, this is good..."

He grabbed the walkie-talkie, and yelled into it, "Campers! I - I mean, contestants. Contestants. We're here. Stop the buses. We're getting out."

Chris shuddered, almost dreading the upcoming challenge. Usually, he was very pumped about hosting his own show, but after the most recent events, in addition to being charged with kidnapping, attempted assault, and who knows what else, he was growing to dread the whole process. But the show must go on.

The show must go on.

"Stop here," Chris grunted, and stepped out of the limo. He stretched, and looked around. The car was parked on the side of a long boardwalk. Down past the walkway, a sandy expanse greeted them, and past that, the murky gray Atlantic Ocean. There weren't many people; it was a Wednesday, and summer was beginning to wane already. Beside the limousine, five charter buses parked, each slowly letting out the thirty-seven contestants. Chris flashed his trademark smile, but it seemed slightly hampered. The smile was twitchy, and feigned. "Happy challenge day!" he greeted the contestants once the majority of them had filed out. Smiles grew; it seemed like a fun day at the beach was ahead.

This was not the case.

Kansas stepped out of Team Dakota's bus, squinting at the brightness. "We're going to the beach?" he asked Chris, who shook his head in reply.

"Nope! Well, sort of. But there's no need for bathing suits this time. I would change into mine, but I'm sort of wearing a bullet-proof vest, so..."

Chris awkwardly fidgeted. Ohio leaned over to Virginia, and whispered, "Please let him be joking."

...

"Anyway!" Chris said with a clap of his hands. "If you would all follow me!"

Chris descended the wooden steps down onto the beach. The contestants followed. A few had to strip off some of their clothes; the August sun evidently wasn't really doing it well for a few of the warmly-dressed northerners like New York and Delaware.

The thirty-eight people walked down the beach to the water, garnering stares as they went by. Seeing three dozen fully-dressed teenagers at the beach wasn't _entirely_ normal. Nevertheless, Chris pointed at the sand about twenty feet from the water.

"We're making sand castles!"

Groans went up in the air. A few people looked mildly excited, but quickly assumed a fallen expression when it was apparent that nobody else wanted to build sand castles but them. Chris frowned at the reaction. "That's not the spirit!" he yelled, trying in vain to garner excitement. "It's either this or we spend a week undercover. I was tempted, too, but I wanna stay on schedule. So get building!"

"Who's gonna judge them?" Arizona asked. Chris froze for a few moments, thinking, as though he hadn't actually planned this out. "I will!" he decided. "We usually have three judges, but... we're sort of... yeah. Not in a position where I can actually get the judges here. Anyways. Chop chop. Two hours. Get to it."

**12:54 PM.**

"Does anyone know where the shovel is?" Tennessee asked over the din of people shouting and yelling and building. "Right here!" Georgia responded, tossing her the tool. "Coming through!" Arkansas yelled, carrying a large pail of water. "I don't wanna spill this. It'd be another trip back to the water."

Mississippi stood, doing nothing but looking intently at Texas and Alabama, who were sitting in the sand about ten feet away from the sand castle. "Hey..." she slowly asked, "can't we let Texas and Alabama build with us?"

"No!" Louisiana said firmly, covered in sand. "This is payback for last round. Today, the girls get to build. We're tired of being left out."

Whoops went up in the air from most of the girls, and a quiet cough from Arkansas, who glanced at Louisiana pointedly. "Oh," she muttered. "And Arkansas."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_57_mp3**

"Lemme say this right off the bat. I really like the guys of our team! They're real fun to be 'round. But like _hell_ are they gonna run the show on this team. 'Specially not after last challenge. Not exactly leadership material, know what I mean? But anyways. It was just for this episode as payback. An' buildin' sand castles is fun! I never knew."

Louisiana

**12:55 PM.**

Texas sighed, and kicked at the sand absentmindedly. "Damn, dude..." he mumbled. "I mean, I wouldn't'a been exactly thrilled 'bout buildin' me some sand castles, but... c'mon, dude. You're lettin' your girlfriend kick your butt. Wear the pants of the relationship."

Alabama sighed, mirroring Texas. "Nah, man," he replied, looking out over the ocean. "It _was_ our fault we lost yesterday, and we didn't even take the blame. So... yeah, I think we deserve this. Plus, yeah, I wouldn't'a been too excited 'bout buildin' me a little princess tower out'a sand, know what I mean?"

Texas chuckled, grinning. "Arkansas seems to be havin' a blast," he remarked, looking at his five teammates in the sand. Alabama looked over the beach in deep thought. He then broke the brief silence.

"Well..." Alabama began, thinking. "Some people like doin' some things that others might not like. We're all different. And if Arkansas really wants to build some sand castles, or read books, then... damn it, I ain't gonna stop him."

...

"You ain't goin' through _character development_, are you, Al?"

"Shut up, man! I'm just thinkin' out loud here."

"Excuse me!" a woman's voice quietly said. Texas turned around carefully to see a tall, skinny, blonde woman wearing shades and some raggedy clothing. She had a newspaper to cover most of her face. "Hi! I was just wondering what was going on here."

"Who're you?" Texas asked the lady. She waved a hand like it didn't matter. "Never mind that!" she cried, and then leaned in. "So... is this for... a reality television show?"

"Yeah. Why?" Texas asked. Alabama then turned around to join Texas in the conversation, looking curious. The woman smiled widely, wearing bright cherry red lipstick. "Well, I was looking over at that host over there," she said slowly, as though Texas and Alabama were mentally handicapped. "And I recognized him as _the_ Chris McLean!"

"Yeah...?"

"He sure does seem like a mean guy, doesn't he?" she added, expression covered by her over sized shades. Alabama shrugged, and mumbled, "He's alri-"

"What would be your reactions to a new host?"

...

She smiled widely at them, evidently patiently awaiting their response. However... there was something slightly menacing about her. For one thing, she smelled strongly of dead flowers.

"Uhhh... a new host?"

"Yes! For The Fifty State Roadtrip," she explained slowly, smiling even wider. Alabama frowned, and said, "Wait, ain't you that lady from-"

There was then an instant in which Chris looked over casually towards Team Touchdown's group. The woman sprang up, and shouted, "I need to go. I'll see you kids later!"

She flounced off rather quickly, leaving Texas and Alabama without a response. The two merely shrugged, while Texas muttered, "That was weird."

**1:09 PM.**

"How does this look?" Massachusetts asked, indicating a tall spiral tower he'd constructed. Connecticut looked it up and down, and nodded his approval. "It looks nice!" he commented, filling up a pail with sand. "I think we need to make our sand castle really tall. Like... like a skyscraper or something..."

"That's... an idea," Massachusetts said slowly. "I'm not sure how practical that would be, though, but... um. It's something."

Connecticut nodded vigorously, clearly dreaming up plans for a sand tower to reach to the stars. Massachusetts rolled his eyes, and set his attention back on the task at hand. But a few moments later, he found his mind distracted by other thoughts.

"Um... Connecticut?"

"Hmm. Hm?"

"What do you think, hypothetically, if I liked someone from our team?"

"Hmm. Yes... wait. What?"

"Purely hypothetically, obviously."

"Wow. Really, Massachusetts?" Connecticut asked in disbelief. "Well... lemme guess. New Jersey."

"Huh? Wait, What? Ew, no. It's-"

"New York, then."

"It's not a guy! Jesus, Connecticut."

...

"But you're gay."

"Oh my God," Massachusetts groaned, facepalming. "I keep telling you, I'm - forget it. I didn't say anything."

"No, wait, what were you gonna say? C'mon, you can tell me. I'm the only one on this team with any experience in romance on this show."

...

Massachusetts sighed. "Well. It's Maine," he said quietly, avoiding any eye contact.

...

"Oh. A girl? Huh. So you're not gay, then?"

"Oh my God, Connecticut. I told you. I'm bi."

"But didn't you have a thing for Vermont at one point?"

"Do you even know what bisexual means?"

Connecticut drew up a blank face. "It's like..." he began, gesturing in ways that did not help. "It's another word for gay."

"It's not."

"It isn't?" Connecticut asked, in absolute disbelief.

"It means I'm attracted to both genders. Y'know, you're making this harder than it needs to be."

...

"So you like her?"

Massachusetts sighed quietly, and looked down at the sand. The rest of his team was diligently working under the guide of New York. "I guess," he admitted. "I mean... it's kind of silly, I think, but I think we've grown to be pretty good friends over the last few weeks, and... I dunno. She's kind of a fun person to be around."

Connecticut coughed, grinning slightly. Massachusetts stared at him. "What?" he asked, bewildered.

"Well... she's no Rhode Island."

Massachusetts laughed out loud. "You've still got a crush on her?" he asked, unbelieving. "She's gone, man. Sorry. And I don't think Chris is bringing anybody back into the show."

New York heard the laughter, and pointed at the two guys. "Hey!" he yelled. "We've got a sand castle to build here. We could use your help."

"Coming!" Connecticut called, and stood up. "Don't worry, dude," he said, smiling. "I won't tell her. Or anyone, I guess."

"Thanks, Connecticut," Massachusetts replied with a tiny grin, and grabbed a shovel.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_58_mp3**

"I should, um, probably clarify my attraction to Maine here. It's not, like, a random thing. I've known Maine for a few weeks now, and generally, she's a pretty nice person to be around. She was sympathetic to the fact that I'm bi, and is probably one of the few people on this show I could call an honest friend. So... yeah, this isn't coming out of nowhere or anything like that. And... I was thinking about what New York said. About, y'know, pairing up with other people on the show, and how it might help you later on. I just hope I'm not about to, like, jump head first into reject city."

Massachusetts

**1:16 PM.**

"What if we, like... use _underwear as a flag?_"

"We're not doing that, Kentucky."

"But... it would be so funny..."

The members of Team America worked on constructing what was to be one of the most intricately designed sand castles to be seen yet. Though it was starting to pale in comparison to Team Victory's spiraling towers, there was no way it would take Team America into last place. The team was pretty much set for this challenge.

Until the bickering began.

"Michigan, I don't think it's a good idea to use more water. It's compact enough as it is."

"It's _fine_, Ohio. There's no need to worry. I'm just cementing what we have already."

...

"Right, because you're so very good at designing."

"Are you being sarcastic, Ohio?"

"Of _course_ not."_  
><em>

...

Eyes began to roll from the other members of the team. For the last three weeks or so, Ohio and Michigan had done nothing but hurl passive-aggressive comments at each other, like, "_Someone_ forgot to empty the trash can last night. I wonder who."

Virginia had long discarded the very notion of trying to separate them, or stop the bickering. The two spent every moment together doing nothing but hating each other. It would've been cute if it wasn't severely distracting to everyone else.

"Well, _I'm_ not the one who clogged the toilet last month."

"Are you implying_I_ was the one who did that, Ohio?"

"I'm not sure. I'm just saying it wasn't me."

There was a brief pause. Ohio reached out a hand, and-

"Ohio! Watch it. You almost knocked over that column."

"Don't tell me what to watch, Michigan. I'll watch what I want."

"You're being unreasonable."

"And you're being stupid."

Michigan gaped at his teammate. "That's not very mature..." he muttered under his breath. Ohio fumed.

"What'd you say?"

"Like you care."

"No, tell me. I am absolutely _ensconced_ in the folds of your personal infatuation with me, Michigan."

"I - what? Forget it, dude, we've got to work on this."

...

"Ohio. You almost knocked over another column."

"My hand was nowhere near that column! You've got to stop bossing everyone around."

Virginia cleared her throat. "Um. Guys?" she quietly said. "Can you keep it down? We're trying to work here."

"Look what you did, Michigan. You made Virginia upset."

Virginia looked taken aback at Ohio. "What the hell, Ohio?" she said, looking over him suspiciously. "What's gotten into you? I'm not ups-"

"Yeah, Ohio. What's even gotten _into_ you?"

Ohio's fists curled up into a ball. "Shut up. All of you."

Michigan eyed Ohio rather cautiously now, and scooted away from him. "Jeez."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_59_mp3**

"Okay. That might have gone a little overboard. But still, my point stands strong. Ohio's rude and irresponsible. He starts every argument! Almost _always_ I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, and then Ohio comes along, and he's always trying to mess with me. I _like_ to think that we could've been good friends if we had actually tried, but... I don't know if I'd want to be friends with someone like _him_.

Michigan

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_60_mp3**

"What's Michigan's deal? He's always butting in and telling me what to do. And bossy, too. He starts every argument! He's such a meddler. Always bugging and fussing and meddling. What's his deal? He thinks _he_ actually has what it takes to be a leader. Y'know what? I think he's even conspiring against me now. Probably wants to kick me off the show. I... guess I'll be forced to take him out before he gets me out of the game. And no, we're not _rivals_, or whatever people are calling us. That's not a thing. Stop that."

Ohio

**1:35 PM.**

North Dakota's scowl grew deeper and deeper as she surveyed her team's pitiable creation. There were less than thirty minutes left on the clock, and the best her team had been able to construct was a rather damp looking mound of sand with a few piles around it here and there. After a while, even South Dakota began to help her team make it look a little nicer, but to no avail.

"So what do we do?" South Dakota murmured, looking worriedly at her five teammates all diligently trying their best. "I mean... I don't think we're winning with something like this."

North Dakota didn't respond, and just looked around the sunny beach to sneak peeks at the other teams' sculptures. By far, Team Victory's towering monolith of a creation was in the lead in terms of aesthetic appeal; Oregon, the primary architect, had been forced to use a ladder to reach the highest points.

North Dakota grinned slyly. "I've got a plan," she muttered, and walked off. South Dakota was left standing there with her mouth open, gaping at her sister's "dramatic" exit. "What's that supposed to mean?" she cried after her.

"Well..." she began, pausing before she left. "Our team clearly has no artistic ability. If we can find a way to, oh, I don't know... make one of the _other_ team's castles look worse than ours, then we might win."

South Dakota appeared confused. "And... just _how_ are we going to do that? It'd better not involve chea-"

"I'll be right back," North Dakota finished with a sneaky grin, and set off for Team Victory's structure. South Dakota shook her head slowly at her sister, and elected to get back to work on her own team's work.

**1:38 PM.**

"It's magnificent..." Washington gaped, looking up at the sand castle. A huge pit laid about fifteen feet away, from where they got their sand used to build it. Oregon glanced down from his perch on the ladder, and waved, grinning widely.

"Cool, huh?" Hawaii remarked, looking up at the structure. Washington nodded. "Yeah. Careful, it's not too sturdy... but I think we've got this challenge in the bag. It looks like a skyscraper, almost."

Over about five feet away, Arizona and New Mexico stood side by side, holding hands, and looking up at the castle. "Wow..." Arizona breathed, looking up. "It was a lot of work, but I think it _really_ paid off."

New Mexico nodded, grinning, wearing his iconic shades against the bright southern sun. "You think there might be a prize?" he wondered. "It'd be nice if we got somethin' useful for our team. Somethin' that could, like, connect to the internet."

"We've got our PDA," she reminded him. "It's going to come in handy. I just know it. And anyways, I think the main prize is that we _don't_ go to voting tonight. Our team is at its bare bones enough as it is."

"Yeah, I guess..." New Mexico mumbled, gripping her hand a little tighter.

A few feet away, Idaho was lifting a pail of water up to Oregon via the step ladder. He climbed down, began to walk the perimeter of Team Victory's castle. He tripped on an outstretched leg.

"Oh, _sh_-"

He tumbled, and fell onto the ladder. Oregon shrieked, lost his grip, and toppled to the sandy ground below. The ladder swayed precariously back and forth, right before it fell onto the structure. After a lot of shouting, screaming, and running, the structure had been reduced to a large pile of sand.

There was a long period of silence in which everyone stared at the decimated structure. Chris came running up.

"What the _hell_ just happened?"

Idaho was sitting in the pile, looking incredibly terrified and confused.

"I... I tripped on something, I fell-"

Groans went up from Team Victory, while the other teams rejoiced. Chris sighed, and checked his watch. "Well," he began, "it's about time for judging, so let's get this on with, I guess. Team Touchdown. Show me your castle."

Team Touchdown's structure was a whimsically-designed, elaborate structure that looked a lot like Hogwarts. Chris grinned at it, nodding. "I like this one!" he decided. "It's detailed. I give Team Touchdown seven points."

Arkansas delivered high-fives to his teammates. Chris smiled, and moved onto Team Democracy. Before Chris, stood an array of artistic, yet simple towers of sand. It looked like a futuristic city.

"Hmmm. Six, I guess. Decent. Next up!"

Chris moved onto Team Victory's now decimated castle. He sighed. "Y'know, I actually liked this one a lot!" he announced to the awaiting contestants. "Buuut... in this state? I'd give it a two. It's just a pile of sand."

Washington crossed his arms in defiance, looking outright furious. Oregon was holding back tears, looking at the pile of sand like he'd lost a brother. Chris rolled his eyes, and moved onto Team Dakota. The castle from Team Dakota wasn't very impressive at all. It could probably be best described as "minimalistic". North Dakota's gaze went back and forth from hers to Team Victory's. With enough luck... the ruse she'd concocted would put Team Victory in dead last.

"I give this one a four. It's not that good."

Chris moved onto Team America's huge creation. It was a pure, rectified fortress of sand, seemingly impenetrable. Chris nodded his head in approval, overlooking the design. "I like this!" he decided, squinting. "This team has a lot of artistic talent. I'm gonna have to give Team America... an eight!"

A roar of cheers went up from the team, everyone jumping up and celebrating. Even Michigan and Ohio shared a rather awkward embrace, after which they quickly stepped away from each other as soon as it was over. "Yes!" Virginia cheered. "We did it!"

"Which means!" Chris continued, looking over Team Victory with a devilish grin. "Which means... Team Victory is going to voting today. Not too surprising."

Washington groaned, and rubbed his eyes. "But Chris," he began, "Our sand castle was surely one of the best. It was an accident. Idaho didn't mean to do that. Wait..."

"Too bad, so sad!" Chris said, making a mock pouting face at Washington. "You kids are going to be the first to have a six-person group. Like I said... lots of firsts with this group here. To the buses! And fast. I think we're being followed."

As the teams entered the buses, Washington glanced over at North Dakota, who stared straight back at him. He got the message.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_61_mp3**

"That was a dirty move. Someone like North Dakota is going to get far in this game, if she keeps playing her cards the way she is. I wonder if this was the first time she's deliberately sabotaged my teammates. Well, regardless... it looks like Idaho's going home tonight, even though that probably wasn't his fault. I feel sorry for the big guy."

Washington

**6:54 PM.**

"Hurry it up!" Chris yelled, beckoning the seven members of Team Victory out of their bus. A waning crescent moon began to dip below the horizon. "We're on a tight schedule, kids. I can feel them converging around me as I speak."

Hawaii rolled his eyes at Chris's paranoia, and sat down on the pavement with the rest of his teammates. Chris looked around them again. Team Victory's bus had evidently parked in the middle of a deserted parking lot outside Charleston. Chris looked at a long list, and shook his head slightly, eyes bulging.

"We're gonna do this fast this time, since I'm not sure how much time I have left... when I call your name, blah-blah-blah, no snacks today because I am currently a wanted man... there. Here we go. Arizona, Hawaii, New Mexico, Washington, California, and Oregon. Blah-blah-blah, you're all safe, California and Oregon, you both got one vote."

Idaho was the only person whose name wasn't called. "Wait... what?" he stammered.

"You got five votes, Idaho. Beat it."

"I... it was an accident, I swear-"

Chris checked his watch again. "I'm not gonna ask you again. Go home. Your time on Team Victory is up. You didn't talk much, anyways, and I am _ONE HUNDRED_ percent sure you faked your skateboarding audition tape."

Idaho was about to say something, but was interrupted just at the last moment.

He was interrupted by a helicopter.

"_Christian 'Chris' McLean!_" a voice on a loudspeaker cried. Approaching police sirens were wailing. "_You are wanted for the kidnapping and attempted assault of thirty-seven minors! Hands in the air!_"

Chris squinted up at the helicopter. A bright spotlight was on him. The members of Team Victory began backing away slowly. "What?!" he screamed. "You're got to be _kidding_ me! This is _MY SHOW!_"

"Not anymore, it isn't!"

An elaborately-dressed woman in a bright red dress stepped out of a limousine as half a dozen police cars began converging around Chris and the now six members of Team Victory. California screamed, and began yelling something about her innocence to never trying drugs. The woman, whipping off the shades to reveal a bright smile, exposed herself to be none other than Blaineley.

"_Blaineley?_"

"That's right!" she shouted, waving her arms dramatically at the scene. Armed police officers began surrounding Chris, who had his hands in the air. "I declare you," Blaineley yelled with unnecessary flourish, "Chris McLean, to be _banished_ from hosting this show!"

"This is _my_ show! Hey, hands off! You can't do this!"

"Not anymore, it isn't! I, Blaineley O'Halloran, am now the new host of Total Drama... which one is this, again?"

"The Fifty State Roadtrip. Bitch."

Blaineley cheered, and began waving her hands around a lot, impeded by the snugness of her dress. "Total Drama _The Fifty State Roadtrip!_" she squealed. "You, Chris McLean, are _fired__!_"

Chris rolled his eyes as his hands were rather forcefully handcuffed together. "This is so stupid..." he muttered. "Hey, Blaineley? You suck at being dramatic."

She gasped exaggeratedly. "I am _shocked!_" she cried, hand on her heart. "I hope _prison_ beats some manners into that mouth of yours, Chris!"_  
><em>

"I was being _nice_ about letting you be a judge during that once fashion challenge, anyway! Since you were in such a _high need_ of a job. When you called me, hah, you were outright sob-"_  
><em>

"And that's all the time we have today!" Blaineley decided, looking straight at the cameras that were now focused right on her. "What will happen next time on Total Drama The Fifty State Roadtrip?" she asked. "Find out with your brand new host... me!"

She began screaming with laughter. A few members of Team Victory inched away from her. "See you next time!" she cried, waving at Chris as he was shoved into the back of a South Carolina police cruiser. "Hope the tabloids go easy on you!"

**END OF ACT 1**

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, and Idaho.

**aspiringAnimator -** And so ends Act 1. Yes, this is being split up into four separate acts, with an intermission in between each. I decided so. I waved my wand, and it was done. Even though magic continues to be fake, despite my best wishes every day.

So. What do you guys think of the story so far? Is the writing good? Do you think there are some characters that need more fleshing out? Wait, what am I saying, of course there are. A character like Maryland has had like two lines during this entire story so far. Hey, I'm working with like thirty-six characters here.

If you're disappointed your state has already been voted off... I dunno what to tell you. All of the eliminations have been planned for months before now. I rarely make exceptions. If it makes you feel any better, I think Florida and Alaska were originally supposed to be finalists.

Anyway! Review! Follow! Favorite! It helps a lot, believe it or not. I've been happy with how well this story's been received so far, and I'm eager to write more.


	16. Aftermath 1

**AFTERMATH TEAMS**

**Supporting Team Touchdown** - Idaho, Missouri, and Wisconsin.

**Supporting Team Democracy** - Minnesota, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

**Supporting Team Victory** - Alaska, Florida, and Nevada.

**Supporting Team Dakota** - Iowa, Montana, and Wyoming.

**Supporting Team America** - South Carolina and West Virginia.

**BEGINNING OF INTERMISSION 1**

**EPISODE 15: AFTERMATH 1**

_"_Don't trust Ohio." - Michigan__

**Sunday, August 24th, 2014. Toronto, Canada. 6:00 PM.**

"Welcome... to first 'The Fifty State Roadtrip' Aftermath!"

A crowd cheers. Blaineley smiled widely as she stood on stage and held a microphone. "I," she began with flourish, "am the _new host_ on the actual show! But first... let's meet our losers!"

More cheering. Blaineley waved her arms around a lot while giggling ecstatically, and then pointed at the curtain on the left. Wyoming, dressed in a decent looking tuxedo, appeared, waving nervously at the crowd.

"Welcome to the Aftermath, Wyoming! _You_ made _history_ a month and a half ago as the _first person_ to get voted off! In fact, as far as everyone knows, you never even got to say anything, you were kicked out so fast! What do you have to say about that?"

Wyoming fumbled for the microphone, and quickly muttered, "Well, um... I don't know. From what I've seen on the show so far, I'm a little glad I didn't have to go through what some of these guys are doing."

"I know right!" Blaineley screamed, and the audience laughed on cue. "Well, Wyoming," she said, grinning a little more, "take your seat in the peanut gallery, because you've got a few of your friends arriving! Bring out: the beautiful, the blonde, and the sensitive to excessive heat: _Alaskaaa!_"

Alaska walked on stage, waving silently at the audience and wearing a heavy white jacket. "Evening," she said into the microphone. "It's interesting to be here tonight."

"So, Alaska," Blaineley stated, looking her in the eyes. "What _happened_ during your time on the show? Why was your blunder such an incredibly terrible one?"

"Well," Alaska began, sweeping her long blonde hair out of her eyes, "it was just the climate, I suppose. Honestly, I was expecting this season to be filmed up in Canada, like all the other Total Drama seasons."

"You were wrong!" Blaineley cried, giggling hysterically. "Go take a seat. Up next is a small town girl, thrown right into the heart of a big game. Give it up for Missouri!"

The audience applauded, as Missouri walked on stage wearing a cheap looking pink dress. "Hey, y'all," she said. Blaineley suppressed a laugh at Missouri's accent, and quickly said, "So. How does it feel to have been the first person voted off of Team Touchdown? You had quite the voting ceremony!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_1_mp3**

_"Sorry, Missouri!" Chris then declared. "You got the five votes. Your taxi awaits you. I think you have a long... long drive home."_

_Missouri turned around to face her team. There were tears in her eyes, but she stood strong. "Why?" she asked them. "What did I do to deserve this? I've been... I've been nice to every single one of you."_

Missouri winced as the clip from the show played. "Ummm..." she said slowly, after it finished, fidgeting slightly. "I dunno... I just kinda thought I'd last a little longer than three episodes..."

"Wrong again!" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together. "Now go take a seat. Coming right at us, as the fans call it, is the dear, voted-off member of the Romeo and Juliet pairing early in the season: otherwise known as Rhode Island! Come on stage!"

Rhode Island, with her bushy red hair and wide smile, walked on stage to meet Blaineley. "Hi," she stammered.

"So. Connecticut, am I right? Your short-lived relationship with him sent the fans _wild_ as people were scrambling to take note of the very first couple on the show so far. Unfortunately, you were voted off that very same episode! The comparison to the ill-fated Romeo and Juliet is remarkable. Any thoughts?"

"Ummm... I don't know about that, really," she slowly said with care. "I mean, he's nice and all, but I've kind of... put him out of my mind since I was voted off. It's actually been kind of painful to watch him still missing me in some of the more recent episodes..."

Blaineley gasped dramatically, and faced the audience. "Did you people hear that?" she said with overt flourish. "Rhode Island has completely _forgotten_ about Connecticut! On _multiple_ occasions he wished you could come back into the game."

Rhode Island shifted around uncomfortably. After a lengthy pause in which there was no response, Blaineley sighed, and pointed at the benches. "Pop a seat down there, Rhode," she said. "Up next is the second contestant voted off of Team Victory. Say hello to Montana!"

Montana walked up without a smile. She was wearing plain, every-day clothing. "Yep," was all she said.

"So Montana. Before coming here, you've told us that you're currently rooting for Team Dakota, instead of your own team. Interesting move, but why?"

"Well," Montana began, looking thoughtful. "Team Victory is going to lose. That's why. Everyone on it's too soft. I'm supporting Team Dakota, because I'm pretty certain that North Dakota is going to easily take this game."

"Interesting!" Blaineley commented, giving the audience a wink. "Well, sit down in the peanut gallery with your friends, and we'll talk more about that later, because Iowa's coming up next! Come on out, Iowa!"

Iowa grinned shyly, and walked onstage, wearing a suit that seemed a size too small for him. "Hello," he stammered, walking up to the ever-intimidating Blaineley.

"So, Iowa! You've garnered yourself an unexpected fan base after you revealed a few weeks ago that Justin Bieber is your cousin. Do you have anything to say about this?"

"Well, um, actually, he's a second cousin once removed, not a first cousin. I haven't even met him."

"That's boring. Go sit down, Iowa, so we can get on with the next loser. Come on out, Vermont!"

Vermont walked on stage, wearing a tuxedo and waving. He did not say anything. "So," Blaineley began, looking keen to keep this moving. "Rumors have it that you're mute to all but your best friends. Is this true?"

He did not say anything.

"Moving on. In the very episode that you were voted off, Massachusetts, one of the most-liked contestants on the show so far, revealed he was somewhat attracted to you. Fans went wild ten minutes later into the episode when you were voted off. How did this make you feel? And do you reciprocate Massachusetts's feelings?"

He did not say anything. Blaineley rubbed her eyes, and merely pointed towards at the other losers on the bench. "Just go sit down, mutey," she said huffily. "Let's bring out our favorite stalker-ginger combo: West Virginia!"

West Virginia, smiling widely, walked on stage to greet Blaineley. "Hi, Blaineley!" he chimed. Blaineley gave him a pat on the head, and lied, "It's so good to meet you! So. Let's talk about _Virginia_."

"Oh!" West Virginia yelped. "No, don't worry, I've thought a _lot_ about it these past few weeks, and I've decided."

"On... what?"

"I forgive her for voting for me! _HEH!_" he declared, smiling widely. Blaineley appeared confused. "I... don't think she regretted that," she said slowly.

"No, it's better now!" West Virginia insisted. "I know _so_ much more about her than I used to! She was born and raised in Richmond, Virginia, has one little brother, attended-"

"Okay, that's enough, West Virginia," Blaineley decided, pushing him away in the face cheerily. "I'd love for you to talk more, but we've got more contestants to meet! Come out, Nevada!"

Nevada, wearing a beautiful orange dress to match her hair, waved as she walked onstage, smiling brightly. "Good evening, Blaineley!" she stated elegantly, approaching the microphone. "It's good to be here."

"Likewise!" Blaineley responded. "So how are you liking your time off the show so far? Is there anything you missed?" Nevada thought about that one for a few moments. "Traveling all over the country," she decided after a pause. "That was pretty interesting. Other than that... I'm not sure. It was a lot of work for, as Washington said, a two percent chance at winning a million dollars."

"Very observant, Nevada!" Blaineley commented with a wide grin. "Take a seat. Our next loser is Wisconsin, hailing for the prestigious Team America. Say hi, Wisconsin!"

Wisconsin walked on stage, wearing a suit and tie. "Hi," he said, extending a friendly hand to Blaineley, who inched away somewhat noticeably. "Anyway!" she yelled into the microphone. "After he was voted off, Wisconsin has made ripples in the online community by starting his very own gaming channel on Youtube. How do you react to this recent popularity, Wisconsin?"

"Um. I dunno. I had like twenty thousand followers on Twitter when I got home after getting voted off, so I tweeted that I'd start a Youtube channel, and... it was pretty easy."

"Fascinating!" Blaineley lied again. "Head on down to the peanut gallery with your friends so I can introduce the last few losers. Up next is the immensely popular Florida, and the very first person to oppose Team Touchdown! Come on up!"

Florida walked on stage, wearing jeans and a comfortable-looking jacket. "Hey," she merely said.

"You sparked absolute rage from a few of the fans from the South when you mentioned your opposition towards your team, and congratulations from everyone else. Here's a clip."

"Oh boy."

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_2_mp3**

_"What was that, Florida?"_

_..._

_"I said I doubt it. Do you even have your driver's license yet? And for that matter, your boater's license? These things aren't toys, or race cars, no matter what you think."_

_..._

_"Heheheh... Florida? I don't think you really know what you're talkin' 'bout. Why don't you go sit down with the other girls?"_

Florida seemed unimpressed by Blaineley's tactic to get her stirred up. "Is that it?" she asked dully.

"Well, fans were really curious to hear your side, especially after you got voted off in the eleventh episode!"

"My side? Well, Alabama and Texas are two over-controlling, hillbilly-sounding dudes in a team full of seven girls. And Arkansas."

"Oooh!" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together ecstatically. "Funny you should mention Arkansas. Rumors have been spreading... that you may have a _thing_ for him."

The audience gasped, and held their breath. Florida crossed her arms, annoyed, and spoke. "Arkansas is the most tolerable guy on that team," she merely stated. "I wasn't impressed with the tiny amount of camera time he got. It seemed like for the entire show so far, all the cameras were pointed right at those two rednecks and the girlfriend. I'd spoken to a few of the other girls on Team Touchdown, and they felt the same way."

Gasps filled the rooms. "Draaamaaa!" Blaineley gasped. "Florida, we can continue this once we've finished introducing everyone else! For now, let's bring out a current fan favorite: Minnesota!"

Minnesota, wearing an elegant light blue dress, walked on stage, grinning at Blaineley, who gave her a sympathetic pat on the arm. "You had quite the elimination ceremony, Minnesota!" Blaineley started off. "Not only did you garner enough of your team's support to actually almost succeed in voting North Dakota off, but in a shocking turn of events, it ended up that North Dakota set you up all along! How've you fared since such a dramatic episode?"

"Well," Minnesota began, looking thoughtfully into the audience. "I've only been home for about a week so far, but it's a nice change of pace. I'm just really hoping Nebraska can finish what I started. We were so close at taking her out, too."

"Indeed," Blaineley agreed, nodding her head solemnly. "It was definitely an episode to remember. We'll talk more about it later. Take your seat, Minnesota, because here comes South Carolina! Come on out!"

South Carolina walked on stage, smiling brightly and wearing an attractive dress. "So, South Carolina," Blaineley began seriously. "How did you feel when you discovered Texas, Alabama, and Mississippi all voted for you to avoid getting voted off themselves?"

"That's what happened?" South Carolina said bluntly, blinking. "I... wait, really?"

Blaineley, hungry for an outburst, loudly said into her microphone, "Yes! People did not just randomly vote for you, South Carolina. It was an act of treachery, indeed. In fact, that episode is airing tonight, people! Catch it tonight at 8 PM EST, or 7 PM CST on CampTV! Spoilers are ahead in this show for the two episodes to follow."

South Carolina awkwardly joined the other dozen contestants in the peanut gallery after Blaineley waved her away. "Lastly," Blaineley declared into her microphone, "we have Idaho, who was voted off just last Wednesday! Say hi, Idaho!"

The big guy came on stage, wearing a handsome tuxedo and a small smile. "Good evening. It's a pleasure to be here," he stammered into the microphone.

"So. Idaho. Just _how_ does it feel to have been voted off for something that wasn't even your fault? I suppose you're feeling quite the animosity towards Miss Dakota!"

"Um... yeah, kinda. It could've been anyone from our team... I just hope they all don't hate me. I never really made any friends."

The audience went "Awww" right on cue. Blaineley patted him on the head, feigning sympathy, and pointed towards the thirteen other losers at the benches. "Take a seat, Idaho, so we can begin with tonight's Aftermath!" she said. Blaineley then faced the audience with a wide, wide smile. "The thirty-six real contestants have been given a free day today!" she shouted. "But what they _don't_ know... is that someone is being voted off tonight. And these fourteen losers are going to pick which team's going to the voting ceremony. Sound like fun?"

The fourteen losers so far looked impressed, and cheered. Blaineley smiled evilly. "But before we can get into all that," she announced, "we've got to begin the recap. From the very beginning, this season seems to be completely full of drama. In the first few episodes, we got to meet our fifty contestants and see a glimpse of the incredible journey they were about to make. In fact, if Chris - er, I mean, if _I_ stay on schedule, we should be done by Christmas!"

The audience applauded for no very clear reason. Blaineley bowed, and smiled widely at the cameras. "But enough of that. Fans have been absolutely _clamoring_ over a montage of West Virginia moments. So, without further ado: let the clip roll!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_3_mp3**

_"I'm West Virginia! And you... must be Virginia!"_

_He had immediately turned on the girl beside him, who stepped back instinctively. "Uh," she said slowly. "Do I know you?"_

_West Virginia shook his head quickly. "Oh, no! No. I looked you up online, though, right when I found out you were gonna be my partner! I didn't know you lived in Richmond! HEH! I've been there before!"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_4_mp3**

_West Virginia revolved on the spot to face Virginia with an off-putting smile. "Oh, right here!" he exclaimed, and unveiled the bristled utensil from somewhere in the depths of his pants. "I just wanted to make sure it was safe while you were asleep, since we're partners and all. HEH! Here you go!"_

_Virginia stepped back from West Virginia, and stared at the toothbrush uncomfortably. "Uhhh..." she slowly began, clearly unnerved. "Okay... West Virginia? You need to cool it, string bean."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_5_mp3**

_"West Virginia!" Virginia yelled one morning. "Little man. Stop it. You don't need to disinfect my bed."_

_The red headed kid looked up, evidently surprised. "Oh! Hi, Virginia! Good morning! Don't worry, this is non-toxic disinfectant! For you, anyways. HEH!"_

_Virginia glared at him. "I'mma count to five, and you'd better be outta this room or I swear I'll kick you right off this bus."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_6_mp3**

_"Oh, my - WEST VIRGINIA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING."_

_"Oh! HEH! Um... I... was just passing by! Don't worry-"_

_"No... no. You're coming with me."_

_"HEH! Sounds like fun! Where - ow, ow. Don't - ow - You don't have to drag by by the ea - OW"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_7_mp3**

_West Virginia glanced around. "Where's mine?"_

_"Yours is in the loser wagon!" Chris shouted, pointing at a waiting taxi. "You got four votes, dude. Beat it." West Virginia's eyes began to water up. "But what did I do?" he cried, waving his arms around as he stood. "I - I tried so hard - I just can't have been the first person voted off this team - who voted for me?"_

_Chris glanced around. "You want me to tell you?"_

_"Y - yes..."_

_Chris looked at his notepad as a few of the contestants sitting on the pavement's eyes grew wide with terror. "Uhhh, I guess I can bend the rules for this. Illinois, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Virginia voted-"_

_"Virginia?" West Virginia asked incredulously, apparently fighting back the tears still. "I... why? I tried s - so hard - to be nice, and... and you voted for me?"_

The clip shut off after that. West Virginia was looking particularly bashful at the moment. "So, West Virginia," Blaineley began, turning to the boy. "You garnered a _lot_ of attention for yourself for the few episodes that you were on the show! What happened, sweetheart?"_  
><em>

"Um..." West Virginia stammered, looking at his thumbs. "Well... I guess I... came on too... strong? Maybe... Virginia somehow thought I was annoying or something, _HEH!_ I'm not sure how, though."

"It's a mystery!" Blaineley loudly spoke into the microphone. "One we may never solve. It's a shame, though! I was secretly rooting for you. You're just so cute!"

She then pinched his cheeks, as he attempted to twist away from her. Blaineley bared her teeth, and slowly said, "So. _Cute._"

"Um, yeah, well," West Virginia said, ducking away from Blaineley. "My, uh, heart's with Virginia! _HEH!_ Can we... um... switch to the next person?"

"Of _course!_" Blaineley screamed, and sent West Virginia back to the benches. "In fact, I was _really_ wanting to talk more with Minnesota and her struggles with North Dakota! Come on up, Minnesota."

Minnesota obliged, standing up from the bench, and approaching Blaineley. "Well... it's a long story, Blaineley," Minnesota slowly admitted. "One that begins from the very first few episodes."

"Oooh!" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together. "The cameras never showed it, then! Do go on."

"Well... it was right around episode six," Minnesota began, looking thoughtful. "The camping episode. North Dakota made us lose by her absolutely terrible leadership. So... I voted for her. I was the only person who voted for her, apart from the guy who got kicked off that night. North Dakota... flew into an outrage, and vowed to find whoever did it. For my safety, it wasn't until episode ten that I revealed myself. By that time, I had gotten Nebraska on my side."

"You mentioned Nebraska earlier!" Blaineley commented. "So you really think he might be able to carry out what you started? Rebellion, and whatnot?"

"Well... _maybe_," Minnesota said with a sigh. "We were so close the night I got voted off. But North Dakota cheated! She-"

"Oh, yes!" Blaineley squealed. "What a _smashing_ voting ceremony that was. In fact, we've got the clip right here!"

Minnesota went white as a ghost. "Um, no, that won't be necessary," she stammered, "It was kind of embarrassing, and-"

"Roll it!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_8_mp3**

_"Minnesota? Why exactly do you have a phone in your pocket?"_

_North Dakota smirked, and crossed her arms, intrigued. "Yeah, Minnesota!" she said with exaggerated shock. "Don't you know you're not supposed to have phones on this show?"_

_"I - what - how did this even get here - this isn't mine!"_

_Chris took the phone out of Minnesota's hand. On the small screen, a timer blinked 0:00, with the caption "L8R, LOSER." He showed Minnesota the phone. "This isn't your phone?"_

_"Well - I mean, it is - but I gave it back, I swear - wait-"_

_"Sorry, Minnesota!" Chris said, glancing at his watch once again. "You are disqualified! Head to the cab of losers right over there-"_

_"THAT BITCH!"_

Minnesota was covering her face with her hands briefly. Once the clip was over, she revealed her face, which was looking more than a little embarrassed. Blaineley was feigning being stunned. "What an outburst!" Blaineley cried to the audience. "You were _very_ upset!"

"Well... yeah," Minnesota mumbled, looking at the floor. "I... don't really want to talk about it. What's done is done, and I have a feeling that North Dakota will get what she deserves in the end."

"So noble!" Blaineley gasped. "Well, I think that's all the time we have for you. We need to get on with the most important section of the Aftermath: the debate section! Here's how this will work."

"Each of the fourteen losers so far have already divided up into five teams, based on who they're supporting. We will then launch into a debate, which basically means everyone will be arguing with each other for fifteen minutes. Sound like fun?"

The losers cheered from the peanut gallery. Blaineley then pointed at five podiums at the front of the stage, and yelled, "Send out your best person for each team, and we can get this _staaarted!_"

For Team America, South Carolina stepped up to the plate. Montana was representing Team Dakota, Florida for Team Victory, Rhode Island for Team Democracy, and Missouri for Team Touchdown. "Missouri, you get to start with the opening statements!" Blaineley decided.

"Right. Well. Hi, y'all. My name's, uh, not Missouri, but I'll just keep goin' 'long with it for now. Um, the reason I still support my team is because... um... they're a bunch of good folk, and there ain't anybody bad on that team, far as I know-"

"I'd like to make a counter to that statement," Florida suddenly said, raising her hand for Team Victory. Blaineley shrugged, and permitted it. "Team Touchdown," Florida began, "is the most self-centered band of illiterates that I've ever had the misfortune to be teamed up with. Not only did they vote me off for disagreeing with them once, but they have racist and homophobic tendencies as well."

"Oh!" Blaineley yelped, looking at the cameras. "Well, I'm going to have to stop you there, Florida, because we need to stay politically correct on this show. Um... Rhode Island, how about you say a word in Team Democracy's favor?"

Rhode Island went a little pale at that, but spoke regardless. "Um... she mumbled quietly into her microphone. "Well, I support Team Democracy, because for the time that I was on the team, it was generally pretty nice... Maine and Pennsylvania were pretty nice to me on the show, and so was Massachusetts, and Connecticut, I guess. I just don't think they're really worthy of getting picked for the voting ceremony. I think Team Dakota would be better suited for that."

"Oooh!" Blaineley interjected suddenly. "Montana, care to make a rebuttal?"

"My pleasure," Montana stated, looking grim. "Friends, North Dakota is the most powerful contestant on the show so far. In the event that Team Dakota was to go to the chopping block tonight, we all know that North Dakota would _not_ be voted off. And I support her. So far, she's the only character _on_ this show with any backbone, and a determination to do what's best for her team-"

"Objection!" South Carolina suddenly yelled. Blaineley pointed at her, and let South Carolina speak. "You say that she does what's best for her team," South Carolina slowly said. "But I've watched a few episodes since I was voted off a week or two ago, and in the, uh, Mall of America challenge, she almost loses the game because she was buying things selfishly. That's not teamwork. That's a dictatorship."

"Well, maybe a dictatorship is what's effective!" Montana snapped back. "Right now, I'm trying to figure out why you're supporting Team America, or why anyone would, for that matter. That team's stupidity almost matches Team Touchdown's. Either everyone's busy worrying about themselves because there's no leader on that team, or they're listening to Michigan and Ohio bicker all the time. That team needs to go."

There was a brief pause. And then Rhode Island slowly nodded her head. "I... kinda agree," she slowly said, looking at the floor. "That team has too much arguing in it. If that keeps up... there's no way that team can last past the merge. I think Team America should go down."

"Now, hold on a minute!" West Virginia interjected, panicked, when Blaineley held a finger at the kid. "Tut, tut, West Virginia!" she scolded. "You're not up on the podium."

"No! We need Team America!" South Carolina insisted, nearly knocking her podium over in her frenzy. "My _sister's_ on that team, and I am rooting for _her!_"

Missouri, after a long period in which she pondered the dilemma, ended up agreeing with Montana. "Yeah..." she slowly stated, "Apart from Team Dakota, Team 'merica is real argumentative. Nobody's friends in that team, if you hadn't noticed-"

"North Carolina and Indiana are friends!" South Carolina whined, rocking back and forth on her feet. "They get along! And... and Ohio and Virginia!"

"...that's it?" Florida slowly said in disbelief. "Okay, wow, you can only think of four people max who are friends. I don't support my old team, Touchdown, in any way, but at least most people on that team were friends. But to have a team like America where nobody likes each other is crazy."

"But... wait," Rhode Island interjected. "I think we're forgetting who the real enemy is here. North Dakota. She's obviously the craziest person on the show. I think it's important that we don't forget about her."

"_Yes!_" South Dakota screamed, pointing at Rhode Island. "_Thank you_, Rhode Island! She's right. North Dakota is a menace to her team and to the entire show."

"At least she's not spineless like Team America!" Montana countered. "Which is why _Team America_ needs to fall."

Blaineley jumped up, and announced, "It seems we've come to a division of two possible team to vote off tonight! Team Dakota and Team America. For those of you voting for Team Dakota, raise your hands!"

Rhode Island and Montana both raised their hands. Florida looked indecisive, while Montana glared at them.

"For those of you voting for Team _America_, raise _your_ hands!"

Montana and Missouri raised their hands. After a long pause, Florida finally consented, raising her hand.

"Then we have come to a conclusion! Team America is going to the voting ceremony tonight, and you get to watch it here live!" Blaineley declared, pointing at the huge television screen. "As of now, the eight members of Team America are being notified of their loss. Let's switch to the bus camera!"

**6:34 PM.**

Five buses sat in the parking lot of a huge theater, though outside the theater, there was little commotion. Inside Team America's bus, the eight occupants listened at the tiny radio in the bus's front cabin.

"_Then we have come to a conclusion! Team America is going to the voting ceremony tonight, and you get to watch it here live! As of now, the eight members of Team America are being notified of their loss. Let's switch to the bus camera!_"

Virginia groaned, and rubbed her forehead. "Can't they give us a _break?_" she muttered. "This team has been through _enough_ as it is. They need to just... leave us alone, I guess."

"Yeah..." Michigan mumbled, looking down at the floor. Ohio eyed him cautiously.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_62_mp3**

"Okay. I am _positive_ that Michigan is plotting against me. I'm sure of it. But I can't let him get me down, oh, no. I've got friends on this team, and I think they'll be glad to help me out here. Let's see... Virginia's a big ally. I could convince Indiana and North Carolina to help me out here. I'll promise them immunity later on or something. And... okay, look, guys. I'm not the bad guy here. It's just... _Michigan is the bad guy!_ Isn't it _obvious?_ I mean, the entire way he's acted is detrimental to our team. I mean... nobody else has really commented on it other than me, but... I don't know. I just don't _like_ him. I don't know why."

Ohio

**6:57 PM.**

Eight teenagers sat in the middle of a parking lot in a semi circle, as Blaineley shuffled her way towards them in her elaborate red dress. "Hiii!" she squealed. "Isn't it great to _be here?_"

"I can think of a _few_ places I'd rather be than at a voting ceremony," Indiana remarked. Blaineley glared at her, but proceeded nonetheless. "Well, are the votes in?" she asked, when an intern handed her a large wooden box. "Oh, good. Now. Since Chris is... _gone_, the producers have decided that those terrible old snacks you guys used to get weren't up to Total Drama standards! And also, we got a few copyright violations by displaying the brand names on international television. So... we're using marshmallows again! Just like old times!"

She produced a bag filled with seven marshmallows, and grinned maliciously at the contestants. "How exciting!" she squealed again.

Nobody said anything. There were nervous glances between Michigan and Ohio; a few of the team members seemed to have figured out what was going to happen tonight.

"Okay, I guess you guys aren't that into being cheered up as I am. That's fine! I'll start with the marshmallow-giving. Illinois! You got zero votes, and one marshmallow. Here you go!"

The fluffy, squishy snack was thrown right at his forehead, and bounced off onto the ground. He did not seem to react much to it.

"Indiana! Zero votes. You are just _so cute._"

Indiana scowled at the new host. "And you are just _so_ making me wish Chris was back, and that's saying something," she retorted. Blaineley looked mildly offended, but carried on regardless. "Maryland! No votes, dear."

Maryland caught her marshmallow gratefully. Blaineley smiled sweetly. "Last two. North Carolina and Virginia. No votes for either of you!"

Marshmallows were thrown. There were only three contestants remaining now: Ohio, Kentucky, and Michigan. Blaineley attempted looking seriously at them, as the cameras zoomed in to see the reactions on the three contestants' faces. "You three all got at least one vote!" she declared, waving her arm "dramatically" at the three. "The penultimate marshmallow goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Kentucky! One vote!"

Kentucky caught the marshmallow gratefully, as at least a thousand fans gasped around the world. It was happening. The showdown between Ohio and Michigan. This moment had been predicted in fan fiction long before now. Blaineley looked smugly at the team's reaction to this startling revelation. "One of you got three votes!" she announced. "And the other... got four. It seems, Ohio and Michigan, that a few of your fellow teammates have come to your aid. But which ones? And how many? Well... the final marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"...Ohio!"

"_Yes!_" Ohio yelled out loud, letting the marshmallow fall to the pavement behind him. "Ohhh, _yes!_ Haha!"

Michigan just had his eyes closed. Blaineley attempted looking sympathetic, and pointed towards the bus. "Your stuff's in there, Michigan!" she told him. "Best get to it. Any final words?"

Michigan thought for a moment. And then he spoke.

"I'm not particularly sure why I'm being voted off tonight. That's not because I don't care. I do. But this team is going down."

There was a dead silence as he looked intently at his seven ex-teammates.

"I don't say that because I dislike this team or anything. I believe we could've had something a lot better than whatever it is now. But this team isn't going to even make it to the merge like this. I really wish I could've stayed on to help us. To push us a little further. But, obviously, that's not going to happen."

He sighed, and was about to retreat into the bus, before he added one more comment. "One more thing," he said slowly.

"_Don't trust Ohio._"

Those three words resonated into the early Toronto evening. A few people looked worried. North Carolina was looking like she regretted her decision. A few moments later, Michigan appeared from the bus, with his rather large duffel bag in tote. "Well, looks like I'm off," he said, looking towards the taxi in the distance. "A handshake, Ohio?"

Michigan extended a hand towards Ohio, who still sat on the pavement below. There was a pause. Ohio didn't accept.

"Right..." Michigan muttered, and headed towards the cab. "Bye for now."

As Michigan walked off into the distance, Blaineley looked visibly disappointed. "Oh, poo," she mumbled. "I was hoping there'd be a lot more screaming than that. Well, no matter, because there's plenty more drama in store for whatever show this is. I'm Blaineley! Check back on CampTV Wednesdays and weekends at 8/7 central for the good stuff!"

**END OF INTERMISSION 1**

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, and Michigan.

**aspiringAnimator** - And that was the Aftermath! Second-longest chapter yet, to boot. I'd been looking forward to this episode for a while now. I should say something first, though. Michigan was always planned to be voted off this episode. In the first draft, when I was planning all this out in late June, it was supposed to be really random, because he didn't know anybody and didn't dislike Ohio. But this sort of sub-plot involving him and Ohio kind of got bigger than I was expecting! So I'm expanding onto Ohio's character a _lot_ in Act 2. A lot of things are going to happen next Act! I'm pretty excited. And don't worry, Michigan shows up in the next Aftermath chapter.

Favorite, follow, review, _whatever_ makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy! And a happy aspiringAnimator means more chapters on schedule, which I have successfully stuck to for a month and a half now. To be honest, I thought I wouldn't make it past episode nine! But I'm glad I have.


	17. The United States of Blaineley

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**BEGINNING OF ACT 2**

**EPISODE 16: THE UNITED STATES OF BLAINELEY**

_"_YOU?" - Oregon__

**Wednesday, August 27th, 2014. Grand Rapids, Michigan. 7:58 AM.**

There were now thirty-five contestants left on the show. Fifteen had already been voted off. By now, it was late August. Most of the contestants were supposed to be in school by now, but obviously were too busy being on national television for petty things like high school.

"Alright, guys!" Ohio yelled to his bus, clapping his hands. It was early in the morning for most people. North Carolina, who was making cereal, glanced over at Ohio with an annoyed expression.

"It's challenge day, guys. Today is our day to get our heads in the game. From here on out, we _win!_"

There were only a few people in the living quarters of the bus. Most other people were in their bunk beds still. When he realized his grand speech wasn't making any waves, Ohio began to scowl.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_63_mp3**

"Okay. Now that Michigan is gone, everything should be good now. I mean... I _won_. He's out of the game. So, if everything's smooth sailing from here on out... then why am I having such a hard time leading my own team? There's no more arguing. No more... Michigan telling me what to do. So why isn't anybody _listening_ to me?"_  
><em>

Ohio

**9:26 AM.**

Most of Team Democracy's bus's occupants had gradually woken up as the day went on. By nine o'clock, Massachusetts, New York, Connecticut and Maine were all squeezed on the couch watching the news.

"Wow..." Maine murmured, watching the broadcast. "I can't believe we're on national television."

The news of Chris's arrest had finally broken into the media. News stories were aflutter about his "dramatic standoff" with the local South Carolina police department, and Blaineley. In fact, The Fifty State Roadtrip had become one of the most talked about shows since Breaking Bad.

"Hey! That's me!" New York yelled, pointing at the television, which depicted a photograph of Team Democracy making sand castles. New York was standing with his mouth open, eyes glaring, and pointing angrily at Connecticut and Massachusetts. Massachusetts laughed at the image. "Wow. Man, now I _really_ want to get on the internet. I wanna know what people back home are saying about me."

"Hey... where _are_ you from, Massachusetts?" Connecticut suddenly asked. Massachusetts appeared confused.

"Uh. I'm from Massachusetts. That should've been obvio-"

"No, no, I mean... what city?"

"Oh. I never said? I'm from Boston."

"Cool," Connecticut murmured, looking off into the distance. "I've been to Boston a few times before. Many times, actually. I usually go there for Christmas-"

New Jersey suddenly walked into the room, glancing around. Apart from the four teens on the couch, Delaware and Pennsylvania were sitting at the tiny kitchen table, eating omelettes.

"Hey, Delaware," New Jersey smoothly said, pulling up a chair and giving a wink. "Are those scrambled eggs? You're a really good cook, you know that?"

Delaware slowly inched her head away from New Jersey, and muttered, "Um... no, Massachusetts made these... and they're omelettes..."

"Yeah, yeah, sure," New Jersey said, not paying any attention whatsoever to what she just said. "So, I couldn't help but notice... you've just got the most _beautiful__ eyes_..."

Delaware then began looking towards New York and Massachusetts on the couch, eyes pleading for help. New York jumped up, and quickly said, "Hey, New Jersey, I need your help in the bathroom. The window's jammed, and I need someone, uh... strong? To help me... fix it."

After a few seconds of no response, it was obvious that New Jersey hadn't heard New York at all. "Delaware..." New Jersey crooned, "your skin is just... so soft, and chocolaty... the - the color, I mean, not literal chocolate-"

"Okay, big guy, enough of that," New York quickly interrupted, and pulled New Jersey towards the back of the bus. "We've got a window to unjam."

"Wait, hold on, New York, I was just-"

"Nooo, you weren't. This way."

New York hastily dragged New Jersey towards his bunkroom, and shut the door. New Jersey was livid. "What the hell, dude?" he yelled, waving his arms around. "I was _moments_ away from gettin' Delaware to be into me." New York sighed, and rubbed his head, looking out the small, vibrating window of the bus. "No, you weren't," he interjected. "Delaware was uncomfortable. Everyone could tell. And... that's not really how you court someone. You're supposed to be-"

"Court her? I wasn't tryin' to _sue_ her or nothin'-"

"I - what? Not _that_ type of court - look, bud, the way you're hitting on pretty much _all of the girls on this team_ is embarrassing. I don't mean to be rude, but... if you want someone to like you, it's best not to be so forward about it."_  
><em>

New Jersey groaned, and rested his head against the wall, looking a little depressed. "So... what am I supposed to do?" he mumbled, looking blearily at New York. "Man, the 'way I hit on girls', or however you put it - that stuff just _worked_ on the girls back home. They ate _up_ that sh-"

"Well, these girls are different," New York affirmed, looking sternly at New Jersey. "It's smart of you to try and get fan support by demonstrating attraction towards 'em, but the way you do it just isn't effective. Also, by the way, stop hitting on Pennsylvania."

"Huh? Awww, man, dude, why? She's got this big bushy hair and she just looks so cu-"

"Because I said so. I'm sorry, bro. Just... lay off 'em for a while, alright? This has been going on for a long time."

New Jersey looked disappointed. "Yeah... yeah, okay, man... fine."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_64_mp3**

"Man, I don't even know what _happened_. What went wrong? Back home, I had girls all _over _me, yo. And now that I'm famous, I'll have even more! So why isn't Delaware diggin' it? This show doesn't make any sense."

New Jersey

**10:40 AM.**

The small city of Grand Rapids rose all around them. A bright August sun shone down over all of Michigan. The Wolverine State. Or, the Great Lakes State, but we're going with The Wolverine State because it sounds way cooler.

The five buses were parked on the edge of Veterans' Memorial Park in the heart of the city. A wide perimeter of metal barriers were up around the park; it seemed a few dozen fans had accumulated, cheering as the contestants climbed out.

"Wow..." California gasped, as she stepped out of Team Victory's bus. "It's almost like we're famous!"

A few pointed stares were directed her way, but most people seemed too occupied by the fans to pay her much attention. Before long, Blaineley appeared from Chris's limousine, waving the kids along.

"Yes, yes, you're all adored in the eyes of a million teenage girls. Fame is really quite exciting. Move it along! We've got challenges to do!"

The thirty-five contestants were all shuffled towards the center of the park, where a camera crew was set up. Blaineley smiled brightly, directing the kids to bunch up in the center.

"Um, excuse me..." Washington slowly said, "but what exactly is today's challenge?"

"Ohhh, I don't know," Blaineley said loudly, shrugging as she did so. "I thought we'd... just wing it today! It'll be fun!"

This was the first sign that things would be going downhill with this host. There were many more signs to come.

"Okay!" Blaineley announced, looking around at everyone. "Let's think of what we could do as a challenge... hmm."

A few moments went by, in which Blaineley simply stood there and tapped her cheek thoughtfully. "Oooh!" she squealed after some time. "I know! Okay... I'm gonna need all the teams but Team Touchdown to go back into the buses! We'll do these one at a time. It'll be _exciting!_"

Everyone hesitated for a few moments, and then receded back towards the bus, all except for the seven members of Team Touchdown. Blaineley beamed at them all, and as soon as everyone else was out of earshot, she declared, "You seven are going to... oh, I don't know... run around in a circle! That sounds like fun! Yes!"

...

Texas was about to protest, when Alabama nudged him slightly, and whispered, "Easy win, dude. Just roll with it."

"Yaaay!" Blaineley cheered, and pointed at the fountain in the center of the park. "Run around that a bunch of times! The fans will _love_ it."

The members of Team Touchdown did as they were told, sprinting around the fountain about a dozen times to please Blaineley. She squealed. She clapped her hands a lot, and jumped up and down. She did this all with the guarantee that the cameras were focused on her at all times, of course.

Finally, she snapped her fingers, and yelled, "Okay, that's enough, Team Touchdown! Go back to your bus."

**11:03 AM.**

"Bring out Team Victory!"

The few contestants that were left of that team trudged up to Blaineley. She frowned, and counted briefly. "There's only six of you?" she asked, dumbfounded. Before her, stood Hawaii, Oregon, California, Washington, Arizona, and New Mexico. The last two were holding hands. Blaineley then beamed at them all, and waved her hand like it didn't matter. "Ignore me," she said. "Your team's challenge... is... ummm..."

...

"I... guess... try to make me laugh! Oh, that'll be fun."

The contestants glanced at each other, slightly worried. "Uh... does anybody have any good jokes?" Washington asked slowly, looking around at his team with pleading eyes.

"I've got one," Hawaii sighed, and stepped up, approaching Blaineley. "What do priests and McDonald's have in common?"

...

"They both like to stick their meats in ten-year-old buns."

New Mexico burst into laughter, as did Oregon. A chuckle was even solicited from Arizona. However... Blaineley didn't seem too impressed. "Pedophilia and health violations _aren't_ a laughing matter, Hawaii," she scolded him. "Send someone up with a better joke."

Washington looked around at his teammates, and whispered, "Um... does anybody have any jokes that... Blaineley might like?"

New Mexico looked down at his girlfriend pleadingly, who shrugged. Suddenly, California stepped up. "I've got one," she stammered. "My daddy tells this one sometimes. Men go shopping to buy what they want, but women go shopping to find out what they want."

California let that sink in. It took about two exact seconds for the meaning of the joke to hit Blaineley. She giggled hysterically, and clapped her hands together, laughing wildly. "Okay, okay, that's a good one," she admitted, still shaking slightly with laughter. "You kids go on back and tell everyone to come outside. I'm ready for lunch."

**11:32 AM.**

"Whoa..." Texas muttered, looking at a delivery truck in the middle of the park labeled "Kelly's Catering, Grand Rapids, MI". Blaineley was speaking feverishly to the driver of the van, and waving her hands around a bunch. She suddenly noticed the contestants all standing there, and whipped around, smiling widely.

"Is that food for us?" Kentucky shouted, pointing at the tables of food. Blaineley looked confused. "The food? Ohhh, no, kids. No, no, no. This is for the interns and camera crew. Did you guys _seriously_ think we'd waste CampTV funds on you guys?"

There was a long, long silence. After there was no response, Blaineley put on a scowl, and turned towards the food.

There were no cameras pointed her way. She no longer needed to smile.

This was the second sign that things would be going downhill with this host.

"I like Chris a lot better..." Oregon whispered to Washington. "He was sadistic, and mean, but... always, you know... optimistic about it!"

"Kind of like yourself," Washington muttered back, and then hastily added, "Um, the optimistic part, not the creepy sadism part."

Oregon giggled, and covered his mouth when Blaineley turned her head to glance over at the contestants. "It's hot out here!" she snapped, and then pointed at Colorado and Kansas. "You two. Fan me."

"Uhhh... what?"

"Fan. Me."

It seemed Colorado and Kansas were rather used to orders from a higher authority, because the two of them immediately grabbed a few towels from the table and began fanning Blaineley as she ate a small salad. Everybody else was looking sadly at all the food, which the camera crew eagerly dug into. Blaineley grimaced at the contestants, and snarled, "What are you kids staring at? And fan faster, whatever your names are. We've got a ten minute lunch break, and my producer's on my ass again - _hey!_ Hands off the camera equipment, grubby."

One of the lower-ranking interns was attempting to inspect a camera, but set it right back on the fold-up table once Blaineley yelled at him. Blaineley, now satisfied, snapped, "One of you kids. Get a napkin and wipe my mouth. My makeup crew isn't here. Chop-chop."

After nobody immediately offered themselves up, Blaineley scowled further, and instead pointed a finger at Indiana. "You. Wipe my mouth."

"Ew. While I'd love to smear Bar-B-Que sauce all over your surely beautiful face, I think I'll pass."

"_What_ did you say to me?"

Blaineley stood up and faced Indiana within a blink of the eye. "Watch your tongue," she snarled at the sixteen-year-old. "This is _my_ show now, and I'll be damned before I let some kid tell me what to do."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and simply said, "Yeah. Impressive. I am literally peeing my pants right now in fear. I think I'm going back to the bus."

With that, Indiana simply turned around and walked back towards Team America's bus. Blaineley looked livid, and was likely about to grab Indiana's neck, when a fed camera-man yelled, "We're rolling, in five... four... three... two..."

Blaineley's outraged expression instantly morphed into a cheerful smile. "Welcome back from the break!" she announced to the camera with a painfully-wide grin. "Up next in these incredibly difficult challenges is Team America. Can they withstand the pressure? Let's find out!"

She then angrily mouthed to the contestants, "_Send everyone but Team America back to the buses!_" Everyone promptly hightailed it out of there except for Team America. "Where's the kid?" Blaineley yelled, looking towards the buses. "The sarcastic girl. From Team America. We need everyone."

Minutes later, Indiana was forced back outside. "What a pleasant surprise," she deadpanned at Blaineley.

"Okay, Team America," Blaineley said thoughtfully. "Let's have you seven... hmm... do some jumping jacks. Do five."

Exasperated glances were exchanged between the members, but everyone consented, doing the jumping jacks like this was some sort of bizarre fitness class in the park. Blaineley grinned smugly. "Okay!" she announced. "Now... bow!"

Everyone but Kentucky took a bow. "Um. Sweetheart?" Blaineley said, staring at him pointedly. "I'm gonna need you to bow for me, honey. It's part of the challenge."

"But I don't want to," Kentucky stated flatly, looking confusedly. Ohio glanced up at Kentucky, and tugged his arm. "Do it, dude," he whispered hurriedly. "It's just a bow. It's not the end of the world."

Indiana had also refused to bow. "This is stupid," she stated outright. "What was the real challenge? I'd love to have known what was really scheduled for the state of Michigan."

"That's none of your business!" Blaineley screamed. Her temper was clearly going through the roof. "Team America, _go back to your bus!_ I have _had_ it with just about _everyone_ today! Gary... Gary, make sure to cut out that footage from just now. The footage of me. My... my hair was messed up. Bring out Team Democracy."

**11:45 AM.**

Team Democracy, the only team still holding on to eight total members, nervously approached Blaineley from their bus. It seemed everyone had been watching her outbursts closely. "Um... we're here," Delaware stammered, approaching Blaineley.

"Huh? Oh. Your challenge..." Blaineley murmured, looking up. It seemed she had just been occupied by her phone. "Your challenge... let's... have... you kids... go... buy me a soda. From the store. That's your challenge."

New York was confused. "Um. Miss, are you sure that's the-"

"Yes, I'm positive. Get me a root beer. A&W. None of that Barq's crap."

"Uhhh..."

"What are you standing there for?" Blaineley snapped, looking up once more from her Twitter account. "Get a move on! We don't have all day, and the caterers didn't bring drinks."

"Come on, guys..." Massachusetts mumbled, leading everyone into the city. The fans outside the barriers had begun to dwindle, but nearly tried to run Team Democracy over as they exited into the streets of Grand Rapids. The police were forced to intervene, making a small path the eight could walk through to get to the store.

The store was a tiny little corner shop downtown. An Indian man greeted them with a small wave, evidently eager such a huge amount of teens were entering his store. "Let's see... what exactly did Blaineley ask for, again?" Maine asked, looking at the long aisles. "She wanted root beer?"

New Jersey shrugged, shuffling slightly closer to Maine as he did so. "I guess. Hey... yo, Delaware, you want me to treat you to somethin'?"

"No, thanks. I'm good."

"It'll be _real_ fancy, like one of them glass bottles of Coke-"

"I said I'm _good_, New Jersey. Really."

New Jersey frowned, as Massachusetts carried a can of Barq's root beer to the counter, and pulled a dollar out of his wallet. "Receipt, please," he muttered, as the man made the purchase. Connecticut looked longingly over the long aisles, and mumbled, "Man... I wish I'd brought my money."

"Thank you!" Massachusetts said to the man as he put the soda into the bag. "Alright, guys, let's go! I guess all Blaineley wanted was a root beer. This challenge was easy."

**12:07 PM.**

"This is _BARQ'S ROOT BEER._"

Blaineley was screaming at Massachusetts full in the face, who had moments earlier come cheerily offering her the beverage. Team Democracy all stood on the sidelines, looking utterly pitiful.

"I _SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR A&W._ Do you _not_ know how to follow _simple instructions?_ Jesus! Go back to your bus, Team Democracy, and bring out Team Dakota so we can finally go. Ugh. You weren't filming just now, were you, Gary?"

"Nada."

"Good."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_65_mp3**

"It's _root beer!_ It all looks the same! How was I supposed to know what brand she wanted? Ugh, I feel terrible about it. I tried offering her to go back and pay for a different one, with my own money again, but she just sort of scoffed at me and poured the soda out on my shoes."

Massachusetts

**12:11 PM.**

"Alright, so great for you to be here, challenge day, yadda-yadda-yadda," Blaineley greeted Team Dakota dully as the seven approached. "I assume you kids want a challenge or something, right? Okaaay... challenge, challenge, challenge... hm."

North Dakota stood patiently, standing in front of her team, waiting for Blaineley's word. Blaineley snapped her fingers, and muttered, "Okay, how about this. What's nine plus seven?"

...

"Uh. Sixteen?"

"Good. You can go."

South Dakota gaped at Blaineley. "That's it?" she asked. "Just... just a simple math problem? _Anybody_ can do that! Why, I-"

"Not now," North Dakota whispered harshly into her sister's ear. "Just move on and be glad she didn't give us something hard."

**12:15 PM**

"Alright, everybody! Challenges are over. Let's tally up the results."

The thirty-five contestants all approached Blaineley cautiously, as a high noon sun beamed down upon the city. Blaineley appeared thoughtful for a moment.

"Hmm. Let's say... Team Touchdown, Team Victory, and Team Dakota are all safe. They did what I asked. Out of Team Democracy and Team America, I choose..."

...

...

...

"I guess Team America can go to voting tonight."

The seven members of Team America all groaned. "That takes us down to six people!" Ohio complained. "That's basically _Team Victory_ status!"

"Hey!" New Mexico protested. "We're not doing _that_ badly."

"You're right, you're not!" Blaineley agreed. "Which is why the six of you _aren't_ going to the chopping block tonight. Team America? I'll see _all_ of you guys tonight."

Blaineley cast Indiana a rather wicked grin, and flounced off. "Back into the buses, everyone!" she declared. "It's time for _voting! _How fun. Let's see _just how far_ we can dwindle down Team America."

**4:57 PM.**

"Okay, guys. Who are we voting off?"

Ohio addressed all of his teammates in the living quarters of Team America's bus. After only Virginia and Illinois showed up, he was forced to yell at everyone until they attended his meeting. He looked at them all seriously, and raised his hand. "As leader of this team, I nominate Indiana."

A single eyebrow rose from her. "Okay. And exactly _why__?_" she asked, arms crossed.

"Because I think Blaineley doesn't like you. And if she doesn't like you, she'll just continue to make life hell for our team."

"Yeah, but I think Indiana did a pretty amusing job," North Carolina commented. "She was hilarious, and just seeing the look on Blaineley's face was worth it. I want to vote off Kentucky."

A few sympathetic nods went around. "Awww, why?" Kentucky whined.

"No, we're voting off Indiana, and that's final," Ohio seethed. "We vote as a _team_. That's how we'll get through this. Trust me. With me as leader, we're already doing better."

"Except for the fact that we lost the first challenge we got with you as leader," Indiana pointed out. "Maybe we're _cursed__ now_, brought on by... I dunno, Michigan being voted off."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and things like that are exactly why you're being voted off tonight, Indiana," Ohio asserted. "There's no curse. We just had a bad day, is all. Now stop acting like babies and lighten up. We're doing just _fine_ as a team."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_66_mp3**

"Alright, Ohio's one of my closest friends on this show, but... I don't know, y'all, but seein' him as leader just kinda seems off-puttin'. Y'know? Like... ever since Michigan got voted off, I've just had a bad feelin' about all this deep down inside me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid."

Virginia

**7:02 PM.**

"Good evening, everybody!" Blaineley chimed to the seven contestants as they exited the bus and into the almost empty parking lot of a Walmart. Blaineley was all smiles now with the knowledge that a few cameras were pointed her way. "We should be having an _exciting_ voting ceremony tonight! I'm so excited!"

The contestants didn't seem as pumped as her, oddly enough, and instead chose to just take their seats on the ground. Blaineley pouted at the lack of a reaction, but withdrew a bag of marshmallows, and declared, "Well, I've got marshmallows for six of you! And don't any of you dare say you miss Chris. He's not coming back. _Ever_. Never, ever, ever. So just go ahead and put that silly thought back in your head for now as I give out these marshmallows."

"Maryland! No votes!"

A marshmallow was tossed her way. Blaineley grinned widely at the remaining six. "North Carolina! Here's a marshmallow. No votes."

...

"Ohio and Virginia! Two marshmallows. No votes for either of you."

That just left Indiana, Illinois, and Kentucky. Blaineley smiled sweetly at the boys, and scowled briefly at Indiana. "Just two marshmallows, and three of you!" she announced. "Each of you got at least one vote. But who will make it out tonight?"

...

"Illinois. Just one vote. You get a marshmallow."

He caught it gratefully, and glanced around nervously at everyone. Blaineley narrowed her eyes.

"I was not happy with tonight's result. However... I have to go along with whatever the majority wants, and evidently the majority wants a dim-witted, sarcastic, moody little teenage girl! Kentucky, you got four votes, beat it."

Ohio scowled at his five teammates as Indiana smiled slightly. "Awww, _whyyy?_" Kentucky cried. "What did I ever do?"

"You wore a bowl on your head."

"You suggested our team be called Team Onion."

"You repeatedly-"

"Okay! Okay, I'm going..." Kentucky mumbled, gathering his things. "I guess you guys aren't a fan of people who are _eccentric_, I guess."

Kentucky grabbed his bags from the bus, and walked off towards the taxi without another word. There was a lengthy silence as a car door slammed in the distance. Blaineley was about to reach into her purse for a cigarette, when Indiana suddenly piped up, "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. I'm a lesbian."

There was an even longer pause. "Um..." Virginia said slowly, "is now _really_ the best time to be coming out of the closet? I mean, considering we just lost a challenge, and all."

Silence.

**10:25 PM.**

Team Victory's bus steadily rumbled along the smooth roads south into the mid-west. Most of its occupants were asleep. Only Washington was awake, reading a newspaper article while lying on the couch sleepily.

He turned the page. There was a black-and-white photo of Chris McLean in orange prison garb. Washington sighed, and put the newspaper aside, right as Oregon walked in timidly.

"Oh, um, sorry if I'm disturbing you, Washington..."

"It's no problem. What do you need?"

"Well..."

Oregon hesitated, and then sat down beside Washington, looking afraid to speak. Washington studied his expression, and eventually just said, "Alright. You're about to reveal something to me. What is it?"

"Um... wow, how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess."

"Oh... okay, well... Washington, you're my best friend in this show, and I think it's fitting that you know this about me first. Okay... this is kind of hard to say, actually-"

"Wait," Washington suddenly intervened. "If we're about to start confessing things, first think. Is this something you want a camera to know about, and therefore millions of people?"

Oregon froze. "Um. I - I... no, not really."

"Hm. Okay. Well, while we're confessing things, I might as well get this off my chest. I'm gay."

"Yeah, that's fine if you don't wanna - wait, _what?_"

Oregon's jaw went wide at Washington. "_YOU?_"

"What's the matter?"

"But... you're so... you're not feminine at all! How are you gay?"

"Not all gay guys are feminine."

"Well, I know that, it's just... _really?_"

"Yep. What'd you want to tell me, Oregon? I can probably disable the cameras if need be."

Oregon hesitated at that, and then plowed on. "I just can't believe... do the others know yet?"

"No. But they will eventually."

...

"Wow. I didn't know there were so many gay guys on this show."

Washington frowned at that, and leaned back on the couch, thinking. "All we know is that Massachusetts is gay or something," he reasoned. "That's... what? Two in fifty total contestants? Including me? That's not so surprising."

"Yeah... I... I guess. Um... thanks for telling me, Washington, I understand that was probably - probably really - really _hard_ to, um... get off your chest..."

"Nah. I'm not really, uh, prone to getting nervous."

There was a really long, awkward pause, that was only broken by Oregon stammering, "Well, I should - should probably be getting back to bed, now..."

"Alright. See you tomorrow."

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, and Kentucky.

**aspiringAnimator** - Hahah, wow, I didn't initially plan for so many people to come out of the closet this episode. But this is the highly-coveted second Act, so I've got to get a few plot arcs moving. But yeah, Washington and Indiana were always planned to be gay. That was always going to be a thing. Hope I'm not pushing too much LGBT stuff. There's pleeenty of straight romance in this fic soon enough.

Review! I love it when you guys do that. Also, favorite and follow, if you haven't! When you do that, a tiny winged baby delivers you messages when this story gets updated. How cool is that? WOW. 21st century magic going on here, people.

The poll continues to be a thing, and will be a thing until this story ends. I assume most of you guys have heard me going on and on about it, so I'll shut up. Also, woo, we're approaching the two month mark soon! I will throw a party, and then crash it personally.


	18. Caving In

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 17: CAVING IN**

_"I don't belong in here!" - New Hampshire_

**Sunday, August 31st, 2014. Mammoth Cave National Park, Kentucky. 10:19 AM.**

The last shimmers of an August sun were currently beaming down upon the five buses as they made their way through Kentucky. Soon, September would arrive, and with it the slightly chillier temperatures in some of the more northern regions.

As of now, a small yellow tinge was growing upon a few of the trees along the Kentucky countryside, a sign of the brilliant autumnal foliage that was to come. The Fifty State Roadtrip was only just getting underway, and the incredible media scandal roused by Chris's arrest in the weeks prior only helped push the show towards fame.

However... while you were on the show yourself... things were different. It was a lot harder to think about fame when you were too busy worrying about not getting voted off.

Such was the case in Team Dakota's bus.

Nebraska, Kansas, and Utah all sat around the tiny table in the living quarters of their bus. On the couch, North Dakota sat, swiping her finger along her recently-bought iPod Touch. Every few moments she grinned smugly. A long wooden cane sat in her lap, which she was beginning to use frequently for drubbings against teammates that acted out against her regime.

Kansas sneezed, soliciting a glare from North Dakota. Evidently, her temper was not difficult to set off.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_67_mp3**

"Okay. I hate this show now. I need to make this quick, since... we're... not actually supposed to use the confessionals. But seriously, I hate being on this show. Or this team. Whatever. I think North Dakota suspects I was involved in treason against her... this... this isn't what I expected reality television to be like! I want to continue in Minnesota's footsteps, and try to take North Dakota down, but... I dunno. I'm too tired of failing my teammates. I almost _want_ to go home, and go back to school. Since there's basically no chance of me winning the prize."

Nebraska

**10:50 AM.**

"Well, you could have at least _told_ me!"

"I don't see why this is such a big deal."

"You being lesbian _is_ a big deal! I'm supposed to be your friend!"

North Carolina was yelling at Indiana in the confines of Team America's bus. All five buses had stopped at a gas station, filling up on fuel. The rest of Team America, small numbers though they were, were inside, buying snacks.

Indiana sighed. "It doesn't matter. Why do you care? My sexuality is about as uninteresting as the color of my hair."

"It's a _big_ thing, Indiana! We're _friends_. Friends tell each other stuff!"

"Well, Carolina, I didn't realize we were supposed to make friendship bracelets and tell each other our most heart-felt secrets and desires. Oh my goodness, did you know Jessica likes Brad? What a _surprise!_ We are all blown away by this startling revelation."

"_Damn it_, Indiana! You're always so sarcastic about everything! Can't you stop making everything such a big _joke?_"

"Girl, lighten up. You always blow everything out of proportions. So what if I'm a lesbian? It doesn't matter. Our team is cursed, so we're probably going to the voting ceremony tonight again. And with any luck, I'll be the one going home."

At that moment, Ohio had walked in, staring at the two of them, and holding a bag of gummy worms. "Cursed?" he asked. "No. Indiana, we're _not_ cursed, cut that garbage out. It was just... two bad losses. That's all. I'm sure we'll recuperate. Now stop being such a downer. It's not like _Michigan_ was the one holding our team together."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and North Carolina groaned in response to Indiana's absolutely dull response to just about everything. Ohio retreated to his bunk room, probably to drop off his snacks.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_68_mp3**

"Why doesn't Indiana tell me anything? We're _friends_. That's what friends do. If I was a lesbian, I would've told her! I - I mean... y'know, probably. I don't want to make a bigger deal about it than it needs to be, but... still."

North Carolina

**11:08 AM.**

Slowly, the five buses stopped at the end of a long, long trail in the middle of the woods. Blaineley awaited at the end of the trail, her limousine waiting patiently at her side. She beamed a wide, dead smile as the contestants climbed out of the buses and the cameras switched on. "_Good morning_, contestants!" she greeted. "As you can see, I am _still the host!_ So please stop making confessionals wishing otherwise. We're not going to use them."

There was a long silence, as the rest of the thirty-four contestants climbed out of the buses. Once everyone was ready and listening patiently, Blaineley began to speak.

"There has been... a change in plans. I am no longer allowed to decide what the challenges will be-"

A huge cheer erupted from the contestants. Texas was fist pumping the air, and Alabama swooped up Mississippi for a rather silly kiss. Blaineley began to scowl. "Quiet!" she screeched. "I am _still_ your host! It's just... the producers didn't _like_ my hand-crafted challenges last episode, so... they've chosen them for us instead. But that's okay! That's... that's fine! It's fine... anyway, here's today's challenge. Does anybody know where we are?"

New Jersey raised his hand, and yelled, "The middle of the woods?"

...

"Go stand in the corner, New Jersey," Blaineley reprimanded with a harsh glare.

"But... ma'am... we're outside..."

"Then shoosh! And listen to me." She finished off with a wide smile, and adjusted her hair. "This is Mammoth Cave National Park!" she yelled, gesturing vaguely towards the scenery around them. "Some of the world's largest cave systems are beneath our feet. And you kids are gonna be exploring them."

Blaineley then pointed at a huge rock face behind her, the side of a mountain. In the center of that rockface... a long, thin crevice was clearly visible, one that seemed to dip into a pitch black dark void. Blaineley's grin widened spectacularly at everyone's reactions to seeing the cave.

"By... like, ourselves?" California whimpered. Blaineley laughed. "Of course not! Each contestant will have their own personal trainer to help guide them through the treacherous passages." At that, everyone breathed out a sigh of relief. Blaineley waited a couple more seconds, and then laughed.

"Ahahahahahaaa! You _actually_ think we've got the money to _do_ that? Ohhh, you kids are so gullible. I can see why Chris loved you all so much. No, your job is to get through these caves to the end with only your team to help you! First team to make it to the end wins. But watch out. There are many pathways, and only one correct exit... so! I'll see you kids later. Oh, wait..."

She kicked open a large metal box. "Flashlights for everyone!" she yelled. "Not all of them have good batteries, so... fight amongst yourselves, I suppose. I'm going _shopping!_ See you all when the challenge is over!"

**11:31 AM.**

Team Democracy carefully made their way into the cave. Since their bus was usually the one to lead the other four teams' buses, it was fitting that they would be going first into the pitch black depths. Flickering flashlights bounced along the damp cave walls, illuminating the long, pointy stalagmites that protruded from the ground everywhere. New York was leading the way, pointing his flashlight ahead with a determined grip. Behind them, Team America followed in the distance.

"This place smells weird..." Connecticut remarked, glancing at the slick cave walls. "Like mold, or... or rubber. Or something."

New York held out a hand. "Careful, guys," he cautioned. "Watch your footing. The cave's starting to go down now. Don't slip."

The eight members of Team Democracy carefully made their way down the slope, descending deeper into the darkness. Suddenly, the path split off into two different directions. One twisted out of view, while the other seemed to keep going down. New York frowned, and muttered, "Which way should we go? It's a split path..."

Massachusetts shrugged in response. "Beats me. Blaineley probably _wants_ us to get lost."

New Hampshire, in one of her rare words bouts of communication, suggested, "Maybe we should take the path on the right? The one that turns suddenly."

An exhausted sigh came from New York. "Alright," he consented. "If it's a dead end, we turn back. We don't want to get too far behind the others if it is."

**11:46 AM.**

Team Victory, following close behind Team America, slowly descended deeper into the mammoth-sized cave. Eerie shadows were cast upon the slick walls by their flashlights. It was creepy, that much was for certain.

Faaar up ahead, Team Democracy turned right at a split path. After a brief discussion, Team America followed them. By the time Team Victory arrived at the split, however, it was impossible to hear teams America or Democracy.

"Which way should we go?" Arizona asked, peering into the void. "Hmm..." Washington murmured, glancing between the two options. "Well... nobody's gone down the path on the left. It might not be a terrible idea to go that way. Plus, it keeps going down, and it's a little wider."

"You're the boss," Hawaii remarked, shrugging. And just like that, Team Victory was descending even deeper into the caverns, the only source of illumination being their hand-held flashlights. All of a sudden, California gasped, nearly dropping her flashlight. "What if we get lost?" she yelped.

Washington grinned slyly. "If it comes to that... we've got this," he said, and pulled out the PDA the team had purchased from the Mall of America challenge. "It should show us our GPS, assuming we can get a signal down here. And if we can't, it still has a compass _and_ a depth measure. I've been experimenting with it a little. This way, we'll know exactly how far down we are."

That seemed to quell California's fears, and the team delved further into the depths. Indeed, the cave _did_ seem to be getting wider; small pools of water had collected on the cave floor in a few places. Drops of water dripped down from the ceiling every few moments, making soft splatting noises on the stalagmites they landed upon.

"Hey, Washington," Oregon whispered, catching up. Washington smiled slightly, and murmured, "Hey. What's up?"

"Oh... nothing, just wanted to chat."

The two began to slightly lag behind the other four members of their team as they all splashed through the shallow, murky puddles of the cave.

After a length pause, Oregon tentatively asked, "So... you're gay."

"Yep."

"Were you out of the closet at home?"

Washington thought about that for a moment. "Sort of..." he muttered. "To some people. The week before I left for DC - y'know, for this show - the situation had started to become... um... slightly out of hand."

"Like how?"

"Well, news had started to get out. Hold on - I need to start from the beginning."

Oregon listened patiently as the group proceeded deeper into the caverns. Washington sighed, and explained, "This goes back to... 2013. I was a sophomore at school in Seattle. I didn't know anybody, since I'd just moved to a new school.. But I met a guy named... um. Let's say his name was... Andrew. Well... this guy was absolutely _brilliant_. I mean that. It's part of the reason I started thinking a lot more analytically about - well, everything. Things between us... started to get a little... _involved_ by Christmas."

Eyebrows raised from Oregon. "By early 2014, we were... dating," Washington explained, showing nervousness in his voice for the first time since the show started. "But it was a very hushed matter. My parents are really conservative, and they'd blow their gasket once they knew. But a _lot_ of people began to suspect what was going on once the school year was almost over. Most people were supportive, but... I couldn't let my parents know."

The cave grew silent, as Washington looked more and more somber. "It... it grew so complicated. I liked him a lot - brilliant thinker. Taught me everything I know about psychology. But I... I had to cut it off. My parents couldn't know. But... he grew kind of angry about that, and... um. Told everyone I was gay. It was a nightmare."

The rest of Team Victory was now far ahead, flashing their lights all over the walls of the cave. "So..." Washington concluded, "I applied for every reality show that I could. Ones that would take me away from home. And I got accepted by this one. The Fifty State Roadtrip. It seemed like a way to not only get away from home, but to exercise my thinking skills and meet new people. And... here I am."

"Wow..." Oregon murmured, looking down at the cave floor. "I didn't know. It... um... sounds like you had a lot on your plate, Washington."

"Yeah. You could say that. It was a long year. But... if I win on this show, I might actually be free from all that. Which is why we should probably catch up with the others."

"Oh! Right," Oregon stammered, and the two jogged ahead to catch up with the rest of their team.

**12:25 PM.**

"Any idea where we are?" Virginia wearily asked Ohio. Team America, who had all been following Team Democracy, lost them about half an hour earlier. Now, they were all alone in the pitch-black cave.

"I don't know..." Ohio moaned, rubbing his eyes. "I'm getting tired of walking around, and it's hard to breathe down here. I need some fresh air."

North Carolina nodded in agreement to that. "Yeah. Maybe we should all sit down and take a break."

At that suggestion, it was agreed that was a good idea, and the six members of Team America all sat down to rest. A deep, mournful tune began whistling through the caverns. They were all alone. In a manner of speaking, of course.

A few minutes later, a growl came from the corner. Ohio bolted upright, looking warily into the dark. "Who's there?" he yelped. A few of his bored teammates glanced around sleepily. The growl continued, right in their direction.

A pissed-off bear lumbered from the shadows, sniffing at the six teens. Everyone jumped up, instantly alert. "Don't make a move," Ohio whispered. "It can't see us unless we move. I'll go get h-"

The bear roared. Maryland screamed, and Illinois fell down, sobbing hysterically. "RUN!" Virginia shouted, and each person took off in the darkness, the bear in hot pursuit.

**12:29 PM.**

A distant, distorted scream echoed off the cave walls. "Did you hear something?" South Dakota nervously asked her sister, who wielded all seven of the team's flashlights. North Dakota shrugged in response. "It probably doesn't matter. We keep following Team Victory like this, and we avoid going to the voting ceremony tonight."

"But how do we know they're going the right way...?"

"They've got some fancy PDA or whatever. And also fifteen hundred condoms, from what I know-"

"What?"

"Never mind, South."

The seven contestants from Team Dakota tromped deeper into the cave. Stalactites pointed down from the ceilings, creating an ominous spectacle from above. Eerie shadows bounced along the cave walls. Up ahead, the six tiny lights of Team Victory receded into the distance. North Dakota adjusted her pace to keep up, when Oklahoma suddenly appeared beside her. "Do you need anything, Glorious Leader?" she asked in a timid voice.

"What we need is to win this challenge. And for Chris to become our host again. I hate Blaineley, she's not very imaginative."

"Oh."

Oklahoma walked hesitantly beside North Dakota and South Dakota. "Er... is there anything I can do to gain your favor, Glorious Leader?" Oklahoma asked after a few more moments of walking.

"If you want me to like you, Oklahoma, just stay out of my way."

"...oh."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_69_mp3**

"I've gotten just a few too many complaints about me not letting anybody else use the confessionals. Okay, by 'complaints', I mean slightly reproachful glares when I remind everyone. Well, for one thing, this is _my team_. I have the right to tell people what they can and cannot do. Why does everyone always want to use the confessional? Like I remind everyone, if you want to use the confessional booth, that means that _you have a secret_. And secrets are bad. At least, they are when I don't know them."

North Dakota

**12:37 PM.**

Heavy footsteps thudded along a slick cave floor. North Carolina sprinted along a pitch black, narrow corridor. A bear roared triumphantly far behind her. She ran further, only to-

WHAM. She collided with Indiana.

"Shit!" Indiana yelped, and looked up to see who she'd ran straight into. "North Carolina? Where are you going? The bear's in the direction you're running."

"I - but I thought - behind me-"

"The exit's this way. I saw a light. Come on."

North Carolina then followed Indiana deeper into the chasm. Drawn-out yelps erupted far behind them, echoing around the walls like some kind of twisted auditorium.

"Where _are_ we?" North Carolina yelled, but Indiana didn't respond. Instead, Indiana pulled North Carolina into the light-

The two of them were outside now, having climbed out of a narrow hole in a tall rock face. There was nobody around, just the tall swaying pine trees and stout, green-and-yellow birch trees. North Carolina caught her breath, and looked around. "There's nobody here," she gasped. Indiana sighed, and surveyed the forest around them. "Yeah... there isn't," she agreed. "C'mon. Blaineley probably expected everyone to come out of a different hole. Let's look around."

**12:48 PM.**

"Fifty-four bottles of beer on the wall, fifty-four bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, fifty-three bottles of beer on the wall..."

Texas sang a merry tune as Team Touchdown descended deeper into the abyss of the cave. Despite the fact that none of them had heard anybody else for the past hour, almost everyone seemed in good spirits. Except Arkansas.

Arkansas was looking worried. "You're _sure_ we're not lost?" he tentatively asked Mississippi, who looked down at him with a confused expression. "Lost?" she asked, bewildered. "My boyfrien's leadin' us. Alabama. We ain't gonna get lost."

That didn't seem good enough for Arkansas, but he refrained from complaining again for a while. The cave was getting thinner and thinner now; the seven members of Team Touchdown were now forced to squeeze through, walking sideways with their stomach's tucked in. Alabama was having a little trouble.

"Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, forty-nine bottles of... eugh... ow. Take one down, dah-dah-dah-dah... forty-eight... I can't go any further, y'all."

"Aw. I liked that song, Texas-"

"Naw, bro, I mean I literally can't fit through this cave no more. It's too tight."

Everyone shifted around uncomfortably, and seemed to be having similar issues. "We gonna turn back?" Tennessee asked. Alabama looked around wearily, and muttered, "Yeah... I guess so. We been goin' down this corridor for a while now, though... it's gonna take a while."

The team resignedly turned around, and began heading down the opposite direction in the tunnel. Suddenly, a light flickered.

"My light's goin' out!" Georgia yelped, shaking her flashlight up and down and smacking it with the palm of her hand over and over again. Within moments, however, it died for good. She threw it on the floor with a pouting face, as Texas muttered, "Well... we got six others. We'll be fi-"

Just like that, Texas's light went out, too, but without any flickering. He tried turning it back on, but the switch wouldn't budge. "Damn! My light's broke too!" he yelled, hitting it on the wall.

"Well, hitting it won't help anything!" Arkansas cautioned. "All this means is that we'll have to hurry."

"I didn't _ask_ you, Arkansas! This ain't helpin' anything - now my light's out, too!"

One by one, each person's flashlight cut out. Once Mississippi's light went out for good, they were in the dark.

...

...

...

"Forty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, forty-eight bottles of beer..."

**1:03 PM.**

Team Democracy trudged through the narrowing corridors of the cave. The day was beginning to wear on, now, and this showed in the eight teammates expressions. New Hampshire, who had been providing minor suggestions on directions, had now resigned to following far back behind the others, utterly worn out. Massachusetts, who was almost always tolerant and respectful, had grown snappy and tired. The fact that no other teams had been heard from for the last hour wasn't helping anything.

"Guys, I really think we're lost," Connecticut mourned. "We must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, and I _really_ don't feel comfortable down here-"

"It's fine, Connecticut," New York affirmed, looking ahead with sleepy eyes. "We're not lost. The exit's... just ahead. I'm sure of it."

The team walked ahead in uncertainty, impeded by tiredness. The path ahead was uncertain, and rife with danger. In fact, just half an hour earlier, distant yells had been heard from far away, echoing all over the cave walls and eventually sounding like horrible hyena calls. But now, there was nothing.

They came at a split in the path again. "We go left," New York decided. Massachusetts rolled his eyes, clearly tired out of his wits from all this. "Who says you get to decide?" he snapped. "Doesn't matter which way we go. We'll just be lost as ever."

New York looked a little taken aback. "What's your deal, Massachusetts?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "We're fine. We'll be out of here. I'm... sure of it."

Massachusetts was quiet for a few more minutes as the eight tromped deeper into the cave. After a while, he said, "I can't breathe. The air quality down here is simply _terrible_."

"It really is," New York agreed. "But it should... it should be getting better as we get to the exit. I mean... right?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_70_mp3**

"Thinking back on it, I was probably a little too rude down there. I blame the air supply, I think. But... yeah. I'm sorry. I just really hate caves."

Massachusetts

**1:20 PM.**

"I really don't like this place..." Oregon murmured, looking worriedly around the cave. The six members of Team Victory trudged through knee-deep water in the depths of the cave. Ahead, a steady breeze lifted their hair. After a brief silence, Washington looked up at New Mexico, and remarked, "You really gotta wear shades in a cave, too?"

"Shades are cool, Washington. I'll buy you some at the next rest stop."

"...but you wear them _all the time_."

Arizona hugged New Mexico's arm with a small grin. "He looks good in them," she explained. "And I can vouch for that."

Washington shrugged, with an amused smile. Suddenly, New Mexico pointed ahead. "Look, guys!" he yelled. "A light!"

Far off at the end of the cave, light streamed in. California gasped, and clapped her hands. Hawaii jumped, and fist-pumped the air. "Yeah!" he cheered. "We made it! Come on, guys!"

Team Victory rushed towards the light, and climbed out the opening, finding themselves outside for the first time in hours. Sure enough, Blaineley stood waiting with her camera crew. "Oh, finally," she said, grimacing at Team Victory. "Someone finally made their way out of the cave other than these two idiots."

She jerked a thumb behind her, where Indiana and North Carolina stood. Indiana scowled at Blaineley. "Aw. And I was having such a fun time with our _lovable host_, too," she commented, smirking. Blaineley rolled her eyes at Indiana's snide remarks, and waved her arms. "Well, we've finally got a winning team. Where is everybody, anyway?"

Washington shrugged, looking back into the cave. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I think Team Dakota was following us for a while back there, but - wait-"

And just like that, the entirety of Team Dakota climbed out of the exit to the cave. North Dakota gasped in the fresh air, after her sister helped haul her out. "Whew!" she panted. "We made it."

Blaineley nodded, looking worried for the first time in a while. "We're still missing three teams..." she murmured, biting her long fingernails. "It's... _okay_ if a few contestants go missing, right?"

...

**2:13 PM.**

"Okay. Virginia!"

"Here!"

"Illinois?"

"I'm here."

"Maryland?"

"Here!"

"Okay..." Ohio murmured. "Okay, we're just missing Indiana and North Carolina now. Now, I'm not sure where they are, but we've got to find the exit to this place. That bear's probably not too far behind us. Alright? Now let's go."

The four ran forward, splashing through small puddles. Ahead, a dull blue light shone around a crack, when-

CRASH. The four slammed into a huge party of people. "Argh! What the hell?" Texas shouted, almost knocked over by Ohio's running. "Team America?"

The two teams stared at each other for but a second. Any alliance they'd had since the Civil War challenge was gone, right when everyone noticed the exit was right ahead.

"GO!" Ohio shouted, running forward, but was only knocked to the side by Alabama. The two teams rushed forward, and burst into the sunlight.

"Whoa!" Washington yelled, as eleven contestants burst out of a crack in the rocks. "More people?"

Alabama ran forward, gasping. "We made it!" he yelled. "We - we made it ahead of Team America... we beat them..."

"We beat you guys!" Ohio countered, pointing his finger accusatorily towards Team Touchdown. "_We_ did!"

"No, you didn't!" Blaineley yelled, grinning widely. "Which means... Team America is going to the voting ceremony! Woo! Third time in a row!"

"_NO!_" Virginia yelled. "Not _again!_"

An uproar began from Team America. Indiana was arguing with Blaineley, who had her hand extended and right in Indiana's face. Ohio was screaming at Team Touchdown. "We _can't lose! _We've lost _twice in a row_ already!"

New York, with the rest of his team behind him, climbed out of the rock face wearily, looking around at almost three-dozen contestants arguing at each other. "What's going on?" he asked.

Everyone turned their heads to look at Team Democracy. Blaineley's jaw dropped. "Oh. There was still another team left?" she asked. "I keep forgetting there are like five teams on this show. Well, that settles it! It looks like Team Democracy lost this time."

The members of Team Democracy all collectively groaned, as the six from Team America all sighed in relief. "You mean we lost?" Massachusetts asked, unbelieving. "I can't believe it. We've only been in there for..."

Massachusetts checked his watch. His eyes bulged. "Oh. Three hours."

Blaineley smiled at that, and gave Team Democracy an intimidating wave. "Time to break that eight-member team down, Democracy!" she yelled. "Follow me to the buses! We've got a voting ceremony coming up."

**6:56 PM.**

"Pennsylvania!"

Pennsylvania caught her marshmallow. The voting ceremony was already underway. Blaineley frowned at Pennsylvania. "You were literally the only person to not get any votes. This team's voting is all over the place."

Everybody but Pennsylvania gaped in shock. At least one vote for each person. This was no good sign.

"Connecticut. One vote."

A marshmallow was thrown, and then gratefully caught. "Delaware! One vote..."

Delaware caught her marshmallow. Blaineley grinned at the depleting numbers of Team Democracy. "Maine!" Blaineley called, and tossed a marshmallow.

"Massachusetts, New Jersey, and... New York! One vote each."

The three guys all caught their marshmallows. Blaineley smiled widely at the last person. The only one who hadn't gotten a marshmallow.

New Hampshire. She looked around with a confused expression. "Where's mine?" she asked, realization slowly dawning onto her face.

"In the taxi," Blaineley explained slowly, as though New Hampshire was stupid or something. "You're going home. You got two votes!"

"I... two... wait, why?"

"I'm not sure. Seems random to me! Into the cab you go!"

"Wait!" New Hampshire yelled. "No! Why me? Why not - why not Connecticut, or Maine, or - agh! Please!"

Blaineley tossed a purple duffel bag into New Hampshire's arms. "Bye!" she yelled, waving her hand sweetly. "You're off the show. You didn't speak much, anyway. Too quiet!"

"No!"

New Hampshire was thrown into the car. Her face appeared at the window. "No! Let me back on!" she yelled in muffled tones, banging on the window with her fist. "I don't belong in here!"

The taxi began to drive off. Pennsylvania looked disappointed, but Blaineley's thrill at hosting her very own show only grew. "Thanks for watching!" she yelled. "New episodes on CampTV on weekends and Wednesdays. Will the 'curse' upon Team America ever be lifted? Will Team Democracy ever win physically demanding challenges? And will Chris ever come back on this show? Well, I _can_ tell you that the answer to that last one is no. Ahahaha!"

She gave a wave and a smile to the camera. Once it was shut off... her expression quickly switched back to that of a deep scowl.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_71_mp3**

"I liked New Hampshire a lot. She was really nice, and... she was my friend. I mean, I have other friends, too, like Maine, and Delaware, and New York, but... I think I was New Hampshire's _only_ friend. I didn't see anybody else jumping to her defense..."

Pennsylvania

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, and New Hampshire.

**aspiringAnimator** - Blughhh. Writing, writing, and writing for the past three hours. Sorry. I just happen to have very little time after school to write, so... y'know how it is. All my writing is usually restricted to weekends now. But hey, I managed to make the deadline! Sorry if a few parts of this episode seem rushed, like the ending. New Hampshire was never a really important character, and I... just didn't feel like she deserved an overtly-elaborate voting ceremony. She's the last person I can say that about from that team, though.

By the way, I've put in a Table of Contents at the beginning! As, y'know, an intro to the story, and to show where we currently are. It's mainly for navigating between the acts.

Make sure to review! I know some of you guys are keeping up with this story, and I am absolutely thrilled about that. But I need _feedback!_ Suggestions! Criticisms! All of that stuff makes a writer stronger. Like me! So not only are you helping me, but you're also helping the content become better. Hey, you might even end up in the story itself. That happens sometimes.


	19. Driver Re-Education

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Utah.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 18: DRIVER RE-EDUCATION**

_"You comin' or nah?" - Chef_

**Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014. Concord, New Hampshire. 10:00 AM.**

"Five... four... three... two..."

"Good morning, Twin Cities!" a cheery faced reported sung. "I'm Sandra Pittman of WCCO, and this is your nine o'clock morning news. Today is September 3rd, 2014, and the time is exactly nine o'clock AM. Bit chilly this morning, Minneapolis! Temperatures are expected to drop into the mid fifties in the mornings this week, and then swinging back up into the seventies by next Sunday. Hope you've gotten ready for fall! Snowfall is expected to pile up later this year as usual once November rolls around. Let's see what we've got in news."

There was a brief pause as the news anchor shuffled some papers on her desk. She then looked up into the camera with a happy smile. "Christian 'Chris' McLean," she began, "noted host of the internationally popular teenage television reality series, Total Drama, has cropped up on our radar once more. After his scandalous arrest in the middle of filming an episode a few weeks ago, he was sent into prison this Monday with charges pressed by CampTV, the show's network. However, this morning, fans of the show gathered around the CampTV headquarters in Toronto in protest. Take a look."

The video feed then switched to shaking footage of someone filming the scene in Toronto. About fifty teenage girls were crowded around the doors of a tall building, wielding signs and chanting simultaneously. The feed then swapped back to Pittman, who put on her extra-grim face for this spectacle. "That was the scene early this morning," she explained. "It's been reported that thousands of fans have been outraged in the decision, and that McLean has been an integral part of the Total Drama series. In fact, I have a call from a fan right now! Say hello... er, what was your name, sweetheart?"

"_Sierra!_" a static-laden voice rang out. Pittman smiled sweetly, and gave a friendly wave to the camera. "You're live with WCCO, Sierra!" she greeted. "So tell me. How _exactly_ has the online community received such news?"

"_Well, naturally we were all outraged!_" Sierra explained over the phone. "_Total Drama has always been hosted by Chris! So I, ConnectichusettsLover612, and a bunch of other of my forum buddies like _ChrisSupportersUnited413 and WolverineStateGirl1812_ started a protest!_"

"Amazing," Pittman breathed, checking her watch. "Well, I'll have to talk with you later, Sierra, as we're almost out of time. Say farewell!"

"_But wait! I'm not done! Don't forget to support Connecticut! He's the most_-"

The call was suddenly cut off for no apparent reason, as Sandra smiled blankly into the camera. "What a sweet girl," she sighed. "Well. Onto the weather. Dan, if you'd be so kind, show us how we're doing by the weekend, in terms of rainfall! I know we're in for a chilly one."

**10:36 AM.**

"Alright! Is everyone here?" Washington asked. The six members of Team Victory were all seated in the living quarters of the bus. In the middle of them all, three heavy, unopened cardboard boxes sat, each bearing the inscription "CONDOMS: 500 COUNT". Arizona was using a box to rest her elbows. "Okay, good..." Washington murmured. "I call a team meeting. Today is September 3rd, 2014, and the time is... seven thirty-seven AM-"

New Mexico hastily interrupted, stating, "Uh, my watch says eight thirty-five-"

"Yeah, I know mine's probably wrong," Washington explained, looking slightly weary. "I haven't bothered changing the hour since we travel so much. But that's not the point. The reason I've called this meeting is to discuss how far we've come in the competition so far."

Everyone listened patiently. Even California had taken a pause from looking at herself in the mirror to hear Washington's words. "It's been two months since we all stepped foot on this bus," he explained calmly. "In the process, we lost four team members. Let's all remember Montana, Nevada, Idaho, and Alaska. They were all pretty good competitors."

The six of them bowed their heads slightly in remembrance. Washington looked up grimly once a moment had passed. "If my calculations are correct, the show should be over on Christmas Day," he said. "And that's not even considering the possibility that another contestant might be added, or that multiple people will be eliminated one day. But I've got one piece of advice for all of us."

His five teammates all leaned in towards Washington. "Don't get cocky," Washington reminded. "Over-confidence leads to downfall. It happens every time. We're doing _okay_ as of now, as long as we don't lose any more challenges until the merge. Whenever that is."

"Whew!" New Mexico breathed, leaning back. "I was afraid you were about to tell us that _everything depended on victory_. That's a weight off my shoulders."

Arizona giggled, as Washington smiled tiredly. "Yeah, yeah, I know," he admitted. "It's a daunting task. But I think we can do it. I believe in everyone on this team. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but when all of us get together, I _know_ we're unstoppable."

Hawaii began clapping semi-sarcastically, yet he was grinning broadly. "Well put, bro," he complimented. "I think we got this game in the _bag!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_72_mp3**

"Alright, I didn't ask to be leader. But... holding meetings and stuff is a lot of fun. I like it. And I like most people in my team. Even California, who can... _sometimes_ be a little embarrassing to our team. But that's okay. Because together, we can make it in this game. I have confidence in that. And, psychologically, if you believe in something hard enough, it's more likely to come true. Due to confidence and stuff. Or self-esteem. I dunno. I read it somewhere."

Washington

**11:04 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus steadily made its way north across the New Hampshire state line. A dull September sun shone down on the hills and valleys of the state. A gentle breeze rustled the tall, yellowing birch trees.

Massachusetts was sitting on the couch of the bus, watching the local New Hampshire news. Over near the kitchen area, New Jersey was making a sandwich.

"_...yesterday, the Merrimack Police Department did the Ice Bucket Challenge in memory of recently-deceased, seventeen-year veteran of the force, Sergeant Ed Payne, who died of ALS Monday night. Payne was diagnosed with ALS three years ago, and news of the disease was devastating on the department. Police Chief Mark Doyle had something to say on the matter, stating..._"

Massachusetts rolled his eyes, and flipped the channel. "Hey, Jersey," he suddenly yelled. "What's an 'ice bucket challenge?'"

"Huh?" he asked, whipping around and diverting his attention from the sandwich he was making. "Oh. An... ice bucket challenge? Is that something new?"

Massachusetts shrugged as Maine walked in. "Hey, guys," she greeted, and sat down next to Massachusetts on the couch. "What's on TV?"

"Oh..." Massachusetts muttered, "not much. Just some local stations."

The two sat in silence, as New Jersey finished, and took his sandwich to his bunk room. After a while, Massachusetts slowly asked, "Were... you friends with New Hampshire?"

Maine didn't respond for a brief moment. She then hung her head. "Sort of..." she admitted. "She didn't really have many friends. It's kind of a shame she got voted off so randomly. But at least we're still doing well as a team."

Massachusetts nodded in response. "Yeah... sorry, I just didn't know if you were a little broken up about it, that's all."

Maine shook her head, a small smile on her face. "No. I don't think so. Most of my friends are still on the show, thank heavens."

**11:51 AM.**

The Toronto South Detention Centre. Toronto, Canada.

Hundreds of inmates were housed in this facility. Yet there was one important celebrity recently housed within the walls that we can't forget.

This was not the first time Chris McLean had been arrested. The first time involved a lot of toxic waste and some _minor explosives_. This second time involved crocodiles... and just a few _more_ minor explosives.

Chris, in his orange prison jumpsuit, sat glumly on his prison bed with his head in his hands and staring sadly at the floor. His hair was greasy and un-washed since the day he'd arrived; Chris had staunchly refused to go to the shower rooms for reasons he'd left unspecified.

His career was over. He was laughed out of his own show. His contestants were probably rejoicing in his absence, and that witch _Blaineley_ was certainly taking all his well-deserved paychecks._  
><em>

No. He deserved to host Total Drama. It was his show! Why can't the producers just _see_ that?

Chris kicked at a small pebble on the dusty floor of his cell, and mumbled, "Just a minor explosive... a _minor_ explosive. Oh, they'll see. They'll _all_ see. Eventually. I'll show them."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and flopped back down on his bed as the bell rang for lunch time. Rather unlike him, he began to cry silently. This was all so unfair.

**12:14 PM.**

"Good morning, happy contestants!" Blaineley squealed as the thirty-three remaining contestants wearily climbed out of the five buses and onto the sidewalks of Concord. "Hope you've all had a great labor day weekend!"

"Labor day already passed?" Ohio asked. Blaineley waved a hand like it didn't matter. Around her, a few of the contestants began to realize they'd spent a total of _two entire months_ on this show. "Okay!" Blaineley yelled. "In a show of hands, how many of you have your driver's license already?"

About eight people raised their hands cautiously. Blaineley frowned. "That's it?" she asked. "Well... okay. That means this challenge is going to be _extra_ interesting! Heheheheh. But first, a word of congratulations."

Blaineley beamed at the thirty-three teenagers standing before her. "Although I've only been host for a few weeks so far," she explained, "I would like to congratulate _all_ of you on a job well done. We're two months into the show!"

New Jersey began clapping slowly, expression dull. Blaineley scowled, but remembered she was on camera. "Oh, hush, it'll be fun!" she reassured them. "But first we've got to do our challenge! This challenge is all about following the rules. Namely... the rules of the road."_  
><em>

A loud, collective groan came from each of the five teams. Blaineley put her hands on her hips for the cameras. "Well, you _have_ to do it, otherwise you're disqualified!" she yelled. "So perk up. Each team must choose _one person_ to drive for their team! Pick wisely. I'll be sitting _right here_."

Blaineley snapped her fingers, and the cameras shut off. Her expression resumed to that of a scowl, as she picked up an A&W Root Beer from an intern's ice chest, and sat in a plastic lawn chair.

**12:17 PM.**

"Okay, well, obviously I'm driving," North Dakota declared to her team. "Unless one of you are some kind of driving prodigy or whatever."

"But you don't even have your learner's permit," South Dakota whispered to her sister in the commotion. "Maybe we should find someone who does."

North Dakota rolled her eyes, and groaned. "Fiiine," she moaned. "Raise your hand if you have your license. I swear I saw a hand or two earlier."

Only Utah raised his hand. North Dakota narrowed her eyes at him. "You can drive?" she asked.

"I... um... yeah. I'm a race car driver. I told you guys before-"

"Sure. Whatever. You're up. Screw us over, and you're dead. Everyone cool with this?"

Of course, nobody spoke out. She nodded her head affirmatively. "Good. Utah is representing us because he says he can. This is _me_ trying to be _nice_ here."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_73_mp3**

"Of course I know that Utah can't actually drive. Do you guys think I'm an idiot or something? Like I said, I know about _everything_ that happens on this show. I'm letting Utah drive, because... for one thing, nobody on my team knows how to drive. And if we _do _lose, it gives everyone reason to blame _him_, and not me. Not that people would vote for me. I'm just saying."

North Dakota

**12:18 PM.**

"Okay, guys!" New York yelled, smiling. "This challenge is well-suited to us. I think we could win. But we need to figure out who among us can actually drive. So... let's raise our hands again."

Delaware, Maine, and New York himself all raised their hands. "Okay," New York said, impressed. "I didn't know so many of us actually knew how. So who actually _wants_ to drive?"

Only Delaware raised her hand now, with a smug, confident grin. "I've had my license for almost a year now," she informed them. "I think I could do this. I mean... it's just a driving test... right?"

New York shrugged, but smiled widely. "If you think you can do it, then I believe you," he told her seriously. Suddenly, New Jersey popped up beside her, and brightly told her, "Good luck, doll. I bet you're the best driver _on_ this show."

She sidled away from him slightly. "Right..." New York murmured. "Well, let's all wait for Blaineley to decide whenever it's time to begin the challenge."

**12:25 PM.**

"Alright, y'all!" Texas yelled to his team. "So, if we're all in agreement, Alabama's drivin'!"

The whole team had been bickering for the past ten minutes now over who should be the one to drive. Arkansas was the only person on the team who actually had his driver's license, but both Texas and Mississippi wanted Alabama to drive, because it was "in his NASCAR blood", or something. Arkansas hadn't really pushed very hard for himself to be permitted to drive, but Tennessee, Louisiana, and Georgia all wanted him to.

"Y'all ain't even got your learner's permit!" Tennessee argued. "Arkansas needs to drive!"

"No, really, no thanks, Tennessee, I don't care whether or not if I-"

"Well, _we_ do!" Tennessee yelled right back at Arkansas. "We won't lose if _you_ drive! This ain't a race, Bama!"

"We don't know that!" Alabama argued. "If I was Chris, and I was sittin' there thinkin' up challenges, I'd think of a race!"

"But we ain't got Chris no more! And besides, we already did a race!"

Texas whistled loudly. "We gotta choose," he reminded them all as he eyed Blaineley standing up from her chair. "An' I pick Bama. And that's that."

"Time is _up!_" Blaineley shouted at the five teams. "You've had _plenty_ of time to figure out who's driving. I want one person from each team to follow me. We'll be doing this challenge one at a time. First up is Team Democracy! But that's right after the break!"

Blaineley stared into the camera with a wide, dead smile for several moments. Everyone exchanged glances. Did she finally lose it?

"And we're back!" she said with a large flourish. "First up is Team Democracy. Send up your contestant!"

Delaware nervously stood up, and shuffled over to Blaineley, who gave her a pseud-endearing pat on the head. "What's-her-name here will be driving for Team Democracy!" Blaineley announced. "Young lady, go take a seat in the car with your _instructor!_"_  
><em>

Chef emerged, frowning deeply at Blaineley and the rest of the contestants. "I don't get paid 'nough for this..." he muttered, and climbed into the passenger seat of the car. He then patted the driver's seat with a huge hand. "Come on, girl!" he yelled from the car. "I don't got all day!"

Delaware carefully climbed into the driver's seat of the car. She checked her mirrors. She buckled her seat belt, and shifted into drive.

"I. Don't. Have. All. Day!" Chef reminded her. "I'm sorry! I'm _sorry!_" she cried, and began driving off. Chef leaned back in his seat. "Take a right up here!" he told her.

Delaware turned right at the stop sign. There were very few other vehicles around, but Chef's presence was making her shake physically. "Now take a left!" he barked. The car skidded as it turned, almost throwing Chef onto his side, had it not been for his seat belt, which somehow stretched all the way across his stomach. "Minus twelve points!" he yelled. "Don't be makin' more mistakes, now!"

Evidently, Chef's "encouragement" took such a toll on Delaware that when she pulled up to the sidewalk, as her team anxiously awaited her, Chef had taken off a total of thirty-three points, leaving her at just sixty-seven total. She was on the verge of tears as her team received her. Blaineley merely smiled widely at them all. "Team Democracy takes the lead with sixty-seven points!" she declared. "Who will be able to top it? Well... let's have Team Touchdown try their hand at it!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_74_mp3**

"I feel humiliated. I should have driven perfectly! Especially considering I'm one of the only people on this show who recently turned seventeen, thank you very much. It's not like my birthday was celebrated by more than a few people on here. But anyways... I should've driven better than I did. It's just... that Chef guy is so intimidating."

Delaware

**12:47 PM.**

Alabama climbed into the tiny little student driver car. Chef sat beside him, wearing an annoyed expression. "Let's see how well you can drive, ginger!" he barked. Alabama nodded in response, confident. He buckled his seat belt, and pulled out of the parking space.

"You didn't check yo' mirrors just then!" Chef yelled. "Minus six points!"

"Oh, my bad," Alabama quickly apologized. But then a fleeting idea suddenly took hold. "You watch football, Chef?"

"Do I watch - hell, _yeah_, I watch football! Them New Orleans Saints are gonna _take_ the national championship this year."

Alabama grinned smugly, as Chef was distracted by the talk of football. "Well," Alabama countered as he drove smoothly along the streets of Concord, "Y'all can't forget about them 49'ers. And 'specially not the Seahawks, after last year's super bowl. I'd bet on the..."

**1:02 PM.**

The tiny little vehicle pulled up to the sidewalk, and to the anxiously awaiting members of Team Touchdown. Chef climbed out of the car, and yelled, "Ninety-four points!"

A huge cheer rose from Team Touchdown, as everyone went to congratulate Alabama. "Dude," Texas whispered, "What'd you do?"

"Simple," Alabama said, smiling smugly. "I just started talking about football. He was so distracted that he never noticed I ran a red light at one point."

"Ninety-four points for Team Touchdown!" Blaineley announced, smiling wide for the cameras. "A very impressive performance, especially considering Alabama didn't even have his learner's permit! Up next... is Team Victory! Send up your competitor!"

Team Victory had made a vote to see who would drive. It was between Arizona and Washington. Washington had won by two votes, since New Mexico was the only one who faithfully voted for Arizona. Washington cautiously walked up, looking slightly apprehensive. "Oooh!" Blaineley croned. "The handsome ladies man from Team Victory!"

"Um, I don't think that accurately describes me-"

"Never you mind, Washington! So. Do you have your license?"

"Uh, I was going to get it before I got on the show, but some stuff happened, so I just have my learner's-"

"Fantastic! That means this is still legal. Hop in with Chef, and take him for a ride!"

Washington cautiously climbed into the car with Chef, who didn't seem too happy with the change in driver. "You know anythin' 'bout football?" Chef barked.

"Um, sort of - I mean, not really..."

Chef's scowl deepened. "Drive!" he ordered, and Washington obeyed.

...

Needless to say, Chef was not happy with Washington's driving. When the car pulled up, Washington immediately freed himself, stumbling out and wiping Chef's spittle off his glasses. "He just kept _yelling!_" Washington gasped. "He - he wouldn't stop - gah, I need to breathe-"

As Oregon and New Mexico helped support Washington, Blaineley asked, "So what's the final score, Chef?"

"Fifty-two! That boy needs to learn his _parallel parkin'!_"

"Uh oh!" Blaineley squealed, smiling at Team Victory's misfortune. "That puts you guys in last place! You six had better hope one of these other teams will be worse than _you_ kids were. Bring on out... North Dakota!"

Utah was rather roughly pushed forward. Blaineley appeared confused. "Sweetie, are you lost?" she asked in a sickly-sweet tone.

"Um... no, I'm driving for Team Dakota..."

"Oh," Blaineley deadpanned. "Well. That was unexpected. Um... you can... hop in the car, I guess..."

Utah did as he was instructed. Funnily enough, the last two months had made him exceptionally receptive to receiving orders from superiors. "Hi. I drive race cars," he told Chef as he buckled up.

A lone eyebrow rose on Chef's visage. "Oh, really, now?" he asked. "Do these look like race tracks to you, boy? This is a _neighborhood_."

"Right! Right!" Utah exclaimed, inspecting the mirrors. "I know, I just meant, I drive stock cars sometimes, and... never mind."

Utah changed gears out of park, and drove right behind him into the back of a parked car.

**1:23 PM.**

"I didn't _mean_ to put it in reverse!" Utah exclaimed, as he and South Dakota inspected the damage. "Usually on stock cars you switch gears the opposite direction! How was I supposed to know that would put it in reverse?"

"Because it _says R_," North Dakota shouted in his face. "R means _reverse_. Or, in your case, retard."

Blaineley was yelling at a bunch of insurance agents, who had been waiting this entire time in case something happened. Once she finished, she turned to the contestants with a grim face. "Contestants!" she yelled. "Due to the damage the car has incurred, it will unfortunately not be able to be used in this challenge any more. In addition, due to Team Dakota's simply _outstanding performance_, Chef has awarded Utah..."

"Ten points!" he yelled. "For wearin' yo' seat belt."

"Ah. Ten points," Blaineley repeated, as every team but Team Dakota celebrated. "However, there is a bright side to all this!" she continued, interrupting the jubilation. "The insurance company has decided to give us one extra rental car! Because this show happens to have incredibly good insurance. I mean, we weren't going to have fifty underage teenagers partying for six months without some insurance to back it all up. So, it looks like Team America will be doing the challenge after all!"

What used to be joyful celebration in Team America instantly turned to gloom. "Oh, no..." Maryland murmured. "I think we _are_ cursed. We're going to lose this, aren't we?"

"We are _not_ cursed!" Ohio yelled. "We're sticking to the plan. Virginia drives, and we do better than Utah, which shouldn't _really be that much of a challenge_. Alright? Now stop being so pessimistic about everything. Virginia, you're up."

Virginia gulped, and stepped forward towards Blaineley, as a new car pulled up. Chef climbed in the passenger seat, and patted on the driver's seat with a wicked grin. "Go on!" Blaineley urged her. "I wanna get this done before two."

Virginia climbed into the car, strapping herself into the driver's seat. She checked her mirrors. She buckled her seat belt. She even indicated as she pulled out of the parking space, and drove out onto the road.

...

And twenty minutes later, the brand new car arrived with a dent in the hood. Blaineley was fuming.

"_Seriously?_" she screamed as Virginia climbed out of the car to inspect the damage. "I give you kids a _brand new car_ and you _trash it immediately?_"

"To be fair, it was just a stop sign," Virginia remarked, as Chef climbed out. Blaineley rubbed her forehead. "Well?" she asked. "What's the score? I am sick to _death_ of challenges that require a lot of legal documentation afterwards."

Chef scratched his chin, looking around at a desperate Team America. "Ehhh..." he grunted. "I... give... twenty points. For actually makin' it onto the road for a while."

The six from Team America all cheered, clapping their hands and whooping. Blaineley sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Okay... okay, great," she mumbled. "Team Dakota, I'll see you all... in voting. I need to lie down for a while."

**7:00 PM.**

A tired Blaineley looked around at a distraught Team Dakota. A waxing half moon shone high above, as a gentle breeze rustled the green leaves of the New Hampshire trees. Blaineley held a bag of marshmallows in her bag, and didn't seem to be too happy to be there.

"When I call your name, blah-blah-blah, marshmallows. Go to cab, never come back, yadda-yadda-yadda. Even though we _all_ know who's going home tonight."

Everyone looked pointedly at Utah, who was fighting to suppress the tears. Blaineley yawned, and began tossing the fluffed treats. "Colorado, Kansas. North Dakota. Oklahoma. South Dakota. Zero votes for all."

The five who had their names called all caught their marshmallows. Blaineley raised an eyebrow. "This is also the first Team Dakota voting ceremony in which North Dakota has _not_ gotten a vote," Blaineley remarked. "Intriguing. But this just leaves Nebraska and Utah."

Nebraska was incredibly confused. "Wait, me?" he asked. "Why did I get a vote?"

Blaineley smiled mischievously, and shrugged. "I dunno. But you get the last marshmallow. Like that was a surprise. Utah, you got six votes. Pack it up and go home."

Nebraska rounded on Utah, confused. "Utah? What the hell?" he asked accusingly. "Why'd you vote for me?"

Utah glared back at Nebraska. "Because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Utah shrugged in response pointedly. "It means you and Minnesota were planning to do something, but failed. It was _your duty_ to finish what she started."

"Whoa, hold on," Nebraska said nervously, stepping back. "I wasn't a part of that, let's all be civil, here-"

"No. You're letting this team go to the _shits_ because you're too afraid to get everyone to vote for North Dakota. Admit it. Without Minnesota to lead you, you've got no purpose, and are too afraid to even raise a _single hand_ in opposition to this bitch."_  
><em>

Utah jerked a thumb towards North Dakota, who raised an eyebrow. "Utah. Get out of here," she commanded. Utah shrugged. "Whatever. If only I'd gotten into Team Victory. Maybe then I'd actually have an _efficient team_."

"But North Dakota is quite right. You need to go," Blaineley reminded, and tossed a large duffel bag into his arms. "Go on, Utah! Your ride's waiting."

Utah stared out at his team for a moment longer, and then departed. Blaineley smiled widely at the remaining six contestants on Team Dakota. "Well! We've had a good run so far," she told them. "Two months in! How will the next few fare? And who will be voted off next? Find out next time on The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

There was a silence. After a while, Kansas asked, "Um. Are you talking to us?"

Blaineley glared at him as the cameras shut off. "Who do you think you are?" she yelled. "Interrupting me in the middle of an outro. Be grateful I don't kick your sorry ass off this show this instant. Now get back in your buses and shut up until the next challenge."

**9:29 PM.**

The Toronto South Detention Centre. Late evening.

Chris was sobbing in the corner of his cell. He hadn't left it all day. His meals were now delivered to him via a flap in the door. He hadn't even touched the food, instead choosing to cry silently into his mashed potatoes. His orange prison garments were dirty from him lying on the floor all day, even though he had a perfectly good bunk bed. After a while, Chris sat up, bleary eyed. There was a knock on his prison door.

"Go away!" he screamed, chucking his milk carton at the metal. "I'm - I'm _filming!_ Where are my interns? Are they here yet?"

"You dumbass!" a gruff voice yelled. "It's me!"

Chris's eyes flew open. "Wait... it can't be..."

The door was slowly opened, revealing Chef, standing there in his mucky old clothes as usual. He had his arms crossed. "We're bustin' outta here!" he yelled. And instantly, Chris was the happiest man in the world. "Yes!" he cried. "We're breaking out! Ahahahahahahaaa! I knew I could count on you, Chef! I _knew_ you'd come for me!"

"Whatever. You comin' or nah?"

"Will you carry me out?"

Chef crossed his arms in disgust. "I want a raise!" he barked.

"Done. And you're back on the show. Man, we are _busting _out of here!"

As Chef carried Chris out of the cell over his shoulder, he spoke into his walkie-talkie, "I got him, Miss. We gonna be outside in just a few minutes. He ain't thinkin' straight, though."

"_Doesn't matter,_" a female voice responded. "_Chris's bail is paid. You've got him thinking you're breaking him out, yes? __Bring him to the station. We'll have him reeducated soon enough._"

"Uhhh..." Chef muttered into the radio, "Don't mean to be rude or nothin', but... _why_ exactly are we lettin' Chris off on all that stuff he did?"

"_Because these fans are driving me crazy! They won't let us out of the building. And ratings have absolutely plummeted since Agent B was enacted host. I've got no choice but to give everyone what they want: Chris._"

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, and Utah.

**aspiringAnimator** - Short author's note today, because I'm out of time and I'm not sure whether or not you guys actually read these notes or are annoyed by them. One of the chapters was in the wrong order. After I put the table of contents in, for some reason episodes two and three switched places and they stayed like that for a week. It's fixed now, I just wanted to clarify.

Follow, favorite, and review! I'm loving how people are keeping up with the story. If you've actually read this far without skipping anything, well, you are a _true fan_. And don't worry. Things will begin to heat up for everyone in the upcoming episodes. This is the highly-touted ACT 2, after all.


	20. Just Plane Terrible

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 19: JUST PLANE TERRIBLE**

_"The fans don't mean _anything! _They are there to provide _ratings, _and that is _it!" - Blaineley__

**Sunday, September 7th, 2014. Arches National Park, Utah. 6:54 AM.**

Utah.

A state of beauty, of elegance, of wilderness, and of...

Beehives?

No, seriously. Utah is called the "beehive state". Nobody knows why. It is a mystery, and one that could probably never be solved. It is, perhaps, the ultimate riddle.

Five buses, carrying just thirty-two contestants now, slowly made their way through this state of beauty and isolation. A pale September sun peeked over a mountain to the east. Multicolored sand dunes rolled all around them, creating the appearance of a wavy expanse of sand that extended for miles. This was Arches National Park, a chunk of undisturbed land, perfect for hosting the next challenge for The Fifty State Roadtrip.

Most of the contestants were currently asleep, as everyone's sleeping schedules were always ravaged by traveling all over the country every few days. However, in Team America's bus, two young individuals were still awake.

North Carolina and Indiana chatted in the living quarters of their bus, as a warm orange light drifted in through the windows.

"Wow. They made you wear a _uniform_ at your school?"

"Yeah..." North Carolina confirmed, blinking sleepily. "Everyone had to wear them. I'm surprised there are schools that don't make you."

Indiana shook her head slowly, thinking. "I knew a system like that existed, I just thought... it was sort of rare," she admitted. "At my school, they just sort of let us wear what we wanted, as long as it was appropriate."

North Carolina let her head fall back, and groaned. "God. I wish I could just wear what I want during school. I'm kind of relieved that I don't have to go this semester."

"Tell me about it. You think your friends are rooting for you back home?"

North Carolina thought for a moment. "Hmm. I'm not sure," she admitted. "Actually... I'm kind of not _wanting_ to go back home at the moment. I mean, yeah, my sister is there, and my family, but... I didn't want to be famous or anything. I just thought this would be a fun thing to do for a while."

Indiana laughed, and swept her red hair out of her eyes. "Yeah. Because this show has been the most absolutely joyful adventure yet. Especially with this brand new 'host'."

She then tossed a pointed look at the upper corner, where she assumed a hidden camera was located. After all, everyone was being filmed all the time, no matter what, no exceptions.

**7:57 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus. Early morning. As the five buses approached their destination, our faithful contestants had finally begun to rouse from their slumber and do something interesting for once.

Massachusetts was frying eggs on the stove, while Delaware helped with the spices, and Maine set up a chess board. The lone, tiny TV on the bus was tuned into the nearest local news station, which was showing an advertisement for the local fair.

"Breakfast is ready!" Massachusetts called. "Scrambled eggs. If you want some, come and get it."

His teammates began lining up for the food. This was all standard procedure now, ever since Massachusetts began cooking for the team in mid-July. As Delaware stood awaiting with a plate in hand, New Jersey popped up behind her.

"Hey, Delaware," he murmured, grabbing for a styrofoam plate. She inched slightly away, and muttered. "Oh, hi... New Jersey. Did... you need something?"

"Oh, no, no, just... sayin' hey," he responded nervously, as New York surveyed the two with a disapproving stare. New Jersey scooped up some eggs and bacon onto his plate, almost knocking the spoon right out of Delaware's hand. "Oh, sorry, sorry," he quickly stammered. After a long pause, he plucked up the courage, and slowly asked, "Uh, Delaware... I thought you'd want to - er, no - I was wonderin' if you'd... maybe... want... to go out sometime?"

Delaware blinked, and sighed, as though she'd been expecting this for a long time. As the bus grew silent with anticipation, since it was near-impossible not to eavesdrop, Delaware slowly stated, "Um... I'd rather not."

"What? Why? I mean... yeah, that's hella cool - and - and all, but, yo, don't leave me hangin' here-"

"Because I don't really like you that much."

Delaware winced, as though she herself didn't like what she was saying, but that it needed to be said regardless. "You're..." Delaware began, trying to articulate as a few of her teammates left the room in a hurry, "you're... just kind of... too... pushy? And... that might have been okay for some of your friends back home, but... jeez, how do I say this..."

As Massachusetts became the last to leave, carrying his plate of scrambled eggs and taking care not to spill any, he left just New York, Delaware, and New Jersey in the main room. "What Delaware's trying to say, Jersey," New York cut in, looking earnestly into New Jersey's eyes, "is that she'd just prefer to be left alone right now, and... if you really like her, or care for her, or whatever, that you should give her some space."

"...oh."

New Jersey took a few steps back. His plate of scrambled eggs went abandoned on the table. "I... yeah, no, it's... it's cool, bros, I just... yeah..."

He exited in a hurry. New York and Delaware exchanged glances nervously.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_75_mp3**

"Man, I think I blew it. It's over. Any chance of me hookin' up with Delaware are _gone_, yo. I was tryin' to do what New York said! Y'know, bein' courteous an' shit! Sayin' 'please' an' 'thank you' like I'm some Puritan gentleman 'bout to visit his estate in the god damned seventeenth century. Ughhh... man, I don't _need_ any of this right now..."

New Jersey

**8:22 AM.**

Team Dakota's bus. Her team had awoken at eight AM, like they always do, and were currently seated around the tiny kitchen table and eating. North Dakota sat rigidly next to her sister on the couch, and was smirking at the iPod Touch in her hands.

"_Minnesota? Why exactly do you have a phone in your pocket?_"

"_Yeah, Minnesota! Don't you know you're not supposed to have phones on this show?_"

"_I - what - how did this even get here - this isn't mine!_"

"_This isn't your phone?_"

"_Well - I mean, it is - but I gave it back, I swear - wait-_"

"_Sorry, Minnesota! You are disqualified! Head to the cab of losers right over there-_"

"_THAT BITCH!_"

North Dakota burst out laughing at the last part, and paused the video. "Ohhh, I was in my best form then, sis," she mused, giggling at Minnesota's previous fate. "Best voting ceremony yet. Serves her right, too."

South Dakota, on the other hand, looked a little less enthusiastic about taunting people from her team, regardless of whether or not they were still on the show. "Hey... North?" she quietly muttered. "I... I don't think it's so good to make fun of people like that..."

"No, no, watch this part, South," North Dakota assured her sister, and scrolled to a new part of the video.

"_Into the taxi you go!_"

"_SHE CHEATED! Everyone! Remember what I said! She will take you down without hesitation! I-_"_  
><em>

"_Bye! Have a fun ride back home! Alright, kids, we gotta be in Minnesota by this weekend. Who wants to play 'evade my network producers and become heroes'? I do!_"

North Dakota was giggling uncontrollably at the old footage, as Oklahoma and Colorado stood to empty their trash and leave. Nobody spoke but North and South Dakota. It was usually forbidden, and by this point everyone was too timid and obedient to argue otherwise.

**9:09 AM.**

Team Touchdown's own bus slowly rolled along the highways of Utah, following directly behind Team Democracy's. Huge, puffy clouds lined the horizon, which was dotted with rocky mountains all around.

Texas and Alabama were somewhere in the back of the bus, probably playing cards as they claimed. Most of the girls were watching the CampTV reality show "Big Sister" in the living quarters. Arkansas was reading a newspaper.

"Isn't this show kind of stupid?" Louisiana suddenly pointed out, frowning at the tiny screen. "Like, this ain't reality TV. All they doin' is livin' with each other. It ain't like they have to travel all over the country."

"I know, right?" Mississippi agreed, inspecting her nails. "This show is _waaay_ better than that one."

Nods were exchanged all among the girls of the bus. There was a rather long pause, which was only broken by Tennessee minutes later.

"Um... hey, y'all, is it just me, or... are Bama and Tex gettin' kind of... I dunno... aggressive?"

The girls exchanged nervous glances. Georgia slunk deeper into her seat. "Like," Tennessee explained clumsily, "The way they've... I guess... taken leadership as somethin' they _have_ to have, know what I mean? And who says they even get to make all the decisions anyway? Is it just 'cause they're guys? Why can't some of us girls-"

"Um, Tennessee," Mississippi hastily muttered, "Maybe it's not such a good idea to be thinkin' some of those things-"

"Why not? We're a _team_. That means we work together for everyone's benefit! Arkansas, you agree, right?"

Arkansas suddenly looked up from the newspaper, glancing around nervously. "Huh?" was all he uttered.

"You agree that we shouldn't all be led by just Bama and Tex, right?"

Arkansas glanced awkwardly between Mississippi and Tennessee. Louisiana just rolled her eyes and redirected her attention back to the show. "Uh..." Arkansas mumbled, "I dunno. They're okay guys, I guess... they're sometimes funny, and good to be around."

Tennessee rolled her eyes, and sighed, as Arkansas just went back to reading his newspaper.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_76_mp3**

"I ain't tryin' to start some sort of rebellion here. Alright? I don't wanna pull a Florida and cause a big stink 'bout all this. Now, I like Bama and Tex. They're real cool dudes. But they need to give some of the girls a chance to do somethin' for our team! They can't be the stars of the show all the time."

Tennessee

**9:42 AM.**

"Gooood _morning_, everyone!" Blaineley squealed as thirty-two contestants carefully climbed out of the five buses in the middle of the desert expanse of Utah. A warm sun blasted everyone as a greeting; even though it was now September, there was no saying goodbye to the heat just yet.

New Mexico stretched as he climbed out of Team Victory's bus, his iconic shades glinting a reflected sunlight. "What are we doin' today?" he asked, yawning. Blaineley smiled widely in response. "We're flying planes!" she announced, gesturing spastically to a long, flat expanse of dusty pavement not far away, that vaguely resembled a runway.

Just about everyone looked absolutely _terrified_ at the instant she said that. Blaineley pushed on, "Although... I... _haven't_ been getting any calls from my network's producers, nor will they answer my messages on what challenge we _were_ supposed to do today, I've decided to whip something up myself! So, behold! The Grand County board of public tourism has allowed the rent of five small, single propeller planes for use on our show today. And one person from each of your teams is going to be flying them. It'll be a _race!_ And don't worry. All of the pilots will have headsets, for use in contacting each other while in the air! Neat, huh?"

Nervous glances were exchanged between the contestants. Blaineley couldn't really be serious, could she? Now, more than ever, everyone was severely wishing Chris was back. But in reality, Chris would probably be doing the same sadistic shit to them regardless, but in a more amusing and friendly manner.

**9:47 AM.**

"Okay, guys," a grim-faced Washington muttered, approaching the five members of his team. "As much as I hate this, we've got to pick a person from our team to fly one of these planes. Now, before we go any further, do _any_ of you happen to have _any_ flying experience whatsoever?"

Hawaii raised his hand, to the surprise of just about everyone. "Yo, I do," he said nonchalantly. "Well, I mean, sort of. My uncle runs a tourist trap back home, and takes people on all these tours of Hawaii by plane. I've done the flying a few times."

Washington breathed a huge sigh of relief, as all the members of Team Victory whooped and cheered. "Fantastic, then!" Washington exclaimed, a huge smile on his visage. "We'll do that, then, if you don't mind."

Hawaii shrugged, a small grin on his face. "No biggie. It's good to get some practice, anyways."

**9:51 AM.**

Ohio held six straws in his hand. They were cut at different lengths, but were positioned in his grip in a way that made it impossible to tell how long each were. He looked seriously at each of his teammates: Virginia, Indiana, North Carolina, Maryland, and Illinois. "Everyone take a straw," he muttered. "The person with the shortest straw... has to fly for us. Since evidently nobody here actually knows how."

As Maryland grabbed one, she exclaimed, "_Nobody_ on this show knows how! This is a suicide challenge. But we've got to do it anyways, so..."

Each contestant took a straw. Ohio kept the one nobody picked, and then everyone inspected their straws.

Virginia was fortunate enough to have the longest, but North Carolina had picked the shortest straw. She groaned, and covered her eyes with her hands. "Why me?" she whispered. "I don't know how to fly!"

"It's simple," Indiana comforted. "Or, at least, it's simple for a death machine with a whirling blade that lets it _fly_. It's like driving a car, except one without wheels, and it can fly, and there's no normal steering wheel, and you have to land it, and... wow, I'm not explaining this well, am I?"

North Carolina shook her head, looking outright terrified now. "Look," Ohio stated, "just do your best and try not to die. Alright? If we're lucky, someone will crash before the challenge even ends. And I can bet you that won't be us."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_77_mp3**

"I really hope that what Ohio says is true and that we're not cursed. But, hell, we keep losin' challenges! Sometimes people tell me I'm a bit too, uh, what's the word... super... superstitious? But how can you say that we're _not_ cursed? I mean, just look at what happened _this_ challenge! We're not even sure if North Carolina's gonna ever be able to walk again."

Virginia

**9:54 AM.**

"Everyone in your planes!" Blaineley cheered, waving her hands around a lot unnecessarily. Team America and Team Victory's contestants were North Carolina and Hawaii, respectively. From Team Democracy, Maine would be flying. North Dakota would, of course be representing Team Dakota, and Texas was going to fly for Team Touchdown. "Your objective is the great stone spire about a mile from here to the north! Loop around that, and come back here! First team to successfully land wins! If any planes crash... then that team's going to the voting ceremony."

The camera crews got into place, as one person from each team nervously climbed into a plane. With a turn of the key and a flick of the wrist, each plane started up, single propellers on the front now spinning wildly. Blaineley grinned at the spectacle, as though she were about to witness a grand fireworks display. "When I count to three, take off, and head north!" she shouted over the din. "One! Two..."

"Three!"

Slowly, each of the five planes began to move, gaining speed along the runway remarkably quickly. Hawaii's plane began to lift into the air miraculously; and one by one, each plane slowly rose up off the ground.

"Um, hey... Blaineley?" Washington suddenly said, tugging on the host's shirt. She looked down at him, snarling, "What? What's your deal?"

"Uh... is it _legal_ to have five planes flying that close together, when none of the pilots have their licenses?"

...

Blaineley smiled pseudo-sweetly, and patted Washington on the head. "You are just so _cute!_" was the only response she gave him.

**10:01 AM.**

"Radio check, one, two, three!" Texas yelled into his microphone as his plane soared over the desert expanse of Arches National Park. "Come in. Do y'all have your headsets on yet?"

"_I have mine on!_" Maine's voice yelled into his ear. "_Same_," North Carolina nervously notified. "_Copy that. Team Victory is here too,_" Hawaii stated. And seconds later, North Dakota muttered, "_Yeah. I'm here. But don't expect me to be friendly with you guys_."_  
><em>

"I ain't sayin' that!" Texas yelled into his headset, glancing to the left outside his window. About a hundred feet away, North Dakota's plane precariously flew. "But like it or not, we're gonna have to work together to do this challenge. Alright? Now, let's just state the obvious, and know that _if we crash_, we're probably gonna die. So let's make sure that _none_ of us crash. I'm serious, y'all. No tricks, alright, North Dakota? I know you looove all them tricks."

"_Yeah. I've got all kinds of magic tricks. Like making you disappear right off the show._"_  
><em>

"Real funny. We only gotta do this for a little bit, an' then we land, and we'll all be fine. Look sharp, now. There's one of them arches up ahead. Do we gotta fly through these?"

"_Yes, yes you do!_" Blaineley's voice erupted into Texas's ears. "_Everyone has to fly through the arches! There's only one on the route to the spire, though, so make it count!_"

The sound of North Carolina groaning could be heard through the headset. Texas frowned. "You alright?" he yelled. "Who was that?"

"_Me_," North Carolina whined. "_Sorry. I'm just terrified out of my wits right now._"

"_You're not alone, then__,_" Maine reassured her. "_The only 'flying experience' I ever got was playing Kirby Air Ride with my little brother on the Gamecube._"

The arch was approaching. "_Watch your wings, everyone!_" Hawaii reminded. "_Don't let them clip the edges of the arch. Just keep it all steady._"

"_God, I hate inter-team teamwork..._" North Dakota lamented, as if nobody could hear her quietly mutter that.

Slowly, Texas pushed down on his controls - the plane began to descend toward the naturally-created arch - and just like that, he sped right through, ending up ahead of the others. Behind him, the other teams' planes miraculously made it through the arch.

"_Ohhh, oh my god, oh my god..._" North Carolina mumbled to herself. "_Ohhh-kay. Okay, I did it, I'm not dead, yes..._"

A small chuckle was heard from Hawaii. "_You alright?_" he asked. "_Try not to let the flying overwhelm you. We're already almost halfway there._"

True to his word, a tall stone spire could be seen not far in the distance. "We've just gotta loop around that, and then fly back to the strip!" Texas proclaimed, concentrating on not jittering his controls too much. "The hard part's gonna be landin', y'all. Everyone just take it easy."

One by one, the five planes swooped around the tall obelisk. As they carefully steadied out once that was over, Hawaii had overtaken Texas. North Dakota was in last, surprisingly, just behind North Carolina.

"Keep 'er steady!" Texas yelled. "We're halfway there. It's time to fly back to the runway and land. Make sure to watch out for that arch. We gotta go through it again, don't we?"

"_That's correct!_" Blaineley shouted into his eardrums. "_And remember, last team to land wins!_"

"Right, right, got it..." Texas muttered, glancing at Hawaii up ahead of him. "Y'all, the arch is comin' up, we might wanna get into place-"

"_North Dakota is getting too close to me!_" North Carolina cried, panicked. "_Back off! I won't be able to make it through the arch if you're this close!_"

"_Hey! North Dakota, play fair, stay away from North Carolina!_" Hawaii could be heard yelling. "_North Dakota. Come in. Do you copy? I know you can hear me._"

The arch was approaching rather quickly now. Texas glanced behind him out the window; North Dakota's plane was certainly closing in on North Carolina's. "What are y'all doin' back there?" Texas asked into his head piece. There was no response from North Dakota, only nervous squealing from North Carolina. Up ahead, Hawaii soared through the arch - next came Texas - Maine - and then-

BOOM. North Carolina's plane's wing clipped a leg of the arch. With one of her wings gone, her single propeller plane began soaring down, spinning wildly out of control-

"_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-_"

"Shit! North Carolina's down!" Texas yelled into his headset. A gasp was heard, and then an "_Oh my god!_" from Maine. A few seconds later, a second boom could be heard, this one louder, and more crushing. There were now only four planes in the sky. "_NORTH DAKOTA! COME IN. DO YOU READ?_" Hawaii screamed, as the runway neared. With a twitch of his controls, Texas steadily landed right after Hawaii. Maine came in third, and North Dakota was now in fourth.

As Texas unbuckled his seatbelt, Blaineley came sprinting up, waving her hands as usual and looking positively outraged. "What the _fuck_ just happened?" she screamed, throwing a clipboard down on the ground. "Where's Team America's contestant?" she asked. "What _happened?_"

"She _crashed!_" Hawaii screamed, pointing at North Dakota. "North Dakota _killed her!_"_  
><em>

"Oh my god. No. This isn't happening," Maine sobbed, as North Dakota herself countered, "I didn't - what? Me? You're mistaken. She was a bad pilot."

Blaineley had her head in her hands, thinking for a moment, as the rest of the contestants began sprinting up. "Where's North Carolina?" Indiana yelled, looking mortified. "What happened?"

"North Dakota killed her!" Hawaii screamed again.

"Hang on, y'all, we don't know if she's dead or not," Texas reminded them all.

"Then - oh, my god - _has nobody called an ambulance yet? _Jesus _CHRIST!_ This isn't a cartoon! She might be _dying!_"

Now even North Dakota looked worried. "None of us have phones anymore, though," she quietly whispered, no longer as loud and commanding as she once was.

"Then we use Blaineley's phone. Blaineley. Stop being so pathetic and let us use your phone," Indiana stated determinedly, hand outstretched. Blaineley looked up slowly, eyes wide. "Huh?" was all she uttered, and Indiana flew into a rage.

"YOU. ARE. SUPPOSED. TO. BE. THE. _ADULT_," Indiana seethed. "But since you're too busy being a crybaby, that responsibility's fallen upon us. Now let us use your phone to actually do something about this. Since _someone_ decided, 'oh, wow, it'd be an absolutely _fantastic_ idea to take away all electronics from contestants!'"_  
><em>

"No... no, yeah, use my phone," Blaineley whispered, looking terrified at what was going on, and "powerless" to do anything about it. Indiana grabbed it, and dialed for an ambulance, as the rest of Team America sprinted off north to find North Carolina's crashed plane.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_78_mp3**

"Okay. Here goes. I'm... sorry about what I did. Really, I am. I did _not_ mean for it to go like that. I just... kind of... wanted... North Carolina to, like, have to fly away from me, and pull back! I didn't think she would be an idiot about it and fly straight into the arch. But... yeah... I feel awful about it now. I just didn't want to lose another damned challenge."

North Dakota

**10:53 AM.**

About half an hour had passed. More than thirty contestants from varying teams were all sitting around, eating pizza from about a dozen boxes. As Oregon bit into a slice next to him, Massachusetts commented, "Funny. It takes almost an hour for an ambulance to arrive, and half an hour for _pizza_ to arrive."

"Well, we are pretty much in the middle of nowhere," Washington added. "Nearest big hospital's not for a hundred miles. But yeah, this is getting ridiculous. At least the park has a decent Domino's."

Oregon nodded rapidly to that, as Blaineley strode around, biting her fingernails. A few feet away, North Carolina laid on a mattress taken from her own bunk. She was still unconscious, though had briefly woken up about ten minutes earlier, in which she threw a pebble at North Dakota's foot, laughed, and then fell unconscious once more.

Ohio was looking annoyed at all this. "I can't believe this," he had repeatedly stated over the past hour. "Now one of my teammates isn't as useful anymore." Whenever Indiana heard this, she chucked an empty pizza box at him.

But finally, at almost eleven AM, distant sirens could be heard. "Finally..." Hawaii muttered, who had witnessed North Carolina's catastrophe first-hand. And, sure enough, the ambulance showed up, and two bored-looking paramedics hopped out.

"We'll take 'er, ma'am," one said, and unfolded a yellow and white gurney. They both lifted North Carolina's unconscious body onto it, and rolled it into the ambulance. "What's her name?" one of the paramedics finally asked. "Y'know, so we can get back with you guys 'bout it."

"Oh... what?" Blaineley said, still somewhat dazed. "Oh. North Carolina."

The paramedic scoffed. "Yeah. Right. And my name is Ireland. Seriously. What's the girl's real name?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Blaineley yelled, waving her arms around as her hair only got messier and messier. "Her name is North Carolina! Write that down!"

His eyebrows rose, but the paramedic finally consented, scribbling on his clipboard rapidly. "Right. We'll be in touch," he informed her. "Miss... 'Mildred Stacey Andrews O'Halloran-'"

"Yes! Great! Thank you!" Blaineley quickly yelled, waving the paramedics away. "That's barely my name! But go on. You have ambulancing to do."

As the ambulance drove away, carrying North Carolina, Blaineley sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Listen, kids," she said to everyone, "I've tried over and over again to tell the producers what's happened, but either they're ignoring me, or I can't get any phone service out in this wasteland. I am utterly exhausted. How about we all call it a day?"

At least this could be agreed on by everyone. Blaineley waved a weary hand, and shouted, "Into the buses, everyone! And yes, Team America, you still have to go through with the voting ceremony. Best get to it."

**6:54**

A September sun dipped below the horizon, letting its gold hues evaporate over all the land, giving way to the stars. Team America's bus sat all alone in the middle of a convenience store parking lot in a small town near the national park. Five teenagers all sat around Blaineley.

"Come on... she should be here any minute," Blaineley whined, checking her watch. But, lo and behold, an ambulance finally pulled up, letting out its occupant: North Carolina. She was in a full body cast, and being rolled around in a wheelchair. "Oh, finally," Blaineley sighed. "Wheel her over here for the voting. Is she stupid or something now? Can she still communicate with us?"

"Yes, I can," North Carolina seethed, scowling at Blaineley. "But do go on. I am absolutely exploding with excitement for this voting ceremony."

"Well, great!" Blaineley said, now smiling again. "Viewers, we are now going to begin tonight's voting ceremony! Team America will be the _first team ever_ to be taken down to only five contestants! The votes are in. It's now time to find out... who will be going."

She held a bag of marshmallows in her hand. She smiled widely, as a voice cried out, "_You're_ the one who'll be going, Blaineley!"

Blaineley looked annoyed. "Who said that?" she yelled. "Is that...?"

None other than _Chris_ emerged from the shadows, Chef by his side. He was wearing a brand new pair of shades, and smiling brilliantly. "Who wants _snacks?_" he asked. He spotted the bag of marshmallows in Blaineley's hand. "Are those marshmallows?" he suddenly asked. "Get those out of here."

"I - _what_ - CHRIS, how did you get here?" Blaineley shouted, taking a few steps back. "You're supposed to be in jail!"

"And you're supposed to be planning the next Aftermath show!" Chris said, smiling bemusedly as the contestants of Team America realized what was going on. "Tut tut, Blaineley. What are you doing on the set of my show? This is no place for someone of your... girth? Let's go with girth."

"You're - _you're insane!_ Chef! Chef, do your job and arrest this man!"

"I am doin' my job!" he yelled, arms crossed and smirking slightly. "And that's bein' back on this show and doin' _Chef Things_. An' you gonna have to go."

Blaineley was now panicking. She raised her microphone over her head, and seemingly out of Chris's reach. "You can't make me!" she cried. "This is _my show now!_ Your producers - I mean, _my producers_ said so! They told me I would _take your job! _You almost killed a few contestants almost a month ago from some major explosives!"

"Ahem. Correction? Minor explosives," Chris stated as-a-matter-of-factly, grinning at Blaineley's predicament. "And if the current video logs are to be correct, _you_ almost killed a contestant _just today_ by enacting an _unauthorized challenge!_ I'm sorry, Blaineley, but the fans have _spoken_. And they have chosen Chris McLean as their master."

"The fans don't mean _anything!_" Blaineley screeched, hand in her hair, and raising her microphone higher. "They are there to provide _ratings, _and that is _it!_ They are ungrateful little teenagers who have the pure _laziness_ to watch this garbage!"

"Ahem. Blaineley? You're on camera right now. Those 'ungrateful little teenagers' can hear you."

"I. Don't. _Care!_" she screamed. "You can't make me leave! I don't care what any of you say! This is _my show!_ All the contestants love me!"

Indiana scoffed at that, and crossed her arms, annoyed. "Yeah. Speak for yourself. I'm pretty sure _not everyone's_ a _huge fan_ of you, Blaineley."

Blaineley gave Indiana the finger, right when Chef scooped up the old host. "Hey!" she yelled, slamming her fists on the man's muscular arms. "Put me down! That is an _order!_"

"Take her away, Chef!" Chris yelled, with a wave of his hand and a grin on his face. He then faced the six members of Team America. "Wow. Down to six, huh?" he asked. "I leave you kids for just a _few weeks_... right, let's have a look here... ah, no surprise. When I call your name, you get a SNACK. Not a marshmallow. Seriously. What was she thinking? Snacks are the coolest."

Illinois began clapping his hands at that, but was quickly shushed by Ohio. As the screams and yells of Blaineley receded into the distance, Chris finally began, happy to once more be the host of The Fifty State Roadtrip. "Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, and Virginia!" he yelled, tossing candy to each of them. "Zero votes for the lot of ya. Seems like everyone picked two people to vote for tonight. Ohio... and North Carolina."

All gazes drifted towards North Carolina, who grunted in annoyance, stuck in her stiff, full body cast. Chris raised his eyebrows. "Looks like this team's gone terrible," he muttered. "Seriously, I liked this team at the start. You guys didn't lose a challenge until, like, eight challenges in! What happened? Well, whatever. The final snack goes to...

...

...

...

"Ohio!"

Ohio grabbed at a sailing bag of gummy worms gratefully. Chris looked at him seriously, and said, "Two votes, Ohio. Looks like North Carolina wasn't the only one who voted for you. But my lips are sealed. Sorry, North Carolina, it looks like your team just doesn't see you as useful anymore!"

"Whatever," North Carolina mumbled, looking just a little crestfallen. "Just take me towards the taxi so I can leave."

Indiana decided to take up this honor, standing to be the one to push North Carolina to her cab. Indiana seemed somewhat depressed.

Chris, frowning slightly at the spectacle, now turned to face the cameras. "So! It looks like I'm back on the show," he stated again, smiling genuinely. "It's great to be back. Heh. Another contestant down from Team America! Could it be the result of this 'curse' I've heard about? And will... well, okay, I don't actually have anything else to say. It's been a while! Catch me and The Fifty State Roadtrip on Wednesdays and weekends this fall on CampTV! Annnd... we good?" Chris gave a thumbs up to the camera men. "Alright. We're good."

Unlikely Blaineley, Chris just kept on smiling after the cameras stopped rolling. He was born for television. "So! Kids. I'm glad to be back," he greeted. "Hope you guys are ready for some _actually_ good challenges, because I've got something... _special_ in mind for the next one. But you'll just have to wait! Because we've gotta be in North Carolina by Wednesday, and we're half a continent away. Into the buses we go!"

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, and North Carolina.

**aspiringAnimator** - Chris is back! YES! No more having to manually remember that there are two E's in the word "Blaineley". She was a really fun character, though! And she still hosts the Aftermaths, don't worry.

And just to clear something up about North Carolina and Indiana. While Indiana is, in fact, gay, North Carolina isn't. Indiana _might_ have had a thing for North Carolina, but it looks like that will never be fully realized, since North Carolina's gonna be spending the next few weeks in a hospital. Sorry. I'm really bad at writing lesbian romance, but at least it seems I kind of succeeded, at least according to one reviewer a little earlier. And no. That was not the LGBT couple of the season.

Favorite, follow, and review! My heart goes a-flutter when you guys do that. I check my email, and whoa! It looks like someone reviewed my story. "Yes," I think to myself. "That is the best. I love that." That is my exact thought process.


	21. The Douche is Back

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, Ohio, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 20: THE DOUCHE IS BACK**

_"This is where I belong." - Ohio_

**Monday, September 8th, 2014. Fort Scott, Kansas. 2:09 PM.**

Five buses sped towards east, towards North Carolina. Back-and-forth, they'd gone all over the United States for the past two months now, from the hot July sun of Missouri, to the late August breezes of Florida, and now to the cool, windy mornings of September in North Carolina.

Although the actual challenge day wasn't for a few more days. Currently, the buses were roaring through Kansas on their journey east. In Team Victory's bus, it was business as usual, since it was a regular, no-challenge day. Most contestants were hanging out in their bunk rooms, but Washington was reading the Sunday newspaper, while Oregon was playing with a Rubik's cube he'd picked up at the store a week ago. Minutes earlier, California had appeared, desperately looking for her lipstick, but when it was discovered that neither Oregon nor Washington had taken it, she ran back to her bunk room.

"Hey, Oregon," Washington suddenly asked, not taking his eyes off the newspaper. "Hm?" Oregon responded, setting down his completely unsolved Rubik's cube for just a moment.

"What _was_ it you were about to tell me?" Washington murmured. Oregon looked confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"The night I came out to you. You know."

"Oh..." Oregon quietly said. "Well, it doesn't really-"

"_Kids, we're taking a quick rest stop up ahead!_" a familiar voice yelled over the intercom. "_We're almost in Missouri, so we're stopping at the state line. This is Chris: out!_"

Arizona peeked her head out of her bunk room. "What was that?" she asked. "Did Blaineley say something over the radio?"

Washington was just staring at the radio, as Oregon sputtered, "No - no, that was - that was Chris! Oh my gawd, how'd he-"

"_Everyone settle down!_" Chris screamed over the radio. "_Yes, Team Touchdown, that means you! Put the furniture down. Yes, yes, it's a big celebration. I, the famous Chris McLean and ORIGINAL host of The Fifty State Roadtrip, have replaced Blaineley. Finally. Sorry if I didn't get around to notifying most of you guys. But that's right. The douche is back, baby._"

New Mexico popped out of his bunk room and into the living quarters, pumping his fist into the air. "Yeaaah!" he shouted, sunglasses slightly askew. "I heard the news! Chris is _back!_"

He then swooped up Arizona for a quick kiss, who was giggling incessantly. Washington raised his eyebrows, and returned his gaze towards the paper.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_79_mp3**

"YES! Chris is _back!_ Woohoo! No more stupid Blaineley and her self-absorbed fakeness. Man, I missed Chris. He's the coolest."

New Mexico

**Wednesday, September 10th, 2014. Raleigh, North Carolina. 11:21 AM.**

The five buses now finally pulled up to a stop in the suburbs of Raleigh. A high noon sun dominated the tree-lined sky. In the distance, the tall buildings of downtown Raleigh stood ominous and foreboding. The buses were stopped right in the parking lot of what appeared to be a large elementary school. A sizely sign that sat above its double doors read "Washington Elementary School". As the thirty-one contestants climbed out of the buses, Chris stepped back, arms wide, and did a bow. Chef, who stood next to Chris, rolled his eyes. A few people clapped for Chris, and didn't even mean it as a joke.

"Hello again, kids!" he announced, smiling widely to see his old contestants again. "It's been about half a month since I hosted! But enough about me. Let's see who we're missing."

Chris surveyed the contestants carefully. "Alright..." he muttered. "Looks like... we're missing Michigan... North Carolina... maybe Kentucky? Probably a few others... wow, Team America really went down the drain..."

Connecticut suddenly raised his hand, and immediately asked, "What's today's challenge? Why are we at a school?"

Initially, Chris seemed annoyed at Connecticut's intrusion, but answered nonetheless, "No, we're not going to school. In fact, today's challenge has nothing to do with schools. The tourism board of Raleigh was kind enough to provide us with this school's gym today for the purpose of our challenge. Tell me, how many of you kids know what the game _mafia_ is?"

Eyes went wide. About a third of everyone raised their hands. Chris grinned mischievously, and clapped his hands together with relish. "Fantastic!" he yelled, eyeing them all. "That... is the basics of today's challenge. Let Chef, my newest, old-time assistant, tell you the rules."

"The rules here are simple!" Chef barked, striding back and forth like a military sergeant. "Each o' yo' teams picks three people to represent y'all. That makes fifteen total. All o' them go in the gym, and play mafia."

"But what _is_ mafia?" Ohio asked keenly, trying not to be left out of the rules for this game. Chef wrinkled his nose at the interjection. "Fifteen young post-pubescent boys an' girls go in that gym!" he yelled, looking annoyed at having to explain all this. "_Three_ o' them are mafia. Them three have the power to kill one person a 'night'. In the 'days', everybody has to vote on someone to hang. Three of the townspeople are investigators. They got the 'bility to find out at night if someone's a mafia, but only one a night. Everybody understand?"_  
><em>

Most people were looking confused. Some appeared excited. Chris frowned this time, and explained further, "The goal of the three mafia members is to kill all townspeople but themselves! The goal of the nine townspeople is to hang all the mafia members, although nobody knows who the mafia members are. And the goal of the three investigators is to find all the mafia members. Everybody understand now?"

Shrugs went around. Chris smiled brightly, and declared, "Everybody pick three people to represent your team! These three will go into the gymnasium and play mafia. Oh! To win this challenge, contestants, you must have at least one of your teammates survive throughout the game! Which means, yes, this has the potential for multiple people to go to the voting ceremony tonight. As if that ever happens. Now pick your representatives! I'll be waiting right here."

Immediately, before any of the other teams did anything, North Dakota announced to her team, "Obviously, South Dakota and I are going in there. But we need one more person. Any takers?"

Hesitation took hold over Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Nobody wanted to speak. North Dakota rolled her eyes, and pointed at Oklahoma. "Let's make it a team of three girls," she said. "Don't screw this up, Oklahoma."

"Y-yes, I - I mean, of course not, Glorious... Leader..."

And just like that, before any of the other teams could begin to discuss who was going in, Team Dakota had already picked their contestants. As Ohio eyed them, he announced to his own team, "Well, all of us know _I'm_ going in there, but I need two people with m-"

"Who says _you_ get to go in?" Maryland suddenly interjected. "What if all of us want to do it?" To that, Ohio scowled in annoyance at Maryland's insubordination. "Because," he explained slowly, "I'm the best bet for our team. I'll actually get us through this challenge. But I need two more people. Virginia, you wanna come with me?"

Virginia sighed. "Looks like I don't got much choice," she murmured. Ohio looked a little taken aback, but surveyed the rest of his team nonetheless. Indiana raised a bored hand, and asked, "Can I go? I'd like to get my elimination over with as soon as possible."

"With me as our leader, trust me, we won't lose this challenge," Ohio responded, grinning slightly. "And before you guys say anything, no, we are _not_ cursed. So, we've got me, Virginia, and Indiana representing Team America. I've got a good feeling about this challenge."

After twenty more minutes, the three representatives from each team had all been chosen. Washington, Oregon, and Arizona from Team Victory; New York, Massachusetts, and Maine from Team Democracy; Louisiana, Texas, and Arkansas from Team Touchdown. Chris beckoned toward the brightly-lit gym, giving a card to each contestant as they passed. "Your card will either say 'Investigator', 'Townsperson', or 'Mafia'!" he informed them. "That determines your role. Let's get this moving, people! I'm sure the fans who haven't played mafia are all confused as to how this works."

**DAY 1.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Arizona, Arkansas, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

The fifteen contestants filed into the gym. It was wide and spacious. Fifteen metal chairs were in the center of the basketball court. "So how does this work, again?" Oklahoma asked, as she took a seat beside South Dakota. "Like, are we _roleplaying_, or what?"

"Something like that!" Chris said, smiling, as everyone took their seats. "During the days, citizens vote on someone to hang, but since no crimes have been committed yet... we'll just have to wait for nightfall."

Texas groaned. "Chris, come _on!_" he whined. "That's gonna be _hours_ from now! Y'all, I ain't sittin' here in a circle playin' _musical chairs_ waitin' for it to get dark outside-"

"Not _literal_ nightfall!" Chris snapped. "I guess I should've been clearer. No, daytime lasts for about two minutes. Then we turn out the lights, and close the blinds over the windows. Everyone closes their eyes. And trust me. We have cameras to tell if you're peeking."

That shut Texas up pretty quickly. "Well, this should be pretty fun!" Oregon exclaimed, smiling at everyone. "It's a lot of fun to get to meet a lot of the other teams!"

Not everyone seemed as excited as Oregon was. "Yeah..." New York murmured. "Sure. Chris, this is a _psychological_ game, right? As in, you have to figure out who among us is mafia?"

"That is correct, New York!" Chris confirmed. "Now, I'm going up to the commentator's box to keep an eye on everything. I'll say anything that needs to be said through the loudspeakers. When it's nighttime, the lights will turn off, and everyone will close their eyes! Sound good?"

Nods went around. This was pretty exciting so far. "So, one of us gets _murdered_ every night?" Louisiana asked, slightly wary about all this. "It's like we're detectives!"_  
><em>

"_Only three of you are the actual detectives!_" Chris reminded. "_So... there's that. Alright, kids, lights out!_"

The huge overhanging lights all clicked off. South Dakota squealed at the unexpected change, as everyone covered their eyes patiently.

"_Mafia, please open your eyes! Acknowledge your teammates._"

...

"_Point at the person you want to kill!_"

...

"_It has to be a unanimous vote. Pick only one person._"

...

"_One of you is pointing at your fellow mafia-member. Stop that._"_  
><em>

...

"_Thank you, mafia. Please close your eyes. Investigators! Open your eyes.__ Acknowledge your teammates._"_  
><em>

...

"_Point at the person that you think might be mafia. It has to be a - a unanimous vote! Stop picking different people._"

...

"_Investigators, that person is not a mafia. Please close your eyes now, investigators._"

...

"_Everyone open your eyes!_"

**DAY 2.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Arizona, Arkansas, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

Bright lights flooded the gym. There was a lot of squinting around. The chair next to South Dakota was empty.

"_Oklahoma was brutally murdered last night!_" Chris announced. You could practically hear him grinning with amused malice up in the commentator's box. "_She was not an investigator. Everyone, you have two minutes to debate, after which we will have the lynching ceremony!_"

Everyone was just staring at the empty chair. "Wow, she got murdered?" Massachusetts mused thoughtfully. "Okay, so this is like - this is like Clue. The board game."

There was a brief silence. "Okay, guys," New York eventually said, looking around at the apprehensive faces around. "Everyone forget about team boundaries. In this challenge, obviously it's townspeople versus mafia. There are... let's see... one, two... eleven townspeople, and three mafias. Do... the investigators have any info to share with us?"

"Nope," Arkansas sadly said, looking down at his feet. There was a dead silence seconds later. Everyone stared at him as his eyes went as wide as dinner plates, figuratively. "What? What is it?" he asked.

"I... don't think you were supposed to tell us you're an investigator," Ohio slowly informed him. "That makes you a target."

"Oh. Crap."

"So who are the other investigators?" Virginia eagerly asked. Everyone else seemed pretty eager to know, too.

"Uh. I don't think I should tell you, for their own safety-"

"It'll be fine!" Virginia assured him. "It's best that we're all open with each other 'bout all this. If we know who the investigators are, we'll have a better chance of winnin' as the townspeople!"

"I don't think it works that way," Washington muttered quietly. "Other investigators, you guys should probably keep quiet. We wouldn't want the mafia to know exactly who the investigators are-"

"_Time is up!_" Chris announced. "_Are there any votes yet?_"

Nobody did anything but anxiously stare at everyone else in the circle, and occasionally at Oklahoma's empty chair. North Dakota was just smirking at them all.

"_No votes?_" Chris asked over the intercom, clearly confused. "_Well. Alright, then. Lights out! It's time for the second night._"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_80_mp3**

"Alright. To be honest, I thought I had all of those chumps. Psychological games are what I excel at. And nobody was even taking that game seriously. Any time a contestant died, we all just started blabbering about how great a person they were, even though they weren't _actually_ dead."

North Dakota

**DAY 3.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Arizona, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

The lights were turned on again, after the second night, in which the mafias spent at least fifty full seconds deciding who to murder. Once they decided, and the investigators once again didn't find any mafia members, the lights were turned back on.

There were two empty chairs now. Everyone wildly looked around to figure out who was missing, right up until Chris spoiled it by yelling, "_Arkansas was killed last night! He was an investigator!__ You all have two minutes to debate!_"

"No!" Louisiana yelled, panic-stricken. "We lost our investigator!"

"To be fair, he had it comin'," Texas said thoughtfully. Maine frowned at all this, and quietly muttered, "Aw. I liked that guy. He seemed nice."

Massachusetts nodded, thinking. "Yeah. Arkansas was cool. I wish he hadn't died."

"Yeah..." Indiana muttered, a sly grin on her face. "Arkansas was one of the best people in the town. He didn't deserve this!"

"_Yeah!_" Oregon exclaimed, caught up in the mob mentality. "Arkansas was the _best!_ And now he's dead. We... I know what we should do. We gotta figure out who did this."

"The mafia will be taken _down!_" New York decided, grimacing determinedly at everyone. "We need a lead. Anything. Anything at all that could tell us who killed Arkansas."

"You know..." Indiana slowly said, a plausible fear creeping over her face, "I... I'm not too sure about Arizona. I saw her looking at Arkansas right before the lights went out."

"What?" Arizona exclaimed, mortified. "I - no - I mean, what are you talking about? I haven't talked at _all_ since we got in here! What reason would I have for killing Arkansas?"

"Because you're one of the mafia!" Ohio yelled, pointing angrily at Arizona. "Admit it! You wanted to kill poor, sweet, precious Arkansas. You monster."

And just like that, everyone was convinced Arizona murdered Arkansas. "_It sounds like we have a plausible candidate ripe for the voting!_" Chris declared via microphone. "_Arizona, you have thirty seconds to state your defense. Please stand._"

Arizona stood up, terrified out of her wits. "You've got to believe me!" she cried. "I - why would I kill Arkansas? He's nice! He's so nice. And he was an investigator! He's _on our side!_ The side of the townspeople!"

"You're a liar!" Virginia evidently decided. "_Ahem!_" Chris reminded. "_Only the defendant may speak. Arizona, if you'd continue?_"

"Yeah," Arizona began, "Arkansas was a good guy. But - but that doesn't mean we go blood-thirsty for the first person we think of! Think about it, everyone!"

Both Washington and North Dakota were gazing at Arizona with a sort of vague understanding as to what was _really_ going on, right when South Dakota stood from her chair and shrieked, "I don't trust her! She's dating that shady guy who always wears sunglasses!"

"I - _New Mexico?_ What does he have to do with any of this?"

Evidently, South Dakota couldn't answer that particular question, but still pointed a distrusting finger at Arizona. "_Contestants!_" Chris yelled from above. "_Raise your hands if you vote for Arizona! It must be a fifty-percent vote or above!_"

One by one, the contestants began raising their hands determinedly, staring down Arizona. In fact, everybody but Washington, Oregon, and North Dakota raised their hands. Oregon, because obviously Arizona was on his actual team, outside the game, and losing the challenge would be bad. "_That looks like a majority to me!_" Chris decided. "_Arizona, you have been hung!_"

Chef appeared from behind, and grabbed Arizona's arms, and muffled her mouth with duct tape. She squealed, and kicked at him, and was dragged away and out of the gymnasium. Everyone eagerly looked up toward's Chris's position, wishing to find out if they were correct or not.

...

"_Arizona was NOT a mafia member. In fact, she wasn't even an investigator, either._"

Shock went over everyone's faces. "You're... you're _sure?_" New York asked hesitantly. Chris didn't reply, and instead let the situation sink in. After a few moments, South Dakota, who'd earlier voted against Arizona with hefty extremity, wailed, crying, "Oh, _no!_ She was innocent! I... _why'd_ we do that? We all teamed up on her."

Everyone was looking incredibly guilty. "_Lights off!_" Chris then yelled. "_It's time for someone else to get murdered tonight._"

The lights shut off, as everyone closed their eyes. There was a brief pause, during which Chris waited for everyone to get situated before beginning for the third time.

"_Mafia members, please open your eyes and point to the person you want dead by next morning._"

...

"_Any day, now._"

...

"_Thank you, mafia. Please close your eyes. Our two remaining investigators: open your eyes._"

Texas and Louisiana nervously opened their eyes to look glance at each other in the dark. Everyone else had their eyes covered with their hands.

"_Investigators, please point to the person you want to find out whether or not is mafia._"

Louisiana pointed at Virginia. Texas pointed at North Dakota. There was a long pause.

"_Investigators. You HAVE to pick the same person._"

Texas was now aggressively pointing at North Dakota, while Louisiana insisted on Virginia, never budging. After at least half a minute of silent glaring, Texas finally switched, and pointed towards Virginia.

"_Investigators, the person you are pointing at IS a mafia member._"

There was a dead silence to that. Even contestants with covered eyes who were bouncing their legs up and down in boredom stopped immediately. Everybody heard that, but only the investigators knew who they pointed at...

"_Investigators, please close your eyes. Thank you._"_  
><em>

**DAY 4.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Indiana, Louisiana, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

Once again, lights flooded the gymnasium as everyone squinted in the new brightness. It was obvious what was on everyone's minds: who did the investigators find out were mafia?

There was a brand new empty chair right next to Massachusetts. "_Contestants, Maine was murdered by the mafia last night!_" Chris announced. "_She was just an ordinary townsperson. You all have two minutes to debate starting... now._"

"Okay, everyone," New York began, keen to keep his steady grasp upon leadership. "It's... obvious to _all_ of us that the investigators have found out one of the mafia. So... who is it, investigators?"

Nobody said anything. Louisiana shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as everyone waited for the investigators to show themselves.

"Come on. There's nothing to be afraid of," Ohio assured. "The investigators who saw who the mafia member was needs to stand up and reveal themselves immediately. Otherwise, you'll be going against the town's best interests."

Massachusetts nodded in affirmation to that. "Investigators, you'll really be helping out the town by telling us who you discovered were mafia," he insisted. "The more mafia we take out early on in the game, the better of a chance the town has of surviving this."_  
><em>

Slowly, Louisiana stood, shocking Texas. "Okay... _I'm_ one of the investigators," she quietly revealed. Silence filled the echoey gym. Apprehensive faces greeted her. "So who's the mafia you discovered?" Washington asked, awaiting her response patiently.

...

"Um... Virginia."

Virginia let out a sigh, as though she'd been expecting that, but drew herself up high and proud. "_Me?_" she asked in disbelief. "I - she's lying! She has to be lying."

Massachusetts frowned. "Well, there's still two investigators, right?" he said slowly. "Can the other investigator confirm what Louisiana is saying?"

There was a long silence. Louisiana didn't dare look at anyone specific in the face, lest they be called out for being the other investigator. "Either you guys believe me, or we're another townsperson down," Louisiana reminded them, looking terrified now. "I've said what I know. And, guys... we _really_ need to start taking some of these mafia out. And Virginia is one of them."

Virginia didn't respond to that, but contented herself with looking around at everyone's varied reactions. Some people were outright fearful. "_Is that a candidate for a vote, I hear?_" Chris's voice boomed through the gym. "_Virginia is up for vote, then! Virginia, do you have a defense?_"

Virginia surveyed everyone. Nobody wanted to trust her, but some people seemed uncertain of Louisiana's words. "Everybody," she said, standing, "if I was mafia, I would _not_ have killed Arkansas."

She sat back down. This resonated with everyone. "Arkansas will be missed," she added a few seconds later, and wiped away a "tear" from her eye.

...

"_Raise your hand if you vote for Virginia!_"

Six people raised their hands. Louisiana, Texas, Washington, South Dakota, Massachusetts, and Oregon. Only New York, North Dakota, Ohio, and Indiana refrained from raising their hands. "_That's... six votes out of eleven remaining contestants!_" Chris yelled. "_Virginia has been lynched! Chef, take her away!_"

Virginia sighed, as the big man tried picking her up around the waist. When Virginia didn't budge, he just dragged her away, looking particularly disgruntled at handling all the dirty work. There were now ten remaining. Everyone awaited Chris's reveal of Virginia's real role.

...

"_Virginia was, in fact, a mafia! Nice work, town._"

Everyone cheered. Literally everyone. All ten. A few of them were faking for reasons to benefit themselves. "We did it!" Ohio yelled, after giving Oregon a high-five. "One down! Woo!"

"_Alright, everyone, settle down,_" Chris commanded from his perch in the commentator's box. "_Don't forget the fact that there are still two mafia members remaining. Everyone, hands over your eyes as we begin the fourth__ night._"

**DAY 5.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Indiana, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, and Washington.

After another agonizingly long night in which everyone shifted around uncomfortably, and one person was fitfully dragged away at the end, the lights finally came back on for the fifth day.

There were now only nine more "alive" contestants left. Six empty chairs sat foreboding. Seven townspeople versus two mafia. Should've been easy, right?

"_Louisiana was killed last night by the two remaining mafia!_" Chris informed them in a booming voice. "_She was indeed an investigator! This means there is only one more investigator left. Discussion time! You all have two minutes._"

Nobody spoke for about ten full seconds. Wide eyes glanced around fearfully. After Louisiana, who had spoken out against the mafia last round, was killed, nobody seemed to want to speak. This silence was only broken by Ohio.

"So... there's still two mafia left," he reminded them. "I don't suppose the investigator found any clues last night?"

"You heard Chris," Washington quietly muttered, looking at Ohio suspiciously. "All of us did. '_That person is not a mafia member_', Chris said. In fact, it would be wise for the investigator to stay quiet for now..."

"Right, yeah, you're right..." Ohio mumbled, looking down. "Well. We still need to think about someone to hang today."

North Dakota scowled, and scuffed her shoe along the ground. "This game is stupid," she muttered. "Every one of you don't know who the killer is. It's pathetic, really."

New York glared at North Dakota. "Really? Okay, so, share your ideas with us, then," he snapped. "Go on, tell us. We'd love to know who the last two mafia are."

"Guys, don't trust her," Indiana warned everyone. "We've all seen how badly her team is treated by her. I'd take anything she says with a grain of salt."

North Dakota just smirked knowingly at Indiana. "Yeah, don't believe _anything_ I say," North Dakota chimed ruthlessly. "Take it from Indiana herself. Who _totally_ didn't 'accidentally' get Arizona hung a few days ago. Unless we all forgot about that?"

At that, nobody knew who to trust. Indiana looked a little taken aback at North Dakota's comment, while North Dakota just looked smug, as though she had the entire game figured out by now.

"_Uh... do we have any possible votes?_" Chris asked uncertainly. "_Or are we not gonna hang someone today?_"

"I vote for North Dakota!" Oregon cried, raising his hand. "She's... she's obviously the _antagonist_. And Chris probably made her a mafia member because she's perfect for it. I mean, right?"_  
><em>

There were nods to that. "I agree," Massachusetts mused thoughtfully. "And she hasn't been very nice while she _has_ been here."

"Oh, so now we're just going to vote off people because they're not _kind_ enough for you?" North Dakota rebutted, looking indignant. "_Compassion_, or whatever, doesn't get you far in this game. It's the ability to think. Duh. If you vote for me, that's just another innoc-"

"I vote for her, too!" Ohio decided, raising his hand as well. A few other people began raising theirs. In fact, the only people who didn't were Texas, Washington, and South Dakota. "Everyone! Think about what you're doing!" South Dakota protested, looking panicked. "I've known my sister for _many_ years, and I can personally tell you that she _isn't_ the bad guy this time! Or - bad _woman_, whatever!"

"Hey, y'all, South Dakota's right," Texas unexpectedly announced, looking warily at everyone who had their hands raised. "Trust me, y'all. It would be a _real_ bad idea to vote off North Dakota. She's innocent."

"How do you even _know_ that?" Indiana shouted. Texas looked uneasy, and merely mumbled, "She's - I - I just _know_, alright? Trust me."

Since Texas wasn't willing to offer up any proof, there ended up being six total votes for North Dakota out of nine. "_That looks like a majority to me!_" Chris announced. "_Chef, take North Dakota away!_"

Chef grunted something foul under his breath, and appeared to drag North Dakota away from the circle of chairs. "Augh! Hey! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO _DEFEND MYSELF,_ Chris! You idiots just made a big mistake!" she screamed. "I actually _know_ who the last two mafias are! I figured it out. So everyone here is _doomed_ now."

Washington frowned, as North Dakota was carried away by Chef. "Well?" Washington asked, as the sound of a slamming door echoed throughout the room. "She was innocent, wasn't she?"

"_Yep!_" Chris shouted with glee. "_North Dakota was completely innocent. She wasn't even an investigator._"

This news really disappointed a lot of people. "Oh, come on..." New York muttered, looking down wearily. "This sucks. I guess we gotta go through another night, then?"

"_Yes, yes you do!_" Chris responded. "_Lights, please!_"

**DAY 6.**

****CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE**** - Indiana, Massachusetts, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, and Washington.

By day six, there were only seven remaining townspeople, and eight empty chairs. More than half of original contestants had either been killed or hanged. Uneasy glances went between the teams; there was still at least one representative from each team, so no team had actually lost the challenge yet.

"_New York was brutally murdered last night!_" Chris declared. "_He was a simple townsperson. There are now only seven people left! Think wisely from here on out. You have two minutes to debate._"

After a brief silence, Washington spoke up. "I think I've figured out a way to determine who among us could or could not be mafia," he announced. "It's actually a little interesting. Think about it this way. A member of the mafia wouldn't want to kill someone from his own team. That would lessen his likelihood of his own team winning. So... let's look at who's died so far."

Everyone was intrigued, yet a little apprehensive. Up until this point, Washington had not said much. "New York was just murdered, so that rules out Massachusetts," Washington said, standing up. "Louisiana was killed the night before, so that rules out Texas. Oklahoma was killed the first night, so that probably rules out South Dakota. That just leaves me, Oregon, Ohio, and Indiana."

A long, long silence filled the air after Washington had finished. He looked around expectantly at them all. Massachusetts appeared impressed. "I find it interesting that you included yourself and Oregon in that list," he remarked. Washington shrugged. "I can't expect you all to trust me," he said. "But hopefully what I've said so far has convinced you. And I can't leave Oregon out of that list. Because everyone knows he's _definitely_ a mafia."

A few chuckles went around, as Oregon grew slightly indignant at that. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "I... I could be a mafia if I wanted."

"But, wait," Ohio suddenly intervened. "What if, as you say, a mafia member _did_, in fact, murder someone on their own team? It's possible. We can't rule out Massachusetts, Texas, and South Dakota."

"That is true," Washington obliged. "But highly unlikely. Despite the fact that we _are_ all together in this room, and all have similar goals, we all want our teams to succeed. Which is why I currently suspect both Indiana and Ohio to be mafia members."

"Well, since I _know_ I'm not a mafia member, I suspect Oregon!" Indiana cried, pointing at him. "You _did_ say he was a possibility! And for that matter, why should we all trust you? It sounds like you're against the town."

"Whatever. Trust me, or don't trust me," Washington sighed, sitting back down in his chair. "I've said the truth. You can all choose whether or not to believe me."

"I... really think he makes a good point," South Dakota murmured worriedly. "And... it would make sense. Two of the investigators were both from the southern team... I bet anything that Texas is the other investigator..."

"That could just be coincidence!" Indiana exclaimed. Ohio was looking concerned as well. "Guys, let's not jump to hasty conclusions," he quietly told them all. "Throwing around accusations like this is only going to make us hang another innocent person. Personally, I'm in favor of hanging Oregon."

Nobody seemed to agree with him. Only Texas appeared unsure. "I dunno, Washington's made a really good point," Massachusetts murmured, worried. "But I say Indiana's the biggest culprit here. North Dakota was right. Indiana _did_ accuse Arizona for little reason..."

"_Looks like another candidate has been suggested_," Chris announced cheerily. "_Indiana, what's your defense?_"

"You guys are making a mistake!" Indiana insisted, now standing. "Don't vote for me! This is Washington trying to _trick_ you all! Haven't you guys figured it out! _Washington_ is in the mafia!"

Washington was about to make a rebuttal, when Chris cleared his throat loudly into the microphone. "_No talking when the defendant is speaking!_" he reminded. "_I kind of messed up earlier, and North Dakota didn't really get to defend herself, so... I'm trying, okay?_"

"Thank you!" Indiana gasped. "Look. Everyone," she stated sincerely. "Ohio and I are _not _in the mafia. Alright? I don't know where this _crazy_ notion came from, but teams have _nothing_ to do with determining who or who isn't in the mafia. That'd be stupid! Now, listen. Washington is playing _all_ of you. If you lynch me, he'll just kill you all tonight. Mark my words."

"_Contestants!__ Please raise your hand if you vote for Indiana_," Chris then said.

Cautiously, Washington raised his hand first. Then came Massachusetts and South Dakota. Eventually, Oregon nervously raised his hand.

"_Then it's settled!_" Chris announced, and a clap could be heard through the microphone. "_That's four votes out of seven. Majority rules. Take her way, Chef!_"_  
><em>

"My pleasure," Chef grunted, hauling Indiana away. "Do what _I_ couldn't do, South Dakota!" she screamed, kicking at Chris. "Kill the rest of them! South Dakota, you _must_-"

"That's enough outta you!" Chef barked, and slapped a strip of duct tape over Indiana's jabbering mouth as he carried her out the door. And just like that, everyone nervously stared at South Dakota.

...

"_Indiana was indeed a mafia member._" Chris nervously muttered into the microphone. "_It's time for the sixth night._"

And that was that.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_81_mp3**

"Heheheheheh. I _loved_ being a villain for a little while. I mean, I would never act _that_ bitchy or desperate 24/7, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted. And that way I turned everyone against Arizona? Absolutely flawless."

Indiana

**DAY 7.**

**CURRENT REMAINING TOWNSPEOPLE** - Massachusetts, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, and Texas.

Lights, bright and glaring, were turned on again in the gymnasium. An early afternoon sun once again drifted through the windows as the contestants all uncovered their eyes.

There were now five contestants left. One mafia member, one investigator, and three regular townspeople.

"_Washington died a grisly death last night!_" Chris declared. "_He was just a plain old townsperson. __Today marks the seventh day. There are now five remaining contestants! Two minute's debate. Go!_"

Oregon had his head in his hands, as Washington's seat beside him sat empty. "Okay, guys, this is getting serious," Ohio began, after nobody spoke for around twenty seconds. "Seriously, the investigator needs to show themselves now. It doesn't matter if you don't know anything. Any help at all would be good. Because... if Indiana was telling the truth, South Dakota is indeed the last mafia member."

"But I'm _not!_" South Dakota exclaimed, looking on the verge of tears. "I don't know _why_ she said that! I really don't know _what_ to think anymore."

"What _I_ don't get is why _I've_ survived this long," Oregon said after a long silence from him. "I should've died _long_ before now."

"Well, at least we know he wasn't lying to us," Texas muttered. "But... I dunno, y'all... it might be Ohio. I wouldn't trust what Indiana said."

Ohio scoffed, looking particularly pretentious. "Me?" he questioned angrily. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm the only one trying to lead us all and keep the mafia from killing us. There's only one of them and four of us. We can do this, you guys. It's South Dakota."

Massachusetts nodded slowly and solemnly, warily glancing over at the only remaining girl. "That way Indiana was screaming at South Dakota to keep going..." he muttered, "it was just... it has to be South Dakota. We never suspected it up until now."

Right as Oregon was beginning to nod to that, Texas yelled out, "_Wait!_ It ain't South Dakota. Trust me on this, y'all-"

"Why should we just trust you?" Ohio countered, looking annoyed. "It's so obviously South Dakota."

Texas was just shaking his head, looking at South Dakota earnestly. "No. It ain't her," he insisted.

"Well, we're going to need some proof."

Texas teetered for a bit, on the edge of revealing something, and then finally gave in. "Alright. I'm the detective," he said bashfully. "And I pointed at South Dakota last night and Chris said she wasn't mafia. Y'all heard him. Which means... I don't think it's Massachusetts, an' I _highly_ doubt it's Oregon. So... it's Ohio."

"Now, hold on just a minute, here-" Ohio interrupted.

"Think about it, y'all! All the investigators are from my team, Team Touchdown. If Ohio's mafia, that means all the mafia are from Team America! And the rest of y'all are all just townspeople."

"Let's think this through, guys. Don't listen to Texas-"

"But trust me on this one thing: South Dakota ain't a mafia member. And if I'm right, it sure as hell's Ohio."

Texas's words stung deep. Ohio looked around cautiously at everyone. Even Massachusetts's mind seemed to be changed, as he looked down at the floor thoughtfully.

"_So. Is that it?_" Chris asked, looking down at them all through a layer of glass. "_Well, fine. Ohio. Care to state anything in your defense?_"

Ohio stood, shaking slightly. "Guys," he began, "I don't even know where to begin. Texas's idea that due to _some coincidence,_ everyone from Team America was made mafia is outrageous. And that just brings up another point. How can we even _trust_ Texas? He might be lying about being an investigator. For all we know, he could be in cahoots with South Dakota."

Once again, opinions were changed. Nobody knew who to believe anymore. Oregon's eyes swiveled between Ohio and Texas, unsure of whom to trust.

Ohio sighed, and expanded, "Vote for me, and the innocents are doomed to die. The _real_ investigator will be dead. Yes, that's right. _I'm_ the real investigator."

"That's a _dirty stinkin' lie!_" Texas proclaimed, but was quieted by a grimacing Chef in the distance, arms folded. Ohio sneered at Texas, and continued, "Oh, that's right. Texas is in cahoots with South Dakota."

"None of this even _matters!_" South Dakota squealed, evidently fed up with all of this. "All of you guys are just _bickering and fighting!_ It's not getting anything done! Augh! At least on my team there's peace and quiet. Nobody ever argues."

"_Alright, that's enough!_" Chris yelled over the microphone. "_It's time to vote. Raise your hand if you vote for Ohio so we can get this over with._"

Texas's hand immediately shot into the air. After a few seconds, Massachusetts's went up, too. Oregon, sighing at the ridiculousness of all of this, eventually raised his hand, too. And lastly, South Dakota raised hers, shaking her head wearily.

"_Wow. That's four votes. That's literally everybody except Ohio. Sorry, Ohio! You've been hung for your crimes._"

"DAMN IT!" he yelled, as Chef restrained him from behind, lifting him over his shoulders, like a fireman's carry. Moments later, Chris climbed down to greet the last four. "Well?" Texas asked. "Was he a bad guy?"_  
><em>

"Indeed, he was!" Chris declared. "And that means this game has been won by the innocents! Nice job, everyone!"

Oregon, South Dakota, Massachusetts, and Texas all cheered, as more than two dozen other contestants entered the gym to find out what had happened. Chris, standing on top of a small stool, yelled into a bullhorn, "Team America was the only team to lose all three of its original contestants! That means they're going to voting!"

Virginia and Maryland both groaned simultaneously, approaching Ohio. "What gives?" Maryland asked, looking distraught. "What even happened in this gym? What was the challenge?"

Ohio just waved her away, looking depressed. "I don't wanna talk about it..." he muttered.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_82_mp3**

"That was... absolutely... the worst challenge ever. I _had _it in the bag, too! If only I could have survived for one more night, I could have easily taken down one of the other teams! Maybe all of them, if Texas hadn't popped up in the middle of nowhere and announced he was an investigator. Ugh. Another loss for Team America."

Ohio

**4:48 PM.**

Five buses casually drove through the streets of Raleigh, headed to the city limits for a good place to host the voting ceremony. The air in Team America was absolutely solid; the prospect of going to _yet another_ voting ceremony was not one to look forward to.

Illinois was tossing a tennis ball in the air over and over again, catching it every time with a bored expression. Maryland was similarly inactive, and was taking a nap in one of the bedrooms; she had nothing to fear, since she wasn't involved in the challenge, and therefore could not be blamed for what happened. It was a conflict between Indiana, Ohio, and Virginia that was growing troublesome.

The three hadn't spoken at all since the challenge. Each of them blamed the other two for their team's loss. But as seven PM loomed nearer and nearer, it was all a matter of getting Illinois and Maryland to be on their side. The team had no more unity. It was just five contestants who shared the same bus now. You couldn't even call Ohio and Virginia friends anymore.

"I'm telling you," Indiana whispered to Illinois, who laid on the couch, looking bored. "Ohio is bad news. He's literally _cursed_. I think whatever Michigan said that night he was voted off must have cursed us all. If we get Ohio out of the game... then the curse will go away. And we'll all make it to the merge. Whenever that is."

Illinois was barely listening to Indiana, but responded, "Okay. So you want me to vote with you against Ohio, correct?"

"That's right."

Illinois looked her in the face. "You realize I don't do anything for free."

Indiana gulped, and looked a little nervous. "Well, yeah," she stammered. "But I can assure you if you help me against Ohio, I'll protect you later on in the game."

"Boooring," Illinois replied, looking back at the tennis ball he held. "Be a little more creative than that. Right when this team breaks apart during the merge, you'll have completely forgotten all this."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and rubbed her forehead. "Okay. What do you want me to do, then, your highness?" she sarcastically asked.

"I want a girlfriend on this show."

Another roll of the eyes from Indiana. "Uh-huh. I do too," she answered, looking irate. "Get to the point."

"You're gonna have to be my girlfriend."

Illinois was looking smug as ever. Indiana stood, crossing her arms. "Did you not get the part about me being gay?" she asked, pissed off. "No, I'm not being your weird, perverted girlfriend. Ask Maryland. Jesus, you're a weirdo."

Indiana was about to leave, but poked her head around the door at the last second. "Oh. And seriously, though, do vote against Ohio," she reminded him in a dull tone. He waved her away.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_83_mp3**

"I vote for Ohio. Nothing more needs to be said than that. This curse seriously sucks."

Indiana

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_84_mp3**

"I... I vote Indiana. I really can't bring myself to vote against Ohio, no matter what supposed curse we got. I really hope this ain't a bad move."

Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_85_mp3**

"I vote for Indiana. I think she's conspiring against me. Seriously, there _is no curse_. We just happen to be losing almost every challenge at the moment. It's no big deal."

Ohio

**7:00 PM.**

Seven at night. One empty bus patiently sat in the middle of a supermarket's parking lot. A full moon drifted overhead.

"Really, Team America?" Chris asked, looking a little annoyed. "You guys love me _that much?_ Why are you losing all the challenges all of a sudden? When I left you guys, you all had like - like seven people left! And now you're almost down to four! What happened?"

Nobody responded. Too many were too busy glancing around nervously. Chris sighed, and looked at a clipboard. "Aye, aye, aye..." he murmured, peering over the results. "What a voting ceremony. Well, let's get started. When I call your name, you get a snack, yadda-yadda-yadda. Illinois. Zero votes."

Illinois caught a handful of Smarties from Chris. "Maryland. No votes, either," Chris then said.. More snacks were thrown. He then looked meaningfully at the remaining three: Virginia, Ohio, and Indiana.

...

"Virginia. Just kidding. You got no votes for some reason."

She gratefully grabbed for the popcorn bag that was thrown her way. It was now just between Ohio and Indiana.

"One of you got three votes, and the other got two," Chris explained, grinning like some kind of deviant. "This is actually a little surprising to me. But... the final snack... goes to..."

M&M's were tauntingly raised into the air by Chris. He lingered for just a moment, and then...

...

...

...

"...Indiana."

Even Indiana was shocked, as a tiny bag of M&M's went tumbling to the pavement at her feet.. Ohio glanced around, confused, right until the realization of what happened hit him full in the face. "WHAT?" he exclaimed. "You guys voted off your _leader?_"

Maryland shrugged, opening up a package of powdered sugar donuts. "You were cursed," she pointed out in between bites. "And our team kept losing right when you decided to be _leader_ or whatever, so..."

"No! This _isn't fair!_" Ohio exclaimed, jumping up. "_I_ should be going to the finalists! Chris, tell me there's been some sort of mistake. I _can't_ be voted off before we're even halfway into the season!"

"Oh," Chris suddenly said, looking down at his clipboard. "Sorry. There _was_ a mistake. Sorry, Indiana, you're going home."

"Really?" Ohio yelped, not expecting that at all. Chris started laughing hysterically. "Hah! Nope!" he yelled. "I was just kidding. Yeah, you really are going home, Ohio. Go cuddle with Michigan and your weird fan that showed up in that episode a month ago."

"I'm not moving," Ohio obstinately declared, standing right in place. "This is where I belong. Right here in Team America."

"Nope! Ohio, you belong in Cleveland!" Chris yelled, and waved for Chef to come and remove Ohio. "Or should I say Brendan? Whups! Forgot for a second that I'm not supposed to reveal your real names!"

"Fuck you!" Ohio yelled. "It's pronounced Brandon!"

"I think it's pronounced, 'Hey, Chef, come remove this kid from the premises'."

"Y'don't gotta ask me twice," Chef responded, a sly grin on his huge face, as he picked up Ohio and started walking towards the cab. Ohio kicked, and pounded, but was no match for Chef's hulking strength. Right before the car door slammed, Ohio flipped Chris off. "Whoa! Watch the birdie, there, Ohio!" Chris yelled. "Think of the kids! Hm. Let's see, here."

Chris surveyed the pitiful remainder of Team America. He then sighed. "You guys really are depressing, you know," he informed them. "Hope at least a few of you make it past the merge."

Virginia raised a hand. "When is the merge?" she asked. Chris shrugged. "I dunno! Not for a while, I think," he admitted. "Maybe in a month or so. We've still got a ways to wait. Hang in there, kids."

Chris then turned to the cameras, a bright smile on his face. "Well! What an exciting episode this has been!" he announced. "Make sure to catch The Fifty State Roadtrip Wednesdays and weekends at 8/7 central on CampTV." Chris then rolled his eyes, as though he was required to say that little bit. "What will happen next?" he asked. "Will Team America keep losing challenges, or... was the 'curse' really broken? Find out the answers to these exciting questions and _more_ on the next installment of... The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

The intern holding the camera gave a thumbs up, and shut it off. Chris stretched, groaning. "Wow. I am beat," he sighed. "You kids want Chinese food? There's a good place not far from here."

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, and Ohio.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Applause2014, Knifez, AudiLion, Jinxup116, BabyIt'sBrynlee, GrassBlade-Chan, Winkie4, Anatee Apple-Hime Takaramono, DaleJr.88, I-love- Ouran-host-club, Guest, ConcernedMidWest, Curcle, and manateebacon!

**aspiringAnimator** - OH MY GODDD. A new record was broken, as this was the longest chapter yet. Wow.

See that "SPECIAL THANKS TO" up there? Those are people who've reviewed! Every new chapter from now on, I make a list full of people who have reviewed within the last four days. Since that's the first "SPECIAL THANKS TO" list, everybody who has ever reviewed was included. BUT! That's only for this time. Next time, only people who have reviewed on this chapter will be featured on the list. So review every week! That's how you maintain a position on that list. This is all to encourage reviews, and reviews encourage me to keep writing. Feedback is sweet.

The poll on my profile has been updated! You can now only vote for three people, since there are now only thirty contestants remaining. If you haven't voted on the poll yet, then what the _hell_ are you doing here? Just kidding. I love you. Yes, you, specifically. The one reading this right now.

(Sorry for kicking off Ohio. He was always planned to go this episode, right from the start. But Team America will live on, mark my words.)


	22. The Last Dance

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - **(**Illinois and Indiana**)** and **(**Maryland and Virginia**)**.

**EPISODE 21: THE LAST DANCE**

_"Wh - why's _he_ going home? He's so nice!" - Tennessee_

**Sunday, September 14th, 2014. Cleveland, Ohio. 7:02 AM.**

The cool winds of the Great Lakes swept past five long black charter buses as they sped north into Ohio. Ohio, historically settled in the mid eighteenth century as the frontier, was now a quiet backwater to the huge cities in the east. Yellow-green trees swayed in the breeze, as schoolchildren all over the state rejoiced in the fact that the weekend had come.

For the exactly thirty contestants left on The Fifty State Roadtrip, however, things were a little different. The only thing greeting contestants when they were booted off was an unimpressed welcome by their old friends, a huge local media circus surrounding their return, and the fact that they missed weeks, if not months of school during their absence.

But until that point, the thirty contestants would enjoy a tenuous peace. Memories of home were fleeting. Most contestants had made their buses much more like home; artwork, posters, photos, news clippings, and more hung from the walls. In Team Democracy's bus, Pennsylvania had taken it upon herself to hang up orange, yellow, and red construction paper chains to commemorate the coming of fall.

As Maine helped Pennsylvania hang up the final few lengths of the paper chain, New Jersey tentatively approached Massachusetts, who was sitting on the couch reading the September issue of the PC Gamer magazine. "Hey... Massachusetts?" New Jersey slowly asked. "I need some advice, yo."

Massachusetts closed the magazine, and looked up at his newest interrogator. "Alright," Massachusetts sighed, consenting. "Is it something... private? Do you need to tell me somewhere other than the middle of the bus?"

"Nah, nah, here's good," New Jersey reassured him, and plopped down besides Massachusetts. "It... um... involves a girl."

"Okay," Massachusetts replied disinterestedly, reopening his magazine. "Who?"

New Jersey cautiously glanced around. Pennsylvania went back to her bunk room, while Maine stayed behind to search through the cupboards for some cereal. "Delaware," he murmured to Massachusetts. "Ah," Massachusetts responded, unsurprised. For a few moments, Massachusetts was just reading an article about the revival of the Wii U, while New Jersey waited patiently. "So..." New Jersey continued, after Massachusetts didn't say any more. "My problem is that... I mean... she ain't really... takin' very well to my... advances."

"Yeah. I've noticed," Massachusetts responded. "Actually, if I want to be perfectly level with you, New Jersey, everybody on the bus has noticed. It's just about _impossible_ to have any kind of romantic relations on this show without literally everyone finding out about it within twenty minutes."

"...oh," New Jersey responded, looking down at his thumbs. "Well... you got any advice?"

Massachusetts rubbed his forehead, and exasperatedly asked, "Why are you asking me? I mean, I am completely flattered and all, and I'll give you advice, but... why not New York? He loooves talking about romance. He's like the Karkat of our team."

"The what?"

"Never mind," Massachusetts murmured. "My advice to you... is... to... uhhh... follow... your heart?"

New Jersey sat there for a moment, absolutely still, as Maine carried her bowl of cereal back to the bunk rooms, giving a small glance at Massachusetts on her way out. "Follow my heart..." New Jersey repeated slowly. "Yeah," Massachusetts affirmed, looking back down to his magazine. "Like, y'know... just do what feels right. If something clicks, then go with that. Be yourself. Don't let anybody tell you what to do."

"Yeah... be myself..." New Jersey repeated, as Massachusetts rolled his eyes and went back to his magazine.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_86_mp3**

"I don't mean to be rude to New Jersey. I think he tries to hard sometimes at seeming tough, and trying to get girls to like him. He's just too impressionable. I told him not to let anyone tell him what to do, and then he proceeded to let _me_ tell him what to do. I just hope this doesn't end badly down the line for everyone."

Massachusetts

**9:33 AM.**

Team America was broken.

After Ohio was voted off for good, the entire team was in disarray. That is to say, four teenagers were scrambling to figure out what to do. Before Ohio had forcefully taken the position of leader, the team had absolutely zero experience in the leadership and management departments. And soon, of course, _alliances_ began to form.

Virginia had convinced Maryland to support her, as she suspected both Indiana and Illinois were working together. Illinois recruited Indiana, because he suspected Virginia was working with Maryland. A general, distrustful atmosphere soon formed in the team between the two hastily-created, two-person alliances. It was like the Cold War, except with more teenagers, and less nuclear missiles.

So, as a result of all these high tensions, pretty much nobody spoke to one another, except in rushed, necessary conversation. Indiana seemed to be the only one who didn't care too terribly much about the alliances, and instead elected to just do what she usually did, to the slight annoyance of her supposed partner, Illinois.

"Indiana!" he whispered harshly as she plopped down on the couch to watch some TV. "Didn't you hear me?"

Indiana raised an eyebrow as she watched some CampTV, and muttered, "Guess not. What is it?"

"You're supposed to be spying on Virginia and Maryland. They're-"

Suddenly, Indiana groaned, resting her head back. Illinois appeared confused, as Indiana dully mumbled, "My god... seriously, Illinois, there's not even any alliances. I don't know why you've convinced yourself that there are. Jesus, why did all the guys on this team have to be such creeps? Now leave me alone, I didn't agree to anything."

"Oh, yes you did," Illinois countered smugly, folding his arms. "I helped you take Ohio out. I didn't do that for free. You're going to help me survive, if our team loses another challenge."

"But we won't!" Indiana cried, looking irritated now. "The curse is broken! Ohio is gone! He's probably hate-snogging Michigan or something!"

Illinois looked disgusted, and walked toward the kitchen for food. "Well, regardless," Illinois muttered, "you're going to help me, whether you like it or not. It's us versus them, Indiana. Us. Versus. Them."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_87_mp3**

"With Ohio gone, I can finally start doing more around this team. Not to mention... I _am_ the last man left on this team. Heheheh. Those are good odds, am I right?"

Illinois

**10:03 AM.**

The tall, bustling city of Cleveland, Ohio stood before five charter buses parked on a dock. Behind them, the great freshwater expanse of Lake Erie extended to the horizon, creating the illusion of a huge ocean.

"Good morning, kids!" Chris greeted the thirty contestants. "Hope you slept well! Today, we visit the absolute beauty of Cleveland... tall buildings, cool breezes, and... rock and roll!"

He then gestured grandly towards a white building behind him, grinning broadly. Everyone looked around confusedly. Even Chef had no idea what the hell Chris was talking about.

New Jersey raised a hand. "Yo, Chris... it's just a building," he pointed out. Chris sighed, and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah. 'It's just a building'," he repeated. "New Jersey, go stand in a corner."

"...Chris, there's no corners, I told you, we're outsi-"

"I _KNOW_ we're outside - okay, y'know what? Forget it. I'm not continuing this running gag today. What you kids are looking at is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! So, from that, can anyone guess what our challenge is?"

Alabama raised a hand, and suggested, "Do we gotta... do some kinda rock 'n' roll trivia show?"

Chris shook his head. "Nope! Good guess, though," he admitted. "Follow me!"

He then began leading the thirty contestants into the museum, which had been emptied of any other patrons once the staff discovered The Fifty State Roadtrip would be filming a challenge there. "Here you have the Beatles, KISS, Nirvana, et cetera," Chris told them all as they all briskly walked past the exhibits. He pointed at a few electric guitars resting on podiums, and of huge prints of the Beatles posing for an album cover. "AC/DC, Elvis, Pink Floyd... it's all here," he told them. "Maybe another time you kids can come back and actually take a look at all the exhibits! Hahah! I'm joking, of course. You'll probably never come back here."

Chris and Chef then led everyone though a huge set of double doors and onto a giant stage. Ahead, rows upon rows of seats awaited. Chris then proudly planted his hands on his hips, and announced, "We're doing a singing competition!"

Every girl who'd dreamed of becoming a famous singer started squealing, while the majority of contestants who couldn't care less just face-palmed at the stupidity of it all. "You just _had_ to have _some_ kind of singing on this show, didn't you, Chris?" Indiana quipped. "Shoosh!" Chris hushed. "The producers _love_ the singing. We can actually make _money_ off of it. A lot. Now, here's how this challenge goes. Each team picks one person to sing for them! There will be three judges to score them: myself, Chef, and... _Blaineley_."

A miserable-looking Blaineley wearing a dirtied red dress walked up unsteadily, hardly able to balance in her high heels. Nevertheless, she smiled wearily at the cameras. "_Hellooo_, kids," she greeted, wincing. "Thought you'd be rid of me for any time longer than a week, huh?"

At the sight of Blaineley, a few people began groaning. "Oh, come _on!_" New York yelled. "Blaineley's _judging us?_ You realize she hates our guts, right?"

Blaineley gasped dramatically at that. "I do not!" she protested, looking straight into the cameras. "I am a fair, wise, and _tolerant_ host - I mean, _was_. I'm not a host anymore. _Somehow_... my position was revoked."

Chris grinned bemusedly at Blaineley. "Riiight..." he slowly responded. "Well! In any case... figure out who's singing for each team, contestants! You have twenty minutes. Make sure you pick someone who can _actually_ sing. Or not! This show could always use a little humor._  
><em>

**10:28**

"Oh my gawd, a singing challenge!" Oregon exclaimed, clapping his hands together excitedly. "I love musicals. Who should we pick to sing?"

"Well... if you want to sing, I guess... volunteer?" Washington asked, looking around at his five teammates. Nobody jumped forward. "Right, that's about what I expected..." he mused. "We'll have to get everyone to try out, then. Oregon, you said you like musicals?"

Oregon's eyes went wide. "Oh... no, I mean, I do," he explained, "but... only when I'm in the audience. I could never, _never_ perform in front of an audience..."

"Technically, you're in front of an audience of millions of people right now," Washington pointed out, grinning slightly and gesturing towards the camera crew not far away. "But that's fine. Does anybody have any experience with singing? Any at all?"

Arizona stepped forward after a tiny nudge from her boyfriend, New Mexico. She looked a little embarrassed, but admitted, "Well... I sang in my third grade play..."

"Well, okay. Sing something. Do the do-re-mi thing."

"...the what?" Arizona asked, looking confused now. Washington tapped his cheeks, searching for the right words. "You know! The... the song from that movie, the Sound of Music."

"_Oh!_" Arizona exclaimed, understanding. "Ohhh. I know what you're talking about now. Um, okay, let's see..."

She cleared her throat, and sang, "_Do... Re... Mi... Fa... Sol, La, Ti, Do!_"

Everyone was impressed. New Mexico was gazing at his girlfriend with awe. Oregon had his hands together, and whispered, "Oh my gosh, you have such a pretty voice..." Even Hawaii appeared impressed.

"Okay..." Washington slowly said, "okay, we're _definitely_ gonna use you, Arizona. Know any songs?"

She appeared thoughtful for a moment. "I know a bunch of Christmas songs!" she exclaimed. "My family goes caroling sometimes, even though it never snows in Phoenix... also, I can play the piano, if that helps..."

"Fabulous," Washington declared, surveying his small team. "Do whatever song feels right to you."

**10:32 AM.**

A few of the other teams had already begun selecting their candidates, but in Team Touchdown... there were a few problems. Namely, the fact that nobody was terribly good at singing.

"I'm tellin' y'all!" Mississippi insisted. "I'm real good at singin'! They - they chose me to sing for my church! In choir! I'm - I'm real good, y'all-"

"No, y'all should go with me," Tennessee countered. "I helped my brother's band with backup lyrics! I've been in professional stuff! Y'all-"

"Every one of y'all needs to hush!" Texas shouted, looking sternly at the four girls who all insisted upon being the one to sing. "We can only pick _one_ person. Now, I know all of y'all wanna be that one person, but we need someone who can _actually __sing_-"

"I can sing!"

"Tex, you _know_ I can sing-"

Texas took a few steps back from the pleading girls, and reproachfully shouted, "No offense, y'all, but I've heard y'all singin' in the showers. And it ain't pretty sometimes. Just sometimes! But really, y'all, I can only pick one person. So why don't some of y'all back off? Again, no offense, ladies."

Georgia and Louisiana both sighed, and stepped back, as though they knew they probably wouldn't be fit for the job. After a lot of consideration, Tennessee withdrew as well, leaving only Mississippi eagerly volunteering. Texas sighed, and was incredibly tempted to do a face-palm. "You really think you can sing, huh, Mississippi?" he asked uncertainly. "Hey," Alabama suddenly interjected, glancing at Mississippi bashfully, "Let her sing, Tex. She wants to sing, so let her sing. An' I know she's got a _beautiful_ singin' voice."

Alabama and Mississippi shared a brief, gag-worthy kiss, as Texas rolled his eyes. "Fine," he allowed. "But if she loses us the challenge, it's on her. Don't forget that."

**10:33 AM.**

"Well, we gotta pick _someone__!_" Virginia cried. "Can't we put our differences aside for just a _moment?_"

The four remaining members of Team America were jabbering away at each other, bickering over who to pick for the singing challenge. "Yeah, well, Indiana's our best candidate!" Illinois argued back. "After all, I don't think _any_ of us can sing but her."

Virginia began gesturing frantically towards Maryland. "Mary can sing!" she cried. "_I_ can sing too! _You_ just don't want us to, 'cause you think there's some kind of _alliance_ thing goin' on. We are a _team together_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_88_mp3**

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Maryland and I _are_ teamed up. But that's just 'cause Illinois is tryin' to get Indiana on his side and make an alliance! And I don't even know _why!_ But I needed him to pick either me or Mary, 'cause that'll give us a leg up against him if we _do_ win this challenge. Here's to hopin' that curse is really gone."

Virginia

**10:34 AM.**

"This is so stupid..." Indiana murmured as everyone else argued. "You guys are making such a big deal over this. Just pick Maryland so we can start the challenge."

"_Thank you_, Indiana!" Virginia cried, looking gratefully at her. "At least _someone's_ makin' sense." Illinois rolled his eyes at that, arms folded, when he noticed Chris waving at everyone for them to wrap up selection. "Whatever," he consented. "But if she loses it for us, then we vote her off. And that's final._  
><em>

"Gather round!" Chris yelled at everybody. "Has everyone chosen their candidates for singing? Because we're about to begin. Tell me the songs so we can pull them up in the sound booth up there."

**11:02 AM.**

The lights dimmed. A curtain parted.

Twenty-five contestants all sat in rows upon rows of seats, eagerly looking toward an illuminated, wide stage. In the front row, Blaineley, Chris, and Chef Hatchet all sat side by side, looking scrutinizingly at a terrified-looking Delaware.

"_Um_..." she said into a propped up microphone. "_I am singing Amazing Grace. So... yeah._"

New Jersey rose from his seat in the audience, and began clapping like crazy, which went on for about ten seconds until New York had the good sense to finally yank him down. There was a long pause, as Delaware readied herself.

"_Amaaaziiing Grace... how sweet the sound... that saved a wretch like meee..._"

Her melody filled the auditorium, amplified by loudspeakers. Her teammates and friends sat watching, transfixed. No longer did the challenge matter. Everything about reality TV seemed so insignificant when faced with such a beautiful melody.

"_I once was lost... but now, am found... was blind, buuut now, I see..._"

Connecticut was watching attentively, when a tiny noise beside him caused him to whip around to find New Jersey quite literally sobbing.

"It's... it's so - so b - _beautiful_," he gasped. Connecticut inched away from him.

"_T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear... and Grace, my fears relieved... how precious did that Graaace appear, the hooour I fiiirst belieeeved..._"

"She has such a pretty voice," Oregon whispered to Hawaii beside him. Hawaii glanced at Oregon, and muttered, "Guys don't say 'pretty'."

"Oh. Um, sorry..."

"_Through maaany dangers, toils and snares... I have alreeeady come... 'Tis Grace thaaat brought me safe thus far... and Grace will lead me home._"

Delaware stood up straight nervously, awaiting the judges' responses, when suddenly-

New Jersey sprung up from his seat, clapping wildly. "_BRAVO!_" he shouted. "Bravo!"

There was a brief moment of awkwardness, until other claps were heard, these coming from Maine and Pennsylvania. Moments later, and the entirety of Team Democracy was clapping for Delaware, paying no regard to the amount of people who were staring at them. Once the din had finally died down, Delaware bowed, smiling sheepishly at the three judges.

"Hmmm..." Chris muttered, stroking his chin. "It was simple, I'll say that, but you managed to pull it off spectacularly, Delaware. I give you an eight out of ten!"

Chef nodded furiously, wiping a stray tear from his eye. "Beautiful..." he croaked. "I give you a nine outta ten. Real amazin'."

The two judges looked over at Blaineley expectantly, who groaned and looked up at Delaware tiredly. "I gotta judge, don't I?" she mumbled. "Well, alright. I was kind of hoping for something with a little more... something to it. Amazing Grace is great and all, but... you know, I _might_ be inclined to give higher scores if I was the actual host of the show..."

There was a long pause as Blaineley waited patiently for someone to answer that. When no response came, she sighed, and said, "I give it a seven out of ten. Only because it wasn't bad for the boring song that it was."

Delaware bowed, mumbled, "Thank you..." into the microphone, and gratefully stepped off stage, to the warm welcome of her team. One down, four to go.

**11:09 AM.**

"_Oh, t__he weaaather outsiiide is frightful..._"

Arizona was all alone on the stage, wearing a long, silky red dress and sitting at an ebony grand piano. She was a master at playing it, and sung her harmonious lyrics into a microphone propped up near her mouth.

"_But the fiiire... is so delightful... and since we've no place to gooo... let it snow, let it snow, let it snooow..._"

"Now _that's_ harmony," New Mexico whispered to California. "Arizona... she's _really_ classy."

"_It doesn't show signs of stopping..._" Arizona sang, averting her eyes from the audience, "_and I've brooought some corn for popping... the lights are turned way down looow... let it snow, let it snow, let it snooow..._"

She began to ramp up her piano-playing, filling the air with a crescendo of notes, to which she sang, "_When we finally kiss goodnight... how I'll hate going out in the storm! But if you really hold me tight... all the way home I'll be warm!_"

Even though it wasn't even near time for Christmas yet, the entire room began to fill with a festive mood. Green and red lights were shining along the walls, courtesy of the backup intern who was operating the lighting controls.

"_The fire is slooowly dying... and, my dear, we're still goodbying... but as long as you love me so... let it snow, let it snow, let it snooow!_"

At the end, Arizona nervously looked over to the audience, sweeping some of her orange hair out of her eyes as she did so. There was a pause, and then-

The entirety of Team Victory began applauding loudly, as well as a few members from Team Democracy and a few girls from Team Touchdown, which all lasted for about half a minute. "You go, girl!" New Mexico cheered, clapping erratically. When the din had finally died down, Arizona looked to the three judges for their responses.

"I liked it a lot!" Chris complemented. "That was actually pretty lively and fun. I give it a nine."

A resounding cheer came from the five seated members of Team Victory. A pause, and then-

"It ain't Christmas!" Chef barked. "It's the middle of September! But... y'all did pretty good with this one. I guess I give it a seven."

Blaineley clicked her tongue, looking at Arizona curiously. "Now, _that_ was what I was talking about," she mused, glancing to the other two judges. "Style _and_ fun. The show isn't _about_ talent. It's about looking good _while_ sounding good. And this girl, whatever her name is, nailed it, in my book. Could've chosen a livelier song, though. Eight out of ten."

Arizona bowed, blushing furiously, and descended the steps. "Not bad, Team Victory!" Chris congratulated from where he sat into a bullhorn. "But there are still more to come. Bring out Team Touchdown's singer!"

**11:15 AM.**

The lights dimmed once more, as everyone from Team Touchdown eagerly awaited their very own contestant to begin her song. The curtains parted... and Mississippi sat on a stool wielding a guitar. She was looking positively terrified.

About twenty seconds went by, during which she did absolutely nothing but stare into the audience with a horrified expression, even though there were only about thirty people watching her. "Um. Sweetheart?" Blaineley said, slightly irritated. "You're supposed to sing."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_89_mp3**

"Okay. It looks like it's pretty obvious who we should vote off tonight. I mean, we _did_ lose the challenge 'cause of her. I'm just thinkin' it's gonna be hard gettin' everyone to actually vote 'gainst her."

Tennessee

**11:17 AM.**

In an instant, Mississippi suddenly realized where she was. She strummed her guitar once, and sang, "_Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waitin'; all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince an' I'll be the princess... it's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes...'_"

"Oh, my god, she's singing a Taylor Swift song..." Texas muttered, massaging his forehead with his hand. Alabama glanced over at his friend, irritated, and nudged him roughly. "Shush!" he told Texas. "That's my _girlfriend an' future wife_ up there. Let her sing."

"_'__Cause you were Romeo; I was a scarlet letter, an' my daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet.' But you were everythin' to me, I was beggin' you, 'Please don't go...'_"

Mississippi's singing was a little bit off key, and it seemed that the guitar was only there for aesthetic purposes, other than to be strummed every few seconds for emphasis on a few notes. Everyone sat awkwardly as Mississippi continued her song, unaware that there were any problems with her less than impressive performance.

"_He knelt to the ground an' pulled out a ring an' said, "Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. I love you, and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad; you'll pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes.'_"

Mississippi was certainly putting her heart into it, that was for sure. During the last parts of the song, she started strumming the guitar over and over again, even though there were no specific notes she was aiming for. Nevertheless, she stood up from her stool once it was over and smiled sheepishly at the three judges.

"Uhhh..." Chris muttered, scratching the back of his head. "Maybe... hey, Chef, you wanna get this one before me?"

Chef groaned, as though he lamented having to be the one to say it. "Right..." he muttered. "Um. Yeah... you ain't the best at singin'."

Mississippi's smile stayed on her face, though it faltered slightly when she heard that. Chef looked a little guilty, yet said, "I'm gonna give you a... um... five outta ten..."

Chris nodded slowly, leaned into his microphone, and admitted, "Yeah... sorry, but you get a four from me... it... it just wasn't that great. Sorry."

Mississippi's face was frozen. She began breathing faster.

Blaineley rolled her eyes, and snapped, "I don't see why you guys are being so nice to her. She's clearly got no singing talent. So I give her a two. She shouldn't even be up there, really."

And at that, Mississippi snapped. Her eyes erupted into a fit of tears, as she gasped and ran off the stage, leaving behind her guitar resting on the stage. As her wails receded back into the audience, Chris sighed, and yelled, "Alright, bring out whatever Team America's got!"

**11:23 AM.**

It was now Team America's turn in the spotlight once more. A curtain parted to reveal Maryland standing alone in front of a microphone. She cleared her throat nervously, and greeted, "Hi... I'm... Maryland. From Team America. And I'm going to be, um, singing... 'The Best of Both Worlds' by Hannah Montana..."

"Oh, my god, _please_ tell me that's not the song she's singing..." Virginia whispered desperately in the audience. "_Please_ don't be the song she's singing. Oh, please, please... anything but a _Hannah Montana_ song..."

Funky pop music erupted from the loudspeakers all around them. This was the karaoke version of the soundtrack. This was a song destined for ten-year-old girls watching Disney Channel.

"_You get the limo out front... hottest styles, every shoe, every color..._"

"Please kill me now..." New York whispered to Pennsylvania, who then shook silently with giggles.

"_Yeah, when you're famous it can be kinda fun. It's really you, but no one ever discovers..._"

"_In some ways you're just like all your friends... but on stage you're a star!_"

"_You get the best of both worlds... chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show..._"

"I can't take this anymore," Hawaii whispered, standing up. "Where are you going?" Washington asked. "We've all gotta sit here no matter how terrible it is. And she's not that bad of a singer."

"I... I'm going to the restroom, that's it," Hawaii assured him, and disappeared up the aisle into the back doors.

"_You get the best of both worlds! Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds!_"

"Okay, okay, we're good!" Chris interrupted, and snapped his fingers. The microphone was turned off. "_Excellent_ work, Maryland," he lied. "Fantastic stuff. How about that?"

"Why'd you turn it off?" Maryland asked, looking confused. "We were just starting out."

...

"Um..." Chris began, thinking for a moment. "Because... of... _copyright!_ Yes! Copyright! Can't have Disney suing CampTV over a Hannah Montana song. No sir-ee. No way we could afford that. So... let's get to judging! Blaineley?"

Blaineley spat out her gum into a small trash can nearby. "Four out of ten," she remarked, casually looking over her fingernails. "Decent singing, but terrible song choice."

"But Hannah Montana's a _classic!_" Maryland insisted, looking like she was on the verge of tears. "And - and you said it yourself, this is a challenge based on singing ability, not song choice-"

"Sorry, kid," Chris muttered, shrugging. "But song choice matters a _lot,_ believe it or not. I give you... meh. A six out of ten. Just because I'm feeling nice today."

Both Chris and Blaineley looked over towards Chef, who slouched into his chair. "I mean, I dunno..." he muttered. "I... it's an okay song..."

Chris stared at Chef, inching away from the huge dude slowly. "You... you like Hannah Montana?" he asked incredulously. To that, Chef grew defensive, shouting, "I mean - it ain't bad - the music, I mean - I - just... eight out of ten."

Maryland gasped in relief. That put Team America above Team Touchdown, luckily enough. "Th - thank you," she stammered, and then proceeded to scamper off stage to rejoin her team in the audience. Chris then glanced down at a notepad, and yelled, "Alright, we're almost done everybody! Bring out Team Dakota's singer! I am _ready_ to finish this challenge."

**11:35 AM.**

Silence. The auditorium was bathed in darkness. And then, a curtain parted.

None other than Kansas stood on stage, all alone, holding a microphone. Beams of light shone everywhere. For the first time since the beginning of the show... he looked like he was rather enjoying himself. And then a beat began.

"So... _why'd_ you go with Kansas?" South Dakota asked her sister in a hushed whisper. North Dakota glanced down at South, and smiled slightly. "Because I didn't want to do it. And if he messes up, then he gets voted off. It's simple."

"...oh."

"My name is Kansas," he greeted, looking over the audience as the beat grew stronger. "I represent Team Dakota, and I'm going to be singing The Last Dance, by Limousines."

The song wasn't one that most people had heard of. In the audience, it seemed only Washington, Colorado, and Connecticut had recognized the song. The beat was an electronic one, growing louder, and then-

"_We could see forever from here... city lights and setting sun. We could see it through the ceiling... the sky is falling down..._"

Beams of light shone everywhere, moving rapidly, making everything feel like a concert. Kansas sung, "_We could see the angels swirling... vultures in circles now... we could see the road with no end, when all is said and done..._"

Kansas stood, flinging his arm behind him, eyes closed, and sang, "_And even when my palms get sweaty, I'm not gonna let you down! Ripping up a wedding dress and burning down our tiny house!_"

"Wow. He can sing," North Dakota murmured. "And... not badly, actually..." The lights focused on Kansas, as he put his heart into it, singing, "_We could be the rolling thunder! We could be THE LAST DANCE! I might be wrong, but I've been right for so long..._"

"_We've got it! What everyone else is just jealous of... so please, darling, you know I'm out of my mind with you!_"

"How is he _that good__?_" Washington whispered, gazing at the spectacle on stage: Kansas, all alone, singing his heart out, finally free from the conformity of his own team. "I mean... he's nailing _all of the lyrics_. All of them."

"_We've got it! What everyone else is just dreaming of... please... darling, you know I'm out of my mind, of my miiind..._"

"_Keep our balance... keep our balance... we keep our balance..._"

The tune gradually died down, as did the lights. A brief moment of silence, and then-

Everybody from Team Dakota except for North Dakota all stood and applauded for Kansas, their hero.

Even Chris wiped a tear from his eye. "That... was amazing. It really, truly was," he quietly acknowledged. Blaineley stood from her seat, and shouted, "Yes! _That_ is what I have been looking for! _That_ right there, ladies and gentlemen. Kid, whatever your name is, I give you a _ten_. You _rocked it_."

"His name is _Kansas!_" Chris sternly reminded Blaineley, "and he is now my _favorite_ kid from Team Dakota. I give him a nine."

"_Hey!_" North Dakota cried from the back row. "I - _I'm here too,_ you know!"

It was now Chef's turn to stand. "I ain't _that_ big a fan of electro-whatever that was," he told everyone, "but that was just about the best damned thing I seen all week. Felt just like a concert. I give ya a seven."

And now, everyone from Team Dakota cheered, even North Dakota. "We _won!_" she screamed. When Kansas arrived, beaming complacently at everyone, he received a huge hug and congratulations. "Dude, that was _terrific!_" Colorado yelled. "Just amazing. Damn. Kansas, you _rock_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_90_mp3**

"This... is the first confessional I've ever made. And will probably be the last, for as long as North Dakota controls my team. I... just wanted to say... I don't regret doing this show anymore. I used to. It used to be a nightmare. It still is, to some extent. But... for just a moment, being able to rock out to my favorite song... it was _incredible_. Absolutely... absolutely amazing. I was actually _me_. I wasn't North Dakota's puppet, or 'that shy kid from Team Dakota. No, not Nebraska, the _other_ shy kid'. It... it was the best thing I've done in a long, long time."

Kansas

**11:39 AM.**

"Alright, alright!" Chris yelled, waving his hands. "Settle down, kids. We've got scoring to do. According to these results, the teams' scores are..."

...

"In first place, Team Dakota, with twenty-six points!"

Another cheer rose from the six. Chris raised a hand haltingly, and continued, "Tied for second, Teams Democracy and Victory both received twenty-_four_ points! In third place, we have Team America with eighteen points, and in last place... Team Touchdown. Eleven points out of thirty possible. Sorry, Touchdown, but you're going to the voting ceremony tonight!"

The seven groaned, dreading the possibility of losing another teammate. Chris beamed, amused. "Fantastic. Is anyone else hungry as hell? I'm sure there's a fast food place around here somewhere. Into the buses, everyone!"

**12:14 PM.**

Thirty contestants all crowded into an already packed McDonald's in downtown Cleveland. The previous customers had all been led out by police escorts, as this _was,_ in fact, a television show cast. As staff frantically prepared three dozen meals, everyone clumped together, regardless of team designation. It was chaos, sure, but nobody cared; everyone was discussing the victories and songs performed by the five singers.

"Delaware..." New Jersey began, taking a seat in a grimy, plastic chair next to her. "You were _amazing_. Like, wow. That way you sang Amazing Grace, it was like... my _heart_ was ready to _jump out_. Y'know what I mean?"

"Sure..." Delaware responded, cautiously sipping from her iced tea. "Whatever you say, Jersey."

"No, like... you were _beautiful_ up there..."

"Mhmmm. You've informed me multiple times."

As New Jersey persistently and determinedly hit on Delaware, North Dakota shielded her team away from everyone, even though a number of people from the other teams were desperate to talk to Kansas, who had become something of a celebrity after his rocking performance. Everybody wanted to talk to him.

"Stay back!" North Dakota yelled. "Our team doesn't need _any_ interference from the lesser teams. Keep away."

"Awww, come _on!_" Georgia whined. "He's... he's just _so cool!_"

North Dakota sneered at Georgia, and told her, "Try living with this kid for two months. He and Nebraska sleep with a night light on. Now move away, or I'll - I'll spill this drink all over you all."

Slowly, the crowd dissipated, leaving only disappointed girls. California huffed, and returned to Team Victory. "No luck," she reported, pouting. "He's... amazing. I would, like, _so_ have him for a boyfriend... how am I the hottest girl on this show, and yet I don't have a boyfriend yet?"

New Mexico shrugged, arm around Arizona. "No clue," he admitted, and popped a fry into his mouth. "But I _do_ know something. And that's the fact that Arizona is the most _amazing_ singer I know. Who cares about Kansas? He is _nothing_ compared to my girl."

California groaned, and slammed her head down lightly on the plastic table. "Ugh. Gawd. You two are so freakishly _adorable_ together."

Oregon dug into a salad. In between bites, he mentioned, "Washington told me the other day that Team Dakota's, like... like a dictatorship. Is that true? I always thought North Dakota was a mean girl, but... a _dictatorship?_"

Washington shrugged, sitting beside Oregon and eating a small hamburger. "Looks that way," he mumbled. "And she's really, really smart, mind you. Probably a lot smarter than me. I'd just stay away from her until we _have_ to deal with her."

Oregon then glanced nervously at Washington, and corrected, "Uh, I'm pretty sure _you're_ way smarter than her, Washington. This is _the_ most fun team. That much is for sure."

California's gaze drifted up to flick between Oregon and Washington. "Oh my gaaawd..." she muttered, nearly laying her head on a bed of salad. "I revoke my earlier statement. _You_ two are the most freakishly adorable together."

Washington stared bemusedly at California between mid-bite, as Oregon blushed furiously and instead diverted his attention to his half-eaten salad. Hawaii raised an eyebrow.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_91_mp3**

"Why does _everybody_ think Washington and I are a thing? I - this is the second time! The first time was ages ago, and it was from people that weren't even from my team, but... I... I'm not gay! I'm, um, really not! I just... I don't know. I just really like Washington's company. He's smart."

Oregon

**7:01 PM.**

"Hurry it up!" Chris yelled. "I haven't got all night, and right now we are _seriously_ pushing the film budget. Only thirty minutes per episode, kids! How are we supposed to fit all this footage into it?"

He received no response from the seven members of Team Touchdown, who all patiently awaited Chris's verdict on who was going home. There was an air of tension in the air; evidently a lot of people suspected Mississippi, but she was Alabama's girlfriend...

"When I call your name, you get a snack, blah-blah-blah," Chris began, evidently not really wanting to go into specifics. "The person who is voted off _cannot_ come back. So... sorry about that. Alabama, Georgia, and Louisiana! No votes."

Three tiny packets of Skittles were tossed to the safe contestants' way. Chris surveyed the remaining four, and shouted, "Tennessee... and Texas! No votes for either of _you!_ Looks like all the votes were directed between two people tonight. It's a little weird, but whatever."

Snacks were thrown, leaving only Mississippi... and Arkansas. Chris appeared grim. "Mississippi lost the challenge for this team!" he yelled. "However... she is _protected_ by a few of the most powerful members of this team. So... there's a problem there. Possibly an alliance is forming. Who knows. Arkansas, on the other hand, has widely been seen as a detriment to the team for the past two months. The only guy that's quiet can be _very_ easy to single out. However... the final bag of Doritos goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"...Mississippi."

The girl breathed a huge sigh of relief, as the bag landed into her waiting arms. Tennessee sprang up, and cried, "_Hey!_ Arkansas didn't even _do_ anything! Wh - why's _he_ going home? He's so nice!"

No tears were shed. Arkansas waved a hand gently, and murmured, "It's okay. I don't... I don't really mind. I've kind of been missing home, actually-"

"But _Mississippi's_ the one who should be going home!" Tennessee continued to protest. Louisiana nodded her head in agreement, but the others didn't seem to agree.

Arkansas lifted a heavy duffel bag from the depths of the bus, and saluted everybody. "Nice knowing all of you guys!" he said. "It's been a lot of fun. Um... good luck, team."

With that, he set off towards the cab in the distance, leaving a grim silence over the parking lot. The alliance that had condemned Arkansas off the team was growing slightly more powerful. Its presence could no longer be ignored.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_92_mp3**

"I kinda feel bad 'bout tellin' Tex, Miss'ssippi, an' Georgia to vote off Arkansas. He... he was a cool dude, I'll admit that much. But hell if I'm lettin' anyone take out my girlfriend. An' I mean that. She's everything to me. So, _sorry_ if I think she's a _little_ more important than some little... little nerd who I don't even know that well. Alright? Sorry."

Alabama

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, and Arkansas.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Winkie4, Curcle, and GrassBlade-Chan!

**aspiringAnimator** - That moment when you try to type the word "song" but accidentally type "dong" and make yourself laugh out loud. And then you hate yourself slightly more because you just laughed at the fact that you accidentally typed the word "dong".

Onto the news. See those parentheses up there in the "Current Teams"? That's an alliance. I'm now including it any time an alliance is made officially. Expect more of that, especially as the teams grow ever-smaller before the merge.

Also, I _highly_ recommend you listen to the song Kansas sung. It's called The Last Dance, by the Limousines. It's not bad, and it probably makes this chapter make more sense when you can actually recognize that song.

Keep reviewing, and you _too_ can earn a spot on that list up above me! I like the response it's gotten so far. Are you terrified out of your wits about reviewing? Well, review as a guest! I still include guest reviews in that list. Anyways, until next time, everyone! I am beginning to pride myself on actually making the update on schedule every single deadline.


	23. Hypnophobia

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas**)**, Georgia, Louisiana, and Tennessee.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - **(**Illinois and Indiana**)** and **(**Maryland and Virginia**)**.

**EPISODE 22: HYPNOPHOBIA**

_"You guys are _really_ depressing. Did I say that before? Because you are." - Chris_

**Monday, September 15th, 2014. Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas. 9:56 AM.**

Silence. A forest awoke slowly, cool breezes rustling its yellow leaves, until-

WHOOSH. Five long black buses sped by, heading to destinations unknown. Twenty-nine contestants remained on the show. Slowly... the buses were becoming devoid of people. No longer were they the bustling, crowded vehicles they once were.

For example, in Team Touchdown's bus, almost half of all the beds were empty now. It was growing depressing, seeing your bunk mate disappear one night, never to return, leaving only a tidy mattress behind.

It was actually rather scary.

As a sleepy, mid-September sun rose over the hills of Arkansas, Tennessee met with Georgia and Louisiana in the middle of the bus rather secretively.

"Okay, y'all," Tennessee whispered to the other two girls. "We got a problem.

Louisiana nodded furtively, while Georgia just looked confused. Tennessee frowned, yet continued, "It's real obvious by now... that there's somethin' of an alliance between Bama, his girlfriend, and his friend Tex. An' if we don't all wanna get voted off one by one before we even get to the merge... I think we ought to do somethin' 'bout it."

"I gotta agree," Louisiana murmured, glancing at the front of the bus at the intern driving it. "I mean... they hardly ever even speak to us anymore, or invite us to their... their card games. It's like we're hardly even on the team!"

"They have card games?" Georgia rather stupidly asked, and was shushed by Tennessee. "Point is," Tennessee reiterated, "there's three of us... and three of them. We got the upper hand, 'cause they don't know we're plannin' anythin'. But one side's goin' down, one way or another. An' I intend it not to be us."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_93_mp3**

"I absolutely _hate_ the fact that this team's... kinda fallin' apart. Used to, everyone was friends... it ain't like this on the other teams, right?"

Louisiana

**11:12 AM.**

"I need relationship advice, yo."

It was nearing the middle of the day in Team Democracy's bus, which rolled along the hills of Arkansas slowly, approaching their destination already, even though it was only Monday.

New Jersey approached Connecticut, looking serious. When Connecticut didn't respond, he groaned. "Connecticut. Yo. You hear me?"

"Huh?" Connecticut suddenly asked, whose nose was deep inside a thick Harry Potter book. "Oh. Sorry, Jersey. I was a tad busy. What do you want?"

"I... I need advice."

Connecticut scooted over on the bus's couch, allowing New Jersey to sit beside him. "What kind of advice?" he asked, curious, and not predicting the answer.

"...relationship advice," New Jersey revealed vaguely. Connecticut smiled a little, and looked down toward his book, shutting it. "You were smart to come to me, then. If you hadn't noticed, I'm the only person on this team with any romantic experience on this show."

When New Jersey looked doubtful at Connecticut's seriousness, Connecticut elaborated, "Okay, _sure_, it only lasted less than twelve hours, and she doesn't even like me anymore, and she's _gone_, but... I can help you out. It's about Delaware, isn't it?"

New Jersey nodded pitifully, completely shedding his "tough guy" exterior. Connecticut looked sympathetic, and murmured, "I assume I'm not the first person you went to for help."

He then shook his head pointedly. "Right..." Connecticut muttered. "Well... here's some advice. Right now, she kind of... seems... I dunno. Put off by you, I guess. You're kind of up-in-her-face about a lot of things."

New Jersey looked confused, and simply grabbed Connecticut's shirt desperately, stating nervously, "Yo, I - I know, I know, but - just - _tell me _what I'm doin' wrong. Exactly what I'm doin'! Tell me what to _do!_ N - New York told me to - to just _lay off_ her... Massachusetts says to 'follow my heart', whatever the hell that means - just _tell me exactly what it is I gotta do_. I can't be seen by my bros back home without a girl for two months now. It ain't happenin'."

Connecticut shakily backed away from New Jersey, and flattened his slightly crumpled t-shirt. "Well..." Connecticut muttered, pondering the question. "I guess... if _nothing_ else is working... you could always try harder."

...

"Try... _harder?_ You mean I ain't even tryin' _hard_ enough?"

"Could be," Connecticut reasoned, opening up his book again. "Be persistent about it, I guess. And be forward. That's how I got hooked up with Rhode Island. I just came out and told her."

New Jersey nodded slowly to that, as if he finally understood everything now. "I gotta... I gotta try _harder_ to win her heart..." he muttered, thinking deeply.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_94_mp3**

"Man, Connecticut's a real cool dude. He's the one who's actually _helpin'_ me with Delaware. Everyone else was just tellin' me to 'follow my heart' and 'do what's right'. Man, screw that garbage. Connecticut's right. That's not how I got chicks back home."

New Jersey

**1:21 PM.**

"Everybody out!" Chris ordered on that Monday afternoon. "We've got a _challenge to do!_"

Virginia groaned as she stepped out of her bus with the other three members of her team. "_Today?_" she asked incredulously. "We're doin' one today? We just _had_ one yesterday! It's Monday, Chris."

Chris grinned slyly to Virginia, and countered, "Well... this challenge is gonna take a few days to do. I'm calling it the Hypnophobia challenge. Hahahah."

Hawaii raised a hand, and proceeded to ask, "Yo, what's hypno... hyp... hypnobolia mean?"

"It's pronounced 'Hypnophobia'," Chris informed him, "and it means 'the fear of sleep'. Or at least, that's what Google told me a few minutes ago when I looked it up. Now, from that... can anyone guess what the challenge is?"

North Dakota raised her hand knowingly, smirking at the other contestants with their hands raised. "We're doing an 'Awake-A-Thon'," she stated as a matter-of-factly. "I remember the show did one in the very first season. Very creative, Chris. Using a challenge you've _already come up with before_."

Chris frowned at North Dakota, a little annoyed, yet confirmed it. "Yes!" he declared, eyeing North Dakota suspiciously. "An 'Awake-A-Thon'. First team to have all of their contestants fall asleep loses. Last team wins. This time, I'm at least hoping it'll last a few days. At _least_."

He then gestured vaguely to the forests around all of them. "This is your campground!" he declared. "There are cameras _everywhere_ here. If you gotta pee, there are bathrooms in the buses, as well as everything you might need. Coffee _is_ allowed... but I'm _very_ certain it'll become a valued commodity, because of how little there is in there. Materials for tents can be found in a few of the storage cabinets in the buses. Please, everyone, settle in. This challenge... is gonna take a long time. Don't fall asleep."

A few contestants began to retreat back into the buses, to retrieve some items they evidently needed. Chris pulled out his cell phone, and announced, "I'm ordering some pizza. I saw a Papa John's on the way over here. Is cheese alright with everyone?"

"I'm lactose intolerant!" Nebraska suddenly shouted out. Chris's eyebrows raised, as he muttered, "Don't care. Cheese for everyone, then. Got it. They'll be here soon."

**3:14 PM.**

The twenty-nine states were all sitting around a camp fire, chowing down from several dozen boxes of pizza. Chris was sitting in a lawn chair, wearing sunglasses, and attempting in vain to tan with his shirt off in the September sun. Several chairs and couches had been dragged out of the buses and into the clearing in the middle of the forest. The entirety of Team Victory and a few members from Democracy and Touchdown were all playing Duck-Duck-Goose.

"Duck... duck... duck..." Alabama muttered, walking around the circle. It was fairly obvious who he was going to pick, as Mississippi bounced where she sat excitedly. The two had been hogging all the turns, each picking the other every time.

As Alabama was getting ready to tap Mississippi on the head, Washington cleared his throat loudly, and quietly said, "Um... hey, guy from Touchdown... maybe it's an okay idea to... pick someone else for a change? Y'know... so we can all play."

A ton of people sitting in the circle started nodding their heads. Alabama was surprised there was ever a problem, yet consented, finally picking Maine. Surprisingly, she caught him, forcing Alabama to sit in the middle of the circle of contestants until god knew when.

"I think this is a pretty fun challenge!" New Mexico suddenly said, sunglasses glinting as Maine tapped lightly on everyone's heads, mumbling "Duck..." as she did so. "Like," New Mexico continued, "we don't gotta do much. All we need to do is not fall asleep."

Suddenly, Massachusetts from Team Democracy gasped, and dropped his pizza slice. "Holy crap, you guys," he quickly said, peering down at his fallen pizza. "What if the pizza is laced with - with _sleeping drugs_ or something?"

Slowly, everyone put down their pizzas, no longer hungry. "That... wow, that really does sound like something Chris would do..." Arizona mused worriedly. "I hope that's not the case."

Chris heard that, and promptly yelled from his plastic lawn chair, "Wow, thanks guys. You can't even trust me to give you pizza any more. Wooow. Also, that's not really a bad idea..."

"_Chris!_"

"I'm _kidding_. Probably."

**11:41 PM.**

The sun had set by now. A roaring campfire crackled in the middle of all the contestants. A perfect half-moon hung above everyone. Most people were reading books, sitting around the fire roasting marshmallows, or playing board games. Or... they were already asleep.

Such was the case with four contestants already: Georgia, Mississippi, Maryland, and California. All four girls had fallen asleep right when they typically would, if this weren't a challenge. California had even argued that she needed to get her "beauty sleep".

For everyone else, though, it was all a matter of staying awake that was the challenge. For this, New York, Massachusetts, Maine, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and Delaware all played a game of Risk together. New Jersey just sort of hovered above them, pointing out mistakes and hitting on Delaware every few minutes, to the encouragement of Connecticut.

"It's your turn, York," Connecticut reminded, holding the dice out for him. "Yeah, I know," New York responded, peering down at his army. "How many troops do I get this round?"

"I dunno. I think you get... like, twelve."

"Mmmk."

New Jersey leaned over the board, and asked, "Wow, you're really trying to take Asia?"

"You're not playing, Jersey."

"Well, I mean, y'know... yo, it just... most of Delaware's territory is there, and-"

He was interrupted by a rather loud huff from Delaware. "New Jersey," she began, during her rare moments of irritation, "I really don't need your help right now. Please... just... find another team to play with. The top number of players in Risk is six..."

When New Jersey didn't respond, Delaware pointed towards Team Victory, and said, "Why don't you go play with them? They're playing Apples to Apples."

New Jersey took a few plodding steps back, and mumbled, "No, yeah, I know, I'll... I'll go, um... do that..."

...

"Alright," Hawaii said, holding up a green card. "The card says 'Tamed' on it. Be creative, guys. Give me something funny."

As Washington frowned, New Mexico held up a red card. "'Jennifer Lopez'," he announced, and handed the card over. Hawaii started laughing.

"So, this is like Cards Against Humanity, but not dirty?" Arizona asked, looking over her deck of cards. Hawaii nodded, and said, "Sort of. Except we don't go in turns, the green card goes to whoever wins."

"I've got one for 'Tamed'," Washington decided, and held out a card. "'My Personality'."

Hawaii was now shaking with laughter, and gasped, "Oh, wooow. Sorry, guys, but Washington takes the cake with this one-"

"Awww, I didn't even get to show mine," Oregon whined, as Washington selected a green card from the deck. "The card is... 'Angry'," he announced. "Show me something that makes you 'Angry'. Make me laugh!"

Suddenly the five noticed a figure approaching. Arizona squinted, and whispered, "Who's that?"

It was none other than New Jersey, of course. He awkwardly stood there, arms folded, looking incredibly nervous. "Hi," was all he said.

"Um. Hi," Washington said with a small wave. "You need something? Wait... you're... Connecticut... right?"

"No," he said quickly, shaking his head. "I'm, um... New Jersey. From, uh... Team Democracy..."

Washington then peeked behind New Jersey to look at the team. "Oh. They're playing Risk," he commented. "And Risk is... six players only, so..."

"So... I'm here..." New Jersey finished. "Hi, again."

Oregon patted the ground next to him gently, smiling. "You're welcome to join us," he offered. New Jersey hesitated, but finally sat down. "So..." he mumbled. "What are you guys... playing?"

"Apples to Apples," Arizona said, looking over her cards that would work for the word "Angry". "It's like Cards Against Humanity, but cleaner."

"Gotcha, gotcha..." New Jersey said slowly, taking a few red cards from the stack. "So... somethin' that makes you... angry?" he asked incredulously.

"Mhmm," Washington affirmed, as New Mexico handed him a card that said "Marriage", which only elicited a small chuckle from Washington.

Hawaii offered "Basketballs", which didn't make any sense. After a long pause, Oregon gave Washington "Taxes". Arizona only offered up the word "Adolf Hitler". When it was finally New Jersey's turn, he turned in a card that said "Chris McLean".

There was a long silence, broken only by Washington eventually saying, "Wow. There's... there's _actually_ a Chris McLean card in here?"

New Mexico looked down at the deck of red cards, and remarked, "There's _lots_ of celebrities in here. I'm not surprised." To that, Washington shrugged, and took the "Chris McLean" card. "Well, that one wins, then," he said. "I can't possibly think of a better fitting card than that one. Here you go, um... New Jersey. You get to draw a green card."

"Hear, hear!" Arizona giggled, as New Jersey drew a green card that had the word "Expensive" on it.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_95_mp3**

"I dunno... I'm... I'm not really feelin' it with these Team Victory people. I mean, sure, they're real nice guys, all of them, but... it just feels awkward, since I'm not even on their team. And I could _tell_ they felt sorry for me when they though I was left out! And I _wasn't_ left out of my own team! I was just... y'know... late to the Risk party."

New Jersey

**Tuesday, September 16th, 2014. Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas. 8:07 AM.**

A warm morning sun peeked through the tall pine trees of Hot Springs National Park. Over a dozen contestants slept soundly on the ground, not even making it through the first night. Chris was nowhere to be found; he was likely asleep in his own trailer a mile from here.

Only Alabama and Louisiana remained from Team Touchdown. In Team America, Indiana was quite literally the only person to not fall asleep, as she calmly sketched and listened to her iPod. In Team Touchdown, Maine, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania had all fallen asleep. Team Victory still had only one sleeper, California. However, in Team Dakota, the only person who had been permitted to sleep was South Dakota. Everyone else was wide awake.

"Keep _sharp_, you guys," North Dakota snapped, brandishing a long wooden cane at her four loyal followers. "If I catch any of you falling asleep, and we lose, then you're getting voted off."

"Yes, Glorious Leader," Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, and Oklahoma all simultaneously responded, looking straight ahead. North Dakota seemed satisfied, and rubbed her eyes. "God. I'm getting tired."

Just then, Illinois groggily lifted his head from the forest floor, peering around and brushing sticks and dirt off his hair. "Ow..." he muttered. "Did I fall asleep?"

Indiana nodded in response. "All of you guys did," she murmured. "One by one. Maryland, Virginia, and then you, Illinois. _Nice going_."

"The sarcasm isn't necessary, y'know," he responded sleepily, and yawned. "Jeez," he continued. "Well, you haven't fallen asleep, at least. Just don't, alright? We can't lose another challenge."

"Ah. Oh boy, a challenge that completely depends on me now," she droned, looking a little bored. "Sounds like _fun_."

Illinois shot Indiana a glare, and glanced nervously at the still unconscious figures of Virginia and Maryland.

Over on another edge of the clearing, a discarded game of Apples to Apples sat. In its place, Arizona was teaching all of the boys on her team how to knit. The only person who had actually made any good progress was Oregon, who claimed to have knit scarves before.

"Mine's stuck again..." Hawaii muttered, looking at his knitting needles. "This is impossible."

"No, look, it's not!" Oregon insisted, holding up his own half-completed length of fabric. "I made a little criss-cross design along the middle... it just takes a lot of patience."

New Mexico yawned, stretching. "I dunno, guys... this challenge's pretty boring," he muttered. "Any of you guys want some food? I'm thinkin' of heading back into the bus for some Hot Pockets or something."

"I'll take one," Washington murmured, as Hawaii raised his hand as well.

**7:30 PM.**

The second day was nearly over. At this point, Alabama was the only contestant from Team Touchdown. In Team Democracy, the only remaining contestants were New York, Delaware, and Massachusetts. New Jersey had just fallen asleep, curled into a ball a short distance away. Oregon and Arizona had fallen in Team Victory, joining California, who had since woke up. Things were a little different in Team Dakota, however.

"Come _on!_" North Dakota screamed, kicking Kansas in the gut, who was lying unconscious in the grass. "Wake _up!_ You are _not_ falling asleep on me, kid."

"Hey, hey, hey, leave him alone," Colorado intervened, trying to get North Dakota to stop, but she just turned on him instead. "Don't _tell_ me what to do!" she snapped. "All _you_ need to do is focus on staying awake."

"Hey, um... be easy on them, sis," South Dakota murmured, climbing out of her team's bus. She evidently had been awake for a while. "They don't deserve that kind of treatment..."

North Dakota groaned, and slid her cane back into its "holster". "_Fine_," North Dakota moaned. "But they should be pulling their weight. Seriously. This is unacceptable."

South Dakota rolled her eyes a little irritably at her sister, and grabbed a blanket from the bus, lying it over Kansas. "And don't forget, he _did_ win us the challenge just two days ago," she reminded North Dakota. "Just saying. Maybe Kansas deserves a little more respect."

It was North Dakota's turn to roll her eyes, as she strode off, kicking a can in her way. "Whatever."

Just then, Chris climbed out of a limo, smiling brightly at the contestants. Half of everyone was lying on the ground, asleep, but awoke when they heard-

"_HELLO, CONTESTANTS!_" Chris shouted into a bullhorn, making a few people squeal out of fear. "_JUST A QUICK EVENING STATUS UPDATE! JUST TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW._"_  
><em>

The bullhorn was shut off, as Chris grinned around at everyone. Most people had immediately woken up at his yell, terrified at the fact that they'd accidentally fallen asleep, letting down their teams.

"Ahem!" Chris began. "It's seven thirty-two PM of the second night! Currently, eleven contestants are still awake! They are as follows: Alabama, from Team Touchdown... New York, Massachusetts, and Delaware from Team Democracy... Washington, New Mexico, and Hawaii from Team Victory... and North Dakota, Oklahoma, Colorado, and Nebraska from Team Dakota! Which means-"

"_Hey!_" Illinois shouted, interrupting Chris. "You forgot Indiana. She's still awake."

Chris grinned at Illinois, clearly very amused. "Is that so?" he asked. "Why not take a look at her real quick for me?"

Slowly, Illinois revolved on the spot to look at Indiana. She was propped up against a large boulder in a sitting position. However, there was something very wrong with her head. It was tilted at a forty-five degree angle. And she was snoring. Illinois face palmed.

"_Which means_..." Chris continued, as though he were never interrupted, "Team America has officially lost the challenge, because all four of its contestants have fallen asleep before the other teams!"

Sleepy cheers went up into the air from everyone else. Illinois stared defeatedly at Indiana's unconscious form. "Does that mean the challenge is over?" New York asked eagerly. Chris grinned further.

"Nope!" he responded. "In fact, to keep this going for a _little_ while longer... I've devised a, uh... sort of _reward_ for the team to last the _longest_ in this challenge. Behold!"

Five boxes filled to the brim with electronics were currently being hauled out of a truck by some interns. Chris beamed at everyone. "For the team to last the longest," he began, "every team member will gain unrestricted use of their cellular devices until the weekend! How's that sound?"_  
><em>

There was a long silence, as everyone stared eagerly at the electronics. "Well! That's all I have to share with you kids for now," Chris then said, looking around at everyone with another grin. "I'm heading back to the trailer. _Don't_ fall asleep."

**Wednesday, September 17th, 2014. Hot Springs National Park, Arkansas. 4:48 PM.**

A third sun began to descend towards the horizon once more. It was now Wednesday.

Over fifty hours had passed since the beginning of the challenge. Most people had fallen asleep by now, and had woken up again, and had gotten on with their lives, mainly just hanging out in their buses as usual. Except for three remaining contestants.

New York.

North Dakota.

Washington.

Those three had endured sleep deprivation beyond measure, absolutely desperate to win the prize for their team. After North Dakota's strategy of "beat everybody who falls asleep with a cane" failed, she set out to be the one to win for her team. New York, was propelled by ambitions to be the hero and win back the phones and electronics for his team. Washington, on the other hand, simply seemed used to staying awake, though this was clearly much longer than usual.

The point of the challenge, of course, had been to stay awake as long as possible. But at this point, Chris was absolutely sick to death of it.

"_Alright!_" he screamed at everyone rather unexpectedly. "You _win!_"

New York blinked, eyes shadowy and struggling to stay open. "We... we what?" he asked stupidly.

"You win," Chris muttered, sighing. "I honestly didn't think anyone would get anywhere past last night. But _Jesus_, you guys! Why won't you fall _asleep__?_"

Washington just offered a shrug. North Dakota appeared offended. Chris waved a hand carelessly, and announced, "Team Democracy, Team Dakota, and Team Victory have all won use of their phones and electronics until this weekend. Team Touchdown, sorry, but Alabama fell asleep this morning, so your team doesn't get any. As for the _losing_ team..."

Chris then faced the four members of Team America, grinning maliciously. "_Wow,_" was all he began with. "Really. You kids just _love_ voting. _You_ guys should have gone with the name Democracy! It'd be so much more fitting."

Indiana groaned, rubbing her head tiredly. Illinois glared at his three teammates, right until Chris clapped his hands, and yelled, "Chop, chop! Time for voting. Interns... interns, go dish out their stuff to the winning teams. As for Team America, get in the bus. We're going for a quick drive to the nearest parking lot available."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_96_mp3**

"Ohhh, no. No, no, no. This is bad. This is _really_ bad. I think our team might still be cursed. As in, _somehow_, Michigan's legacy still lives with us, regardless of the fact that Ohio's gone. _Damn!_ Why does our team just _suck_ so bad?"

Illinois

**5:15 PM.**

One bus roared through the Arkansas countryside. Team America's. There wasn't much time before it would be stopped, votes would be cast, and one of the four remaining would be going home.

Everybody was panicking. There was no way this was ending well.

"It was _your fault!_" Virginia cried at Illinois. "You - you've kept this team _apart_ with your _stupid alliances!_ It was better under Ohio! At least he kept us together!"

"Oh, _please!_" Illinois shouted. "This is ridiculous. There _are_ no alliances. Get that crazy idea out of your head. And if it's _anybody's_ fault, it's _yours,_ Virginia. You actually were _friends_ with Ohio."

"What's _that_ got to do with anything?"

"_GUYS!_" Indiana shouted from her position on the couch. "Shut _up!_ I'm trying to read here."

Virginia threw her arms off exasperatedly. "Screw this..." she muttered. "I'm gonna go find Maryland."

"Oh, sure!" Illinois called after her as she ran out. "Go run to your _alliance partner_. What a great fat lot of good that'll do."

Illinois rubbed his head vigorously, and proceeded to kick a table. "_AGH!_" he screamed. "This is _terrible_. It's a dead tie between the four of us. Two of us and two of them."

"You say 'us' like I'm actually _allied_ with you," Indiana pointed out, looking uninterested. Illinois groaned, and yelled, "Do you just not _care_, Indiana? Is that what it's like to be you? You just don't care about _anything? _Well, _boy howdy,_ that would be _swell_ if I didn't have to care about the show. It's just a _game!_ It's not like there's a _million dollars at stake here!_ And my reputation!"

Indiana scoffed, muttering, "_What_ reputation? Is it your rep for being such a huge pervert and weirdo all the time? Because you have _all_ the 'reputation' in that department."

"Shut up. I'm trying to think."

A few moments went by. Illinois sighed. "I just don't see a way past any of this," he whined. "The voting part, I mean. The two of us will pick one of them to vote off. And they'll pick one of us to vote off. It's a _dead end tie_ either way."

"Maybe that means nobody'll be voted off."

Illinois laughed at loud at Indiana's comment. "Right. And I'm Winston Churchill. Trust me, Indiana, _someone's getting voted off_. And I'm not going to let it be one of us."

**6:57 PM.**

"_Hello_, soon-to-be triplet!" Chris greeted the four members of Team America. "Have a good nap after that challenge?" he asked. "Well, doesn't matter. One of the four of you is going home."

There was a long silence after that remark. Chris narrowed his eyes. "Well, let's get started. I'm just gonna come out and say before we start that this was an exact tie. Two votes for Virginia. Two votes for Illinois."

This was to be expected, of course. Nobody was surprised. "However," Chris continued, "we _do_ have methods to break ties on this show. Interestingly enough, I've never had to use it before now! You guys remember drawing _straws_, right?"

Chris produced four straws in his hand. The bottoms couldn't be seen. The tops all _looked_ like equal heights, but if anything was known about drawing straws, it was that one of them was way shorter than the others. Chris smiled malevolently. "I took a look at some of the footage I missed!" he mentioned. "And in that plane challenge - boy, what a catastrophe _that_ was - I noticed you guys drew straws to figure out who was flying. So now, you'll be drawing straws to figure out who's leaving! Neat, huh?"

Illinois gulped. "Let's just get this over with..." he mumbled, and took a straw. In his hand, it was incredibly hard to tell how long it was, because there were no other straws to compare it to. Indiana rolled her eyes, muttered, "This is stupid..." and plucked a second straw from Chris's hand. It was the same length as Illinois's.

"Ah! Look at that!" Chris said, pointing at the two straws held by Illinois and Indiana. "Looks like neither of them are going home. So... that means..."

He rounded on Virginia and Maryland. Behind him, Illinois was silently fist-pumping the air in triumph. There was a brief silence as Chris offered the two remaining straws. It was utterly impossible to tell which was shorter.

"Guess... I'll... take..." Virginia began, sucking in her breath. "..._this_ one..."

She pulled it out of Chris's hand, and compared it to the ones Illinois and Indiana pulled out.

It was the same size.

Maryland was left with the last one. When she pulled _it_ out... it was about two inches shorter than all the others.

"Uh oh!" Chris yelled, grinning at the simply hilarious result. "Looks like Maryland got the short one!"

Virginia sighed in defeat, as Maryland merely shrugged, trying to downplay what had just happened to her. Tears were beginning to collect in her eyes. Without so much as another word, she retreated back into the bus to fetch her things. Chris's eyebrows were doing some sort of dance as he tried to gauge the proper reaction to all this.

"Looks... like... Maryland's going home, then?" he suggested. Moments later, and Maryland had her bright pink backpack on her back, filled with everything she brought on the show. "Bye, guys..." she whispered. And then, she hugged Virginia, who was a little bit bigger than her.

Illinois was looking slightly guilty, as Maryland gave a friendly good-bye wave to Indiana. She then walked right past Illinois, and towards the taxi in the distance.

Chris sighed, and looked over the remaining three contestants of Team America: Indiana, Virginia, and Illinois. "You guys are _really_ depressing," he mentioned again. "Did I say that before? Because you are. Stop losing challenges, you guys! The fans are getting upset. Anyway. Back into the buses, I guess. It's time to meet up with everyone else."

As Chris climbed into his limo, Illinois stopped Virginia right before she was about to board the bus. "What? What is it?" she asked, looking a little afraid. She was, after all, outnumbered two-to-one. Illinois merely smiled in return. "I just wanted to say that you're forgiven," he told her. "For... ah... straying from the flock. But your alliance partner is gone now, and after a brief consideration, I... have decided to let you become formally partnered with me and Indiana."

"I see..." Virginia mused, looking a little worried. "So lemme get this straight. I got no choice in this. You're letting me back into your group because you _need_me, not because you like who I am or anything. And on top of all that, if our team loses again, I'll be the first to be voted off. Is that close?"

Illinois's eyes narrowed. "Just watch your step," he warned. "I'm doing this because I'm _nice,_ not because I want to or anything. But also, because unity makes teams strong."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_97_mp3**

"I'm no idiot. Not accepting Virginia back would be suicidal. I mean, I've only got _Indiana_ on my side, for crying out loud. This team is literally _nothing_ anymore. But... make the best with what you're given. Having Virginia on my side _does_ mean unity. And if we want to survive to the merge, _unity_ is what'll stop us from losing again, and again, and again. This can't be the losing team. It just can't be."

Illinois

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, and Maryland.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** TheWriterGirl09271998 and Winkie4!

**aspiringAnimator -** Fireworks go off. I bow grandly, and unveil a giant white curtain. But alas! 'Tis only yet another episode of The Fifty State Roadtrip. Everybody is really disappointed and walks away.

Here's your Wednesday episode on schedule! I hope I don't really screw up my grades by spending so much time on these. I'm in AP, y'know. But hey, this is only for another three months, and if I can handle two and a half, then I can handle another three.

Please review! You'll get your name up there, and BOOM. Everybody knows you. Wow. The crowd goes wild with your name. "Yes," they cry in unison. "That is great. We love that. Show us your name again." You can't ignore their requests. You _have_ to review. Your name _must_ go on that list for generations to come.


	24. The September Debates

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Georgia, Louisiana, and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 23: THE SEPTEMBER DEBATES**

_"I know what's goin' on." - Texas_

**Sunday, September 21st, 2014. Baltimore, Maryland. 9:11 AM.**

Baltimore.

In the mid 17th century, Lord Baltimore received a charter to establish a colony north of the Chesapeake Bay area, intended as a haven for persecuted Catholics from England. Almost four hundred years later, and it's one of the most diverse cities on the Atlantic coast.

"Hey! Wait up!" Hawaii yelled to his team as they walked along the crowded downtown streets of Baltimore. A light, chilly sprinkle of rain was coming down from stark steel clouds. Huge skyscrapers loomed all around them, as did tall businessmen, who seemed to regard the crowd of twenty-something teenagers as a nuisance, rather than international celebrities.

"Guys, there's a Macy's up here!" Oregon announced. "We can't just skip _all_ the shops! Come _on!_ California and I will only be a second!"

As California and Oregon both ran into the huge department store, the rest of Team Victory groaned as the other teams passed them by, sightseeing during a rare moment that Chris hadn't assigned them to stay in the bus.

"God, it's cold out here..." Washington muttered, shrinking into his deep blue scarf. "I don't get it. We don't need to go shopping at _every_ place we see."

"To be fair, though," Arizona reminded him, "we haven't been in a big city for what feels like weeks... it's a nice change in place. And it's not like we'll ever come back to Baltimore on our own time..."

"I might!" Delaware said, walking up to them. "My aunt lives here," she informed them all. "So sometimes I get to stay at her apartment."

A few other members of Team Democracy walked up. "It's really not that cold," Maine murmured, looking up at the dark, rainy skies. "Just wait 'til some of you guys see snow. Shouldn't be long, after all."

New Mexico's face lit up at the mention of snow. "But it's September," he reminded Maine. "So... we're not getting snow for a _long_ time."

Maine shrugged, after nearly being knocked down by a suited man who seemed late to a meeting. "Trust me, these weeks will go by faster than you'd think," she murmured. "I wonder if we'll be doing a Halloween-themed challenge when that comes around."

Just then, a figure popped up, startling them all. "Hi, guys!" Chris yelled, dusting himself off. Pennsylvania squealed, and jerked back from him. "Sorry if I just gave you all a scare," he muttered, winking, "but _remember_, we've all got a challenge to do at noon today-"

"Yeah, whatever, Chris," New Jersey told him. "We're just lookin' around. It's not like we get to roam around a big city _every_ day-"

"Don't make me tell you to go stand in the corner again, Jersey!" Chris cried, looking more than outraged. "I'm just _saying_, everyone, that we all need to be at City Hall by noon for today's challenge."

"What _is_ today's challenge, anyway?" Washington asked keenly. Chris just gave a vague, mysterious shrug. "Who knows? Not me," he lied. "Just make sure everyone gets to City Hall on time, and we'll be good. Alright? Alright."

And just like that, Chris disappeared into the fray of people, like a mysterious ghost... or, rather, an incredibly douchey guy who's a sucker for drama.

**11:38 AM.**

The trio of Team America casually strode through the streets of Baltimore, looking at all the shopping and businesses all around. With them, Georgia, Louisiana, and Tennessee had tagged along, strangely enough.

"Where the hell's City Hall?" Illinois mumbled, kicking a soda can in his way. "We've been walking around for hours now in this stupid, over-sized city. My legs are killing me."

"Oh _no_, walking around in a first-world country while we're on an internationally famous TV show is just so _terrible_," Indiana remarked, smirking slightly. Illinois scowled at her, and replied, "_Really_ not in the mood for your sarcasm right now, Indiana."

The six walked in silence for a few minutes longer, utterly lost within the city of Baltimore. And then, Virginia asked, "So... _why_ are you three followin' us again? I mean, I'm not complainin', but... don't you got your _own_ team to hang out with?"

Tennessee looked down momentarily. "Um, yeah..." she mumbled. "But... I dunno, we just kind of wanted to be with a different team for a little bit... I hope y'all don't mind."

"Hey! Y'all, check it out!" Georgia exclaimed pointing at a large building a few blocks away. "Ain't that the capital building?"

Louisiana peered closer at what she was pointing at. There was a large American flag above a wide dome on the roof. "I think that's it!" she replied. "Come on! Hopefully Chris hasn't started the challenge yet..."

The six ran up to the structure, to find Chris waving at them as he stood in front of a crowd of about twenty other contestants. "There you kids are!" he yelled as the six approached. "I was about to start the challenge without you! Whatever. Sit tight, and lemme explain the challenge."

Chris stood up straight, and faced the twenty-eight contestants standing in front of him. "We're doing a debate!" he announced. "It's a little special. You must volunteer to debate on behalf of your team. It's only one person at a time, and all in order to change my opinion on a certain topic-"

"Excuse me," Washington interrupted, shrinking slightly at Chris's instantaneous glare. "But what exactly _is_ the topic-"

"I was about to _get_ to that!" Chris yelled. "The debate topic of the day is 'Which Team is Better'! You must convince me that your team is better than all the other teams. Whichever team _does_ that, in my opinion, wins! And whichever team does the worst job in my opinion, loses. Sounds like fun?"

The challenge seemed daunting to a lot of people. After all... Chris was a very, _very_ erratic guy. Chris clapped his hands, and declared, "Well. Into the court room, everybody! We've only got it rented for an hour, and this stuff costs a _ton_, so... make the most of it! Chef, escort our contestants inside!"

Everyone nervously entered, by the menacing beckoning of Chef himself. Inside, a high dome was stationed high above, letting in a gentle noon light. Ahead, a huge circular room awaited. A large podium rested in the center of the room. Far around it, dozens of chairs sat. Fifty-six feet nervously walked along the marble floors, creating little tapping noises as they walked in. "Behold!" Chris declared, gesturing to the huge room. "Cool, huh? This is where we'll be debating. Now take yours seats, kids. We need to begin."

All of the contestants started filing into the chairs surrounding the center podium, being seated according to teams. Once everyone was situated, Chris clapped his hands officially, and cried, "I need a volunteer for the opening statements!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_98_mp3**

"I didn't really _want_ to be the first volunteer, but... nobody else accepted. So everyone sitting there for over two minutes, nervously glancing at each other, so I just said, 'screw it, I'm gonna be _that guy_'. But in all, I think I did a good job of representing my team."

New York

**12:02 PM.**

"Great!" Chris shouted, after New York had finally volunteered. "Finally, we got someone to come up. Alright, New York, let's hear what you got."

New York nervously shuffled out of his chair, and towards the tall podium. Once he finally stood up there, he began to shrink slightly at the daunting task of having to face everybody on the show.

"Um. Hi," he said into the microphone nervously. "For those of you who don't know, um... I'm New York. I represent Team Democracy."

New Jersey suddenly stood from his seat, and started clapping for New York. "_Woo!_" he cried. "Go Democracy!"

"Uh, yeah, thanks, Jersey," New York said irritably, gesturing for him to sit down. "I suppose I'm here to give the opening statements. Well, Chris, if you want to know which team is best, it's obviously Team Democracy."

Slowly, everybody from all the other teams began to resent New York as he elaborated. "I mean," New York continued, "we're one of the only teams so far that hasn't completely devolved into either a dictatorship or a two-sided alliance feud. Not only that, but out of _all_ the teams, we have the most people. We've kept seven out of our initial ten. You can't say that about a team like America."

"Hey!" Illinois cried out in retaliation, but he was quieted by Chris. "Shoosh!" Chris whispered. "You can only talk when you're up on the podium."

"Like I was saying," New York continued, as if he hadn't been interrupted by Illinois. "Team Democracy... is the way to go. And sure, we're not perfect, but nobody is. If anything, though, we _are_ the most intelligent team. For example..."

New York's words were getting nowhere for a few of the contestants. In fact, Mississippi and Georgia were whispering away in the audience, chatting about the boys on the other teams.

"I don't know, Mississippi..." Georgia whispered, nervously glancing around. "What about that Connecticut kid? He had a girlfriend one time!"

"Yeah, for one day!" Mississippi reminded Georgia. "If you were his girlfriend, the same thing would probably happen to you! Think of someone else."

"Hmm..." Georgia muttered, peering around at all the other contestants in the stands as New York droned on and on. "How about... Illinois?"

Mississippi wrinkled her nose at that. "Ew," she mumbled. "Indiana told me that kid is a pervert or a weirdo or something."

"But he _did_ make it to the final three in his team-"

"Doesn't matter. Pick someone else."

Georgia groaned rather loudly. "Everybody else is taken, though!" she whispered to Mississippi. "And if they're not taken, they're a creep, or gay, or otherwise _unavailable!_ I bet Michigan would've been a nice guy..."

"Texas is always an option, Georgia..."

"Hey!" Chris suddenly yelled at the two girls, who instantly went as white as a sheet. "What did I say? No talking unless you're up on the podium!"

New York stood there for a few moments, eyeing Georgia and Mississippi suspiciously. "And that's exactly what I'm talking about," he said after nervously coming his hair with his hand. "The other teams don't take this show seriously. Chatting in the audience like that isn't good conduct. But you don't find that with Team Democracy. So... that's my point."

"Well said!" Chris acknowledged. "Does anyone want to volunteer for a rebuttal?"

Surprisingly, Virginia immediately stood up for her team, looking determined. "I do!" she announced, raising her hand. Chris shrugged, and waved her towards the podium, which New York was currently climbing down. When Virginia had finally taken her place at the tall podium, she declared, "Team America... is often seen as the underdogs. Especially lately. But does that mean we should be judged any different? Sure, we're a three person team, but the fact that we can stand up to all these other teams with just our small size speaks for itself! Hell, I'd say-"

"Objection!" North Dakota yelled, smirking slightly. Chris sighed, and said, "Objection allowed, what's your point, North Dakota?"

North Dakota stood from her chair, and said, "Team America has lost almost every challenge since that Aftermath. If they're not bickering, they're forging terrible alliances that last only for less than a week. That team's going to be the first to go. Instead, look at my team, Chris. Six people out of ten remaining, after _twenty-two challenges_ so far. What does that say? Says a lot, in my opinion."

Chris was nodding, looking a little impressed at North Dakota's tactics. "Go sit down, Virginia," he said. "Would anybody like to refute North Dakota's point and come up to the podium?"

After several agonizingly long moments, in which nobody volunteered, Massachusetts finally stood, representing his team. "Yeah. I guess I do," he muttered, climbing out of his chair, and stepping over to the tall wooden podium. Once he was ready to address everybody, he cleared his throat, and muttered, "...hi. I'm Massachusetts. We've all heard the tales of horror from Team Dakota. Just last week I heard one about how North Dakota doesn't feed her teammates, or that she has several cell phones hoarded up. Well, all those tales are true. Probably. From what I've seen thus far, Team Dakota is one of the most sickening teams to possibly have the misfortune of being on. I have the deepest sympathies for anyone who was assigned to her team."

His words resonated widely with everyone. Nebraska was looking a little guilty, evidently for abandoning his hopes of rebellion against North Dakota. North Dakota, on the other hand, was looking incredibly, increasingly pissed at Massachusetts.

"New York was right in his words about Team Democracy," Massachusetts continued, looking a little more nervous now. "We're _the__ largest_ team in the game. That has to speak for itself. We have _survived_."

"Very nice, Massachusetts!" Chris complimented. "Take a seat. Anybody want to come up next?"

Louisiana raised a hand. "I would like to represent Team Touchdown!" she declared. Chris pointed at Massachusetts for him to climb down from the podium, and directed Louisiana to go take her place. "Right," she said once she was finally in place. "I'm Louisiana."

...

"Anyway," she continued, looking slightly flustered, "Team Touchdown is the best team, 'cause, um... because we ain't... fake?"

Chris didn't look impressed. "Like," Louisiana explained, "none of us are tryin' to be someone that we ain't. We're real. We're not like the other teams. _And_, we have a _little _more than _three members_."

Illinois scoffed at that, but didn't say anything for fear of being called out by Chris again. Chris waited a few more seconds, and then asked, "Is that all?", to which Louisiana nodded her head stiffly. "Well, alright, then," Chris decided, and checked his watch. "Let's see... it's about twelve thirty, so... let's all take a lunch break!"

Everyone cheered inside the huge, echoing room. "Who's the caterer?" Alabama eagerly asked. "Chef!" Chris announced, pointing at the apron'd man at the door. "He's cooked up a _delicious_ buffet for everyone. Come on, kids, into the lobby."

**12:34 PM.**

Chris led the kids back into the main lobby, where a row of tables were set up before a menacing looking Chef Hatchet, who had his arms folded and a menacing sneer on his visage. On the tables, lumps of brown sludge awaited, dripping wetly before them. Chris checked his watch, and announced, "I'm gonna go outside to where they've got the catering trucks for the camera crew. We ordered Chik-fil-A!"

Chris then disappeared out the front door, leaving the twenty-eight contestants all alone. Nebraska nervously raised a hand, and asked, "Um... is that food safe?"

"Safe?" Chef barked, looking down at the slop. "Why - _boy_, I ought'a knock some sense into that thick skull o' yours. My mama taught me this recipe."

Everyone looked confused now, peering curiously at the heinous mixture. "Nah, just kiddin'," Chef said with a chuckle. "I mainly just use whatever grease is left up on the floor in the kitchen an' cook that with a couple slabs o' hamburger meat. Makes yo' toots come out like _fire_."

And with that, it was utterly and completely assured that nobody would touch that food until the halftime ended.

"Man, this challenge is pretty boring, am I right?" New Jersey lamented to a few of his teammates. Delaware frowned, and mumbled, "Well.. I don't know, I kind of had fun... it's a lot of fun to just go up there and talk about your viewpoints and try to get Chris to see your way."

"Oh, yeah, totally!" New Jersey instantly said after a moment's worth of blinking. "Yeah, it's - wow - yes, definitely. Sign me _up_. Hells of yes. Debate is _so cool!_"

New York face palmed, as Delaware began to inch away from New Jersey again.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_99_mp3**

"I think I've got a problem on my hands. I've sort of been trying to ignore it or hope it'll go away, but... I'm talking about the Jersey-Delaware problem. New Jersey will _not_ leave Delaware alone. Now, I value Delaware a _lot;_ she's a fantastic friend, and a great person, but... we _need_ someone physical like New Jersey. Without him, our best bet is - is _me_, and I am _terrible_ at everything physical! So that's saying something. I just doubt anyone's gonna actually believe me when I say that we need him."

New York

**12:41 PM.**

"Alright, kids, we're running late!" Chris announced, running into the lobby rather unexpectedly. "Have you all had your fill? Wait, don't answer that. I don't care. Everyone, let's get back into the debate room, we've only got about twenty more minutes and we still haven't heard from one of the teams."

Nobody really seemed to want to argue against getting away from Chef's brown slop, so everyone went back into the debate room without much qualms.

When most people had finally taken their places, Chris checked his watch again, and yelled, "Alright, Team Victory, I need a representative! We haven't heard from you guys yet, so let's make this snappy."

Everyone in Team Victory all looked instantly to Washington, who sighed and stood. "I guess that's me," Washington muttered, climbing down from his chair and heading to the podium. He cleared his throat, and then looked seriously at everyone.

"Hi. I'm Washington," he greeted. "What I've primarily noticed in this debate thus far is everyone talking about their teams, and... _omitting_ any bad parts. I find this to be bad form. So, instead... I'm going to tell why each individual person on this team is a valued addition."

This was an unexpected development. Chris seemed curious, while everyone from Team Victory who _wasn't_ Washington were all immediately trying to hide in their seats. After Washington waited for a few seconds, he began, "California! The beauty of the West Coast. As she stated herself, it is an absolute _tragedy_ that she is still single after so long on the show. But the reason she's a fantastic member of this team is her _common sense_, something a lot of us are missing every now and then. Sure, she sometimes says things that don't make too much sense, but between you and me, she knows a _lot_ more about you than she lets on. Plus, she has terrific knowledge in shopping."

California put a small hand to her mouth, a little embarrassed, yet said bashfully, "It's true. I clock in at twenty hours a week shopping."

Washington grinned for a moment, and then pressed on. "Hawaii!" he yelled. "His skills in piloting can't be matched. Not only that, but he's an excellent mechanic, and pretty open about his feelings. I don't mean to embarrass you," Washington disclaimed, as Hawaii sunk into his chair, absolutely flustered, "I just want everyone to know why you're part of the reason why you're so valued. But moving on to Arizona."

Washington then smiled at the red-head, who was looking a little apprehensive as to what Washington would say. "Arizona is one of the brightest contestants I know on this show," Washington claimed, looking around at everyone. "She's compassionate and caring. _She_ was the one who stayed behind for Alaska when Alaska had heat stroke in the _second challenge_. _She_ was the one who was concerned about Montana's health, after she collapsed in Rhode Island. Arizona cares for the weak, for the minorities, and for those who otherwise cannot care for themselves. She is absolutely _irreplaceable._"

Arizona had her head in her hands, and was blushing furiously at everyone's curious stares toward her. Washington let his words sink in for a moment longer, and then declared, "New Mexico! The absolute_ powerhouse_ of the team. His strength cannot be matched. Not only that, but he's probably the _coolest contestant on the show_. He wears shades indoors. You can't get cooler than that."

New Mexico grinned a little at that, laughing to himself, light flicking off his shades. "And, not only that," Washington continued, "but he and Arizona make just about the most _perfect_ pairing I've ever seen. They are _so_ cute together."

To that, New Mexico scooted a little closer to Arizona, and put his arm around her, forcing her to blush an ever-deeper red and bury her head into her arms. "And lastly... Oregon," Washington finally said.

"Oregon... is one of my closest friends on this show so far," Washington explained, looking a little nervous for the first time. "He's incredibly nice, fiercely loyal, and has a fabulous fashion sense. He was kind enough not to judge me when I... well, I mean... he's not a judgmental person, is all I'm saying. He's... he's my friend, and honestly one of the truest ones I've had in my entire life, even before this show. So... yeah."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_100_mp3**

"Okay, wow... Washington is officially the _sweetest_ guy on the show. Ever. Hands down. Gawd, I'm probably just _gushing_ here about him, but it's true. If I had to date any guy on this show, it would be him. Um, except for the fact that I'm not gay like him. Or that I'd even consider, uh... doing something like that."

Oregon

**12:53 PM.**

"You see," Washington continued, as Oregon was blushing furiously and trying to hide his face with his hands, "it's not about omitting the parts of your team that you don't like. For example, a team with literally just _Hawaii_ in it wouldn't work out at all - but a team with everybody _except_ Hawaii would never be completed. Everyone has a part to play. And that is _exactly_ what a team is."

Chris, after a long, thoughtful pause, glanced down to check at his watch, and nearly jumped. "Alright, anyone wanna refute that? Because we're almost out of time," Chris explained. "City Council's coming in here in thirty minutes, and we gotta make it seem like we were never here-"

Before Chris could finish his sentence, New Jersey jumped up spastically from his chair. "I got somethin' to say!" he announced, and tromped over to the podium, nearly knocking Washington out of the way with brute force. "Alright. Yo, everybody!" he yelled, raising a hand. "I'm New Jersey! And I got somethin' to say!"

"New Jersey, go stand in a corner!" Chris yelled. "We're indoors, so maybe this time you can actually do that-"

"I can't stand in a corner if this is a _circular room, Chris!_" New Jersey suddenly shouted, looking triumphant. "Hah! One step ahead of you. Anyways. I'm not here to talk about corners. I'm here to talk about _Team Democracy_."

New York was gesturing frantically for New Jersey to come sit down, but his spastic waving was ignored. "Y'see," New Jersey explained, waving his hand vaguely towards his team, "Team Democracy is obviously a million times better than Team Victory."

There was a long pause, as Chris evidently decided to entertain the notion of actually listening to New Jersey for a moment. "And?" he eventually asked, irritated.

New Jersey blinked, confused. "What?" he asked.

"_Why_ is Team Democracy better? I need a reason."

New Jersey then folded his arms, slightly irritated. "Because we just are!" he insisted. "I mean, we've got _Delaware!_ What more evidence do you even _want?_"

Chris nodded slowly to that. "Oookay..." he mumbled. "Well. I think I've seen enough. Challenge over! Team Victory won, and Team Democracy lost."

"_What?_" New York shouted from his seat. "We did _excellently _at the start! Why - why'd _we_ lose? Why not some of the teams who only had _one_ representative, like, oh, I don't know, _every team but ours!_"

"Sorry!" Chris decided, shrugging. "But we've gotta get going if we wanna stay on time. Alright? Everyone to the buses!"

"Wait!" Virginia cried, tugging on Chris's arm. "What about the teams that got in second, and third, and fourth? What order were they in?"

Chris shrugged, looking a little creeped out by Virginia's insistence. "I don't know. You kids should know by now that only the winners and losers matter on this show," he explained, already walking out the door of the capital building and into the cool Maryland air. "Who cares about which teams got in second and third and so on? Not me!"

And that was all there was to it, evidently.

**5:16 PM.**

Team Democracy's bus sped out of the city of Baltimore, as a hazy orange sun began to dip below the horizon. As it was the Fall Equinox, day was temporarily the same length as night.

Three teenage guys rested in their bunk room; Massachusetts was reading the recently-delivered October issue of the PC Gamer magazine. Connecticut was reading some book up above Massachusetts, while New York was simply lying on his bunk, and looking up at the ceiling, or rather, the bottom of Vermont's long-empty bunk. Quite some time went by before anybody spoke; it seemed nobody wanted to break the delicate silence that often preceded an uncertain voting ceremony. But the silence was finally broken by New York.

"So..." New York began tentatively. "Who are we voting off tonight? It's gonna be between Delaware and New Jersey."

Massachusetts's head jerked to stare at New York. "What?" he asked. "Wait, you're actually considering voting for someone _other_ than New Jersey?"

New York grew a little defensive, and merely shrugged. "I mean..." New York stammered, "if... if Delaware's gone, then... then maybe New Jersey will get his head in the game..."

"But _why_ would you ever prefer New Jersey over Delaware?" Connecticut suddenly asked. "I mean. Delaware's actually _sane_."

"_Well_," New York elaborated, "if you just let me explain, I'll tell you. It's because New Jersey's our current best hope for any physically demanding challenges. If we kick him off... then we've got _nobody_. And we'll just end up losing more people."

Connecticut just rolled his eyes and went back to his book, but New York's words seemed to have a little more effect on Massachusetts. "Well..." Massachusetts murmured, "I mean... yeah, that's true, but I would _waaay_ prefer Delaware on our team than New Jersey. I'm sorry, but... I would."

"But what happens once we come across more physical challenges? We lose. And it'd be within the realm of possibility that you, or me, or anybody could be voted off! So we _need_ New Jersey. Even if it's just to stay above the water."

Massachusetts sighed in response, and tossed his magazine aside. "Jeez, this is tough..." he mumbled. "I'll... let me think about it, York..."

At that, Connecticut leaned over the edge of his bunk to stare at Massachusetts. "You're not seriously considering keeping New Jersey, are you?"

"Well... I don't know, Connecticut! I mean, New York makes a good point... ugh, let me think about it, guys. I'll... I'll vote during the ceremony. That's what I'll do."

**7:01 PM.**

"Come on, kids!" Chris yelled, waiting for the occupants of Team Democracy to finally climb out of their bus. "I don't wanna wait all day! And besides, it's about time we finally took this team down a peg to six players."

Once everyone was seated, Chris grinned mischievously, and crossed a name off his notepad. "Very interesting result tonight!" he added, digging around in a plastic bag for whatever candy he'd bought for the voting ceremony. "I think this is gonna be an important one! Alright, let's see... when I call your name, you get a snack, and if you don't, then you go home, can't come back, _et cetera_. Are we all ready to begin?"

Nobody responded. It was generally understood by now that Chris's questions were never meant to be answer. And before anybody could, he grinned, and tossed a Gatorade to Connecticut. "Great!" Chris began. "Connecticut, zero votes. Maine! No votes for you either, sweetie. Same goes for you, too, Massachusetts."

Snacks were thrown to both Maine and Massachusetts, who sat right beside each other. A moment later, and-

"Pennsylvania! Last one with no votes!" Chris announced. "So that just leaves... New Jersey, New York, and Delaware! Uh oh! Triple trouble!"

The three exchanged nervous glances. New York was especially confused as to why he was included. Chris waggled his eyebrows a bunch, paused, and then...

"New York!" he yelled, tossing a box of Nerds to him. "Two votes, actually. But you're safe. As for Delaware and New Jersey..."

New Jersey was now having a panic attack, as he quickly realized it was literally either him or Delaware that was going home. "No!" he suddenly shouted, jumping up. "Make _me_ go home! Not her!"

"The final snack goes to..."

"Chris! Listen to me! Give it to her! _Not_ me! Damn it, are you even listening to me?"

Chris had both his eyes shut, and was holding a bag of chips high in the air somewhat tauntingly. A sly grin spread on his face. "To..."

...

...

...

"New Jersey!"

The bag of chips went flying, and landed a few feet away from New Jersey, which he didn't even try to grab for. "_No!_" New Jersey cried, as Delaware stared sadly around at her team. Right when she was about to retreat to get her belongings from the bus, New Jersey cried out, "_Wait!_ Chris, bro, tell me. _Tell me_ who voted for Delaware. Come on, bro, help me out here."_  
><em>

Chris was about to instantly decline, but saw the potential for drama. "Well..." he murmured, "I _guess_ I can bend the rules for this. The three people who voted for Delaware were... New York, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania."

The three contestants Chris just called out's faces were frozen in terror. "_Chris!_" New York hissed. "What the _hell_, man? You're _never_ supposed to tell!"

Chris shrugged in response, as Delaware lifted her already packed backpack from the bus. "Sorry!" he told New York. "But I've decided to make an exception. Bye-bye, Delaware!"

New Jersey was absolutely livid as Delaware walked away towards the taxi. "This is mother - _motherfuckin' unacceptable!_" he screamed. Everyone flinched, and stepped back slightly. "New Jersey, we picked you," New York insisted. "We wanted you over Delaware. That's good, that means we like you. You can get your head in the game now-"

"Ugh, you don't _fucking understand!_" New Jersey shouted. "As _usual_. If it was between me and Delaware, I'd _want_ Delaware to stay in the game. And you _completely blew that for her_. _You_ made that decision for her. How do you think she _feels_ right now?"

That last sentence stung, and New York evidently decided to back down a bit. New Jersey stared angrily at the three who'd voted for Delaware, and then turned to the two who hadn't: Maine and Connecticut. "Maine! Connecticut!" he yelled. "You're in my alliance now."

"Aw, what?"

"Come on. I don't wanna be in an alliance."

"Well, like it or not, you are!" New Jersey insisted, staring down New York, who seemed utterly helpless, as though he hadn't expected this at all. "New York... Pennsylvania... even Massachusetts... they're all the enemy."

"But I like Massachusetts," Connecticut and Maine said simultaneously, and then recoiled at their sync in saying that. New Jersey ignored the two, and waved a hand. "Into the bus, _alliance_," he yelled. "We've got planning to do."

**11:22 PM.**

Late at night. The five buses were all parked in a parking lot in Baltimore, since the state of Delaware really wasn't so far away that they needed to start driving already.

Most people in Team Touchdown's bus were asleep at this point. But there was a confrontation between two.

"I know what's goin' on."

Texas was facing Georgia, who looked absolutely terrified. Texas frowned a little. "You and a few of the other girls are in an alliance. Don't try an' deny it, now. I heard y'all whisperin' 'bout it the other night."

"I... I really don't know what you mean," Georgia insisted, shrinking a little. "We ain't plannin' anything-"

At this Texas put his hands on his hips, and glanced around cautiously. "Listen, I'm gonna cut you a deal, here," he muttered. "You join up with me, Mississippi, an' Alabama... an' we won't vote you off. You don't even gotta tell your alliance members."

Georgia was shaking her head, stepping away, but Texas grabbed her arm a little too forcefully. "Hey," he whispered, "now, you gotta remember to honor your part of the bargain. You vote for who we say to vote for... an' I can see us gettin' along real well, Georgia. And if not... then I know who's gonna be the first to go."

There was no denying it anymore. Georgia hung her head in shame, and merely whispered, "Okay."

Texas nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Glad to have you on our side, Georgia," he told her honestly. "I bet Miss'ssippi's gonna be real happy you're on our side. I'll catch you later, Georgia."

And with that, Texas retreated to his bunk rooms, leaving Georgia to mull over her current problems, all alone in the main room of the bus.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_101_mp3**

"Gettin' Georgia on our side's real important. This means it's four 'gainst two. With any luck... we'll crush Tennessee an' Louisiana. Hell, if I'm lucky, I can nab Louisiana an' get her on our side and just label Tennessee as a traitor. I got this team on _lock_, y'all."

Texas

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, and Delaware.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Curcle, Winkie4, Lily, and BlueIce RedFire!

**aspiringAnimator** - Not much to say here. I have a Youtube channel now, if that's news. Check it out via the link on my profile. I can't put a link here, because FanFiction won't let you highlight text.

To those of you just now catching up to this chapter and wondering if there was an issue in production, well, you're spot on, because there was. When I finished it, I accidentally clicked exit, and lost about four thousand words of work, which usually equates to about three to four hours of work! So I spent the last week or so fixing it. It's all there now, as you can see, just not as high quality as it originally was.


	25. Art from the Heart

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Louisiana and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - **(**Connecticut, Maine, and New Jersey**)**, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 24: ART FROM THE HEART**

_"No, _YOU_ go stand in a corner!" - New Jersey_

**Wednesday, September 24th, 2014. Wilmington, Delaware. 8:53 AM.**

"What do you _mean_ they lost the footage?"

Chris was screaming into his cell phone as his limousine drove him and the five buses behind it straight into Delaware. He paused for a few more moments, listening.

"Wait, _how long?_ They won't even be able to get back the footage for a while? Je_sus_... okay, y'know what? Fire the intern that lost the footage of the episode. How much did they lose?"

...

"They lost _half the episode?_ Agh... crap. Okay. Fire _all_ the interns that were involved in that. All of them."

...

"Yeah, I _know_ they're unpaid, just - just fire them anyway. I don't want them touching this show again. Damn. This is gonna put us back a few weeks, isn't it?"

Chris paused for a moment, looking hopeful, only to be let down.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is... alright, thanks, Pete... yeah. I'll let them know. Ciao."

He then punched his finger on the disconnect button, and threw his phone on the floor of his limo. "Aaaaugh..." he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He stayed like that for a few moments, and then pressed a small button on a radio.

"Morning, contestants!" he yelled, peeking out the limousine windows. "I've got some bad news. Some of the new _interns_ lost _half of last episode's footage_. Yeah. They say they left some of the flash drives back in Baltimore. Sooo... it's gonna take them a while to go and get it back. In the meantime, we gotta keep on schedule, so _yes_, we _do_ have a challenge today."_  
><em>

Chris rubbed his forehead. "Our next stop is Wilmington!" he reminded everyone. "So sit tight. We'll be there before you know it. I know, a _thirty minute drive_ has just been terrible today. This is Chris... out."

He let go of the button, only imagining everyone's reactions to what he just said. Maybe the contestants didn't care that they'd lost half of last episode's footage. They were nearing the half-way point, after all, and were probably growing a little cocky.

**9:02 AM.**

"You heard Chris!" New Jersey yelled, staring around angrily at the contents of Team Democracy's bus. Their numbers had finally matched that of most the other teams. "_Alliance _meeting!" New Jersey continued. "That means you two."_  
><em>

He then pointed at Connecticut, who was drawing in his sketchbook at the kitchen table, and Maine, who was sitting beside Massachusetts and watching the news together. She groaned. "New Jersey, we're _not in an allianc_-"

Without even waiting for her reply, New Jersey yanked Maine's arm, and gestured for Connecticut to come as well. He brought the two into an empty bunk room, and folded his arms.

"Alright, guys," New Jersey began. "It's us versus them, yo. New York, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts. We need strategies. Any ideas?"

Connecticut rolled his eyes, and then rubbed his arms sleepily. "Jersey, it's too early for this," he reasoned. "And we're not in an alliance with you. If anything, we're in the alliance of Team _Democracy_."

"Oh, yes you _are_ in an alliance with me!" New Jersey now yelled. "_You_ two didn't vote for Delaware. That means I can trust you guys. Those _other_ three, though... they can't be trusted. They all _knew_ how I felt about Delaware."

Maine was looking a little annoyed. "Can I please go back to sit with Massachusetts?" she asked. "We were actually getting a taste of the outside world for once. I appreciate you wanting to include me on your little 'alliance', New Jersey, but... really, there's no need. Delaware's gone, and there's nothing that's going to change that-"

"So you're just gonna _let_ that jerk-off York vote off whoever he wants?" New Jersey yelled. "Delaware was _off limits_."

"Okay, but to be fair, York wanted you on the team," Connecticut reminded New Jersey. "He said that he had to pick between you and Delaware. So he picked you. You should feel flattered."

"That - that _doesn't matter!_" New Jersey cried, looking frustrated. "The point is, he voted off Delaware because he _knew_ it would get under my skin! I... I just _know_ it! And we _can't_ let that slide!"

"Well, I can," Maine decided, making a move to exit. "I'm gonna go back to watching TV with Massachusetts."

Before New Jersey could stop her, Maine had left the small bunk room. New Jersey groaned, and grabbed Connecticut by the collar. "Look... _bro_," New Jersey seethed, "you _gotta_ help me here. I can't be voted off the instant we lose another challenge. You... just... _keep me in the game_. Alright? _Please_. I wanna make... make Delaware proud."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessonal_102_mp3**

"I honestly can't help feeling _sorry_ for New Jersey. I mean, it's this guy who, for the past two months, has fantasized about some random girl from our team liking him, and now she's gone, and... he's kind of... psychotic now? And he's _completely_ ignored the fact that I voted for him a few nights ago. But... I'll help him. I don't want to see him keep hurting over Delaware."

Connecticut

**9:14 AM.**

"Come _on_, Georgia. _Talk_ to me."

Tennessee was gently tugging on Georgia's arm, as their bus grew ever-closer to Wilmington. Georgia was trying to go back into her bunk room so she could be alone, and was looking increasingly nervous at Tennessee's presence.

"We're alliance partners, remember?" Tennessee reminded Georgia. "Me, you, and Louisiana. So... don't worry. You can tell us anything."

At that, Georgia mumbled something incoherent under her breath. Tennessee leaned in, confused. "What?"

"I'm... not actually... in your alliance anymore," Georgia admitted, nervously fidgeting on the spot. Tennessee blinked, and said, "Wait, what? Why not?"

A brief silence went by. "Because, um..." Georgia began, "...Texas told me to, um... join his alliance... so that I'd be safe from being voted off."

Tennessee took a few involuntary steps back, now downright frightened. "You didn't," Tennessee stated slowly, as though she were trying to convince herself more than Georgia. "_Please_ tell me you didn't join sides with the guys. Georgia! Haven't you learned anything from their lack in leadership skills?"

Georgia seemed on the brink of tears now. "I'm _sorry!_" she insisted. "I just... Mississippi isn't that bad, and... and they're not bad people... Tennessee, you should really give them a chance. They don't want alliances to form."

It was now Tennessee's turn to look just plain hurt. She gave a contemptuous stare at Georgia for a few moments, and then stormed off into her own bunk room.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_103_mp3**

"I cannot _believe_ Georgia took the word of some - of some _guy_ and decided to side with them! And for what? For _safety_? First chance they get, they're voting her off, once me and Louisiana are nicely out of the way. I can tell Georgia just wants to be safe, but we _need_ her! Ugh. I hate Texas."

Tennessee

**9:28 AM.**

"Welcome to the tiny state of Delaware!" Chris greeted, as the doors of the five buses opened to release their twenty-seven total occupants, who all stood blinking in the surprisingly bright, early Autumn sun. Before them, a small city rose. Wilmington. Past that, the murky Atlantic Ocean awaited. The morning sun shone brightly over the ocean, casting rays of the warming sun over the landscape.

The five buses were all parked in front of a huge, modular looking brick building. A huge white banner hung above the double doors of the building, reading, "THE DELAWARE ART MUSEUM". Interns were milling about, setting up camera equipment and microphones all over the area. Chris looked around, squinting slightly, and yelled, "We're doing an art-themed challenge! Though I guess most of our viewers at home have figured that out from the episode title. Come on, kids! Follow me inside!"

Cautiously, the twenty-seven contestants all followed Chris into the museum. "Mind the absolutely priceless sculptures, by the way!" Chris reminded them all. "Wouldn't want to break one or something."

Before long, everyone was led into a huge open lobby. Skylights let in hazy sunlight from above. All over the floor, boxes of art supplies and tarps to protect the tile were laid out everywhere.

"Your challenge is simple!" Chris announced, striding back and forth like a military sergeant. "Make a sculpture. Make a painting. Do _something_ artistic. I and two other judges will judge each piece! Me and Chef are the first two judges, whereas the third is... well... just say hello again, Blaineley!"

Blaineley appeared, looking not very happy that she was there. She'd already noticed that the camera crew wasn't done setting up, as she had a pretty noticeable sneer on her face. "Good _morning_, contestants," she spat, fixing her hair slightly and checking her phone. "It's so _very_ good to see you all again."

Indiana crossed her arms, peering at Blaineley with a skeptical expression. "Looks like someone has finally begun to understand the art of sarcasm," she quipped. Blaineley didn't seem especially pleased to see Indiana. "And it looks like _someone_ has somehow managed to stay on the show!" Blaineley squealed with fake enthusiasm. "What a surprise that has been!"

"Whoa, cool it!" Chris insisted, pushing the two apart as a burly Chef approached. "No cat fights until the cameras are rolling! Heheh. But seriously. We've got until _noon_ to do this challenge! Yes, you have a bit more time today, so no grumbling. I'll order lunch once everyone's done."

To that last sentence, everyone cheered, to which Chris put his hands up defensively, and cried, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I mean I'm buying lunch for the _interns_ and _camera crew_ who work on the show. Though, to be fair, not even _they_ have done such a great job lately. What with the rampant losses of _hours worth_ of film."

A few of the interns started shuffling away from Chris, fearing an outburst. But Chris's expression remained as genial as ever. "Everyone go ahead and get started!" he declared. "_Impress_ me!"

**9:33 AM.**

As members from all five teams started work, the only team with three remaining contestants were at a slight loss on what to do.

"Y'know, you guys could always me for advice..." Illinois reminded the two girls as he sat on the tiled floor looking bored. "I'm... artistic. Probably."

"No, _thanks_, we're good," Indiana decided, holding up two cans of paint to compare the colors. "What do you think, Virginia? What kind of sculpture should we do?"

Virginia shrugged in response. "We could do a mannequin of some kind..." she suggested. "If we make a big mold and painted it 'artistically', that might impress Chris..."

"Yeah, but... that's not very artistic, I want our piece to _mean_ something to Chris... that's what art's all about."

Illinois rolled his eyes, and idly peered at a stray paintbrush on the floor. "Well, you two seem to have this challenge under control," he decided. "I'm gonna go walk around and see what's up with the other teams."

Virginia glanced at him with an accusing stare, but Indiana just muttered, "Fine. Go on. Abandon your teammates."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_104_mp3**

"Maaan. Hah. I bet everyone else is jealous of me. One guy. The _only_ guy on my team. Like I said. _Fantastic_ odds. And don't worry, Indiana and Virginia'll come around. I bet Indiana was just _lying_ about being lez. Probably."

Illinois

**10:09 AM.**

"Yo, Washington, if I lean any farther, I'll fall!" Hawaii advised his team. Upon Oregon's direction, they had started working on what was going to be an incredibly huge, yet visually impressive carved wooden statue of Chris McLean himself. Hawaii was standing on a ladder, and nervously chipping away wooden fragments away from Chris's soon-to-be nose. "Don't worry, you're not falling," Washington assured Hawaii, keeping a steady grip on the ladder. "Oregon, how do you think the progress is coming along?"

Oregon looked up at the sound of his name. "What?" he asked. "Oh. Um... it looks good so far. We've mainly just been working on the head, though... maybe someone needs to get started on shaping his body."

"Leave it to me," New Mexico insisted, grabbing a saw and approaching Chris's large torso. "I'll get it done in _no_ time."

"I have to say, Oregon, you're really shaping up to be pretty good at all this creative stuff," Washington complimented, to which Oregon looked away. "I mean it. I bet Chris will _love_ this statue."

"Yeah..." Oregon mumbled, looking bashful. "I guess..."

Oregon then started nervously shuffling away, and over to go take count of the supplies again, leaving Washington in one of his more rare moments of confusion.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_105_mp3**

"I'm... really having a hard time being around Washington. I don't really know why, he's just... it's not that he's not my friend anymore, it's not that, it's just... I don't know. I feel really confused about it and I'm not sure who to talk to."

Oregon

**10:37 AM.**

"Higher."

...

"_Higher_."

...

"No, not that high. That looks stupid."

Nebraska muttered something under his breath as he painstakingly stretched to fit the canvas, lifting a pink ribbon which would be used to border the picture. Inside the frame, North Dakota had drawn a simplistic drawing. She called it "abstract". Her teammates, excluding South Dakota, called it garbage. It was a mystery as to what Chris would call it when it came time for judging.

"I... agh, really, I'm trying my best, Glorious-" Nebraska began, right before he was smacked with North Dakota's long wooden cane. "Did I _ask_ you to speak?" she snapped. "Oh, wait. No, I didn't. So shut up. This piece will get us through the challenge. It's 'artsy', whatever that means."

It really wasn't a very impressive art piece. Quite literally, it was just a bunch of lines overlapping each other, with a few of the interiors colored in with what appeared to be crayon on canvas. Bordering the edges, Nebraska was currently hanging up a long strand of pink ribbon.

"Sis... I really don't know," South Dakota murmured, looking worried. "I mean, I think it's great and all that you've taken up art, but are you so sure that this is going to be enough to make Chris _not_ pick ours as the loser-"

"Don't worry," North Dakota reassured. "There are three judges. That pink ribbon will probably make Blaineley go wild. Or something. Bam, ten out of ten from her, and we're safe from being the team that's voted off."

"Yeah, but are you _sure_ she'll-"

"_One and a half hours remaining!_" Chris reminded everyone with his favorite bullhorn. "_Carry_ _on!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_106_mp3**

"I gotta be quick here. And I know, I know. I... I should really be doing more to oppose North Dakota. Or, something, at least. But... she's just so intimidating. And nobody else will even consider rebellion. I think Oklahoma is legitimately convinced that North Dakota is our true leader or something. Colorado's... Colorado. He's a nice guy, but it sounds to me that he just wants to get to the merge. And Kansas is just as cowardly as me! So... I dunno. I kind of regret not doing more, is all. It's hard being on this team. It's hard and nobody understands."

Nebraska

**11:25 AM.**

Things were beginning to come to a close among all teams. Team Democracy had finally finished their rather hastily-completed banner that simply said the words "CHRIS" and "YES" over and over again, and so most of the members from that team were all sitting down, except for New Jersey, who had evidently taken it upon himself to stand over everyone while glaring at New York, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania, all of whom seemed to be growing increasingly uncomfortable.

Team America was still working hard on their project, which ended up being a mannequin sculpted by Virginia, yet painted by Indiana, who was still working on the final touches. Illinois was sitting on the floor, looking somewhat bored as he absent-mindedly sketched on the tarp that was protecting the floor from any paint. In Team Touchdown, however, things were a little more than "tense".

The team had elected to work on a huge model football stadium, but they'd all spent over an hour arguing over which team should be represented. Louisiana had stubbornly stuck to the New Orleans Saints, while Alabama wasn't budging from the University of Alabama's football team. So, Mississippi had made a compromise, in which the stadium would have no logo and the Saints would be playing against the Elephants, even though one team was NFL and the other was SEC. But by the time the bickering had ceased, there was less than an hour to go in the project.

"I need more cardboard, y'all!" Texas yelled. "Hey! Tennessee, can you pass me some?"

Tennessee eyed Texas suspiciously, and scooted away from him. He groaned, and stretched to grab it. "Yeah, thanks," he muttered, a little more than peeved. "Guys, c'mon... there's no need for all this... Mississippi, what's the word you called it?"

"I called it sectionalism."

"Yeah. Yeah, sectionalism. Tennessee, Louisiana, c'mon... we're all a _team_, like it or not."

The two girls simply ignored Texas, and continued making tiny model people to fit in the stands.

"Bama," Texas suddenly whispered to Alabama, who was painting the field green. "Yo, Al... c'mon, help me out here. I'm tryin' to _unify_ our team. It ain't right havin' everyone opposed to one another."

Alabama shrugged. "Man, they can do what they want," he mumbled, swiping his green-tipped paintbrush back and forth over the cardboard field. "Personally, Tex, they wronged us by opposin' us. We need to vote 'em off first chance we get."

Texas didn't seem too amicable with that idea, but didn't argue the topic further.

**11:56 AM.**

"Okay! Let's see how you guys did!" Chris announced in mid-bite of a subway sandwich. It was high noon now; there was no going back. All the teams _had_ finished, however. With a small flourish, Chris, Chef, and Blaineley all approached Team Dakota's art piece altogether.

Indeed, it was quite literally a canvas with a bunch of overlapping lines. A few of the triangles that the lines created were colored in. With crayons. Bordering the piece was a long strand of pink ribbon. Chef was already grimacing at the monstrosity as he approached.

"Uhhh... this is it?" Chris asked. "This looks like something a sixth-grader might do in their spare time.

"It represents the boundary between reality and what you expect," North Dakota convincingly explained. "The ribbon represents the curtain, or the _veil_ between such realities."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_107_mp3**

"Of _course_ that's not what it means. I literally just made a bunch of lines and colored them in while I listened to music from my iPod Touch, the one I got from the mall challenge. And then I had Nebraska put up some ribbon. Bam. Now it means something. _Any_ artist knows you can bullcrap your way through any piece, as long as it '_means something_'."

North Dakota

**12:01 PM.**

Chris frowned a little. "Well, there _does_ seem to be some significance behind this piece," he reasoned. "So... I give it a six."

Chef snorted. "It's just some _lines_," he grunted. "Two."

It was now evidently Blaineley's turn to judge. "Well..." she mumbled. "I _do_ like the color choice for the ribbon. And it looks nice. So I give it an eight."

North Dakota smirked, as every other contestant on the show was shocked at Blaineley's response. "Well! That puts Team Dakota at... sixteen?" Chris announced. "Let's see how the next teams do. Team Democracy! Show us what you got."

Pennsylvania and Maine both grabbed one end of the banner they'd made, and unrolled it, letting it come to its true length, and spelling out the following.

CHRIS YES CHRIS YES CHRIS YES CHRIS YES

The three judges simply stood there. "This is it?" Chris asked, bemused. "Just... Chris and Yes over and over again? Who's idea was this?"

Nobody seemed willing to take credit for the current situation. Chris sighed, and said, "Well, five, just because you picked a good name to-"

"Two!" Chef barked, scratching his chin. "It ain't pretty and it don't make no sense."

"Yeah..." Blaineley said, "I'm gonna have to give this a three."

Chris did some basic addition in his head, and finally declared, "Uh oh! That puts Team Democracy in last with just... ten points. Will they stay in last? Find out... after the break!"

A few contestants began rolling eyes. Every now and then, Chris decided a "break" was needed, in which he would stand there staring at the camera for a few seconds. After an intern gave him a thumbs up, Chris yelled, "And we're back moments after judging Team Democracy, which is currently in last place with just ten points! Let's see... how Team Touchdown does!"

Team Touchdown's piece was a large model of a football stadium. Miniature football players, made out of tiny, colored balls of clay, were positioned with frightening accuracy and precision. In the stands, a few similar miniature fans rested.

"Uhhh, not a big fan of American football!" Chris admitted. "So I give this a-"

"I give it a nine!" Chef instantly decided. "Only 'cause y'all could'a made it look like the Saints are winnin' there."

Chris inched away from Chef, slightly irritated, and continued, "Yeah, thanks, Chef. I give it a six because it all looks accurate to me. Or about as accurate as you can get to a hockey fan like me. Go Toronto Maple Leafs!"

Blaineley sighed. "This isn't artistic!" she cried. "Who likes football? Don't answer that. The real answer is nobody. Nobody likes football."

Chef seemed ready to "forcibly remove" Blaineley from the facility, but Chris stepped in just in time. "Alright! That puts Team Touchdown in the lead with nineteen points total!" Chris announced to the cameras. "We've still got two more teams to check out! Will one of them sink below Team Democracy's score? Who knows! But for now... let's see Team America's piece."

With that, Chris led the other two judges and the cameras over to where Team America's sculpture rested. It was a mannequin... but its head seemed chopped off. Paint was intricately lathered on the mannequin, in colors like purple, blue, and green, yet a shockingly stark red was surrounding the severed neck area. This bright red color dripped down, eventually mingling with the other colors and creating a slightly red mixture around the torso. Indiana had been the one assigned the painting job. Illinois stood proudly beside the mannequin, as though he had completed it himself.

"Hmmm..." Chris muttered, stroking his chin and narrowing his eyes at the sculpture. "It's... it's artistic, I'll give you that. I give it a seven."

"Three!" Chef snapped. "It ain't right to depict a person with no head like that. It just ain't right. You don't gotta make it look like there's blood, is all I'm sayin'."

It was Blaineley's turn now. She squinted deceitfully at Indiana. "I wish I could give this sculpture a _zero_," Blaineley muttered, "but I suppose a _one_ will have to do."

"_What?_" Virginia cried. "Why - this doesn't deserve a one!"

Indiana nudged Virginia softly, and muttered, "She's just mad she got kicked off the show."

"Yeah, but she didn't give any of the _other_ teams scores that low!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_108_mp3**

"I don't really know why, but Blaineley _still_ hates me. Well, she's a _bitch_. Alright? Yeah, I said it. She's just _whining_ about how she got kicked off the show she hijacked. But nooo, Chris just _had_ to have her come back and judge every now and then. Probably out of sympathy for that woman."

Indiana

**12:09 PM.**

"Well..." Chris began, "I guess that makes Team America's total... carry the one..."

...

"Eleven! _Just barely_ above Team Democracy's!"

The six members of Team Democracy all groaned at their collective misfortune. Chris smiled maliciously. "But we still have one more team to judge!" he announced. "And I've been saving this one for last. Here's... Team _Victory's_ sculpture!"

At the thumbs-up from Washington, California pulled off a large white blanket from the tall wooden carving of none other than _Chris McLean_, standing in all his glory. Even his ChrisMcLeanSmile™ was reproduced in stunning accuracy. There was a long, long moment of silence as everyone stared in awe at the creation.

"_Ten out of ten!_" Chris screamed, running up to hug his own statue. "I _love_ it!"

Chef rolled his eyes, mumbled something foul under his breath, and yelled, "Eight outta ten! Only 'cause it's fair."

At the sound of that, Blaineley let out a long, long groan. "Oh my _god_," she whined. "It's so _obviously_ an attempt to cater to Chris's narcissistic whims. But... obviously, this carving took a lot of time, so... five out of ten."

Washington was about to protest on Oregon's behalf, but was quickly shushed by New Mexico. "Let it go, bro," New Mexico assured him. "We did better than all the other teams. If you argue she might take down the score even more."

Washington sighed, as Chris did some more basic addition in his head. "That makes Team Victory's final score to be twenty-three, placing them in top place again! Wow. Nice job, Team Victory! Two wins in a _row_."

Oregon was blushing furiously, as just about everybody in his team hugged him. "Yaaay! We _won!_" California squealed, clapping her hands.

"Nice going, Oregon!" Washington cheered. But before proper celebrations could begin, Chris started snapping his fingers over the din. "Hey!" he yelled. "Yes, yes, _good job_, Oregon, but we're on a tight schedule here. _Because_ Team Democracy lost again, they get to go to the voting ceremony! What fun. Does that sound like fun? That sounds a lot like fun to me. And trust me. I am _all_ about fun."

**1:21 PM.**

"We _have_ to vote off New Jersey."

Maine, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and even Pennsylvania were all rounding on New York in the middle of the bus, who remained firm on the issue. New Jersey was somewhere in his bunkroom, probably "strategizing" off by himself. "No," New York declined. "We _need_ someone who's physically capable for some of these challenges," New York advised. "We can't vote him off."

"But we have to vote _someone _off," Maine insisted. "And I'd prefer it to be Jersey. He's a... _nice_ guy, maybe, but he's gone mental! I'm sorry, New York, but you know it! We should've just voted him off so we'd still at least have Delaware. And maybe with her artistic ability, we wouldn't have lost this challenge!"

"Guys, I know, it's bad, but we _need_ him!" New York cried. "What are we gonna do when we have a physically challenging assessment? You all _know_ we'll fail!"

Massachusetts sighed, and looked at New York seriously. "Like it or not, New Jersey is going down tonight," Massachusetts informed him. "You may not like that, but you won't be able to change our opinions. If you're with us as a _team_, York, then you'll help us."

New York groaned, and rubbed his forehead wearily. "Don't say I didn't warn you guys when we lose a physical challenge later," he claimed. "Because we'll need him for those."

"Then... I dunno. Work out!" Connecticut suggested. "Get buff! _You_ could be our physical guru!"

"Okay. Wow. No. Please don't suggest that ever again, Connecticut."

"Aw."

**7:00 PM.**

Six teenagers were all sitting in a circle around Chris, who held a sheet of paper in his hands and was looking annoyed. "Really?" he yelled. "I _just_ saw you guys in voting. Can't you kids stop losing challenges for a bit?"

"We'll try," Maine dully notified. Chris didn't seem convinced, yet dangled a bag of candy over everyone. "Today, I'm just gonna shower you kids with candy every time I say a name," he decided. "That sounds a lot easier. Plus, it gives me an excuse to hit children!"

...

"Okay. Forget I said that last part. Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania! No votes! Yaaay, candy!"

Chris then sprinkled a huge volume of candy over the kids. As a Twix bar smacked Connecticut in the eye, Pennsylvania squealed, "Is this really necessary?!"

"Yes! Yes it is," Chris responded with a satisfied smile on his face. "That just leaves New York and New Jersey. Ooooh, I wonder who's going home?"

Nobody responded to that. It was pretty obvious to everybody, even New Jersey, who was just glaring around at everyone. Chris pulled out a Hershey's Kisses candy from the bag, and started waving it in the air. "New York? Or New Jersey?" he asked. "Who's going home? Either way, you won't have a very long drive home!"

"Just... shut up and say New York," New York muttered, rubbing his forehead at the stupidity of all this. Chris shrugged, and said, "New York! One vote. Good job."

The candy smacked New York in the forehead, as New Jersey stood. "Just so you all know," he seethed, "you _will_ all pay for this. Mark my words. _Nobody_ from Team Democracy is getting into the finalists."

"Good one, New Jersey," Chris said, somewhat amused. "Y'know what? Go stand in a corner, New Jersey. You-"

"No, _YOU_ go stand in a corner!" New Jersey screamed, kicking a stray soda can at Chris. "You - _argh!_ It wasn't _funny_ when you started telling me to go stand in corners. It _continued _to not be funny, yo. And it _still_ ain't funny! This 'running gag' of tellin' me to _go stand in corners_ is _retarded_. So _shut_ the _fuck_ up!"

"Whoa!" Chris yelped, faking surprise. "I am peeing my pants right now! Go on, Jersey. Go get your things. They're in the bus."

New Jersey looked ready to spout off more nonsense, but Chef's looming silhouette in the distance made him reconsider. Instead, New Jersey just gave Chris the finger, and stomped off to the bus to collect his things.

And with that, New Jersey was voted off The Fifty State Roadtrip. Twenty-six contestants remained.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, and New Jersey.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Anna Hartley, Guest, and Curcle!

**aspiringAnimator** - *frantically clicks save every two seconds as I'm writing*

Gah. I've literally spent the last five hours writing this entire chapter. It might seem a little lackluster, I know. I'm doing double duty trying to make up that chapter that I accidentally deleted half of, which I still have not completely finished rewriting. Haha! Remember when that happened less than a week ago? The ramifications are still affecting me today! Yay!

I'm also doing the Youtubes in my spare time, so check that out via the link in my profile if you've got time. Yes, this fanfiction has priority over my Youtube account, don't worry. We are also getting VERY near some plot points that I'm a little excited to start writing about. So... yeah.

It's a little sad to see New Jersey go. I liked him a lot as I was writing him; he sort of mentally lost it at the end, sure, but the running gag about how Chris tells him to go stand in a corner when they are, in fact, usually outside just sort of grew on me after I used it twice. But anyways. Review! Follow! Favorite! Do _all_ of those things, and perhaps the great god of aspiringAnimator will be _pleased_. Perhaps he will think you are worth sparing. Perhaps not.


	26. 2RUDE4U

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Louisiana and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois, Indiana, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 25: 2RUDE4U**

_"It's just... I've been thinking about some things." - Oregon_

**Sunday, September 28th, 2014. Atlantic City, New Jersey. 10:05 AM.**

A dull breeze came from the Atlantic, shifting the golden-orange leaves of the many trees that dotted the landscape. Flat gray clouds coated the sky, threatening rain. And five charter buses slowly made their way up from Delaware. Fall was in full swing.

As the buses slowly rode along the coast, contestants prepared for the challenge that was sure to come this weekend. And for Texas, this meant doing whatever it took to unite the team.

"I understand y'all's concerns," he stated, facing Louisiana and Tennessee, who were sitting on the couch. Alabama stood beside him. "But I'm doin' everything I can to help y'all understand why it ain't such a good idea to be... to be formin' all these alliances."

"It ain't a _choice!_" Tennessee cried. "You, Bama, and Miss'ssippi already formed one!"

"No, we didn't! We're all just friends, is all-"

"No, y'all did. And we figured if it kept goin' as it is, we'll be voted off by y'all first. And then - and _then_ y'all went and recruited Georgia! So, yes, we _do_ have to make an alliance just to protect ourselves from y'all."

Texas sighed, and rubbed his forehead. "This is gettin' nowhere..." he muttered. Alabama nudged Texas, and mumbled, "C'mon, Tex... it's better not to have 'em on our side, anyway. Let 'em make their alliance. They'll just get voted off anyway."

That didn't seem to change Texas's mind. Tennessee stood, and said quietly, "Come on, Louisiana. You can't trust them."

Louisiana didn't budge. As Alabama trudged back to his bunkroom, Texas knelt down to gaze at Louisiana face-to-face, who was trying to avoid his stare.

"Louisiana. You can rejoin the team again. It don't have to be like this. We're all a _team,_ and that's how it's meant to be."

She didn't respond, instead simply gazing solemnly at the floor, evidently in thought. Tennessee stood at the doorway, looking apprehensive, and hastily said, "Louisiana, come _on_. You _know_ he'll just vote you off the first chance he gets."

Texas glared at Tennessee. A few seconds later, and Louisiana smiled sadly, and said, "Sorry... but... no, thanks, Texas."

With that, Tennessee stood from the couch, and followed Tennessee into her bunkroom, probably to discuss their next move. Texas groaned, put a hand to his forehead, and plopped down on the couch.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_109_mp3**

"We ain't, uh... I mean, we're _not_ doing so good. Er - so _well_. Whatever. Grammar don't matter. What _matters_ is the fact that Tennessee's tryin' to drag Louisiana down with her into the abyss of thinkin' me an' Bama are leadin' an alliance bent on destroyin' them. Which is _not true!_ Team Touchdown's all about everyone bein' friends! That's what it's always been! How come people from Team Victory an' Team Democracy get along so well? And don't tell me it's 'cause they're all liberals."

Texas

**10:20 AM.**

"We're _halfway there!_"

As the buses grew ever closer to Atlantic City, Team Democracy was throwing a small party for finally making it to the twenty-fifth episode, which marked the halfway point of the entire season. Massachusetts had even baked a cake for the other four members of the shrinking team. As everyone chowed down on chocolate cake, New York congratulated, "Nice going, guys! We made it to the halfway point."

Pennsylvania nodded in between bites, and expressed, "Yeah! And exactly five out of our ten people we started out with have made it this far, so maybe that's a good sign?"

"God, I hope so..." Maine muttered, wiping her mouth with a napkin. "I do feel kind of bad about New Jersey. He was funny sometimes, in that sort of desperate way, y'know?"

"Yeah..." Connecticut mumbled, looking down at the floor. "He was. To New Jersey, then."

Everyone saluted, and made a toast to New Jersey with their plastic cups of chocolate milk. "To New Jersey!"

They drank, right as the radio at the front of the bus crackled, "_Hey, hey, everybody! Chris here. We're about ten minutes away from Atlantic City, where today's challenge is gonna take place! So get ready, kids. This is Chris: out!_"

**10:32 AM.**

Twenty-six contestants stepped out of the buses and under the heavy, flat clouds of New Jersey. The roiling and tumbling gray Atlantic Ocean was not far, bringing the scent of sea over everyone. Chris gestured grandly towards the coast, and cried, "Welcome to the Jersey Shore!"

A few of the contestants didn't seem too impressed. "It's really dirty..." Oregon mumbled, kicking at a stray can of Pepsi on the ground. Chris crossed his arms, and yelled, "Well, get used to it, 'cause this is where today's challenge is being held. And, for today's challenge, we have our two special judges again! Say hi again, Blaineley."

In addition to Chef, Blaineley walked up, still looking a little miffed. "'Good' morning, kids," she greeted, after checking her phone. "I'm still in-between jobs, so it looks like I'm stuck with you all again."

Blaineley had failed to notice that the cameras were currently rolling. Indiana groaned, and pretended to slam her head against the side of Team America's bus. "Wow, it's like we have Blaineley as a host again since she's apparently here every challenge now!" she remarked, overflowing with fake enthusiasm. "What joy."

A few teenagers from some of the other teams began snickering, right up until Blaineley flashed them all a deadly smile. "Yes!" Blaineley cried, and then screamed with laughter. "The utter and simple _joy_ I am receiving by being here with a bunch of sniveling sixteen-year-olds is beyond comprehension! It is just _so_ great that I forgot to feel happiness from it."

Chris narrowed his eyes at Blaineley. "Behave, Blaineley," he muttered sternly. "You'll be with us for a challenge next weekend, too, and then we're not due to see you until the next Aftermath."

"Right, right, the Aftermath," Blaineley repeated dully. "The only show I actually host now. I used to host two shows. I wonder why I'm not hosting the second anymore? Oh, wait, I think someone stole it from me-"

"Blaineley, _most_ normal people don't even host _one_ show!" Chris cried, exasperated. "And Total Drama is _my_ show! _You_ took it away from me! And you only got kicked off because the fans hated you-"

She simply laughed loudly as a response to Chris, cutting him off. Chris looked ready to attack, but Chef held out a hand to stop him. "It ain't worth it, Chris," he warned. "It ain't worth it."

Once Chris was finally convinced that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to murder one of the judges on international television, he dusted himself off, and addressed the cameras again. "Today's challenge is a very simple one!" he announced, smiling his famous ChrisMcLeanSmile™. "It's something that will be challenging for _some_ of you, and _very_ easy for others. Now, answer me this, everybody. Do you like everyone on your team?"

The responses were quite varied. Everybody in teams Victory and Democracy were nodding their heads eagerly, but the same couldn't be said for the other three teams; literally nobody from Team Dakota reacted except for South Dakota.

"I see..." Chris commented, scribbling something down on his notepad. "Okay! This challenge will _definitely_ be interesting. Everyone will be partnered up, and assigned the task of being _incredibly_ rude to your partner. In front of judges. The more mean you are, the more points you get. However, I assume this will be pretty hard for some of you, so I've made the pairings even worse!"

This news wasn't taken very well by everyone. Chris looked down at a pre-prepared sheet, and called out, "Because Team Victory won two challenges in a row last week, _they_ get to go first! The pairings are: Hawaii and California, Arizona and New Mexico, and Washington and Oregon!"

No doubt, those "pairings" had been selected by specifically Chris; or worse, the fans, whose online presence seemed to be seeping into the show by the minute.

"California and Hawaii first!" Chris declared, checking his watch as the five buses simply rested on the boardwalk of Atlantic City. "I wanna do a test run. Let's hear it, you two."

The two eyed each other cautiously. "Um..." Hawaii began, facing her. "Yo, you're... you're really... not nice. Not a good person. Very not good. Bad, even."

California blinked, and after Hawaii didn't follow up on that, she stated, "Is that it? Oh, well, you're the dumbest, most immature, and ugliest person on our team. Everyone knows it. You smell a lot, too, even though New Mexico has offered several brands of deodorant he likes."

Everyone stared. California smiled a tiny bit, and said, "Was that good? Um... Chris?"

Chris's eyes swiveled between the two. "Wow," was all he said. "That was, um... impressive. Not for Hawaii, though, but I'm just gonna give you two a seven."

"I give 'em a five," Chef decided, stroking his huge chin. "'Cause Hawaii could'a done more."

"Yeah, well, I give them an eight," Blaineley said, looking the two over. "Very nice work. And I adore this team."

"That makes... twenty-two!" Chris shouted after a brief moment of mental math. "Er, sorry... twenty. We'll average all the scores together for the entire team once the everyone in the team has gone. Next! Let's have Oregon and Washington."

The two faced each other apprehensively. Oregon was tugging nervously at his own somewhat tight, purple t-shirt, while Washington just adjusted his glasses, anticipating the worse. But it never came.

"Ummm..." Oregon began, eyes glancing over at the three judges not far away every few seconds. "You're... you're a _bad_ person. You are not good. You... you have terrible fashion sense? And you need a haircut."

Washington grinned, amused, and glanced up at his own shaggy brown hair. "Well..." he responded, "Oregon, you are... weird. You make good grilled cheeses. Wait, hold on, that wasn't - okay - that wasn't an insult - your cooking is _bad_. I wouldn't have it for another day. So gross."

Chris rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure some of the fans would call all that adorable, _not_ insulting," he remarked. "I give you two a three."

"I give 'em a two!" Chef barked.

"Five. It was cute."

More mental math, and then, "That puts Oregon and Washington at ten!" Chris announced to everyone. "Exactly half of what California and Hawaii got. Come on, final pairing from Team Victory, so we can get this moving along."

...

Arizona and New Mexico were completely incapable of insulting each other. The worst thing Arizona said about her boyfriend was "smelly feet". Regardless, they ended up with a thirteen, which was a smidgen better than Washington and Oregon's score. In the end, Team Victory ended up with just a fourteen in total.

"Okay!" Chris shouted, once Team Victory was thoroughly completed. "Now that Team Victory is out of the way, I wanna get to some funny stuff. Bring out Team Dakota!"

The six members of Team Dakota stepped forward with North Dakota at the lead, replacing Team Victory. Chris clapped his hands together, and yelled, "The pairings are as follows! Oklahoma and Kansas, South Dakota and Colorado, and North Dakota and Nebraska! What fun. Let's start with... _North Dakota_, shall we?"

Of course, Chris's first pick was intentional, but North Dakota had no problems with smirking and turning to face Nebraska, who was looking positively terrified.

...

"Nebraska, you are the unworthiest sack of potatoes to fall into the hands of my team. Time and time again you've failed what you were assigned. You're weird, and fail to recognize even the most basic of cognitive functions, such as how to tell when trying to assist a rebellion is a futile endeavor. You're cowardly, weak, spineless, and are unable to tell the difference between even the most basic of trigonometric ratios, which are remarkably simple. Everything you say is a stuttered mess and you piss yourself every time you mess up at anything, which is often. Have you ever wondered what that hollow, desolate sound is, emanating through every crevice of your psyche? It's your incredibly obvious lack of a soul. You're welcome."

...

There was no response from Nebraska, who was frozen in place and shaking terribly. North Dakota smirked again, and faced Chris, who looked just as stunned as Nebraska.

"Ten out of ten."

"Yeh," Chef agreed, "ten."

Blaineley started clapping. "Happy to award ten points to _that_," she explained.

There was a brief silence, and then Chris shouted, "_Okay!_ Wow. Let's, um... wow, I think we're done here, because nothing can top that. But, we _have_ to film the whole episode, so... South Dakota and Colorado... you're up."

Needless to say, Colorado dished out a hefty dose of assholery to South Dakota, who was unable to come up with anything in response. The two were awarded a moderate twenty-one in total. When Kansas and Oklahoma came up, they did slightly worse; Kansas wasn't very able to come up with anything aside from a ton of stuttering, while Oklahoma was being a little too nice with her insults. They received a fifteen in total, and on average, the entire team got a twenty-two, putting them in first place.

"Good stuff..." Chris muttered, checking his watch and looking over his clipboard as Oklahoma and Kansas were finally finished being moderately rude to each other. "Okay. Now we need Team Democracy to get their butt in gear. Come on up, you five."

Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts, Maine, and Pennsylvania all approached, looking slightly apprehensive. Chris narrowed his eyes, and asked, "Okay, five isn't an even number, so we'll need one person to sit out. Who wants to volunteer-"

Connecticut raised a hand, and drawled, "Well, if nobody else wants to do it, then I guess I can. Good luck, you guys."

He received a few suspicious glances, but there seemed to be no objections. Chris raised an eyebrow, and referred to his notepad. "That means the pairings for Team Democracy _are_..." he began, "New York and Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts and Maine! Oh my. Maine and Massachusetts, how about you two come up first?"

The two slowly turned to face each other, looking quite nervous in the other's presence. Chris grinned bemusedly, and after not much happened for a few seconds, he encouraged, "Go on. You're being filmed. Right now."

"Oh. Um..." Maine began, adjusting her glasses slightly and avoiding looking at Massachusetts directly. "Well... Massachusetts... you're so gross. And... and every time I said I liked your food, I was... lying. And the fact that you also like guys creeps me out."

Massachusetts's eyes widened a little, appearing somewhat shocked. "Oh yeah?" he responded, as Maine tried to communicate without saying anything that she hadn't meant all that. "Yeah, well, you're - you're sometimes pretty boring! And I think you cheat when we play Risk. There's no way you could've won six battles in a row against me without lying about the dice results. And... and you..."

Massachusetts paused. Maine was actually looking legitimately hurt. "Hey... I didn't _really_ mean, um... some of that stuff?"

"You didn't?" Chris asked. "Well! I give you two a five. Only because it was moderately entertaining."

"Four!" Chef barked. Blaineley looked up from checking her phone, and asked, "Oh. Am I supposed to judge or something? Then seven. I don't know."

"...okay," Chris remarked, as Blaineley went straight back to perusing her Twitter account. "That puts Massachusetts's and Maine's score at... sixteen! Let's bring on New York and Pennsylvania to see how they do."

Maine stormed off, leaving Massachusetts incredibly confused as New York and Pennsylvania took her place. "You two ready?" Chris asked, looking up to the two teens. "Go!"

New York cleared his throat, and began before Pennsylvania could say anything. "Pennsylvania," he began, "I'm sorry to have to reveal this to you, but I don't like you as much as you think I do. You're a great person and all, and I love having you on my team, but... I just don't think I can make this work out anymore. I know I may have led you one a few weeks ago, and that's-"

"Hey!" Chris interrupted. "You're not being rude! I think you're being honest!"

"Shut up, Chris!" New York responded. "Anyway. I'm sorry to have to tell you this way. But I'm in this game to win, not to... to form relationships. And even then, it wouldn't be able to last for more than a few weeks. I'm... I'm sorry."

Pennsylvania was stunned. "What?" she asked. "Wait, you liked me? Hold on, was this a _thing?_"

"I... um. Yes? I thought it was obvious."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_110_mp3**

"I... had _no idea!_ How was _I_ supposed to know that's what New York felt about me? Nobody told me! And then he just _had_ to go and blurt out his feelings on television like he thought I knew! I bet I look like a bitch now. I bet I look like a bitch to all of my friends. Why couldn't have have just _told_ me? Maybe I would've reciprocated! Ugh. Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly the most fun person to be around."

Pennsylvania

**10:49 AM.**

Before Pennsylvania had a chance to issue a response, Chris blurted out, "Alright, that's enough! We need to get going with the other teams, because there are people here and they're wondering why we're filming a TV show on the middle of the boardwalk and blocking up pedestrian traffic, so... I award a seven, just because of the obligatory 'drama' bonus you two have going on right now. Chef? Your score?"

"Meh. Six," he grunted, barely paying any attention to the two teens. "I'm hungry."

"Well, I award them a five," Blaineley murmured, looking thoughtful and brushing a speck of dirt off her dress. "Because New York didn't seem to know what he was doing just now."

"And that puts them at eighteen!" Chris announced to everyone. "And if we average sixteen and eighteen together, I think that makes seventeen! See? Don't even need an intern with a calculator for that. I am on _fire_ today."

Once a few moments went by, during which nobody acknowledged Chris's mathematical "prowess", Chris grumbled, "Well, send Team Democracy back. Current scores are... Team Dakota in first with twenty-two, Team Democracy in second with seventeen, and Team Victory in third with fourteen. Come on up, Team Touchdown!"

The five members of Team Democracy were all turned away, each of whom were quite confused and a little suspicious about each other now. The six of Team Touchdown took their places, eager to start the challenge.

"Texas and Louisiana!" Chris began. "Alabama and Mississippi! Tennessee and Georgia! Those are the pairings! Should be... interesting. Let's start with the love birds, shall we?"

Chris, of course, was referring to Alabama and Mississippi, who glanced at each other nervously. Chris grinned maliciously, and said, "Go on! I wanna see this."

"Um..." Alabama began. Mississippi glanced around nervously, eyes lingering on the cameras pointed her way. "Hi," was all she stammered.

"You're fat," Alabama said, appearing somewhat regretful. Mississippi gasped dramatically, and cried, "Well, you're a dumb-head!"

"No, you!"

"No. _You_, Bama!"

Before Alabama could shout another "No, you!" to Mississippi, Chris held his hands up and declared, "I can see this is getting nowhere! Thank you, Alabama and Mississippi. That was _very insightful_. Judges?"

"Two," Chef grunted, stealing a french fry from the hands of an unsuspecting intern. After a brief consideration, Blaineley awarded, "Six. Because I like this team. Because it's not Team America."

"Riiight..." Chris murmured. "Well, I give you two a four for effort. Which makes your final score... twelve! _Impressive_. I am just quaking in fear at your supposed rudeness!"

When nobody responded to that, Chris rubbed his forehead and elaborated, "That was sarcasm. Okay... let's have Texas and Louisiana now."

Alabama and Mississippi were quickly ushered out of the way of the cameras, letting Texas and Louisiana take their place. Chris kept checking his watch every few moments, somewhat eager to keep the show moving along. "Let's hear it, you two!" he cried. "I kind of wanna get this thing moving."

"Okay..." Texas began, sighing to himself as Louisiana stared at him suspiciously. "Louisiana," he began, "you would make a good addition to our alliance. You need to reconsider what you're doing with Tennessee. She'll drag you down-"

"Hey!" Chris yelled. "You're supposed to be insulting her-"

"Louisiana, listen to me. Join our alliance, and I can guarantee you'll be protected from being voted against until the merge."

"Texas, I'm warning you! Do you _want_ me to give you a zero? Because I can do that! I'm the host!"

"Yeah..." Texas mumbled, as everyone stared at him confusedly. "Now to the mean stuff. Louisiana, you're a whore. I never liked you. Christ, this is hard to say... you all know I don't mean this, right?"

Chris face palmed. "Okay. How about your response, Louisiana?" he asked. "I need something other than the insanity Texas is spewing. Come on, don't be shy. Destroy him."

Louisiana took a small breath, and faced Texas, who was quite a lot taller and considerably more muscular than she was. "Texas," she began, "You're cool, and all, but... I think you overestimate how much people like you. Your... only real friend on the show is Alabama, and that's just because he's literally the only other guy on the team right now. Also, that time you made burgers back in late July and everyone liked them? I'm... pretty sure everyone was lying. They were burnt. A lot."

Texas recoiled slightly, as though the news of spoiler hamburgers was enough to tip him over the edge. Louisiana looked slightly regretful, and stepped back, stating, "That's... all I have to say."

Chris whistled, and said, "Wow. Talk about revealing. Um, on that note... I think I give it a six, just for redeeming yourselves at the end there. Thoughts, judges?"

"Meh. Four," Chef decided after a small moment of thoughtful chin-scratching. "Just 'cause it ain't too right for a lady to tell a man off like that."

"Well, I give them an eight," Blaineley claimed, after inspecting her fingernails for any chips or bumps. "Louisiana did an excellent job at the end."

"In total, that's eighteen!" Chris announced. "And lastly, Tennessee and Georgia. Come on up so we can finish up Team Touchdown!"

...

In any event, Tennessee completely destroyed Georgia for leaving the alliance. Georgia was unable to effectively come up with anything in her own defense, and so the two were awarded a twenty-three. In average, Team Touchdown's final score was eighteen, putting them right above Team Democracy, replacing them to be in second place. Unless Team America screwed up spectacularly, Team Victory would be going to the voting ceremony. Of course, due to the fact that it was, indeed, Team _America_, it was within the realm of possibility that a screw up of such magnitude could happen.

Chris faced the only _three_ members of Team America: Indiana, Illinois, and Virginia. He grinned slightly. "Only two of you will be participating in today's challenge!" he announced. "Who will it be? Well, I already know, because I picked it out! Illinois and Indiana, come on up!"

Indiana groaned as she stepped up with Illinois, whose eyebrows were already waggling at the idea of getting to speak to Indiana again. "Not _him_," Indiana pleaded. "He's such a weirdo."

"Too bad, so sad!" Chris lamented, as he faked wiping away a tear. "It's part of the challenge! This'll be your _only_ chance, Team America. Let's hear it!"

The flat gray clouds above began to part a little, finally letting in some midday sunshine. Before Indiana had a chance to speak, Illinois blurted out, "You're not a lesbian."

Indiana groaned and was about to argue otherwise, before she was cut off by Illinois. "I know you aren't," he continued determinedly. "You can't be. I mean, it's wrong to be gay."

Washington raised a skeptical eyebrow at that, while a few members of Team Touchdown nodded along to Illinois's words, particularly Alabama. "So," Illinois continued, "I've decided that you're going to be my girlfriend. You know there's no avoiding that."

Indiana began faking barfing in an over-exaggerated manner. Chris was looking a little repulsed by Illinois now, but the kid plowed on. "You and me, Indiana. We can vote off Virginia just like the old days, where we were in an alliance together-"

"The _old _days?" Indiana repeated, unbelieving. "The old - Illinois, we were in an '_alliance_', as you call it, less than a few _weeks_ ago. Before that, we had Ohio ruling the team, and before _that_, it was just a chaos of nobody knowing what to do for two months straight. Illinois, you _repulse_ m-"_  
><em>

"Shut up!" Illinois interrupted. "You're going to be my girlfriend and that's _final_."

"God, I hate this show so much..."

"Hey!" Chris yelled. "That's enough! I mean, I am _all_ for the drama and all that, but you two aren't even doing the challenge properly. I give you a three. Stop it, you two."

"Speakin' of 'you two'," Chef repeated, "I _give_ y'all a two! That ain't anything good. Y'all are terrible at this."

And then came _Blaineley__'s_ response. She looked over the dwindling members of Team America. "Funny," she said. "I _knew_ this team would be going down. What with so many screw-ups and knuckle-heads and... _her_."

Blaineley's eyes rested a moment on Indiana, who backed away a little instinctively. Blaineley smirked some more, and said, "I give you two a _one_."

...

"And that means Team Dakota is the winner of this challenge!" Chris announced to the cameras. "In second came Team Touchdown, in third came Team Democracy, in fourth came Team Victory with fourteen points, and in last... Team America, with just _five points!_ A-_mazing_."

"Oh, come _on!_" Virginia cried. "_Chris! _You can't _really_ expect us to vote off another person, do you? We're _already_ down to _three people!_"

"And now you'll be down to _two!_" Chris told her, smiling at their predicament. "Wonder who's going home? Should be a clear-cut vote tonight! God, is it actually sunny now? Maybe we could all go to the beach..."

At his words, everyone but the members of Team America grew excited, even Blaineley. Nevertheless, Chris shrugged, and decided, "Nope! No time for the beach today. We've got voting to do. Into the buses, everyone!"

**7:06 PM.**

"Come on, out of the buses," Chris muttered to the three members of Team America as they climbed out into the cold night air of lower New Jersey. A half-moon slowly rose into the sky, making its way over tall, yellow-leafed birch trees. "Put your votes into the hat as usual, and I'll count them!"

Three votes were plopped into the hat. Chris took a look at each one, as Indiana, Virginia, and Illinois all sat down. It was pretty obvious who was going home, and Chris knew it.

"No surprise there," Chris muttered, tossing the scraps of paper aside and putting the elegant top hat back into a bag. "Okay!" he then announced, scratching a name off a list. "When I call your name, blah-blah-blah. You all know the drill. Today... I've only got _two_ boxes of Nerds. Who wants them?"

Illinois and Virginia both raised their hands. Surprisingly, Indiana didn't do anything, and only looked at Chris skeptically. Chris grinned a little bemusedly, and took a breath to say the first name:

"Indiana. No vote."

Indiana caught her box of Nerds. And just like that, it was down to Virginia and Illinois. No surprises. Chris held the box of Nerds a little higher, and looked down upon the two. Illinois appeared confident, but so did Virginia.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_111_mp3**

"Everything that happens tonight rests on Indiana voting off Virginia. I really hope she sees the light and does that. Me and her will finally be together. Sure, we had a rough patch in the beginning, and she _may_ be somewhat attracted to girls, but... that's _okay_. Because Virginia is going home tonight. And after that, it'll just be me and Indiana."

Illinois

**7:11 PM.**

"The final box of Nerds goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Vir-"

"Hold on," Indiana said, standing up. Oddly enough, her bag was already packed, and at the foot of the bus. Chris looked incredibly annoyed. "What the hell do you think you're _doing?_" he seethed. "I am in the _middle_ of some _seriously dramatic stuff here!_"

"I quit the show."

Everyone stared at Indiana. Chris's eyes widened, but after a moment of thought, his expression resumed to that of a complete tool. "No, you don't," he corrected. "You can't quit. It's in your contract."

Indiana swiftly kicked Chris in the balls, just like that. He doubled over, cried out in a girly voice, and collapsed onto the pavement. "Okay. How about now?" Indiana asked pseudo-sweetly.

"Engh... _fine!_ You win! You're _kicked off_, Indiana! Damn..."

Indiana stood, satisfied, and walked over to collect her bag. "What? Wait, _why?_" Virginia cried. "Indiana, _think about what you're doin'!_ Don't leave me with _this_ kid!"

There was no response to that from Indiana, who simply elected to give Virginia a big, big hug. "Sorry, Virginia," Indiana murmured. "But you're smart. You're _strong_. I get the feeling that you'll go very, very, _very_ far in this game. Just wait."_  
><em>

"How could you _do_ this to me?" Illinois asked, bleary-eyed. "I - come _on!_ What did I _do?_"

Indiana didn't give Illinois the satisfaction of receiving a response. "Well... looks like I'm off," Indiana muttered, glancing nervously at Chris's still-shaking body on the ground. "It's been fun. But not really. I think I'll be pretty happy to finally get home."

And with that, Indiana receded into the distance, heading towards the taxi. A few moments later, Chris got up, and dusted himself off angrily. "Good riddance..." he muttered, still pissed. "Well, at least Blaineley'll be happy that girl's gone. And I will be, too. But anyway. I... guess that's that? Illinois, you're still on the show."

Illinois thought to himself for a few moments, at the end of which, he blurted out, "Wait, I would have been _voted off?_"

"Yep."

"Pretty much," Virginia informed him.

...

**8:19 PM.**

_Exactly twenty-five contestants remained._ This was the true half-way point in the entire show.

Team Victory's bus rattled along with all the other buses, heading west towards the state of Indiana. They'd just narrowly escaped a voting ceremony, and in the end, managed to hold onto its six occupants. While Team Victory had early on seemed to be 'the team that keeps losing', it was now finally living up to its name.

Most contestants were in their bunk rooms doing whatever they usually did the night after a particularly brutal challenge. Of course, Washington was still in the main room on the couch, reading a book, or a newspaper, as usual.

This night he was reading a book. The television up above was on some news report about protests in Hong Kong, but it went ignored by him. The steady tick of the clock, the humming of the bus, and the soft sound of footsteps on carpet was all he heard.

Oregon peeked his head around the corner. He was already in his pajamas. "Hey, Washington..." he greeted, looking a little nervous. Washington glanced over at Oregon, and said, "Oh, hey. What's up?"

"Oh, um... nothing... hey, do you have a moment to talk?"

This seemed to surprise Washington, but he consented, and sat up on the couch, leaving room for Oregon to sit, which he did. The two sat in silence as Washington saved his place in his book. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Um..." Oregon began, looking incredibly hesitant. "Well, it's just that... I mean... okay, you know how you, um... came out... to me, as being gay?"

"Yes. That was a thing that happened. Why?"

"Well... I mean, I... this is kind of hard to admit. It's just... I've been thinking about some things. About, like... who I am, as a person, and what I believe, and what I know about myself, and..."

...

"Go on," Washington encouraged, looking a little expectant. Oregon cleared his throat, and said, "Well, you came out to me, so... I mean... I kind of owe it to you now. I... I'm-"

Just then, Hawaii burst into the room, yelling, "Washington! Yo, where's the scissors? Oh... hey, Oregon."

Washington stared blankly at Hawaii. "What?"

"The scissors, the scissors!" Hawaii cried, running his hands through his hair. "Where _are_ they?"

"Um. Why?"

"New Mexico put gum in his hair."

"What? _Again?_"

Hawaii nodded in response. Washington rolled his eyes, stood up from the couch, leaving Oregon behind, and muttered, "They're in the drawer. Here, I'll help."

And with that, Washington and Hawaii receded into the bunk rooms, leaving Oregon all alone on the couch in just his pajamas.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_112_mp3**

"I have a confession. I... know exactly what Oregon is doing. He's coming out of the closet. He's gay. It's obvious.

I've predicted this for a long time now. At least since late July. He's just waaay too feminine not to be. I remember him being actually a little excited about designing and trying on dresses during the fashion challenge. And recent events have only increased my suspicions. Hell, if Hawaii hadn't come in the room right then, Oregon probably would have said it then.

But I don't want to make Oregon come out. He needs to do this on his own terms. Me forcing him to or pressuring him or whatever won't help that at all. Early on, I suspected, but I didn't care. After what happened with, uh, 'Andrew', as I called it, I... haven't been too eager to jump into romantic relations with another guy. And besides, it wouldn't last. But... I don't know why, and I can't explain it, but I just feel an _obligation_ to protect Oregon. I _have_ to protect him. I can tell he's struggling internally. He's feeling a lot of things that he needs to figure out for himself. I've seen this since the start.

Washington

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, and Indiana.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Knifez, Winkie4, Curcle, TheUnnamedOlivia, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - Hooray for yet another chapter! The one that I accidentally deleted half of is not completed, by the way; don't worry, I'll let you guys know when it is!

We are _halfway there!_ So if your favorite state has made it this far, then congratulations. They are better than the average state. Also, we are getting shockingly close to the end of Act 2! I know; already, right? Just a heads up, because I get asked this a lot: the merge is scheduled to happen at the begin of Act 3, which will be in mid-October. Though we have an Intermission right before then. To clear _more_ things up... the five teams will be joining up into _two _teams! Exactly ten people each. How fun will that be? Will it be random teams? Or something else? Who knows? I do! Ahahahahaaaa! Ahah. Heh. Ahem.

My Youtube channel is still a thing! Check it out via my profile if you haven't. Also, the poll is still on my profile! Have you not voted? In that case, what is _wrong_ with you? Go do that!_  
><em>

And laaastly... I'm pretty happy with the number of reviewers! Keep 'em coming! You guys are the reason I do this: the reason I write ten-thousand words a week. For _fun_.


	27. The SAT

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and **(**Louisiana and Tennessee**)**.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team America** - Illinois and Virginia.

**EPISODE 26: THE SAT**

_"Welcome back... to The Fifty State Roadtrip!" - Chris_

**Wednesday, October 1st, 2014. Indianapolis, Indiana. 5:58 AM.**

The gentle purring of five charter buses making their way through the hill-sides of Indiana is a lot more soothing than you'd expect. A sleepy sun rose over the eastern horizon, dotting pink hue over the clouds. Not a contestant was stirring from slumber, though it was challenge day. All was peaceful. And then-

"_GOOD MORNING, MY LOVELY TWENTY-FIVE CONTESTANTS! THIS IS PRINCIPAL CHRIS SPEAKING!_" a voice blared. New York jerked up in his bed and slammed his noggin on the bunk above. Connecticut rubbed his eyes sleepily and put his pillow over his ears to blot out the noise.

"_IT'S A SCHOOL MORNING, SWEETIES! Time to get dressed! Don't wanna be late for the bus!_"

"Ten more minutes..." Massachusetts moaned, pressing his face deeper into his pillow. "Just ten more minutes..."

When it became obvious that literally nobody was willing to get up and get dressed, Chris blared, "_It's part of today's challenge! So you have to do it._"

New York groaned loudly and swung his legs out of bed. Surprisingly, the bus wasn't even moving as it had been the entire night, but was actually parked for some reason. They were already at their destination. Within a few moments, New York was dressed, and out his bunk room.

Outside, New York was one of the only people who'd actually gotten up to see what was going on. The others were Washington, Maine, most of the members of Team Dakota except for South Dakota, and Virginia. Everybody else was still in bed, not very eager to start a day before the sun was even up. Chris grinned widely at everyone who showed up, and asked, "Who wants to take a test?"

New York squinted to the building behind Chris. It was a large high school, but completely empty. Chris caught him staring, and asked, "Oh, that? We've rented it out! Turns out it's been abandoned by the school board of Indianapolis for years due to lack of funds, but it's still completely operational! In fact, we have a new faculty member we'd like to introduce! Say hello to Mr. Hatchet!"

None other than Chef emerged, looking no happier than most of the kids to be awake this early. Nevertheless, he was wearing a nicely tailored suit, quite like the ones he wore during the awards ceremony of Total Drama Action. He was scowling today, however.

Just then, North Dakota noticed that the five buses were all painted yellow today. "Hey!" she yelled. "What the hell's up with that? Why are they yellow?"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Chris asked, faking legitimate confusion. "Those are school buses! They've _always_ been yellow! Now stop complaining. Where's everyone else? I called."

Slowly, more people started streaming out of the buses, though reluctantly at first. It wasn't until almost half-past six that everyone was finally up and running, ready for Chris to deliver news of what the day's challenge would entail.

"Each of you will be taking the SAT!" Chris announced, once everyone had arrived. "Just about all of you should have taken this before. The team with the highest average score wins, and the team with the lowest average score loses! It's a _very_ simple challenge to understand, yes... but quite difficult as you're actually taking it."

North Dakota groaned, and asked, "Why are we going to school? This is stupid. We were all promised we'd have an entire semester away from school."

Chris shrugged, and winked annoyingly. "It's part of the challenge!" Chris informed her. "And all of your contracts state that what I say, goes. Cheer up, everyone! Just do your best! Mr. Hatchet, please lead our loving students into the testing room!"

Chef grumbled something foul under his breath at Chris, yet waved a meaty hand to signal for the twenty-five contestants to follow him. "This way," was all he grunted, taking them all inside.

As everyone made their way through the empty, dusty halls, South Dakota leaned towards her sister, and whispered, "It's not all bad, North Dakota. Maybe... maybe you could go back to the old days for a day! Y'know... where you had your 'rivals' in school."

"Rivals are stupid," North Dakota muttered in reply. "And don't patronize me, sis. This is just for the challenge. It's not like... not like I'll become _obsessed_ over getting a higher score than someone else."

South Dakota looked doubtful at that, and merely allowed a small grin to take hold of her expression.

Within moments, the contestants were led into one small classroom. Dust covered the floors, and cobwebs hung from the ceiling. As Chef batted a broom at the low-hanging webs, Chris coughed a little, and advised, "Take your seats, kids. Doesn't matter where you sit as long as you're not cheating off of another camper - I mean - contestant. I keep forgetting this isn't the old season."

Nobody responded. A few people had their heads down, but others were trying to stay as attent as possible. It was quite clear that exhaustion and sleep deprivation was going to be a big, big factor in this challenge. Without explaining any more, Chris started passing out test papers. "You have four hours to complete this test!" he shouted, though few heard him. "At least _try_ not to fall asleep. Please."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_113_mp3**

"Okay. I used to think that the car-building challenge, or the drivers' test challenge, or even the awake-a-thon challenges were the hardest challenges. I was _dead wrong_. That... that SAT we took? It was _brutal_. When I wasn't actually falling asleep on my desk, I was choking on the dusty air and trying to focus on all those crazy problems I hadn't heard of before. I haven't been in school for about four months now! What do they _expect?_"

Connecticut

**7:10 AM.**

The sound of scratching pencils filled the room. Chris had already left, leaving Chef to watch over them all. Pages were being flipped in the immense test packet. It was likely that this one was much, much larger than the usual SAT test. And in a small corner, New Mexico chewed on his pencil thoughtfully, racking his brains for the answer to a particular problem.

_If a ball falls at a force of five Newtons, but is also being pushed by the breeze to the right with a force of one Newton, what is it's resultant vector? What? Yo, hold on, repeat that. How am I supposed to know? Do the test makers want me to test it right now?_

Briefly, New Mexico considered throwing his pencil across the room to test the problem, but doubted it would help him any with his response. Instead, he furtively glanced around him, to see if someone might have the answer. As he was in the corner, there were only a few other people: Colorado, who was bent over his test in concentration; Massachusetts, who seemed to be flying through the test; and Arizona, who, wow, was looking pretty good, and seemed to be getting through her test with ease.

_Focus! I gotta focus. Get my head in the game. Falls at five Newtons... what's a Newton? It's like that... Isaac guy. Yeah. Him. The apple guy. Does it gotta do with gravity? Maybe the ball's on the moon, and that's why it's falling... or... something... wow, it is hot in here. And bright. If I could just... shield my eyes from the light... that'd be pretty nice..._

Carefully, New Mexico leaned down, and covered his head with his arms, sighing in relief at no longer having to be subjected to the bright lights of the testing environment.

**7:22 AM.**

Massachusetts heard a thump beside him. He quickly glanced over; New Mexico had fallen asleep on his test, head landing with a bang. A few other people heard it, but Chef didn't seem to, who was just inspecting his toenails for some reason. Massachusetts shook his head briefly, and focused on the test.

_Okay. Hope this is the last of the Physics-based problems. If a projectile is launched at a thirty degree angle above the horizon at a force of fifteen Newtons, what are it's horizontal and vertical components? Oh, this is easy. I just need to use the Cosine and Sine functions and use thirty degrees for Theta. Wait, hold on, how am I supposed to do that without a graphing calculator?_

Massachusetts darted his head up, glancing around quickly to see if anybody else was in the same predicament. About a fourth of everyone was just lying with their heads down on their desks, but a few people worked diligently through the test. There were no calculators provided.

_Well... maybe I can figure out Cosine and Sine without a calculator. It's all based on Pythagorean's Theorem, after all. Let's see... Cosine would be the horizontal component, and the horizontal squared times the vertical squared equals the resultant, which we already know to be fifteen Newtons. However, I don't particularly see how this all plays out... I don't have a calculator. Were we supposed to get one? Maybe I should just skip and move onto the next one. Can't spend too long. Let's see... oooh, this problem's about graphing functions..._

**8:41 AM.**

Almost two hours had passed already. By now, just about everybody was awake and chugging through the test, with the exceptions of a few contestants who'd fallen sound asleep. In the smack middle of the room, Mississippi "sped" through her problems.

_This sucks real bad..._

She sighed, and glanced around for Alabama, who was somewhere in the front and appeared to be having as much trouble as her. She looked back down at her test, and racked her brain for the information she required.

_It's somethin' 'bout grammar. What's a pre...prepositional phrase? How am I supposed to know? This is stupid. This test is stupid. A prepositional phrase is... that thing. What are the options?_

She quickly skimmed over the four options she could choose for the answer.

_A: A noun.  
>B. A verb.<br>C. A sentence.  
>D. A modifying phrase consisting of a preposition and its object.<em>

She thought about the problem carefully, and eventually circled C, because someone had once told her that test answers were more likely to be C than anything else. Wow, Mississippi was on fire with this test. Nobody was stopping her now!

_Alrighty... question number hundred an' fifteen... correct the sentence. "Harry and I wanted to go with _ to the prom."_

_A: You guys  
>B: Your<br>C: Y'all  
>D: You're<em>

_Well this one's real easy! It's y'all. Duh. Next question._

**8:59 AM.**

The steady click of the clock was really getting on Virginia's nerves. So was the incessant tapping of Texas's feet, and the angry sighing of Kansas every time he got stumped on a problem, which was often.

Virginia glanced around nervously. It was only her and Illinois, so if they both made a decent score, they could potentially stay out of voting. But when Virginia glanced off to her left, she realized Illinois was asleep, pencil still dangling in his hand.

She reached across the aisle, and made to shook his shoulder, when-

"_Hey!_" Chef barked suddenly. Virginia froze. His glare stung, as he shouted, "Keep yo' hands to yo' self, Virginia!"

"Sorry!" she whispered, and glanced over at Illinois. He hadn't stirred. She rolled her eyes, and continued work on the test.

_Alright... a logical problem. If there are two dogs, three cats, seven humans, and... hmm... it just wants me to count the legs? Wait, there's gotta be a trick or something to this one... there's no way it's that easy... hmm..._

**9:23 AM.**

The time limit slowly wore on, nearing its end. There was only a little more than thirty minutes remaining. North Dakota, situated in the very front of the room, was quite simply speeding through her test as fast as possible. The only other person who was near her speed was Washington, and she knew this. He sat not far away.

_Sis was right. For once. God damn that Washington. I bet he thinks he's going to beat me. Yeah, well, he's about to get a nasty surprise, because I'm nearly done..._

_The diameter of a circle with a circumference of seventeen centimeters? Four point six five centimeters! Next question. An object is falling at a speed of fifty meters per second at a constant velocity through air, and it's asking what this means... well, duh, that's its terminal velocity. Next question._

_Scientist who studied biological changes in animals over time... that's Darwin. Hah. The people who made these tests probably think I'm some idiot or something. No, I'm North Dakota. I actually have a successful team. Come onnn, just a few more problems..._

_Ugh, another function equation... they really need to give us calculators for these... eleven... point... two? I'll just circle eleven point one, that's close to what I got. Just a few more..._

A few tense moments went by during which North Dakota's pencil flew across her paper, analyzing questions, formulating responses and solutions, and finally-

CRACK. Her pencil slammed down on the desk as a satisfied smile crept across her face. A few people around her gaped at her. She peered over at Washington, who was still working on his test. And with that, North Dakota _knew_ she was the best. Nobody could beat her.

**9:49 AM.**

_I'm doing well. I just need to see if I can finish these last few problems before time's up..._

Washington studied over his previous set of answers, and deemed them good enough for submission. He nodded to himself, and flipped the page, revealing the final set of questions. As he worked over the first few, his mind began to wander again.

_I wonder who's going to win this challenge. I think if everyone tries, our team should do well. Likely, it'll be between Team Touchdown and Team America for the loss... is North Dakota staring at me? Wait, irrelevant, never mind. Let's think about our team. Arizona'll have a good score... not really sure about Hawaii... probably not California... and if Oregon does well, then..._

He glanced to his right, and saw Oregon working through the last fourth of the test, evidently stuck on some problem that had to do with graphing. For what seemed like minutes, Washington was pretty content to just watch Oregon slowly work on his test.

"_Five minutes_ remainin'!" Chef suddenly shouted, making Washington jump. _Five minutes. That's not so bad. These last few problems are just calculus-based, I think. An object falling at... constant velocity... no, that's not constant velocity, that's terminal velocity. Actually, technically it's never a constant velocity, the air would be thickening as you fell, but they must want me to put terminal velocity. I wonder which problem Oregon's on now? I wish I could help him. He could probably use the help. Maybe after the test I'll go over some things he may have missed... that might be fun. I'd be like a tutor. I wonder if he'd like that. Alright, next problem... oh, this one's about Darw-_

"Time is _up_, everyone!" Chris suddenly shouted, bursting into the dusty classroom and possibly giving a heart attack to a few contestants. Illinois jerked awake sleepily, as Chris continued to yell, "Put down your pencils and pass up your papers! Yes, that means _everybody!_"

Reluctantly, each contestant passed their test packet up to Chris, who collected them with a grin on his face. "We'll put these through the grading machine in a jiffy!" he announced. "While you wait, it's time for a delicious cafeteria-food lunch! Oh, the nostalgia. I'm sure you're all very excited."

Colorado raised a hand quickly, and asked, "Is there any chance that it's _not_ food cooked by Chef?"

"Not at all, Colorado! There is no chance that it's _not_ Chef's delicious food."

At that news, a few contestants started gagging at the thought of being forced to choke down Chef's food. Everyone began to file around the door to leave for the cafeteria.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_114_mp3**

"Wow. That was one of the worst challenges to date. I mean, yeah, I think I did pretty well on it, but just... _sitting there_ for nearly _four hours_ was too much. How can _anybody_ stand that?"

New York

**10:06 AM.**

The cafeteria at this particular deserted academy was much more like a gymnasium than an actual, respectable eating establishment. The ceiling was high and wide, and dotted with giant gym lights that took simply forever to light up. Circular tables dotted the room, offering an inviting place for teams to sit and regroup. But not everyone sat with their originally designated team.

For example, Virginia decided to sit with Team Democracy at their insistence, rather than sit with Illinois. Illinois, on the other hand, decided to go sit and meet Team Touchdown.

But even Team Touchdown itself was split. Tennessee was desperately trying to get Louisiana to come sit with her, but all she got in return was an invitation to sit with the entirety of Team Touchdown.

"Come _on_, Tennessee!" Louisiana insisted, patting the seat next to her at Team Touchdown's table. "We're all one _team_."_  
><em>

"No, we're two _alliances_, Louisiana," Tennessee argued. "You can't _sit_ with the enemy. Now come with _me!_"

Louisiana hesitated. "You can sit with us, Tennessee," she murmured quietly. "There don't need to be... all this... _animosity_ towards each other. It just ain't right. We're one team, and - hey!"

Before Louisiana could finish talking, Tennessee spun around and strode over to an empty table to go sit by herself. Louisiana's shoulders slumped slightly as she watched her friend recede away. Texas patted her on the back sympathetically, and muttered, "It's okay, Louisiana. You don't need her. You're one of us now."

Alabama looked up at Texas, glaring. Neither him nor Mississippi seemed too pleased that Texas was trying to get Louisiana into their alliance, which was already beginning to grow a little too big with Georgia's addition. Even Illinois seemed vaguely interested at what was going on.

"Yeah... I guess I am..." Louisiana mumbled in affirmation. "It's just... I wish Tennessee could see that we're all a team. I mean, she's got all these ideas, and I used to agree with her pretty staunchly, but... she's just... stubborn now."

Texas nodded sympathetically after carefully prodding the thick black sludge on his meal tray with a knife. "It's alright. You're with us now," Texas repeated, right when Chris burst through the doors and into the cafeteria. "I have the test results!" he revealed, wielding a huge stack of papers. Virtually everybody stood from their seats to get a better look at him.

"In first place!" Chris shouted, voice amplified by the absolute echo present in the room. "First place was awarded to..."

...

"Team Democracy, with an average of ninety-one! Nice going!"

All five of Team Democracy celebrated another of their somewhat rare victories. Shoulders from the other teams started to slump. "In second place!" Chris continued, glancing back down at the documents. "Second place goes to Team Victory, with an average of eighty-four! Third place is for Team Dakota, with an average of eighty-two! Good job, kids!"

That just left teams America and Touchdown. Tensions were high. Chris smirked, and held the grades a little higher. "Not too impressive scores, America and Touchdown!" he informed. "Not impressive at all. But... in fourth place, and thus safe from the voting ceremony tonight..." Chris started, closing his eyes for effect. "Is..."

...

...

...

"Team Touchdown, with an average of just sixty-nine!"

Alabama started snickering, as did a few other of the slightly more immature contestants. Chris looked annoyed. "And in last place, Team America, with an average of exactly forty!"

"_What?_" Virginia cried. "I thought I did well!"

"You did!" Chris confirmed. "In fact, you got an eighty, Virginia! It was your fellow teammate here that didn't actually _do_ the test, was the problem."

Virginia seethed with anger, and quickly spun around to face Illinois, who started backing away slowly. "Virginia," he quietly said. "It's okay. I... I just fell asleep, is all! You don't need to get angry! Please... I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to! Really!"

"_Shut up!_" Virginia screamed, and seemed ready to punch the guy. "I have _had_ it with you. Getting Maryland voted off. Acting like a douche to Indiana and making her quit. And now _this_. Because of you, there _is no__ Team America anymore_. Chris... Chris, we only have two people, how are we even supposed to vote?"

"Simple!" Chris told her. "We do a tie breaker! I was actually anticipating this might happen today, because Team America is simply _the best_ at losing all the challenges for the past few months."

North Dakota unexpectedly raised her hand just then. "Out of all the contestants, who got the top scores?" she demanded. Chris looked over the heavy stacks of paper, and said, "Ummm... okay. In third place, out of everybody, was Maine, with a ninety-six. In second place, Washington, with a ninety-eight, and in first place... _you_, North Dakota. With a ninety-nine."

North Dakota enjoyed a private moment of satisfaction at having beaten quite literally everybody. She acted as though she despised rivals, though she reveled in beating them. She even briefly considered flipping off a rather befuddled and annoyed Washington.

"Alright! Looks like we're gonna have to set up for a rather special _gameshow_," Chris cryptically revealed to just about everybody. "We're staying here for the rest of the day, kids, so get comfy. We meet back here at seven for the last voting ceremony of Team America! Who will make it? Who won't? Find out after the break!"

A few contestants started rolling their eyes; Chris was doing his obligatory "commercial break" thing again. After a few moments of just staring into the camera, it was shut off, and he stretched. "Welp. Interns, get cracking on the set up," he declared. "Let's make this a big deal."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_115_mp3**

"Honestly... I'm a little nervous about going up for this game show. I mean, it's me versus Virginia, right? And obviously, all the fans are going to be rooting for me, but... still. I just shake this bad feeling I've got. I can't help but wondering if this team was always cursed from the moment Michigan was kicked off. Maybe even before then. Who knows."

Illinois

**7:00 PM.**

"Welcome back... to The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

Chris stood in a handsome tuxedo in the middle of a cafeteria. Two podiums rested behind him, as he addressed the twenty-three contestants sitting patiently in the audience before him. "You're coming here _live_ to the official tie-breaker between Virginia and Illinois!"

New Mexico leaned toward an Intern, and whispered, "Hey, we're not _really_ doing this live, are we...?" To that, he got a stiff shake of the head, meaning no.

"Meet Virginia!" Chris announced, gesturing towards the girl. "For her audition tape, she simply bagged groceries at her local Whole Foods and told us why she was a perfect fit for the show. We were enchanted by her 'everyday girl' approach! But on the other hand..."

Chris face Illinois now. "Meet Illinois, straight from the heart of Chicago!" Chris introduced. "In his audition tape, Illinois showed us extensive footage of his Lego collection! He let us meet his tiny little dachshund, whom he calls Betsy! Who would've thought it would be _him_ to be one of the final two in Team America? Not me, that's for sure!"

Illinois's face burned with shame. Chris smirked, and addressed the audience of contestants once more. "We're doing something a little _fun_ today!" he announced. "It'll be a game show, with eight questions about each of dear, departed teammates! And by departed, of course, I mean voted off without hesitation. Whichever one of you with the most points wins!"

Virginia clapped her hands in excitement and determination, while Illinois stood fearlessly.

"Your first question is about a fan favorite: West Virginia! Here it is. Virginia, I _expect_ you to get this one!"

Virginia seemed as though she'd almost completely forgotten her escapades with West Virginia. It seemed like centuries ago. Chris looked over a note card, and asked, "In Act 1, Episode 3, where is it suspected that West Virginia hid Virginia's toothbrush for safekeeping? Is it..."

"A, under his bed...

B, next to the sink...

C, in his pants...

or D, in his hair?"

Illinois was stumped. "How am I supposed to know?" he argued. "This question is obviously tailored to Virginia!"

Virginia raised a hand, and quietly asked, "Is it... C? In his pants? Because I remember that one time pretty well."

"C is correct!" Chris shouted. "One point for Virginia! Next question. This one is about Wisconsin! Does anybody remember him? I'm pretty sure they don't! He never talked much. Anyways. True or false! Wisconsin said something the night he was voted off in Act 1, Episode 10."

Virginia raised a hand, and yelled, "True!"

"_Wrong!_ Bad guess, Virginia!" Chris yelled. After a moment of hesitation, Illinois raised a hand, and asked, "Uh... so it's false?"

"Correct! Illinois gets a point!" Chris awarded. "One to one! That means-"

"Hey!" Virginia yelled. "It was obvious once I was proved wrong that it was true, and not false! That's no fair!"

Chris shrugged. "Too bad! Third question. This one is about Michigan! The question is... Michigan's fan, who cornered him in Act 1, Episode 13. What was her name? Is it..."

"A, Shannon...

B, Shelby...

C, Alicia...

or D, Shelley?"

Illinois raised a hand, determined to get the right answer before Virginia this time. "The answer is C!" he yelled. "I remember her saying something about an Alicia!"

"Wrong, Illinois! Virginia, any guesses?"

Virginia thought about it for a moment. "Um... it wasn't Shannon, was it?" she asked tentatively.

"Wrooong! Both of you are wrong! The correct answer was B! No points, and you're still tied. Next question! This one's about Kentucky. In Act 1, Episode 1, what team name did Kentucky initially suggest for Team America? Was it..."

"A, Team Onion...

B, Team Orange...

C, Team Avocado...

or D, Team America?"

This question required some thinking. "Um..." Virginia thought. "Isn't it Team Onion? Because I remember tellin' him-"

"Correct!" Chris acknowledged. "One point for Virginia! It's two to one now. Question number five. This one's about North Carolina."

"In Act 1, Episode 5, which of these were North Carolina's very first words recorded into the episode? Was it..."

"A, 'Nice going, Indiana,'...

B, 'They really expect us to walk across the entire state?'...

C, 'Don't worry, guys. I know how to ski. It'll be fine,'...

or D, 'Uh huh. I recall you stating last week that Pennsylvania would be voted off,'?"

Virginia nearly jumped up from her podium. "B!" she cried. "It's B! I remember Episode 5 was the one where we had to walk across Rhode Island!"

"Wrooong! Decent guess, though!" Chris told her. "North Carolina never said that! Illinois, do you have a guess?"

Illinois shrugged. "A guess? Yeah," he muttered. "I guess D, because it's the only letter we haven't used in the multiple choice questions."

...

"Wow, Illinois... yes, it's D," Chris muttered, face-palming. "_Brilliant _deductive skills. It's tied again. Two to two. Let's kick this up a notch. Question number six! It's about Ohio!"

"True or false? The feud between Ohio and Michigan during Act 1, Episode 14 indirectly _or_ directly caused Team Victory's sand castle to fall down."

...

"Uh. True?" Virginia asked, before Illinois had a chance to say anything. "Because I remember that happening-"

"Wrong!"

...

"Okay, so it's false," Illinois stated matter-of-factly. Chris clapped his hands, and confirmed it. "Correct, Illinois! Two to three, in Illinois's favor! Looks like it's heating up! Question seven, about Maryland. Which of these was the first recorded line of Maryland in the entire show? Hint: this is from Act 1, Episode 7! Is it..."

"A, 'Wait, someone voted for me,'...

B, 'The toilet's clogged. Who did it?'...

C, 'West Virginia is being weird again,'...

or D, 'Does anyone wanna play Monopoly with me?'?"

Virginia gasped. "I remember this!" she cried. "She told me - about the toilet - it's B! I remember!"

"Correct!" Chris awarded. "It's now _tied again!_ Uh oh... that means this next question is the official tie-breaker!"

Chris was having way too much fun with this. It was beginning to get late, too. Chris looked over the final note card. "The final question!" he declared, slightly unnecessarily. "Question number eight. It's about Indiana. Which of the following is _not_ a statement Indiana said during her final episode, which was Act 2, Episode 25? Remember, which of these is _not_ something she said. Is it..."

"A, 'Wow, it's like we have Blaineley as a host again since she's apparently here every challenge now!'...

B, 'Not _him_. He's such a weirdo,'...

C, 'Fuck off, Blaineley,'...

or D, 'I think I'll be pretty happy to finally get home,'?"

Illinois raised his hand instantaneously, as did Virginia. "It's D!" Illinois screamed. "She never would've said something positive like that!"

"_WRONG!_" Chris shouted in return. "Dreadfully wrong! Those were actually her last words on the show! And it was literally less than a few days ago! How could you forget? Well... looks like it's up to Virginia. Do you know the right answer?"

Virginia hesitated, glancing at the expectant faces of more than two-dozen people, not even mentioning the cameras pointed her way. "Um..." she muttered. "I remember her saying A... and maybe B... but I don't think she would've... hm. Okay. My final answer is C."

...

...

...

"That is _correct, Virginia!_ Virginia, you _win!_ You are now the _only member of Team America!_"

"What?" Illinois cried. "Wait. No! No, Chris, there's gotta be a mistake!"

"No mistakes here! Get out of here, Illinois, before we have to restrain you."

Nobody seemed very sorry to see Illinois go kicking and screaming. It didn't appear he made very many friends at all, which was a mild shame. The only sound left of him was the clanging of a cafeteria door, signalling his departure. Virginia raised her hand.

"Um... since I'm the last person of Team America..." she began slowly. "What happens now?"

Chris shrugged. "This is your team!" he told her. "You're the last one. It's business as usual. If you lose a challenge, then you go home, simple as that. Hopefully, though, you'll at least stick around until the merge."

Chris was about to stride off towards the doors with everyone else, right before Virginia caught his arm with one last request. "Wait!" she yelled. "One last request."

"Ugh. God. Okay, what is it?"

"Can I change the name of the team to 'Team Virginia'?"

...

Chris glanced at his clipboard and sighed. "Yeah... sure, whatever..." he murmured. "Team Virginia it is. Happy?"

Virginia was more than happy. She was the last contestant standing on a team ravaged by destruction and voting ceremonies almost every other episode. She was the last woman standing. And in a show like this, where any day could be your last, this was definitely something worth celebrating.

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, and Illinois.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Knifez, Winkie4, weeaboopunk, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator -** And thus, the curse is lifted. Or something like that. Kind of weird finally having a one person team. It'll be fun to write for!

Also: EPISODE 23, THE SEPTEMBER DEBATES, IS FINALLY COMPLETELY REWRITTEN! Go check it out, if you were disappointed by the fact that it was half-finished due to my temporary stupidity. Sorry about that, again! It really shouldn't happen again, but FanFiction is rather finicky. Here's to hoping, eh?

Go vote on the poll! Have you not done that? Why not? Are you afraid? Are you gonna be a... _chicken?_ Go on. Give into peer pressure. Vote for the contestant _you_ are rooting for!

And lastly, review! Read! Favorite and follow if you love this story or something like that! We're on the home stretch to the end of Act 2 here, people. I'm excited. Especially for the merge. Think of all the writing opportunities with all these contestants mingling finally! Now Washington will finally have someone to talk to other than Oregon! Oh boy! Excitement!


	28. Gay

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - **(**Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas**) **and Tennessee.

**Team Democracy** - Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, and Pennsylvania.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team Virginia** - Virginia.

**EPISODE 27: GAY**

_"We all have to confront our identities no matter what, Oregon. You can either try to run from it... or concede to it. And aren't you tired of running?" - Washington_

**Saturday, October 4th, 2014. Chicago, Illinois. 7:09 AM.**

Three months had finally passed in The Fifty State Roadtrip.

The show's popularity was beginning to mount again. It was even attracting international attention, with countries over in Europe and even Asia demanding editions of the show in their language. Chris was now regularly making it in the tabloids, as excited fans caught glimpses of him in various states. For now, however, he was leading the five buses a little further west, into Illinois.

One of those five buses was completely empty except for one person. And the driver, of course, but they never count. That one contestant was Virginia, who'd spent the previous few days simply _enjoying_ the benefit of solitude for once, from a team that was once full of bickering, yelling, whining-

Now, there was only _silence_. As a generous yellow sun rose over the horizon and above the yellow-leafed trees, Virginia sat to enjoy a Poptart. No longer did she have to argue about having to split it with Kentucky, or worried about West Virginia disinfecting her bed again. No more were the disgruntled mumblings of Ohio as he strode through the bus, complaining about Michigan's newest folly. She was finally all alone. She actually _survived_.

Virginia's day, up until the challenge, consisted of sleeping in late, watching TV to her heart's content, eating at least two packages of Poptarts, and using the shower for _more_ than five minutes. It was paradise.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_116_mp3**

"I gotta admit, I _am_ a little nervous about bein' on my own against a bunch of teams with no less than five people each. I guess I gotta toughen up, huh? Though... I'm not sure how I even _got_ this far without bein' tough."

Virginia

**9:23 AM.**

Team Democracy's bus rode in somber silence as it approached a huge city not far away at this point. The team was enjoying relative stability, after New Jersey was voted off. But even still, tensions had gradually been rising for the past month or so as a teammate got voted off, one by one. A situation like that could make anybody terrified for the future.

And New York couldn't help but wonder what would happen when the team happened to lose a challenge before the merge. Or two. It was possible, after all. When it happened, who would be voted off? Somehow... it seemed all too likely to be him. Or so he thought, anyways.

_Okay. So. Right now, we're good. We've done well as a team, especially last challenge. But what happens when we lose one?_

New York paced incessantly around his bunk room with a worried expression.

_So who do we need? Me, obviously. We need to keep Pennsylvania... and probably Massachusetts, if I want support after the merge... Connecticut, well, he's expendable. And so is Maine, though I doubt Massachusetts would be okay with me voting her off... I need to get someone on my side._

New York quietly opened the door of his bunk room, and peeked around the hallway. Pennsylvania was at the end of it, standing in front of the door to the bathroom, evidently waiting for Maine to finish her shower.

"Hey, Penn..." New York quietly greeted, startling Pennsylvania. "Jesus! York, you nearly scared me..." Pennsylvania muttered, though she seemed somewhat glad to see him. "What's up?"

"Well... we're friends, right, Penn?"

"When did you start calling me Penn?"

New York froze. "Maine calls you that, right?" he asked.

"Well... yeah, she does, but that's just her nickname for me... well, never mind, _yes_, we're friends, York. We all are. Why?"

New York sighed. Evidently, Pennsylvania was under the impression that everything was totally okay on the team, and that there was no need to worry about getting voted off when the time came. New York took a breath, and mentioned, "In... the event that our team lost a challenge soon... I... just want to make sure I have your support."

"York, I'm _not_ gonna vote you off. Don't worry-"

"No, not like that... I mean... I want you to _help me_ vote someone off."

Pennsylvania froze. "What?" she asked. "Who? Why would you want to do that?"

"Well. It's Connecticut. I... think he might be conspiring against the team."

Everything coming out of New York's mouth was baloney, and he knew it, but Pennsylvania didn't.

"But Connecticut is so nice! York, are you sure?"

New York hesitated at that, and then nodded his head affirmatively. "I'm pretty sure. Just... watch out for him, okay?"

**9:51 AM.**

Chicago. The Windy City.

Five buses sped towards the metropolis one morning under a sunny sky, though the air outside was rather chilly. Winds swept from Lake Michigan into the city as the contestants crowded around the windows of their buses to check out the view.

"Wow!" Georgia yelped. "Look at all those skyscrapers..."

The towers of Chicago themselves seemed to reach up to brush the sky with their points. The buses took the exit off the I-90 and into the city. It looked like the day's challenge would be filmed in this huge city. On the sidewalks, businessmen and women bustled their way past the buildings, all perpetually checking their watches.

The buses descended deeper into the city, as the view around them became shrouded in the shadows of the tall monoliths. The buses, though they _had _been painted back to black after the previous challenge, _did_ arouse a great deal of interest from a couple of the tourists roaming the streets. In fact, by the time the contestants had arrived at their destination, the current rumor among the people of Chicago was that a "big movie production was coming to town". They weren't too far off the mark.

Eventually, the destination became clear; the buses were approaching none other than the official Chicago Theatre. Its sign was all lit, and seemed ready for a Broadway performance, despite the fact that this was not New York City. With a long, whining creak, the five buses all stopped in front of the structure. Chris was already waiting for them, wearing a nice set of shades and a bright smile.

"Good morning, contestants!" he greeted. "Welcome to Chicago! It's pretty big, huh?"

Nobody answered him, but simply took in the sights and smells of the big city. Chris then addressed the theater. "As you've probably figured out, today's challenge has to do with acting!" he yelled. "So... we've got a few friendly judges again. You all know Chef, but say hello to Blaineley again!"

Blaineley appeared with a confident smirk, gazing disapprovingly over the exactly two dozen contestants. "Hello, Chris," she greeted. "I see Team America is at least five hundred times better now."

Blaineley jerked her thumb towards Virginia, who stood all alone. "No, that's Team 'Virginia' now," Chris explained. "She's kind of the only one left."

"I can tell, Chris. _Thanks_," Blaineley said spitefully. "Whatever. Am I here to judge, or not?"

"You are!" Chris reassured. "I've just gotta tell these kids what their challenge is first. Ahem. Each team will be acting out a play!"

Everyone listened attentively to Chris now as he explained. "You may choose a preexisting play, or you can write one yourself! Just remember, you've only got an hour to prepare, and then we're gonna go ahead and start. Pretty simple! I expect to be _fully_ impressed at the end of all this."

He then waved a hand impatiently for the kids to follow him into the theater. "Let's go!" he shouted. "Haven't got all day, and this place is a _hell_ of a lot more expensive to rent than you'd think."

**10:02 AM.**

"Alright. So. Game plan, guys," New Mexico yelled, urging Team Victory to gather round. All the teams were selecting actors and preparing ideas for their play. "Washington, you got any idea on what we ought'a do for the script?"

Washington thought about it for a brief moment. "I suppose we could... do a _modified_ version of... Romeo and Juliet?" he suggested. "As in, one with a different ending. Who wants to play Jul-"

"I do!" California squealed, jumping up and down. Washington's eyebrows rose above his glasses, and consented. "Alright. California's Juliet. Who's going to be Romeo?"

"I wanna be the funny guy," Hawaii stated blankly. "The... that guy. Mercury... or whatever his name is."

Washington stared at Hawaii for a second before comprehending. "Oh! You mean Mercutio?" he said. "Yeah, you can be him. We still need a Romeo, though."

Reluctantly, Oregon raised his hand after glancing over California for a brief moment. "I'll do it..." he mumbled. "I like acting a lot."

"Okay. Sweet. So who'll play Rosaline...? And what about Tybalt and the other characters?"

As Team Victory hashed out the details of their play, Virginia was sort of awkwardly doing her own thing, perusing a few solo scripts she liked, when all of a sudden, North Dakota appeared at her side.

"Hi!" North Dakota exclaimed, extending a hand. "I'm North Dakota. It's _so_ nice to meet you."

Virginia glanced at North Dakota, a little surprised, but shook her hand regardless. "Okay. I'm Virginia. Nice... to meet you, too."

North Dakota smiled semi-sweetly, and looked over whatever Virginia was doing. "Oh, you're all alone on your team?" she asked, as though she hadn't even known. "That's a bummer. If you're up to it... I suppose, whenever the merge happens, you could join _my_ team..."

"Oh, well, that's really kind of you, North Da-"

And just like that, New York appeared at Virginia's side. "New York. Pleasure to meet you," he greeted Virginia. "Are you two... discussing something? Because... Virginia, you shouldn't trust her. If you want... after the merge, I could offer you a place on my team."

Virginia was a little annoyed to see New York butt in on her conversation like that, but held her tongue when she heard his word of warning. North Dakota shot him a deadly glare, yet stated happily, "Oh, don't mind _us_, New York. Go on back over to your team."

Virginia, now caught up in whatever North Dakota and New York were arguing about, quietly stepped away, and towards the box of costumes.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_117_mp3**

"Poor, poor Virginia, all alone on her team. Sure, she's probably relishing the fact that she's got no teammates to worry about, yes... but she'll have to pick a team when the merge happens. I'm just trying to get her on my _good_ side. New alliance members are _always_ welcome. We... _do_ get to pick teams during the merge... right? Because I'm kind of hinging all my plans on that fact and it'd kind of be lame if that's now how it'll work."

North Dakota

**10:38 AM.**

"Turn, step, one, two, three, _left_, one, two, three, _right_, one, two, three, _jazz hands_..."

Massachusetts was leading his team in figuring out choreography, which he claimed would help immensely with the visuals of their play. For now, they were doing a musical about a young lad arriving in Chicago months before the Great Depression, which they'd dug out of a sealed box behind some curtains. New York would be the manager, while Connecticut was assigned the role of the young lad, whose name was simply "Danny". It would be an intricate play, sure, but hopefully one that would gain a couple extra points in terms of style.

Meanwhile, Team Touchdown was having some unforeseen problems in production. Mississippi and Georgia were having trouble fitting into their dresses, which would play a big role in their play adaptation of Cinderella.

"It's too tight 'round the waist!" Mississippi whined, jumping up and down in her dress. "It won't _fit__!_"_  
><em>

"Yeah, well, you're gonna play Cinderella, so you might as well do it anyways," Texas reminded her. "Think we need to do rehearsals? We only got like twenty more minutes left."

"Nah, we don't gotta do rehearsals," Alabama claimed, dressed in a rather pompous, regal outfit. "It ain't like a football game. You don't gotta practice."

Texas shrugged. The logic seemed sturdy enough to him. The only person who wasn't okay with all this was Tennessee, who was sulking in the corner.

"I don't see why I gotta be one of the stepsisters," she pouted. "This is awfully biased of y'all-"

"Yeah, well, I don't see much support of what you've got to say, Tennessee," Alabama snapped suddenly. "You'll do what you're told be be hopeful that we'll let you back on our side."  
>At that, Tennessee shrunk, yet gazed at Louisiana for support. Louisiana noticed Tennessee staring, and inched away with an incredibly guilty expression.<p>

**10:56 AM.**

"Oh, swear not by the moon, the... inconstant moon," California explained, peering closely at a script with Oregon as Washington supervised. "That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thigh-"

"It's thy."

"-thy love prove likewise variable," California finished after stuttering slightly. Oregon cleared his throat nervously, and asked in character, "What shall I swear by?"

"Do not swear at all; or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my ido... idalo... idolotry-"

"Idolatry," Washington corrected.

"-idolatry," California repeated, smiling slightly. Washington glanced over his script and marked a line through a section. "Okay, so here's where Rosaline comes in," he said. "This is the big turning point. Arizona, you're playing her, right?"

Arizona popped her head from behind a box of costumes she'd been rummaging through. "Oh! Are we rehearsing?" she asked, and stood. "Where's my part begin?"

Washington pointed at a highlighted section on her script. "Start there. Don't read the stage prompts-"

"Rosaline enters, and is shocked to see Romeo standing before-"

"Don't read the stage prompts. Just read the highlighted parts."

"Oh," Arizona mumbled, and squinted. "Romeo!" she cried. "Doth your weary legs seek a stroll? 'Tis a surprise to find thee wandering the courtyards of the house of Capulet!"

Oregon addressed Arizona, stating, "Ah, Rosaline. Hath mine correspondence arrived yet? Say no more; for I have found another to give my heart. Be gone."

Arizona read over her part quickly, and then said, "Romeo! Doth thine heart change allegiance so fluidly? It seemed but a moment ago thine eyes were set upon me! Surely I must be of some use to thine aching heart."

"But of what use art thou when the one I really love is near?" Oregon responded. "Lady Rosaline, forgive me, for I love another."

"Say it isn't so!"

"Indeed, Rosaline," Oregon confirmed after Arizona burst into a fit of silent giggles at her melodramatic line. "For I, Romeo of Montague, am in love with Juliet!"

"Ah... ahem, sorry," Arizona apologized. "Where were we? Oh... Rosaline stomps off in a fit of-"

"You don't say anything there. That's just a stage prompt," Washington informed her. "I think that's the last place you're in the play."

"Oh," Arizona said. "Alright. I'm gonna keep looking through the costumes."

Just then, Chris's magnified voice exploded from a bullhorn not far away. "_Time's up!_" he yelled. "_Put everything back in the boxes that you won't be using! Team Dakota, you're up first!_"

**11:09 AM.**

A stage was dimmed. A curtain parted.  
>Four teenagers stood on stage, dressed in peasant attire. The lights were dimmed. Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska all stood side by side. And then they began to sing.<p>

"_Day by day, night by night, we stand in North Dakota's light!_" they all chanted. "_She lights the way, each day by day, making all our lives right!_"  
>Just then, South Dakota appeared from the side and onto the stage. "Good morrow, citizens!" she cried. "Our noble leader approaches! Make way, make way!"<p>

North Dakota strode on stage, dressed in an elaborate set up of fine cloth and jewels. "Peasants," she simply addressed to the rabble. She then turned to her sister and asked, "How are things in the kingdom? I've heard the crop yield is much higher than that of the neighboring kingdoms."

"Oh, yes, mi'lady!" South Dakota exclaimed as the townspeople bowed before North Dakota. "Higher than ever! We've got more wheat than all the other kingdoms!"

"Good," North Dakota replied, surveying her "kingdom" approvingly. But then, South Dakota muttered, "However... there is a problem, Glorious Leader. A neighboring kingdom has declared war."

"Is that so?" North Dakota asked, seemingly amused. "Let me guess. The one that worships that American sport?"

"If only, Glorious Leader," South Dakota admitted. "If it were them, we would not have to worry at all. Nay, 'tis instead the Kingdom of Victory. Their leader has challenged you, mi'lady."

North Dakota sneered at the audience of around twenty contestants. Washington, who was sitting in the back row, furrowed his eyebrows a little. "Tell the Kingdom of Victory I said 'Good riddance!'," North Dakota cried. "They shall know true leadership!"

"Hear, hear!" the townspeople cried, raising their arms for North Dakota. And then, the lights dimmed briefly for a scene change.

"I love it," Blaineley whispered to Chris, sitting in the front row with Chef. "She's so independent."

The lights came on again, revealing North Dakota sitting on what appeared to be a plastic throne. Colorado appeared, though this time he was dressed in a military soldier's garb. "Glorious Leader!" he cried. "The Kingdom of Victory's regiment has approached the front gate! What are we to do?"

North Dakota sneered, and yelled, "Kill them all! Execute their leaders! Leave nothing for the vultures." To that, Colorado simply said, "As you wish, mi'lady," and left. For a brief moment, North Dakota simply sat on her throne, evidently looking "thoughtful", when South Dakota approached, smiling brightly. "North Dakota, excellent news," South Dakota claimed. "The Kingdom of Victory has surrendered! Their leader has been executed! We are to gain their territory! Oh, happy day!"

The ruler of the Kingdom of Dakota smirked. "All according to plan," North Dakota said. "Excellent work, my adviser. Tell the peasants they did well. May the Kingdom of Dakota live forevermore!"

North Dakota stood, and then bowed as the lights came on once more. That was the end of the play. Chris looked vaguely amused and impressed at the same time, while Blaineley appeared to adore North Dakota. "Not bad!" Chris yelled. "Not bad at all. Blaineley, you seem eager, what do you think?"

"Well..." Blaineley began, looking over the cast of North Dakota's play. "I think North Dakota did a terrific job in putting down the _lesser_ contestants. She certainly seems to have a hold on her team. I give her an eight!"

Chef shrugged. "Meh. It was short. But when we get outta here, we've got lunch, so short is _good!_ I give 'em a seven."

"I think I'm gonna have to give you guys a seven, too!" Chris acknowledged. "Which puts your total score at twenty-two! Impressive job. I liked it a lot. Thanks, Team Dakota! You're all done."

Chris wrote a few things down on his notepad, and then looked up. "Next, let's have... Team Touchdown!" he announced. "Team Touchdown, _come on up!_"

**11:57 AM.**

"And bippity-boppity-boo!" Georgia cried, waving a stick all around Mississippi. "You are now _fit to go to the ball!_ But remember, the spell wears off at midn-"

"Oh, thank you!" Mississippi cried, gasping at the magic. "Cinderella then runs to the ball to meet Prince Char-"

"_Y'all ain't supposed to say the stage directions!_" Texas whispered harshly from off stage. Mississippi's eyes went wide, and remembered. "Oh! Yes! I suppose I will do the thing that I just said!"

Chris face-palmed, yet didn't say anything. Mississippi skipped off-stage, and then the lights were dimmed. Moments later, they were turned on again, with Alabama standing in some incredibly pompous clothing and surrounded by the girls of Team Touchdown. "Oh, my!" he cried. "A beautiful woman is attending the ball!"

He was, of course, referring to Mississippi, who blushed deeply at her boyfriend's words. "Hi..." she murmured to Alabama. "Are you Prince Charmin'?"

"Why, yes I am," Alabama said. "We need to marry by the mornin'!"

Just then, the "clock", which was just Texas yelling "DONG" in the back ground, stuck midnight. Mississippi gave out an exaggerated gasp, and jumped away from Alabama. "I need to go!" she cried. She then purposely took off one of her shoes, dropped it on the ground, and yelled, "Hope I don't forget anythin' as I'm runnin' out!"

"Wait!" Alabama cried. "Your shoe! You left your shoe!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_118_mp3**

"I _loved_ playin' Cinderella! It was sooo fun. And... so _what_ if we lost? It don't matter that much!"

Mississippi

**12:05 PM.**

"To find out who was at the ball last night, I'm gonna have all the ladies in the village try on this shoe!" Alabama yelled. "While I do, I will ignore the fact that many dozens of girls could have the exact same shoe size as the woman I saw last night!"

Louisiana took the shoe from Alabama and attempted to try it on, only to find that it wouldn't fit at all. Georgia, now playing as an evil stepsister, went next, and had similar results. When Tennessee tried it on, it actually fit pretty well, but the cast all acted like it didn't. And then, it was Mississippi's turn to try on her shoe.

She eagerly took the "glass slipper", which was actually just a worn-down sneaker, and thrust it onto her foot. It did not fit. She started jiggling her foot around and ramming it harder into the shoe, but no matter what she did, it wouldn't go back in. Alabama was beginning to glance around awkwardly. It was no until half a minute later that he finally cried, "And Cinderella is proven to be the girl!"

Tennessee, Louisiana, and Georgia all cheered as the shoe dangled off the tip of Mississippi's foot. Georgia then cried, "And they lived happily ever after!"

A long silence followed her exclamation. Chris let out a long, long sigh. "Wow," he muttered. "That was... _something_. Uh... jeez, um... I guess I give it... a four? For effort?"

A dawning look of realization flooded into Mississippi's eyes. Chef frowned at Chris, and barked, "Well, I think they didn't do real good at all! They get a _two_ from me!"

It was now Blaineley's turn to sigh and stare blankly at the six contestants from Team Touchdown on stage. "Gonna have to go with a five here, but that's it," she said. "Not very impressive. Sorry, kids!"

Chris checked his watch, and did some basic mental math in his head. "That means Team Touchdown's total score is eleven!" he announced. "Ouch. Wonder if another team's gonna sink lower than that. Thanks, Team Touchdown. That... really was something. Let's have some Team Democracy next!"

**1:19 PM.**

"Mister Peabody!" Massachusetts cried, waving a newspaper around Connecticut's face. "Danny! Didn't you hear? They're closing down the oilery!"

"By Becquerel's ghost!" Connecticut yelled, staring at the paper. "Stock market's crashed? Unemployment's abound? Aaron, my friend, you know what this means... _another musical number!_"

A lot of people in the audience groaned at that. For almost the past hour, "Danny"'s journey into Chicago was mainly a lot of off-key singing and a ton of dancing. And now, music suddenly burst out of the loudspeakers once again.

"_We are the sons and daughters of a revolution, revolutionaries walking us out of oppression and into a no-low promise land,_" Connecticut sang.

"_And this is leaves us with a great sense of sadness dwelling inside our soul,_" Massachusetts then chimed. "_No one can explain where it's coming from or where its taking us!_"

And then, one by one, "flapper girls" emerged from behind the curtains; they were only Pennsylvania and Maine, however. All together, they all sang, "_We just know that something is lost, but somehow we are lost, lost! And this my friend, is the Great Depression!_"

The music began to dial down a little for the scene. "Well, Danny, what are we to do?" Massachusetts asked as the music continued in the background. "The oilery's closed! Rumor has it that Mister Nickels committed suicide over it! What's our next course of action, Danny?"

"I've got the brightest idea!" Connecticut declared. "We _siiing!_"

"Okay!" Chris yelled suddenly, throwing his hands up. "_Okay!_ No more! That's enough! _Thank_ you, Team Democracy! That was _really_ enlightening."

Connecticut seemed a little surprised. "But we're not even halfway through," he said blankly. When Chris heard that, his eyebrows seemed to go through the roof. "Which is why we should probably end this here, because it costs a _lot_ of money to rent this place on a weekend!" he yelled. "Judges! What are your scores? Personally, I give a seven just because it's well-rehearsed. Chef? What do you think?"

Chris glanced over at Chef, who seemed asleep. "Chef!" Chris yelled. "Wake up, dude! You gotta judge!"

Chef stirred sleepily. "Mmmnh. Six..." he murmured without even opening his eyes. "I say six... now lemme sleep, damn it..."

"Riiight..." Chris muttered, jotting something down on his notepad. "Gotcha. Blaineley? What are your thoughts?"

Blaineley shrugged, after looking up from her phone, upon which she'd apparently been playing Angry Birds. "I give an eight," she decided after a moment. "I like the Broadway-style performances. Too long, though."

"...putting Team Democracy's final score at twenty-one!" Chris declared. "Exactly one point below Team Dakota's score of twenty-two! So they've still got the lead, it looks like. Thank you, Democracy. You guys are done. Can we get Team America up here now?"

There was no response from the audience. Chris turned around in his seat to peer at the two-dozen contestants. "Team America! Where are you? We need you to - wait..."

Chris sighed exaggeratedly, and yelled, "Team _Virginia?_ You there?"

Only at that did Virginia stand. "I'm here!" she yelled. "I'm ready."

"Good. Head on up and _wow_ us with a one-woman show."

Virginia slowly made her way to the stage, and stood in front of the microphone, getting in character. This was her moment.

...

"I can't take it anymore," Virginia simply stated. "I was up every day at six. Every day. Up at six, take a shower, wake my baby brother Benny, make breakfast... something healthy... not sugary cereal. Sit down with Benny and mom for breakfast. Eat a tiny portion. Be sure to leave some on the plate. Always leave some on the plate..."

Virginia seemed to be going into a long-winded monologue about something that had to do with her life before her time on the show. "Get dressed into my school uniform," Virginia continued. "Kiss my mom goodbye. Make sure to give her a little something worth coming back home to. Check on Benny. Comb his hair. Pack his lunch. Wait with him for the bus. Hug him goodbye. Make sure that hug lasts all day long... that he feels your arms around her even at recess when the mean kids pick on him because their sisters don't hug them enough. Then let go. Watch him walk away, board the bus, and go to school."

"Choke back your tears. Taste the salt slide down the back of your throat. Climb on the bus to the high school. Find an empty seat. Keep to yourself. Always keep to yourself. Watch the trees of Richmond go by. Wonder what it'd be like to be somewhere else. A bus without so many people. One without so much drama. A bus... with only one person. Me."

Virginia paused solemnly for a moment, to let that sink in with everyone. "And then... I got my wish," she said. "A few months later, I got on a different bus. One with nine other people. Contestants, they were called. And... one by one... _they vanished_. And I'm the last one left. And that fact utterly _terrifies me_."

She stood in silence for about ten seconds, and then bowed.

...

Virginia received a ten from Chris, a ten from chef, and an eight from Blaineley because "the residues of Indiana still cling to the walls of that team. But good work regardless." Virginia was in first place now. Before she knew it, she was being led off the stage to be congratulated. And just seconds later, Team Victory climbed up to begin their edited version of Romeo and Juliet.

**2:01 PM.**

"Do not swear at all; or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idalo - idolotry," California recited to Oregon. Just then, Arizona walked on stage.

"Romeo!" Arizona cried. "Doth your weary legs seek a stroll? 'Tis a surprise to find thee wandering the courtyards of the house of Capulet!"

Oregon turned to Arizona, stating, "Ah, Rosaline. Hath mine correspondence arrived yet? Say no more; for I have found another to give my heart. Be gone."

Arizona then said, "Romeo! Doth thine heart change allegiance so fluidly? It seemed but a moment ago thine eyes were set upon me! Surely I must be of some use to thine aching heart."

"But of what use art thou when the one I really love is near?" Oregon asked approaching Arizona. "Lady Rosaline, forgive me, for I love another."

"Say it isn't so!" Arizona cried, a look of feigned shock on her face. Oregon grimly nodded to the audience, and confirmed, "Indeed, Rosaline. For I, Romeo of Montague, am in love with _Washington__!_"

There was a split moment of silence. Oregon's face contorted into that of absolute shock, terrified at what he'd just said. And then, Washington appeared from behind the curtain-

"Hark!" Washington cried, as Oregon looked even more horrified. "I, Tybalt of Capulet, approach. Doth thou speak the truth, Romeo? You love Lady _Juliet_, of Capulet?"

"I - no - I mean... yes! I love Juliet! My - my love resides with Lady Juliet!"

Washington brandished a "sword". "Fiend!" he cried. "You shall _not_ lay a hand on my fellow Capulet! A duel to the death, then!"_  
><em>

Arizona rapidly scooted over to Washington and harshly whispered, "_Washington!_ This isn't in the script! And did Oregon _just say_-"

"_Just go with it!_ Rosaline! Step away, before thy innocent apparel be soaked in the unworthy blood of this Montague scum named Romeo! Have at thee, fiend!"

Washington charged Oregon and "stabbed" him with the sword. Oregon fell, relieved to no longer play a part in the production. Washington stood victorious. "It is done!" he cried. "Romeo has fallen!"

"Boooo!" Chris yelled. "He's supposed to be the star!"

"Not anymore," Washington grimly claimed. "Mercutio! What do you make of your slain comrade?"

Hawaii ran onstage, staring in horror at what Washington had done. "_Washington!_" Hawaii whispered. "What are you _doing? _This isn't in the script! What do I _say?_"

"_Just improvise, Hawaii!_ What's that? You wish to duel with me, as well? Then I shall make thee a satisfied man this night!"

Washington then charged Hawaii with his sword, forcing Hawaii to retaliate with his own. They fought briefly, up until Washington was thrust back and onto the ground, faking a death. "Oh! Woe is me!" Washington cried. "My blood be at thine sword, wretched Mercutio! I have... _fallen_... curse thee, Mercutio!"_  
><em>

And then Hawaii improvised. "Juliet!" he called. "You alright?"

"I - wow - yes-"

"_California, we're improvising, just go with it._"

"_Okay!_"_  
><em>

"What's that?" Hawaii asked, leaning in. "You wanna _date me?_"

"I do?" California yelped, stunned. Hawaii nodded. "I, Mercutio, take the hand of Juliet!" he yelled to the audience. "And we lived happily ever after! The end."

This left the audience in a stunned silence. "A rendition of Romeo and Juliet where _Mercutio_ ends up with Juliet...?" Chris murmured. "Wow. I did _not_ see this one coming. Uh... I'm gonna need to get a second opinion here before I say anything... _Blaineley!_ What did you think?"

Blaineley narrowed her eyes at the stage. "It's obvious none of that was supposed to happen," she said thoughtfully. "But... they kept their cool and didn't stop the show. So I give them a seven."

Chris's eyebrows raised. "None of that was supposed to happen?" he asked. Hawaii gave a guilty nod from the stage. "Oh. Well, in that case," Chris began, "I give you guys a four! You made a mistake! Mistakes are _bad_ in the show business! Chef, what are your thoughts-"

"Five! I just wanna get outta here for _lunch_. These are the last guys, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Good." And with that, Chef stood up from his seat, and lurched towards the back door of the theater, leaving Chris with Blaineley and all the kids in the audience. "Well... guess that puts Team Victory at exactly sixteen!" Chris announced. "Which is _not_ the bottom score! So... good job?"

Washington glanced around, and noticed that Oregon had ran off stage somewhere, which was more than a little worrisome. But before he could act, Chris declared, "Into the buses, everyone! We've got a voting ceremony for Team Touchdown to carry out!" And with that, everyone was led back onto the buses without another word.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_119_mp3**

"I. _Hate_. Myself. I... _how_ could I have been so utterly _stupid?_ _Why_ did I say Washington? _Why?_ I mean... nobody really reacted to it but him, but... I feel like I'm gonna be sick. This was _never_ supposed to happen. He was _never_ supposed to know. Nobody was! I bet... I bet he thinks I'm just some... some _loser_ who can't keep his mouth shut or something. I... oh, god... I bet he won't even talk to me anymore... man, _fuck this._ I hate this show."_  
><em>

Oregon

**7:03 PM.**

"Hmmm!" Chris mused, looking over the entirety of Team Touchdown under the light of a near-full moon. "Let's see here... a team of five people in an alliance... and _one person who isn't in that alliance_. Hmmm. Wonder who's gonna be the one to go home tonight!"

Everybody avoided Tennessee's glare. Chris grinned bemusedly, and consulted his notepad. "When I call your name, you get a snack! We've been sponsored by Golden Flakes recently, sooo... all I've got are all these chips. But sponsorships are good, so don't complain. If you _don't_ get a bag, then you go home! Simple as that. Alabama! Georgia! Louisiana, and Texas! No votes for any of you!"

A bundle of chips were thrown their way. Already, it was down to Mississippi and Tennessee. "Mississippi lost the challenge for you all!" Chris reminded. "But Tennessee has been a long-time dissenter to the team. You should've gotten friendly with Florida, Tennessee! But regardless. The final bag of chips... goes to..."

...

...

...

"Mississippi! Two votes!"

Mississippi gasped, and caught the bag of Barbecue Kettle Chips gratefully, forcing Tennessee to stand determinedly. Louisiana's face fell. "See you guys later. I guess..." Tennessee mumbled, and walked off towards the bus to retrieve her things. Chris stared at her as she left. "Hope you had a fun time, Tennessee!" he yelled. "Come back soon! Hah! Just kidding. You're never coming back on this show again."

Tennessee retrieved her things, and faced her dwindling team one last time. "Thanks... to the person who didn't vote for me," she muttered, eyeing Louisiana thankfully. "It's... been an alright journey, I guess."

With that, Tennessee strode off towards the awaiting taxi, shivering in the cold on her way there. And just like that, Team Touchdown was brought down to five contestants; exactly half of what it'd started with.

**9:50 PM.**

"Oregon! Wait. Please talk to me."

"No!"

A door slammed. Washington was left alone in the hall of the bus.

"You know that's my bunk room, too, Oregon. Please let me in."

There was a pause, and then the door was slowly opened. Oregon's face emerged. It was clear he'd been crying for a while.

"What do you _want_, Washington?"

Washington entered slowly, keeping his gaze set on Oregon. "I just want to talk," he quietly murmured. "It's clear there's a lot on your mind, Oregon... I just feel like you should... let some of it out."

Oregon groaned, and wiped his eyes furiously. Though he was usually the optimistic, fashionable motivator, he was evidently going through something of a breakdown. With a small sob, he leaned against the wall and refused to look at Washington.

"Please. Let me talk to you, Oregon," Washington insisted. "You're... clearly going through a lot. And I understand. But... I also want to protect you. You're thinking about a lot, right now, and-"

"How would _you know what it's like?_" Oregon snapped, fresh tears streaming. "You're - _you're Washington!_ You've got - got _everything under control!_ Always! No wonder you're the leader of our group, even though you _are_ gay! And - and you're always so - so _unafraid_ and so _calm_ in telling people what you're thinking, and so... so fluid in the way you speak, and - and - I..."

Oregon looked down at the floor, voice trailing off. Washington stared at him seriously. "I'm here to listen, Oregon."

...

"What do you _want_ from me, Washington?"

"Oregon. I support you. I support you as a _human being_ and what you're feeling and... and I don't want to see another person get hurt. I want you to succeed. I want to _protect you_. Everything I've done has been for you. I wanted to befriend you. I wanted you... I wanted you to like me."

...

Washington drew closer to Oregon, whose tear-stained eyes seemed to be giving way to Washington's gaze. "We all have to face ourselves some day," Washington reminded. "We have to be true to ourselves. People will _accept you_ for who you are, and who you're attracted to, Oregon-"

"No, they _won't!_"

"_I do!_ I know Arizona does! And your friends do! This isn't something that you need to hide from yourself. It is perfectly okay. And whatever happens... I'll protect you."

A brief pause. Oregon did not respond.

"Oregon. Are you gay or not?"

"I - _no_ - I mean - _kind of_ - just... it's... Washington, it's complicated, okay? You're - you're _happy_ to be honest about yourself. I get it. You already came out when you were a Sophomore. But... this is a big _deal_, Washington... I don't know if I can..."

Washington was less than a foot from Oregon now, and put a hand on his shoulder. "We all have to confront our identities no matter what, Oregon," he murmured. "You can either try to run from it... or concede to it. And aren't you tired of running?"

A split second, and then-

The two kissed, pressing against the wall, locking lips passionately in one of the most shocking moments in national televised history. Oregon gasped slightly, and the two fell onto the bed, revealing Arizona standing in the open doorway with an absolutely stunned, transfixed expression as to what she was witnessing. The two didn't notice her.

And then, slowly, quietly, she stepped out, and softly closed the door on the two.

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, and Tennessee.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Curcle, weeaboopunk, Winkie4, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - My Youtube channel is still totally a thing! Check it out via my profile, maybe? Also, it'd be super awesome to get some of your reactions to these chapters (and especially this one) through reviews! Do you like it? Does it bother you? Don't worry, the fic is still staying completely clean of sexual anything apart from a reference or two. Maybe I'll write a separate spin-off that goes more into depth on their encounter. Who knows?

Anyways. Read, review, favorite, and follow! The two R's and the two F's. Keep 'em in mind!


	29. The Second Civil War

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - **(**New York and Pennsylvania**)**, Connecticut, Maine, and Massachusetts.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team Virginia** - Virginia.

**EPISODE 28: THE SECOND CIVIL WAR**

_"You sabotaged the team." - Massachusetts_

**Sunday, October 5th, 2014. Chicago, Illinois. 4:15 AM.**

Five buses rolled out of Illinois, heading south. The morning sun still hadn't arisen yet. Everybody rested sound asleep. Except for one contestant.

Oregon. Currently, he was lying in bed with Washington, who was sound asleep. Yet... Oregon's thoughts seemed to permeate everything around him.

_I slept with a guy._

_Oh, my god, I slept with a GUY._

_When did my life come to this...?_

Oregon stirred slightly, and nestled his head into a slightly comfier position on the pillow.

_I mean... it was, wow... amazing, but... still._

_I slept with a GUY._

_Well... I always have known I liked guys... for a long, long time... but I never thought I'd actually be with one. Or that I'd admit it. Especially not on TV. Wait - oh, GOD! I slept with a guy ON TV. No, no, no... oh, Jesus, everybody at home knows now. I really hope Chris cuts out that footage. I can't let him publish that! That was private! That was me and Washington! Ugh. Knowing Chris... he's definitely keeping at least something in._

_Okay... so... everybody knows I'm gay. And, wow, not only that, but I'm a bottom, too. Everybody's going to treat me differently now! All of my friends back home... probably won't like me anymore. I mean... sometimes I was teased for being a little girly sometimes, but they never legitimately thought I liked dudes! This is really, really bad... if I could have just... I don't know... run out of the room, then maybe I'd be in a better situation..._

Oregon lifted his head slightly, and glanced at Washington's sleeping form. Washington still had his glasses on. _But... if I did that... I wouldn't be with Washington... and he's just so... I don't know...__  
><em>

_Sophisticated? Not... the best words to describe him... but sort of true..._

_Cute? Yes. And... really nice to talk to... ugh, I sound like some thirteen-year-old girl gushing all over some guy. But it's so true! It's no wonder everyone respects him so much. At least on our team. We're basically the only team that hasn't gone through a rebellion or a split up._

_I... really hope my relationship with him isn't really... awkward at first. I kind of want this to last. I've never had a boyfriend before. Or a girlfriend, for that matter. Does he seriously like me? Why? I'm Oregon. Nobody's ever liked me before. I don't even know why I got selected to be on this show. All I did for my audition was make a two minute video for why I should be accepted. And I just happened to get on the same team with him..._

_I never expected to win this thing. Then again, I never expected to... to have a boyfriend? I'm not even sure what we are. But I know I need to be by his side. He seems to have the game under control._

**Wednesday, October 8th, 2014. Memphis, Tennessee. 9:18 AM.**

The five buses, after about half a week of travel, were nearing their destination of Memphis, Tennessee. Cool October winds drafted through the hills leading up to the city. Along the riverbank, the sleepy Mississippi River slowly meandered its way downstream.

There was still business to settle on the buses, though. The merge was scheduled to happen in less than a few weeks, and contestants were preparing. Some were terrified out of their minds, fearful of being forced to leave some of their teammates and meet completely different people. Others... were a little more excited to finally be getting out of their team for once. Everything depended on how Chris planned on joining everyone together. Would the twenty contestants be merged into one team of finalists, or would it be two teams? Or three? And if so, what would be the deciding factors in which team you got in? Did contestants get to choose?

Unfortunately, all of these questions wouldn't be answered for quite some time. For now, New York was intent on securing a spot past the merge.

As a bright sun shined through the bus windows, New York approached Massachusetts, who just seemed to be watching TV on the couch. Luckily, there was nobody else in the room. Massachusetts glanced at New York and simply gave a small wave.

New York sat next to Massachusetts, looking a little concerned. "Massachusetts?" New York asked. "We've got a problem."

Massachusetts sat up, a little interested. "What is it? Is the microwave broken again-"

"No, of course not," New York disclaimed quickly. "It's... something else. It's Connecticut."

For a moment, Massachusetts simply stared at New York. "What?" he asked. "What'd he do?"

"I think he's conspiring against the team. In the event that we had a voting ceremony, I'm looking to have your supp-"

"No. York? _No_. Tell me what Connecticut did, or I'll think you're lying to me."

Massachusetts stared at New York with a determined glare. New York fidgeted nervously, and stammered, "Well - well, I mean - that's just sort of the - the kind of... feeling... I got from... um, him..."

This didn't fly at all with Massachusetts, who crossed his arms and eyed New York suspiciously. "New York, whatever you're planning," Massachusetts warned, "I don't want a part of it. And I swear, if you think you'll get away with pulling down Connecticut, then-"

"No, Massachusetts, you don't understand. Let me expl-"

"I _mean_ it, York. We're all a _team_. I know you're probably scared right now about what's going to happen to all of us. but _sabotage_ is _not_ the solution."

It took a few seconds for New York to recuperate from that blow. New York took a deep breath, and muttered, "Massachusetts, I know what this must look like, but... really. Just... _please_ trust me. Forget what I said about Connecticut. Just... I just want people to have my back at the end of all this..."

Massachusetts's expression softened slightly at that. "New York, I'm your _friend_," Massachusetts explained. "You don't need an 'official alliance member' to get someone to have your back. We can get through this as a _team_. There's no need for all this cloak-and-dagger nonsense. Alright?"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_120_mp3**

"I don't know _what_ New York is planning. In my opinion... he just seems really scared, though I know he doesn't want to show it. When he wanted to keep New Jersey in the game, he was thinking about the team, but now... he's just thinking about saving his own skin. He sees our team as, like, a sinking ship that he's gotta get off of before we all die. But that's not true! We're all friends on this team, and if we do our best, we shouldn't have to even _worry_ about losing a challenge."

Massachusetts

**9:41 AM.**

The city of Memphis rose all around the twenty-three contestants. As the sun rose, so did the temperature, creating a sort of dewy, muggy atmosphere that wasn't entirely pleasant to walk around in. Still, though, everyone was in a brand new city, and was thus excited to start the day's challenge.

"'Mornin', contestants!" Chris greeted, wearing a light coat and a bright grin. "Welcome to Memphis, Tennessee! I will be your host this lovely day! And no, Blaineley is _not_ here."

Relieved sighs were exchanged for a few moments. Blaineley's intrusion on quite a few of the recent challenges was something that was despised widely by almost everyone. Chris chuckled a little, and asked, "You all remember that Civil War challenge we did? Back in West Virginia?"

Nobody responded, of course, but a few tiny nods went around. It was one of the more memorable challenges. "Well," Chris began, "We're going to be doing it _one more time_. Except _this_ time, it'll be in a very urban setting, instead of a town!"

Nervous anticipation took hold of many of the contestants. Memories of being shot, and then falling unconscious for almost an hour still permeated in most of their minds. Chris stared at everyone seriously, and explained, "Now, this time, yes, we've got permission to do this for an hour over the area of a few blocks. So _remember_. Don't stray too far. I'll be keeping in touch with all of you. Now, for the guns..."

He then kicked open a few chests that were at his feet, revealing large piles of air-soft guns. "Same rules this time around!" Chris shouted. "The pellets have an anesthetic coating, so if you get hit, you'll fall unconscious for an hour or two. Each team has one territory, and can conquer _or_ liberate other territories. If they conquer it and hold onto it until the end of the game, everyone from that team gets to use their cell phones for a day. If they liberate a territory, then they get a day regardless of how many territories they own at the end. At the end of the game, if your team does _not_ own any territories, including your original, you go to the voting ceremony! So _yes_. This has potential to cause multiple eliminations to go down tonight."

Chris smiled again. "You've got ten minutes to get to your territories!" he announced, and tossed out five maps to each of the teams. "Marked on your maps are where you'll be located. Try _not_ to get lost, alright? You'll all hear from me in a few!"

**9:56 AM.**

"_MARCH!_"

The Dakotan Dynasty rapidly made its way to its designated station, which was actually the roof of an apartment building near the river. North Dakota led her troops. South Dakota strode at her side.

"You all remember how everything went down last time!" North Dakota declared. "Keep those tactics in mind, soldiers! But remember, things are going to be a little different this time around! Instead of nine troops, Team 'America' now has only one. All the other teams are cut down, too. And above all that, everyone _else_ will have learned from their previous mistakes. Team Democracy will be on their guard more. Virginia won't be likely to ally with anyone. Washington... will be more cautious. Understood?"

"_Yes, Glorious Leader!_" Oklahoma, Colorado, Kansas, and Nebraska all chanted. South Dakota rolled her eyes as North Dakota smirked, and pointed to the designated building. "Up ahead. Keep a lookout. Right when the challenge begins, we could be instantly ambushed..."

**9:58 AM.**

A slightly weary Team Victory was trudging to their designated location, which was a long-deserted dance club located on a wide avenue. Clearly, the prospect of possibly losing another war-based challenge was not too exciting to most of them. Washington and Oregon were a ways behind the others, and though nobody else could see it, the two were holding hands. Oregon, in particular, appeared vaguely embarrassed and somewhat amused at the same time. For the past three days or so, it was hard to find a moment when the two weren't together. Hawaii had noticed this.

Casting a wayward glance behind him, Hawaii yelled, "Yo! Washington! You comin'?"

Washington suddenly looked up at the sound of his name, and stepped away slightly from Oregon. "Oh! Yeah!" he called. Hawaii's eyebrows raised slightly at the two. He then turned to California and muttered, "Hey, Callie... d'you know what's up with Washington and Or-"

"Oh!" Arizona suddenly cried, interrupting Hawaii. "I - I mean," shes stuttered, when she received stares. "I mean, they're just - just friends. They've always been... friends. Best friends! Whee!"

Hawaii stared suspiciously at Arizona for a couple more seconds, and then rolled his eyes and didn't question any further. They were approaching their destination.

Right as the six entered the empty night club, a deafening cry shouted from far away, magnified electronically, "_This is Chris! The game begins... now! You have one hour!_"

"So..." New Mexico mumbled, after the six simply waited cautiously at the entrance of their base and carrying assault rifles. "What's... the plan, Washington?"

"Ummm..." Washington mused, thinking. "I guess... well, last time, our mistake was attacking too early, and with too few people. So I say we wait it out until a good opportunity to do something."

"Yeah!" Oregon agreed, inspecting his two air-soft pistols. "Hey, Washington, can you help me figure out how to use these...? They're kind of stuck..."

"Sure."

A few moments went by without any noise heard from any of the other territories. What was going on elsewhere...?

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_121_mp3**

"People are probably wondering, so... I might as well address why I'm dating Oregon now. Not that anybody knows, I just thought I should tell the audience. When I first went into these games, I wasn't planning on getting involved with _anybody_. At all. It would just be pure, objective strategy towards my goals. But... I don't know. My priorities have changed, I guess. It's... not as much about winning anymore. It's about... helping Oregon. I see something in him. I can honestly see him getting to the finals if he plays his cards right. Hah. I sound insane right now, probably."

Washington

**10:03 AM.**

"Alright! Here's the game plan, y'all!"

Texas led the five remaining members of Team Touchdown. At his side was Alabama. "We're gonna march on down an' _take Team Democracy!_" Texas cheered. "Last time, we didn't do _nothin'_ until Team Dakota did that. This time, we're gonna have the upper hand."

The five all cheered at that as they moved through the deserted streets of Memphis, Tennessee, to Team Democracy's location, which was located in an abandoned warehouse near the river. Currently, no team had made a move yet, so evidently, Team Touchdown was the only one trying anything.

"Hey," Louisiana suddenly suggested, "why don't we try to take over Team America? Er... Team 'Virginia'? It's only her. It'd be pretty easy."

"Well, 'cause I'm the leader, that's why," Texas reminded her, smiling a little too nicely. "An' cause I say we attack Team Democracy. We already know one of 'em's gay."

"Uh, that's Massachusetts," Georgia suddenly piped up, "and he's bisexual, not g-"

"Shut up," Texas warned. "Good 'nough reason to attack 'em anyways. Where are we?"

The five suddenly stopped, looking around. They stood in an intersection that was completely devoid of any cars going through. Alabama peered around, as his girlfriend clutched his arm, and suddenly pointed off towards the river. "There!" he yelled. "That's a warehouse, ain't it?"

They all stared at what he was pointing at. "I think so!" Texas announced. "Alright! Now we just gotta get the jump on 'em... be real careful, now. I doubt they wanna make some of the same mistakes they did last time..."

Team Touchdown carefully made its way towards the warehouse, raising their guns as they approached. The door opened, and then-

PAP-PAP-PAP-PAP-PAP-

Pennsylvania was shot in the head, but not before squeezing out a few shots from her gun. One of them hit Mississippi in the arm.

"Ow!" she squealed. "I got... _shot!_"_  
><em>

She began to stumble, and then, without so much as a tiny little yelp, she collapsed onto the ground. Alabama was horrified, but Texas dragged him on. "Come on! They still got people in there!" Texas shouted, firing his rifle into the warehouse. Pandemonium ensued.

...

When it was all over, every single contestant from Team Democracy was unconscious and on the floor. From Team Touchdown, both Mississippi and Texas had been struck in the fray. The two were laid down on the floor, leaving only Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia to defend their two entire territories.

"_Team Touchdown has just captured Team Democracy's territory!_" a voice cried from far away. Alabama grimaced at the noise, and muttered, "We'd... better do our best to hold onto these. Georgia... you head on back and guard our original territory. This... isn't gonna be pretty."

**10:16 AM.**

_Okay. So. The southerners, for some reason, have decided to avoid taking me out. Weird. But okay. Maybe they still remember our alliance back in this challenge like... like twenty episodes ago. Wow. That's loyalty right there._

Virginia darted about the rooftops, keeping an eye on the park she was supposed to be guarding. She simply had a sniper rifle in hand, and was prepared to take out any team foolish enough to come close to it.

_This is a good spot. It's just a matter of time before a team decides to come my way, and I doubt they're going to be too friendly about it..._

A sudden flurry of movement caught her eye. She squinted down below, and took aim.

Five figures were rapidly making their way across the park furtively, all glancing around rapidly and taking position. Virginia cursed under her breath, and lined up her shot.

PAP. Kansas fell. "She's here!" North Dakota screamed, stepping back and looking all around. "She's here - _take cover!_"

More shots were fired from high up above. Oklahoma took cover behind a car and took a few blind shots towards the rooftops, yet didn't anything. After almost half a minute had passed, in which Virginia terrorized them all with more warning shots, North Dakota cried, "Fall back! _Fall back!_ We're heading back, everyone!"

And just like that, Team Dakota quickly retreated away from the park, leaving only Virginia on the roof with a smug little grin. "Yeah... keep on runnin'..." she muttered to herself.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_122_mp3**

"Damn it. I knew I never should'a trusted her... sweet talkin' her way to get me to like her like that. No, North Dakota, I _don't_ think I'm gonna be wantin' to join your team anytime soon anymore."

Virginia

**10:20 AM.**

"That sneaky-ass _bitch_..." North Dakota growled as her team sped away from Virginia's territory. South Dakota glanced at her sister warily, and mumbled, "Um, sis... language..."

"This is a reality show. I'm sure the producers will just _love_ a little extra bad-mouthiness," North Dakota stated, not really seeming to care. "Whatever. She took out Kansas. He's _always_ the first to fall..."

"I'm sure he tried his best..." Nebraska reminded, but was cut off with a glare from North Dakota. "I didn't _ask_ you to _speak_, Nebraska," North Dakota snapped. "We need a plan. Something. Obviously, Team Virginia isn't the best place to raid right now..."_  
><em>

"Didn't Team Touchdown take out Team Democracy a while ago?" Oklahoma wondered. North Dakota glanced curiously at Oklahoma, and responded, "...yes. They did. What about it?"

"Well..." Oklahoma began, looking over North Dakota cautiously, "maybe... we could take one of the territories Team Touchdown has right now. Their team only has, like, five people... spread over two territories... it'd be worth a shot, at least..."

North Dakota considered Oklahoma's proposition. "Okay," North Dakota eventually decided, nodding. "Okay, Oklahoma. But if this screws up, then it's on you."

"Of course, Glorious Leader."

The five carefully made their way towards the territory Team Touchdown had captured, which seemed to be an abandoned warehouse near the river. It wasn't too far away from Team Dakota's base, so an easy retreat could be employed if necessary. As a pale white sun rose higher and higher into the sky, they all crept closer to the front entrance, around which several unconscious bodies were scattered, ominously enough. South Dakota peeked inside.

Alabama was sitting on a box, mindlessly running his hand over his assault rifle. The only other person in the room was Georgia, who seemed to be inspecting the walls.

South Dakota withdrew her head, and turned to her four awaiting teammates. "Well?" North Dakota questioned. "Who's in there?"

"It's just the ginger country dude and some girl," South Dakota explained, glancing around nervously. "I think the girl's his girlfriend, but I'm not sure-"

"Ohhh, _yes_," North Dakota murmured, interrupting her sister. "They've only got two people guarding it. Excellent. Now's our chance. I'll take out - take out _Alabama_, was his name. You all blast on the other one. Come on, let's do this before another team decides to invade here."

With a swift move, North Dakota whirled around the door, and fired three rounds from her rifle right at Alabama. Each one rapped him in the head, and he fell. Georgia screamed and started running.

"_Shoot her!_" North Dakota screamed. Nebraska started running to catch her, but tripped over Connecticut's unconscious form. It was only with the swift accuracy of a blast from Colorado that took Georgia down.

A loud voice suddenly boomed, "_Team Dakota has captured Team Democracy's original territory from Team Touchdown! Team Dakota, please raise your hands if you would like to liberate this territory!_"

Of course, nobody raised their hands, and a few moments later, Chris's voice cried, "_Team Dakota has captured Team Democracy's territory! They now control two total territories!__ Just in time, too, because it is now half-way into the game!_"

Everyone in Team Dakota but Nebraska cheered for their victory. South Dakota noticed him still lying on the ground where he'd tripped. "Hey!" she yelled. "Nebraska, come on, get up."

He mumbled something incomprehensible as his head thudded onto the ground. North Dakota walked up and swiftly kicked him in the stomach, to which he did not react. "What the hell's his deal?" she asked. "He didn't get shot."

South Dakota crouched down to inspect his body as everyone looked on. "Hmm..." she murmured to herself. "It... it looks like he landed on a pellet... right here..."

True to her word, imprinted into Nebraska's cheek was the shape of a pellet. The anesthetic coating must have seeped into his skin, regardless of the fact that he didn't get shot. "Oh, damn..." North Dakota muttered. "Okay, everyone, _don't touch the pellets_ with your bare hands. Got it?"

**10:41**

"I'm telling you guys, North Dakota's gonna win if we all just sit around here doing nothing," Hawaii warned his team as they all sat at a booth in the night club. Currently, most of the players still "alive" in the game were either from Team Dakota of Team Victory. In any case, it seemed all too likely that the "unstoppable force of Team Dakota" would come marching their way any minute.

Washington seemed to be mulling over the problem for a while. "Yeah..." he murmured, sitting closely beside Oregon on the cushioned seat. "It's a problem. We could try to attack. I feel certain we're the team with the most people still alive..."

"I think we should attack!" New Mexico announced, sunglasses reflecting the multicolored lights in the club. "It's not like they won't keep attacking everyone else! And even if we lose... we'll be heroes for standing up to North Dakota."

Arizona smiled brightly, impressed at her boyfriend's determination on the matter. "I have to agree," she added. "North Dakota is... psychotic, from what I hear. Or something. We need to do something, and we're the best team for the job, I think."

Washington sighed a little defeatedly. "Yeah. Okay," he acknowledged. "Okay, fine. But if we're gonna do this, then we need to move out _now_. Is this alright with everyone?"

He received a number of determined little nods. Washington returned one, and then stood from the booth, declaring, "Then we move out. Come on, everyone. And don't underestimate her. She's a _lot_ smarter than you'd think."

The six headed out of the night club and into the surprisingly bright sun of Memphis. As the day currently stood, Team Democracy alone would be going to the voting ceremony, but that had the possibility of changing soon.

A siren wailed far in the distance as they all neared Team Democracy's warehouse, rifles at the ready. Oklahoma stood outside the front door, eyes peeled for any trouble. However, with a flick of his wrist, Washington prompted Arizona to take her out with a single shot from her sniper rifle, expelling the pellet that would hit her straight in the head.

CRACK. Oklahoma fell. "Go, go, go!" Hawaii whispered, and the six ran forward towards the warehouse. Instantly, two figures rushed out of the warehouse, guns raised, ready to fire-

PAP-PAP. With just two shots, California was taken out. Hawaii yelped, horrified, right up until pellets whizzed over his head. "Get _down!_" Washington yelled, firing shots wildly towards the two figures. More pellets came flying. New Mexico took a calculated aim and shot at one of the figures; Colorado went down. The other figure went running back inside.

"_Forward!_" Washington cried, leading his four other remaining teammates. They rushed ahead, sprinting towards the warehouse with all their might, and burst into the doors. They were shocked to find North Dakota standing in the middle of the warehouse, hands in the air with nothing else to defend herself with.

"Okay! You _got_ me!" she yelled. "I surrender."

Oregon began lowering his gun, but Washington yelled, "Keep your weapons up. Don't trust her."

"Ohhh, _Washington_," North Dakota sighed. "You fail to recognize that I am completely helpless right now! You may as well accept my surrender. Come on. We're friends, Washington!"

Washington seemed a little taken aback at this. "Is that so?" he asked. "Because I remember a time just a few months ago when we surrendered to _you_, North Dakota. And... hmm... back _then_, I remember getting shot _immediately after_. New Mexico, Hawaii, does that ring a bell with you two?"

New Mexico and Hawaii both remembered the incident quite clearly. North Dakota stepped back a bit, and defensively said, "Well, okay, but that was _necessary_, Washington. Surely _you_ know how it is."

Washington didn't answer her. Her gaze drifted from him to the guy standing next to her. Oregon. "Oh," she remarked casually. "It looks like you have a boyfriend."

Oregon gasped. There was a silence that probably lasted for longer than it should have. Washington finally replied, "My advice for you, North Dakota, is to watch your step."

Another brief silence.

"Shoot her."

At that, a sudden shower of gunfire rained upon them all. Hawaii fell. Washington fell. New Mexico fell. A flurry of movement, concentration, and then-

PAP. North Dakota was shot in the head by Arizona. Up above, gunfire continued to spray; someone was attacking.

"_Fuck!_" Arizona cried, ducking down. The only other person from Team Victory who _wasn't_ shot unconscious was Oregon, who cowered behind a box without a weapon. "Oregon! _Run!_" Arizona screamed, and he obeyed. Arizona then ducked out of cover, and took aim, and shot at their assailant.

Colorado fell, gun clanging down beside him. He had been standing on a metal catwalk high above, near the roof of the warehouse. With that, Arizona stood victorious. She'd defeated Team Dakota. As far as she knew, anyway.

POP. Arizona was then shot in the side of the head. She squeaked, and fell onto the ground without another word. Louisiana nervously looked over her body, and verified that she'd actually made the shot.

"_Team Touchdown has captured Team Democracy's original territory back from Team Dakota!_" a voice cried. "_Team Touchdown, please raise your hand if you would like to liberate this territory!_"

A pause. And then, Louisiana raised her hand.

"_Well, too bad, Team Touchdown, because we're all out of time. Interns! Administer the wake-up drug to everyone!_"

And thus ended the most confusing challenge in the show so far.

...

In the end, South Dakota was actually still alive on Team Dakota. She just happened to be running away from everything. Oregon was sprinting away from the warehouse, so that meant Team Victory was still in the game. Virginia had simply camped on top of a building with a sniper rifle, and secured her continued place in the game. At the very end, Louisiana tried to release Team Democracy from the clutches of domination, but it was too late. Team Democracy would, in fact, be the team going home that night.

**2:44 PM.**

"What... _happened?_"

Massachusetts awoke on Team Democracy's couch. Their bus sped away from Memphis, Tennessee, and towards a more secluded location for the voting ceremony.

"Well. We _lost_," New York seethed. "We got taken over by Team Dakota. Then Team Victory tried to take us. And then Team Touchdown tried to take us. Long story short, we're the _only_ team that lost its territory."_  
><em>

Massachusetts groaned, and fell onto his back, landing on the couch cushions. "This sucks..." Massachusetts muttered. New York nodded in agreement. "It does. And it's all thanks to _one person_."

At that, Massachusetts sat up, curious. "Who?" he asked.

"Connecticut. I saw him shoot Maine _right in front of me._ It was right when, um, we were all getting shot in the warehouse."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_123_mp3**

"Okay. I... I told a lie, so what? It was _necessary_. Connecticut... just happens to be collateral damage. It's all for the greater good. I mean who do you think has a better chance of winning, me, or Connecticut? Now, I'm _not_ a bad guy, everyone. I'm really not. But I have to stay in the game! This money means a _lot_ to me, and if I have to push Connecticut out of the way, then that's just something I'll have to cope with. I'm... sorry, dude."

New York

**2:46 PM.**

Massachusetts blinked in response. "_What?_" he asked. "_Connecticut_ did - I - _really?_"

New York nodded solemnly. "But _why?_" Massachusetts asked. "That doesn't make any sense! Why would he do that?"

Massachusetts only received a sad shrug. "Who knows?" New York asked. "I think he might dislike her for... something she must have done. Either way, he's going against the team."

Massachusetts was still speechless for a few moments. "I can't believe it..." Massachusetts murmured. "_Really?_ Hold on, I'm gonna go talk to him-"_  
><em>

His arm was grabbed by New York. "_No!_" New York insisted. "_Stay_. He'll just tell you lies. Just... _trust_ me on this, Massachusetts. Alright?"

A slight hesitation. Massachusetts nodded his head. "Alright..." he responded. "Okay. I trust you on this, New York."

**6:59 PM.**

Nightfall. Team Democracy's bus was parked in a wide field. A full moon dominated the sky, shining its bright blue light over all. A chilly wind swept through the grasses, and eventually coming to meet Chris, who stood before a gathering of five contestants.

"Hello, Team Democracy!" Chris greeted, grinning bemusedly. "It's fun to see you kids here again. I'm predicting a _lot_ of drama to go down with this team soon."

Cautious glances swept around the area. The unmistakable feeling of tension seemed to permeate into the air. The team was starting to break down. Chris frowned a little at the lack of a reaction, and simply said, "When I call your name, you get a snack! All kinds of stuff today. If you don't get a snack, then you board that waiting taxi over there and ride to the nearest airport to take you home. Capiche?"

Nobody responded. Chris sighed. "Y'know, it's hard to be a host when you kids won't answer me sometimes," he lamented. "It's hard and nobody understands. Maine! No votes."

She caught a bag of gummy worms thrown her way, and sighed in relief. Chris eyed the others, and then yelled, "Massachusetts! You too. No votes. You get a 'Moon Pie'. Whatever that is."

A small packaged chocolate marshmallow cake was thrown at Massachusetts, who took it without question. Another snack was thrown towards Pennsylvania, who received no votes, according to Chris. Which left everything down to New York and Connecticut. The two eyed each other with suspicion.

"One of you is a... uh... _fan favorite_ of a certain annoying stalker!" Chris yelled. "Who will not cease phoning the show on why she can't be allowed in for another season. Even though we keep _telling her_ to _stay away_. The other is seen by some as the leader of Team Democracy! Oh, wait, he's not your leader, he's your _friend_. Right, riiight..."

Chris stared at New York for a few seconds. "The final snack, which looks like just a bag of popcorn an intern made, goes too..." Chris declared.

...

...

...

"...New York. Two votes."

Connecticut stared. "Wait, _what?_" he yelled. "I got _voted off?_ For what?"

Massachusetts sighed. "You sabotaged the team," he stated simply. "You shot Maine. That goes against Team Democracy. I'm... I'm sorry, Conn-"

"I _what?_" Connecticut cried. "Massachusetts! You _know me!_ Why would I do that? Massachusetts, who told you?"

Massachusetts hesitated for a brief moment as Chris directed the camera crews to record as much of the drama as possible. "I... uh..." Massachusetts stammered. "You... didn't? Well, um... New York, you told me that you saw him shoot Maine-"

"Hold on," Maine interrupted, as Connecticut was shooed towards the bus by Chris to go get his stuff. "Connecticut didn't shoot me. I specifically remember being shot by Georgia."

Everyone turned on New York at that. "Hey... guys, I can explain," New York began. Massachusetts's eyes went wide as he realized what'd happened. "You... you _lied!_" Massachusetts cried. "_York!_ You _fucking lied to me!_"

"Massachusetts, calm down-"

"Please, both of you," Pennsylvania whispered, "stop fighting... New York isn't that bad..."

"We have _proof_ that New York _just lied!_" Massachusetts screamed, pointing at Maine as Connecticut somberly collected his things from the bus. "Why would you _trust him, _Penn? It should be New York that's going home tonight! Chris, _please_ let us vote again-"

"No can do, bud!"

"Agh!" Massachusetts groaned. "New York, you are _dead_ to me."

That was a little extreme. "Um, hold on, really, New York didn't mean it," Pennsylvania insisted, though she seemed to be convincing herself more than Massachusetts. "Oh, no," Maine said. "I'm with Massachusetts on this one. New York, you _lied_. And now, Connecticut's going home because of it."

"You all would have voted for me!" New York suddenly burst out. "Admit it! If - if Connecticut - without him, you all would have voted for me!"

"That's not necessarily true!" Massachusetts yelled in return. "You were just being _paranoid, _New York! I know you're scared, but this is _no way to deal with fear!_"

Connecticut stood, ready to leave, bag in hand. "Um," he simply stated. "Why are you guys arguing?"

Everyone turned to look at him. A brief moment, and then Massachusetts ran to give him a huge hug. "Damn it, Connecticut..." Massachusetts muttered. "You don't deserve to be going home."

"Yeah, heh, well... democracy says so... hey, that's the name of our team, so it's fitting, right?"

Massachusetts gave a weak chuckle and a wave. "See you, man," Massachusetts mumbled. "You were a good friend."

Connecticut gave a friendly wave as he departed for the taxi. "Bye, guys!" he yelled, unaware that New York had been the reason he was going home. "I'll be rooting for you all back home!"

His footsteps eventually receded into the distance, off towards the taxi. Massachusetts was fuming as he glared at New York. "Now, Massachusetts," New York began, "I really think we can talk this out. There's no need for any kind of... of separation or anything like that." Pennsylvania nodded furiously at that, though she seemed to just want the fighting to stop. Massachusetts waited a moment, and then said, "Okay, New York. You want alliances? You'll _get_ alliances. Maine. Are you with me?"

A brief hesitation, and then she nodded her head firmly. "Yes," she confirmed. "What happened to Connecticut was _not_ fair."

"Good. And... Pennsylvania?"

Pennsylvania was torn between staying with New York and joining Massachusetts and Maine. "I mean," she began, "guys, we really don't need _alliances!_ We're a team of _friends!_ That's how it's always been!"

Massachusetts watched her for a moment longer, and then muttered, "Guess that's a no, then. Alright. Then... I guess that's that.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_124_mp3**

"I cannot _believe_ New York. He actually _did_ that to our team. He _lied to my face_. And just this morning, I considered New York to be one of my best friends on the show. I _get_ that he's scared, and that he just wants protection, but _friends don't vote off other friends_. We could've gotten through this."

Massachusetts

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, and Connecticut.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **BlueIce RedFire, weeaboopunk, Winkie4, Knifez, TheWriterGirl09271998, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator -** Awww! Not Connecticut! Yeah, yeah, I know. And just like that, Team Democracy is split in half. Wonder what's in store next?

Next episode is the end of Act 2. Is it a big one? Perhaps. Just note that with Connecticut's elimination, there are now exactly twenty-two contestants remaining, which is the exact amount of contestants in Total Drama Island, excluding Mr. Coconut.

News, news, news, what's new... hm. I took up knitting recently. I guess that's news. I made a bracelet by using the Garter stitch! Aren't I so cool?!

Anyways. Guess that's it for today. Thanks for reviewing! I am absolutely _loving_ writing for this story, especially since I can _finally_ go into depth on these characters a bit more, because there's fewer. Hooray for development! Let me know what you think about the story so far via review, PM, a favorite or a follow. It all goes a _long, long_ way. And it helps me develop as a writer! Sort of. Maybe. I'm not sure how it does, but it might, and that's good enough for me.


	30. Five Teams Will Become Two

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Touchdown** - Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas.

**Team Democracy** - **(**New York and Pennsylvania**) **and **(**Maine and Massachusetts**)**.

**Team Victory** - Arizona, California, Hawaii, New Mexico, Oregon, and Washington.

**Team Dakota** - Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

**Team Virginia** - Virginia.

**EPISODE 29: FIVE TEAMS WILL BECOME TWO**

_"I don't know, I think pink's an okay color." - Oregon_

**Sunday, October 12th, 2014. Hartford, Connecticut. 7:45 AM.**

A chilling cold front swept over the eastern United States in mid-October, forcing many to don their winter clothes a little early for 2014. Though the threat of snow was far, far away, ice-cold rain would pound the north-east. It certainly wasn't the pleasant warm breezes of July, that was for sure.

Rain slicked down over the front windshields of Team Democracy's bus, which paved the way north towards Connecticut. Every few minutes, thunder would clap in the distance, startling the bus's occupants. Chris had been determined to get the contestants all the way up to Connecticut by Sunday like usual, so the buses were forced to drive extra speedily under the rainy conditions. So... tensions were _much_ higher than usual. Especially in Team Democracy's bus.

Ever since Massachusetts's outburst towards New York since Connecticut was voted off, people were refusing to speak to each other. The atmosphere was not unlike that of Team America's, back when it was Illinois and Indiana versus Maryland and Virginia.

So, when New York walked into the main room, in which Massachusetts and Maine were watching the news on the couch, he saw them immediately stand up and make to leave. "Hey!" he yelled, tugging on Massachusetts's sleeve as he stepped out. "It's just me. New York."

"I know."

Massachusetts didn't stop, and simply walked off towards the bunk rooms. For the past few nights, he'd been sleeping in a completely different room separate from New York's.

Maine stayed behind for just a moment, though. She stared at New York with a sad expression. "I... hate that it has to be this way, York," she quietly muttered. "But... you've gone against the team. That's not okay. You lied about Connecticut _shooting_ me. So... until you can prove that you can be trusted, York... then I'm sorry, but we're going to stay away from you."

New York tried to respond, but Maine stepped off towards her bunk room, which she shared with Pennsylvania. New York was left standing in the middle of the bus's hallway, staring defeatedly at where Maine had disappeared.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_125_mp3**

"That's it. It's... it's over. I've completely _fucked up_ my teammates' trust in me. I'm - I'm _sorry_, okay? What more do they want? Connecticut, if you're watching, know that I'm _so sorry_. I don't know what I was thinking. But now everyone won't talk to me except for Pennsylvania! And even _she_ thinks I've gone over the deep end. I just... I just don't know what to do. Nobody likes me anymore. I've completely - completely _screwed_ up my team. I've gotta either... make this right, or... get rid of my opposition."

New York

**8:29 AM.**

Torrential rain splattered down on the roof of Team Dakota's bus as it crossed the state line into Connecticut. North Dakota stood before her team with a somewhat distant expression. She had her arms folded. South Dakota stood beside her with a slightly worried expression.

"Everyone..." North Dakota began, after pausing to fix her long black hair. "This... is the last challenge we as a team will face. It's well-known by now that the merge is next week. Now... my instinct tells me we'll be able to select our teammates, but if we're all separated, then..."

She cleared her throat a little, and faked a melancholy expression. "Then... it's been fun," she continued. "It's been a long ride. And... I _know_ I haven't _always_ been the, um... _nicest_ person to you all. And in the beginning, you were all an ungrateful bunch of lazy, whining maggots who all would have lost more than Team _America_, for christ's sake, if not for me. But... you've all really shaped up. And I thank you for that."

Everyone simply stared at her. It was a little... out of character, you could say, for North Dakota to get sentimental all of a sudden.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_126_mp3**

"_This_ is how you win the game. Everyone's going to be grouped together into one team at this merge, and _I_ gotta make sure this bunch of idiots are on my side. So, yes, that _does_ mean getting _sentimental_ or whatever to get them to remember all of the clearly fabricated 'fun times' we've had. There will be no 'multiple teams' after the merge. It'll be every man for himself. And _I_ plan on building a healthy army, one larger than I had before. Again, _t__his_ is how you win the game."_  
><em>

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_127_mp3**

"You know, I think I actually really respect North Dakota! I had no idea she was so nice. And she's such a great leader. I mean, _yeah_, I _guess_ there have been times where she's been... kind of abusive... but she's not all bad! Not... all bad. If I'm not on her team after the merge, then I'm going to miss her."

Oklahoma

**10:40 AM.**

"A little history lesson today, kids!" Chris announced abruptly as the twenty-two contestants climbed out of the buses, a light sprinkling of rain still drizzling down. "This is Connecticut! In 1636, Thomas Hooker led a band of Puritans to settle a region to the south of Massachusetts! When they got there, they wrote the Fundamental Orders of Connecticut in 1639, which largely played a big role in the beginnings of American self-government, later... being a big factor in... uh."

It was obvious that nobody was listening to him at all. Chris folded his arms, annoyed, and yelled, "Hey! The producers want me to give you all a little history lesson before we begin today's challenge! _They_ are concerned that you kids aren't getting enough education - y'know, 'cause _all_ of you are missing like an _entire semester of school_."

Nobody cared. Chris sighed, and gestured around him. "Well... welcome to Hartford!" he articulated. "Today's challenge is gonna be held here. Tell me, has anyone else noticed that there are now exactly _twenty-two_ contestants remaining?"

A brief silence, and then heads were shaken. Chris smirked, and yelled, "Well, about seven years ago, _that's_ the exact number of contestants that competed in the first season of Total Drama! You know, the season that _made my name_..."

For a second, Chris reminisced on some good memories. "You all were just kids back then!" he suddenly said. "But enough on that. Funnily enough, the very first challenge on that show featured its contestants jumping off a cliff! And so..."

Chris then pointed at a huge structure in the distance. From far away, it appeared to be a giant, grassy-topped steep cliff, but on closer inspection, it looked to be made of plywood. "We've made a fake cliff!" Chris announced somewhat unnecessarily. "In fact, if you look closely, _some_ of you may recognize it to be the exact same cliff used from my second teen reality show, Total Drama Action! Yes, we here at CampTV like to recycle. Also this is because we couldn't find any cliffs in Connecticut. At all."

With no prior warning, California leaned towards Washington and whispered, "So you two are really dating, huh?"

Washington jerked around and stared at California. "What?" was his initial reply. "Oh - I - uh... dating who?"

"Oregon. North Dakota said so. Remember?"

"Um..." Washington murmured as Chris droned on and on about his previous seasons. "We... I mean - no, Callie. We're, um... not. North Dakota was just, uh... teasing. Or, rather, she was trying to sow doubt in all of your minds. Or something."

"Oh," she responded, looking a little skeptical. "Well, doesn't matter, 'cause I wanna know your opinion on something."

"Lay it on me."

"Does Hawaii like me?"

Washington stared, mouth slightly open. "Um. Why?" he asked. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong if he does, but... we're kind of about to go through a big merge here."

"Well..." California began, "it's just... I kind of feel like the two of us have been dancing around... certain things. And he's really nice, and tan-"

"He's a native pacific islander, that's just his skin color," Washington pointed out, but was cut off by California plowing on, "and... and _smart_, sometimes... and I just wanted to know if he's told you anything in particular."

"Um, well..." Washington began, hesitating. "I, uh... sort of. He kind of... mentioned it..."

"He did?"

"A long time ago," Washington reiterated. "Like, back in the very first few episodes. He asked me what would happen if he asked you out, and I provided him an honest answer. But other than that, no, he hasn't mentioned it again."

"Oh," she replied, looking a little crestfallen. When she didn't say anything further, Washington said, "Look, Callie, don't worry about it, alright? I'm sure a _lot_ of guys would _love_ to go on a date with you-"_  
><em>

"Like you?" she asked, giving him a little eyebrow-waggle. Washington backed away just slightly, and stammered, "I - well - no, but-"

"It's okay," California cut in, winking. "I know you're gay. I can keep a secret."

Washington's eyes grew wide. "California, it's not like that," he insisted. "We're - we're just - agh, California, _please_ don't tell. How do you _know_ these things?"

"I have an excellent gaydar. I'm from Los Angeles, after all," she informed him with a cheeky smile.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_128_mp3**

"Look, don't get me wrong, it would be _awesome_ if California and Hawaii got together. I saw this coming a _long_ ways down the road. And in any other situation, I'd tell 'em both to go for it. But we're sort of on a _really_ important reality show with a _really_ big prize, and it wouldn't be the most useful thing to happen right now. And a six person team with _three_ couples is _not_ a good idea. Trust me. We've already got New Mexico and Arizona, not even mentioning Oregon and I. Also, _how_ did she know I'm gay? Nobody's supposed to know _I'm_ gay. Now it just makes me wonder who else knows."

Washington

**10:46 AM.**

"In today's challenge, you will all be climbing that cliff!" Chris continued, unaware of any conversations taking place between contestants. "Once at the top, each member of each team must jump! If you _don't_, you get to wear a chicken hat for the rest of the challenge!"

At that, Chris withdrew a rubber chicken hat and showed them all, an amused grin playing upon his lips. "The team with the highest rate of jumpers gets a special bonus for the next part of the challenge!" he continued. "Yes, back in the day, we had _multiple parts_ to challenges. It was pretty hectic planning them out like that. Also, speaking of planning..."

Chris then put on a serious expression, and addressed all the contestants. "As most of you have figured out, this is the last challenge you will all be facing as a team!" he announced. "On Wednesday, Blaineley will host the second Aftermath, and one final person will be voted off. And _next_ weekend, we will merge the teams together. But how, you may be asking yourself. Well... _five_ teams will become _two_."

Those vaguely cryptic words echoed around. "That's all I'm saying!" Chris declared. "You'll all find out what'll happen when it does. Anyways! Back to the challenge explanation... after the jumping, you will all be tasked with building a _hot tub_ as fast as possible! First team to complete theirs gets to keep it! Last team to complete theirs goes to the voting ceremony."

That was a shock. A few contestants whooped at the sound of getting their own hot tub. Chris smirked a little, and reiterated, "Oh, yeah, forgot. Since we're all driving around on buses, you _won't_ actually get to keep it. Sorry about that."

The celebration ended. Chris clapped his hands together excitedly and asked, "So! Who's ready to climb a mountain?"

**11:13 AM.**

The twenty-two contestants, plus Chris and Chef, climbed a steep, fake-grassy surface that rose above the city of Hartford. The higher they rose, the more chilling the winds that swept past them, especially due to the fact that they were only wearing their bathing suits. It was much more difficult than anticipated, and the bellowing, creaking sounds of the structure wasn't helping anything.

"Need a hand?" Alabama asked his girlfriend, Mississippi, as she slowly began to fall behind the others. "Yeah..." she muttered, and grabbed his hand. "It's just... so _cold_ up here..."

"Wait until it gets to be actually winter!" Chris yelled over the wind with an amused smile. "This is just fall. I assume _some_ of you've never seen snow before!" He then looked pointedly at New Mexico and Arizona, who were huddled together against the cold air.

Alabama grimaced at Chris a little, and leaned towards Mississippi. "Hey... did you hear what he said a little earlier?" he muttered. "About how our 'five teams are gonna become two' or somethin' like that."

Mississippi nodded a little reluctantly. "Bama, don't _worry_ 'bout it," she comforted. "We're probably gonna be together after the merge. It'll be _okay_."

This didn't convince Alabama. "Yeah, but what if we ain't?" he asked in a hushed tone. "I mean, think 'bout it, Miss'ssippi. If we can't pick our teams, then he might - he might separate us!"

"He wouldn't!" Mississippi insisted, a look of dawning horror on her face. Alabama stared off into the distance and mused, "I really think he might. Just - just... I just want to know that I'm - I'm still _here_ for you, Miss'ssippi. I always will be. You'll make new friends, sure, but... I'm here for you."

Tears began to collect in Mississippi's eyes, and she was about to say something, right when she was nearly knocked over by an irate girl.

"_Hey!_" the girl screamed at Chris. It wasn't a girl any of them had seen before... but a few members of Team Democracy recognized her, interestingly enough. "_Chris!_ What the _hell?_ You allowed Connecticut to be voted off?"

"Oh, my god..." Chris whispered, staring at the girl. "_Sierra_. I told you to _stay away from us_. I have a _restraining order against you_. Hold on, I'm calling the-"_  
><em>

Sierra rolled her eyes, and stared around at everybody. She was actually quite a bit older than everybody else. "Well. At least Massachusetts is here," she sighed. "But Chris! You stopped the greatest pairing ever from happening! Massachusetts, who is _confirmed to be gay_-"

"Uh, hi, actually I'm bisexual-"

"_confirmed to be gay_," Sierra insisted, glaring at Massachusetts, "was supposed to get together with Connecticut! It was supposed to happen right from the start! It's my OTP!"

"I - what?" Chris exclaimed, utterly confused now. "Sierra, how did you even _get_ here in the first place? How'd you know we'd be here?"

Again, she rolled her eyes at Chris's dumbfoundedness. "Uh, _duh,_ Chris," she said, gesturing vaguely at the air around them. "I _flew_. I booked a flight from Toronto to Hartford. It was surprisingly inexpensive, actually-"

"How'd you _know_ we'd be in Hartford? At this _exact location?_"

She started giggling at that. "Chris! Look at what we're standing on!" she told him. "It's the cliff from the first show! Duhhh. Wawanakwa Island. I mean, obviously it's the prop used from the set of Total Drama Action, just shipped here piece by piece and then put back together! I noticed, Chris. That's why I'm here."

Chris let out a looong sigh. "Sierra. I'm trying to do a challenge," he informed her. "I need you to _go away_. I was _hoping_ we'd be able to get through an entire act without you invading the show, but I guess that's not happening. Now scram. Go... write more creepy fanfiction."

A disappointed Sierra stood for just a moment longer, looked solemnly at the five remaining teams, and stomped away.

**11:21 AM.**

It was almost noon by the time everyone got to the top of the cliff. A weak morning sun peeked out from behind hazy gray clouds. All around, the land known as Connecticut expanded towards the horizon. It was a bleak reality.

At the bottom of the cliff, a large swimming pool had been set up. It didn't look to be deeper than ten feet. "Uh... Chris?" Virginia asked, peeking down below at the pool. "Is this challenge... _safe?_"

Chris shrugged. "It worked seven years ago!" he informed them. "So it should work now, theoretically!"

"Uh-huh..." Virginia muttered, stepping away from the edge and nervously adjusting her one-piece bathing suit. "So who's going first?"

"Well! I'm glad you asked, Virginia!" Chris said with an amused grin. "Because this morning, I told myself that the first person to ask that question would be the first to jump! Again, so glad you asked, Virginia."

And just like that, contestants started inching away from Virginia, who would be faced with jumping the the cliff first. "Oh, ahhh, okay..." she breathed, looking like she was about to throw up. "And... if I don't...?"

Chris produced a rubber chicken hat from behind him once more. "You'll have to wear this, and you won't get the bonus for the next part of the challenge!" he told her. She nodded. "Okay, got it..." Virginia whispered. "I... guess... here goes..."

Virginia took a step back to get a feel for her speed. Everyone watched her in nervous apprehension, convinced that Virginia was quite literally about to die. She exhaled, started running, and leaped over the edge, disappearing from view within seconds.

Everyone craned their necks over the edge to watch her fall. A long, drawn-out cry came from her, lasting several seconds, ending with the sound of a huge _splash_ at the bottom. Seconds later, Virginia poked her head above the water, and waved at everyone watching her. And despite the fact that Virginia wasn't on their team, cheers erupted. The challenge was proven to be safe._  
><em>

"Virginia has made the jump!" Chris announced. "That means the entirety of Team Virginia jumped, technically! Next up is Team... Victory! Time to jump!"

The celebration ended as quickly as it began. Chris stared at the six members of Team Victory expectantly. "Well?" he asked. "Which one of you wants to go first?"

Nobody answered him. Only half a minute later, New Mexico defeatedly muttered, "I'll go," and readied himself for the jump.

...

His scream of terror could be heard from miles, ending with a _splash_ from the pool. He'd actually made the jump.

"Ummm, I don't think I can do that..." California whined, gazing down at the tiny pool below. "My hair might get messed up. I think I'm gonna pass."

Oregon gulped. "Me too..." he said in a quiet voice. "It's too high. I - I really have a big, _big_ fear of water... ever since I was four..." At that, Washington nodded vigorously after a short glance at his boyfriend, stating, "It's true. He told me a... a while back."

"I don't care!" Chris decided, giving Oregon and California both a rubber chicken hat. "You could be scared of water because of _bubbles_, for all I care. If you don't jump, _you don't jump_. Simple as that. Hawaii, Washington, and Arizona! Let's see you three jump, since you're all so brave."

Though it took a little coaxing, the three of them eventually _did_ jump, screams echoing all over the city. Oregon and California, however, were both forced to ride the escalator of shame down to ground level, as if wearing the chicken hat wasn't enough. When all that was said and done with, Chris checked his chart once more and declared, "Next up is... Team Touchdown! Who's gonna jump, and who's gonna be a chicken today?"

Instantly, Mississippi drew back from the others, as did Georgia. "I... we can't do it," Georgia stammered. "I'm sorry, y'all, but this is just too high..."

Chris rolled his eyes and dished out two more rubber chicken hats. "What about the three of _you?_" he asked, addressing Alabama, Texas, and Louisiana. "Are you three down with this?"

Louisiana hesitated, and eyed the immensely high drop she would have to take if she said yes. Nevertheless, she gave a shaky nod, and whispered, "I can do it. It... it won't be that hard."

"Then go!" Chris yelled, and promptly pushed Louisiana over the edge. She yelped, screamed, "_No!_ I _changed my mind! Nooo!_" as she tumbled down into the pool. With a tremendous _splash_, she crashed into the water, narrowly missing Hawaii, who was just getting out from his previous jump. Moments later, Alabama and Texas followed, roaring with laughter as they sped like bullets through the air and into the frigid water below. They seemed to be the only contestants actually having fun in this challenge. Chris gave them a little frown, as though he wasn't a huge fan of contestants having fun on challenges that were meant to be intimidating. He sent Mississippi and Georgia down on their way to the escalator, and announced, "From Team Touchdown, three out of five members jumped! I think that's our lowest rate yet!"

Chris clicked his tongue for a moment, scanning over an important-looking list. "Now... let's have Team Democracy go," he said. "Let's get them over with. Are you four all jumping?"

The four exchanged nervous, distrustful glances. After a brief moment, Pennsylvania raised her hand, and quietly mumbled, "I... don't think I can jump. It's too high, and I get... I get, like, asthma sometimes when I stick my head out of cars and I think it's because of the fast-moving air-"

"Don't care," Chris informed, and merely shoved a rubber chicken hat at her. "You three. Are you all jumping?"

New York cautiously eyed his teammates. Maine nodded her head determinedly, and decided, "Yes, I am." Massachusetts gave a nod, and eventually New York reluctantly nodded. "Good! Then jump," Chris commanded.

...

It took nearly five minutes for the three to decide who would be jumping first. Eventually, Maine just thrust her arms up exasperatedly and said she would be taking the plunge. Nobody was entirely willing to argue against her, and so her cry of terror echoed around as the clock struck twelve. Massachusetts came next, and finally New York, after quite a bit of persuasion from Pennsylvania.

"Glad _that's_ out of the way..." Chris muttered a little exasperatedly. "Now. Who's left?"

He turned his head to look around. The only contestants remaining were all from Team Dakota, and they all looked absolutely terrified. "I've done the math," North Dakota informed Chris matter-of-factly. "Even if my sister and I don't jump, my team will still have four jumpers, which ties us with Team Victory. So we'll still get the bonus."

Chris raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say, North Dakota!" he muttered, a small smile on his face. "If you've got your four jumpers all ready to go, then let's see."

"I'm _really_ not comfortable with jumping," Kansas whined. He was then promptly pushed over the edge by North Dakota, who was wearing an absolutely crazed expression. His scream was heard for miles.

"Oh, my _god!_" South Dakota cried. "_North Dakota!_ North Dakota, you don't have to do that, let _me_ go, it's okay-"

"Shut up, sis," North Dakota "politely" told her sister as she then pushed Nebraska over the edge. "You don't _need_ to jump. These so very _grateful_ people will jump _for_ us." As Oklahoma braced herself for the push, she seemed regretful of her previous affinity for North Dakota. And in less than a minute, the entirety of Team Dakota had jumped except for North and South Dakota, who were being issued rubber chicken hats. "Attention!" Chris yelled into his walkie-talkie to the contestants below. "We have a winner for the first part of the challenge! The team with the highest rate of jumpers was, at one hundred percent jumping, Team Virginia!"

A lone whoop could be heard from down below. "Wait, _what?_" North Dakota screeched. "Hold on - _Chris_ - we tied with Team Victory. _Our_ team had four jumpers! Virginia only had one!"

"The bonus goes to the team with the highest _rate_ of jumpers!" Chris informed her as he made his way towards the escalator for the second part of the challenge. "And technically, Team Virginia was the only team with one hundred percent of jumpers! Don't worry, I'm sure your team will do _excellently_ in the next part of the challenge."

**12:11 PM.**

A light rain started to fall again by the time Chris reached the bottom of the cliff. "Everybody ready to build some _hot tubs?_" he asked twenty-one contestants enthusiastically, gesturing towards five giant sealed wood boxes. "You all have until... 1 PM to make 'em!" Chris then informed. "Impress me, kids. I'll be waiting. If any of you slack off, well..."

Chris gave a nod towards Chef, who was brandishing a spatula rather threateningly. Chris chuckled lowly, and continued, "...then Chef here will know what to do."

There was a brief silence, broken only by Texas saying, "Alright, team, let's get started!" And thus, Team Touchdown was the first to start on the immense task of building an entire hot tub in only fifty minutes.

"Hey... where's North Dakota?" South Dakota suddenly asked, looking around. Her team was similarly confused, staring around. "Chris!" South Dakota asked. "Chris. Where's my sister? She was just with us. Did she tell you where she went?"

Chris just gave a shrug. "I'm headed to the crew-only buffet!" he told her as the rain continued to fall. "She's _your_ sister. You deal with her."

South Dakota was left staring defeatedly at where Chris disappeared. With nobody to lead them, Team Dakota milled about idly, unaware of what to do.

**12:25 PM.**

"Hey, um, be careful with that hammer," Oregon advised, watching Hawaii hack away at a bent nail. "You could accidentally, like... hit yourself in the eye..." Hawaii looked up at Oregon, and reassured him, "Don't worry, dude. It's okay."

California lifted a plank, struggling to keep it in place as her absurd little chicken hat bobbled on her noggin. "Hey, um..." she began hesitantly, "...Hawaii? Can... you maybe... help me? I'm just so tired..."_  
><em>

His eyes went a little wide. "Oh, um, _yeah_, sure, Callie!" he yelled, practically jumping at the offer. "Anything for you. Um. If you're - if you're okay with it, that is..."

"No, it's fine," California insisted, giggling as Hawaii dropped everything he was doing just to assist California. Washington rolled his eyes bemusedly at the two. "Well... I can say one thing for sure," he eventually said with a hushed tone. "I'd hate to be Virginia right now."

The six glanced over at Virginia, who was all alone and was tasked with building a hot tub all by herself. She sat in a pile of half-constructed wooden boards and nails, looking incredibly confused. Arizona stared solemnly at her, and quietly whispered, "I wish I could help her. I hope she's on our team after the merge. I hate when other contestants are in trouble, or when they need help..."

"You're so compassionate," New Mexico stated, grinning, causing Arizona to blush a little. She pushed him away playfully, but then said, "I wonder, though... I wonder if it would be okay if I helped her make hers."

Everyone in Team Victory stared at Arizona. "What?" Hawaii asked blankly. "You wanna help Virginia with the challenge?"

"Well, think about it!" Arizona insisted quietly. "She'd be so grateful! And not only that, but we might actually save her place in the game. After all, if she loses this challenge, then she goes straight home. No voting ceremony, no _nothing_. If we want her to like us enough to maybe... get on our side after the merge, then... then _gosh darn it_, I'm going to help her."

"Whoa! Crazy language there!" New Mexico yelped, amused, but let Arizona go anyways. "It's okay. We've got everything under control here," Washington said with a smile. "And that's actually not a bad idea, now that I think about it. You're the best at helping people, Arizona."

Arizona gave Washington a grateful smile, and then ran off to greet Virginia.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_129_mp3**

"I gotta say, it was real nice of Arizona to help me out like that. Without her, I think I might've lost the challenge. So... screw Team Dakota for tryin' to invade me last challenge, and screw Team Democracy for not helping me this one. I'm only trustin' _one person_ past the merge. And right now, that's Arizona."

Virginia

**12:54 PM.**

"_There she is!_" South Dakota cried, pointing off into the distance at an approaching figure, soaked in the rain. "Oh, thank _god_, there she is. There's North Dakota. Okay, thank goodness."

North Dakota approached slowly. "Where have you _been?_" South Dakota asked, practically livid with her sister. "We haven't made any progress!" When North Dakota heard _that_, she slowly scanned the scene. Her five teammates were all standing around a giant pile off wooden boards, nails, and tools. "You... you didn't even _start?_" North Dakota whispered, utterly horrified. "I - I was with..."

Her team waited patiently for the response. "You were where?" South Dakota asked. North Dakota gave a little gulp, and quietly admitted, "I was with Chris. At the... the crew only buffet... but _never mind that._ You five didn't even _start?_ What the actual _fuck?_ I - I leave you all for just a _while_ just to get some actual _decent_ food, and - and you didn't even - oh, my god, this is so outrageous."

North Dakota then turned on her team, absolutely and completely pissed off. "_SOMEONE is responsible for this_," she shouted. A few members of the other teams turned their heads to stare at the sudden commotion. "_NONE OF YOU did what you were SUPPOSED TO DO_."

"I'm _sorry!_" Oklahoma wailed. "It's so - so complicated! And we thought you'd get _back_, but you _didn't_, and now it's almost-"

"Shut the _fuck up_."

North Dakota took a few moments to think. She then looked around at everyone else's hot tubs. Team Touchdown was the only team that'd finished theirs; Team Victory was near finished. It was a close tie for third between teams Democracy and Virginia; despite the fact that Team Democracy had four people working and Virginia had two, Team Democracy didn't seem to be able to get much work done for some strange reason. And Team Dakota was pretty much the only team that hadn't done anything yet.

"_Shit_..." North Dakota muttered. "Damn it... I thought even _without_ me you all would be able to get _some_ work done. Looks like someone's going home tonight, then."

"Correct!" Chris suddenly declared, approaching out of nowhere. "North Dakota _is_ correct in the assumption that her team _will_ be going to the voting ceremony tonight! Nice to see you again, North Dakota. Hope you enjoyed the crew-only burritos. Was the hot sauce too spicy?"

North Dakota burned bright red with embarrassment. A few of the contestants started to realize that she'd just been granted crew-only food. Chris surveyed the rest of the hot tubs. "Looks like Team Touchdown was the only team that actually completed their assignment!" he announced. "For shame, everybody else. Looks like we've only got _one_ hot tub to donate to the, uh... charity for orphans."  
><span>

"Orphans need hot tubs?" Massachusetts asked a little skeptically. Chris raised a hand, and quickly said, "Never you mind, Massachusetts. Point is, Team Touchdown wins, and Team Dakota loses. Think real hard about who you're voting off, Team Dakota, 'cause you'll be voting _very_ soon. Into the buses, kids! I am _ready_ to get out of this rain."

**2:39 PM.**

"So..." South Dakota began nervously, approaching her sister in the middle of the bus. Rain continued to slick down the windows as it had in the morning. "Who are we, um... voting off tonight? I guess you've thought it out by now?"

North Dakota looked up from her magazine. "Huh?" she asked. "Oh. No. I hadn't. Um, let me think."

...

"Kansas."

South Dakota blinked. "Okay, why?" she asked a little nervously. North Dakota shrugged. "I dunno. It's the first name that popped into my head." At the sound of that, South Dakota appeared even more wary of her sister, and stammered, "Well, um, it's just... you're going to pick someone at, um... _random?_ I mean, don't forget, Kansas _was_ the one who _won us_ the singing challenge-"

"Pretty much. Tell everybody that's who we're voting for."

North Dakota didn't respond after that. South Dakota sighed, wondering desperately where her old sister had gone.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_130_mp3**

"Um... okay, I respect my sister's... _right_ to make decisions for our team, but, like... is voting people off at complete _random_ such a great idea? I mean... the sister I knew before this show wasn't like this. The sister I knew - silly, um, North Dakota, just a Sophomore in high school, having all her silly rivalries, and competitions, and being super competitive about scholar's bowl, it's just... she's different now. She's a lot colder. And it really breaks my heart to see her not care about people anymore! Y'know, I remember a time in which she actually had a crush on a boy. I remember! I won't say anymore than that, 'cause I'm sure she'd absolutely _kill_ me for it. Or at least take my entire Pokemon card collection away."

South Dakota

**7:03 PM.**

"When I call your name, you get a snack, yadda-yadda-yadda," Chris declared to a weary Team Dakota. It was painfully obvious who was going home, even to the particular person who would be leaving. Nevertheless, Chris was quite adamant about increasing the drama to absolutely frightening levels. He gave a little smile, and yelled, "Colorado! No votes. Nebraska, zero votes, _North Dakota_... zero votes, interestingly enough... Oklahoma, zero votes, and South Dakota! Zero votes."

Snacks were distributed, quite literally leaving Kansas without anything. The fact that everybody else got zero votes was surprising, however. "Hold up," North Dakota interrupted suddenly. "We all got zero votes? So... he got _six votes?_"

"Correct-a-mundo!" Chris declared. "He got _six votes_. So... yes. Kansas voted for himself."

And just like that, Kansas received the absolutely strangest stares. "What?" he asked. "That's... that's who you guys said to vote for... and I figure, hey, I'm going home anyways, so... might as well speed up the process..."

Hearing it put like that was absolutely, impossibly depressing. "Wow," North Dakota remarked, almost in awe. "That's... that's really something. You actually voted for yourself."

"Yep," Kansas confirmed, standing up to retreat to the bus to retrieve his personal belongings, which he'd already packed in advance after hearing he would be going home. "I'd say it's been fun, but that'd be a lie. See you guys later."

With that, Kansas was unsurprisingly voted off the show, ending the second act.

**10:46 PM.**

Late at night. Team Victory's bus. The rain had finally let up over the course of the night, but the old raindrops still clung to the windows like glue. A waning half-moon began to show through the clouds as it descended towards the horizon. Two contestants sat in one bunk room, discussing the past, each other, and their plans for the future.

"I don't know, I think pink's an okay color," Oregon insisted, lying on Washington's bed carelessly. "I mean, sure, like you said, it's overrated, but it can be used well sometimes-"

"It's so _gaudy_, though..." Washington muttered, reading a novel he'd picked up from the gas station a few days prior. "People _do_ use it too much."

"You're thinking of hot pink," Oregon informed Washington as he inspected his nails. "If you use a light pink, then outfits can actually look okay. But I agree, hot pink is too much when it's overused... ugh, some girls don't have any style. I'm serious."

Washington eyed Oregon and gave him a small smile. "So what do you think?" he suddenly asked. "About... what we should do after the merge. Chris himself said that we'd all be bunched up into two teams."

Oregon considered the question thoughtfully. "Hmm..." he murmured, blue eyes scanning the bottom of the bunk above Washington's. "I mean... what you and I should do specifically? Like... you and I as a, um..."

"Go on. You can say it. As..."

Oregon seemed a little reluctant to say the word. The entire concept of having a boyfriend was a little new to him, after all. "As... a couple," Oregon finished. "Well, I mean, it's not like we'll suddenly _stop_ being together-"

"Of course not."

"So, I think we should make it work," Oregon continued after pondering the question seriously. "And who knows? We might be on the same team! Oh, my gawsh, that would be so fab."

"Always the optimistic one," Washington remarked bemusedly. "Also, Oregon, seriously... you need to come out of the closet. To the team."

At that, Oregon started shaking his head vigorously. "Oh, no, I could _never_ do that," Oregon stated, looking terrified. "I'm just - no, I'm sorry, I just can't do that. I can't even begin to imagine how everyone would react... I know Hawaii's kind of against guys acting girly in general. He got onto me about saying the word 'pretty', can you believe him?"

Washington hesitated, and then said, "Well, like it or not, California knows."

"She _does?_ I didn't tell her! I swear-"

"I know you didn't. She says she has an 'excellent gaydar', whatever that means. She knows about me, too, though I can't even imagine how she figured _me_ out..."_  
><em>

Oregon thought about that for a few moments in silence, eyes drifting somewhat. "Well... I'll come out when I'm _ready_," Oregon decided. "I'm not gonna make someone force me to do it."

For a few minutes, the two simply sat on the same bed, enjoying each other's presence, and not talking. Lights sped past the windows as the bus headed west, towards Toronto for the Aftermath. Oregon suddenly gasped. "Oh, my gawsh, you know what we should do?" he said, looking a little excited.

"What?"

"We should... we should say our names."

"Ohhh, no," Washington decided rather quickly. "No, no, no. There are cameras everywhere. I'm sure Chris's documented this entire conversation. We are _not_-"

"But we should!"

"We'll get _disqualified!_"

"Well, then, that's _your_ problem, because I'll tell you mine," Oregon said, giving a little wink. "And then you'll _have_ to tell me yours out of guilt." At that last sentence, Washington groaned, because evidently he knew that's exactly what would end up happening. Oregon cleared his throat, flickered his eyes a little nervously, and then leaned in towards Washington's waiting ear, whispering...

"_My name's Collin_."

Washington withdrew from Oregon a little unexpectedly. "Really?" he asked. "It's Coll-"

"_Don't repeat it!_"

"Okay! Sorry, um, Oregon. But... really? That's so... ordinary. I thought you'd have a really... stereotypically gay name or something."

"What? I - huh? Can you even _name_ any stereotypically gay names?"

The sudden insistence of Oregon's query startled Washington. "Well, not on the spot!" Washington decided after a moment. "But... okay. I like your name, by the way, don't get me wrong. But we're seriously gonna get in trouble if we exchange names like this."

"I don't care," Oregon sighed, satisfied. "I've kept my sexuality _and _my name secret this entire season. I'm just happy to finally tell somebody both. Now tell me yours. And besides, it's not like the producers _know_ that we're not just saying fake names."

Washington hesitated, just briefly, and then leaned towards Oregon. He gulped, and whispered...

"_Well... my name is Daniel._"

Oregon gave Washington bouncing eyebrows. "Oooh!" he remarked. "Hmm! Okay. Wow, it's... it's so _weird_ knowing your name... like, I just know that you're _Washington_. You're regular, old Washington! Like George Washington, except cooler, and more attractive, and probably smarter, if I'm being honest-"

"Come on, Oregon, you didn't even _know_ George Washington, you can't say that-"

"But it's probably true," Oregon insisted, giving Washington a wink. "God, for someone so... _brilliant_, you're so modest."

The two chatted on deep into the night, unaware that a certain contestant was listening outside their door.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_131_mp3**

"Okay, I admit it, I've been _eavesdropping_ on the two of them, but I can't help it! They are _so adorable_. I mean, at first I was a little shocked they were together, and it was so sudden, but... man. I really wish I'd heard their names, I've been pretty curious about Washington's for a while now. But it's probably something ordinary, like Robert or John or something. Still. They are so cute. Call me a shipper, I don't care, it's true."

Arizona

**END OF ACT 2**

****ELIMINATED:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, and Kansas.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **TheWriterGirl09271998, Guest, and Winkie4!_  
><em>

**aspiringAnimator** - And so ends Act 2! I'd love to have ended it on an incredibly dramatic ending like I did with Act 1, buuut... I just couldn't find a suitable _thing_ to happen. Heck, the Aftermath is scheduled to be more dramatic than _this_ episode. Also, yeah, stay tuned for the Aftermath! It's comin' at you like a speeding bullet, and you are its target. Blaineley is the gun, and she is giving you a wicked smile, eager to be the host for just one more episode. Everyone is really creeped out at Blaineley, and wishes she would stop invading the story like this.

Also. I just totally noticed that _every single freaking pairing I've made in this fic_ (except California and Hawaii) features states that are directly adjacent to each other. Washington and Oregon. Alabama and Mississippi. Arizona and New Mexico. New York and Pennsylvania. Maine and Massachusetts, though those last two pairings aren't official or anything, just hinted at. Was all that intentional? Not even I am sure.

By the way, a quote from somewhere in each episode is now featured at the top of the episode, right under the title. Mainly for interest and foreshadowing.

Check back for new chapters! I'm coming at you every Wednesday and every weekend, so you'd better be prepared! Especially since we'll be starting Act 3 soon, and a lot of stuff happens. You know, stuff like Team America losing almost every single contestant over the course of an entire act and Team Victory not losing a _single challenge over the course of an entire act_. So weird! It's like I wanted the Oregon and Washington pair to happen before I even began writing this fic. So weird and unintentional.


	31. Aftermath 2

**AFTERMATH TEAMS**

**Supporting Team Touchdown** - Kansas and Utah.

**Supporting Team Democracy** - Arkansas.

**Supporting Team Victory** - Connecticut, Delaware, Michigan, New Hampshire, and New Jersey.

**Supporting Team Dakota** - Illinois and Tennessee.

**Supporting Team Virginia** - Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, North Carolina, and Ohio.

**BEGINNING OF INTERMISSION 2**

**EPISODE 30: AFTERMATH 2**

_"Remember the Courtney Incident of '07?" - Chris_

**Wednesday, October 15th, 2014. Toronto, Canada. 6:00 PM.**

"Welcome... to the second Aftermath for the most popular _and_ controversial show in North America!"

Blaineley addressed an audience roaring with applause. She soaked in the appreciation like a leech, smiling and waving her arms excitedly and squealing a lot. "A _lot_ has happened over the past month and a half!" she cried ecstatically. "And _I_ am here to dish out the drama! So. Let's get started."

The audience applauded once more, and then calmed down enough for Blaineley to speak again. "The last time I left you all, it was back in August!" she said. "Act 1 had just ended! That night we sent Michigan home, and possibly caused the complete destruction of almost the entirety of Team America. It's a fun time!"

Everyone laughed on cue at that. Blaineley grinned widely, and shouted, "And _speaking_ of the handsome devil... come on up, Michigan! You're our first loser tonight!"

Michigan strode on stage, wearing a white tuxedo and a nervous smile. "Good evening, Blaineley," he simply said. "It's nice to be back to talk about the show."

"I'm sure!" Blaineley responded, and giggled incessantly. "You know, I have been keeping tabs on you, my friend!" she informed him pleasantly after she finished laughing. "For someone from a team like Team _America_, you were _definitely_ one of my favorites. It was such a shame you had to go home so early! I know you were popular with a lot of the fans! What happened, sweet heart?"

Blaineley stared down at Michigan with a pseudo-sweet smile, and stuck out a microphone beneath his mouth. "Um..." he stammered. "Well, I mean... I didn't exactly expect to _win_... well, _maybe_, but I had fun while I did it. And I did get to meet a lot of really nice fans afterwards."

The host nodded her head sympathetically. "So brave," she breathed. "Well, Michigan, I'm gonna need you to take a seat, because here comes our sixteenth loser from the show! Give it up for the quirky, the weird, and the _bizarre_... Kentucky!"

Kentucky appeared, wearing a suit that did not appear to fit him properly. "Mornin'!" he greeted as he bounced on stage, even though it was actually early evening. "I'm here for the show!"

"Right you are!" Blaineley confirmed, smiling for the cameras. "So! Kentucky. _You_ had quite the spree on your team, but were voted off after you were seen as a nuisance!"

"It's a real tragedy!" Kentucky yelled, staring hollowly at the huge audience. "I'm one of the nicest people I know. It's funny, 'cause after I got voted off, Team America started losin' a _ton_ of challenges-"

"Yes, well, I'm certain the common consensus is that actually _Michigan's_ elimination kick-started those losses, not yours," Blaineley told him sweetly, and then pushed him towards the benches, where he would be sitting with Michigan. "Next, let's have... New Hampshire!"

New Hampshire walked pleasantly onto the stage. Her long hair was tied up in an elegant-looking bun, and she seemed pleased to know that her original team was down to just four contestants. After all, her elimination had been one of the most unfair; there was no basis behind her getting voted off besides complete randomness.

"Good evening, New Hampshire!" Blaineley greeted. "It's such a pleasure to have you on the Aftermath! So glad you could make it."

"Same for you, Blaineley," New Hampshire agreed, though she seemed to remember a few of the more brutal challenges Blaineley made her do. Without so much as another word, New Hampshire stepped off to join fellow ex-contestants at the benches. Blaineley raised her eyebrows slightly, yet plowed on, "Up next we have... Utah! Say hello to the audience, Utah!"

A teenage boy walked on stage, looking incredibly nervous. "Um, hi," he stammered. "I'm, um... Utah. I was voted off in the driver's test challenge. You know, the one where I reversed straight into a parked car."

Blaineley cackled with laughter, as did the audience right on cue. "Yes! You _did_, didn't you?" she sighed. "I remember that _very clearly,_ Utah. That required a _lot_ of legal documentation afterwards. Thank you _so much_. Now go take your seat."

Utah did as he was instructed, slightly put off by Blaineley's sudden passive-aggressiveness. "Up next!" Blaineley declared. "The girl who is _still_ recovering from a _major_ plane crash, give it up for North Carolina!"

North Carolina walked on stage in regular, everyday clothes, still wearing a cast for her arm. Other than that, she seemed recovered. "Hi, Blaineley," she greeted dully. "I guess I _have_ to do this, don't I?"

Blaineley ignored North Carolina's question, and said to the audience, "North Carolina here was showered with donations from faithful viewers after her plunge! In fact, you could say she's made the _most money_ off this show out of _any_ of us so far!"

"Hey, I didn't _ask_ for those donations, and you're acting like you're dirt poor compared to me!" North Carolina snapped back. "You make thousands of dollars off of gossiping about celebrities and teenagers on reality television! It's despicable, that's what it is-"

"That's enough from you!" Blaineley cheerily announced, and gave North Carolina a little push towards the stands. "We've still got more losers to introduce. Everyone, say hello to... _Ohio!_"

Ohio walked on stage with a grim smile as he wore a handsome black tuxedo. "Hello, Blaineley," he greeted. "It's good to be back." Ohio then scanned the bleachers and spotted Michigan. He then stared stonily ahead towards Blaineley, as though ignoring somebody. Blaineley smiled widely, and announced, "You had _quite_ the time on Team America. Early on, you got Virginia on your side, earned the animosity of Michigan over there, and kicked him off and forcibly assumed leadership! To make things worse, after _you_ left, things just completely collapsed on the team! What happened?"

"Well..." Ohio began, aware that he was being watched by millions on international television, "I mean... I screwed up in a lot of things. Particularly in the fact that some of my teammates didn't actually trust in me very much."

He then stared pointedly over at North Carolina and Kentucky over on the benches. "So... yeah. It was pretty rough," Ohio admitted. Blaineley nodded in agreement, patted him on the head roughly, and stated, "Well, Ohio, you'll be able to explain a little on your story in a bit! We've got an entire segment planned out and _everything_. For now, though, we need to get the rest of the contestants underway! Arkansas! Come on up!"

As Ohio went to plop a seat beside North Carolina, Arkansas walked on stage, eliciting a huge applause. It was clear he was a fan favorite, for some reason. "Hi, Blaineley!" Arkansas greeted. "It's nice to be here tonight! Thank you for inviting me."

"Likewise!" Blaineley shrieked. "You've developed quite the following on Twitter! In fact, some are calling you the go-to guy for all the news on the show! How's your time been with that?"

"It's been pretty interesting, actually," Arkansas admitted honestly. "I was following the show pretty adamantly after I was eliminated, and I guess... got a lot of followers with my tweets. Eventually some of the producers contacted me and asked if I wanted to be a... public spokesperson, so I was up for it. Right now I do a lot of traveling between-"

"How _fascinating!_" Blaineley lied, giving a huge, toothy smile to the audience. "I'll have to cut you short there, Arkansas, because we need to _get on with the show!_ Take a seat in the peanut gallery, and hold onto your nonexistent hat, because here comes... Maryland!"

Maryland, wearing an attractive pink dress, walked on stage, appearing incredibly nervous to be there. "Hi," she simply stammered, avoiding eye contact with the members of the audience. Blaineley smiled politely, and said, "Good evening, Maryland! It's so nice that you could make it."

"Um, yeah..." Maryland responded, eyes darting around somewhat. "I'm kind of busy today, so... I was hoping this wouldn't take long..."

For a split second, Blaineley gave Maryland a dirty scowl, yet her expression instantly morphed into that of genial understanding. "Of _course_, Maryland!" she exclaimed. "I was eager to get onto the next two contestants, after all. Bring on... New Jersey and _Delaware!_"

The audience burst into applause once more as the two walked on stage. Delaware was smiling widely, and New Jersey seemed to be trying his best to appear pleased to be there. "Hello, you two!" Blaineley greeted, holding her microphone out. "So! The two of you have told us that _neither_ of you are supporting Team Democracy tonight! In fact, as far as we can tell, there's only one contestant who is, and he wasn't even on that team! What's the scoop, guys?"

"Well..." Delaware began, appearing hesitant, "I just think... Team Democracy, over the past few weeks, has slowly started to-"

"They're a bunch of traitors!" New Jersey yelled. "I mean it. Massachusetts... New York... Pennsylvania... the whole lot of 'em."

"Interesting!" Blaineley commented, eager to juice the drama for all it was worth. "But, New Jersey, you _do_ realize that Massachusetts is actually now against both New York _and_ Pennsylvania, right?"

New Jersey stared at Blaineley with a blank expression. "I haven't actually, um... been keeping up with the episodes after I was voted off," he admitted. "But Team Democracy is going down regardless. _Especially_ after they apparently kicked off my main bro Connecticut."

"Oh, yes!" Blaineley exclaimed, eyes wide. "Connecticut _will_ be here very soon, don't worry! While we're waiting... I suppose a little _flashback_ from when Delaware was voted off would be nice!"

Delaware stepped back instinctively. "No, no, no, that won't be necessary," she stammered, right as Blaineley pushed her aside and pointed at a figure somewhere in the back. "Roll the clip!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_9_mp3**

_New Jersey was absolutely livid as Delaware walked away towards the taxi. "This is mother - motherfuckin' unacceptable!" he screamed. Everyone flinched, and stepped back slightly. "New Jersey, we picked you," New York insisted. "We wanted you over Delaware. That's good, that means we like you. You can get your head in the game now-"_

_"Ugh, you don't fucking understand!" New Jersey shouted. "As usual. If it was between me and Delaware, I'd want Delaware to stay in the game. And you completely blew that for her. You made that decision for her. How do you think she feels right now?"_

_That last sentence stung, and New York evidently decided to back down a bit. New Jersey stared angrily at the three who'd voted for Delaware, and then turned to the two who hadn't: Maine and Connecticut. "Maine! Connecticut!" he yelled. "You're in my alliance now."_

Delaware seemed a little flustered, while New Jersey stared stoutly ahead. "I stand by my actions," New Jersey declared determinedly. "New York kicked off _Delaware_ without even consulting me first. That's treachery." While Delaware would typically seem a little put off by New Jersey's declarations, today she appeared somewhat grateful for his presence, interestingly enough.

"I see!" Blaineley remarked. "We'll be able to catch up on the current situation in Team Democracy soon, don't worry! For right now, though, I'm gonna need the two of you to go sit down at the bleachers. Let's see... who's next on the list..."

Blaineley skimmed her clipboard for a brief moment, raised her eyebrows, and then yelled, "Let's have... um... Illinois come on up! Why not."

There was a brief commotion from somewhere behind scenes. A couple of thudded noises, and then Illinois was thrust on stage. "Um," he stammered. "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to go next. Isn't Ind-"

"Come on _up_, Illinois!" Blaineley exclaimed loudly. "You had _such_ an exciting elimination ceremony! In fact, that very episode is among the second most top-rated right now! The game show Chris came up with was certainly _very_ shocking. I tried to convince him to call it a 'fame show', but he wouldn't go for it!"

Blaineley then burst into somewhat deafening screams of laughter, as did the audience. Illinois seemed to draw into himself, slightly intimated by the Aftermath show now. "Um, yeah, I remember, Blaineley," Illinois pointed out. "I was there. You don't need to remind me."

"Oh, but I do!" Blaineley exclaimed. "This _is_ the recap show, after all! We won't have another one for ten more episodes! I have to cram as much content in this as possible!"

Illinois tried to reply to that, but he was shoved aside by Blaineley, who told him, "Go sit down, kid. We've still got more contestants to introduce tonight! Like... um... Tennessee! Tennessee. Come on up, sweetie!"

Illinois was forced to sit in the bleachers while Tennessee strode on stage, wearing an elegant-looking dress and a small smile. "Hi, Blaineley," she greeted, extending a hand. Blaineley begrudgingly shook Tennessee's hand, and then wiped her own hand on her dress while she said, "Tennessee! It's so good to have you on the show."

Tennessee nodded, smiling brilliantly. "It's been _so_ much less stressful now..." she admitted. "I no longer have to worry about teammates, or anything like that. It's nice. And to be honest, it's been a nice change of pace not traveling all the time."

"I'm certain!" Blaineley cried. "Well, that's all the time _I_ have for you-"

"Wait!" Tennessee suddenly said, alarmed. "Aren't you gonna - I - well, I mean... that's it? I led a rebellion in Team Touchdown! Doesn't that deserve... some kind of extra attention?"

"Nope!" Blaineley decided instantaneously. "And we've got to get on with our show tonight. And I would _love_ to hear from... Connecticut! Where are you, darling?"

Tennessee stomped away indignantly, while Connecticut took her place. He was wearing a brand new sweater, and smiling cheerily at the audience. "It's nice to see you again, Blaineley!" he said politely. "How are things?"

"Oh, you know how it is, Connecticut!" Blaineley said loudly. "Fighting poverty, hosting reality shows, getting kicked _off_ of said reality shows... it's been an absolute _whirlwind!_" At that, Connecticut hesitated, unsure of whether he should press on. "But do tell me!" Blaineley then said. "How did you feel when you discovered New York had blatantly lied about your sabotage against the team? I imagine you were _quite_ upset!"

Connecticut thought about that for a moment, looking solemn. "Well... yeah, I was," he admitted. "New York was my friend. When I rewatched the episode, and found out that he did that... it was really hurting. I honestly can't believe he went that far. I've known him for - for _months_ now, and it's just... terrible to see him take a turn like this."

Blaineley nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure, Connecticut," she said. "Well, I'll need you to go take a seat, because we have _one more__ contestant_ to introduce tonight... say hello to _Kansas!_"

Kansas, who was wearing a handsome tuxedo, walked on stage with a wavering smile. "Hello, Kansas!" Blaineley greeted, and then lied, "It's so nice to meet you again. You were voted off just a few days ago!"

"Um... yeah, I was," Kansas acknowledged, glancing around. "You don't need to remind me. I was there."

Blaineley burst into cringe-inducing laughter once more. "Oh, Kansas!" she cried. "You're _too_ funny."

"But that wasn't a joke-"

"And let's hear it for Kansas! So we can finally get on with this show!" Blaineley declared, and the audience applauded right on cue, shooing him off stage. "So! That's everyone, isn't it?" Blaineley quickly asked. "Because if that's everybody then we need to st-"

There was a large crash from behind the stage somewhere. Blaineley closed her eyes momentarily, balled her fists up, and began massaging her forehead. "Ohhh, _no_..." she quietly muttered. "Not _her_."

"Agh! Get your hands off me!" Indiana shouted, and was thrust on stage by some crew member. She wasn't wearing anything fancy; just her regular jeans and graphic t-shirt. She quickly looked around, sighed, and muttered, "Ohhh, _no_... not _her_."

Blaineley sighed loudly, waved her hands a little less than usual, and muttered, "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... _Indiana_."

Indiana stared contemptuously at Blaineley, and then towards the audience. "I am _not_ doing this," she determinedly stated. "I left the show of my _own accord_. You will _not_ suck me back into this to... to chat about some stupid contestants I barely knew just to entertain the dumbed-down generation of kids CampTV serves."

"You think _I_ like this?" Blaineley whispered harshly. "Just _be here for the audience_. Stop complaining. You're young and famous."

Indiana rolled her eyes, and just walked over to the benches to sit down, not wanting an overly elaborate introduction. Blaineley seemed perfectly willing to comply, and announced, "Everybody, the entire cast of losers from the past fifteen episodes are here!"

The audience applauded for the fifteen losers. Blaineley grinned widely, and shouted over the din, "Let's talk about Michigan and Ohio first!" The room hushed; fans had been clamoring for something like this for the past month or so. "We've put together a little _montage_ of their best, most _adora-bloodthirsty_ moments together!" Blaineley announced. "Roll the clip!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_10_mp3**

_"Well, this isn't so bad, right?" Michigan asked, sitting around a dying campfire with his nine other teammates in the middle of the woods. Ohio shook his head slowly, and rubbed his eyes. "You're wrong on that. We don't have any food or shelter."_

_Michigan sighed, but pointed out, "But we are at our campsite. And it's not like we... need food and shelter to win the challenge. All we need to do is to get back to Chris at eight AM tomorrow."_

_Ohio glanced at Michigan. "Sounds a little too optimistic. Do we even know where we are? I wouldn't be surprised if we got lost before even reaching Chris."_

_A scoff came from Michigan. "Don't worry, Ohio. We'll make it. No need for so much pessimism."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_11_mp3**

_Ohio rolled his eyes, glancing at his teammate. "I'm telling you, dude, you need to replace them. You can't just line them up again like that. Don't you know anything about how cars work?"_

_Michigan glanced at Ohio suspiciously. "Like it or not, I'm fixing it. Don't worry. Focus on your own task."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_12_mp3**

_"We need to do a striped theme!" Ohio declared, holding orange and purple cloth together for comparison. "It's simple. It's stylish. It will keep us from getting in last."_

_"Orange and purple look terrible together, you know," Michigan commented passive-aggressively, walking by._

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_13_mp3**

_"Michigan, I don't think it's a good idea to use more water. It's compact enough as it is."_

_"It's fine, Ohio. There's no need to worry. I'm just cementing what we have already."_

_..._

_"Right, because you're so very good at designing."_

_"Are you being sarcastic, Ohio?"_

_"Of course not."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_14_mp3**

_He sighed, and was about to retreat into the bus, before he added one more comment. "One more thing," he said slowly._

_"Don't trust Ohio."_

_Those three words resonated into the early Toronto evening. A few people looked worried. North Carolina was looking like she regretted her decision. A few moments later, Michigan appeared from the bus, with his rather large duffel bag in tote. "Well, looks like I'm off," he said, looking towards the taxi in the distance. "A handshake, Ohio?"_

_Michigan extended a hand towards Ohio, who still sat on the pavement below. There was a pause. Ohio didn't accept._

_"Right..." Michigan muttered, and headed towards the cab. "Bye for now."_

The clip ended right there, as both Michigan and Ohio were brought up at the front of the stage. "Um..." Michigan muttered, eyeing Ohio suspiciously. "I'm really not comfortable with this."

"Yeah, me neither, can we just skip to the next segment?" Ohio asked rapidly. "He smells like baby wipes and cheese."

"I do not! You smell like - like _cabbage_ or something-"

"I don't even like cabbage!"

"Boys!" Blaineley shouted, though she seemed elated to finally have some drama going on with her little show. "Boys, boys, settle down. There'll be plenty of time to settle old scores in the debate we've got planned! But let's talk about what the fans want to know. Have the two of you made up at all?"

Ohio looked up and down Michigan with disdain. He didn't respond, and neither did Michigan, who looked like he just wanted to go sit down now. "Come onnn, Michigan!" Blaineley yelled, trying to get him all riled up. "He got you voted off!"

"He got what he deserved," Michigan pointed out helpfully. "He eventually got himself voted off in the end. That was a funny episode."

"Shut it, Michigan," Ohio growled, avoiding eye contact with him. "At least I got _farther_ than you. _And_ I led a team."

"Yeah, you lead a team to its _death!_ Only Virginia's survived! And it doesn't matter if you got farther than me, because you still lost!"

Ohio seemed ready to flat out hit Michigan now. Blaineley predicted this would happen, and pushed the two apart. "Okay, now!" she consoled. "Go sit down over there, boys. We'll have you in the debate soon enough."

As Ohio and Michigan begrudgingly sat back down in their places, Blaineley turned to the audience with yet another somewhat off-putting big smile. "Okay, America," she began, "And Canada and any other viewers! We have to talk about the most _controversial_ couple of this season. Forget about New Mexico and Arizona, Mississippi and Alabama, California and - look, _n__obody_ saw it coming, but most fans will be delighted to know that... Oregon and Washington are _officially_ dating!"

A large portion of the audience began cheering and wolf-whistling. Blaineley gave the camera a wink, and said, "Not _everybody_ has been the biggest fan of the two! In fact, this was the very first gay couple in Total Drama history! But it is _happening_, folks, like it or not! Will the two eventually be separated? What misfortune will befall them? Currently... episode twenty-seven, _The_ Episode, ranks at the top of the charts right now! Not _everybody_ supports it... but absolutely _everyone_ is watching it."

Blaineley sighed for a moment, checked her watch, and yelped. "Okay, everyone!" she shouted. "We've got to begin the _debate_. Here are the rules. We've changed it up a little since we last met in August! Instead of one loser representing the team they're supporting, it'll be _all fifteen_ losers engaged in debating firefight! The team that gets the most votes against will have their real contestants go to a voting ceremony!"

The fifteen old contestants cheered, eager to start the part of the show where they influence the real show one last time before they left Total Drama forever. Blaineley pointed at five huge podiums that had been placed on the stage by the behind-the-scenes crew. "Losers!" she cried. "Go take your place at the podium for the team you're supporting!"

They all moved for the podiums; Five people each went to the podiums for Team Victory and Team Virginia, while only Arkansas went to Team Democracy's podium. For teams Touchdown and Dakota, only two contestants supported them. With everybody in place, Blaineley clapped her hands for the debate to begin. "Begin!" she announced. "When it seems like there is a consensus between two different teams, then we'll have a vote!"

"Alright!" New Jersey instantly said, stepping up on Team Victory's podium. "I'm New Jersey. I'm representing Team Victory! When I was alone, and everybody was playing Risk but me, I went to Team Victory during the sleeping challenge. They _accepted me with open arms_. They played Apples to Apples with me!"

Nods were shared among many. Team Victory was held in high esteem by most contestants. "Not only that," New Jersey continued, "but Team Victory is the _largest team in the game!_ That says something. They haven't lost a _single challenge_ since the last Aftermath."

"Yes, Team Victory's alright," Ohio acknowledged, though he also seemed to notice that Michigan was supporting Team Victory. "_But_... Team Virginia is better. Virginia is an _idol_ to many. She is the _underdog_, and she's been through so much from her team. She is the _only surviving member of Team America_. And, let's face it, Team America was a _really_ screwed up team for the most part."

Six ex-members of Team America all nodded at the truth embedded in that statement. "Virginia has the gumption to become a finalist!" Ohio continued. "If any team should at _least_ be taken down a peg, it's Team Victory. They've got _six_ contestants, after all."

Every ex-contestant that wasn't supporting Team Victory nodded in agreement to that. "Now, hold on," Michigan interrupted. "Team Victory is one of the _best teams_ we've seen in the game so far. Maybe not as efficient as Team Dakota, but if you had any team to pick to be in, which one would you choose?"

"Uh, the correct answer to that statement is Team Touchdown," Kansas suddenly declared. "They're fun to be with. They're all friends-"

"I can counter that," Tennessee icily interrupted, but Kansas plowed on, "and they're pretty funny! Plus they're all strong, which means they're gonna get real far in the game!"

"Heheheheh..." Connecticut muttered to himself. "Sorry, but strength isn't everything. Did strength help Team Touchdown win that SAT challenge?"

Kansas didn't have a reply to that. He simply stared down Connecticut with a cold glare. Connecticut smirked just a tad, and announced, "Team Victory is the most _balanced_ team. For intelligence, they have Washington. For strength, they have New Mexico. For beauty, they have California, for creativity they've got Oregon, et cetera, et cetera. Now the team _I_ despise most is Team Dakota."

A few nods went around at that. "Oh, please," Illinois interrupted, holding up a hand. "North Dakota is clearly one of the most intelligent power players we've seen _yet_ in any Total Drama season. Even if Team Dakota _does_ lose in this debate, we all know there's no _way_ she'd be voted off. No, the team that needs to go down is Team Virginia. Way too small. Plus, Virginia back-stabbed me, and _stole _what was originally mine. She took my place in the show-"

"Uh, you would've done the exact same thing," Indiana pointed out with a skeptical expression on her face. "This is stupid. Team Democracy's really to blame in all this."

Everyone turned towards Arkansas, who hadn't said a word for the entire debate. "Why _are_ you supporting them, anyways?" Michigan asked curiously. "Team Democracy only has four contestants. New York lied and got _several_ contestants voted off."

"Well - I mean - yeah, but he didn't mean it!" Arkansas stammered, slightly terrified of all the people ganging up on him. "I mean - yeah, he did mean it, but - but from what I can tell, he at least felt _sorry_ about it afterwards!"

Delaware looked down sadly at the floor. "I'm afraid I don't have much sympathy for New York anymore," she admitted. "He's a really nice guy, but... the way he voted me off just to get ahead in the game... and then New Jersey... and then Connecticut..."

A few solemn nods went around, particularly from members who had been voted off from that team. "Yeah..." Connecticut sighed. "I'm gonna have to go with Team Democracy here. I mean, not _everybody's_ bad from there... but I have a good feeling that if we _do_ pick them, New York will be the one eliminated."

He received a lot of head nodding to that. "Wait!" Arkansas shouted. "Come on, we need to - we need - let's vote for Team Touchdown!"

But most people had their minds set. Blaineley perked up her ears, and asked, "Have we reached a consensus? Can we vote yet?"

A lot of people had their minds set on Team Democracy, but some didn't seem to agree. Blaineley stood up straight, and addressed the fifteen losers, "Losers! If you vote for Team Democracy to go to the voting ceremony tonight, raise your hands!"

A pause. Hands began to raise. The only hands that _didn't_ were from Arkansas, Utah, and Maryland. "Looks like we've come to a conclusion!" Blaineley announced, smiling widely and facing the cameras. "The four members of Team Democracy are now being notified of their loss! Let's switch to the bus camera!"

**6:39 PM.**

Five long buses sat side by side in a dark parking lot. A huge, brightly lit theater wasn't far away. Huge spotlights waved around in the sky, signalling that a big performance was going on in Toronto. A half-moon slowly descended towards the horizon. Twenty-one contestants nervously listened to the results of the Aftermath's debate.

The situation was grim in Team Democracy's bus. To their horror, towards the end of the debate, everybody seemed increasingly anti-Team Democracy. And then...

"_Looks like we've come to a conclusion!_" a radio screeched. "_The four members of Team Democracy are now being notified of their loss! Let's switch to the bus camera!_"

Massachusetts groaned, and gave New York a suspicious glare. "This _sucks_..." Massachusetts moaned. "New York... you _heard_ them. They all voted for us because of _you_."

"You _know_ I didn't - that I regret voting off Connecticut like that!" he cried in desperation. "Pennsylvania - Penn, you believe me, right?"

Pennsylvania hesitated as a figure beckoned them from outside. "Um... yes, New York," she stammered. New York nodded. "Then we'll tie," he pointed out. "And someone at random will be voted off."

That didn't sound good to anybody at all. "Let's not... let's not worry about it," Maine cautioned as Chris sped towards the bus. "We vote, and then... and then one of us goes home. And that'll just be that."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_132_mp3**

"Oh, no. _Ohhh, no_. It's over. I think Pennsylvania is going to vote for me. And even if she doesn't, then someone gets kicked off at random. And _that person could easily be me_. I can't let that happen. But... but what can I do? Cheat, and... and put in multiple votes for someone. I can't do that. Could I? It's... it's an option."

New York

**6:44 PM.**

"Hellooo, Team Democracy!" Chris greeted, a big smile on his face. "You all ready to vote? Jesus, look at you all, you're about as white as a ghost. Come on down for the ceremony!"

Chris led the four onto the rough, cold asphalt. "This is the last voting ceremony you as a team will face!" he pointed out. "After today is the merge. But we've still got a few more days. Anyways, as usual, toss your votes into this hat so I can count them up."

One by one, each contestant deposited their vote into Chris's outstretched top hat. New York had quite a bit of trouble with his vote. After everyone finished, Chris took each slip of paper one by one and looked them over. When he reached the fifth vote, however, his eyebrow began to creep up his face.

"Uhhh..." he muttered, squinting. "Hm. Well. Now, _this_ is interesting. I'll have to abide by this. When I call your name, you are safe! I'll let you know how many people voted for you. If you _don't_ get your name called, you will _not_ receive a tasty snack, and will be forced to return home!"

He then stared at them all rather seriously. "Massachusetts!" he yelled. "No votes, surprisingly enough. Weird. You get a bag of pretzels!"

Chris tossed the food to him. Even Massachusetts seemed surprised he didn't get any votes, but quickly realized who must have. Chris smiled, and looked over his list.

"Pennsylvania! Also no votes!" he yelled, tossing a packet of skittles. "Nice job, Pennsylvania. Keep it up."

That just made it between Maine and New York. Evidently, New York and Pennsylvania had gotten together to vote for Maine, while Massachusetts and Maine directed their votes towards the obvious choice of New York. There was a pause.

"The final snack goes to..." Chris began, right when he was cut off by Massachusetts saying, "Chris. It's a tie. We know."

"Actually... it _isn't_ a tie," Chris said ominously. Everybody except New York looked instantly confused. Even Pennsylvania. "Like I was saying," Chris continued, "the final snack goes... to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"With two votes, New York!"

"What?" Maine yelped. "But - that doesn't make any rational sense! If New York got two votes, and nobody else but me got the other votes, then _I_ should have two votes!"

"Actually... you had _three_," Chris pointed out. "You got three votes. New York got two. Five votes total, four contestants... someone cheated."

There was a long pause as the realization dawned upon everybody. "Since I _cannot_ prove who did it, though I have a fairly good idea of who did," Chris then said, "I'm afraid I'll have to oblige this turn in events! Sorry, Maine, you're goin' home!"

"No!" Massachusetts cried. "No, she - she _can't!_ Holy shit - _New York, you fucking cheated!_"

New York jumped back a little, terrified of Massachusetts's desperation. "I didn't mean to!" he cried, though that was the _worst_ possible answer he could have given at that moment. Tears were beginning to collect in Massachusetts's eyes. "How _could you?_" he yelled. "You _know_ Maine and I are close! You _cheated to save your own skin!_ You are - you are _so selfish!_ All of _us_ were ready for the random picking! Why couldn't _you_ have been?"

"It _doesn't matter!_" New York rebounded, looking determined but scared. "What happened... happened."

"Wow, 'what happened _happened_'?" Massachusetts repeated incredulously. "Oh, so - Chris, _disqualify New York!_ He openly admitted to cheating!"

"_Well_..." Chris began, fidgeting slightly. "I'm not sure if I can. Technically, I never said you _couldn't_ cheat, so... I kind of _have_ to allow it. And besides, I've always been lenient of cheating! Remember the Courtney Incident of '07?"

"This cannot be happening..." Massachusetts muttered, rubbing his forehead. "I cannot believe this. Maine - Maine, _please,_ don't go."

Maine had been packing her things from the bus as they all argued it out. She appeared with her blue suitcase, and smiled sadly. "I'm... I'm really sorry, Massachusetts," she sighed. "This sucks. I know."

Massachusetts hesitated a little bit, torn between admitting something he'd been fearful of saying for a long time. New York noticed this, and groaned. "Massachusetts, come on, dude," he said. "You're gay. You don't actually like Maine, do you?"

"_Fuck you!_" Massachusetts shouted, turning on New York. "And fuck _me_ for ever thinking you could be trusted! I am _bisexual_. I have told you guys that from the _start_. Do _not_ do this right now, York. I am _not_ finished with you. You'd just better pray I'm not on your team after the merge."

Maine checked her watch. "I gotta get going," she said after a while. "My ride's waiting. Hey... guys? It's been a lot of fun."

There was a solemn moment of silence at that. "Yeah... I'm really sorry, Maine," Pennsylvania sighed, hugging her friend. "I am so, _so _sorry... I just wanted to stay on the show..."

"I know, Penn," Maine muttered. "I'll be rooting for you back home. You do well, now."

Pennsylvania wiped her eyes, and nodded shakily. Maine gave one last look to her team, one last wave, and then departed for the bus. And then there were three.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_133_mp3**

"Okay. I am officially screwed. It's... it's just me versus Pennsylvania and New York now. After New York - after he _cheated_, Maine is gone, and now... and now, I just... this is so horrible. The merge has to be good. There has to be some good to come out of it. I really hope I'm not on New York's team. But... I'll find out soon enough."

Massachusetts

**END OF INTERMISSION 2**

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, and Maine.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Emily A. Elliott, TheWriterGirl09271998, Nico Nico Nii You In The Face, and Angelina Everett!

**aspiringAnimator - **And _that_ is the final episode in which there are five teams. Next episode, which will be uploaded this weekend, there will only be _two teams_. Exciting! Say goodbye to the names Victory, Virginia, Touchdown, Democracy, and Dakota! The new teams will get new names, new faces, new relationships... it'll get crazy. I've got a lot planned for Act 3.

Because there are now only twenty contestants remaining, the max votes you can have on the poll has been lowered to two! Remember the poll? Fourteen people have voted on it! Cool, cool... but I _know_ more people than that are reading this! So, if you haven't already, give it a vote! Let your voice be heard. The polls _do_ matter more than you think. In fact, they might just affect the story in some way. Uh oh! Just revealing something I shouldn't have! Totally not intentional, of course.

Read, review, follow, favorite, do _all _of those things! I am really happy with the fact that I haven't dropped this fic. It's been a long, wild ride so far, and I am loving getting to write about these characters some more. And even though we're getting less and less characters with every episode, my average word count per chapter has gone up from 3,000 words to like _7,000_ now. On _average_. Is this normal? Is it _okay_ to write 14,000 words a week? I should see a doctor._  
><em>


	32. Battle of the Sexes

**BEGINNING OF ACT 3**

**EPISODE 31: BATTLE OF THE SEXES**

_"You messed up. And now you're having to pay the price for it." - North Dakota_

**Sunday, October 19th, 2014. Portland, Maine. 7:46 AM.**

Chilly winds swept across the Atlantic coast. Dull gray clouds covered the sky, threatening an icy rain. Five buses were all parked on the side of the road on the coast. Waves battered the rocks beside the buses, making sea spray go everywhere. Outside, Chris, Chef, and a large number of interns all put equipment together for the first big merge. This was a fairly important day, after all, and any mistakes could lose Chris his career.

The commotion went unnoticed by Washington, who faced his team with a sad expression. At his side, Oregon stood, who seemed ready to burst into tears. Before him, four of his teammates sat around three large boxes labeled "CONDOMS: 500 COUNT". The teens sitting around Washington looked serious; emotional, even. This would be the final day Team Victory would be together.

"Guys..." Washington began, and hesitated. "I don't even know where to begin. This team is quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me."

California wiped a tear from her eye, and nodded fervently at his words. "We've survived for an _entire act_ without losing a challenge," Washington continued, gazing solemnly at his team. "That is incredible. I can't even _begin_ to express how impossibly... _good_ we are. We actually did it. I can _definitely_ see someone from this team winning the game. I mean, we _are_ three tenths of all the remaining contestants, so... it's not unlikely."

Nods were exchanged at his words. "Best of luck, everybody," Washington said, as Chris outside waved for the kids to come out finally. "This is where we part."

"Question!" Hawaii suddenly shouted, raising his hand. "Are you and Oregon actually dating?"

Washington blinked. The bus grew very silent. "Um. What?" was all he replied. "Are we... well, I mean... who told you that?"

Hawaii then pointed at California, who gasped and pointed at herself. "_Me?_" California exclaimed a little humorously, and then, "I would _never!_" Washington rolled his eyes at that, and then turned to Oregon. "Well?" he asked. "Should we tell them?"

Oregon hesitated, and glanced over at his expectant teammates. It... didn't particularly seem like he would be castrated by this particular group of teens. Not only that, but... everyone seemed to respect Washington, so... there was no harm in admitting it, right?

And then, Oregon gave a short, curt little nod to Washington, who turned towards the team. "...yes. We are," Washington revealed a little anticlimactically. New Mexico's jaw dropped. "Wait, you two are _gay?_" he yelled. Washington nodded, as a few others turned to stare at New Mexico. "You... didn't suspect until now?" Arizona asked a little tentatively as she nudged her boyfriend. New Mexico glanced around defensively, and stammered, "Well, I - if it was so obvious - I don't know... nobody told me! Sorry for not realizing, I guess."

"It doesn't matter, dude," Washington reassured. "It's a... it's a recent development. But it'd be nice if you guys didn't tell some of the other teams."

Oregon nodded a little fervently at that, right as Chris stuck his head in Team Victory's door, and yelled, "Hey! Come _on_, Team Victory. It's time for the merge. Get your butts out here."

**7:58 AM.**

Twenty contestants were led out of their buses and into the cool Maine air, finally free of their confines once more. The day was finally here; the teams were being split, and then joined into two. Chris strode in front of everybody, constantly fixing his hair due to the intense coastal winds. "Alright, kids!" he yelled. "Everyone separate! There _are no more teams anymore!_"

Slowly, the contestants started to spread out, all by themselves now. Chris flicked his wrist, and just like that, three of the five buses drove off. "We only need two buses now!" Chris announced. "Yes, we _will_ merge the teams again eventually, but that won't happen for a very, _very_ long time. Right. Here's the teams."

There was a long, incredibly anxious pause; minutes seemed to go by as Chris made a few markings on his clipboards, surveying his ever-decreasing list of names. And then...

...

...

...

"Boys versus girls!" Chris shouted suddenly, startling everybody. "I counted up everybody. Strangely enough... there are exactly ten boys left, and ten girls left. So... the guys are on one team, while all the girls are on the other!"

North Dakota rolled her eyes, a little miffed that she wouldn't be able to pick any of her teammates. "Ugh. Isn't boys versus girls what you picked for the merge in Total Drama Island, too?" she asked. "Very original."

Chris scoffed. "Get together according to your gender!" he shouted. "These are gonna be your teammates for about a month! Get cozy with them. Those two buses will be _very_ crowded again."

Two groups of ten contestants all grouped together. One one side, New Mexico, Washington, New York, Nebraska, Texas, Colorado, Alabama, Oregon, Hawaii, and Massachusetts all stood, nervously avoiding eye contact with each other. One the other side, however, California, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Pennsylvania, Arizona, Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi, and Virginia awaited further instruction. Chris grinned at them all. "Alright!" he yelled. "Pick a team name for your team! This is gonna stick with you all, so pick wisely."

There was a brief pause, and then North Dakota clapped her hands loudly. "Alright, ladies!" she shouted. "I propose we name our team 'Team Dakota'. Is that alright with everybody?"

Virginia stared at North Dakota. "What?" she asked. "No... no, we're _not_ gonna be namin' this team after the one you were just in. And isn't having a team named after yourself kind of selfish?"

A number of the girls nodded their heads. Oklahoma grimaced at the opposition, while South Dakota didn't seem to know whether or not to side with her sister or with all the other girls. "Yeah, well," North Dakota explained, "we want a team name to signify our strengths, right? So we should have the name Team Dakota."

"This team ain't all about you," Louisiana pointed out. "You need to pick a name that we can _all_ agree on."

"Psh. Look at 'em," Texas muttered, staring at the huge group of girls. "They're _already_ bickerin'. Hey, y'all, I'm real glad this is a team of just _men_, am I right?"

A few chuckles were shared. "Yeah, I know what you mean..." Colorado replied, glancing around at all his new teammates. "Personally, I'm just happy to have finally gotten away from _her_..."

Colorado then jerked a thumb towards North Dakota, who's suggestion seemed already to have been overridden by all the other girls. Nebraska nodded in agreement to Colorado. "Well... guys, we still need a team name," New York eventually said. "Any suggestions? Something simple and nice sounding would be best."

"Ah, well, I _propose_ we become 'Team _New Mexico_'!" New Mexico declared in an incredibly silly accent, mocking North Dakota as his sunglasses glinted sunlight. "After _all_, my good chums, we must display our _strongest_ qualities, _hmm?_"_  
><em>

Loud laughter followed New Mexico's banter. "Ohhh, dude, you're funny," Alabama gasped, clasping a hand on New Mexico's shoulder. "I like you already. But seriously, y'all, we gotta pick a name. Maybe we ought'a be Team Chris? Y'know, to get in on his good side?"

"I don't know..." Washington murmured, thinking it over. "Something to tie in with the USA would be good. Like, the beliefs America was founded upon."

"Oh!" Massachusetts suddenly exclaimed, remembering something. "I remember - back in the first episode, I suggested we name our team... Team Freedom. But we ended up going with Team Democracy instead."

"Hey, I like that!" Hawaii said. "Team Freedom would be a totally awesome name. And it's all about... about America, yo!"

"Team Freedom all the way!" Texas shouted, whooping. "Go _America!_"

Chris cleared his throat loudly. "Ahem!" he said suddenly. "Boys. Are you all cool with the name Team Freedom?"

He received a lot of fervent nods in reply. Chris wrote something down on his clipboard, and smiled widely. "Awesome!" he yelled. "The ten of you now make up Team Freedom. Go onto... _that_ bus right there and unload your things. Pick your rooms and _don't fight_. There's a room for everyone. Hey, girls!"

Chris was now shouting at the ten girls, who all still hadn't decided upon a name yet. "You all figured out a name yet?" he asked. "Because we need to hurry this up if we wanna make it to the location of the challenge."

Arizona glanced around at her teammates, who all gave her a little nod. She stepped forward, and proclaimed, "We've all decided on the name 'Team Fabulous'. Because that's what we are."

Nods of agreement were exchanged from the others. Chris raised his eyebrows. "Huh. Team Fabulous, then?" he repeated. "Lemme just write that down. You all get the _other_ bus. Drop off your stuff and pick a bunk! We need to get going soon."

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - Alabama, Colorado, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Texas, and Washington.

**Team Fabulous** - Arizona, California, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, and Virginia.

**8:14 AM.**

Virginia peeked her head around the door of a bunk room, gazing at its absolutely empty interior. She was admittedly excited about finally having some teammates who weren't insane for once. She stepped into the cramped little four-bunk room, and set down her bag on the lower bunk of a vacant bed.

"...told me to stay away," a voice came from outside in the hall. "She said she's _heard of me_ or whatever. I'm getting her eliminated first chance I get." The voice suddenly paused. "Who's this?"

North Dakota had just walked into the bunk room, accompanied by her sister, South Dakota. "Oh," North Dakota muttered. "It's the Virginia girl."

Virginia didn't receive any other kind of reply after that. North Dakota simply waltzed in and set her items down on the bed opposite to Virginia. "Um. Okay," Virginia said, after North Dakota didn't say anything. "Were you... talking about me just then?"

"What?" North Dakota asked, head snapping up. "Oh. No. Just one of the other girls. The red haired one with the tan. Arizona, I think. She told me she'd 'already heard of me' and told me to stay away. Can you believe that?"

Virginia raised her eyebrows a little. "Probably," Virginia answered honestly, to North Dakota's irritation. "No offense or anything, but you kind of have a reputation."

North Dakota was about to snap something ugly in reply, but checked herself at the last second. She then put on a seemingly happy smile, and sweetly replied, "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, then. I'm North Dakota. It's a pleasure to meet you, Virginia."

As South Dakota claimed the bunk immediately above North Dakota, Virginia shook hands with North Dakota, though she seemed slightly distrustful of her new roommate. "Likewise," Virginia responded cautiously. Just then, Pennsylvania peeked her head around the door frame. "Um. Hi," she greeted nervously. "Is - is it okay if I, um... bunk in here? All the other rooms are taken..."

North Dakota was moments away from telling her to scram, right when Virginia gave Pennsylvania a friendly smile and said, "Sure. You can take the bunk above me. I'm Virginia, by the way."

Pennsylvania gave just a tiny little nod, and mumbled, "...hi. I'm Pennsylvania, but... you can call me Penn, too, I guess. Some people started doing that."

"Well, okay, Penn," Virginia acknowledged, as Pennsylvania dropped her luggage on the bunk above Virginia's. North Dakota rolled her eyes at the newest intruder, and pulled a magazine out from her bag.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_134_mp3**

"I... probably need to start being more careful. I don't _know_ these girls. All these girls are used to having... having 'free will', or whatever, and being able to vote for who they want. Looks like my dreams of controlling an entire team again are over. Buuut... I _do_ think I could build up a healthy alliance will _some_ of these girls. I'll have to wait and see."

North Dakota

**8:55 AM.**

The two buses were underway, now, heading along the coast towards a town not far away. Orange and yellow-leaved trees lined the roads of the state of Maine. Twenty contestants, previously spread over five entire buses, were now squeezed into two buses. Nobody was really keen on bickering, though; everyone was very intent on giving off a good first impression for all their new teammates.

Washington was lying down on his new bunk, reading a book as the bus grew ever-closer to its destination. Oregon's bunk was directly above him. The bottom bunk beside Washington's was now owned by Massachusetts, and above Massachusetts was Nebraska, who hadn't talked much, and had merely taken the room because all the other ones were taken.

"So... you're Washington, right?" Massachusetts asked, a little eager to meet his new teammates. He received a small nod in reply. "I met you before," Massachusetts continued. "Back in one of the old challenges. A looong time ago. You were with your friend there."

Massachusetts pointed up at Oregon, who was doodling. Washington blinked. "My friend?" he asked. "Oh. Oregon. Um... we're actually-"

"On the team I was just on, it was just me, New York, and Pennsylvania..." Massachusetts muttered, looking thoughtful. "I hope Penn's alright. You met New York, too, I think."

"I did," Washington acknowledged. Massachusetts gave Washington a furtive glance, and whispered, "If I were you... I wouldn't trust him. He quite literally cheated a few days ago to get my - to get Maine off the show."

"Did he really?" Washington asked, a little alarmed. "But - wow - why didn't Chris do anything about it? And, moreover, how do you know?"

"New York admitted to it," Massachusetts said. "And I really did consider him to be my friend. I really did. But... if he tries to get on your good side, Washington, I'd stay away."

"Noted," Washington said.

In the main room, a large group of the guys were sitting on the couch and watching a big football game on TV. "New York Giants versus Dallas Cowboys, baby," Texas exclaimed, eyes glued to the screen. "The Cowboys are gonna win for sure."

"Tex, you're from _Houston!_" Alabama exclaimed. "You ain't from Dallas, dude! Why ain't you supportin' the Houston Texans this year? Think they're gonna lose again?"

"Aw, shut up, Bama! You're just mad 'cause Alabama don't have an NFL team."

"But we got the Crimson Tide! And y'all _know_ we're takin' the SEC by storm this year."

New York scoffed slightly as the New York Giants lost a couple yards yet again. "I don't really see the point of football," he admitted. "You run back and forth across a field of fake grass. It's a spectator's sport. Did you know billions of dollars are spent betting on football games every year?"

He then got a lot of angry stares from a bunch of the guys. "If you don't like it, then you don't really have to watch it," Colorado pointed out kindly. "I'm just looking forward to the Broncos versus the 49'ers game tonight."

Just then, a football player was absolutely steamrolled on-screen. "Ohhh, that looks like that hurts..." Hawaii muttered, wincing at the screen. New Mexico, sitting on the couch with Alabama and Texas, shrugged. "I dunno, Hawaii. Football looks like it's _my_ kinda sport," New Mexico admitted, arms crossed and staring at the screen. "I just wish I knew what's going on..."

Both Alabama and Texas turned to New Mexico with slightly off-putting, incredibly excited expressions. "Ohhh, you're _love_ football, dude," Texas said breathlessly. "Okay, look - look, New Mexico - that guy right there's the quarterback. Tony Romo. Man's like _fire_ on the field-"

"Then why's he down on the ground?"

"'Cause he just got sacked," Alabama cut in, pointing at the screen. "Didn't throw the football fast enough. Now, they gotta get it to the end zone, for a touchdown, and then they do their touchdown dance. You got a touchdown dance, New Mexico?"

"Uh, no-"

"Well, I got one, an' Tex has got one," Alabama informed him. "Just in case we get in professional football. Now, I do football at my school back home, an' I'm a wide receiver, so I sometimes get to jimmy out a dance for my _incredibly_ lovin' fans-"

New York suddenly walked out of the room, as though he couldn't stand the talk of football anymore, and also because the New York Giants were beginning to lose to the Dallas Cowboys.

**9:06 AM.**

At last, the now two buses had finally arrived in the small city of Portland, Maine. A warm October sun rose high into the sky, casting light over a multitude of shimmering orange trees. Leaves skittered the ground, lifted by the faintest forces of wind. The pedestrians on the sidewalks wore warm, tight-fitted scarves and woolen hats. Most of the twenty contestants, however, had nothing to protect them from the cool Fall temperatures.

"Welcome to Maine!" Chris greeted, arms extended. "Also known as: the state that's as close to Canada as you can get! Here, you can find history, cold weather, and _lobsters_. So! Who's hungry?"

Nobody responded, as most contestants were still adjusting to their new teams. Chris frowned a little. "Well, like it or not, we've got a challenge, kids," he informed them all. "A nice way to kick off the joining of five teams into two! _Someone_ will be going home... but who?"

He then stared at everyone with a cocky little grin. "Today... we're doing a _cooking challenge!_" he introduced, and gestured vaguely towards a restaurant behind him. "Each of the five - er, no, _two_ teams - will be cooking me a _very_ nice meal! The team that does _worst_, according to my judging, will be the one that goes home! Sound good to everyone?"

Chris received a variety of nods in reply. "Lemme show you kids around!" he then said, and walked towards the restaurant at a brisk pace. "The owners of this fine establishment have been kind enough to lend us their restaurant for use in our challenge today in exchange for an advert!" he announced. "Which reminds me! Citizens of Portland and the surrounding area, visit Papa Pete's Pizza Parlor today! Use the code "TOTALDRAMA" to get a coupon for ten percent off!"

Chris continued to walk into the restaurant, as if what he just said was a regular thing he did. The twenty contestants followed him, eager to begin the challenge. "In here, you'll be cooking!" he cried, pointing towards the kitchen in the back. "You will have _two entire hours_ to complete the challenge. It's only one meal, so make it count. I will be judging at the end. Chef, if you could do the honors?"

Chef muttered something foul, and led the twenty contestants into the kitchen. "Don't _touch_ anythin'!" he barked, surveying the kids suspiciously. "I got my eye on y'all."

Arizona gulped, and kept her head down, as though Chef were quite literally about to strike her. South Dakota sniffed the air, and exclaimed, "It smells like burnt toast in here!"

Chef rolled his eyes, as though their complaints were of zero relevance whatsoever. "Don't burn the place down," he reminded them sternly, and then left.

**9:14 AM.**

"I was thinking of doing burritos," Massachusetts mused, looking at the ingredients around him. "Does Chris like burritos? Can someone confirm that for me?"

Colorado shrugged, filling up a pan with water. "I don't know. How should I know?" he asked. "I _assume_ he likes burritos, since he and _North Dakota_ chowed down on them not long ago..."

Oregon gave a weak little laugh, and said, "I guess you're liking being able to say what you want now?"

Colorado nodded stiffly. "For the past three and a half months, my opinion's been moot," he informed Oregon as he poured frozen peas into the pan. "It's a nice change for people to actually care what I think. Nebraska... you feel the same way, right?"

Nebraska looked up suddenly. He'd been fiddling with the knobs on the oven. "Oh... what?" he asked. "I mean - yes, definitely..."

Colorado paused, and stared at Nebraska sternly. "Don't agree with me just because you think you have to," he advised him. "Speak your mind. You're safe now. Nobody's gonna castrate you for saying what you want. This is Team Freedom for a _reason_."

The only reply Colorado received from Nebraska was a nervous little laugh. Just then, New York frowned, and sniffed the beans Massachusetts was cooking. "You're seriously going with the burritos idea?" New York asked incredulously. "That stuff looks like - like slop, almost."

There was a brief pause. "Uh. What?" Massachusetts asked, not even diverting his eyes from the pot. "That's funny. I've been cooking for Team Democracy for the past three months, and I don't recall being told my meals were sub-par. Maybe if you'd told me beforehand, I could've changed the recipe a little to _your liking_."

The room began to grow silent. New York took a small step back, and stammered, "Well - Massachusetts, if you'd just - okay, listen, dude, I messed up-"

"Not now, York," Massachusetts ordered, holding a hand up. "I've seriously got to concentrate right now, and your presence is distracting me." At that, New York hesitated, and then walked off, as if nothing had happened.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_135_mp3**

"Okay. Screw the winning Massachusetts back over to my side idea. I don't - I don't need him. I just need... _somebody_ to be my friend on this team. But the problem is that I don't _know_ anybody! The southerners, as far as I can tell, appear to be oblivious idiots with a penchant for football and being annoying. I guess I _could_ try to befriend Nebraska or something, but... _somehow_ he doesn't seem like that strong of an ally. I could go for Colorado, but he seems kind of high on free will at the moment. And then there's the - the _four_ _guys_ of Team Victory, but I don't know any of _them!_ So... what do I _do?_"

New York

**9:38 AM.**

Over on the girls' side of the kitchen, things were a little different. Initially, North Dakota had begun bossing a lot of them around, aided by Oklahoma, but her words went unheeded by them all. Currently, Louisiana was heading the cooking operations, as she whipped up what would be a delicious broth of gumbo for Chris, sitting peacefully on the stove for now.

"Oh, my gosh, back in LA, we had this _amazing_ frozen yogurt place near my house," California informed them all as she sat on a counter, inspecting her fingernails. "Like, they had _so_ many flavors. _All_ of the flavors."

"Really?" Mississippi asked, absolutely astounded. "I only had ice cream before. Blue Bell ice cream, now _that's_ the way to go."

South Dakota approached Louisiana, curiously inspecting the gumbo. "That's really cool..." she murmured, gazing down at the broth. "You put rice in it? I thought gumbo was like chili."

"It's _sort_ of like chili," Louisiana informed her as she slowly stirred. "Except... with more rice, sausages, and spice. It's really good. Y'all wanna try some?"

South Dakota hesitated slightly, and held a hand up. "No thank you, Louisiana," she said with a small smile. "I-"

Just then, North Dakota appeared beside South Dakota. "Hello... Louisiana," she greeted with a somewhat off-putting smile. "I'm North Dakota. I can tell you have quite a lot of experience in the culinary department."

Louisiana backed away from North Dakota. "I... you're North Dakota, aren't you?" she asked. "I've heard about you. Please don't... um... I'm not interested in any kind of alliance. At all. Please just let me cook in peace."

North Dakota scowled, and then icily said, "Just trying to make conversation, _Louisiana_. If I were you, I wouldn't be so... _hostile_ towards potential new friends. Just some friendly advice."

Louisiana stood there, mouth slightly opened. "I..." she began, unsure of what to say. "Um... I don't really feel comfortable around you. Can you give me some space? I'm cooking here-"

South Dakota suddenly gasped, and pointed at the pot. Louisiana hadn't been stirring it for several minutes. "Ummm..." South Dakota said tentatively, "is it _supposed_ to be smoking like that?"

"Yes, it's got steam coming off of it, I - oh, my _god!_"

There was a thick black smoke rising out of the pot. Louisiana screamed, and started batting at the gumbo with a wet cloth. "Augh! Why is it doing this?" she screamed. "I - I haven't added any more water to it - oh, _shit_ - someone _help me!_"

Arizona rushed forward, carrying a huge pail of water. She lifted it, and absolutely dumped it _all over_ the gumbo Louisiana had been making. And just like that, Team Fabulous's meal was completely spoiled. "_No!_" Louisiana cried, utterly devastated. "My - this was our _main course!_ Augh - no - we used up all the rice, too..."

The nine other members of Team Fabulous all gazed solemnly at Louisiana's ruined creation. "Oh, no..." Pennsylvania quietly murmured, touching a hand to her cheek. "What do we do? We already used so much of our ingredients..."

Georgia suddenly came up with an idea, eyes growing bright. "Hey! It's not completely over!" she reminded everyone. "Y'all, look, we've still got - still got an hour an' fifteen minutes left! And I _know_ we can come up with something good before time's up! Let's see... what do we have left...?"

There really weren't that many ingredients left. Both teams had been given a healthy supply of rice, beans, tortillas, vegetables, and various meats, but that was it. Georgia cautiously nosed her way around the kitchen, searching for anything that could help Team Fabulous get ahead in the challenge. She crouched down, and pulled a box from one of the lower shelves of a tall rack. With a face of determination, she pried the top off, to reveal-

Hundreds of boxes of pancake mix. "This is our ticket!" she exclaimed, holding a box up for them all to see. "Pancakes! We'll make a _ton of them_ - high _quality_ pancakes - I worked at Waffle House over the summer, so I know how to-"

"We're seriously gonna make pancakes?" North Dakota asked blankly. "I'm sorry, whatever-your-name-is, but Chris isn't going to _want_ hundreds of nasty hotcakes. Remember, everyone, it's no longer about doing _well enough_ not to get voted off - there's not five teams anymore. Now, it's about doing better than the other team _no matter what_. And I don't think making a bunch of hotcakes is gonna win us a victory."

"Oh, don't be such a pessimist!" California cried, holding up a box of pancake mix. "I _love_ pancakes. Can we make some blueberry ones? My daddy always made those the best."

"Um... sure, if we've got blueberries!" Georgia declared optimistically. "And - and we could make chocolate pancakes! And banana! Oh, I bet Chris will _love _all this..."

Georgia's words of encouragement were certainly buoying up a large number of the other girls to support her idea. Before she knew it, everyone was absolutely pumped for making the most radical pancakes Chris would have ever tasted in his life.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_136_mp3**

"I'm really likin' bein' on a new team! All these girls seem so nice! And I really love actually... actually helpin' us out in the challenges. With Team Touchdown, it was always... always about Bama and Tex, but now... I don't know! It's just much more of a team effort now."

Georgia

**10:29 AM.**

The challenge was in full swing. The kitchen was heating up, both in terms of tempers and actual temperature. Pancake after pancake was produced from Team Fabulous, while Massachusetts and Colorado prepared what would surely be known as the greatest burritos ever made. Each and every contestant had a part to play in the production; Oregon was on sauce duty, Nebraska was in charge of presentation, and Alabama had consented to become a taste-tester. New York tried to become a vague supervisor to the entire process, but only exceeded in the department of getting in the way.

"More spice!" Massachusetts ordered, after inspecting the sauce Oregon was simmering. "But not too much. I'm not very sure exactly _what_ Chris likes."

"Well, we _do_ know for a fact that he likes burritos," Colorado said, recounting his tale once more. "So I think we've got a _much_ greater chance, compared to the girls' gigantic stack of _pancakes_ over there..."

"Quality over quantity!" Washington said, flipping a burrito with a spatula. "I really think Chris is gonna be wowed by this. I kind of wish we had more judges, though, for this challenge... like, what if he just happens to not like it? Three judges would balance it out, and be more fair in the point-giving."

Nobody replied to Washington. It seemed like he was just speaking to himself. "Hot plate coming through!" Hawaii exclaimed, carrying the cooked peas through the crowd. "I don't wanna spill this."

Suddenly, New York saw his chance at making a friend. "Here, let me help you with that," he offered, taking the plate from Hawaii. Hawaii blinked, and said, "Well, alright, if you think you can handle it. Yo, um... if you don't mind my asking, who are you...?"

"Ah, I'm New York!" New York greeted with a pleasant smile. "But you can just call me York. That's what a lot of people do. And you are...?"

Though New York actually already knew the answer to the question he asked, he was simply trying to make conversation. "I'm Hawaii, bro," Hawaii greeted, pleased to make another companion. "So you're from New York City? I've never been there. Or anywhere in North America until I got invited onto the show."

"Well, yes, I am," New York confirmed, setting the plate of peas down on the counter, where they would be tasted by Alabama for any inconsistencies. "It's a big city I guess, but when you've lived there your whole life, it doesn't seem so big."

"Wow..." Hawaii breathed, taking a brief moment's break from work. "I really want to go to another city again. This show's done that for me, y'know? Like... bro, Chicago was _so_ big..."

New York frowned. "There are bigger cities than Chicago," he pointed out. "And there are also cities in Europe and stuff. Kind of sucks that this show is limited to just American-"

"Hey!" Massachusetts suddenly exclaimed, a little annoyed by the fact that there were two of his teammates not even helping at all at the moment. "You guys have to help, too. Someone has to keep watch on the ovens and make sure the first batch of burritos don't burn."

New York scoffed. "That's Massachusetts," he muttered quietly to Hawaii. "He's kind of an asshole. He thinks I _cheated_. Can you believe that?"

Hawaii gaped a little, unsure of what to actually believe. "Seriously? Dude, that's messed up," Hawaii mumbled in response, shaking his head slightly at Massachusetts. "Thanks for the heads-up, bro. I never would'a suspected it otherwise..."

New York nodded curtly at Hawaii. "My pleasure," he muttered. "But we've seriously got to get back to work, unless we want _Massachusetts_ against us..."_  
><em>

"Yeah, I feel you, bro," Hawaii responded, and quickly got set back on the task of delivering more food to the warming beds.

**11:03 AM.**

"Alright!" Chris exclaimed, fork in one hand and knife in the other, as he sat at a huge table all by himself. He wore a tiny little bib tucked into his neck, giving him either the appearance of a rather stately eighteenth century American politician, or that of a young toddler about to be spoon-fed a healthy serving of mashed peas. Texas appeared, dressed in full butler attire. "Your meal is ready, sir," he stammered, eyes staring at a fixed point ahead of him. "From Team Freedom," he added unnecessarily.

"Bring it out, then!" Chris ordered, excited to finally eat. "I'm hungry, and I'm ready to get this challenge going." Texas nodded, and disappeared into the kitchen. Moments later, he reappeared, with Oregon, Colorado, and Massachusetts at his sides, all carrying huge platters of food. The plates were spread out onto the table; a bowl of peas, a platter of small sushi rolls, and a huge plate of what seemed like a dozen huge burritos, all laden with enchilada sauce and perfected with herbal ingredients by Nebraska.

"Hmm..." Chris muttered, inspecting the entire array. "Looks all good, but.. where's my drink?"

Massachusetts face-palmed. "We forgot the _drinks_..." he seethed in a low whisper. Texas saw his opportunity, and clamored, "Um, Chris, sir, if you want, I can go fetch you a glass of ice water. It'll only take a moment-"

"No, no, no, this is fine..." Chris insisted, still a somewhat annoyed. "But thanks anyways." Chef leaned over Chris's shoulder, and took a whiff of the food. "These damn kids don't know nothin' about cookin'," he complained, grimacing at the burritos. Chris took his fork, stabbed it into a burrito, and lifted a sliver of the meal into his mouth. With a noticeable hesitation, he bit down, and slowly chewed, contemplating the flavors. "Mm. It's spicy. Could be spicier, but, y'know. The beans are too soggy, though..."

Massachusetts awaited Chris's verdict on whether or not his skills as an amateur chef were up to ChrisStandards™. Chris chewed thoughtfully, and then took another bite. In between chews, he informed them, "I like it! It's not exactly... _five star_ quality... but not bad, Team Freedom! Not bad at all."

He then shoved the plate away from him, and delightfully wiped his mouth with his bib. "Bring on Team Fabulous's meal!" he shouted to the kitchen. Massachusetts was flabbergasted. "I - what?" he stammered. "But you didn't even try the sushi! Or the peas! Aren't you gonna-"

"Nope!" Chris decided. "Go on back to the kitchen, Team Freedom! Your time here is _over!_ It's time to see what the ladies of Team Fabulous have to offer."

Georgia burst out of the kitchen, aided by four other girls. They all grunted in effort as they strained to deliver a huge plate, absolutely _laden_ with pancakes of various assortments. Chris's eyes widened at the spectacle when the giant, four-foot-wide plate was deposited on the table before him. With a small flourish, Georgia set down a glass of milk and a tiny little pitcher of syrup and butter for him to use. "Enjoy!" she exclaimed.

"Um. Wow. This is a lot of pancakes," Chris said unnecessarily, eyes travelling up the monolith. "You made all these in just two hours?"

"One and a half, actually," Mississippi corrected. Chef grimaced at the many stacks of pancakes. "This is just _too much!_" he shouted. "My mama ain't never made pancakes with _chocolate_ in them."

"Not all of them are chocolate!" Oklahoma insisted, pointing at a few of the hotcakes. "Look, you've got - you've got blueberries, and bananas, and some regular ones, and those have cinnamon-"

"Alright! Alright," Chris interrupted, taking a fork in his hand. "This is a _lot_ of food. How am I supposed to eat from this plate?"

Georgia shrunk a little at that. "I hadn't thought of that," she commented quietly. "Um, I guess, just... take a pancake from the middle of the pile. Slide it out like a book from a shelf."

"'Like a book from a shelf'," Chris repeated, somewhat skeptical. Using his fork, he prodded one of the pancakes at the base. He tentatively pulled at one of the pancakes, until-

The stacks began to wobble. "Uhhh..." Chef murmured, staring at the issue and slowly stepping away, "Chris, man, you might wanna-"

Chris looked up to see cascades of pancakes raining down upon him-

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_137_mp3**

"_Okay_. So... maybe pancakes weren't the _best_ idea. And especially not as many as we made. But we made a few, and we still had an hour in the challenge, so... we didn't want that time to go to waste! So... we made a few more. And then several hundred more. Y'all, I'm sorry, but I was tryin' to work with what I was given."_  
><em>

Georgia

**11:19 AM.**

With the efforts of Chef and a few of the contestants, Chris was successfully pulled from the huge pile of pancakes. "That's _it!_" he shouted, voice reaching new levels of anger. "I have absolutely _had_ it with pancakes. No more, _ever_. Team _Freedom_ wins this challenge."

The ten boys from Team Freedom all celebrated with their victory. "Yeaaah! We _did it!_" Alabama cheered, after giving a small smile to his girlfriend, who was now on the other team. "No... no voting for us," he continued, voice faltering.

Over in Team Fabulous, however, moods were beginning to broil. "We... _lost?_" Georgia asked, somewhat disheartened. "I can't believe this. But - but our pancakes were good, _right?_"

"I'm not sure! The only time I ever got to taste them was when I was _buried under a foot of them!_" Chris shouted, brushing bits out of his hair. "You ten girls go back to your bus and _think about what you've done_. I'm gonna take a shower..."

**4:01 PM.**

"Options... _options_..."

"What are you _talking about?_" South Dakota asked her sister, who'd been pacing her bunk room for the past twenty minutes. North Dakota froze, and stared at South Dakota suspiciously. "I'm talking about building up my alliance again," North Dakota explained, sitting down on her bed with a loud huff. "Y'know. Back to the good old days, where I had an entire _team_ bent to my will... I need to have people on my side on this team. And _apparently_, everybody's already 'heard of me', or whatever the hell that means."

"Well... you did kind of... um... treat everybody like crap on Team Dakota," South Dakota pointed out, wincing at her sister's glare. "That was really mean of you. You should try to make _friends_, not allies-"

"Friends won't get you _anywhere_ in this game," North Dakota pointed out a little irritably. "Look at what happened to Team Democracy. _They_ were all friends until something happened, and now the gay guy hates New York for some reason."

"That's Massachusetts, and he's actually bis-"

"Shut up, sis. I need to think."

North Dakota sat in silence for a moment, mind working like clockwork. South Dakota rolled her eyes, right as Pennsylvania walked in, carrying a Sprite and climbing up onto her bunk to read. North Dakota then snapped her fingers. "Okay," she said. "Everyone's going to want to be voting off Georgia for losing the challenge today. Or Louisiana, she also screwed up. But I say we shouldn't vote Georgia off. Louisiana's a much better candidate."

"Um... why?" South Dakota asked, afraid of the answer. "Because," North Dakota continued, "Georgia doesn't seem as rebellious as Louisiana. Georgia would make a _perfect_ alliance member. Louisiana, on the other hand, was a second-hand man to Tennessee - er, second-hand woman, whatever - when Tennessee was doing her little rebellion thing in Team Touchdown."

"I have no clue what you're talking about," South Dakota slowly said, shaking her head. "What's this about Team Touchdown?"

"Ugh, do you seriously not pay any attention to anything, sis?" North Dakota snapped. "Tennessee didn't like how Alabama and Texas were running things, and decided to make an alliance. It was a smart move on her part, except for the fact that Georgia quickly switched back over to be on the boy's side. And then the alliances weren't equal. But Louisiana stayed for a while, meaning she's more rebellious, which is why _she_ needs to be voted off. I can convince the others. Like Pennsylvania up there."

Pennsylvania gave a little yelp, and acted as though she hadn't been listening to everything North Dakota said. "You've been listening, right, Penn?" North Dakota asked, eyes narrowing. "What do _you_ think we should do?"

Pennsylvania gulped, and stammered, "Um - uhhh... like - like you said, we uh... vote off Louisiana. Heh."

North Dakota nodded in approval. "Good girl. I can convince a _few_ of the others to be on my side in this."

**6:59 PM.**

"Welcome... to the first voting ceremony of Act 3!" Chris announced, spreading his arms grandly for the ten contestants sitting before him. "Also, it's the first voting ceremony for Team Fabulous! A _lot_ of things could change due to tonight's events. However, I've got nine snacks for the ten of you! The contestant that does _not_ receive a snack _will_ be going home. Heheheh."

A tiny sliver of a moon descended into the horizon, no longer illuminating the yellow and orange trees of Maine in a hazy blue glow. Chris stood intimidatingly over everyone, holding a chocolate bar in his hands. "Arizona!" he shouted. "No votes. Here you go."

The candy was tossed into her hands. Chris then paused, and yelled, "California, Mississippi, and Oklahoma! No votes for the three of you!"

They were showered in three bags of chips raining from Chris's outstretched hands. He seemed to be enjoying this. With a smile, he then shouted, "Pennsylvania, South Dakota, and Virginia! You three are the last to receive no votes."

That just left North Dakota, Louisiana, and Georgia. Nobody seemed particularly certain over who would be going home that night. Chris lifted a bag of Rolos, and jiggled it into the air, as though feeding a pack of goats. "Who wants the Rolos?" he asked, grinning widely. "Because this bag is going... to..."

...

"North Dakota! You got two votes. Surprise, _surprise._"

North Dakota caught the bag expertly, glancing around suspiciously at whomever might have tried to issue those votes. This just left Louisiana and Georgia, who glanced at each other with fearful gazes. "Two southerners!" Chris yelled, smirking. "One versus the other, but only one will remain on this team after tonight. The final bag of Doritos Cool Ranch chips goes... to..."

...

...

...

"Geooorgiaaa! Two votes, actually!"

The bag of chips landed right into her lap. Louisiana seemed offended. "_What?_" she exclaimed, eyes widening as she realized what had happened. "I made you all - I made the gumbo!"

"Yeah, but it... it went bad," California murmured, seeming slightly guilty. Louisiana scoffed. "But her pancakes _buried Chris!_" Louisiana countered. "She - I never thought I'd say that sentence in my life before now, but - she needs to go home! Why me?"

North Dakota shrugged, and gave a pseudo-friendly wave to Louisiana. "Bye!" she yelled to the southerner. "You messed up. And now you're having to pay the price for it."

Louisiana gaped at her team. "I can't _believe_ I didn't get farther than _one episode_ after the merge..." she muttered to herself as she stomped off towards the bus to collect her things. Arizona frowned at Louisiana, a little concerned for how she was voted off like that. Chris raised his eyebrows at her departure, and then addressed the cameras. "Well! That's the beginning of Act 3!" he announced. "What's next in store for Team Fabulous? Will they continue to lose, or will some alliances begin to form...? Catch the exciting next episode this Wednesday on CampTV at 8/7 Central! I'm Chris McLean, and _this_ has been _The Fifty State Roadtrip!_"

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, and Louisiana.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** TheWriterGirl09271998, Guest, Olivia Lovett, Winkie4, Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN, and StayOuttaMyShed!

**aspiringAnimator** - Gonna keep this short and sweet, because this chapter was _looong_ and I don't wanna increase the word count too much. What do you all think about the teams? Very early on, I decided to go with boys versus girls, because it was easy to understand, and because it's kind of hard to tell these state's genders until I use a him/her pronoun in front of what they say. Now it's like, bam, oh, they're on that team, so they're a guy, et cetera. I'm not sure if this was ever a problem, nobody's said anything about being unsure of a state's gender before. But now it's _definitely_ not a problem.

I'm looking for constructive criticism! Until recently, I've really only gotten compliments (which are great, I am not complaining about that) but feedback is really more about getting suggestions, concerns, and constructive criticisms. That kind of thing. Plus, it'll totally help me as a writer, or something. I'm not sure. Maybe. That's what I keep telling myself.


	33. Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - Alabama, Colorado, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Texas, and Washington.

**Team Fabulous** - Arizona, California, Georgia, Mississippi, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 32: LAISSEZ LES BONS TEMPS ROULER**

_"I heard they cook babies into cakes!" - Arizona_

**Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014. New Orleans, Louisiana. 10:11 AM.**

Two buses, finally underway with Act 3, were forced to speed through the eastern United States in order to get to their destination. Along the way, they passed huge cities, rolling hills, awe-inspiring landmarks, and the wide open fields of the South. Across the country, the weather was undergoing a sort of transformation; the long, warm days of summer were long-gone, replaced instead by chilly mornings and cool afternoons. Dead leaves descended like snow, covering the ground in a sort of crunchy mulch. While most of America continued along with its everyday life, for the nineteen contestants still on The Fifty State Roadtrip, each day was yet another step forward in the ever-lengthening battle for victory.

Most of the time, anyways. At the moment, two-thirds of the contestants' time was spent sitting around the buses and stopping at fast food places every now and then. Though fans at home were often describing their favorite contestant's lives with great sympathy, things were actually not that bad.

On the morning of the thirty-second challenge day, Oregon was sitting on Washington's bunk bed, reading a magazine about interior design and silently criticizing where the decorators put certain pieces of furniture. Washington was sitting on the floor, attempting to solve Oregon's Rubik's cube; so far, he'd only gotten one side completed after almost an hour of work. Massachusetts was showing Nebraska the basics of origami, though he appeared to be making little progress. In the rest of the bus, shouts of laughter sometimes arose, but this particular room was typically quite peaceful.

"No, no, see, you have to tuck it into the fold you just made," Massachusetts instructed, pointing vaguely at the paper crane Nebraska was supposed to be making. "You keep crumpling it up. Don't grab it so hard."

"This is too hard," Nebraska stated tensely, scooting away from Massachusetts. "I can't do it."

Massachusetts was about to argue otherwise, but decided against it. "Fine," Massachusetts decided with a sigh. "You can do it yourself, Nebraska."

Nebraska appeared to immediately regret his decision to do it himself, but didn't say anything, and instead focused timidly on the tiny piece of paper in his hands. Massachusetts sat down beside Oregon and said, "So. Are you two ready for the challenge today?"

Washington looked up from the floor. "Oh. Yeah, we are," he stated blankly. "I'm not _excited_ about it, but Oregon and I are ready."

Oregon nodded, still reading his magazine. Massachusetts sat for just a moment longer, and then asked, "Are you two... um. Hm. This is going to sound really weird, but..."

Washington turned to stare at Massachusetts again. Massachusetts waved his hands frantically, and rapidly disclaimed, "Never - never mind. It's nothing."

Oregon seemed a little confused, but didn't make much of it. "Go on, you can say it," Washington said slowly, as though he'd already predicted what Massachusetts was about to ask. "Um. Okay," Massachusetts continued, a little hesitant. "Don't get mad at me, but... over the past few days or so... uh... are you two...?"

Washington stared at Massachusetts expectantly. "...dating?" Massachusetts asked, the tiniest trace of humor in his face. "Because I saw, uh... you two... kissing. Yesterday. In the bathroom. The door was open. I didn't want to say anything at the time."

"Wait, you were _watching us?_" Oregon yelped, really off-put by Massachusetts now. "_No!_" Massachusetts yelled. "I mean - just be glad it was _me_ and not some of these other guys on this team! I know Alabama gave me the stink-eye because he thinks I'm gay. I heard him say it, even though I'm actually-"

"Yeah, I know, you're bisexual," Washington cut it. "Can we stop making a big deal about this? Because it's not that big of a deal."

Washington's curtness seemed to surprise Massachusetts. "...okay," Massachusetts obliged, somewhat flustered. "I just - I just wanted to confirm it, that's all."

At the sound of that, Nebraska groaned, and fell onto his pillow. "Wow. I seriously can't believe this," he muttered monotonously. "All of my roommates like guys."

Just then, before anybody could say anything to contradict Nebraska's statement, there was a short little knock on the door, and New York's face peeked in. "Hi," he said a little unnecessarily. "Massachusetts? Can we talk?"

"No, York-"

"Just for a second. I won't take much up of your... time."

Massachusetts hesitated, and then walked out of the room and into the hall of the bus. "Fine. What is it?" he asked sharply. New York scratched the back of his head, avoided Massachusetts's glare, and stammered, "I... am looking for a peace treaty with you. To... stop this animosity between us. Come on, dude," New York insisted, when Massachusetts seemed ready to leave, "We're _friends!_ Remember? I was _on your team_. And - and I never distrusted you, Massachusetts. I always wanted you on my side after the merge."

New York seemed desperate. Massachusetts scoffed, and said, "You cheated. You got my - you got Maine voted off, and you _know_ how much she meant to me. Why do you want to be my friend so badly? I'm perfectly capable of handling myself, thank you very much."

"_Because_," New York continued, "you've - you were my _friend_. You still _are_ my friend! I can't be on this team with nobody to support me. All I'm asking is a peace treaty between us. To... stop all this glaring, and avoiding each other. We're on the same team again, and we _have_ to deal with that fact. You can't just run away from your problems."

Massachusetts pondered that for a few moments. In the end, he muttered, "I'll think about it, York. But that doesn't change the fact that what you did was _wrong_. Remember that."

New York breathed out a sigh, as Massachusetts retreated back into his bunk room. _That could have gone worse. Could've have gone better, yes, but it most certainly could've gone worse._

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_138_mp3**

"Okay. I... I _see_ what New York is trying to do. He clearly doesn't have any support from this team. He needs me to stay in the games. So... I'm at an advantage here. If I reject his offer, then that just means... more pointless bickering, and ignoring him, and honestly, ignoring him is getting a little old. But if I accept... then he'll be dependent on me. And maybe he'll turn out good again! Maybe he won't actively vote off people I like. Maybe. I'll have to seriously think about this."

Massachusetts

**11:34 AM.**

The girls' bus rumbled ahead, leading the way in front of the boys. They passed over wide, sweeping rivers, thick swamps, and hundreds of acres of pine forests on the trip down into Louisiana. This was a big challenge, day, or so Chris claimed, and everybody needed to be on their best behavior. At least, behavior that can be expected from a bunch of teenagers crammed into two buses and then carted across the country.

After Team Fabulous had lost their first challenge, tensions were running high. No longer did cheery faces dominate the living quarters of the bus; instead, nervous, tense expressions were held. The fact that Oklahoma insisted on yelling at people, claiming that she was representing her leader, North Dakota, wasn't helping anything at all.

"Keep out!" she continued to remind the girls as she stood guard in front of North Dakota's bunk room. Virginia was trying to enter. "That's _my_ bunk room," Virginia argued, arms crossed and expression even crosser. "You don't even sleep in there, Oklahoma."

"It's still my duty to serve North Dakota, and she gave me _specific_ instructions to keep everyone out of this room while she speaks to her sister," Oklahoma said, expression satisfied, yet grim. "Move it along. You can come back later."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_139_mp3**

"I _really_ want to impress North Dakota now. I can be like her second-in-command! Once she sees how loyal I am, I think I have _much_ better chances at winning this thing. And besides... _I_ got bossed around when I was first on her team, so now these _new girls_ should be, too. It's only fair."

Oklahoma

**11:37 AM.**

Virginia rolled her eyes, and drifted down the hall, peering into rooms as she went. Most of the other girls were in the main room, discussing the upcoming challenge in hushed, excited tones, but Virginia spotted a lone teammate not involved, and instead sitting by herself in her bunk room and reading a book. Virginia entered the room to face Arizona.

"Oh, hi!" Arizona greeted, giving a small wave. "I'm not sure if I've completely introduced myself. I'm Arizona. You must be Virginia."

Virginia nodded, a smile growing on her face. "Yep. That's me. You wouldn't happen to know anything about why Oklahoma isn't letting people in that one room?"

Arizona shrugged, and rolled her eyes. "I swear... I _really_ don't trust that North Dakota," she advised, "and you shouldn't, either, Virginia! You've heard the stories, right?"

Virginia's face fell somewhat. "Bits and pieces," she admitted. "I've just heard about how bad it was on... on Team Dakota from y'all. But North Dakota doesn't _seem_ like that bad of a person-"

"She's a _sociopath_," Arizona explained with a small sigh. "Of course she doesn't seem bad when you first meet her. But I've been watching her! The way Louisiana was voted off... wasn't fair."

Virginia nodded fiercely in agreement, sitting down next to Arizona. "I hear you there," she agreed. "But I kind of have to bunk with North Dakota and her sister, so... I'm not sure if complaining'll help much. Best thing I can _probably_ do is to stay out of her way, I guess... what challenge do you think we're doing today?"

Arizona shrugged, and peeked out the small, dirty window. Outside, the bus was crossing a huge bridge over some giant muddy river. "We're going to New Orleans, I think," Arizona predicted. "I've never been. You?"

"Once," Virginia replied. "It was for Mardi Gras. It was really loud and smelly."

"Mardi Gras is a stupid holiday..." Arizona remarked, and then nervously glanced at Virginia to make sure she wasn't hurting any feelings. "I mean, they throw plastic beads and ride floats, and they - _I heard they cook babies into cakes!_"

Virginia gaped at Arizona with a slight horror. "I - what?" she gasped. "_Babies?_ I'd _heard_ of that, but I'd always assumed they were tiny plastic babies-"

"Well, either way, it's a _crazy_ holiday at the least..." Arizona said determinedly. "I wonder if today's challenge will have anything to do with it."

**11:49 AM.**

"Today's challenge has _everything_ to do with Mardi Gras!" Chris announced to the nineteen contestants still on the show, and standing patiently in front of the two buses on Bourbon street. "I'll reveal more in a minute, but first... you kids have _got _to try the cuisine here," Chris yelled, and then licked his fingers exaggeratedly. "Mmm! As the French say, 'Bone Ah-Peh-Tite'! Hon hon hon!"

Chris only received a lot of equally exaggerated eye-rolling in response. "Hey!" he yelled. "We _could_ be descending into the sewers of New Orleans to fight crocodiles. But I'm being nice, and letting you kids decorate Mardi Gras floats."

"Um. Actually, alligators are in North America," Washington pointed out for the second time on the show so far. Chris held up a finger, and whispered, "Shush! Now try the food I was talking about earlier. They call these craps!"

He distributed several plates of what seemed to be folded pancakes, filled with fruit and powdered sugar. "Hey!" California suddenly squealed. "These are crêpes! I had these in France when I went there! Oh, my gosh, let _me_ have one!"

"Since _you've_ already _had_ one before, that means _I_ should get some!" North Dakota exclaimed, yanking the plate out of California's hands. Chris had his own plate in hand, and greedily licked the sugar off his fingers. "_Mmm!_" he moaned. "So good. I'm not gonna have any more than that, 'cause I gotta keep in shape. Anyways! Just wanted to share that with you kids. Totally not a sponsorship at all."

He let those last words hang for a second in the air, and then winked at the camera. "So! The challenge," Chris continued as though nothing had happened. "Today, each of the two teams will be designing their very own Mardi Gras float! You will have two hours to complete the challenge! And since Blaineley's off doing some awards show up in Montreal, and Chef is taking a 'fall break', or whatever that means... it looks like _I_ will be the only one judging your floats!"

His announcement received mixed reactions. Though a lot of the guys seemed pleased Blaineley wouldn't intrude on yet another challenge, the girls were a little more wary of Chris's judgement skills, especially after the previous challenge. But before anybody could argue, Chris clapped his hands together briskly, and pointed towards a back alleyway. "The wooden floats you'll be designing are down that way!" he informed them all. "There's paint and stuff provided and everything. Get moving."

**12:03 PM.**

A hot southern sun beat down on the nineteen contestants of two teams, even though it was mid-October now. They all crowded around two large wooden crafts, armed with paint brushes and a determination to win. Currently, Oregon was leading the boys' effort, since he seemed to be one of the only guys with any kind of artistic potential, while for the girls... they were being led by North Dakota. Not willingly, of course.

"Keep those brushes _wet!_" she shouted at Pennsylvania, who cowered under her words. "You can't let the paint on them crack up and dry. If you're _done_ using them, then put them back in the water bucket."

"I don't really see why you get to order us what to do," Arizona pleasantly remarked, as she painted a flower onto the float. "We know not to leave the brushes out."

North Dakota narrowed her eyes, and seemed to completely despise Arizona at that very moment. "_Because_," she explained, "we don't want to lose to the guys _again_. And if we have _no leader_, it seems _way_ too likely that'll happen."

Shrugs were exchanged. North Dakota's words seemed to make sense to most, though not everyone was very sure about being led by someone with such a dirty reputation at her. She surveyed them all with a satisfied glare, eager to be leading once again. Not everyone seemed to pleased with her, though. Those who shared Arizona's opinion that North Dakota had no right to suddenly take leadership without warning included Virginia and South Dakota, to a small extent. The latter was mainly just concerned about her sister, however.

"I don't know... I think Arizona has a point," Virginia suddenly said after a long silence. "I get that you think you're the person to lead us, North Dakota, and that's okay, but... can't we all just work together as a _team?_ We don't _need_ a leader."

At that, a few girls seemed to like Virginia a little more. "Yeah," California commented, "she has a good point." North Dakota groaned, and shouted, "Ugh, can we _not_ bring this up again? I thought we were done arguing about it. _This_ is why we need a leader. To stop pointless arguments."

"About who gets to be leader, "Virginia finished, seeming more and more skeptical of North Dakota as the minutes wore on. "If we never thought about who gets to be leader and who doesn't, then - then _anybody_ could just assume control! Which is why we need to work as a _team_."

North Dakota was about to snap something back, when South Dakota tugged on her sister's arm, and quietly muttered, "Sis... she has a point. Maybe you can lay off it for a while? There's no need to try and be so - so _controlling_-"

And then North Dakota wheeled around to face her own sister, wearing an absolutely disgusted expression. "What was that, South?" North Dakota asked, eyes narrowed. "Sis, I cannot _believe_ you are even _thinking_ about siding with these - with these _losers_. South, you support _me_, or I _abandon you_. And I _know_ you wouldn't have lasted a day without me in this game. So step off."

South Dakota was physically shocked, standing in place and staring at her sister. North Dakota rolled her eyes, and turned back towards Team Fabulous's Mardi Gras float to issue more orders.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_140_mp3**

"Okay... I _know_ my sister has all this figured out. She's really smart! But that doesn't mean she has to be so _mean_ all the time to everybody! And we've only _just_ merged the teams. Doesn't she _want_ to make friends? I know I do! But everybody is too afraid to talk to me now, because of my sister, and... ugh, it's just so god-awful... she's my sister, and I love her, but she _cannot_ be acting like this."

South Dakota

**12:40 PM.**

The work efforts were well underway. For Team Fabulous, North Dakota _continued_ to assert her dominance, though a lot of girls began supporting Virginia and Arizona's points of view instead. However, any words that spoke against North Dakota were quickly halted by Oklahoma, who seemed to be trying really, really hard to be intimidating. It wasn't entirely successful.

Over in Team Freedom, the efforts seemed to be less organized, but more fruitful. Each contestant was putting their own flair into the float, making it... well, very inconsistent, but remarkable nonetheless. Even long-time enemies were forced to shoulder-up to each other and put aside their differences in the common goal of making the best gosh-darned Mardi Gras float the Gulf Coast had ever seen.

"Hey..." New York muttered, filling in a white cloud and standing beside Massachusetts, who was doing the same. Massachusetts gave a little nod, and an even smaller smile. "Hey, York. Do you need something?"

"Nothing. I was just..." New York began, and then hesitated. "Um. I was just wondering... if you'd given some thought to my proposition... of a peace treaty. Y'know, I really don't like this uncomfortable silence between us, and I think our teammates are noticing. We don't have to be - y'know, _best of pals_, but... I just want you as a friend again."

Massachusetts stood very still for a few moments, and then spoke. "New York..." he began, unsure of what to say, "I thought about it. And yeah, I guess... a long silence is no way to treat anybody, but... I'm never forgetting what you did to my friends. _Our_ friends. They're gone now because of you. Connecticut... Maine... Delaware, and New Jersey. But please, York, I'm not interested in any type of alliance-"

"And I'm not proposing that!" New York interrupted, waving his arms frantically. "Not at all! Not at all. I just want us to stop being enemies, and maybe... to consider, y'know... being friends. I just don't know many people on the team, except for Hawaii, and he's okay, I guess..."

Massachusetts nodded in confirmation. "Alright. I guess so, then," he accepted. "But I'm not guaranteeing being your friend. And this still doesn't change what you did. Remember that."

**12:59 PM.**

"Challenge is _over!_" Chris suddenly announced, startling everyone. "Back away, kids, so I can see the floats! I'm ready to _judge!_"

"Hey!" New Mexico shouted, checking his watch. "It's - yo, Chris! It's only been an hour! You said we could have two!"

"Yeah, well, I just discovered that we aren't actually allowed to be in this little back alley here, so we need to make this quick. Team Freedom! Show me your float."

This was completely and utterly unfair. Only an hour had actually gone by, and thus the floats were only half-finished. "Chris, can we _please_ have a little extra time?" Georgia asked, waving her paintbrush frantically at Team Fabulous's half-painted float. Chris gave a shake of the head, and grinned handsomely, as though looking good could magically make all of his problems ago away. "Nope!" he decided instantly. "So! Like I was saying. Team Freedom? Your float."

The boys backed away, and nervously pointed at their half-painted float. Parts of it were splashed artistically, though the entire structure seemed to scream "amateur hour". Nevertheless, Chris put on a scrutinizing expression, and considered Team Freedom's float very carefully. "It's not bad!" he admitted. "At least, not for just one hour of work. But I'll have to compare it with Team Fabulous's to see how it ranks up."

At that prompt, the girls stepped away from their own float. Most of it had been, _surprisingly_, painted pink, though splotches of purple and white showed up in some places. Arizona and California had added a few touches, drawing intricate flowers onto the side of the float. However, Chris was not impressed.

"It's too gaudy!" he decided after a brief hesitation. "And too pink. I give the boys the victory this time. Let's go, everyone!"

"_What?_" North Dakota shouted with a horrified expression. "I - _Chris_, of course _you_ think it's bad, it's pink - get _Blaineley_ here! She'd love it!"

"And I don't, which is all that matters!" Chris yelled, still walking towards the buses. "C'mon, kids! I am _ready_ to make Team Fabulous vote someone off!"

Even a few of the guys were confused at why the girls were the immediate losers. "Uh... yo, I'm not complaining or anything," Hawaii revealed honestly, "but Chris, dude... isn't it a little rushed to just end the challenge like that? We were supposed to be out here for another hour, bro. Neither team finished their float. And we're filmin' a TV show, Chris, it's not like people are gonna be totally against the free publicity-"

"Can't talk, we're going to the voting ceremony!" Chris yelled. "There'll be plenty of time for talking on the buses, kids. And lighten up! This is only the second loss for Team Fabulous out of many to come."

Hawaii's defense of the girls earned him a few sympathetic glances from them, and a tiny wink from California, but no such sympathy came from Chris, who seemed absolutely determined to keep the show moving along. "Into the buses, everyone!" Chris instructed them all, grinning broadly. "We've got another girl to vote off."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_141_mp3**

"Ugh. Chris is such a jerk."

Mississippi

**5:11 PM.**

"We are getting _frightfully_ close to the voting ceremony..." North Dakota muttered, pacing her bunk room. "Hopefully I wasn't seen as _too_ bossy..."

"Are you kidding me?" South Dakota asked incredulously. "You wouldn't stop! North Dakota, reality shows are about having people that _like_ you, not about controlling people! Sis, you've _gotta_ listen to me-"

"Shut up, South," North Dakota immediately ordered. "I need an alliance. I need people who _will_ vote with me. People like Georgia, and Pennsylvania, and Mississippi. But everyone will be voting for me... oh, _damn_..."

South Dakota rolled her eyes, and fell back onto her bed. "It's your fault," she muttered under her breath. North Dakota caught that, and spun around, incredibly outraged. "If _I_ am voted off, then _you_ aren't lasting much longer," North Dakota predicted, seeming absolutely pissed-off. "You _owe_ me, sis. And you're gonna support me whether you like it or not. _Virginia_ is going home. She's much too volatile, and the _way she_... the way she _argued_ against me like she even has the _right_ to do so is not to be tolerated. I just need people to vote with me... _Pennsylvania!_"

Pennsylvania, who'd just entered the room, froze instantly. "You'll vote with me against Virginia, right?" North Dakota asked, cocking her head to one side. "Come _onnn_. Don't you want to get far into the game? Vote with me, and I can guarantee you will!"

A hesitation, and then Pennsylvania briefly nodded, yet continued straight to her bunk. North Dakota sighed. "Okay. So that's three votes total for Virginia. We need more. I'll get... I'll get California on my side, since I'm not sure if Georgia likes Virginia yet or something like that. I've got to take my takeover slowly. This team will be an absolute _machine_ once I'm done with it."

**7:03 PM.**

"Good evening, kids!" Chris greeted, standing on top of a parking garage on a downtown building in New Orleans. For whatever reason, Chris had decided that the night's voting ceremony would take place in one of the coldest, windiest places in the city. "You are standing on top of a parking garage!" Chris told them all unnecessarily. "The votes have been cast, and the candy... is _ready_. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in you, Team Fabulous! I really thought you all could have done better in today's challenge!"

"You. _Specifically_. Made. Us. Lose," North Dakota seethed, though Chris seemed to be a little hard of hearing. "When I call your name, you get a snack!" he shouted. "Road trip candy. That kind of thing. Also, could you kids do me a favor and _stop_ leaving wrappers all over the buses? Roaches can go on road trips, too."

When nobody reacted to that, Chris looked over his list of the team and started calling out names. "Arizona!" he yelled, and tossed a packet of sour Skittles to her. "No votes. California and Mississippi! Nice job, ladies! No votes for either of you!"

He threw them Reese's cups, to their slight dismay at not receiving something more substantial. "Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and South Dakota!" Chris then shouted, and showered those three with candies. "No votes! That ends the contestants who got _zero_ votes. Leaving..."

North Dakota, Virginia, and Georgia remained. "North Dakota!" Chris yelled, and showed her a packet of gum. "No, you're not safe, that was a joke. You've had _quite_ the history on this show! In fact, the other girls may not know this, but you were _supposed_ to be voted off sometime in Act 1! Makes me wonder what would've happened to the show if you _had_ been voted off. Hm. But..."

He then turned to Virginia. "Virginia... you've angered a few people, "Chris revealed. "People with connections. People who don't want to see you oppose them. So... you've gotten quite a few votes tonight. But there's also Georgia." And now, Chris's attention was directed to the southerner. "People still want to see you burn for the challenge you failed them a few nights ago!" Chris shouted. "Y'know, the one where you made a ton of pancakes fall over on _me__?_ However, I am a forgiving guy. Which is why this next candy goes... to..."

There was a very long, drawn-out pause. Chris held the gum tauntingly in front of the three girls.

"...North Dakota," he revealed with a sly grin. "You got two votes, North Dakota. You need to lay low! You're stirring up too many waves. But the last snack of the evening is now going to either Virginia... or Georgia."

He then turned to the cameras. "I realize this is a very tense situation for the viewers at home!" Chris yelled with a big smile. "So, I'm gonna have to go to commercial break! Don't touch the dial! Or... remote. Dial's kind of an old term." He turned to the contestants and asked, "Is dial an old term?" He received nods.

Chris waited just for a few moments to allow the fade-out to happen; it gave time for the special-effects to be later implemented. "And, we're back!" Chris yelled, as though he'd been gone for many years. "You're coming in to the voting ceremony between Virginia and Georgia! One has three votes, and the other... four. The final snack goes... to...'

...

...

...

"...Virginia. Three votes!"

Virginia quite literally gasped, and gracefully caught her allotted bag of Cheetos, forcing Georgia to stand. "I really don't think this is fair," Georgia pointed out as she trudged over to the bus. "I _tried_ to help the team. I was one of the only contestants who did."

North Dakota stared disdainfully over at Virginia, who sat beside Arizona. Clearly, a very potential ally was just voted off for North Dakota. "Bye, Georgia!" Chris said, giving a small wave. "It was almost fun having you!"

Georgia walked over and hugged Mississippi, her best friend on the show. That fact had not been established to the audience until this moment, but now that it had, everyone went "Awww," and went about their business. "Well, guys," Georgia said with a small smile, "it's been fun. I'm glad I got to get past the merge."

Chris saluted her. "Take care in Bacon!" he cried. "Or - Macon, or wherever you're from. Looks like another successful voting ceremony completed! I'm gonna go take a shower." Before he left, though he turned to Team Fabulous, and said, "Er... _try_ not to lose any more challenges, girls. And seriously, don't use pink."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_142_mp3**

"So! It looks like a possible ally of mine was just voted off. _Virginia_ was supposed to go home. What's her _deal_, anyway? Always bugging and fussing and meddling. She's such a meddler. And don't think I didn't notice how she only got three votes. She should've gotten four. Me, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and South Dakota. Not even mentioning California, though I'm not sure I could get through her incessant _droning_... but someone betrayed me. One of them didn't vote with us. And Georgia could have been a _very_ valuable ally. Oh, well. I guess I'm not going to control this team like I did my own back in the day. And by back in the day, I mean a few weeks ago."

North Dakota

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, and Georgia.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Cally Hart, Guest, BabyIt'sBrynled, StayOuttaMyShed, and Winkie4!

**aspiringAnimator** - Yes, yes, I _know_ this was a short chapter compared to my recent ones, though it DOES clock in at 5,000 words, which is about average. I've just been super busy recently, with AP homework and the like! Plus, homecoming is next week, and it's _kind of a big deal_. Not only that, but I've been writing my story for my Secret Santa ahead of time! So... I cut the challenge short just slightly. I really _do_ want to write more for this - I had a little segment between North Dakota and California planned - but I just didn't have the time. And I _pride_ myself in making my update deadlines every update, so I'm not giving that up too soon.

For the person who asked, I'm from Alabama! The character's not at all like me, though, and I'm not going to be biased in how far he gets in the game. Though I do think he's a giant sweetie-pie underneath his hardened, vaguely antagonistic exterior.

Sorry for kicking off Georgia! The other girls are just more interesting to write for. She got to shine briefly in the past few episodes, so I guess that's good enough for her.

Oh yeah! I've decided, because of spoiler possibilities, that the quote at the top of the chapter can be from anywhere in the episode, and not just in the last scene. That's what I was going with up until now, but sometimes it's hard to pick non-spoilery quotes from voting ceremonies, so... the quote can come from anywhere in the episode now.


	34. Yet Another Zombie Movie

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - Alabama, Colorado, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Texas, and Washington.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota**)**, Arizona, California, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 33: YET ANOTHER ZOMBIE MOVIE**

_"Admit it. We're lost." - Massachusetts_

**Sunday, October 26th, 2014. Atlanta, Georgia. 9:02 AM.**

Challenge day. A bright, mid-autumn sun dominated the sky, casting its brilliance upon the multicolored leaves of the trees. The two buses were both parked at a gas station in the suburbs of Atlanta. Off in the distance, skyscrapers touched the bright blue sky, dominating the downtown scene. All the contestants, eighteen in total, milled about; it was just another regular stop on their way to the challenge location. Typically, they all bought candy and other trinkets with the meager amount of money Chris allotted each contestant.

Currently, Chris was on his phone, arguing over some petty thing with the producers. Chef stood guard over the contestants, appearing in particularly good spirits today. You might even say that he was smiling, though he would instantly deny it and throw you back onto your bus. For now, though, everyone excitedly discussed the potential for the next challenge.

"Well, I think we're doin' an eatin' contest!" Mississippi informed California after having spent several days without her best friend, Georgia. "I've been predictin' it ever since the start, and it would be _so_ much fun..."

"Oh, my gosh, _yes!_" California squealed, clapping her hands together. "I mean, I would never do it myself, I've got to watch my curves - did you know Forbes says that having an unbalanced diet can give you wrinkles? It's true, I saw it in a magazine."

"I've never really worried 'bout my form!" Mississippi admitted, though she seemed proud of that fact. "My ma always told me not to care 'bout what other people say about you. And I respect my ma more than anybody else!"

"Oh, _me too,_" California agreed, "my mom is _so_ cool. She's not really at home most of the time, but, um... but she's really nice when she _is_ home! I remember she bought me a car when I was thirteen!"

As California and Mississippi chatted it up, Alabama, Texas, and New Mexico all discussed the possibilities in the SEC championships. Alabama was evidently under the impression that the Crimson Tide would decimate all in its wake, while New Mexico thought it would be cool for a tiny college to suddenly dominate the scene. He held this opinion even as Texas and Alabama both stubbornly told him how impossible that was.

Meanwhile, Washington and Massachusetts were both discussing what the challenge might be; Oregon was left feeling like a third wheel. As that transpired, New York tried his best to befriend Hawaii further in the attempts to get more supporters.

"Well, it's not just that, it's this entire premise of 'put fifty kids together and cart them across the country for half a year' type thing," New York explained, though Hawaii didn't appear to be following. "It's unethical. I mean, sure, we all signed contracts, but still... I just think Chris is a crook."

"Dude, don't say that with him around, bro," Hawaii warned, looking cautiously over to where Chris stood yelling on his phone. "He's got the power to disqualify you. And then you get _no_ chance of gettin' that million bucks. Mannn... what would _I_ do with a million dollars..."

New York considered the question seriously. "It would probably go to my education," he decided. "I really want to go to Columbia University, in New York City. That's where my brother went, and now he's a stock broker."

Hawaii's eyes went wide. "Damn, dude, you'd spend it on _more school?_" he asked incredulously. "I think we get _enough_ as it is. Me, I'm gonna throw a party, buy some cars - uh, get my license, too, I gotta do that - buy a hot tub, buy a helicopter, buy a _country_-"

"I don't actually think one million dollars is enough to purchase an entire country," New York explained, though Hawaii would hear none of it. "Well - I wouldn't spend it on _school_..." Hawaii decided firmly. "Maybe - d'you think a million would be enough to buy one of the Pacific islands? Maybe one in Hawaii? Bro, I'd _kill_ for my own private island..."

Just then, there was a rather abrupt disruption from over where Chris was standing. Everyone turned to stare at him - but he was gone. The phone he was holding was lying on the ground, still active. "Uh, where'd he go?" Arizona asked tentatively, looking around. "Did anybody see where he-"

"Alright, kids, settle down!" Chef ordered, but everyone seemed particularly curious as to where Chris disappeared. "Y'all just get back in the buses, now. I'm _sure_ everything's o-"

Suddenly, a form appeared from behind the gas station, lurching towards the contestants. Upon closer inspection, it looked exactly like Chris, but - it couldn't be, right? "Hey! He's a _zombie!_" Texas suddenly screamed, and picked up a rock from the ground. "Someone _kill him!_"

"_Hey!_" Chef shouted, and kicked open a large plastic chest. "Y'all - pick up one of these airsoft guns! Everyone _stay 'way from the zombies!_ If y'all shoot 'em in the head, they go down! If you get bit, then _you_ go down!"

"Hey, wait - is this a _challenge?_" North Dakota asked, but she was interrupted by the other contestants screaming. "Oh, my gawd, it's _real zombies!_" Mississippi cried, trying her best to lift a heavy airsoft shotgun. "I don't wanna die-"

"Everyone! It's just a _challenge!_" Washington tried to explain, but his plea was drowned out by more panicking. "Hey, guys!" South Dakota suddenly shouted. "Over here! We need to get to the city! Maybe there's people there who can help?"

"No, wait, everyone, Washington's right, this really does sound like a challenge," Massachusetts notified, lifting an assault rifle. "It's perfect for an early Halloween-themed challenge. I think we should just do whatever Chef says, because evidently he's leading us - where'd he go?"

Chef was nowhere to be seen. The eighteen teenagers were stranded. "What do we _do?_" Pennsylvania cried, shakily lifting up a pistol to point at an incoming intern-zombie. The "zombies" all looked like their regular human counterparts, except for the fact that they stumbled as they lurched towards you. "I think maybe we should stay here!" Nebraska suggested, looking fearful, but determined. "Oh, hell, no!" Virginia shouted, backing away from a zombie, yet keeping her finger off the trigger. "We should go to the city, just like South Dakota said. Maybe - maybe it just started - we need to call the police!"

"Oh, my _god_, Virginia, it's _just a challenge_," North Dakota groaned, absolutely stupefied at everyone's fear. "Relax. We all do whatever they told us to do. And let's not all die, alright? Now, kind TV producers, could you tell us what we're supposed to be doing?"_  
><em>

There wasn't a response. "Y'all, we need to get going right about now," Alabama warned. "Challenge or not, we gotta make a decision. Now, I'm all for stayin' here. We ought to go into the gas station."

"Well, _I_ want to _survive!_" Arizona cried, shoving Chris away from her. "And I say we go to the city!"

Alabama seemed ready to argue with Arizona some more, but Oregon shoved the two apart, and cried, "Then the _girls_ can go to the city and the _guys_ can stay here! Simple solution!"

Everyone froze. That didn't actually seem too bad of a plan. "Fine. But if y'all die, it'll be your fault," Alabama warned, and waved the guys to follow him. "Into the gas station, y'all! We can board up the windows in there!"

"To the city!" North Dakota cried, finally taking aim and shooting Chris in the head with her rifle. He fell to the ground with a very human-sounding yelp, but did not stir. "It'd be stupid to stay here, anyways. Let's go!"

**9:26 AM.**

"Put them boards up over the windows!" Texas ordered, actually sounding more excited than terrified. "Oh, y'all, this is so cool, it's like we're in the Walking Dead. Alright, I'm gonna be Rick!"

"Shut up and _help us!_ Don't just stand there ordering people around!" Colorado yelled, lifting a heavy wooden plank as a number of intern zombies tried to get in. "If someone gets _bitten_ or something - or whatever's happening - then it'll be because we didn't take the proper precautions!"

"I think we need to worry about ammunition," Massachusetts muttered worriedly. "It might take a lot of what we have, and the only ammo we _do_ have is all in our guns. If we run out, it'll be fast."

"He's right!" New York yelled, seeing his opportunity. "Guys, Massachusetts is right - we need to look around! If this _is_ today's challenge, then there should be plastic pellets stored somewhere around here, and cartridges, and maybe more guns!"_  
><em>

As a large number of the guys started digging around the empty gas station, looking for items, Alabama stared solemnly out the window and muttered, "I hope the girls are alright."

"Are you kidding, Bama?" Texas asked, grunting as he shoved a metal shelf in front of a large window. "If they all go down, then _we_ survive!"

Alabama stared at Texas, reproach playing in his eyes. "Tex. My _girlfriend_ is on that team." Texas then suddenly realized his mistake, and nervously scratched the back of his head, mumbling, "Oh. Yeah. Sorry, man, I didn't mean to... um... she'll probably be fine, Bama. Don't worry about it."

The banging around the gas station grew louder; the zombies were growing quite insistent now, though none of them seemed able to break the glass and enter. "Stick close to me..." Washington murmured to Oregon, lifting his assault rifle. "If anything happens, find me. We'll get out of this together."

Texas, pausing in the middle of placing another heavy plank on the window, stared at Washington and Oregon. "That's gay," he muttered under his breath, though it seemed to be more of an insult, rather than an actual, literal statement. At first, the two didn't notice Texas until he said that. "Excuse me?" Oregon asked, politely confused. "Did you just call us gay?"

"Uh... no, I called huggin' up on each other like that gay," Texas reiterated, somewhat taken aback. "Don't get so offended by it, y'all-"

"Because we are," Washington then said, looking down on Texas figuratively, being quite a bit shorter than him. "And if you don't like that, you can just deal with it. I don't care what your parents taught you, but you won't treat us any differently from the rest of your teammates."

When Washington finished talking, the store was completely silent. His words were heard from everyone. Oregon seemed terrified, and stepped away from Washington, as though that would magically remove his label. Nobody spoke for the longest time.

"Uh... maybe we should focus on getting away from these zombies," Colorado decided, nervously glancing between Washington and Texas. "Or - or actors, or whatever these things are. Anybody got a plan?"

"The plan is we _stop_ standing around like this, gawking at each other," New York shouted. "Their sexuality doesn't matter. Texas, _quit staring_."

Just then, Alabama appeared beside Texas, and said, "Y'know, y'all are goin' to hell for bein' gay. It's your choice."

"Oh, my god, can we _please_ not get into religious matters now?" Washington yelled exasperatedly, throwing his arms into the air. "We were doing so well. Three and a half months, with nobody mentioning anything about religion! And _now_ we're gonna break that record?"

"He's right, though," Texas pointed out. "Y'all are gonna burn in hell. Y'all chose to be gay, and that's wrong."

Washington groaned, and asked, "_How_ do you know that's wrong? Give me one verified source of scientific evidence that states that it's unethical to like your own gender."

"Because the bible-"

"_Guys!_" Massachusetts shouted, pointing at the front doors of the gas station. "We _really_ don't need a religious debate right now! This is the _worst time_ for this! Can we please not do this right now?"

"I didn't _choose_ to be gay," Oregon whined, tugging at his shirt nervously. Texas seemed ready to say something that would oppose that statement, but was interrupted by a rather loud banging at the front door; the interns had managed to bust the lock after almost ten minutes of solid pounding. "Everyone! _The door!_" Hawaii yelled, running up to it. "We _have_ to keep them out of here, or we _lose the challenge!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_143_mp3**

"Alright, I don't really share my buddy Tex's anti-gay-ness, but he's my buddy, so I'm _gonna_ support him. And besides, that kid - Washington, or whoever he was - I'm not even sure why he's here! Ain't Washington the capital of America? He's not a state! I bet he's one of the producer's kids."

Alabama

**9:31 AM.**

"So... where _are_ we?" Pennsylvania asked nervously as the eight girls trekked deeper into the city. "I mean, I know we're in Atlanta, but... do we have a destination?"

"We find help," Virginia informed her, looking around for any other people. "But I don't really see anybody right now. It's... kind of deserted."

"Because Chris cleaned out this entire area!" North Dakota yelled, waving her arms about like a lunatic. "Don't you all see? This is _obviously_ a challenge. Which is _why_ we shouldn't be running around like this! We _need_ to find out where the producers _want_ us to go. A landmark. Something. Anything."

"Or... this is a _real_ zombie apocalypse," Arizona muttered lowly, eyes fearful. "And our only hope of surviving lies in sticking together as a team and overcoming our differences."

...

"Yeah, right..." Oklahoma mumbled, in strict agreement with North Dakota. "This is a challenge and we all need to do as North Dakota says. And she says we're supposed to do whatever the _producers_ want us to do."

Just then, Virginia shouted, and pointed towards the end of the street. "Up ahead!" she cried. "There's a - I think that's a zombie!"

Indeed, it was. One lone "zombie" lurched towards the group of girls. It actually looked like another intern, though it was just another threat to the girls. "Everyone stay back!" Virginia warned, and lifted her sniper rifle to aim at the zombie. "I've got this. Remember, make sure to line up your shot... and don't hold your breath... and..."

POP. The zombie fell, even though it was about thirty yards away. "Nice shot!" Arizona complemented with a grin. "I'm not sure if I would've made that."

"This way, everybody!" Virginia cried, pointing towards a skyscraper in the distance, which had large spotlights set up on the top. "We should go to _that_ building! It looks like there's help at the top!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_144_mp3**

"Ugh. So, it looks like Virginia _has_ taken up the lead on this team. The only person who's really supporting _me_ is Oklahoma. Not even my own _sister_ is that adamant about helping me! What's her _deal_, anyway? It's almost like she's _glad_ I'm not in power anymore. Well, whatever. I need to build up my allies."_  
><em>

North Dakota

**9:35 AM.**

"Hey, California," North Dakota greeted as Team Fabulous made its way downtown. "How're you liking your time on Team Fabulous so far?"

California seemed a little bit surprised, yet pleased to find North Dakota talking to her. "Oh, it's so nice," she revealed. "I'm loving the bus. I think the problem with Team Victory was that there were too many boys on the team! Makes me wonder how Team Freedom is doing, with a team of just guys..."

"Yeah..." North Dakota muttered, clearly rethinking her strategies in allying California. "Um, sure... hey, California... have you made any _friends_ on this team yet?"

The question seemed surprising to California, who pondered it seriously. "Yeah!" she exclaimed, waving her pistol haphazardly. "Mississippi's nice! Louisiana was, too, before she was voted off... and Arizona is nice, she was on my team! And South-"

"Listen, this is some friendly advice..." North Dakota advised, creeping closer to California. "You can't trust everybody. You're gonna need someone to _really_ stick by your side. And those girls don't have the _backbone_ to get through this game. Let me tell you, the boys will most likely _dominate_ the physical-based challenges, like it or not. And when it comes time for voting... don't you want someone to have your back?"

California seemed somewhat put-off, and worried, and inched away from North Dakota. "I - I mean, I guess..." she admitted. "I hadn't really thought about it. We're a team, though, we shouldn't have to have any kind of alliance! On Team Victory, we-"

"_Forget_ about Team Victory," North Dakota interrupted, waving her hand like it didn't matter. "The games are getting more serious now. There's less than twenty of us left. We're not in the finals, no... but people are starting to become more competitive. So... I want your support."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_145_mp3**

"Okay, I don't really understand why that girl thinks everyone's out to kill each other. That's just not true! Everyone I know on this team is nice, more or less. But maybe she has a point? Like, wow, I _have_ gotten far in this show! So... I don't know. I don't really get very good _vibes_ from her, y'know?"

California

**9:42 AM.**

"Alright, screw this," Massachusetts decided as another zombie joined the dozens pounding on the gas station windows. "We've got to move. We _can't_ just sit around here hoping they won't get in, people!"

"He's right," Washington decided determinedly, avoiding Texas's glare. "We can't just sit here. Does anybody know of any way we could... I don't know... get out of here? A ladder to the roof, maybe? Or an underground passage?"

For a moment, nobody responded, and only glanced around helplessly, as though doing so might suddenly reveal an escape path that they hadn't noticed before. Nevertheless, after a minute or two, New York pointed at a hatch on the floor and shouted, "Hey, guys! I see a way through here! I'm not really sure where it goes, though..."

"That's good enough," Massachusetts acknowledged, nodding and adjusting his glasses. "Right. Who's coming with us?"

Silence. It didn't even seem like New York wanted to tag along, as he merely peered down into the pitch-black passage with fear. "Uh... sorry, but I'd rather be in the light than down in there," Colorado muttered, and Hawaii nodded fiercely in agreement. When New York saw Hawaii nod, he exclaimed, "Yeah, I'm gonna stay here, too. Sorry, Massachusetts!"

Texas and Alabama didn't seem to adamant about climbing down a dark hole with Massachusetts and Washington, so the two of them stayed. In then end, it was Nebraska and Oregon who finally decided to come along with the two. "I can do this," Nebraska insisted, though he seemed more passionate about proving himself than about climbing into a pitch-black hole. "Okay," Washington said with a sigh. "So. Six of us want to stay above the surface... and the others want to go down there. This can't _possibly_ end poorly for everyone."

As the four descended down the ladder into the abyss, Oregon nervously muttered, "So... are you guys _sure_ we're supposed to go down here? Because what if this is actually a challenge, and we're supposed to just hold out in the gas station?"

"Well, I think we'll have the upper hand if we get _away_ from that place," Washington replied, not looking down, and simply grasping the ladder with all his strength. "Massachusetts did you bring a flashlight?"

Massachusetts tried shaking his head in response, but realized it wouldn't be seen in the dark. "No," he whispered, but a fourth voice high above them said, "I do!"

"Excellent, Nebraska," Washington said. "We get down here... and then we figure out where to go. Shouldn't be that hard, right?"

Unfortunately, when the four teens had finally reached the bottom of the ladder, it was impossible to tell where they were without any kind of light. Even when Nebraska switched on the tiny device, its beam was too thin to accurately discern where they all were.

"I... _think_ we're in some kind of sewer," Massachusetts suggested, squinting at the slick, grimy walls and listening for the sounds of trickling water. "Though we could be in some kind of deep cellar. Or septic tank, god forbid..."

"Keep moving," Washington advised, stepping forward into the darkness. "We get back up to the surface at the first chance we get."

**9:58 AM.**

With a loud bang, the eight girls of Team Fabulous smashed their way onto the roof of a moderately tall office building in downtown Atlanta. For most of the journey here, they hadn't noticed any more zombies, apart from a few stragglers. Their journey up the grand building had mainly been inside an elevator, because the doors to the staircases were all blocked. Once up on the roof, though, it became clear that there was nowhere else to go.

"_Now_ what?" North Dakota asked, whipping her head around to rapidly switch between members of her team and the desolate landscape around her. "We're at the top of some dumb building. We don't know where to go next. I have to _pee_."

"D'you think _whinin'_ about everything's gonna make it better?" Virginia asked seriously. "Because, last time I checked, it won't. Now suck it up. We got to the top of a building! Maybe now we can-"

"_ATTENTION TEAM FABULOUS!_"

A huge roaring sound became evident on one side of the building. The girls rushed to the edge, and looked down, to see a helicopter hovering up to greet them. Hanging out the side, Chris stood triumphantly, sunglasses majestically glinting reflected light. "Hello, girls!" he yelled. "Just a quick update! I am _not_ a zombie!"

"I _knew it!_" North Dakota screeched. "I knew this was a challenge!"

"Right you are, North Dakota!" Chris confirmed with a broad smile. "But girls, you are in the _wrong place!_ Your destination is... _there!_"

Chris pointed below him, and off into the distance. There, a huge target painted with a giant, red X was situated in a large park. "That is where the two teams will be meeting!" Chris told them all. "First team to get there wins the challenge! Unfortunately... there will be _quite_ a large number of dangers along the way. Mainly zombie related!"

The girls groaned. Of course, they wouldn't be able to get away on this challenge with just killing a couple zombies. "This challenge is sponsored by AMC's The Walking Dead!" Chris then yelled, smiling at the cameras. "Catch it every Sunday night on AMC! Of course, it doesn't release new episodes _twice_ a week like another particular show... but it's clear they've tried, nonetheless!"

Chris was then apparently interrupted by a loud yelling into his earpiece. "Alright, _alright!_" he yelled. "_Fine!_ CampTV does _not_ hold the same opinions as the host of The Fifty State Roadtrip, Chris McLean. That is all."

The helicopter began to hover higher, and farther away from the girls. "Good luck, girls!" Chris yelled, receding into the horizon. "I'll see you all once you get there!"

**10:02 AM.**

"I'm starting to regret staying up here," New York admitted immediately after shooting a zombie in the head. "At least it's safe down there."

"_Safe?_" Hawaii grunted, after nearly being swiped by an interns outstretched hand. "We haven't heard back from them for like twenty minutes now. Either they've found a way out by now, or they're dead. Either way, they're gone for good."

"You don't _seriously_ think this isn't a challenge, right?" New York asked, as though he himself doubted the answer. "I mean, if this wasn't a challenge, then these zombies wouldn't be going down like this just from some _pellets_..."

Hawaii shrugged, and admitted, "I dunno. They could just be going down from the sleep stuff they put on the pellets. Who knows? Yo, pass me another clip, I'm almost all out with this gun. These pieces of shit aren't work-"

"_HELLO, TEAM FREEDOM!_" a voice cried. It was Chris, amplified by a megaphone, and residing in a hovering helicopter high above the gas station. "What the hell...?" New Mexico muttered, and peered out the window. "Hey, guys, it's _Chris!_ Haha! _Sweet! _The dude is _back!_"

"Yes!" Chris responded with glee. "Team Freedom, I am here to update you on your objective! Your objective is exactly _northwest of here_, two miles away! Looks like you've got a lot of walking to do!"

New York groaned, and leaned against a wall of the store. "Can you tell your interns to leave us alone so we _can_ leave?" he asked. "Or should we just sneak out using the passage four of us took earlier?"

There was a long pause from Chris. "Uh. What?" he eventually yelled. "Hold on, tell me about this passage, New York. Is everyone in the gas station?"

"No. Massachusetts, Washington, the other Team Victory kid, and the other Team Dakota guy all left in some hatch. I'm not sure where they went. We haven't heard back from them."

Again, Chris didn't respond for the longest time. When he _did_ reply, his voice was shaky and scared. "Okay. Boys? You all need to get out of there," he declared. "I'll get the interns to stay away from the store so you six can head to the objective. In the meantime, I need to - _jesus_ - I need to contact a... a search-and-rescue team, because I've got _four teenagers wandering the sewer system of Atlanta_. Oh, man, I _really_ don't need this on a Sunday..."

**10:12 AM.**

"Admit it. We're lost."

"No, we're not, Washington. We're fine! Just keep going forward!"

"We haven't seen a single ladder, or - or a method to get back up to the surface. We're lost. We abandoned the others. Oregon, you agree with me, right?"

"Um - I mean, yeah - it's kind of scary down here-"

"See? And Nebraska does, too, right?"

Nebraska walked ahead of the other three, holding a flashlight determinedly and staring off down the long, slick tunnel. It was pitch black, and the only way the kids knew where they were going was because of his guiding light. "We move forward. I'm sure there's an exit passage," he reassured them. Massachusetts glanced at Washington with a small smile, and said, "See, Washington? We're _okay_. Just follow Nebraska."

The four trekked in silence for a while; the only noise they could hear was the steady trickle of water running through the passage, and the sound of their shoes squishing down on the slick surface, lightly echoing throughout the sewer's caverns. Eventually, Massachusetts just said, "Screw it. I'm going back."

"No! You can't!" Washington protested, looking panicked. "You've gotta stay here. We're already too far from the entrance. If you go back, you'll just get lost-"

"It's a straight path back to the entrance, Washington! I think I'll be fine-"

Just then, a shriek was heard from behind them, back from where they came. Their eyes all went wide. "Oh, my gawsh..." Oregon muttered, stepping away. "No. No. Guys, we've got to go forward, we can't go back-"

Suddenly, Nebraska yelped, and almost fell down. "Something hit my face!" he cried. "It felt like - like string or something - _I've got to get out of here_-"

"It was probably just a cobweb, Nebraska!" Washington told him, struggling to keep himself calm, but Nebraska had already run off ahead, dropping his flashlight onto the floor with a loud clatter. "Shit. I'll go after him!" Washington yelled, scooping up the flashlight. "You two stay there!"

"Fuck that!" Massachusetts cried, running ahead and overtaking Washington. "I'm getting out of here!"

Washington was forced to run back, grab Oregon by the hand, and sprint forward down the tunnel, away from the voices behind them.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_146_mp3**

"I've decided. I am _never_ doing anything like this for my team again. _Screw_ Halloween, and screw this entire month. I _tried_ - I tried to show to my team that I could be somebody! That I could... I don't know... I just felt like, if I didn't do something, then I would be voted off. And I'm so far already! I missed my chance to stand up to North Dakota, so I _have_ to do something prominent in this new team. _Right?_"

Nebraska

**10:36 AM.**

"We _made it!_" North Dakota screamed, jumping up and down on a huge white sheet in the middle of Hurt Park, near downtown Atlanta. "We made it before the boys did! That means we _won!_" Chris, who was walking near her and speaking loudly on his cell phone, gave North Dakota a dirty glare and reminded her, "The challenge is only over when _everyone_ is back here. And, last time I checked, one of our eighteen contestants _still_ somewhere in the sewers of Atlanta. This is such a stupid challenge... sponsorships are _not_ worth it..."

"I have to say, I'm a little surprised you got permission to use parts of this city for this challenge," New York commented, after arriving with the rest of Team Freedom a few minutes after the girls did. "Just how much money _was_ this partnership between the two shows...?"

Chris groaned, and muttered, "I don't want to talk about it. Just know that this _entire_ challenge was a huge failure, and that the guys are going to the voting booths tonight. Washington! Where's Nebraska?"

Washington appeared, with Oregon at his side. He's arrived with Massachusetts and Oregon just a few minutes previously. "I told you! I don't know!" he explained exasperatedly. "The last time we saw him was in the tunnel. We were walking forward, and we heard some kind of weird yelling behind us-"

"That was the rescue squad!"

"Yeah, I _realize_ that now, Chris - and he ran forward. I tried to catch him, but he just kept going on ahead, even though he didn't have his flashlight. Eventually, I just met back up with Massachusetts and Oregon, and we found a door that let up to the surface, and then the cops found us, and then-"

"I can figure out the rest, thanks," Chris interrupted, holding up a hand. "Okay. So now we just hope that Nebraska isn't _dead_ or something!"

"This sucks..." Texas muttered to Alabama, as rescue workers ran everywhere across the scene, preparing for the worst. "This could'a been the _best_ challenge out of all of 'em. But _no_. That kid - _Nebraska_, or whoever he is - _he_ made us lose the challenge."

"Uh, all the girls got here before we did," Alabama reminded, squinting around the park. "So we would'a lost anyways."

"Well - that don't matter!" Texas argued, arms folded and glaring at everybody, who all seemed to be just milling about at the moment. "He's makin' us stand around like this! If you ask me, that's grounds for elimination."

Alabama merely shrugged in response, content with watching everything go down. So far, there was no trace of Nebraska in sight anywhere. He was as elusive as an invisible ninja, draped behind an impenetrable veil of mystery, submerged in the irrefutable crypt of the abstruse, unknown, and downright-

"We've found him!" a fireman yelled, waving a radio around. "We found him - he's somewhere in sector A3 of the tunnels - right under the Comcast building!"

"_Yes!_" Chris shouted, raising his hands to the sky. "Oh, thank goodness, I'm not fired - he's not _dead_, is he?"

"No, I've got a crew of firemen down there, they say he's been stuck for-"

"Oh, good," Chris breathed. "Good. I'm not fired." It seemed Chris was more glad about the fact that his job was secure than in the simple knowledge that one of his contestants was alive. "Bring him up back to us!" Chris ordered. "We need to get this episode back on its feet... and I get the feeling that the _voting ceremony_ will do _just that._"

**7:06 PM.**

A waxing crescent moon hung above the city of Atlanta. Chris stood menacingly before the ten guys of Team Freedom, wielding a clipboard and a hat filled with the various names the contestants had voted for. "The votes are in!" Chris announced, after having spent the past few minutes rummaging around and counting up the votes. "One of you is going home tonight. That's a ten percent chance. Makes you feel good, don't it?"

Nobody responded to that; only a heavy sense of oppression weighed down upon them all. Tensions were high for the first time on this team; they hadn't expected to lose a challenge so quickly. Nevertheless, here they were, so... might as well get it over with, right?

"Colorado!" Chris yelled suddenly, tossing a package of candy corn to him. "No votes for you, bro. Next up... Hawaii! You get some candy corn, too! It's kind of all we bought at the store, because _apparently_ the only thing candy stores sell around Halloween time is, for some _crazy reason_, Halloween candy."

...

"Ahem. Hm. Anyway. Massachusetts and New Mexico. You were the last two to receive no votes!"

That left more than half the team: Texas, Washington, Oregon, New York, Nebraska, and Alabama. They'd all received at least one vote. Chris grinned devilishly, and announced, "The _rest_ of you have been voted for! Scary to think about, huh? The next bag of candy corn goes... to..."

...

"Alabama. You got just one vote from one particular contestant! Keep it up, dude."

...

"Oregon. One vote from someone. Here's some candy corn for your troubles."

...

"New York. You got _one_ vote, just like the last two. Candy corn for you. Try not to eat it all before the voting ceremony's over, alright?"

New York seemed slightly offended by Chris's jest. "Are you saying I eat a lot?" he accused, glaring at the host. Chris shrugged. "I'm just trying to provide some light-hearted banter!" Chris revealed, though by experience, this would likely prove to not be entirely true. "But regardless. We've still got three contestants remaining."

Washington, Nebraska, and Texas all sat, awaiting their candy corn. However... there were only two bags. The mystery deepens. The puzzle grows more complex. The cryptic riddle becomes increasingly... cryptic. "The penultimate bag of candy corn goes to..."

...

"Washington. You got one vote, brother. Enjoy the candy while it lasts."

It was down to Texas and Nebraska now. "Nebraska, you've gotten yourself lost down a deep, spooky tunnel!" Chris informed him, grinning maliciously. "And subsequently caused everyone to wait around for half an hour while we fished you out of there! However, you did _not_ lose the challenge for everyone; at least, not you _only_. But Texas, you've caused quite the stir in the team as of late! Your vaguely antagonistic, yet good-intentioned ideas have granted you the animosity of a couple of your teammates. But... the surviving contestant of Team Freedom is..."

...

...

...

"Texaaas! You got two votes, while Nebraska got four! Say goodbye, Nebraska!"

"Aw, come on..." Nebraska muttered, standing up and surveying his team. "Like Chris said. My actions had nothing to do with our loss!"

"Yeah, but you made everyone wait around for an hour..." Alabama reminded, avoiding Nebraska's stare. "But sorry, dude. And if it helps, I didn't vote for you-"

"No. I don't really want your sympathy," Nebraska decided, looking over his teammates. "Minnesota gave me a job. I was supposed to take down Team Dakota for good. Or, at least, North Dakota, and maybe her sister. But I never got my chance. I chickened out."

"Dude, what are you even talking about?" Chris asked, giving Nebraska a little push towards the bus. "Your ride is waiting. You need to go pack up so you can get out of here. We don't need any grand speeches."

"I'm _monologing here!_" Nebraska yelled, a bit annoyed at Chris's interruption. "Let me have my moment! I mean, I never even _got_ any attention on the show up until now! And I guess that attention is costing me the game, huh?"

There was a rather long pause. Nobody seemed really interested in what Nebraska had to say, but the kid seemed quite passionate about expressing himself on his last few moments on the show. "It's like Utah said. I failed my team," Nebraska told them all. "I could have become a hero. That could've been me! But I was _never_ the one to take action... I've always been the one to quietly support it. I think to myself, 'Maybe someone else will do it instead of me!' But eventually, that kind of thinking won't take you far. I've learned that from experience."

"Oh, my god, kid," Chris moaned, and starting pushing Nebraska towards the bus. "Get going. We don't have many more minutes of airtime, and if we try to include your big speech then we'll have an issue in editing."

"Wait! I - we haven't even gotten to the part about me and Minnesota, and my slow, yet determined opposition to North Dakota!"

"Don't care, Nebraska! You're going home. As far as I'm concerned, you're not even a character anymore!"

"No! Chris, I have a story arc and everything! You can't just throw me away like this!"

"Yes, I can! Now, _pack!_" Chris ordered, slamming the bus door on Nebraska. "Jeez! For a kid who had, like, _two lines_ for the entirety of the first act, he sure does like to talk. Anyways! For those of you watching at home, Nebraska has just been voted off! Who will it be next time? Find out _right here_ on _CampTV_, on Wednesdays and weekends, at 8/7 central! This episode was sponsored by AMC."

And with that, the thirty-third episode ended.

**8:16 PM.**

Two buses quietly made their way west, towards the Great Plains of America. A sleepy autumn moon steadily rose, casting its illumination over the bright orange trees of western Georgia. All was peaceful, in the aftermath of yet another challenge on the show. Most of the contestants happily enjoyed their allocations of candy, as they watched some big football game on the television. Life on the show was good, if you ignored all the drama that typically went on.

For instance, one of Team Freedom's bunk rooms was now missing one contestant. The upper bunk he once inhabited would now be empty for the rest of the entire show. And slowly... a conspiracy began to form between the remaining residents of that room.

"Okay," Washington began, standing beside Oregon, and facing Massachusetts. "After today's events, I think it'd be an incredibly good idea for the three of us to ally. Officially, I mean. If Nebraska was here, I'd probably include him, but... unfortunately, he's not."

Massachusetts nodded in agreement, though hesitantly at first. "Alright," he accepted. "The two of you seem like okay dudes. And we're gonna have to share this room, so it's not like we _won't_ support each other eventually. Besides, New York keeps trying to be my friend again, and I really need some people to back me up on that..."

"Don't worry, I'll see what I can do," Washington assured Massachusetts. "He just wants support, just like you. Maybe, if New York proves himself, we could let him into the alliance-"

"No. God no, Washington-"

"He seems nice!" Oregon announced suddenly. "He talked to me a bunch on Saturday about what colleges I want to go to."

Washington raised his eyebrows, and pointed at his boyfriend. "See?" Washington asked. "Oregon says New York is nice. Case: closed."

Massachusetts chuckled, and eventually said, "I just don't want to become some sort of third wheel between you two. It's clear you're both, uh... protective of each other. And I don't want to get in between anything."

"You think _you're_ the third wheel?" Oregon asked, lowering his voice and pretending as though Washington couldn't hear him. "Washington talks to _you_ now! I'd be jealous, if I didn't know for sure that we're together."

"Okay, okay, enough," Washington said quickly, hushing Oregon. "No, I'm not 'ditching you' for Massachusetts. This is just an official declaration of alliance. Though, remember, we _can't_ let any of the others know about this. If anybody else finds out that we're working together, and possibly against everyone else-"

"Of course," Massachusetts acknowledged. "It'd be hell if people found out we've already made an alliance."

"Which is _why_ this needs to stay on the down low," Washington insisted, staring seriously at Massachusetts and Oregon. "Alright? Now, I like you two, and I think we can go far with this."

Oregon gasped suddenly, and asked, "Oh! Can we have a name for our team? Like... Team Gay Pride or something!"

...

"Because we're all-"

"Yeah, I get it," Washington said, wincing slightly. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, Oregon - I am _psyched_ that you're so much more open about yourself now. But, uh... maybe something classier than that?"

Oregon seemed seriously let down, yet didn't press the issue. "I dunno. Team Science?" Massachusetts suggested. "I don't think it really matters."

"Team Science it is, then," Washington decided with a small smile. "Awesome. Remember, keep this on the down low. I can totally see the three of us in the final three."

Of course, as on any reality show, it was nearly impossible to start any kind of alliance without a certain someone listening at the door. Eavesdropping, if you will, and taking close note of their plans.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_147_mp3**

"Looks like those three are making an alliance. _Wow_. Already. I predicted this would happen, but not _this_ soon. So. What should I do? Evidently, Massachusetts doesn't think he needs me anymore. He thinks he can just meet other people and call it a day! 'Oh, I'm going to the final three!' he says. Yeah, well... so am _I_. I need to make Massachusetts jealous. I need to show him that I am _worthy_ of his trust. Screw peace treaties. I need to - _Hawaii_. I'll - I'll befriend Hawaii, and then Massachusetts will get pissed, and... and want me to join _his_ alliance! Foolproof."

New York

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, and Nebraska.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **BlueIce RedFire, Guest, and StayOuttaMyShed!

**aspiringAnimator** - FINALLY got finished with this chapter, but on time nonetheless. Bleh, it's just been so busy over the past few days, and it's only gonna get worse this week. Schoolwork, AP, writing for _this _thing, et cetera... you know what my problem is? I keep feeling like I'm not writing _enough_. Like, this chapter is 7,300 words, which is above my average, but I feel like it's lacking in content. Is it? Let me know. Constructive criticism is what keeps me chugging through this thing like a locomotive, wildly churning out of control and right off the metaphorical crevice of insanity.

Sorry about Nebraska. He filled an important role early in the fic, which was helping Minnesota oppose North Dakota, but after that... he never really amounted to anything else very important. So, he was an early vote-off for Team Freedom. It was the obvious choice, after all, and it was predicted incredibly accurately by one of my readers, who also accurately predicted the challenge for today. _Damn_ you and your witchcraft.

By the way! There's gonna be a Halloween special, to be uploaded on Friday! Which means, that'll take place instead of the weekend update! So don't be alarmed when you notice there hasn't been an update next Saturday/Sunday; it will have already been uploaded Friday. However, that ALSO means I only have two days to write that special Halloween chapter, as opposed to the three/four days I typically get. Here's to hoping I don't go insane!


	35. Westward Ho

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - **(**Massachusetts, Oregon, and Washington**)**, Alabama, Colorado, Hawaii, New Mexico, New York, and Texas.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota**)**, Arizona, California, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 34: WESTWARD HO**

_"Those are coyotes, butt-breath!" - Alabama_

**Wednesday, October 29th, 2014. Fort Kearny, Nebraska. 8:08 AM.**

Two buses. Two teams. Two alliances.

The same one maniacal host, absolutely bent on whittling down what was once a cast of fifty all the way to less than twenty, and even further. Friendships, alliances, denouncements, and rivalries were made over the course of almost four months on the show. Power dynamics roared on, as contestants pushed against one another in the hopes of international fame and monetary gain. Fan websites were dedicated to the investigation of the half-year-long show, poking through every possible pairing, outcome, re-imagination - you name it. Yes, fans were even shipping the most obscure couples together, like Alaska and Wyoming, not even to _mention_ the certainly_ boundless_ possibilities between Vermont and Missouri. Outside of the show, those ex-contestants grew to be quite famous in their hometown for the time being, despite having lost very early on in the game.

For the contestants still on the show, though, the fans waited with baited breath, watching for the next one to fall. As the year went on, The Fifty State Roadtrip began to surge in popularity once more, as bewildered Alabamians and Californians discovered that their state was still in the game. CampTV became one of the most talked about TV channels of the year, even though it boasted other "quality" shows like "Babies on the Runway", "Cheer Moms", and "Super Teen Reality: Season 3".

But this was all unknown to those actually on those two buses. After all, they didn't have any actual access to electronic devices, so they were completely cut off from the outside world. For example, Oregon's Twitter account had over eighty thousand followers, even though he hadn't posted a tweet since early July.

As Team Fabulous's bus paved the way to the plains of Nebraska, Arizona and Virginia met for what seemed like the umpteenth time that week. "We need to talk," Arizona said determinedly, and Virginia nodded in agreement.

"So. It's clear that North Dakota has an alliance with her sister and Oklahoma," Arizona discussed, speaking quietly with Virginia in Arizona's bunk room. Typically, this room was unoccupied; most of the other girls were in the main room as usual. "She might have more people in the alliance. I'm not sure."

"I know for a fact that Pennsylvania's involved," Virginia claimed. "Though to what extent, I've got no clue. But that girl - North Dakota - she sees me as an enemy! Just 'cause I don't agree with _everything_ she says."

"Told you. Sociopathic behavior," Arizona said with a sigh. "Kind of sucks that you have to share a bunk room with her."

Virginia bowed her head low, and muttered, "Tell me about it... there are _so_ many things that bother her. I'm not allowed to sleep on my back anymore, because she says I _snore_, even though I've never heard from _anybody_ that I do. And I can't talk to her without her letting me know that I can. And I'm not even allowed to hang pictures, or drawings on my wall, even though I could do that back in Team America! She's just really controlling."

The two sat in silence for a moment, both thinking the same thing. "Have... um... have you ever considered making an alliance against North Dakota?" Arizona whispered. "I mean... if _nobody_ stands up to her, then this team might just become something like Team Dakota became. And that would suck-"

"Yes, I've thought about it," Virginia admitted, cutting off Arizona before she could elaborate. "A bunch of times. She _did_ offer me a position on her alliance, though-"

"You - _what?_ Virginia, you wouldn't actually be thinking about joining her, would you?"

"No. Of course not," Virginia reassured her friend. "But it just illustrates my point that... if _we_ make an alliance... then that just makes us as bad as her. All we _really_ need to do is rally up team hatred of her, which shouldn't be hard. The only thing I'm worried about is how far her powers extend in our team... like, what about that southern girl? And California?"

"Not California," Arizona decided sternly. "I know her too well. She's too nice of a person. There's no way she would become friends with someone like North Dakota."

"But you said it yourself," Virginia argued. "North Dakota is manipulative. For all we know, California is her best friend or something. All I'm saying is... we don't _know_ how powerful North Dakota is. And before we do anything else, we should find out."

**10:16 AM.**

The two buses continued to roar along the Nebraskan scenery, towards the southern border. Heavy gray clouds threatened rain, or worse. Miles of flat prairie land extended as far as the eye could see; every now and then, the buses passed a cute, tiny town. As conspiracy developed in Team Fabulous, the same could be said for Team Freedom. It'd only been a little over a week in the new teams, and contestants were already formulating alliances and recruiting members.

"Okay. I think we should consider adding new people to the alliance," Washington revealed to Massachusetts and Oregon on the morning of the day's challenge. "Having an alliance of only three people is _safe_, but... it won't get us very far if someone else starts one with half the team in it. Who are some possible candidates? Hey - what about New York?"

Massachusetts flinched, and leaned against the ladder of his bunk bed. "Yeahhh... see, the think about York, is..." he began, "he's really only trying to be your friend so that he can stay in the game. Trust me, I've learned from experience. And when things get too hot to handle, which is never, he'll be the first to desert us."

"Okay. Point taken," Washington said with a tiny sigh. "So... not New York. What about Colorado?"

"He's kind of mean..." Oregon mumbled, looking down at his shoes. "Like, he keeps telling people he can 'do what he wants' now. Hey... maybe we should invite New Mexico in. What's he been up to?"

Washington blinked. "New Mexico?" he asked vaguely. "You mean - oh, wow. I'd completely forgotten about him. What _is_ he up to? And Hawaii, what about him?"

Massachusetts grew grim, eyeing the door suspiciously. "I know New Mexico's made friends with the southerners," he muttered. "And I think the southerners are nice guys-"

"They aren't."

"-but yeah, we shouldn't think about allying them," Massachusetts continued. "And it's clear you've got some kind of beef with them, and that's alright. What do you know about New Mexico? Did he seem rebellious back in Team... uh... Victory?"

Washington thought about that seriously. "Not really," he admitted. "Actually, no, he was super laid-back and nice. I'm not even sure if he cared that me and Oregon were dating, he was just really surprised by it. I'm just hoping that those - those hillbilly _hicks_ haven't been making him turn against us-"

"Washington, I seriously think you overstate those two guys' animosity towards you," Massachusetts pointed out again. "I mean, sure, they're anti equality, but I don't think they really care about you, as long as you don't flaunt your sexuality like you were-"

"I wasn't 'flaunting' anything!" Washington cried, pretty stressed now. "It's _their_ problem if they don't like the fact that I'm gay! Or that Oregon's gay! I swear, if they ever lay a finger on Oregon, I'll-"

"That's the kind of thing I'm talking about," Massachusetts interrupted, gaze switching between Oregon and Washington cautiously. "They _don't_ care. I mean, sure, they're assholes about it, but - do they _look_ like the types to lead any kind of intellectually strategic alliance?" When Washington didn't respond, Massachusetts triumphantly continued, "Of course they don't. I mean, sure, watch out for them, I guess, but... they're not really your biggest issue right now."

Washington didn't answer for a few moments. "Well... alright," he eventually conceded. "I guess we can see if New Mexico's interested in allying us. But if he isn't, then I'm perfectly happy to get Hawaii to join instead."

With that, Washington stepped out of the room to find New Mexico.

"Can't we play Go-Fish instead?" New Mexico complained, holding six cards in his hands. "This is too hard. I don't even know how to play poker."

"That's why we're teachin' you!" Alabama exclaimed, and picked up a card. "Now, look here. This here's an ace. If you get four aces in a row, that's a four-of-a-kind."

"If you get three aces, that's a three-of-a-kind!" Texas shouted unnecessarily, counting up chips. Alabama nodded vaguely towards his friend, and continued, "If you get a hand with, say, three aces, and two threes, that's a full house. Now - hold up, someone's comin'."

The three boys paused in their session, to find Washington appear around the corner with a questioning stare. "Hey, uh... New Mexico?" he asked. "Can I talk to you?" New Mexico jumped up from the couch, and exclaimed, "Yo! Washington! Hey, what's up, dude? How's your... uh... your b-"

"In private," Washington continued, glancing nervously at Alabama and Texas's blank expressions. "I just need to ask you something."

"Sure thing, little dude," New Mexico yelled, and followed Washington into an empty bunk room. Washington took a breath, and asked, "Would you like to be in an alliance with me? Officially, I mean."

New Mexico blinked. "A what?" he asked at first. "An alliance? With - with you?"

"With me, Massachusetts, and Oregon," Washington said steadily, watching New Mexico's expression. "If you'd be interested, of course. There's no pressure. You're my friend."

"Yeah..." New Mexico stated, scratched the back of his head and avoiding Washington's gaze. "I mean - yeah, we are, totally. But... I dunno, dude - how long have you had this alliance? Are you just starting it up?"

"It's a relatively new development," Washington admitted truthfully. "It's more of a precautionary measure against possible, uh... less-than-desirable alliances that might crop up over the next few weeks. If you joined, you'd be extended full protection from voting."

When New Mexico heard _that_, he starting shaking his head determinedly. "Sorry, Washington," he muttered, "but I can't be in an alliance, and just... and just abandon my friends behind. If _I_ get protection, then that - that just makes it a higher chance for some of my friends to be voted off. I hope you understand, bud. I just - I just wanna be friends. Can't we all just be friends on this team?"

New Mexico raised his arms, and addressed the room around him, as though the entirety of Team Freedom was with him in that tiny little bunk room. "I wish," Washington replied sadly. "But you know as well as I do that this is going to get _very_ competitive soon. Just... be careful, New Mexico. And be wary of anybody that tries to get you into their alliance."

"Yeah... I'll do that..." New Mexico answered cryptically, staring right at Washington. "Think about it," Washington continued. "Let me know if you ever change your mind, New Mexico."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_148_mp3**

"Damn. I had no idea Washington was planning some kind of alliance behind the scenes like that. Though, knowing him, it's really not that surprising. I'm a little proud, actually. But I don't want _any_ part of _any_ alliance. I gotta make that clear to everyone. I gotta let everybody know that _I_ am a friend to _everyone_. And, besides, we work best as a team."

New Mexico

**12:47 PM.**

"Hey, _Chris!_" North Dakota shouted suddenly in the middle of the day as the entirety of Team Fabulous sat anxiously in the middle of the bus in a horrid rainstorm. "When's the challenge? It's almost noon."

There wasn't any kind of response at first. "Either he can't hear you, or he doesn't even _want_ to answer..." California mumbled, gazing towards the front of the bus, where orders were typically issued from Chris. "And I'm not even that excited about doing a challenge in the _rain!_ It'll be horrible for my hair..."

"_ATTENTION!_" Chris's voice suddenly shouted from the tiny radio in the front of the bus. "_Listen up, kids. Since some of you have been complaining, I just wanted to let you guys know that today's challenge will NOT begin until NIGHTFALL. Understood? Okay. Now stop asking. All of you._"

The radio fizzled out into static. "Oh, no..." Pennsylvania groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Ohhh, this is the _Halloween special_... just watch, CampTV is gonna play this episode over and over again, every year as a rerun..."

Virginia frowned slightly, and mentioned, "I thought we weren't supposed to film it until Friday? I'm confused. Someone get Chris back on the radio, we need to ask-"

"No, we _don't_ need to bother the guy who manages every aspect of our lives for the next few months," North Dakota cut in with a hardened expression. "Leave him be. We'll find out in a few hours, anyways, and it's not like complaining or asking about what's gonna happen is going to actually _change_ what happens."

It seemed like North Dakota was just looking for an excuse to argue now. Virginia raised her eyebrows, and muttered, "Okay, fine. We wait."

As a few of the girls began filtering back towards the bunk rooms, California scooted over to North Dakota with a happy smile. "Isn't this exciting?" she asked. "We get to do a spooky Halloween challenge today!"

"Yay," North Dakota groaned, and then checked herself. "That's really exciting, California!" North Dakota lied, nodding her head. "I can't _wait_ for it. I just _know_ our team will win. Especially with you on it!"

California giggled, and waved a hand. "Ohhh, stop it," she insisted. "I'm so glad you're more optimistic about the show now. See? It's not so bad! We're all friends on this team after all!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_149_mp3**

"Friends? Let me tell you, if this wasn't on a very important game show, I wouldn't be even _considering_ speaking to that superficial, blonde, naive chick for a second. However... I _need_ supporters. _So_, I guess I'll have to play along and act 'happy' for the challenges. Like, 'Oh, boy! We get to almost lose again! What fun!' That kind of happiness. It's stupid."

North Dakota

**3:51 PM.**

Towards the afternoon, the rain began to die down, giving way to a partly-cloudy blue sky. Once the torrential rain had finally passed, cold winds swept across the plains of Nebraska; yet another cold front on the march to November. The two buses slowly made their way through traffic along the interstate; somewhere up ahead, a wreck had happened, delaying their progress quite substantially. With nothing else to do, the guys of Team Freedom nervously paced the length of the bus.

"I still can't even _believe_ that Texas believes a thing like that..." Washington muttered for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. "He acts like I can just _choose_ to stop being gay. He's _failed_ to factor in the fact that I would _love_ to be straight, and be - be _normal_..."

Oregon, who was sitting cross-legged on his bed, cocked his head to one side and asked, "You'd... rather be straight?"

"Yep. I'd have a lot less problems."

...

"Um... does that mean you'd... rather not be, um..." Oregon began nervously, and hesitated. "...my boyfriend?"

Washington blinked. "No... _no_, nothing like that," he reassured Oregon. "You are _awesome_, Oregon. Don't get me wrong. I am _absolutely_ happy how I am. It's just... if I had a say in it, I'd rather... I dunno. Like girls instead. It's nothing personal. I'd just have less problems on my hands..."

Oregon nodded, avoiding eye contact with Washington, who simply resumed pacing. "I just _hate_ the fact that Texas and Alabama don't like us _just_ for who we are," Washington continued, as if that conversation hadn't actually happened. "They _judge_ us. It's cruel, and wrong, and they should go home as soon as possible."

"Not everyone shares your views..." Oregon reminded, looking at the floor. "Like New Mexico, probably. And Texas and Alabama are nice, Washington - they're not _trying_ to be mean, they're just doing what they think is right, and that's not so b-"

"The Nazis thought that what they were doing was right," Washington snapped, absolutely caught up in this entire issue. "Slavery was seen as something that was 'right' for centuries. The townspeople of Salem thought that what they were doing was right, when they hung and burned and crushed people they thought were witches in the seventeenth century. Just because people have good intentions, doesn't mean that what they're doing is great."_  
><em>

The bus rumbled on for a few moments. Washington's expression softened slightly, and he sat down beside Oregon. "Hey," he muttered. "It's okay. We'll get through this. You and me. We've only got two more months left in this show, and if we made it this far, then the rest should be a cake walk."

Oregon smiled a little, and hugged Washington. "Seriously, though, forget about Texas and Alabama," Oregon advised softly. "They're not mean. They're just dumb."

**5:46 PM.**

The bright autumn sky was cast in a brilliant orange explosion of color as the sun made its daily journey towards the horizon; flaring up beautifully, and then dying out in somber silence. The two buses, of Fabulous and Freedom, were both parked on the side of the highway near a small town. Cars sped by, unaware of the fact that a nationally-famous TV show was currently filming.

"Hello, kids!" Chris greeted, wearing sunglasses to block against the bright orange light. "Are you all ready for today's challenge? And _no_. This is _not_ the Halloween challenge. But it _will_ be spooky!"

Sighs of relief were heard throughout the seventeen contestants. "This challenge will be historical!" Chris continued in his speech. "As probably none of you know, Nebraska was an important stop along the Oregon trail! Fort Kearny, which doesn't exist anymore, has turned into a sleepy little town on the southern border of Nebraska. _But_, it used to be one of the major stops for 49'ers on their way to the west coast!"

"Yo, Chris, exactly how is all this important to the challenge?" Hawaii asked, growing slightly impatient. Chris scoffed, put his hands on his hips, and exclaimed, "I'm trying to give you kids some _rich cultural history!_ This is all stuff I spent like _fifteen minutes _learning last night from Wikipedia! But _fine_. Today, you will all be _recreating_ the experience of the _Oregon trail!_"

This was unexpected. Chris pointed behind him, where two large caravans awaited, which would each be pulled by two horses. One caravan was light blue, while the other was pink. Washington raised a hand, and said, "I think the gold rush trail and the Oregon trail were two different things. One went to California, and the other-"

"Shoosh! I was talking!" Chris yelled, quieting Washington. "Very rude. Anyway, kids, hop in your team's caravan. The first team to arrive in Lexington, which is west of here, will win the challenge! It's thirty-five miles away, so... you should get there in _only two and a half hours!_"

Groans were shared by everybody. "_Hours__?_" Mississippi asked in disbelief. "I thought y'all were giving us horses! I love horses."

"We are!" Chris responded, pointing at the caravans ahead. "Hop in those, and they'll take you far. Make sure not to stray off the main trail, alright? It should be nightfall by the time the lot of you get to Lexington. And like I said, the first team to make it there wins! Now let's _move it_, kids! We're burning daylight here!"

Each team made its way down to the two caravans, which both resided on a dirt road that only pointed west. The room inside was spacious, sure, but definitely not large enough to accommodate almost ten people in each one. "_These_ are the caravans?" North Dakota asked, climbing the steps into Team Fabulous's. "Who's driving them? Because I'm not getting near one of those horses. That's how you get ebola."

Chris frowned, and said, "Well, _someone's_ got to drive them. And the interns only know how to drive buses. Not horses. Figure out who among your team will be-"

"Me!" Mississippi immediately exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I want to ride the horses!"

"Okay, well, you don't get to _ride_ them, you only get to _steer_ them, there's a difference-"_  
><em>

But before Chris could explain that difference, Mississippi had already gotten herself in the driver's seat of Team Fabulous's caravan. After a brief discussion, Colorado became the one to drive for Team Freedom. And by six PM, both teams were underway, headed west.

"I think this'll be fun!" South Dakota exclaimed as pink hues began to take over the sky. "And it's no different from sitting inside the buses all day long."

"Except there's no heating, no water, no bathrooms, and no forms of entertainment," North Dakota muttered, eyes empty and dark. "These _caravans_, or whatever, aren't exactly high-tech. This is just sitting in one spot for three hours."

"Two and a half hours, actually," California corrected, remaining optimistic. "And South Dakota is right! This is gonna be fun. We should all sing _songs_. I'll do Katy Perry!"

**6:27 PM.**

As yet another rousing chorus of "I Kissed A Girl" rose from the girls' caravan, the boys began to grow irritable and impatient. "It's _freezing_..." Washington muttered, pulling his jacket tight around him. "I wish we could stop by a fire or something. Colorado, can we go faster? The girls've been singing that song for the past-"

"Don't tell me what to do," Colorado snapped from his position in the driver's seat, eyes dead on the dirt road ahead. "_You_ guys aren't the ones having to sit in this windy - _frigid_ cold out up here next to these _damn pooping horses..._"_  
><em>

Colorado evidently was not having a very fun day. Early on, the nine guys had been chatting and joking around, but as the challenge wore on, they quickly resorted to silence. "This is actually a really terrible challenge..." New York noted, comfortably warm in his heavy brown sweater. "Just the way it's set up. Chris could've definitely handled this better. All we're really doing is sitting in some caravans for a few hours. It's not like this is even a race..."

True to his word, Team Freedom and Team Fabulous had been "neck in neck", if you could say that. That is to say, they were going at the exact same speeds, and despite attempts by Colorado and Mississippi to make them go faster, the horses would not oblige. Thus, they were stuck going at a leisurely trot along the dirt road.

Colorado sniffled, and drew his shoulders up to his neck, trying to conserve heat. He was _really_ beginning to regret taking up the reigns of leadership of the caravan; both figuratively _and_ literally.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_150_mp3**

"This isn't great, but at least I'm not on Miss Queen Bee's team anymore. I can actually do what I want! And I really like it. No wonder North Dakota's such a fan of just... saying what she _wants_ to people. If I think someone looks ugly, or they're doing a bad job, or they're otherwise unfit for what they've been assigned, then I'll tell them! Honesty is the _best_ policy, after all. Free will rocks. Horses do not. That's really all there is to say on the matter."

Colorado

**6:50 PM.**

"I miss New Mexico..." Arizona mumbled, hugging her knees. The pink skies of late twilight were beginning to give way to a much darker hue, littered with stars; first one, then another, and then a few more. Not far away, cars roared along a highway that seemed to extend forever ahead. Lexington didn't seem very close at all.

"I'm sure you do," California responded sympathetically, letting Arizona rest her head on her shoulder. "He was so nice. I liked him a lot when we were all one team. God... it's creepy out here, isn't it?"

The two peeked around; most of the other girls seemed too drowsy and inattentive to pay much attention to their surroundings. Mississippi, still guiding her two horses, which were named "Billy" and "Betty", seemed as wary as ever. "I wonder what would happen if we got seen by a bear," California continued, gazing at the acres of farmland around them. "What do you think would happen? Oh, gosh, I don't think I'd be able to handle that..."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Arizona reassured her old friend. "I don't even think there are any bears out here."

They glanced around one last time, as if expecting to suddenly spot a bear charging right towards them. But no, only miles of darkness extended towards the horizon.

Arizona leaned towards California, and whispered, "Hey... are you hanging out with North Dakota now?"

There was a long moment before California answered. "No. I'm not," California eventually lied. "Who told you that? Er - and why do you ask? Do you not like her?"

Initially, suspicion was clearly garnering in Arizona's eyes of California, but she evidently didn't make much of it. "Well, no, I don't, and you shouldn't, either," Arizona revealed in a low whisper. "She's manipulative. She may _seem_ friendly to you, but I can assure you that she's just trying to get ahead in the game."

California thought about that for a while. Above, hundreds of stars began peeking out from behind the dark clouds. An almost half-moon hung in the sky, giving an eerie blue glow over everything. They were beginning to see why Chris had wanted the contestants to begin this challenge at nightfall.

**7:21 PM.**

Twenty minutes past seven PM, the two caravans came upon a split in the road.

North Dakota sat up, craning to get a better view of whatever was blocking the way. "What's the deal? Move!" she exclaimed. "Mississippi, what's the problem?"

Mississippi merely pointed. Ahead, the two paths split evenly around a huge boulder, which seemed to extend towards a set of hills in the distance. "It looks like we've got to choose a path to go," she stated blankly.

"Then... does it matter? As long as the boys follow us, which they will, we won't have any issues. We just keep going forwards. Now pick the path on the right already."

"Wait, why do we have to go in the same direction that the boys go in?" Virginia suddenly piped up. "We're _racing_ them there, believe it or not. If we pick the same path, then we'll just end up going in the same speed. Obviously one of the paths is better than the other."

North Dakota rolled her eyes, and said, "Oh, look who just stopped caring. It's me! Now go right, Mississippi. The boys will follow us. I'm sure of it."

Slowly, Team Fabulous rolled towards the right, around the boulder. "It looks like they're going right..." Oregon mumbled, peeking out the edge of the tarp covering the caravan. "Should we follow them?"

"I think we should go left," Hawaii advised. "If the girls are going right, then we might have an advantage over them! Hahah! And then we'll win the challenge. Plus, this way might be faster than theirs!"

"Uh, but what if it's not?" Alabama pointed out, wary of Hawaii's instantaneous decision. "We ought'a just go behind the girls, just to be safe. And besides, my girl's on that team, and-"

"I don't care," Colorado stated as a matter-of-factly. "I'm the one steering, aren't I? And I agree with Hawaii. We go left."

Washington piped up, "It's a fifty-fifty chance of this path being faster. The fact that the girls aren't on this one doesn't change anything. Personally, I'd like to get away from the girls and their singing, just in case they start up again."

Colorado turned left anyways, regardless of who agreed with him and who didn't. As he did so, the skies above began to grow ever-darker with the coming evening; a somewhat ominous sign of the next hour to come.

**7:33 PM.**

A-WOOOOOOOOOO

Coyote calls filled the air around Team Freedom's caravan, penetrating the once-still silence. Oregon yelped, terrified; Texas swore, and yelled, "I swear - I need my huntin' rifle. We've got wolves around us."

"Those are coyotes, butt-breath!" Alabama shouted, inching away from the back of the caravan. "Where's Chris? He needs to get us outta here. Y'all, stay quiet-"

"It's kind of hard to stay quiet with you guys screaming!" New York yelled, gripping the seat tightly. "Colorado, get us out of here!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I don't take orders from anybody anymore!"

"If you _don't_ get us out of here, then we get _attacked!_" Washington cried as the calls got louder. "Or something! _Colorado!_ Someone get him off of there - let me drive - we need to get _out_ of here."

Colorado jumped away from Washington's outstretched arm, and yelled, "Alright, alright - I don't even _see_ any coyotes! You guys are just panicking. We are _fine_. Now just sit back and enjoy the ride! We'll be there _before you know it._"

Just then, a loud bark erupted from the left side of the caravan. One of the horses squealed in horror, and took off, dragging the caravan with it. "_AAAHHHHHH!_" Massachusetts screamed, grabbing onto the bench in absolute terror. "_GO FASTER! GET US AWAY FROM THEM!_"

Barking and howling began to recede behind the caravan, though the coyotes clearly seemed to be chasing the caravan. "Colorado! Don't stop!" New Mexico yelled, trying his best to remain calm. "But - but keep us under control, bro. 'Cause I can't hang on for much longer."

"I'm - I'm _trying!_" Colorado insisted, as the caravan sped right off the dirt track and into the grass. "The horses are spooked, they - just hold on, everybody, we'll get away from the coyotes."

Team Freedom's caravan sped off into the empty, flat wilderness of Nebraska, away from the dirt track for good, leaving the coyotes behind. Ahead, huge hills stood tall and imposing over the route ahead. The game was on.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_151_mp3**

"I've got a dog at home. But... those _wolves_ are _nothing_ like the dogs I've seen. The howls are just... chilling. Man, I miss my dog."

Massachusetts

**8:17 PM.**

Over on Team Fabulous's side of the mountains, things were smooth sailing. Though distant howls and shrieks had been heard earlier, Mississippi led the horses on, clearly unintimidated by the coyotes far away. As it became increasingly clear that the girls were on their own, they started to chat again; if anything, to generate more heat. The night was growing quite cold, after all.

"Look at all the stars up there..." Arizona murmured to herself, gazing up at the sky. "There's gotta be thousands of them... it reminds me of back home, where I'd go to my grandma's house, and we'd have mashed potatoes, and my grandpa would have his telescope out, and-"

"No offense, Arizona, but nobody really wants to listen to your stories," North Dakota commented dully, her head resting in her hands. "It's frankly quite annoying. Oklahoma, you agree with me, right?" At that, Oklahoma snapped her head up, and nodded in strict affirmation. "Definitely," she stated. "Story time is over. Serious time is now."

Virginia glanced between Arizona, North Dakota, and Oklahoma, and quickly said, "Arizona can speak if she wants. It's a free country. You two don't control her."

North Dakota scoffed rudely, and briefly brushed her long black hair out of her eyes. "Yeah, well, if _I_ were you, and _I_ could be voted off at any given moment, then _I_ might want to watch my tongue with people who actually _matter_. Right... South Dakota?"

South Dakota looked up, startled to see her sister staring at her with a demanding expression. "Oh. Uh..." she mumbled. "I mean... technically Arizona can say what she likes, I mean... it's not like we're going to stop her or anything..."

She only received a scowl from North Dakota. "Whatever. All I'm saying is... watch yourself," North Dakota advised with a small sneer. "This show's getting a _lot_ more competitive, and like _hell_ if I'm gonna let someone push _me_ around."

California groaned, and yelled, "Maybe Mississippi, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, and I should make an alliance, all together to offset all this stupid _arguing_."

Her remark received a lot of giggling from Pennsylvania and South Dakota, and a hoarse laugh from Mississippi up in the front. North Dakota grimaced, and muttered, "That's not funny. And why is my own _sister_ included in that? South supports _me_. That's kind of obvious."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_152_mp3**

"I've seen enough. It is _clear_ that there is _nothing_ that will _ever_ change North Dakota's opinion about _anything_. I can't believe she regularly is like that. When I first met her, she seemed... so _nice!_ So friendly! What made her change? Was she just... just being manipulative or something? That's what Arizona says. Maybe... maybe an alliance against her wouldn't be such a bad idea. I don't know. I need time to think."

Virginia

**8:45 PM.**

"_Everyone out of the god damn way!_" Colorado shouted to nothing in particular as Team Freedom's caravan barreled out of control, towards the town of Lexington, Nebraska. "I've got a hand full of reigns, a horse full of poop, and a caravan full of teenagers!"

"Is he okay...?" Oregon whispered to Washington, who shrugged. "I don't know. I just hope we get to Lexington soon," he muttered. "We've kind of been riding around these plains for a long time towards nothing."

"But we're on the path again! Maybe that's a good sign?" Oregon suggested. But before Washington could answer, Colorado suddenly yelped again, and pointed ahead of him. "There they are!" he shouted. "Those are... those are..."

...

"...those are the girls."

Team Freedom's caravan slowly pulled up to Team Fabulous's. Beside the caravan, the two buses awaited, along with Chris, Chef, and the eight girls. "Where have you kids _been?_" Chris yelled, bopping Colorado on the head. "We've been _waiting forever_ for you to arrive! The girls have been here for like half an hour! Were you all just roaming the wilderness or something?"

The boys were horrified. "Wait, we _lost?_" New York cried, jumping out of the caravan. "How'd they - we were going incredibly fast! How'd they get here before us?"

Chris shrugged in response. "According to our GPS's," he began, "Team Freedom took the path that was two miles longer than Team Fabulous's! Not only that, but they also went straight _off_ the path for about twenty minutes or so. So there's that."

When nobody responded, Chris clapped his hands briskly. "Time for voting, Team Freedom!" he announced with a cocky little grin. "Should be interesting to see who's going home tonight! Hey... we might as well do it _right here_. It's nice... wide... open. And this means Team Fabulous will be able to _watch! _Oh, yes. I'm excited for this one already."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_153_mp3**

"I vote for Hawaii. He _was_ the one who suggested we go take a left. So, therefore, he should take the most blame for everything that happened. Besides, I'm like sixty percent sure he's working with New York for something. Maybe an alliance, for all I know. It'd be just like him."

Massachusetts

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_154_mp3**

"I'm gonna vote for Colorado. He's too rude to everybody. What's even his deal? He thinks that just because he's not on Team Dakota anymore, he can just boss us around like North Dakota did to him. Yo, that's not cool."

Hawaii

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_156_mp3**

"I'm gonna vote for Washington. The guy gives me bad vibes. And he tried to stop me from steering. I bet he's just like North Dakota, trying to control the entire team again. Yeah, well, guess what? _You're_ going _home_, Washington."

Colorado

**9:03 PM.**

"Hope you're having a happy early Halloween, kids!" Chris told them all as he collected all the votes from the boys. "Don't worry, you guys. We'll film an official Halloween special on Friday. For now, though, we've got to kick one guy off of Team Freedom! Who's it gonna be?"

Chris then spent a few minutes counting up all the votes, as he always did. Once he was done, he had that same sly, smug grin on his face; he took immense pride in the idea of knowing who was going home, whereas nobody else did. "The votes are in!" he declared. "Since we _just_ got finished with that challenge, I don't actually, um... have any candy for any of you. Uh. Sorry. But you get the immense satisfaction of knowing you're not going home! And _that_ is prize enough. So. Let's begin! Alabama, Massachusetts, and New Mexico! No votes."

A brief, grateful celebration was shared between those three. "A few more!" Chris continued, when it seemed like they were done. "Just a couple more. New York and Oregon! The two of you _also_ received no votes. And that just leaves...

It left Texas, Washington, Hawaii, and Colorado. The girls, who were all watching from their old caravan, seemed to be getting a kick out of watching a different team go through the voting ceremony. "The four of your received at least one vote!" Chris announced. "But who? That's the question absolutely _everybody_ is asking, I'm sure. Well, the contestant with only _one_ vote was... Washington. Also Texas! The two of you only received one vote."

They both glanced at each other suspiciously, each suspecting the other. Chris smiled widely, and yelled, "That just leaves Hawaii and Colorado! Hawaii, your suggestion caused the team to take a wrong turn, and end up miles off course! But Colorado, your entire attitude since the merge has been simply _deplorable!_ Nevertheless... the contestant that's safe tonight... is..."

...

...

...

"Hawaii! You got three votes, dude! How does that make you feel?"

"Uh, I-"

"Don't answer that. It was hypothetical. Colorado! Four votes. You're going home."

At first, Colorado just gaped at Chris. "I'm - I'm _what?_" he exclaimed in horror. "Wait, why _me?_ I've been doing so well in the show so far! Who voted for me?" Upon hearing that, Chris shrugged, and said, "Privileged information, bud. Time to go to the bus and pick up your stuff! Come on, we don't have all night."

Colorado resisted at first, stubbornly standing where he was. "Chris, I _deserve_ to be on this show," he argued. "I spent - I spent _months_ on Team Dictatorship! And now I've _finally_ made it to a new team full of people who _like_ me!"

The guys of Team Freedom awkwardly exchanged nervous glances at that last phrase. "Uh... yeah..." Chris said, evidently not believing Colorado. "And now you can spend _months_ at home! Won't that be fun? Don't worry, you'll be back for the Aftermath in a few weeks or so."

"This isn't _fair!_" Colorado exclaimed, but he was cut off by Chef taking hold of his arms and restraining him. "Let me _go!_"

"I am letting you go!" Chris confirmed with a bemused smile. "Off the show, that is. One of the interns, go fetch his stuff for him. It's clear that Colorado can't be trusted on his own."

Colorado groaned. "You know, this really isn't fair," he stated as a matter-of-factly. "I could've been a _star_ of this show, Chris. I could have had a role to play, and - and a backstory, and - if you'd just give me a chance!"

"Can't. Your ride's waiting," Chris informed Colorado, pointing at a taxi on the road not far away. "Chef? Take him away!"

"My pleasure. C'mon, young'un, stop strugglin' an' get in the taxi."

With the slam of a car door, and the thrust of a suitcase, Colorado was gone, and officially out of the lives of the members of Team Freedom. Sixteen contestants now remained. Two teams of eight. Things were beginning to get interesting.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_157_mp3**

"Okay, I've gotta watch myself from now on. I almost got kicked off, yo! Like, for almost _no reason!_ I hope none of my old friends on Team Victory voted for me. Maybe I should start to... I dunno... get to be better friends with them. It's been a while. And what about New York? He hasn't just _abandoned_ me, has he? If he didn't, then _why'd I get so many votes?_ I don't trust the dude. I was always taught that people who are friendly for what seems like no reason at all can't be trusted. There's always a reason."

Hawaii

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_158_mp3**

"Something tells me... if I don't get into an alliance soon, then I go down. And I know for a fact that 'Team Science', or whatever they're calling it - they're not letting in new people. And if they are, they're specifically not letting in _me_. Which is _why_... I gotta make friends. Maybe with the southerners. The only problem is that nobody knows they're an alliance, so nobody's gonna want to ally with me! Maybe... if I can just... I _might_ get peoples' trust if I let everyone know about the little alliance they've got going on. I need friends here, and fast. Not having friends is how Nebraska and Colorado got kicked off. I can't go the same way. Wow, I talk too much."

New York

**10:20 PM.**

The two buses roared west, towards Colorado. They had to arrive by Halloween for the special, so speed was of high importance. And so... tensions were especially high after that voting ceremony. Alliances were very near being made. Instead of the "friendly team" mindset that was previously held before the merge, a more competitive view began to emerge. The show was there to be won, and that was it.

So, when New York decided to call a team meeting that night, everyone was instantly suspicious of him.

"Okay, guys," New York said, facing Hawaii, Texas, Alabama, and New Mexico. "I have something to reveal to everybody else... that you might find interesting. An alliance has been made."

Alabama gasped, and asked, "Hey - with who? Who're you allyin' with? We're a team, y'all - we can't have no alliances."

"No, no, it's not me!" New York disclaimed quickly, stepping back. "It's not me. I'm not in it. But... I know that it exists. An alliance has been made between Oregon, Massachusetts, and Washington. I heard them from behind the door. They've gone against the team."

Nobody responded for a moment; only expressions of pure horror were seen on their faces. "Now, I propose that we make a _counter_ alliance to them," New York continued, quite nervous for this next bit; the part where he gained everyone's trust. "It's us versus them, after all. _We_ represent Team Freedom. Not them. I've _tried_ to get them to see - to get them to become friendly to us, and for them to trust - I mean... for them to stop, uh... being an alliance. However, if we all band together, then we can _easily _defeat the three of them. Now, who's with me?"_  
><em>

A brief silence, and then Alabama raised his hand. "Hey, y'all, if we really _are_ doin' alliances, I wanna be in one with Texas," he yelled. "It'll be just me and him."

"Okay, that's fine," New York said quickly with a grin. "Okay. Hawaii, I assume you're with me, right?"

Hawaii didn't say anything. He only looked over New York with a grim suspicion. "I don't think so," he stated. "Washington and Oregon are cool. They're my friends. I don't want to go against them."

New York seemed stunned. "Uh. Okay, Hawaii. It's your choice," he said eventually. "New Mexico, how about you?"

New Mexico seemed incredibly antsy. "Uhhh... yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on any kind of alliance..." he said nervously. "Like, um... I just... I don't want any alliance. Can't we all just be friends? Why can't we all be friends? We're a team of eight, for crying out loud."

"Aw, come on, New Mexico!" Texas said, clasping a hand on New Mexico's back. "Don't stay _neutral!_ Man, you gotta be on our side for this, dude. We're counting on you."_  
><em>

New Mexico didn't answer. "Washington and Oregon are my friends..." he eventually said quietly. "And yeah, I guess - I don't have a problem with them being in an alliance or anything, but - can't we all be friends?"

"No. According to Massachusetts, we can't," New York grimly stated. "And Massachusetts had started the entire alliance. He did it. It was _all_ him. So... Texas and Alabama? You're with me. With any luck, they'll be defeated soon. New Mexico... Hawaii...? You two are welcome to join at any time."

Two buses. Two teams. Three alliances.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, and Colorado.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN, StayOuttaMyShed, ElizabethLifeStone, Winkie4, and qweety!

**aspiringAnimator** - Bleeegh! Bleh. Writing for four hours straight is not fun! No, I didn't write the entire chapter today - I almost always write half of it in the days leading up to UpdateDay™ - but I did spend a _lot_ of time writing. It's 11 PM, though, so I DID make my Wednesday deadline! I'm so proud of myself for setting deadlines and actually making them.

About Colorado. He was originally supposed to end up in... 7th place, I think? About mid-game I changed it, because... he didn't really do much. Eventually he just turned into a sort of unnecessary antagonist after the merge, and that seriously upsets the balance of Team Freedom.

The Halloween special SHOULD be up on Friday! Probably late at night. It will be a LOT shorter than usual chapters, because I only have tomorrow and Friday to write it. So... expect, like, 5,000 words tops. Lol, I remember back when I thought 5,000 words was a LOT. Now 8,000 words is a lot. I think I seriously have a problem.

Hooray for 100 reviews! Can we make it to 125 by the end of this act? I think we can! I'm really liking the feedback, though I AM trying to stay the course with what I have originally planned for this fic. However, I DO get more plot than you'd think from my reviewers. Remember the Ohio-Michigan feud of Act 1? That never would've happened without someone's suggestion. Because absolutely nothing happened in Team America up until that story arc.


	36. Halloween

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - **(**Alabama, New York, and Texas**)**, **(**Massachusetts, Oregon, and Washington**)**, Hawaii, and New Mexico.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota**)**, Arizona, California, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 35: HALLOWEEN**

_"If all your friends were jumping off of tall catwalks, wouldn't you do it, too?" - Chris_

**Friday, October 31st, 2014. Denver, Colorado. 5:55 PM.**

"_SPOOKY, SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE-_"

Hawaii covered his ears with his hands, trying to blot out the deafening noise. He sat in a chair behind a huge red curtain; bright lights seemed to be on the other side of it. This was the "Halloween Special", and would be set up to be like a game show. Except infinitely worse, and hosted by Chris.

"_SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR-_"

The music suddenly cut out. A screeching noise erupted from the loudspeakers, which gradually died down inside the auditorium. And then, Chris's voice bellowed loudly.

"_Welcome to Episode 35 of The Fifty State Roadtrip! I... am Chris McLean! You're joining me now in Denver for the first ever live challenge! Who's excited?_"

The audience roared with cheers and applause; it sounded more like an entire stadium than a small theater in downtown Denver. Once the excitement had finally died down, Chris said, "_Today's challenge is special! Each of the sixteen contestants will be forced... to face their fears. Y'see, before they came onto the show, they had to fill out a form! And one of the questions was 'What is your biggest fear?__'_"

Hawaii's eyes grew wide as he realized what the challenge would be. New York, who was sitting next to him backstage, muttered, "Didn't he already do this challenge in Total Drama Island...? I swear, like half of these challenges are just copied from the other seasons..."

"_Our first contestant hails from the Pacific Islands! His plight on Team Victory was one to be remembered far and wide... give it up for Hawaii!_"

The audience applauded as Hawaii stood from his chair. The other fifteen contestants' eyes were on him as he made his way around the curtain, and through the flaps; bright lights, blinding - a deafening cheer-

"Hi, Hawaii!" Chris greeted with a smile, wearing a pirate costume. "Or, should I say, 'Yaaarrr!' Heh. Um. Yeah. Anyway! Are you ready for the challenge? Do you feel prepared... to face your _own fears?_"

"I think so," Hawaii said, giving a modest smile to the hundreds of people watching the show live. "Um, but - I don't really remember what I put on the form. I filled it out months ago, in, like, June, so..."

"Doesn't matter! I've got a copy right here!" Chris announced, and took an envelope from Chef's hands. "Let's see. Oh, my! Age: 16... Allergies: cats... Hobbies: playing video games, surfing, hosting... and I quote, 'the most radical sleep-overs in the world',"

"Hey!" Hawaii protested, fidgeting somewhat. "That's - you can't read that, it's my audition form-"

The audience laughed right on cue along with Chris. "Of course I can!" Chris told him with a grin. "Ah! Here we go! Phobias. Let's see... 'fear of space'. I'm gonna need you to elaborate on that one for me."

Something clicked in Hawaii's mind. "Ohhh..." he muttered, thinking to himself. "Space. I remember. I don't want to be an astronaut. That's my fear. I mean, am I the only person here who watched Gravity? That stuff's scary, yo-"

Chris groaned, and rubbed his forehead. "Hawaii, for this challenge to work, we've got to make you _face_ your fears," he told him. "And we don't exactly have the _budget_ to catapult you into the stratosphere and see how well you do. Uh... hm. Audience, do any of you have any suggestions for-"

Instantly, the audience burst into a huge variety of suggestions, all for Hawaii. Their deafening clamor was absolutely undecipherable, however. Chris, wincing at the cameras, shouted, "Okay! Never mind, then! I'll figure something out myself. Give me a sec."

Chris stood there for a few minutes, tapping his foot and thinking out a solution. He then snapped his fingers, and declared, "I've got it. But we'll need to set this up quickly. I'm gonna need a wind turbine."

The audience laughed at that, leaving Chris confused. "No, I'm serious," he told them all. "We need to recreate the feeling of weightlessness! Why - why is everybody laughing?"

Eventually, Chris just waved a hand sporadically, and yelled, "Whatever. Let's just make Hawaii watch the movie Gravity in an IMAX or something with 3D glasses. Hawaii, go do that. Next up... is Arizona!"

Hawaii was led off stage by Chef, and out of the theater to go do his challenge. Arizona appeared on stage soon after, seeming quite fearful for the first time in a long while. "Hi," she stammered, faced with the huge audience. "I'm... um... so what's my challenge...?"

"Well, you've said that your biggest fear is... a 'fear of war'!" Chris yelled, looking over a form. "Or 'Traumatophobia', as you so elegantly put it. I'm not sure how I can really turn this into a challenge for you. I guess... the easiest thing we could do is... oh, I've got the most _perfect_ idea. One of the interns, go get the box of air-soft guns up here! We're going to shoot Arizona!"

Arizona frowned. "That's not really my fear, though," she explained. "I'd be more scared of, like, a big nuclear war, or being invaded, than just getting shot with a stupid pellet..."

"Shoosh! This is your challenge!" Chris yelled, lifting an air-soft rifle from the chest and loading it. "She's clearly trying to weasel out of it. Yeah, well, that's not gonna work, sister. You've gotta _face your fear!_"

Chris took aim, and shot Arizona right in the forehead. She cried out in pain, and fell onto her back. When Chris went to go over and inspect her, she hadn't gotten up. "Oops," Chris muttered, looking over Arizona. "I think this gun was loaded with those sleep-pellets. Oh, well, that's fine. Arizona has successfully overcome her fear! Team Fabulous wins a point!"

**Team Freedom** - 0 (Hawaii pending)**  
><strong>

**Team Fabulous** - 1

Behind stage, the other fourteen contestants nervously sat around, wary of whatever Chris had planned for them. In retrospect, this entire challenge wasn't very Halloween-themed at all; the only connection seemed to be the "face your fear" part.

South Dakota nervously rubbed her legs in the cold; the backstage was quite chilly, and none of the contestants were allowed to speak at all until they were called onstage. Beside her sat Oklahoma, who seemed similarly uncomfortable. With her sister sitting a while a-ways from her, South Dakota leaned towards Oklahoma, and whispered, "Hey... what do you really think about my sister?"

Oklahoma whipped her head to stare at South Dakota. "What - what do I think of her?" she asked in a low voice. "Ummm... I mean... she's North Dakota, I shouldn't have to be secretly harboring opinions for or against her, because she wouldn't like that."

A long pause went by, as the audience laughed at something from the other side of the curtain. Oklahoma then whispered, "But... if I _did_ have an opinion of her... well... it'd be irrelevant. All I want is to get far in the game, and... being on North Dakota's side is how I'll do that. Even if I lose and only get in, like, fourth place, I'll still - still have a lot of fans, and people who like me back home, so... it's worth it."

South Dakota blinked, and cocked her head slightly. "So... you don't actually agree with what North Dakota says?" she asked. "Because I know I don't. Oklahoma, you don't _have_ to follow her orders or anything like that."

"I want to. It'll get me farther in the game. You should, too. You're going to the top two with her, after all."

A skeptical expression overtook South Dakota's face, as Chris's cry of "_Bring out Texas!_" was heard. She crossed her arms and said, "Oklahoma. When you get home, people _won't like you_ if all you did was support my sister. Even if you _do_ get in the top four or something. Oklahoma... you can't just blindly support someone like-"

"Like it or not, I'm going to," Oklahoma said determinedly as Texas got up from his chair and walked onstage. "And you should, too."

Texas pushed past the thick red velvet curtains to blink nervously in the bright lights of the stage. Chris said, "Ah! Here he is!" He then shook his hand, and addressed the audience. "This is Texas! He's going to be facing his fear of suffocation!"

Instantly, Texas started shaking his head. "No, no, no - y'all, I can't do this," he protested, but Chris grabbed his arm and dragged him forward. "Nonsense! It's time to _face your fears_, Texas! Now come over here and sit in this coffin."

"No! No, please, I don't really wanna-"

"You _have to!_ Otherwise, the boy's team doesn't get a point! And until Hawaii finishes his stupid movie, the boys will always be one point below the girls!"

Chris led Texas to an awaiting wooden box on the floor of the stage. "Hop in!" Chris told him. "We'll shut it on you for just five minutes, so there's no way you could die in there! This is totally legal! I think."

Texas was then directed to lie in the coffin on his back, while the interns would firmly lock the top in place. "Y'all had better let me out of here in _exactly_ five minutes," Texas warned, as he rested his head on a tiny pillow provided for him. "And don't pull any shit about - about burying me or anything. I watched Total Drama Isl-"

"Watch the language, man!" Chris yelled, as the top was securely locked in place. "We'll let you out in no time. Probably. You've got enough air in there to last thirty minutes, dude. Don't freak out or anything."

As Texas's coffin was wheeled away, Chris cracked his knuckles, and announced, "Next up is one of our friends from Team Fabulous! Come on out, Pennsylvania. It's time to face your Ophidiophobia!"

Pennsylvania nervously pushed past the heavy red curtain to find herself facing an audience of several hundred people. "Ohhh... wow..." she stammered, gasping slightly at the huge crowds. "This is... wow, um... hi, Chris..."

"Hello, Pennsylvania!" Chris greeted, checking his watch. "Are you ready to face your Ophidiophobia? That is to say... the fear of snakes?"

Pennsylvania instantaneously seemed unsure of herself now. "Um... not really," she answered truthfully. "Can't I, like - can't I _not_ do this?"

"Oh, sure," Chris responded with a devilish grin. "But if you decide _not_ to do the challenge, you won't get a point for your team! And if your one point is the deciding factor in which team loses, then, well... you'll be going home. Bring out the snake!"

What appeared to be a zookeeper walked onstage holding long green python. "This is Samantha!" Chris said, indicating the huge green snake. "She's with the Denver Zoo! She's a Green Tree Python, which means-"

"Nope," Pennsylvania instantly stammered, stepping away from the snake. "No. Nooo, I am _not_ doing this, Chris-"

"All you have to do is hold her for a minute or so. She doesn't bite. I think. I'm not sure."

"No! I _hate_ snakes! I don't care about the point anymore! Just - just keep the point! I don't want to touch any snakes."

Chris frowned. "Alright! Fine," he said. "Looks like we've got our first loser. And, if Texas _has_ indeed survived a five minute wait inside a tiny wooden box... then that means the scores should be tied. At least, until Hawaii gets out of that movie. Where'd Texas go?"

The interns wheeled a long black coffin from backstage. They unlocked the key that guarded the top of the coffin, and popped the lid off. Texas instantly sat up, gasping for breath. "Chris..." he stammered, "I did it. I sat in the coffin. It was - it was _sweltering_ in there, and kind of muggy, but I - I could breathe, and - I did the challenge, Chris-"

"Excellent work!" Chris congratulated, effectively shutting Texas up. "Ten points to Gryffindor! Or, rather, one point to Team Freedom."

**Team Freedom** - 1 (Hawaii pending)**  
><strong>

**Team Fabulous** - 1

"Again, nice job, Texas!" Chris said again, clearly in high holiday spirits. "So! Now that Pennsylvania has gone, and effectively failed her challenge... we've still got Hawaii out in some theater... Massachusetts! Let's have _you_ go. Where are ya, buddy?"

A few moments later, Massachusetts stumbled out from behind the curtains, seeming particularly flustered. "I'm here," he said unnecessarily. "I, uh... I'm here. What's my challenge? Because that form is something I filled out months ago, and I barely remember what I put down."

Chris shrugged, and took a look at his clipboard. "It says here that you have... a fear of electrocution. Interesting! We've got _just_ the device for you..."

"Ohhh..." Massachusetts said, looking down. "Electrocution. Yeah, no, I don't wanna be electrocuted, thanks."

"Of course you do. Here. I'm gonna shoot you with this taser-"

"No. Definitely not. I don't want to-"

Chris was handed a gun-shaped object from Chef, who'd just returned from taking Hawaii to the movies. Massachusetts, panicking and stepping backwards, exclaimed, "How - _how_ is this a fair challenge? Hawaii got to go to the _movies!_ Whereas _I'm_ going to get hit with - how many volts is that?"

"Only fifty thousand!"

"Don't tase me, Chris! This is _illegal!_" Massachusetts insisted, horrified at the fact that nobody in the audience was doing anything about it. Chris checked the gun, and said, "Well... I mean, if you don't _want_ to do it... but Team Freedom will lose a point."

"Fine!" Massachusetts exclaimed, stepping away from the gun. "I can't do this. I don't want to do it. You can film me, I don't care, but I am _not_ getting myself tased."

"Another point opportunity lost by Team Freedom!" Chris shouted with a smile. "The score's still tied, but we've got another girl who's scheduled to _face her fears_. Bring on out California!" He waved his hand, and directed California on stage for her challenge.

In the end, California was forced to face her deepest fear: of _clowns_. Or Coulrophobia, to be more precise. For the challenge, Chris brought a clown named "Bonkers" on stage, and California was given the task of holding a conversation with him for longer than two minutes without screaming and backing away in fear. Nevertheless, she was able to do it, netting Team Fabulous two points in total, as opposed to Team Freedom's one solitary point.

"Nice job, California!" Chris complemented, sending her on her way behind stage. "Alright. Hawaii's still in his movie theater, so... I assume we've got to get another guy out here for their challenge. Washington! Come on up, buddy. I'm sure the fans are dying to see you."

Washington walked on stage anxiously, almost stumbling over himself in the face of a crowd of hundreds of fans. "Hello," he greeted. "I guess I've got to face my fear, then?"

"Yes, you do!" Chris confirmed, and consulted his notepad. "For your fear, you put down 'Autophobia'. So, you've got a fear of cars? Well, that's great, because we're going for a drive! Follow me outside, Washington, and we'll have you drive on out to-"

"Uh, autophobia isn't the fear of cars," Washington interrupted, prompting Chris to put on a vaguely confused expression. "It's the fear of isolation."

"Ohhh..." Chris muttered, looking over the form again. "That's weird. Well, we here on The Fifty State Roadtrip like to improvise, so... tell you what. I'll put you in a broom closet for fifteen minutes, and then we'll call this challenge done. Sound good to you?"

Washington shrugged. "Okay," he consented. "I guess that's fine. Where's the closet?"

"Over here. Just stay inside it until we tell you to come out of the closet, okay?" Chris told him, leading Washington offstage, and into a hallway. With a slam, Washington was locked inside. Chris wiped his hands in triumph, and returned to the stage. "Alright! It looks like Washington's well underway through _his_ fear," Chris said with a grin. "I think we can fit in just _one_ more contestant before the commercial break. We need another girl, so... let's have Virginia come on up!"

Virginia walked on stage triumphantly, though a little astonished at the sight of so many fans.

"Says right here that your fear is Insectophobia!"

"That's, um... yes, that's right."

"I have a vat of cockroaches behind stage!"

"Is that so?"

Chris seemed amused by Virginia's nonchalant attitude. "Are you saying that you're totally down with getting hundreds of cockroaches poured on you?" he asked with his arms folded. She shrugged, and said, "I guess it could be worse. As long as I keep my eyes closed, and don't, um... think about it, then... maybe I'll be okay..."

"Interesting reasoning!" Chris said, as Chef appeared, dragging a huge plastic tub filled to the brim with literal, live cockroaches. "But you still have to do the challenge. So... Virginia? It's time to hop right into that, uh... vat of cockroaches, and to prove your worth to your team!"

The contestants sitting behind the curtain could hardly believe their ears. Was Virginia _actually_ going to go through with it...?

A long silence simply emanated from the other side of the curtain. Seconds later, the audience gasped; there was a light yelp, and then Chris said, "Virginia has _completed her challenge!_ That's another point for the ladies!"

**Team Freedom** - 1 (Hawaii and Washington pending)**  
><strong>

**Team Fabulous** - 3

Chris faced the audience with a big smile. "So far, you've seen Hawaii, Arizona, Texas, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, California, Washington, and Virginia all face their fears! Some have succeeded, others have failed, and _some_ are still doing theirs! While we set up for the _next_ batch of contestants, here's a few brief words from our sponsors! Don't touch that remote. We'll be right back."

**t50sr_roadtrip_commercial_1_mp4**

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**t50sr_roadtrip_commercial_2_mp4**

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**6:30 PM.**

"And we're back!" Chris yelled, facing the camera with a wide smile and still wearing his ridiculous pirate outfit. "For the viewers just joining us, this is the Halloween special of The Fifty State Roadtrip! I'm your host, Chris McLean. With me... are Hawaii and Washington, who've spent the last while doing their own challenges."

The two boys were on both sides of Chris, who had his arms wide for the cameras. "Hawaii here was tasked with watching Gravity!" Chris revealed. "Kind of a lame challenge, but it was all we could do for his fear. He only watched like thirty minutes of it, so that we could have enough time for tonight's program. Nevertheless, he _did_ manage to complete it! And Washington, here" Chris then indicated Washington, "Washington sat in a broom closet for like fifteen minutes. Which I guess is enough for a challenge? I dunno. We're improvising here. And then he came out of the closet, and earned a point for his team. So! Welcome back. You two can go backstage now."

Washington and Hawaii were lightly shoved away, towards backstage. Chris smiled once more, and yelled, "We've got eight more contestants who have to get through their fears over the course of thirty minutes. Let's get started with New York, whose fear is... well... one of my _favorites_. Come on out, New York."

New York walked on stage, wearing an absolutely defiant expression. "To my defense, I wrote this like four months ago," New York informed them all casually. "So it might not make as much sense now."

"New York's fear is of _corn!_" Chris shouted, and instantly extorted laughter from the audience. "Or, as he so elegantly puts it, '_Maysophobia'_. Heh. So... he'll be eating from a corn-on-the-cob!"

Chris then pointed at a clothed table near the edge of the stage. A glass of water and a plate had been set on it, and on the plate, to New York's horror, was a cob of corn. "Eat up!" Chris directed with a sadistic grin. "If you don't, you won't get a point for your team!"

New York gulped, and quickly went over to sit down at the table. He gingerly picked up the cob with the tips of his fingers, and cautiously licked the side of it. "Ewww... it's buttery," he pointed out with a grimace. Chris laughed, and said, "You gonna eat it or not? 'Cause I really gotta get this show on the road."

"No, no, I'll eat it..." New York quickly claimed, and then muttered, "I just need to... prepare myself. Yeah." He lifted the cob of corn to his mouth, and nervously took a bite out of the side; even Chris looked disgusted, as corn juice ran down New York's chin. A moment more went by, and Chris yelled, "Okay! You win, New York! You get the point. Great. Good. You can go."

**Team Freedom** - 4**  
><strong>

**Team Fabulous** - 3

As New York left the stage spitting into a trash can, it was Mississippi's turn to go next. Her fear was of blood, and she, under Chris's orders, had been instructed to watch a brief video of someone getting a blood transfusion. In the end, though, she couldn't do it, and she ended up crying in horror, and running off-stage, much to Chris's amusement. Her boyfriend, Alabama, was no better; his fear was of heights. Chris told him to climb up to the catwalks of the auditorium, where he would then jump down onto a huge air cushion. But he couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry, Chris, but this ain't for me!" he yelled from his perch. "This - y'all, I'm sorry, but I ain't doin' this. Sorry."

"Come on, Bama!" Chris cheered. "If all your friends were jumping off of tall catwalks, wouldn't you do it, too?"

"Do you _see_ any of my friends up here with me?"_  
><em>

"Fine..." Chris muttered, marking something on his notepad. "That... puts the two teams right next to each other still. Hm. Let's have Oklahoma come up next. I like her fear. Oklahoma! Where are you, darling?"

Oklahoma shuffled onstage, nervously avoiding eye contact with Chris. "You're scared of spiders, correct?" he asked, indicating her audition form. She gave a tiny nod, signifying her confirmation. "Right," Chris said, and waved one of his interns on stage. "This here is Brad The Intern," Chris said, pointing at him. "He owns a tarantula! He showed me last night. Bring Jerry out, Brad The Intern."

Brad opened a tiny plastic crate, and lifted a huge spider out from it. Oklahoma shrieked at the sight of it, and jumped back. "No!" she cried, shaking her head. "No, no, I'm not - I'm not touching that thing - no, no, I changed my mind-"

"So you want Team Fabulous to fall behind Team Freedom _again?_" Chris asked, grinning. "Because I'm more than happy to oblige your request." On hearing that, Oklahoma gulped nervously, and looked to the curtain behind her; it was closed, but she knew her teammates were depending on her, and _especially_ North Dakota. She quietly murmured, "Okay, I'll do it - Chris, I'll do it. What do I have to do...?"

"All you gotta do is touch Mister Droobs here!" Chris said, as Brad The Intern handed Oklahoma the spider. "And be careful. Don't drop him. If you do, we've got a lost tarantula on our hands," Chris warned darkly. "And I think that'd be even _worse_ than holding him for a minute or two."

"Ohhh-kay, wow..." Oklahoma gasped, as the spider crawled around on her hand. "Oh, my, this isn't so bad..."

Chris raised his hands triumphantly towards the ceiling, and shouted, "Hear that, everybody? Not so bad! Oklahoma has won a point for Team Fabulous!"

**Team Freedom** - 4**  
><strong>

**Team Fabulous** - 4

Oklahoma walked offstage, after handing Mister Droobs back to Brad The Intern. "I think Oregon should come up next!" Chris decided after a brief moment of thinking. "Let's see. What was his fear again?" Chris flipped through some of his forms, scanning them quickly. "Hm. Lots of stuff here," he noted. "Guns, sharks, poison ivy, blood, horror movies, pain, horses, _fog_, for some reason... and water. That last one is interesting. What do you do when you drink, Oregon? Do you just drink milk and orange juice all the time?"

Oregon walked onstage, blushing furiously at Chris. He stammered, "Uh, no, I - I just had an experience as a kid, and - and it was too much, and..."

"Say no more," Chris interrupted. "We've got the perfect challenge for you. Bring out the kiddie pool!"

A few interns came onstage, dragging a sizely kiddie pool with them. It was filled with water. "Since you're scared of the water, you have to sit in this kiddie pool!" Chris told Oregon with a smug smile. "Just for a minute. There's nothing to fear, it's not like you'll _drown_."

That last word freaked Oregon out a little, but he complied, stepping into the pool. "Um, I'm kind of wearing all my clothes," he told them, and received a roar of laughter from the audience. Chris ignored the fans, and said, "Well. Clothes aren't necessary. You can strip if you want."

...

"Um, I'm good, thanks..."

Oregon nervously sat down in the pool, letting the water pool around his legs and make his trousers soaking wet. Chris checked his watch, sighed, and yelled, "While he's doing that, let's have South Dakota come up and do her fear! We're almost done here, kids."

South Dakota walked onstage, curiously watching Oregon, who seemed to just be sitting in a kiddie pool. These challenges couldn't be that bad, she reasoned. Chris smiled at her, and said, "So! You've got a fear of fire, right? You don't like to be around fire?"

She nodded hesitantly, and quickly asked, "Um, if it's not so much of a bother - what's my challenge? I kind of want to know."

Chris reached into his pockets, digging around for something. "You need to light a match!" he told her. "And then light a candle using the match. It's pretty easy."

South Dakota eyed the box of matches cautiously, and asked, "Uh, what happens if it, like... what happens if the whole thing bursts into flames or something? Oh, no, I don't think I'd be able to handle that. No, no, can we, like... can you light a match and give it to me, so I can light a candle-"

"Nope! You have to strike the match yourself," Chris told her slyly. She nodded, and said, "Right, figured as much... let's see..."

For the next minute or so, she tried striking a match, but evidently she wasn't using enough force to generate the friction necessary. Only after Chris had told Oregon to get out of his kiddie pool and that he'd gotten a point for his team, she'd actually lit one. "I did it!" she cried, as Oregon hustled past her in dripping-wet clothing. "I - I lit it! Chris, look, I lit it-"

"Great! Amazing!" he yelled sarcastically. "You are so amazing, South Dakota. You deserve _all_ the awards. Now, hurry, those matches only last for a minute or so. Light the candle so you can finish with your absolutely _horrible_ challenge."

Using a shaking hand, and a determined glare, South Dakota lit the candle successfully, though she ended up burning her finger slightly from the match stub. Chris rolled her eyes at her slight pain, and yelled, "Team Fabulous gets another point! Which means... the teams are _still tied,_ once Oregon's point is factored in. And we have two contestants left. Wow."

Those two contestants were New Mexico and North Dakota. "Since we just had a girl go up... why not have a guy?" Chris said, and waved for New Mexico to come on stage. He arrived, seeming confident in the throes of all of his adoring fans. "'Sup, Chris!" he greeted with a grin. "What's my challenge?"

"You tell me!" Chris said, consulting his form. "You've got the fear, anyways. Let's see... your fear is of _flying_. Huh. How are we supposed to do that one...?"_  
><em>

New Mexico's confident grin instantly vanished when he was reminded of what he put down for his fear. "Oh, uhhh... well, since we can't actually do that challenge..." New Mexico began uncertainly, "maybe... we should, like... not do it at all! Wow, that works with me."

Chris frowned. "I'm not giving you a point for doing absolutely nothing," he said. "You either do the challenge, or you don't. You've gotta face your fears. I think I've said that phrase like ten times today. I mean... I'll let you do nothing, but you won't get a point for your team."

"Uh..." New Mexico muttered, thinking. "Maybe... we could, I dunno... maybe Chef could pick me up, and we could pretend I'm flying-"

"No, that's lame," Chris decided instantaneously. "Go away, New Mexico. We don't have a plane to fly right now."

"I'm not even that scared of flying!" New Mexico protested. "I flew on one from ABQ to DC! I was just scared of 'em _before_ then. C'mon, lemme do the challenge-"

"Do we _look_ like we have the budget to let you climb into a plane and fly around?" Chris asked, running his hands through his hair. "The answer to that is no. No, we don't. Sorry, New Mexico. I guess you'd better hope that North Dakota fails her challenge, so that the two teams tie today. And then we won't have anybody go home."

But North Dakota, who was already making her way onstage, didn't seem like she was ready to fail her challenge quite yet. "No, I'm ready," she said as a matter-of-factly. "Bring it on, Chris."

New Mexico stumbled backstage, where he was greeted with his friends. Chris looked over his forms one last time. "North Dakota!" he yelled. "You didn't put anything for your fear. That's one of the reasons we picked you to be on the show."

"Yeah, because I'm not scared of anything," she declared, smirking at Chris. "At least, not anything that I'm willing to admit."

"However!" Chris yelled. "We had our in-house therapist come and take a look at the episodes of the show so far. And he's deduced that you _do_ have a fear. It's actually a pretty common fear, from what he tells me-"

"He did?" North Dakota asked instantly, and then demanded, "Well, what is it? Because as far as I know, I don't have a-"

"Fear of being ignored!" Chris declared to the audience. "Or Athaza... gora... phobia. I think that's how it's pronounced. It's a long one."

There was a long pause. "Well?" North Dakota asked, seeming a little annoyed. "What's my challenge?"

"And that concludes today's show!" Chris yelled with a big smile. "Sit tight, everyone! We're going to the voting ceremony in just a few minutes. I think. It depends on whether or not the teams tied."

"What's my _challenge?_" North Dakota insisted. "You didn't tell me! Don't just sit there and _ignore me!_"

"What do you guys think?" Chris asked, as the contestants began to come out from backstage. "Should we have a voting ceremony? I'm not sure. We only have fifteen contestants on the show total right now."

North Dakota was about to refute that statement, right until she froze, and grinned a little. "Ohhh. I get it. You're ignoring me. Hahah, very funny. Now give Team Fabulous the win. I think we deserve it."

"I'm not sure if we _should_ have a voting ceremony today!" Virginia yelled loudly, as though nobody had just spoken. She'd begun to catch on. "It'd be kind of unnecessary! I mean, we _do_ have only fifteen contestants on the show, total..."_  
><em>

North Dakota whipped around to stare at Virginia. "What the _fuck_ did you just say?" she shouted. "Don't start with me, Virginia. Don't play with Chris's game. You _acknowledge_ my presence _right now_."

Virginia stared blankly past North Dakota, evidently enjoying this. North Dakota rolled her eyes, and turned to Oklahoma. "You. Say my name."

Oklahoma hesitated for a lengthy amount of time; her eyes darted between Chris and North Dakota; Chris seemed very adamant about Oklahoma ignoring North Dakota, but... North Dakota was her leader. "I acknowledge you, North Dakota," Oklahoma eventually said. She received a bop on the head from Chris. "Boo!" he yelled. "Damn it, Oklahoma. That was fun. You were supposed to play along. Ah, well. I guess... Team Fabulous _does_ get the point."

**Team Freedom** - 5**  
><strong>

**Team Fabulous** - 6

"Which means!" Chris continued loudly. "Team Freedom's going to the voting ceremony tonight! What fun! I wonder who's going home...?"

"_What?_" New York yelled, horrified. "Chris! That's not fair! New Mexico _couldn't_ do his challenge! You wouldn't let him! And North Dakota _barely_ even completed her challenge, she was freaking out, and everything-"

"Life isn't fair!" Chris snapped at New York. "Deal with it, kid. That's just how this works. Unfortunately for Team Freedom, you'll all be going to voting tonight. However, fortunately for _me_, I'm having a nice dinner at Mizuna! Like I said. Life isn't fair."

**7:08 PM.**

As the eight boys of Team Freedom were led outside by Chef and Chris, they fervently discussed who'd be going home among themselves.

"We ain't pickin' you, New York," Alabama reassured him. "Quit frettin'."

"Are - are you sure?" New York stammered, hardly reassured at all. Texas nodded in confirmation, and lowly muttered, "You're an alliance member. Y'all'd better _believe_ we don't vote off people that're our friends. Even though you _are_ from the North."

New York chuckled nervously, and mumbled, "Thanks. But... we still need to figure out who to vote off."

"Washington," Alabama instantly said. "Every one of 'em on that other alliance are all gay. We pick their leader an' then get the rest off one by one."

"I dunno," Texas interrupted. "New Mexico... he didn't do his challenge."

"He couldn't!" Alabama yelled, but was hushed; there were other guys around them, after all. "Well. He didn't join our alliance," Texas sternly said. "Y'know, he might be workin' with 'Team Science' or whatever. _Especially_ since all his other teammates are on it."

"Not Hawaii," New York pointed out. "I'm pretty sure Hawaii's neutral. And so is New Mexico. We should vote for Massachusetts, guys - it makes more sense, and _he's_ been doing his best to ignore me this entire act. I didn't do anything _that_ bad."

Alabama rolled his eyes, and muttered, "Well, I'm goin' for Washington. Tex, you should, too. He wronged you by, like... bein' weird. And likin' boys. Man, that's not _natural_..."

"One at a time, Bama," Texas said determinedly. "But we gotta vote in a few minutes here."

True enough, the eight boys were led to where Chris would be conducting the vote; in a huge parking lot, as usual. "Are you all ready to cast your votes?" Chris asked, arms folded. "Because we need to begin. We're already running late, it's... like... 7:15 now..."

One by one, each contestant went into the confessional booth of Team Freedom's bus nearby, which was just the restroom. When everything was all sorted out, Chris counted out the votes. He burst into laughter at the very end. "Ohhh, wow," he gasped. "This is strange. Weird. I don't think we've ever had a situation like this."

Chris then turned to address the contestants, wearing an amused expression. "Each of you got one vote!" he explained, unable to contain his silent fits of giggling. "Which means we've just had an _eight-way tie_. Man. Kind of weird, actually. Looks like we'll have to settle this using the old-fashioned method!"

The host started digging into a bag, and eventually withdrew a set of eight straws, all at different lengths. "Each of these straws are different!" he yelled, showing them to the contestants. "But one is the shortest. The contestant to draw the shortest straw goes home! So... this is gonna be _entirely random_. Any one of you could be going home. None of you are safe. And _all_ because nobody ended up picking the same contestants. I guess that happens when you only have like five minutes to plan on who you're voting for."

Chris then shrugged, as though he'd been thinking to himself then. He then shoved all the straws in his hand and positioned them so that the bottoms couldn't be seen, and that the tops were all at the same height. "Pick wisely!" he advised, as Hawaii took the first straw. "You've all got, like, a one in eight chance of going home tonight."

"Um, what percent would one in eight be...?" Oregon whispered to Washington as he pulled straw from Chris's hand. "That'd be like twelve percent," Washington informed him. "Half of twenty-five percent. What length's yours?"

Oregon and Washington compared the lengths of their straws. Oregon's seemed to be a lot longer for some reason. In fact, Washington's was actually the shortest out of everybody so far. The only people who had yet to pick were Alabama and New Mexico.

Alabama picked his straw. It was an inch longer than Texas's, which was the longest one. Which meant...

New Mexico pulled the straw from Chris's hand. The entire world stopped, as Washington gaped in horror-

Everyone squinted to look at New Mexico's straw. It was about the length of a finger, clocking in at just two inches long. Washington's was longer, but by a slim margin. "Oh, god..." Washington gasped, dropping the straw. New Mexico seemed more confused than he had ever been in his life. "Wait, hold on, what does it mean?" he asked, holding up his tiny straw. "I thought - doesn't longest straw go home?"

Chris hesitated briefly, and the muttered, "...no. The shortest straw goes home, and unless I'm mistaken... that's the two-inch straw, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

"Sorry, New Mexico. Um... pack up your stuff and go home, I guess."

New Mexico sighed, and rubbed his temples roughly. "Aw, man..." he mumbled, in great distress. "Ohhh, no... wait. Wait! Can I go see Arizona? Please. _Please_, Chris."

Chris weighed the options. Letting New Mexico say goodbye to his girlfriend would probably make a pretty good scene for the show. "Yeah. Yeah, you can," Chris decided after a long while. "Go see her. She's over in the theater. Backstage. Happy Halloween, by the way."

New Mexico didn't respond, and simply sprinted towards the theater - there was a TV in there, surely everybody was watching the broadcast - that meant Arizona _knew_-

**7:24 PM.**

Sprinting footsteps, and then-

New Mexico and Arizona collided in a tight embrace in the middle of the stage. "Oh, god, baby, I'm so sorry," New Mexico sobbed. His shades were off; and his eyes were a brilliant, tear-stained blue. Arizona shook her head as much as she shook with the tears, and whispered, "No. It's okay. You didn't get voted off by _anybody_. That is the _best_ way to go on this show..."

"Honey, you _win_ this thing," New Mexico whispered into her ear. "You _win it_. Do whatever it takes. For us. I know you can make it. It'll be hard, but... I've got _faith_ in you, babe!"

"I know you do," Arizona thickly responded, nodding slowly. The two were being watched by everybody; Team Fabulous, who were all peeking out from behind the curtains, and the entire audience, which seemed speechless. "You are _the most compassionate girl I know, Arizona_," New Mexico muttered in a rough voice. His shades were completely off; he'd discarded them as eye-wear now. "_You_ saved Alaska. _You_ cared for Montana. _You_ felt sympathy for Louisiana when she was voted off on your team. And... we were separated, but..."

"But not in spirit," Arizona finished for him, and New Mexico started shaking harder with the tears. "I love you," he croaked. "Man, I really do. You were the one girl I liked on this show. You were _real_."

She didn't respond, and merely nodded to his words. The two stood still for a moment, until Arizona sighed, and said, "Well... you've got a taxi to catch, I guess..."

"Yeah... I guess I do."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, and New Mexico.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **StayOuttaMyShed, ElizabethLifeStone, Guest, VirginiaFan5678, Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN, and blazethundr23!

**aspiringAnimator** - I _told_ myself I'd only write 5,000 words for this chapter. I only had two days to write it! And then I ended up spending five hours today and I wrote 7,000 words! What is seriously _wrong with me?_

That's the Halloween special. Not very spooky; if you want a spooky chapter, go for the previous two. This one is more comedy, and then sharply dramatic towards the end. And yeah, sorry about New Mexico. He was never planned to get farther than this. The reason he was kicked off was that he never picked a side; he could go with his old friends of Team Victory, or with his new friends of Team Touchdown. If he had picked a side, the votes would be eschewed, and the elimination wouldn't have been random.

On this chapter I accidentally deleted two thousand words that I'd written. I was _very_ close to just quitting it right then; it was two hours ago, actually. But I pulled through! Congratulate me. Congratulate me _now_.

A more serious note: sorry about the late update! It's still 11 PM on Halloween night (also nobody came to my house for candy wow), but I realize the vast majority of readers aren't reading this in October. I _did_ make the deadline, though. And that's all that matters. Lemme know of any typos, I was writing rather quickly.

Next update is Wednesday, because this was the weekend update! Sorry for the long author's note! There was a lot of stuff that needed to be addressed.


	37. Chef's Boot Camp

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - **(**Alabama, New York, and Texas**)**, **(**Massachusetts, Oregon, and Washington**)**, and Hawaii.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota**)**, Arizona, California, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 36: CHEF'S BOOT CAMP**

_"Quit yo' mumblin'. This ain't no - no Men in Black thing. You ain't gonna find aliens down here." - Chef_

**Wednesday, November 5th, 2014. Holloman, New Mexico. 7:59 AM.**

Two buses. Two teams. Three alliances.

As The Fifty State Roadtrip moved into November, competition began to heat up once more. For fans, it was a common practice to bet on who would be going home next; for example, a _lot_ of people lost their money the night New Mexico went home on Halloween. Even Chris, the show's own host, bet once; in an explosively controversial move a few months prior, he bet two hundred dollars that Minnesota wouldn't be going home, whereas one of his interns bet against him that she would. Though Chris ended up losing the bet, he still kept his cash due to his claim that technically, she only went home due to being disqualified. The story was picked up by celebrity gossip outlets right around the time it was discovered Chris had been fired.

Of course, none of that really mattered. The most important kind of competition around the show was from the actual show itself; alliances were being forged, brief friendships made, enemies fostered. The fifteen contestants still on the show were the best of the best, and every one of them seemed determined to win the million in cash.

Team Fabulous's bus sped south, across the New Mexico state border from Colorado. A hot sun baked the coarse, grainy sand of this new state; though it was already early November, clearly the sun wasn't quite ready to give up on this sun-scorched land. As on any challenge day, the occupants of the bus were rather tense, though confident; after all, Team Fabulous was a team of eight, whereas Team Freedom was a team of only seven. Unfortunately, though... a certain contestant wasn't feeling as perky as the others. She'd lost someone very important to her just less than a week prior.

Virginia tried her hardest to console Arizona, who'd spent most of the weekend in her bedroom, crying, and doing typical girl things. Girl things that happen when a guy leaves them. It is like Romeo and Juliet, probably, except for the fact that Juliet stays alive for an estimated three weeks after Romeo. And _then_ Juliet dies.

"Come on, Arizona..." Virginia murmured, looking concerned. "It's been a while. Maybe we could go into the main room? There might be a - a football game on, or something. You were doing so well yesterday, what's got you so upset today?"

Arizona looked up, and gazed blearily out the dirty window. "I don't know," she admitted, wiping her eyes roughly. "We're in... in his state. And it reminds me so much of home, with the - the sand, and the sky, and the heat..."

"Oh..." Virginia mumbled, and fumbled for another tissue for Arizona. "Well... try not to let it bug you," she said slowly. "We've still got a _long_ game ahead of us. Like... just a little bit less than _two months_, give or take. So I need you to pull it together. For the _team_."

"The team?" Arizona asked after a brief sniff. "The _team_ is half composed of - of supporters of that _witch_, North Dakota. She can't get away with this. I _know_ she's connected with him getting voted off. I just know it."

"Hey, now, that's actually a pretty serious accusation," Virginia told her. "And it's kind of out-there, to be honest. You saw it, it was a completely random elimination."

"Fuck this..." Arizona murmured, rubbing her forehead. "That's it. I'm going to win this thing. I've decided."

Virginia sat there for a moment, and then slowly asked, "You... are? Wait, you weren't even trying beforehand?"

Arizona shook her head slowly. As Virginia groaned in disbelief, Arizona explained, "I was just... I don't know. Making friends. I was trying to show my friends and family and - and _myself_ - that reality shows aren't that bad. That I could make a difference, and be, like, the force of good or something. But... that was so _idealistic_ of me. I was so naive! It's really a wonder that I've gotten this far..."

Virginia nudged her friend briefly, and smiled, saying, "See, _that's_ the attitude, Arizona. I mean, you _can_ make a difference. This show's not so bad. I think deep down, not even North Dakota hates everybody. I know she's secretly really protective and fond of her sister, and I've noticed her warming up to California for some reason. You've just gotta stay positive."

Arizona nodded in reply to Virginia, but hesitated a moment afterwards. "Um... Virginia?" she asked haltingly. "Could we... the two of us need to make an alliance together. I've been thinking about it for a while, and... you were right. Unless somebody steps up to her, then North Dakota's just going to take over this entire game."

After a moment, Virginia blinked, and said, "Yeah - yeah! Sure, Arizona! I mean, keep this on the down-low for now, we can't really have people making a big fuss about it, but... an official alliance would be great. Finally... something that could stand up to North Dakota."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_159_mp3**

"I don't really want to become a bad guy. I've seen a lot of shows where something traumatic, or awful happens to a good guy, and... and they slowly become bad. That won't be me. Like I said... I have to be a force of _good_ for the team. Me and Virginia. I have to do this for New Mexico. It's what he'd want, and I _know_ he's rooting for me back home."

Arizona

**9:05 AM.**

Behind Team Fabulous's bus, Team Freedom's bus followed on its journey to Holloman AFB, kicking up a hazy orange dust in its wake. The scenery was dull; a flat expanse of sand extended into every direction. Tiny, wispy white clouds hovered high above; a painted landscape of cotton-esque hues. Tiny, dry shrub-like plants dotted this wasteland of dirt and sand. You could almost forget that winter was approaching.

The bus's occupants were growing disillusioned, after having lost three consecutive challenge days. Surely they couldn't lose another, right? That would go against all of the laws. Though there were many in the bus that would be missed if they were kicked off, New Mexico was someone held close by _everybody_.

"Fuuuck, man..." Texas muttered, holding his head and lying on the couch. "Y'all... I'm tellin' y'all, it's _my_ fault that New Mexico's gone. I'm the one that voted for him. He was my _friend_, dude! Why was I so _worried_ about whether or not he'd join our alliance?"

"Hey, that was a random votin' ceremony," Alabama reminded his friend. "It could'a been any one of us that went home. An' New Mexico was a cool dude, sure, but... we can survive without him. We got New York on our side. Right?"

Alabama turned to face New York with an expectant glare. New York, who was sitting at the kitchen table and eating cereal, looked up, and nodded vigorously. "Oh, yeah," he agreed. "Totally. Hey, you guys... y'know, Hawaii's still not with us. I need to talk to him, I don't want us to drift apart."

Texas seemed a little confused. "You mean the tan guy?" he asked. "Why do you want him on your side so bad?"

"Well..." New York began, feeling rather anxious, "I... spent a lot of effort trying to get him to support me over the past month or so, and... I dunno, it'd feel kind of wrong to just throw him aside when I got in an alliance. I don't know why he wanted to stay neutral. Has he said anything to you two about it...?"

Alabama shrugged, and muttered, "Beats me, bro. I think we got enough people on our side, though."

New York stood from his chair, and determinedly said, "Well, I'm gonna talk to him. If I was him, I wouldn't want to be kept out of any sort of alliance."

Texas and Alabama rolled their eyes as New York stepped out of the room, apparently to go search for Hawaii. Eventually, he found him; sitting in his bunk room, listening to music on his own. "Hey," New York said, but Hawaii didn't respond; he had his eyes closed, and was slowly bobbing to the sound of the music. "_Hey!_" New York yelled a little louder. "Hawaii. Buddy. I need to talk to ya."

Hawaii gave New York an annoyed glare, and asked, "What is it?" New York rubbed his hands together excitedly, and proclaimed, "We want you to join our alliance. With Texas and Alabama. If you join us, then the other alliance will have no _chance_ of staying afloat at _all_."

"Oh," Hawaii remarked, turning up the volume of his music once more. "That's weird, yo. I thought you'd of found new friends when you joined up with 'em."

New York blinked, and asked, "What? No, of course not. It's only been, like, a week. I'm still your friend, dude. Don't worry."

Hawaii nodded, though he didn't seem to believe New York. "Close the door on your way out, man," Hawaii told New York, as though he didn't have any more to say to him. "I wanna be on my own for a bit."

For a moment, New York stood there, dumbfounded. He then walked out the room, taking care to close the door behind him.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_160_mp3**

"Hey, yo, I know New York thinks me and him are tight. And on some degree, yeah, I guess we are, but... he was just lookin' for _support_. I _know_ he didn't see me as a friend - he saw me as an _ally!_ And those two things are _not_ the same. One is useful to you. And the other is one that you _actually like__ being with_. And... and after I _almost got voted off_, on the night Colorado got kicked? I just... he doesn't got my back. And if he doesn't got _my_ back, then why should I have his? He can _have_ his problems."

Hawaii

**11:12 AM.**

"So. Rationalism."

Oregon groaned, and fell onto his bed. "Washing_tonnn!_" he moaned, and said, "Do we really need to do this?"

Washington stared at Oregon sternly, and said, "Yes, we do. I need you to be up to the task in this competition. _Especially_ if you're going up against competitors like - like New York, or North Dakota, eventually. So I'm going to give you a few lessons to... try and give some of my knowledge to you. So what do you already know about rationalism, Oregon?"

Oregon rubbed his forehead sleepily, and asked, "I don't know. It's science."

"It's... science," Washington repeated, seeming vaguely amused. "...right. Rationalism is how people think. It's how you think, and how I think. But when people - and scientists, as you say - when people _use_ rationalism, they accrue knowledge. Rationalism is the belief that humans can use _reason_ to figure out... everything. It's about not having bias, and-"

"Washington, I'm sorry, but we don't have time for this," Oregon earnestly said, sitting up. "I mean - yeah, science is cool, but-"

"You're not listening," Washington evidently decided. "You _need_ to know how to _think_ on this show. Chris and the producers make it out like it's a physically challenging show or something, but... deep down? These games are all mental. You need to know who to trust, who _not_ to trust - how to _think_. Even if you're not smart," Washington continued, as Oregon made a move to stand up, "you can still _think_. I know I'm not smart. But I can _think_. That's something my old boyfriend used to say, um... a long time ago."

Oregon sighed, and asked, "Is this what regular couples do? I thought they went, like... bowling, or out to eat, or to the movies. Not discuss 'rationalism' and thinking and stuff like that."

The bus suddenly stopped; outside, short buildings rose. It was clear that they were all in a small town. "Like I said," Oregon continued, quickly combing his hair and adjusting his shirt. "You _clearly_ want to win. I'm not as passionate about it as you! So... don't feel obligated to, like... try and teach _everything you know_ to me. Alright?"

Washington clearly seemed to want to argue otherwise, but Oregon quickly pecked on him on the cheek, and walked out the room to join the others outside.

**11:16 AM.**

Two long black charter buses were parked outside a huge facility near the town of Holloman, New Mexico. Fifteen figures climbed out of the vehicles wearily, as though not too terribly excited about starting the day's challenge. High above, a fall sun shone blindingly, casting its lurid glare over the Southwestern United States. Heat seemed to radiate off the sandy gravel as the contestants stood to stare at what they were facing. Ahead, a huge airfield extended. Over in the distance, a jet seemed to be taking off, roaring loudly as it ascended.

"Welcome to Holloman AFB!" Chris shouted over the din, wearing his douche-y sunglasses. "This is where your challenge will be! Ignore the noise, by the way. We're going underground. Where's Chef?"

Just then, a third bus appeared, with Chef as its driver. He wore both a scowl and camouflage clothing, as though he'd been in the military. Which he may have been. "Hop in!" he instructed, pointing towards the back of the bus with a thick thumb; the bus didn't seem to be like one of the buses the contestants had been accustomed to. "I ain't got all day. Y'all pick yo' seats and don't fight or nothin'."

The eight girls and seven guys all boarded the bus, careful not to incite Chef's rage through some unintentional, yet incredibly offensive act. "Alright. You think you can handle them?" Chris asked, still outside with his hands in his pockets. Chef waved him away, and started driving. "Alright! This ain't '_Teenie-Bopper Reality Show Season Whatever_' no more!" he barked, staring the contestants down through the mirror, and barely keeping his eyes on the road as they approached the military base. "This is _my_ show now. What _I_ say _goes_. Y'all'd better _believe_ that."

Nobody seemed particularly willing to argue against Chef, though his claims were certainly ominous. He sped ahead through gated fences, kicking up a storm of dust behind the long bus. "On yo' left, you will see the airfield!" Chef shouted as the bus was moved through a security checkpoint and into a tunnel. "Don't climb the fence or nothin', 'cause there won't be much left of you if you _do_. Hehehuhuh."

A few of the contestants exchanged glances, as though unsure of whether or not to be amused or terrified of Chef. There was no time to, though; within moments, the bus was on a huge elevator platform, and started descending into the facility. "Yo!" Hawaii shouted, raising his hand. Chef squinted at him with beady little eyes through the mirror, and spat, "Boy, did I _ask_ you to speak?"

"Are we in some kind of research facility?" Hawaii asked, glancing around the dark tunnel the descended through. "Because I played a game when I was a kid, and you were a scientist, but you had a - a crowbar, and there was an alien disaster, and-"

"Quit yo' mumblin'," Chef ordered, clearly not wanting to hear more of whatever Hawaii's tale was. "This ain't no - no _Men in Black_ thing. You ain't gonna find aliens down here. They got all this stuff down here for military stuff."_  
><em>

"Ah," Hawaii responded, still intrigued. Bright fluorescent lights drifted upwards as the bus descended; finally, it came with a halt at the very bottom, as Chef shouted, "Everyone out. We gonna take y'all through one of the trainin' courses."

The prospect of actually going out and doing the same training as someone in the military was instantly frightening, and it clearly showed in the kids. One by one, each of the fifteen remaining contestants hopped out of the transit bus, and squinted into the eerily dark lighting. "Y'know, they could do with some better lighting in here," South Dakota remarked cheerily, only to be glared at by Chef. "Don't touch anything!" he instructed, leading the kids into the facility. "Y'all will be goin' through three stages in the course! First stage's agility! Second stage's strength! Third stage's a combination!"

They entered a large, long room. There seemed to be something of an obstacle course ahead. "Y'all remember your second challenge?" Chef suddenly barked. "The obstacle course one. Stage one is gonna be kinda like that."

"Wow, that seems like forever ago..." Oregon whispered, briefly caught up in reminiscences of Team Victory. Chef's head darted towards the sudden noise, as he yelled, "No talkin'! Yo' two teams - Team Freedom, and - and the other one - y'all are gonna be competin'. First team to get to the end wins."

"Hey!" Virginia shouted, pointing at the entirety of Team Freedom. "They only have seven contestants! We have eight! How is that fair?"

Chef only gave a shrug, indicating that he didn't particularly care. "On the sound o' my whistle, one of y'all is gonna go into that mess," he said with a bored tone. "One. Two. Go."

The shrill cry of a whistle, and they were off - without any sort of previous instruction, Texas and North Dakota took off into the obstacle course, almost knocking each other over in their eagerness.

**11:35 AM.**

Heavy footsteps thudded along thick metal, clanging through - North Dakota dodged a metal beam, and them hopped over a horizontal one - panting her breath, she checked over her shoulder for Texas-

He wasn't there. North Dakota's expression turned to that of worry and confusion, as she ran faster; moments later, she spotted him ahead, climbing a tall wall fitted with pegs and ropes for climbing. North Dakota swore, and attacked the wall, desperately trying to get up faster than Texas.

"Havin' fun down there?" he called, already pulling himself to the top. She let out a low chuckle, and yelled, "Oh, yeah - _definitely_ - it's _so much fun_-"

North Dakota nearly slipped, and grunted with the effort of keeping herself steady; her alliance members depended on her; if she could sway their opinions, maybe they'd be under her control-

BEEP. Texas, standing triumphantly at the top of the course, had pressed the button, signalling for the next member of Team Freedom to run on ahead. North Dakota flipped him off as she finally made it to the top of the climbing wall, and pressed her button, prompting Oklahoma to run into the fray. "Be careful who you're rude to," North Dakota then advised, arms crossed in a defiant gesture. "You might end up _working for them_ someday."

"Yeah. Whatever," Texas muttered, rolling his eyes as he watched Alabama race Oklahoma to the wall. But as he spectated, Alabama seemed to be falling behind, even though he had a clear lead - with a misstep, he stumbled, instantly giving Oklahoma a free ticket to the finish.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_161_mp3**

"Ahahahaha! I beat a _guy_ at the challenge! I'm owning at this game, and I'm doing really well for North Dakota, I think. I can tell she sees me - well, not as an _equal_, of course, but as - as reliable... what's the word? Lieutenant? Something like that. All I have to do is keep making myself seem useful to her."

Oklahoma

**11:41 AM.**

"Go, go, go!" New York ordered, pushing Oregon to go through the course. "C'mon! We can _beat_ them! We're supposed to have the lead!"

Unfortunately, though... there were three boys remaining, and only one girl: Mississippi, who just stood around aimlessly until she would hear the buzzer signalling that it was okay to come through. "I think we're gonna lose..." Washington predicted, glancing over at Chef, who was digging into a Subway sandwich delivered by an intern. Hawaii put his hands on his hips, and said, "Yo, don't be so negative. Let me go. I got this."

The buzzer rang, but it wasn't for the boys; Pennsylvania had just finished the course, meaning Mississippi could come through. "_Damn it!_" New York cursed, bopping himself in the forehead. "Ugh. How'd they get ahead like that? It's not like girls have more agility than guys. Do they?"

Just then, Oregon rang _his_ buzzer; he'd just finished the course. As Washington cheered a congratulations for Oregon, Hawaii advised to New York, "Yo, don't be sexist," and took off into the obstacle course, leaving New York just a little bit irritated with Hawaii. But moments later, there wasn't any time left, because a loud buzzing sound was emitted from the girl's side of the obstacle course.

"The girls win!" Chef announced in between a bite of sandwich. "Score's one to _zero_. Y'all come with me, we got stage two to do."

Slowly, everybody made their way back to Chef, so he could lead them into the next brightly-lit fluorescent room. Wild rumors quickly arose as to the nature of stage two; what did a "strength" challenge really mean? Was Chef going to make them lift weights or something?

As they all trudged forward, Virginia approached Mississippi with one goal in mind. If she was going to make an alliance, then she'd need members, no matter who they were. "Hey," Virginia greeted, giving Mississippi a smile, one that was returned. "I'm glad we won."

"Me too!" Mississippi agreed, gazing around the corridors like she was in some amusement park, rather than an underground military complex. "Even though I was the last person through, it was so cool to hear everybody cheering for me like that..."

"I bet," Virginia acknowledged, paying little attention to what Mississippi was saying. "Hey," Virginia suddenly murmured, bending close to Mississippi after a furtive glance around. It didn't seem like anybody was watching the two. "Have you ever thought of... teaming up against North Dakota?"

Mississippi frowned, and seemed a tad guilty just then. "I mean... well, yeah," she admitted. "But she's just mean, I don't really think she's... someone who wants me kicked off. So... I don't really think about it much. Why are you asking...?"

"Because," Virginia excitedly explained, already growing breathless, "North Dakota is definitely in an alliance with her sister and Oklahoma. Maybe more people. I'm not sure. So... Arizona and I have been working up something of a counter-alliance. An alliance for _good_, and against evil like North Dakota. If you want in... I _suppose_ I could open up a spot..."

A forehead creased above Mississippi's eyes. For the second time on the show, she was offered a position in an alliance, but this time... it was with people she barely even knew. "Um... sorry," Mississippi stammered, avoiding Virginia's gaze, "but I can't really accept... I like what y'all are doin', though, and I support it. But I'm gonna have to sit out on this one."

She then delivered a small, content smile to Virginia, who's face fell in response. "That's fine," Virginia said after a tiny sigh. "Let me know if you ever change your mind, Mississippi."

"_Stop talkin'!_" Chef ordered, pointing straight at Virginia, who froze. "We're here. This is where the second stage's gonna be," Chef explained, pointing at a thick steel door with a possibly even thicker thumb. "Y'all are gonna go in there and do _exactly_ as I say. Alright? Now don't touch _nothin'_ until I say so."

He opened the door with the push of a button, revealing a large, almost completely empty room. "What the heck?" Alabama muttered, looking around. The only things in the room were two huge wooden boxes over on the other end. "There's nothin' here."

Chef rolled his eyes rather rudely, and pointed at the boxes. "Behind those boxes are doors that lead outta here!" he shouted. "First team to push it outta the way wins. Y'all are gonna need yo' whole team to do it, though."

Texas and Alabama ran forward to go ahead and push it, but Chef blew on his whistle, glaring at them. "Don't start 'til I tell you!" he ordered. "Everyone get up by the box. You gotta help yo' own team. Get _goin'!_"

And just like that, the seven boys and eight girls all ran to the boxes, eager to compete in such an easy challenge. They lined up like troops, awaiting Chef's instruction. "On count of three, y'all are gonna _push!_" Chef barked. "Don't push the boxes _towards_ each other. That'd be _dumb_. Just push 'em in the same direction."_  
><em>

"One."

"_Two_."

"_Three! Y'all push hard, now!_"

Instantly, the grunting and shoving started, but the boxes didn't move. "Eugh!" New York groaned, shoving against the huge box. "What's _in_ this?"

Chef started chuckling, and leaned against the wall, checking out his fingernails casually. "Y'all better get to pushin'!" he instructed, smiling to himself. North Dakota heard him, and cried, "Everyone! You all heard him - _push harder!_ We need to get this box out of the way!"

"I'm _trying!_" Pennsylvania yelled, but her tiny form was unable to provide any sort of sustenance to the moving process. "It's too _heavy!_ Is it nailed to the floor or something?"

On the guys' side, things were faring no better. "Guys, we gotta push _together!_" Massachusetts yelled, panting after having another go at the box. "If we don't push together, then we'll never get it moved!"

"Oh, wow, you're expecting us to - ow, _fuck_ - _you expect us to work together?_" New York asked, grunting in pain. "Isn't that a little - a little _optimistic?_"_  
><em>

"He's right, though," Washington insisted, shoving his shoulder into the box. "We all pull back, and then _push forward_ at once. We might be able to get this thing moving so that we can overcome the static friction."

"The static _what?_" Alabama yelled. "Just - _fine_ - y'all, we all push on the count of three, alright?"

There was a pause. "One!" Alabama shouted. "Two! _Three!_"

The boys, in one huge move of teamwork, all pushed forward on the box. There was a shudder, and it _moved_ - sliding roughly over the dull metal floor - they kept pushing forward, and despite having one less contestant, they _won the stage_.

"Team Freedom wins," Chef yelled triumphantly, evidently surprised that the boys were able to pull it together for the challenge. "Not bad. That means the boys an' the girls are tied. The last stage is a combination o' both strength _and_ agility. Y'all are gonna need to be _real good_ for this one."

He then led the teens through the door behind the box. The girls seemed disappointed, while the boys were just glad for the fact that they might not be losing four challenges in a row for their team. The next room was very different from the previous two; it was a maze of obstacles, targets, and ledges. "One person from each of y'all's teams is gonna be goin' through the course," Chef explained as the contestants gaped at the course. "Y'all will be usin' _real guns_."

"Wait - _real guns?_" California yelped, horrified at the thought. "What if I, like, get shot?"

"Only _one person_ from y'all's team is goin'," Chef reminded with a stern glare. "An' it's one at a time. The only shootin' you'll be _doin'_ is at them targets. But these ain't like them air soft guns. These kick like _fire_."

He then placed two actual, real pistols on a metal table near the beginning of the weapons course. "Figure out who's gonna be goin'!" Chef shouted. "Y'all had better pick _fast_."

"Right. Well, I'm going then," North Dakota instantly decided, raising her hand before anybody else could have a say about it. Virginia put her hands on her hips and proclaimed, "Uh, North Dakota, you went first for the first stage. Can't you let somebody else go? It's only fair."

"_Fair_ won't win us the challenge," North Dakota pointed out haughtily. "It'll only pull us down. Let me go. I'm the only one here who's actually fired a real gun."

"You _have?_" South Dakota whispered, absolutely confused, but North Dakota quickly elbowed her in the gut. "Hey, I shot a gun before," Mississippi pointed out, raising her hand. "Can I go? I go huntin' with my dad down near Jackson, and I killed four-"

"No," North Dakota insisted, a wild gleam of ambition in her eyes. "No, you won't be doing the weapons course. I will."

"Hey, if Mississippi can shoot - um... _wild animals,_" Arizona began, though slightly disgusted by that fact, "...then maybe _she_ should go. I don't really see why not, and she did well in the last two challenges..."

Murmurs of agreement arose, even from California and Pennsylvania. "Ugh. _Fine_," North Dakota allowed, seeing that she was clearly overridden. "_Whatever_. But if Mississippi fails us, then she bears the weight of getting voted off."_  
><em>

North Dakota's statement horrified Mississippi, but she seemed determined on going through the course anyway, eager to prove herself to her team. On the boys' side, things were a little trickier trying to pick someone.

"We need to choose _Bama!_" Texas argued, pointing at his friend with a vigorous, shaking finger. "He's done huntin' before!"

"You don't '_do_' hunting!" Washington snapped back, as though that were the base of the actual argument. "You _hunt_. Grammar, dude."

"This is so dumb..." New York muttered, and cast a sideways glance towards the girls. Mississippi held one of the pistols in her hands, feeling its weight. A moment went by, and then New York had an idea. "Why don't we pick Hawaii?" he suggested, turning to him. "He's the only one here who isn't... isn't a part of any kind of alliance. It'd make sense."

Texas grumbled something under his breath, but it was clear he thought it'd be better than having someone like Massachusetts or Washington go for the team. "Fine," he eventually consented with a sigh. "Hawaii, you can go. We're all rooting for you."

Hawaii seemed a little surprised to have been chosen. "Uhhh... yo, guys?" he mentioned. "I don't really know how to shoot. I mean - they're guns, yeah, but-"

"Time's _up!_" Chef shouted at the boys. "You! Scrawny," he said clearly pointing at Hawaii. "You up. Get this gun and go to the startin' line."

Hawaii obliged, as he wasn't particularly ecstatic about inciting Chef's rage one more time. He took the gun, which drooped down in his hands as he was startled by the surprising weight of it, and he stood beside Mississippi, who eyed him with a sort of smug approval. Chef pointed at the course ahead, and barked, "You gotta shoot at all the targets to win. Don't shoot at civilian targets. Go as fast as possible."

A hand rose from Hawaii, and a voice asked, "Hey, um... yo, are we _allowed_ to be shooting guns around like this? Don't we need permits or something?"

"_Boy_, in'erupt me one mo' time, and you goin' to the slammer," Chef shouted, though it was evident that not even he knew what the "slammer" would entail. "Just do yo' challenge and _keep quiet_. Got it? Miss'ssippi. The girl. You go first."

Mississippi stepped forward, heart beating; she stepped up to the line, Chef rose a whistle to his mouth, and blew hard on it-

PHTWEEET-

Mississippi burst into action, raising her pistol at the first target directly ahead of her, and squeezed the trigger hard-

BANG. Her hand flew back as she was almost knocked off her feet; the bullet had hit the arm of the target; technically a hit, but she was still startled at the kickback of the gun. "Keep _going!_" Virginia cheered. "You can _do it!_ Don't stop!"

Mississippi ran ahead, aiming at another target - BANG, and another point was bagged. She slipped around a corner, one hand holding the gun, watching for any more targets to spring up-

One popped up right in front of her face - she yelped, stumbling backwards, pointing the gun-

BANG-BANG. A loud buzzer was sounded. "You shot a civilian!" Chef yelled in anger. "Minus three points! Girl, you in the negatives _already!_"

Mississippi groaned, wiped her eye, and continued through the course, taking more care to hit the targets as she went. But the fact remained that she'd accidentally lost three whole points for Team Fabulous. That wouldn't go away.

By the end of the course, Mississippi had twelve total points for Team Fabulous. She'd correctly hit fifteen targets, shot one civilian, and missed five regular targets, making her accuracy just at seventy-five percent. That seemed alright to the girls, though - they congratulated her when she'd returned, leaving the rest of the challenge completely up to the boys.

"Y'all'd better make more than twelve points," Chef advised the guys. "I'd be a _real_ shame to see them girls winnin' again." Hawaii nervously nodded, though he didn't entirely agree with Chef's sentiments. Getting in place, he readied himself for the challenge beginning - Chef raised a whistled to his mouth-

PHTWEEEEEET-

Hawaii jumped forward at a sprint, raising the pistol, taking aim at the first target-

BANG. He'd prepared himself for the recoil, and bent his arm just at the right time to increase impact time, therefore decreasing the force on his arm. Without so much as a blink, he continued forward, much to the celebration of Team Freedom. "Go, Hawaii, _go!_" Oregon cheered for his old Team Victory teammate. "You can _do it!_"_  
><em>

BANG-BANG-BANG. One by one, targets began to drop as the score went up - four points already. He'd even braced himself for the civilian that popped up just at the wrong time, and absolutely refused to pay the civilian target any attention. North Dakota, watching the spectacle, scoffed, and muttered, "This isn't fair. They already know what's going to happen because we went first."

"I thought you said '_fair won't win us the challenge_'," South Dakota pointed out with an amused grin. "Oh, sorry, forgot it didn't apply then because unfair circumstances were working to your advantage. I see."

North Dakota turned her head slowly, hardly believing the words coming out of her own sister's mouth as she was instantly creamed in a logical argument. But before she had time to issue a response, there was another series of bangs, and then-

"Hawaii gets eighteen points in _total!_" Chef cheered, seeming genuinely happy. "He only missed two targets an' hit _no civilians!_ We got a winner!"

A roar arose from the boys as they realized they _weren't_ going to have lost four challenges in a row. "We _did it!_" Alabama cheered, actually fist-bumping Massachusetts. "_Hell yeah!_ We rock!"

"Which means..." Chef continued, turning to the girls with a devilish grin. "Y'all are gonna go to the votin' ceremony, girls. Y'all'd better hope Chris'll go nice on ya'."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_162_mp3**

"Wow. We actually_ won_. Y'know... maybe the southerners really aren't that bad. Maybe the alliances, or... or _whatever_ they are will just... start cooling down. I... wouldn't actually be opposed to that. We could all be friends! Just the seven of us guys. As long as people don't suddenly burst into religious arguments again, then we should be good."

Massachusetts

**3:14 PM.**

A jet soared, rising up, directly above Team Fabulous's bus, which would be going to a voting ceremony. Things weren't looking too good.

The cracks in the team, which had been growing since the very start of the act, were starting to _gape wide_, growing into immense crevices that not even the most experienced of spelunkers could navigate. An additional alliance had already been made in opposition to North Dakota's. As the voting ceremony drew nearer, the girls grew more and more enclosed, not even willing to speak to their closest friends.

"California," North Dakota said in the middle of the bus's hallway in the afternoon; a late sun started to drift towards the horizon, casting a hazy orange glow on the two girls. "You need to join our alliance. Now."

California seemed somewhat intimidated, and stammered, "Well, I - I mean, I... if you _want_ me to, but - I just think we could be friends, and that'd still be alright for the team. Why can't we do that?"

North Dakota scoffed, and rebutted, "Because - well - okay, we _are_ friends, but you still have to vote with us and stuff. If you join our alliance-"

"Become _friends_ with you," California corrected. North Dakota gave a tiny, reluctant nod, and said, "If you... become _friends_ with us, then we'll give you protection during voting ceremonies. But I need you _now_. We vote in just a couple hours. We're going for Pennsylvania."

"Awww, why her?" California asked, seeming vaguely disappointed. "She's so nice. I painted her nails one time, and she told me about her friends from Team Democracy - why do we have to vote _her_ off?"

"Because," North Dakota responded, and didn't give an answer. When California gave exasperated head movements as to her confusion, North Dakota groaned, and explained, "_Because_, she can't be trusted. Or - or something. I don't know. Because she's _weak_, and we can't have weak people in the game. It's for the good of the team, y'know."

"Oh..." California mumbled, casting her eyes downward. "Well... okay, I guess..." And she dropped the subject for good. Just like that, California was made a member of North Dakota's alliance.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_163_mp3**

"We don't need Pennsylvania because she never wanted to support me. I mean, _sure_ she was good for small votes - sure. But she was never a troop. Too cowardly. Like Nebraska! So... I can replace Pennsylvania with California. And California has a _lot_ of connections in this team. I could get somewhere with this."

North Dakota

**7:01 PM.  
><strong>

"Good evening, Team Fabulous!" Chris greeted flamboyantly, holding a plastic bag of convenience store snacks. "I thought I'd see you eight here tonight! It's nice to be balancing out the teams again. Did you all have fun with Chef?"

The girls nervously exchanged glances when hearing Chris's query; it was obvious to all that they did _not_. Chris raised an eyebrow, yet didn't inquire further. "I've got seven snacks for the lot of you!" he began, holding up a bag of Doritos as an example. "If you stay on the team, you get a snack. If you're kicked off, then you go home. _Forever_. You _never_ get to compete again. This is the only season we're doing that has a theme. And _wow_ am I pooped from all this work."

He seemed to be talking to himself now, yet consulted his chart of names for the ceremony nonetheless. "Arizona!" he began, and tossed her the Doritos he previously held. "No votes. Let's see... Oklahoma? No votes for you, either. You get some Hershey's bars."

Oklahoma caught the candy with a triumphant expression; it seemed she'd survived yet another episode on the show. And this far into the game, that was a real accomplishment. "South Dakota!" Chris continued, and tossed a bag of Skittles her way. "And lastly... Virginia. No votes for the two of you."

A snack was thrown, leaving four contestants: North Dakota, Pennsylvania, Mississippi, and California. "The rest of you got at least one vote!" Chris explained, waving a package of M&M's in the air. "From who, though? That's something I can't say! Just know that these M&M's go... to..."

...

"California. You only got one vote. Enjoy."

The bag of M&M's landed softly in her lap. She briefly wondered who voted for her as Chris yelled, "Alright. Next candy goes to... North Dakota. You got _two_ votes. Interesting!"

North Dakota caught the bag of hard candy with an outstretched hand and a victorious smile. This just left Mississippi and Pennsylvania. "Mississippi!" Chris began with a grin. "You lost the challenge for the girls! A _lot_ of people aren't too happy about that. Not happy at all. And since your joining the show, you haven't even made too many friends! What's up with that?"

"I _have_ made friends!" Mississippi burst out in self-defense, but Chris hushed her with a raised finger. "And Pennsylvania!" Chirs continued, turning to the girl. "You're a target! Uh oh. That means... you've gained a couple of votes. But the _last_ bag of Nutter Butters is for..."

...

...

...

"...Mississippi. You got _two_ votes."

Mississippi breathed out in relief, and caught her bag of tiny cookies, leaving Pennsylvania without anything. Penn sighed, and said, "Well... I should've been expecting it by now. I'm surprised I wasn't voted off earlier."

"The entire _audience_ is surprised you weren't," Chris mentioned. "You shouldn't have even really made it past the first act! Delaware would've been _so_ much more fun to have around on this team. Think of all the drama that'd cause!"

Pennsylvania ignored his comments, and merely started to retreat back to the bus. After all... she really didn't know many people on this team. None of her teammates were here. "Oh, one last thing?" she said before she went to go grab her things. "Um... tell New York I said bye. I kind of owe him for bringing me to the merge, even if he is sort of... _hasty_ in his actions sometimes. So... bye."

An awkward pause, and then - she left. And just like that, Team Fabulous was brought down to seven contestants, down from its original ten.

**7:23 PM.**

The girls of Team Fabulous were just beginning to settle into their rooms on the bus after another tense voting ceremony; there was a _long_ drive to be had, all the way to Pennsylvania. The bus shuddered to life, guided by the intern's hand. In the distance, the glow of Team Freedom's bus could be seen, parked a-ways from the voting ceremony.

Fast-paced footsteps, and then-

"Virginia," Mississippi said, bursting into Virginia's bunk room. She was under her covers already, and reading a book. "Oh, hi, Mississippi," Virginia greeted, setting down her copy of Tender is the Night. "What's up?"

"I need to join your alliance," Mississippi revealed with a determined gaze. "I was almost voted off. North Dakota's alliance is so powerful now. I need to join y'all."

Virginia raised her eyebrows, and a satisfied smile crept over her lips. "Alright," she consented. "Lemme get Arizona. Hey! _Arizona!_"

Her call extended towards the rest of the bus; within moments, Arizona popped around the corner of the door, and seemed a little surprised to see Mississippi just standing there. "Hey, what's up?" Arizona greeted. "What's she need?"

"She wants to join us," Virginia stated flatly, pointing at Mississippi, who merely gave a small smile. "I just - I just want to be on y'all's side," Mississippi explained in between nervous stammers. "Even if I get voted off, I'll be... one of the good guys. So I'm gonna join y'all, and we'll all take down North Dakota together!"

Arizona could hardly believe her ears. "That's - wow, that's great!" Arizona said with a smile. "Okay! We can do that... yes we can. This is great. Mississippi? Welcome to the alliance. I think we could all get far in this game together."

Two buses. Two teams. Four alliances.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, and Pennsylvania.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **StayOuttaMyShed, Winkie4, ElizabethLifeStone, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - Oh, man, I almost completely forgot about the fact that today's Wednesday. I've had this chapter done for about two days now, but I only realized today was an update day. It's still 11 PM, though! I'm good.

Pennsylvania was kicked off! That was a rather obvious choice, really. She had the chance to join up with North Dakota early on, but never really did. She was low on plot after the events of Maine's kicking off. Mississippi could've been a choice, but I've already planned the eliminations a LONG time ago, sooo... I'm just explaining why she happened to go this episode. Also! Originally, I think Pennsylvania was an antagonist, and ended up getting voted off sometime in Act 2 in the very first draft of this fic.

Keep up those reviews and views, and I'll keep up the news! Wow I love rhyming.


	38. Autumnal Ultimatum

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - **(**Alabama, New York, and Texas**)**, **(**Massachusetts, Oregon, and Washington**)**, and Hawaii.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**Arizona, Mississippi, and Virginia**)** and **(**California, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and South Dakota**)**.

**EPISODE 37: AUTUMNAL ULTIMATUM**

_"I like it when you talk. Your hand gestures are so funny sometimes." - Oregon_

**Sunday, November 9th, 2014. Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. 11:39 AM.**

The Northeast is a dead, desolate wasteland of frigid temperatures and six-month long winters. When you're not busy shoveling snow out of your driveways, you'll be faced with huddling indoors to avoid stepping anywhere outside. Sure, there are the big cities of New York, Philadelphia, and Boston, but for a long time, a blanket of snow makes any kind of wintry enjoyment impossible.

2014's winter season would be remembered as one of heavy, heavy snowfall in the north, with frozen temperatures in the south. It wasn't nearly as bad as the polar vortex that ravaged the nation in 2013, but... it definitely something to remember. So, when the two buses of The Fifty State Roadtrip were heading north into Pennsylvania and saw slick gray clouds coating the sky, the claims of snow coming down soon weren't far off.

"I can't believe she's gone..." New York murmured, sitting on the couch of Team Freedom's bus as it headed up the hills. "Who?" Texas asked, confused. New York looked up with bleary eyes, and responded, "Pennsylvania. I mean... well, she _did_ get pretty far past the merge, but... I just wanted to see her again. Once we merge with the other team."

"She was a dead man walkin'," Alabama commented, clipping his toenails rather unabashedly. A sweat-stained sock lay on the floor by the couch as he wrestled with his own legs to be able to clip his nails. "Er - dead woman walkin'. She didn't know anybody in that team. Hell, I'm surprised she wasn't the first one to go. Hmph. I do know that I ain't sure if I'd be able to keep on if I knew my girl Mississippi was kicked off, though."

New York shot Alabama a glare, reprimanding him for his insensitivity. "I just wish I knew what _happened_..." he continued, hands in his lap, looking solemnly down at the floor. "After that challenge, Mississippi should've gotten kicked off. This just means that Pennsylvania never made any friends."

"Hold on, now, spud, don't say that," Texas interrupted, giving New York a serious stare. "I'm sure she got friends. She's got _you_, after all."

New York sighed at that, and lied back on the couch. "I wonder if she even thought of me like that..." he mumbled, closing his eyes. "As a friend. Especially after what I... what I did to Maine, and Delaware, and Connecticut... god, I really just wanna make everything _right_. Y'know? But Massachusetts still hates me-"

"Y'can't reason with queers," Texas reminded New York, though New York scoffed at Texas's statement, and countered, "Hey, my best friend back in Manhattan was a _cross-dresser,_ and he was a great person. The reason Washington and Massachusetts and Oregon oppose the three of us is because _you two_ have been on a - on a crusade to get them kicked off-"

"Hey, that's not true!" Alabama yelled, almost dropping his clippers. "They're alright dudes. And we're not on a - a _crusade_ or whatever. It's just how rude they are!"

New York folded his arms, and muttered, "Yeah, well, telling someone they'll go to hell for something they can't even control is _also_ rude. There are multiple sides to any kind of issue, Bama. If we want these alliances to settle out and cool down, we need to come to peace with them over a few things."

"What we _need_ is Hawaii," Texas said feverishly, seeming excited. "If we get him on our side, that's four votes 'gainst three. There's no way we can lose. An' then, one by one, we _take 'em out_. Bam, _bam, BAM!_ Hah! Oh - y'all, we got any root beer?"

Alabama craned his head up to peer towards the mini-fridge in the kitchen area. "I dunno, Tex, I think you drank most of what we - _holy hell!_"

Just like that, Alabama sprang up, pointing towards the window with a shaking hand. Texas's eyes grew wide.

"It's snowin'!"

True to his word, light chunks of ice fell from the sky, hitting the ground where they quickly melted. It clearly wasn't cold enough for the bits of ice to stick, but the spectacle was evidently entrancing to Alabama, who'd never seen snow before. Texas was similarly awed. New York raised his eyebrows a little, and commented, "Oh, look at that, it's sleeting outside."

"No, dude, that's snow! Y'think we'll get a whole _bunch?_"

"It's sleet," New York explained, hand gestures and all. "Snow is flake-like, and doesn't fall like rain. Sleet is just frozen drops of water; kind of like hail, but smaller. It won't stick, it's much too early into the season."

"Wow..." Texas murmured, peering out the windows of the bus at the wooded landscape around them. "It's like a winter _wonderland..._"

"Yo, Tex! Check this out! Breathe on the window like _this_, an' little ice crystals pop up!"

"Aw, dude - _that is so cool!_ Do it again! _Do it again!_"

New York rolled his eyes as the events of four months ago played over again like a broken record.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_164_mp3**

"Hm. I don't want to seem selfish here, but I do kind of wish I had some... more... intellectual friends. Bama and Tex are cool, sure, but... it's kind of hard to hold a deep conversation with them. Hawaii was better, but _apparently_ he doesn't really trust me for some reason. Which is weird. And I can't talk to Massachusetts, because he's on the _other_ alliance. Maybe I can smooth things over eventually, but... everything I do seems to screw _everything_ up. I thought I was fixing things by starting an alliance with the southerners, but... I don't even really know if _they_ trust me."

New York

**1:20 PM.**

Team Fabulous's bus sped through the hills of southern Pennsylvania, nearing its destination. Chunks of ice pelted the windshield, seriously detrimenting their progress. The same steel-gray clouds covered the sky, but there was a change in mood in the bus, as opposed to Team Freedom's. It was a lot more... grim. A lot more serious. A dark sense of foreboding oppression hung in the air, flowing through the absolute ravine that had torn through this team. Three contestants on one side... and four on the other.

Four contestants met in the middle of the bus's hallway. North Dakota and Oklahoma. Virginia and Arizona. The four glared at each other, daring the others to speak. For the first time on the show so far, a legitimate opposition to North Dakota was forming; a rag-tag team of altruism and self-preservation. Of course, the drama was pretty hard to appreciate when the enchanting tones of Bing Crosby floated through the bus.

"_BUT AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME SO, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!_"

North Dakota craned her neck to peer at the front of the bus, where the intern was driving. He'd turned on Christmas music. "Jesus, it is _way_ too early for Christmas music..." North Dakota groaned, and then faced the two girls that had accosted her. "Now what is it that you two want?"

"_WHEN WE FINALLY KISS GOODNIGHT, HOW I'LL HATE GOING OUT IN THE STORM!_"

Arizona glanced nervously at the front of the bus, where the music originated. She was beginning to really regret singing that song for the challenge back in mid-September. Virginia stepped forward, and quickly stated, "We... we just need to tell you that what you're doing is wrong. The way that you've been controlling your sister and - and Oklahoma just isn't-"

"Oklahoma is with me voluntarily," North Dakota quickly responded, casting a bored glance to her ally. "Right?" And Oklahoma nodded stiffly, glaring at Virginia and Arizona. "And my sister is my _sister_," North Dakota continued. "So keep your nose out of family matters."

There was a brief moment of silence, broken by Arizona quietly murmuring, "But you're with California, aren't you? Don't lie."

"_BUT IF YOU REALLY HOLD ME TIGHT, ALL THE WAY HOME I'LL BE WARM!_"

"And so what if she supports me?" North Dakota countered, casting her nose up at Arizona. "It's _her choice_. I'm so very _sorry_ she wasn't willing to join your little resistance movement, or whatever it is, but she happens to support people who actually have a _chance_ at winning."

"You _know_ she doesn't know what you're really like!" Arizona protested, horrified to discover a confirmation of California's new loyalty. "North Dakota, you can't just _manipulate_ and _control_ people like that! Don't you have a conscience? Doesn't this seem _wrong to you?_"

"It's _justified_," North Dakota determinedly declared. "And _you_ really need to get out of here. Move. We're going to watch Frozen again." And just like that, North Dakota roughly pushed aside Virginia and Arizona, with Oklahoma following in glee at being considered as second-hand man to North Dakota. The autumnal ultimatum was reached; the alliances, set.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_165_mp3**

"It's really breakin' my heart to hear someone have such _little respect_ for other people. North Dakota is just - she's _horrible_. I get that winning means a lot to her, and that this _is_ a contest, but... _still_. We're freakin' _kids_. Most of us haven't even taken pre-calculus yet, on account of missing an entire semester of school. I guess what scares me most is the fact that... I've only been seventeen for less than a month, but I still gotta face this... this incredibly stressful situation that most _adults_ will _never_ have to face in their _lives_."_  
><em>

Virginia

**2:44 PM.**

The two buses were parked outside a small town on the southern border of Pennsylvania. Light pieces of ice continued to steadily fall, melting into the ground and making it incredibly slippery. Chris, wearing a scarf and a heavy Canadian jacket, greeted the fourteen contestants with a smile. "Hey, kids!" he greeted with a wide smile. "Enjoying the weather? I hope so, 'cause you guys are gonna get a _lot_ more of it from here on out. Welcome to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania!"

He then cast his arms all around him, as though expecting the fourteen contestants to suddenly and inexplicable be awed at the desolation around them. "It's cold," Hawaii sniffed, hands deep into his pockets. It was clear he hadn't thought of packing for the chilly weather. Chris shrugged, and said, "This is nothing. Wait until it gets below freezing. See, when you're from Canada, like me, you _learn_ to pack more than a flower-themed shirt, a couple tank-tops, and a ton of shorts."

Everyone giggled, as that had been Hawaii's exact wardrobe for the entirety of the season so far. "Hey!" Hawaii protested, though a little amused at his own choices. "You can't _buy_ warm clothes on the islands. They don't sell them."

"Regardless," Chris continued, waving a hand casually, "we've got a challenge to get on with. As probably most of you know, Gettysburg was a pivotal battle in the Civil War! The Union troops successfully stopped the Confederate soldiers from further invading into Pennsylvania, turning Robert E Lee's army around back south. About eight thousand people _died here!_"

The air suddenly became very still. Mississippi nervously glanced at the ground below her, as though expecting to see a specter's hands reaching up to grab her feet. "No ghosts, though," Chris disclaimed, "though that might've been a fun challenge to do for Halloween. Oh, man... a ghost-themed challenge, where the contestants are paranormal investigators - hold on, I've got to write that down, I could use that for an upcoming challenge..."

Chris quickly whipped out a notepad, and started frantically scribbling on it. He then wrote a little c next to his idea, and then circled that c. "There," he gasped. "Idea secured. Nobody steal that. We're totally going to use it."

A brief silence. Chris cleared his throat, and announced, "We're going to do another war challenge! I know, I know, I said I wouldn't do another one, but... things are a little different. This _will_ be the last war challenge of the entire show! This time, we've only got _two_ teams! Just like the Civil War, huh?"

The general mood was growing more awkward by the minute as Chris's blatant lack of respect for an event responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths grew ever-more obvious. Nevertheless, he plowed on, stating, "Just like the last two times, you will all be given air-soft guns with anesthetically coated pellets. Each team will have a territory it must defend, but this time, it's just an all-out war. The territory to capture the other team's territory wins! No liberation this time."

Chris proudly stood there with his hands on his hips, facing the fourteen contestants with a smug grin. "You'll have only thirty minutes this time!" he suddenly informed them. "So you kids need to get in action pronto. You'll have until 3:30. And _try_ to dress warm next time, guys."

Again, glances were directed towards Hawaii. Washington, who was covered in heavy winter attire complete with a scarf made by Oregon, gave Hawaii a pat on the back, brushing off the pieces of ice that had fallen on him. "Yeah, thanks," Hawaii replied with a bemused smile, still shivering. Chris kicked open a huge metal chest, revealing the guns. "Take your pick!" he advised them all. "There are still, like, forty-two total guns in there back from when we did this challenge for the first time in August. Should be plenty."

Once everyone had their pick, Chris clapped his hands loudly, and yelled, "Team Fabulous, your base is in the center of the town! Team Freedom, you guys are at a farm about half a mile from here. There should be signs on the way there if you have trouble finding it. Once everyone's in position, I'll sound the buzzer, signalling the challenge beginning. Get going, kids!"

**2:53 PM.**

The sleet, unrelenting in its quantity, continued to gently cascade over the entire town of Gettysburg. The girls' team tromped ahead; though it was, indeed, a team, it certainly wasn't a unified, connected one. Eventually, Virginia decided to break the silence by stammering, "Girls, for this challenge, I think we need to put aside our-"

"Keep quiet," North Dakota interrupted, giving Virginia a glance. "If we want to absolutely cream the boys this challenge, then we're going to need to put aside our differences. Look up there."

As Virginia mumbled under her breath that she was planning on saying that anyway, North Dakota pointed ahead, towards the center of the town. On the cold, wet road, a large red X had been painted, with arrows pointing at it. "That's gotta be it..." South Dakota whispered, her breath coming out like a cloud of smoke. "So, um... what's the plan today?"

"We hold out," North Dakota decided abrasively. "Too many times I've been the one to attack first, and I ended up paying the price for it. So... today, we're going to stay right where we are. We take strategic positions, and guard _everything_."

"Good to know that was a _team decision_..." Arizona muttered, earning her another glare from North Dakota. "Well, I don't hear anyone _else_ providing ideas," North Dakota snapped. "So _someone's_ got to make the decisions. Up here."

The seven of them then took their guns and went to hold position; Oklahoma climbed on top of the roof of a small store, whereas South Dakota and Arizona both kept watch on the borders of their newly-formed base. The general idea was that the boys would attack first, and the girls would be ready for them. This was not the case.

**3:00 PM.**

Seven boys walked towards their designated farm house, which was only a little distance from the town of Gettysburg. The chilling specks of ice that fell from the sky were beginning to let up, but the air around them was still as frigid as ever. Couple that with the fact that the ground was still very wet, and you had yourself a miserable experience, _especially_ for the contestants who weren't used to such "extreme" conditions.

"It's friggin' freezin', y'all..." Texas reminded everyone for the umpteenth time that day. After the initial shock and subsequent thrilling joy at finding out that ice was indeed falling from the sky, being forced to walk half a mile in the cold had begun to tone down his excitement. "Yeah, we know," Massachusetts replied, a little irritated. "We're almost there. Maybe you guys should've packed some warmer clothes."

"I wasn't even plannin' on gettin' this far in the game," Alabama suddenly announced. "So I expected to get outta it by, like, October at the latest. But naw, I gotta trudge 'round with these _frozen feet_ - _damn_ it is cold!"

"I had no idea you wanted to be voted out," Washington remarked cryptically. Alabama grew a little defensive, and protested, "Well - now, I didn't really mean it like that. Now that I'm here, I might as well try to win, right?"

The boys walked in silence until they finally reached their location. It was a dreary place; paint was peeling off the sides of the barn, and the entire area smelt like age-old mildew. "_This_ is it?" New York asked, looking around and holding his assault rifle limply. "I would've expected something much nicer."

"It's a _barn_, what do you expect?" Massachusetts asked, peeking inside a rotten storage crate. "Ew. What do we do?"

Washington sighed, and said, "Well, knowing North Dakota, she'll probably try to attack first chance she gets, so-"

A voice suddenly cried out over the entire town, electronically magnified, "_This is Chris! The challenge begins now! You have thirty minutes!_"

"Shit, guys, get into place..." Hawaii muttered, peering down at the town. "They could be marching here right _now_ for all we know. What do we _do?_"

"Like I was saying," Washington said simply, "We can't stay here, or she'll take out all of us. We need to hide, and get a good position. Maybe one guarding the way over here. And then we _ambush them_."

"I like that plan!" Oregon said with a grin. Texas rolled his eyes, and said, "Well, great, egg-head, but where are we gonna hide? An' we need to do this fast, y'all, 'cause she's probably marchin' here right now."

"Follow me!" Washington yelled, and pointed at a cluster of trees near the town. "Right over there. If North Dakota and her - her team comes for us, then she should pass right by there. She won't be expecting to be ambushed before she even gets to the farm. We'll have the element of surprise."

As Team Freedom resolvedly marched towards the grouping of trees near the town, Oregon leaned towards Washington, and whispered, "Y'know, Team Fabulous isn't entirely unified under North Dakota. From what I can tell, there's some people who don't like her. Like - remember Arizona? At one of the rest stops on the way here, she told me-"

"Don't worry, I know," Washington reassured his boyfriend. "But in a military-esque challenge like this, people are going to typically do what North Dakota says, just because she's so good at it. After all, Team Dakota never lost any of these war challenges. I am a little impressed that Arizona _has_ managed to resist her influence somewhat."

The two walked in silence next to each other, guns held limply at their sides. Both were dressed quite warmly for the weather, even going so far as to wear the scarves Oregon had knitted over the course of the last few months. Eventually Washington spoke, saying, "Oregon, I really do think you need to know how to think. Let me just - just _tell_ you a few things about, like, rationalism. It'll help you, I'm sure of that. Sometimes I think you're just coasting through this entire game."

Oregon seemed ready to object, but Washington continued, "And what happens if I get kicked off? You'll be all on your own. Sure, you might have Massachusetts, and probably Hawaii, but... I want you to win the show."

At that, Oregon laughed. "Washington, I think your expectations are _way_ over your head," Oregon told him. "And I'm _fine_. But sure, rattle away as much as you like about science and stuff. I like it when you talk. Your hand gestures are so funny sometimes."

Washington, slightly taken aback at that, scoffed, yet persisted. "Alright. So. Like I was saying. Rationalism is how you _think_. It's about drawing conclusions and looking at every possible outcome. It's most _certainly_ about having no bias, and in being objective about everything. And _yeah_, I guess it is sort of connected to a lot of science, which requires having no bias and being objective."

"I knew it," Oregon remarked. Washington nodded awkwardly as their approached their destination, and continued, "Now, on this show, you need to really observe other people. See how they act, and how they react to what you say. What are their values? Their motives? Right now, I think everyone wants to win, but someone like - yeah, like North Dakota would be _much_ more persistent in her conquest. Whereas someone like Texas might be motivated to just kick you off based on your sexual preference."

Washington walked in silence for a moment, evidently brooding over something. "He's not really that bad," Oregon said slowly. "I'm not even sure why we're allied against them." To that, Washington shrugged, and said, "Well, we have to work with them on this challenge no matter what, so I... guess there's no say about it. Just let me know if they start harassing you or something."

"But they haven't. That's my point, Washingt-"

"Yo!" Hawaii suddenly yelled. "Quiet down, we're here. We gotta keep quiet in case they decide to suddenly march out of here."

The entire team laid low, hidden by the large shrubbery and tall trees. The occupants of the town of Gettysburg had been instructed to stay in their homes for about thirty minutes; obviously, CampTV paid a _lot_ of money for these big challenges.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_166_mp3**

"I do think I've got a pretty good chance at winning the game. I mean, out of everybody on my team, I do. So I'm in no way forfeiting any of that. I just want to take Oregon _with_ me to the finals. Then we split the prize money, and... live happily ever after? I'm not sure. I honestly haven't thought much further than that."

Washington

**3:14 PM.**

"This is boring..." California mumbled, inspecting her long, painted fingernails as the rest of her team stood around aimlessly, waiting for the boys to attack. "It's been like an _hour_, you guys... I wonder what happens if there's a tie."

"Well, for starters, it's only been fifteen minutes," Oklahoma snapped, eyes peeled for any suspicious activity outside of the town. "And if there's a tie, _both_ teams go to the voting ceremony. So we're better off doing something than nothing. North Dakota, what do you say?"

North Dakota's patience was clearly running thin. "I say we get out of here..." she muttered. "It's been too long. They're planning something. Probably back at their base. We bring all the firepower we can, and we _destroy_ them. Team! We're rolling out!"

"Oh, already?" Mississippi asked after a brief yawn. "I was gettin' used to sittin' _riiight_ here. Y'all are sure it's safe?"

"Sure," North Dakota answered, climbing down from her perch on a building roof. "It's better than doing nothing. C'mon, we've got some boys to kill."

The girls all cheered at that; though they were certainly _very_ far from being anything that resembled a unified team, there was one thing that was for sure: the boys were the enemy. And just like that, the girls were headed out, marching straight for the boys' barn. This is probably the one moment in the entire show that the entirety of Team Fabulous was almost unified in its goal.

"Oh, my gosh, this is so much fun," California babbled, holding her pistol like you would a toy gun. "It's like we're going on a slumber party to a friends' house."

Arizona stared at California, giving her a funny expression. "Callie, that is a pretty bizarre comparison..." Arizona mumbled, yet grinning at the same time. "I think it's a little different when our goal is to shoot all of our 'friends' in the face."

"I don't know, that kind of fits my slumber parties," California said with a small frown. "We always had these _huge_ Nerf gun wars with my friend Ellie's little brothers, and my mom would bring brownies, and we'd have fast food. But that was like in fifth grade. Ellie got arrested like in March."

Another stare from Arizona. If she had been drinking something, Arizona might have done a spit take. "Oh - that's horrible!" she exclaimed. "What for?"

"I dunno. She did coke, I think. Oh, my gosh, I miss my mom - do you think I could get a car from my parents if I win the show? I was thinking of maybe an Audi, like one of the newer-"

RATTA-TAT-TATTA-TAT-TATTA

California fell without so much as a yelp, knocking down Arizona. Others began to fall; Mississippi landed with a thud moments later. "_Go back!_" North Dakota screamed, running away from the scene and abandoning her team. "_Go baaack!_"

Arizona groaned, and looked around; she saw Virginia unloading her assault rifle into the trees, shrieking as she did so; over nearby, Oklahoma was dragging South Dakota's limp body to behind a bush. Arizona pushed California off her as gently as possible, and searched around for her gun. She found it almost three feet, and took it.

"_Arizona! Get down!_" Virginia yelled. Arizona was about to shout a response, but in that very instant, Virginia was hit in the head with a pellet; the anesthetic worked instantly. Arizona yelped, and crawled to the bush, where Oklahoma was.

"What the _hell's going on?_" Arizona cried to Oklahoma, who was cowering beside South Dakota's body. "Where's North Dakota?"

"_I don't know!_" Oklahoma cried, looking down. The two of them were on a rather steep embankment; below, a stream ran. The road that went to the barn became a bridge. "I don't know," Oklahoma repeated, regaining her composure. "But we've got to get out of here. I - here, lemme see if they've stopped firing-"

Oklahoma stood to peer ahead, despite Arizona's frantic tugs at her arm.

"Oh-"

BAP, and Oklahoma was hit in the chest. She yelped - took a step back - a foot went over the edge - she fell-

Arizona shrieked in horror, watching Oklahoma tumble from her perch down the steep hill. "_Oklahoma!_ Chris - somebody - stop the challenge!"

The boys had seen Oklahoma disappear. Tentatively, New York lowered his rifle, and called, "Hey, what's the matter!"

"I - Oklahoma fell! She's down there somewhere!"

"How deep is it?"

"Like... like ten feet? I don't know. She's out cold from the anesthetic."

Just then, Chris's voice rang out, "_Alright, stop the challenge, stop the challenge. Boys, you win just because I said so, and you would've won anyway. We've got an injury. Is she dead?_"

Arizona realized Chris was speaking directly to her. "Um - no, I don't think so!" she yelled, hoping that wherever he was, Chris could hear her. "But she fell pretty hard. _This_ is why we shouldn't use anesthetic..."

"It numbs the pain," Chris informed her, walking up and peering over the edge. Arizona was shocked to see him appear so suddenly, but it seemed that Chris had merely stepped out of a tent a short distance away; the place where the interns were located, and the surveillance was set up. "At least she's not dead," Chris said with a cheery smile. "We'll get her patched up and sent to the nearest hospital soon as possible!"

The boys began to slowly approach, quite nervous about what had happened. "Um... is she going to be okay?" Oregon asked, peeking at where Oklahoma had landed. A siren began to sound; an ambulance must have been approaching. "Sure!" Chris responded, looking over his chart. "She'll probably _fine_. Come on, kids, back in the buses. Injured contestants aren't good for the show, but dead contestants are even worse! We should consider ourselves _lucky_."

This revelation seemed to severely disconcert everybody. "Uhhh... yo, I think we need to be more concerned 'bout her condition," Hawaii slowly suggested, nervously staring at Chris. "'Cause she could've broken her legs, or busted her head or somethin'-"

"Nonsense, she's fine!" Chris loudly proclaimed, and pointed down at Oklahoma, where paramedics were arriving to retrieve her. "See? One hundred percent fine. Now come on, we've got to get to the buses. You don't want _Chef_ to know you've been lagging behind, do you?"

Obviously not, so the remaining contestants made the short journey back on the buses, once the girls who had been shot were successfully administered the antidote.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_167_mp3**

"Hmph. I heard about what happened afterwards. It was real wrong of how Chris just didn't even _care_ about what happened to Oklahoma, as long as she wasn't _dead_. What kind of person _is he?_ Well... okay, he had to have been sadistic enough to host the last five or six or - or _however many seasons_ there have been of Total Drama Whatever, but... it's just downright cruel. Even if Oklahoma is a blind supporter of North Dakota, I _still_ wouldn't wanna see her get hurt."_  
><em>

Virginia

**4:11 PM.**

The two buses were stopped outside a gas station in the middle of the woods of Pennsylvania. A late Fall sun already began to dip towards the horizon; after daylight savings time had been enacted on the first of November, the evenings seemed to be growing much, much longer. The sleet had long since stopped, but its faint, icy traces hadn't left the air just yet. The low, ominous feeling still presided with all the contestants; Oklahoma still hadn't returned from the hospital.

As Arizona thought of what to purchase with her meager allowance, she noticed California on the other side of the aisle. "Hey! Callie!" Arizona whispered, seeing her chance. California looked up, and smiled brightly. "Oh, hey, Arizona! What's up?"

"Why _are_ you supporting North Dakota?" Arizona asked harshly. Whatever camaraderie the two had previously shared was gone. "Oh... um..." California mumbled, "Well - she's not as bad as most people think. She's nice, sometimes! She listens to me."

"Does that make up for the way she _ran away_ from us when the shit hit the fan?"

California seemed a bit disgusted by Arizona's language, yet stammered, "I think you're... blowing this way out of proportion. See - like I said, she's not that bad! I mean, sure, sometimes she can get a little cranky, but she's always in it for the _team_."_  
><em>

"She's in it for herself..." Arizona muttered, having made up her mind. "Callie, you need to at least _think _about getting away from that girl. She's bad news. Oklahoma was an _avid_ supporter of North Dakota, and look at what happened to her."

"I - _what?_" California yelped. "That - those were _completely_ different! Her support of North Dakota was completely separate from how she fell! That could have happened to any _one _of us! Arizona, _please_, think about what you're saying."

Arizona's expression softened slightly, but she didn't say anything after that; only giving a polite smile, and going about her business. California stood there, frowning at where Arizona had been, when a voice suddenly spoke out next to her. "Y'know, we're going to have to vote off Oklahoma."

California jumped in shock, and turned to find North Dakota directly across from her in the aisle, reading a magazine she'd bought. "I - um - what?" California stammered in response. North Dakota smiled slyly. "Oklahoma. We need to vote her off. She's _injured_. I heard Chris talking about it. Said she had a broken arm."

"Oh..." California answered, and seemed visible worried. "But she's been such a nice supporter - er, I mean... a good friend! Why would we, uh... vote her off?"

"Because she's not useful to us anymore."

That seemed to be the only reason she had. North Dakota walked right off, chewing bubble gum and reading her magazine as she did so. California whined to herself, and quickly strolled over to South Dakota, who seemed to be searching through the refrigerator for the drinks. "South," California said quietly, "do you know about North Dakota trying to vote off Oklahoma? Did she tell you?"

South Dakota froze, and gave California a guilty look that meant "yes". "Yeah..." South Dakota mumbled, lifting a bottle of Sprite from the drinks cooler. "She, um... she did. It's just _awful_. Oklahoma was one of our earliest supporters, and... our last supporter from the original Team Dakota. Oklahoma doesn't deserve this, even if she _did_ break her arm."

California nodded curtly, and then looked away, just in case North Dakota was watching the two discuss what had happened. "So... are we going to vote for her?" California asked. "If we don't... then North Dakota will know."

South Dakota didn't answer. It was clear she hadn't thought of it. When no response came, California sighed, picked up a pack of minty gum, and went to the cashier to pay.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_168_mp3**

"I realize some of my alliance-mates may have forgotten what the purpose of the alliance _is_. The _purpose_ is to get ahead in the game. If Oklahoma is out of action, then she has no use for us. None at all. I'm sorry, but she had it coming. She _can't_ be the star of the show. She should've known that from the very moment that Chris called her name to be on my team."

North Dakota

**7:03 PM.**

"Arizona!"

A bag of Cheetos went flying.

"California!"

Miniature packets of M&M's landed on hard, cold pavement. A brief pause.

"South Dakota!"

A small Poweraid bottle was thrown, and evidently collided with a face. A yelp from South Dakota, and a loud laugh from Chris.

...

"The rest of you have gotten at least one vote!" Chris shouted, eyeing them all with a serious expression. "_Very_ impressive, you four. When I call your name... you will continue to be on the show. For just a _few more days_ at the _least_. Mississippi. One vote."

A plastic bag of Oreos landed in Mississippi's lap. She sighed in gratitude. A pause, and then, "Virginia! One vote for you!"

Candy was thrown for her. It was now down to North Dakota and Oklahoma. There was little doubt as to who was going home that night. Oklahoma had joined back up with the teams, seemingly okay, but her arm was in a sling, and she had a number of cuts and bruises on her face. To find herself standing up there with just North Dakota as a possibility to be voted off was an absolute shock to her, though.

...

...

...

"Yeah. North Dakota? You're safe. You _did_ net yourself two votes, however! So... nice job on that?"

North Dakota rolled her eyes. This meant that Oklahoma got three votes. "Sorry, Oklahoma!" Chris shouted, and pointed towards the buses. "You got votes from Mississippi, North Dakota, and California! You're going home."

There was a gasp. South Dakota's eyes went wide, as confusion overtook Oklahoma's expression. "Huh?" she asked, eyes narrow. "Wait - _North Dakota_?You... you _voted for me?_"_  
><em>

North Dakota shrugged, rolled her eyes, and reassured, "Don't worry, Oklahoma. If I win, you'll get some of the money. Or something like that. What _I'm_ more concerned about is the fact that my own _sister_ didn't vote with us. And what's up with Mississippi voting with us?"

Mississippi gave a defensive shrug, and stammered, "I - nobody told me who to vote for! I just voted 'gainst Oklahoma 'cause she was on the other team..."

South Dakota was still being glared at by her own sister. "I'm - I was... confused!" South Dakota yelped, horrified to find her sister opposing her. "I didn't know who we were supposed to vote _off_, sis!"

"And let me guess. You were one of the two who voted for _me_, then."

"I _wasn't!_" South Dakota cried. "North! _Think about it!_ Those were - those were probably from Arizona and Virginia! Right?" South Dakota then desperately turned to Virginia and Arizona, who both guiltily nodded. "_See?_" South Dakota asked. North Dakota did _not_ seem convinced.

"I'm still... _really_ confused as to why I was voted off by my _own_ friends," Oklahoma said, trying to get North Dakota's attention. North Dakota groaned, clearly fed up with just about everybody. "Ugh. Oklahoma! _Look at yourself!_" North Dakota ordered, pointing at Oklahoma's sling. "You. Are. _Injured_. How am I supposed to run an alliance with someone who's _injured?_ The answer to that is I _can't_."

A long pause.

"You're sick," South Dakota muttered under her breath. Oklahoma nodded, in tears. "I _supported you!_" Oklahoma blubbered, tears beginning to stream down her face. "You were my _friend!_ How could you just - just _throw me aside like this__?_"

"We were never friends," North Dakota revealed, disgusted. "Now go pack your shit and get out of here."

And just like that, Team Fabulous was knocked right down to only six contestants. Thirteen remained on the show.

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Oklahoma.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **StayOuttaMyShed, Hugh Takinamee, Guest, ElizabethLifeStone, and Curcle!

**aspiringAnimator** - That's that, I guess. Oklahoma's gone. She's one of two contestants to get injured while on the show, and then immediately voted off. I hope I gave her an interesting-enough plot for her to get this far. She was an avid supporter of North Dakota from about midway in Act 1, and this became her own downfall. Now, the only two surviving members of Team Dakota are North and South Dakota.

There's only two more episodes left in this act! After that, we'll have an Aftermath, and then the teams will merge for the last time. I am _really_ liking the way this act has turned out, by the way. The team dynamics make so much sense, and flow so well. Writing for longer is coming a lot easier to me. I'm actually voluntarily writing 14,000 words a week! _GO ME!_

This puts The Fifty State Roadtrip at about 215,000 words. That's a 430 page book, if you cram 500 words onto one page. Oh, my god. I have literally written more than some of the Harry Potter books within the span of four months. FOUR MONTHS. Maybe I should become a professional writer.


	39. Back to School

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - **(**Alabama, New York, and Texas**)**, **(**Massachusetts, Oregon, and Washington**)**, and Hawaii.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**Arizona, Mississippi, and Virginia**)** and **(**California, North Dakota, and South Dakota**)**.

**EPISODE 38: BACK TO SCHOOL**

_"Turn up for history, am I right?" - Chris_

**Wednesday, November 12th, 2014. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. 6:34 AM.**

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_169_mp3**

"I kind of remember another reason for why I wanted to do this show. I _hated_ waking up early in the morning for school."

Oregon

**6:35 AM.**

The two buses, stationary in their location, peacefully rested, holding their thirteen occupants. A gentle breeze rushed through the air of Oklahoma, a wind tinged with the call of a fleeting Autumn. The ground around the buses was strewn with dead leaves, bundled together in the location they fell from the orange-brown trees above. Some suggest that Fall is a month of death; dying embers, dying trees, a dying sun... but the opposite is true. With Fall comes the promise of a new morning; of a new year, and the life that's to come.

New York, lying on his bunk sound asleep, had his covers pulled all the way up to his head to keep in the warmth, a tactic he'd developed after spending a few nights in his aunt's apartment in Brooklyn without any heating. Originally, he shared his bunk room with Colorado, New Mexico, and Hawaii, but only Hawaii was left. The bus was all silent. Outside, a blue jay sung with the promise of the rising sun. And then... New York opened his eyes, and groggily wondered why the bus wasn't moving.

"_GOOD MOOORNING, CONTESTANTS! RISE AND SHINE!_"

Hawaii yelped, and jumped up in his bed, crashing his noggin into the roof. "Fuck..." he groaned, and almost fell out of bed. "What's goin' on?"

New York didn't respond, and merely climbed out of bed, as the voice outside continued, "_IT'S TIME FOR SCHOOL!_ _Again! Only this time, it's a little different!_"

Elsewhere, groans were let out in the other parts of Team Freedom's bus. Getting up at six AM was, for most contestants, a relic of their Sophomore year of high school, which was about six month ago. As New York got dressed, Hawaii determinedly thrust himself deeper under his covers, and loudly moaned, as though that would change Chris's mind about the day's challenge.

Moments later, New York was stepping out of his bunk room, blearily glancing around. Massachusetts was already up, and cracking the contents of an egg into a frying pan. Texas was also awake, but he'd promptly sat down on the couch, and fell back asleep within seconds. New York sighed, and sat beside Texas, dreading the challenge, whatever it might be. Clearly, it would be school related again.

One by one, the other boys began to awake, stepping into the main room and either eating cereal, or staring blankly off into space. Eventually, Chris was forced to yell, "_Boys! Get your butts out here. We have a challenge to do, whether you like it or not._"

They filed out of their now yellow bus, which had been painted as such for the challenge. Chris was standing with a bullhorn and a cocky grin with Chef by his side. A few of the girls were already outside long before the guys; North Dakota, her sister, and California were up and ready to go. "Hello, for the contestants who've actually come outside today!" Chris declared, surveying them all. "Today's gonna be a fun challenge. Has anyone realized where we are?"

California peeked behind Chris, and suggested, "Um... it looks like another school, except it's a lot colder here, and everything's dead..."

"Correct!" Chris shouted, giving California a little pat on the head. "Gooood job. We're going to school today! Y'see, the _producers_ are _concerned_ that none of you are getting enough _education_. Or something like that. They want you to... uh... go to school for a day. Like a normal kid! So I said, 'Alright, sure', but... I'm turning it into a challenge!"

A groan escaped from Hawaii. "Yo, can't we just have a water balloon fight or somethin'?" Hawaii asked, glaring desperately at Chris. "We haven't done a water balloon fight before. I wanna do that."

"_Shoosh!_" Chris ordered. "_I_ pick the challenges, Hawaii. Now stay quiet. Today will work on a point-based system. You get points for doing good stuff! And you lose points for doing _bad stuff_. Capiche? The team at the end of the day with the most points total wins!"

That seemed alright to everyone. Chris surveyed the contestants, and asked, "Is everyone here?"

By now, all thirteen contestants had presented themselves before Chris, though clearly through a great deal of willpower. "Excellent!" Chris exclaimed with an exaggerated smile. "If you'll all follow me!" He then marched into the school; the contestants following him with a depressed mood. "Today, the lovely Oklahoma City Board of Tourism has let us use this abandoned school!" Chris announced, waving around at the cobwebbed halls. "Or, at least, I _think_ it's abandoned. There could be _ghooosts!_ Heheh."

Mississippi shuddered, stepping away from a spiderweb. "In here!" Chris then said, leading them into a classroom. "We'll be simulating a full day of Junior year for you all! First period's Physics. Have any of you taken physics yet?"

A number of head shakes were exchanged. Chris's smile grew wider. "Excellent!" he said. "You'll be able to learn _all about it _from me. Call me Mr. McLean, by the way."

They walked into the classroom, and Chris turned on the lights, squinting at the fluorescent brilliance. "Oh, wow," he remarked, and promptly took his seat at the teachers' desk, whereas the thirteen contestants all sat down in the number of school desks scattered around the classroom. Some were toppled onto their sides, while others perfectly fine, as though it was just a regular day of class. Chris, sitting with a smile at his giant teacher's desk, smiled broadly, and declared, "Wow, this is cool. I am _liking this_. Welcome to Physics 101! I'm Mr. McLean!"

Nobody responded. It was way too early in the morning to actually maintain your train of thought. There wasn't even enough time to make a quick cup of coffee. Chris's smile receded somewhat, and he stood, pointing at an aging chalkboard. "Today we're doing _Physics_," he repeated sternly. "Physics is like... it's like... gravity. Yeah. Does anybody know what gravity is?"

It didn't seem like even Chris knew the exact definition of gravity. Hawaii yawned, raised a hand, and said in a bored tone, "It's Isaac Newton."

"Yes!" Chris yelled, recognizing the answer to be correct. "Good job, Hawaii. It is _Isaac Newton_. That is gravity, I think."

Evidently, Chris didn't remember much from his high school physics classes, because he pulled up a dusty old Physics book from inside his desk somewhere, and cracked it open. "Let's see... let's see..." he murmured to himself as the contestants sat and stared. "Fluid dynamics. Vertical motion. Electromagnetism... wow, this stuff is boring. How about this... can anyone tell me what a half-life is?"

Washington, Massachusetts, and North Dakota all raised their hands, and instantly eyed each other with caution. "A half-life is the time it takes for, like, half of an atom to disintegrate, I think," Washington said, though he seemed unsure of the answer. Chris shrugged, and said, "Sure. I guess that works. Five points for Team Freedom for getting that one right. Nice one."

North Dakota's expression turned to outrage, as she cried, "_Hey!_ I knew what that was, Chris! I raised my hand _before him!_" Chris gave an amused laugh at North Dakota, and explained, "Well, an attitude like that's not gonna help you any. Alright! Let's see. How about a physics problem?"

Chris took a moment to think of a suitable problem for the class. "How about this?" he began, and continued, "I am flying in a plane above the Province of Ontario at a speed of fifty meters per second. If I jump out of the plane when it's at a height of one thousand meters in the air, how long will I have until I hit the ground?

This wasn't a simple task. Immediately, the contestants all became set on solving the problem, though some worked harder than others. Both Texas and Alabama, clearly having no idea on how to solve the problem, merely sat back in their chairs and stared blankly at their desks.

"Twenty seconds," North Dakota shouted without even raising her hand. Chris frowned at her. "No!" he protested. "I wear a parachute at all times. It's a trick I picked up from the third season. So obviously it'd take a lot longer than that."

North Dakota scoffed, and promptly stood up from her desk. "Uh, _Chris_, I solved the problem," she pointed out, expression livid. Chris seemed mildly entertained by her, and suggested, "You'd better take your seat before I start _deducting_ points from Team Fabulous. You'll be in the negatives already!"

She was very close to yelling something else, but North Dakota gave a huff, and sat back down in her chair. "Much better," Chris complemented. "Alright. Let's do another problem."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_170_mp3**

"One of the things I hate about this show is the fact that I can mouth off to whoever I want, but not _Chris_. Ugh. One day, _I'm_ going to take his spot. Or something. He's going to end up regretting messing with me. I might just be sixteen, but I _know_ I have _way_ more intelligence than he does."

North Dakota

**8:21 AM.**

The day began to wear on. A shy morning sun began to peek through the classroom's blinds, casting its rays over the already stressed high school students. None of them had been expecting to be in a classroom while still on the show. It was, like, part of the agreement.

"Man, this is real borin'..." Alabama muttered, lying his head on his desk, gazing at Mississippi a few desks away as Chris rattled on and on about "McLean Rays", which could fry through solid concrete. "Tell me 'bout it!" Texas said, leaning back in his chair.

"_Hey!_" Chris snapped, staring at the two boys. "No talking. Five points from Team Freedom."

The points system was unreliable, that much was for sure. Early on, Team Freedom had taken the lead, but with the amount of irrational and heavily weighted problems Chris gave them all, the teams started to wildly differ; for about ten minutes, Team Fabulous had the lead by almost fifty points, but Team Freedom was ahead again within minutes of another set of problems. The contestants had learned to just ignore the points; they really didn't mean much this early on, anyway.

"I miss my girl..." Alabama whispered, still resting his head on his own desk. "Like, I really do, Tex. She had so much to say on stuff."

"She did?" Texas asked, confused. Alabama gave a tiny nod. "Yeah... she don't look it, does she?" Alabama muttered. "But she's a talker. Remember when she told us 'bout the corn maze her and her pa did when she was a kid?"

Texas shrugged nonchalantly. "I miss Team Touchdown..." he mumbled. "We were all the same. We never had to worry 'bout anythin' 'cept winnin'. And it was actually warm outside back then. None of these... _freezin'_ temperatures. It actually _snowed _a few days ago."

"That was sweet," Alabama remarked, mindlessly glancing over his Physics textbook. "I wanted to make a snowman, but I couldn't find anywhere the snow'd piled up real good... hey, Tex. Y'know what?"

"Huh?"

"I wanna be with my family for Thanksgivin'. I haven't seen them in so long. I miss 'em."

Texas thought about Alabama's comment. "Me too, man..." he mumbled. "I miss my folks, too. But I also want a million bucks, so... there's that."

Up in the front, Chris checked his watch, and yelped. "Yikes! It's time for second period," he announced to them all. "Gather your stuff and follow me to the next class room. We're gonna have US History! Fitting, huh? The current point total is 210 for Team Freedom, and 265 for Team Fabulous!"

Excited to finally be moving between classrooms, the students all sprang up to leave. On the way out, Washington, walking closely beside Oregon, was met with North Dakota. "That was some really impressive answering you did back there!" North Dakota lied, giving him a grin. He raised his eyebrows, and said, "Huh. Yeah. You too." The skeptical expression didn't disappear from his visage as North Dakota walked back over to be with her sister.

"She seems nice!" Oregon commented, and Washington gave his boyfriend a peculiar glance.

Meanwhile, Arizona and Virginia walked together through the halls to the next class. Mississippi had taken a moment to be with Alabama. "So what's the plan for the merge?" Arizona asked. Virginia shrugged, and said, "Well... we'll all be one team. And assuming both of us are still in the game then, we'll both be allied together. I'm just wondering who among the boys we could trust. You seem to know a few of them."

"Washington, definitely," Arizona declared, glancing at the guy in question. "He was awesome on Team Victory. And Oregon, too. He's nice. Not sure about Hawaii. If New Mexico was still in the game, then..."

"I know," Virginia muttered, as Arizona's eyes started to grow distant with her recollections. "I know, Arizona. But the two of us have got to stick together. Otherwise North Dakota will just take over _everything_ whenever we merge."

"Right, right..." mumbled Arizona, recollecting herself. "Sorry. I've just been kind of stressed the last few days."

The contestants were led into another classroom. This one seemed pretty similar; it was just as dusty and messy, but happened to be in a different location. "We're doing US History now!" Chris told them all as the students all filed into their seats. "I'm still the teacher, of course. Let's learn about the civil war!"

Instantaneously, Chris dived into a touchy topic as everyone unabashedly glanced at the three southerners. "The US Civil War was fought a long time ago!" Chris announced. "I don't really remember the exact years. Maybe early 19th century? I'm not sure. Let's see... who can tell me the years it was fought?"

North Dakota's hand shot up instantly. "The US Civil War began in 1861," she pointed out with a smug grin. It was pretty clear she was well-versed in military history. "Correct!" Chris consented. "At least, I'm going to assume she's correct. Ten points for Team Fabulous. Who was the president at this time?"

To that, a lot more hands were raised, though a few students still seemed a little stumped. "Abe Lincoln!" Massachusetts blurted out, eager to get some more points for Team Freedom. "Nice one!" said Chris. "Ten points for Team Freedom! Even _I_ knew the answer to that one! Now, for fifty points... who can name all of the states that seceded?"

Interestingly enough, Texas raised his hand for that one. "Miss'ssippi, Bama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, South Carolina an' Texas!" he informed them all, grinning smugly at having known the answer to that one. He continued, "Then Virginia, Arkansas, Tenn'ssee, an' North Carolina. Eleven in total."

"Awesome!" Chris cheered. "Fifty points for Team Freedom! Looks like you guys are in the lead! I think. I'm not really adding them up as I go. I have an intern who's doing that."

There was a slight pause. Chris really knew how to silence a room, that was for sure. "Let's move onto something a little more robust," he said eventually, clapping his hands together. "More history! Exciting. Turn up for history, am I right?"

**10:15 PM.**

"Make sure to meet with Chef Hatchet!" Chris reminded them as the thirteen students ran out the room, desperate to get away from Chris's teaching. "Alright? In the gym! He's teaching PE!"

"God, I couldn't stand another _minute_ in there..." Mississippi muttered to Alabama as they all walked to the gym. "I really don't like school that much. It's too - too _gosh-darned boring!_"

Alabama nodded in strict agreement. "I'm with you there, girl," he agreed. "History ain't good for you. It's like eatin' too much spinach." The two walked on ahead through the hallway, leaving behind California, who had been told to walk strictly beside North and South Dakota. "I had _so_ much fun at my old school..." California remarked, gazing at where Alabama and Mississippi had walked off. "I wonder if everyone back home's rooting for me! Oh, my gosh, that would be so much fun..."

North Dakota gave a side glance to California, and said, "Well, I don't remember people liking me _too_ much back home, but they _will_ once I'm a million dollars richer." South Dakota smiled, remembering her life back at home. "I had a lot of friends!" South Dakota exclaimed. "North Dakota, you remember them. Remember Nathan? You were so convinced that he was your-"

"Yeah, that's _enough,_" North Dakota interrupted her sister, vaguely irritated. "The only thing I'm concerned about is this reality show right now." South Dakota frowned, and persisted, "You can't just throw away the past, sis. I have a lot of friends that I hope are still supporting me. North, they're supporting _you_, too. We _did_ go to the same high school, y'know."

A scoff from North Dakota, and then, "Yeah. That high school was located in _North_ Dakota. Not South Dakota. I'm not even sure why they let you on the show. You're not even from South Dakota. We're both from Bismarck, for crying out loud."

California remained silent, somewhat amused to see the family matters transpire before her eyes. South Dakota raised an eyebrow, and said, "You keep changing the subject. You had friends in high school! Nathan was your friend. Or - or your rival, or whatever. But I know he liked you."

It seemed very likely that North Dakota was about to hit her own sister just then. Moments before North Dakota would've taken action, though, the contestants all entered the designated gym; a huge, incredibly dusty and dark cavity of mildew and mold. The roof seemed partially collapsed, letting in faint trickles of sunlight through the cracks. Chef Hatchet, unhappy to see the contestants again, was dressed in traditional gym attire, and holding a coach's whistle. "Listen _up_, y'all!" he bellowed at them all. He then pointed at a rotten-looking rope, which hung from the ceiling. "Y'all are gonna climb up that thing an' ring the bell. I don't know if they do this in today's school. I did it as a kid. So y'all are gonna do it now. No complainin'."

Chef sneered at them all, and suddenly pointed at Massachusetts. "You!" he shouted. "Scrawny. You goin' first. You better hope you can climb."

Massachusetts gulped, and stepped forward to grip the rope with all his strength. He gave it a slight tug; it seemed sturdy enough. With shaking hands and legs, he began to climb upwards. The other twelve contestants watched him with awed expressions.

About halfway up, however, he began to have difficulties. He was shaking _way_ too much for him to go any higher. "I - I really can't _do this!_" Massachusetts cried, after noticing he was only halfway there. "Please! Let me get down!"

Chef grimaced at him. "Minus one hundred points!" he barked. "Fo' bein' such a _pansy_."

That was an absolute outrage. New York and Texas glared at Massachusetts resentfully, but Washington and Oregon were both much quicker to jump to his defense. "_Hey!_" Washington cried out. "That's not fair! Minus _one hundred points__?_"

"It's fair if I _say so!_" Chef exclaimed, narrowing his eyes at Washington. "That's the US educational system fo' ya."

Washington seemed ready to argue against Chef's viewpoint, but Oregon frantically tugged on his sleeve, and whispered, "Not now, Washington. We don't need to argue."

A resounded sigh from Washington. "I know..." he mumbled in response, as Chef called for Mississippi's turn next. The two stood in silence for a moment, watching Mississippi gradually scoot her way up the rope. Eventually, Washington leaned towards Oregon, and whispered, "I still need to go over some things with you. This is stuff you gotta _know_, Oregon."

"Washington!" Oregon whispered back, vaguely flattered. "I'm _fine_. Why can't we just do what normal couples do? Like... go see a movie. Or go out to eat somewhere! Oh, that might be fun for Friday, when we're not doing anything and Chris dumps us off for a day or two if we're already there. How much money do you have saved up?"

"Uh..." Washington murmured, thinking. "Like... fifty dollars? Look, that's not the point. I just... I want to prepare you for this show! There's a lot riding on it. And _again_, in case I get kicked off before-"

"You _won't_, though!" Oregon protested. "You'll definitely get farther than me. I'm honestly surprised I made it _this_ far! Even _if_ I get voted off, I'll still be rooting for you back home, Washington..."

Washington sighed. "I know, dude," he acknowledged. "But seriously, I do wanna go over some things with you. Namely... getting people to like you. It's an absolutely necessary skill to have. Having people that like and respect you is all part of getting ahead. People that _like_ you will _not_ want to vote for you-"

"Oh my _gawd_," Oregon groaned. "Please, can we just watch Mississippi climb this dumb-"

Just then, Mississippi shrieked. She'd hardly made it five feet in the air. "I _can't!_" she squealed. "I _caaan't! Aaah!_" And just like that, she dropped down, landing relatively unharmed on her feet. Chef sighed disappointedly, and helped Mississippi up. "Ten points from Team Fabulous," he decided with a rather soft expression. And just like that, _every_ guy except Alabama was outraged.

"_Hey!_ They only got _ten_ points taken off?" New York cried, pointing accusingly at Mississippi. "_Massachusetts_ got _farther_ than her and he got like a _hundred_ points taken off! What's up with that?"_  
><em>

"I decide the rules!" Chef reminded, sizing up the seven guys. "So y'all'd better back down or _else_. _Next!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_171_mp3**

"I'm still not sure whether or not I hate Chris or Chef more! They're _both_ terrible in their own _special_ ways. Almost makes me wish Blaineley was back."

New York

**11:06 PM.**

"_Lunchtime!_" Chef decided eventually after witnessing thirteen teenagers struggle up a rope ladder. The only contestant who'd actually made it to the top was Texas. Not even Alabama had tried, on grounds of being terrified of heights. Nonetheless, the boys ended up with a lower overall score than the girls: it was now 130 points versus the girls' 440. When Chef _did_ release the contestants, though, just about _everyone_ was glad to finally get out.

"Thank _goodness_..." Virginia muttered to herself, walking as quickly as possible down the hall to this abandoned school's cafeteria. "I was gettin' sick of him."

"Agreed," Mississippi replied, giving a slight glance behind her at the gym. "So what's left in this challenge? Are we done? Because this means the girls win."

"Knowing Chris, we'll probably have something else to do..." Arizona predicted, pushing past the double-doors of the school cafeteria, entering the huge, gym-like space. A few of the other contestants had already arrived, and were sitting in their respective cliques and groups, though there weren't many. After all, there were only thirteen more contestants.

"Hey!" New York yelled, waving to Hawaii. "You wanna sit with us?" New York was indicating Texas and Alabama, who both gave bored waves. Hawaii raised an eyebrow, and searched around the cafeteria for another place to sit. When it became clear that Hawaii wasn't going to sit with them, New York's expression fell, and he sat back down. "What's his _deal?_" New York grumbled, staring at the cold metal tables. "I'm his friend. We're trying to give him a spot in our alliance."

"If I were him, I'd keep his neutral position," Texas sagely advised, watching Hawaii walk away from Team Freedom. "That way, he gets everyone tryin' to get him into their alliance. He's real important."

Hawaii strode towards the girls' side of the cafeteria. "Hey, Callie!" he greeted, walking up to California, who seemed to be sitting with the Dakotas. "_Hawaii!_" California squealed, and jumped up to hug him, while North Dakota groaned quietly. "Man, it's been _forever,_" Hawaii earnestly proclaimed, looking over the remains of Team Fabulous. "Looks like you managed to do good for yourself."

"Um... yeah!" California agreed, smiling brightly. "You wanna sit with us? Oh, my gosh, I can't _wait_ for the merge. I can't wait to see Washington and Oregon again! They're so cute. Here - meet South Dakota, Hawaii! You'll like her."

Hawaii gave a timid wave, and sat down at the Dakota's table. "Hi," he greeted, smiling. "I guess... you're the Dakotas. I've heard a _ton_ about the two of you."

This didn't seem to surprise North Dakota at all, but she gave a half-assed, pseudo-friendly smile, and said, "Yeah. I'm North Dakota. And you are?"

"Hawaii," he repeated. North Dakota didn't seem to care much, whereas South Dakota smiled with polite reciprocality at Hawaii. "Why's Arizona sittin' over there?" Hawaii asked California, pointing at the other table. "Oh..." California muttered, casting a brief glance towards Arizona and Virginia. "I mean... they're over there. It doesn't really matter that much. Hey - get Washington and Oregon over here, I haven't seen them in _forever_-"

Suddenly, Chris appeared at the front of the cafeteria, and held his hands up to get their attention. "Hey!" he yelled. "Unfortunately, we don't have any food for you kids! So you're just gonna have to make do with staring at the tables like you were all doing anyways."

Groans rose into the air. "Can't we just order some pizza?" Oregon complained, and received a ton of fervent nods agreeing with him. "Nope!" Chris exclaimed, smiling smugly at him. "No pizza for you. Or anybody, actually. We're kind of running on a tight budget at the moment. So... I'm gonna need you kids to keep quiet. We've still got a third period to go to."

More groans. "Come on, guys, let's get creative!" Chris shouted, smiling widely. "It's time for art class! The last class of the day. All points issued will be _double_ their usual value, so get hyped, guys! This is the last _class!_ So Team Freedom, you'd better try _extra_ hard." The contestants were forced to stand once more for their final class; school was actually a lot more monotonous than they remembered.

A short journey across school grounds later, and they had all arrived at the Arts Building. "Step inside!" Chris offered, pointing inside. "Today, we've got a special assignment. It should be pretty easy! I want each team to paint one picture on a large piece of canvas. I'll be judging it myself! So _everyone_ needs to help out. This is a _team_ effort, kids. You have... one hour!"_  
><em>

**12:43 PM.**

"I _love_ working with acryllic..." Oregon murmured, painting long, elegant strokes over a huge piece of canvas, which was being supported by both Texas and Alabama. "It's so malleable. I love the kinds of colors you can come up with it."

Massachusetts nodded in quiet agreement, dabbing a light shade of blue near the top of the canvas to create a sky. "What are the girls doing over there?" he asked, not wanting to divert his attention. Hawaii craned his neck, and squinted. "I dunno," he muttered. "Some kind of thing. I'm not sure if we're allowed to peek."

"They're doin' it to us!" Texas exclaimed, as California glanced over at the boys for the third time. "They wanna get ahead of us! This is the _last challenge_ we can get ahead in. So we gotta do _good_. Imagine if we get, like, three hundred points."

"Then we'd _still_ be ten points short," Washington pointed out without missing a beat. "We've got 130. They've got 440. Unless Chris pulls a Dumbledore and gives us twenty extra points for no reason, then we've got little hope of winning this challenge."

"Hold on," New York interrupted, looking seriously between Washington and Texas. "Chris _likes_ the drama. He might just make us win if it's good enough just so that we get an unpredictable ending. I mean, come on, the girls have been in the lead since the start. Chris _wants_ us to win."

The logic seemed sturdy enough, and besides, the boys all wanted to believe that they would win, anyway. Over on the girls' side of the room, though, things were a little different.

"Hurry it up!" North Dakota ordered, casting a suspicious glare at the boys again. "We need to catch up with them. If Chris decides to - to give them five hundred points out of the _goodness of his heart_, then we _lose again_. Remember, don't use any pink, alright? He _hates_ pink."

Team Fabulous was set on painting the most visually stunning rose possible; _without_ the use of pink, of course. However... it wasn't shaping up well. Instead of a rose, it was looking more like a daffodil, with long petals instead of gently folding, inwardly-spiralling petals. "This is _terrible_..." bemoaned Arizona, holding a paintbrush the way you might a pencil. "None of it's looking right. We can pull ahead, though..."

South Dakota checked her watch. "We really don't have that much time, though..." she reminded everyone, worriedly glancing over the incomplete painting. "Either we finish this up now, or it'll remain like this. And I don't really want to go to voting tonight..."

"_None of us do!_" North Dakota shouted, teeth bared. "Which is _why_ we can't just _give up_ like a bunch of losers when the game's _just getting good_. Now suck it up and _work_. There's no giving up yet. You don't give up. That's the point."

But none of that mattered, because at that split moment, there was a loud yelp from Team Freedom, a crash, and then-

Alabama had stepped on a stray paintbrush while holding the canvas. Texas bent to help him, causing his side to fall. Massachusetts, leaning on the team's canvas for support, fell forward, and dropped his pallet. In one fell swoop, the canvas crashed to the floor. A misplaced hand knocked over a paint can, culminating in-

The piece was absolutely wrecked. Oregon was half-covered in paint, blinking stupidly at where the canvas had gone. Massachusetts laid sprawled on the floor, the entire length of his arm submerged in red paint. The entire room had gone silent, as what had happened slowly processed in everyone's minds. And seconds later, Chris walked in, munching on a burrito, where he came to simply stare at what had happened.

...

"Wow," Chris remarked, eyebrows raised at Team Freedom. "Wooow. _Nice job_. Excellent work, Team Freedom. One hundred points just for making my day like this."

"Wait, _really?_" Texas asked, face alight with the possibility of victory. Alabama nudged him roughly, and muttered, "Dude, we still lost. Game's over." Chris clapped his hands, pointed at Alabama, and yelled, "_Yes!_ Correct, Alabama. Team Freedom gets a hundred points just that comic humor, but you _still lose!_ And rightfully so. Nope, the boys aren't pulling ahead this challenge! _They're_ going to the _voting ceremony tonight_. Heheheh. I wonder who it's gonna _be_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_172_mp3**

"Okay, in retrospect, that was my fault. I _did_ knock over the paint can and screwed up the piece. But... damn it, we don't _deserve_ to go to voting tonight! There are only _seven of us left!_ This is the end-game! We _merge soon!_ I was really hoping we could actually get ahead without another visit to the voting ceremony, but... argh. We've gotta figure out who we're voting for. And above all, we need to get _Hawaii_ to join us."

Massachusetts

**2:19 PM.**

Team Freedom's bus roared forward through the November afternoon, speeding through the rural areas of Oklahoma, when-

Two figures suddenly appeared beside Hawaii. Washington and New York both loomed over him menacingly. "The last vote goes to you," Washington began. "We're voting for Alabama. Hawaii, you need to join us on this one."

"No, you need to join _us_," New York explained, glaring at Washington with a renewed sense of hate. "We're voting for Massachusetts to finally _end_ this thing. Apparently, there's no making amends between the alliances, so... Hawaii, if you join us, then we extend all the benefits of protection to you. You'll be on an alliance with four people, versus one with just two. There's _no remaining neutral on this_. This is your last shot to pick a side."_  
><em>

"He's right on the fact that you have to pick a side," Washington cheerily informed Hawaii. "Hawaii, you _know me_. You _don't _know New York, or Texas, or Alabama. You also know Oregon. Join me, and you'll be with your old friends. It'll be like Team Victory again."

Evidently, this was all too much for Hawaii. "Yo, back off, the both of you," he ordered, stepping away from New York and Washington. "I'll pick for who I want, alright? Trust me, I'm gonna make the _right decision_."

"But _are you?_" New York asked exasperatedly. "Hawaii, I have been with you from the _start_ of Team Freedom! Man, I was there for you, and if you join us, I'll _continue_ to be there for you. You can _trust me_ on that. We're _bunk mates,_ dude. I'll always have your back, Hawaii."

Hawaii seemed to doubt this, but he also didn't appear to trust Washington. "Guys... I'll make the call," he explained, stepping away. "But I gotta take some time to think about it. Alright? I don't wanna do something that... that I might regret."

That answer wasn't satisfactory at all for either Washington or New York. "Take all the time you need, Hawaii," Washington said with a small smile. "I trust you."

"I trust you, too!" New York exclaimed, as though eager to outdo Washington in any colloquialism. "Remember to make the right choice!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_173_mp3**

"Right. Uh. So... this might be the biggest decision I have to make. Er, scratch that - it _is_ the biggest decision I gotta make. Do I vote off Massachusetts or Alabama? I don't really know _either_ of them, so I don't care about that. This is gonna affect me, though... but no matter what, I'll still end up in a four-person alliance. So that's good. I think... no matter what I pick, I'll make the right decision."

Hawaii

**6:53 PM.**

The two buses were stopped in a large field in central Oklahoma. Currently, the boys all seemed to be filing out of their buses to vote off the next person from Team Freedom. It was supposed to be a _very_ big, important voting ceremony that would change the course of the rest of the show, and from what North Dakota knew, it all rested on one kid's shoulders: Hawaii. But none of that was entirely important for now. For now, North Dakota's one task was the impossible.

To make amends.

"We need to have a quick talk," North Dakota explained to California and South Dakota, both of whom appeared frightened when North Dakota approached. "Um - uh, okay..." California consented, and South Dakota gave a shaky nod. North Dakota pulled the two into an empty bunk room, and sighed. "I know I've been really... _terrible_ lately," she explained, trying to make her apology seem as genuine as possible. "And that's entirely my fault. I should be a better sister than this."

Instantly, California's worried expression gave way to a lighthearted, jubilant one. "Oh, that's okay, North!" California exclaimed, seeming happy to have North Dakota make _any_ kind of amends. "We forgive you!" South Dakota, on the other hand, didn't seem as trusting. "North... I know the way you've acted this _entire show_," South Dakota explained slowly and deliberately. "You've... it hasn't been fun. I remember when you used to hit the people on Team Dakota with a cane..."

North Dakota faked legitimate guilt over that, and deliberately lied, "Yeah... South, I'm really sorry about that. About all of that. I really just want our alliance to be unified. We're all _equal_."

That last statement was like acid to North Dakota, but she swallowed it, and endured the horrors of what those three words might entail. South Dakota sighed again, grinned sheepishly, and quickly hugged her sister. "It's alright, North," South Dakota reassured. "I just wanted my sister back. My competitive, rival-loving, straight A's making, beautiful, _brilliant_ sister."

A real smile came from North Dakota... one of the first real one's she'd actually had. "Thanks, sis," North Dakota truthfully mumbled. "I'm not saying I won't get less competitive from now on - the _opposite's_ probably gonna be true - I'm just saying that... I don't want to lose my sister. And I know you're important and all that."

"Yay!" California exclaimed, jumping up. "Maybe we could all work together as a _team now!_"

...

"Or... um... not. That's fine, too."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_174_mp3**

"Wow. That was actually a lot easier than I thought. I didn't even expect _South_ to trust me like that. See, I've been predicting that if I kept just _ignoring her_ and acting like crap all the time, then she might just abandon me completely. That's not going to happen. When we started with this, the two of us were going to '_rule the world_'. Just the two of us! We'd go to the top two and split the prize money. But my objectives have changed. If South Dakota drops out of the game early, then I _keep_ the money - I use it to get out of here, and away from my _shitty life_ in the butthole of Bismarck. Believe it or not, I'm not doing this show for the experience. I'm doing it for the money. I'm not exactly _rich_, you see."

North Dakota

**7:01 PM.**

"Hello, boys!" Chris greeted the seven remaining guys. "It's so nice to see so few contestants still on the show. Reminds me of the old days of previous seasons, where we specifically _weren't allowed_ to have more than twenty-two contestants at once. Too many production costs, you see."

He shook the hat, and counted up the votes, making tiny marks on his notepad as he did so. When he was done, he tossed the hat behind him, making the tiny paper notes flutter everywhere. "This is going to be a _fun_ voting ceremony!" he informed them all. "Maybe even one of the most tense! I mean, it could go either way, right? Massachusetts, or Alabama? I'm not spoiling anything by revealing that, am I?"

It didn't seem like he was. The entire team was caught up with everything that was about to happen; at least three people were staring directly at Hawaii, whose stout poker face didn't reveal anything. "Let's begin!" Chris shouted. "Hawaii, New York, Oregon, Texas, and Washington! _All of you are safe! _Have some oatmeal cream pies!"

Those five contestants were showered with the treats; Chris was evidently paying little care to what snack went to whom. He stooped to pick up a stray one off the ground, and held it up menacingly at the remaining two contestants: Alabama and Massachusetts.

"One snack!" he yelled, letting them all see. "Two contestants. Alabama, your friendship with Texas has been absolutely _undying_ ever since the first few episodes. Within a few _more_ episodes, you got a girlfriend! Who we _think_ you're still dating? Nobody's sure ever since you two were separated during the merge."

Chris then turned to Massachusetts. "But you, Massachusetts!" he shouted dramatically. "You're a fan favorite! Fan favorites _always_ get kicked off! Just for fun, you see, and for _fan reactions!_ Those are the best. Not only that, but you had _two_ love interests. Your rival is _still in the game_, and you're in an alliance with two guys who are _dating_. You are absolutely _full_ of controversy."_  
><em>

"But... the final snack goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"_Massachuseeetts!_"

Massachusetts yelped with gratitude, and caught his snack in triumph. "_No!_" New York screamed. "_Hawaii!_ You sided with _them?_"

"Yeah..." Hawaii slowly confirmed, facing his three new alliance members. "Sorry, New York, but... I know Oregon and Washington. That kind of brotherhood doesn't die easily. So... I'm sorry, Bama. And Tex."

Alabama sighed, holding his head in his hands. "I should'a kept my mouth shut," he muttered sleepily. "I said _just today_ that I wouldn't mind goin' home. Guess I'm gettin' what I asked for. I'll see you later, Tex."

Texas seemed visually distraught, and was glaring at the alliance of four a short distance away. His only remaining friend was New York. "Dammit, Bama, you should'a gone to the _top_..." Texas mumbled, giving his friend a huge bear hug. "You are the _coolest, _dude. I'll always remember you. We're best buds, alright?"

"Definitely," Alabama confirmed, smiling brightly. "I gotta go get my stuff now, so... I'll see y'all later. Oh! And tell Miss'ssippi that... that I love her. She's my girl. Alright?"

"No sweat," New York assured hollowly, realizing the mess he'd gotten himself into. "That's... that's no problem, Bama. Take... care."

"Bye, y'all!" Alabama yelled, waving a cheery hand to the now six members of Team Freedom. "I wanna see at least _one of y'all _winnin' this thing!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_175_mp3**

"Oh, shit. Oh, _shit, shit, SHIT!_ I have _screwed up_. Seriously, this time. I am _dead_. It's two versus _four_. Hawaii jumped ship, and went to hang out with his _old friends_ - who, mind you, I _specifically_ warned him against. And now I'm going to get kicked off. I _have_ to make it until the merge. We _can't lose another challenge_. Oh, god, this can't be how it ends for me."

New York

**7:14 PM.**

"_NO!_"

Mississippi was screaming, pounding on the window for Chris to hear her - the voting ceremony was half a football field away - she was witnessing _Alabama getting voted off-_

"Get a _hold of yourself!_" Virginia ordered, yanking Mississippi away from the window. "We're not allowed out of the buses! Mississippi - Mississippi, _wait_-"

Mississippi was tearing at the bus's door, trying to rip it open. Alabama was slowly making his way to the taxi cab that awaited him. "_Please!_" Mississippi choked, sobbing loudly. "I - I _need_ to say goodbye. He's the _only_ guy who's ever paid _any_ attention to me."

At that, Virginia let go, but Mississippi was still unable to pry the bus doors apart. "Oh, gawd..." she sobbed, collapsing into a corner, as a concerned Arizona watched. "Bama's _gone_... I can't do this anymore, I _can't_... tell Chris that I quit..."

"You're being melodramatic!" Virginia yelled, and tried to pull Mississippi to her feet. "Calm _down!_ You're fine, Mississippi. You can get past this. You _have_ to get past this. For the _team_."

Mississippi broke into a fresh wave of sobs. "She's hopeless," Virginia declared, and stepped away, leaving Arizona to bend over Mississippi with a concerned gaze.

"Mississippi," Arizona instructed, making her look up. "Please. You need to think straight. Come on... we can talk all about it tomorrow. How about that? Would that make you feel better?"

It was no use. Mississippi seemed to be glued to the window, watching the taxi cab drive off, and the members of Team Freedom trudge back into their bus in melancholy. "Please, just leave me alone..." Mississippi sniffed, scooting away from Arizona. "I just wanna be alone right now."

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, and Alabama.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Guest, StayOuttaMyShed, and Winkie4!

**aspiringAnimator** - That's that! My home state's gone. I don't think I paid him any special attention, really. Man, this would've been a much better End Of Act 3, but that's coming up next. Stay tuned for that! We're seriously in the end game here. I'm freaking out by the fact that I'm running out of characters. I keep forgetting that New Mexico's gone; every few thousand words or so I want to give him a line but I remember: _oh wait i kicked him off_

Keep the reviews up! That's how you'll get on that list up above. If this fic ever _becomes__ something_ in the distant future, where I publish it or something, then you'd be famous! Or something like that. Maybe. Just tell yourself that you'll be famous, and that's probably good enough?

Just kidding. I'm probably never going to be able to publish this 200,000 word monstrosity. *surreptitiously scoots boxes of the book version of The Fifty State Roadtrip out of sight*


	40. A Bright Early Mourning

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Team Freedom** - **(**Hawaii, Massachusetts, Oregon, and Washington**)** and **(**New York and Texas**)**.

**Team Fabulous** - **(**Arizona, Mississippi, and Virginia**)** and **(**California, North Dakota, and South Dakota**)**.

**EPISODE 39: A BRIGHT EARLY MOURNING**

_"Hour two... my team and I have set into exploring this abyss... we've already run out of food... our host has abandoned us... _New Y__ork__ is a loser_..." - Texas_

**Sunday, November 16th, 2014. Mobile, Alabama. 11:08 AM.**

Mid-November. A dull, chilly wind swept through the fields of lower Alabama. This region, long used primarily for the growing of cotton, was now a rural, empty wasteland during the approaching winters. Wispy swirls of white clouds dotted the skies; an effervescent array of frigid, fluffy condensation. The two buses of The Fifty State Roadtrip, now both with only six occupants remaining, roared along past long fields of corn and crops.

Team Fabulous's bus hummed with energy as it led the way south, into, as Alabama put it thirty-seven episodes ago, "the armpit of the South". The girls, satisfied with having just won a challenge, found the time to lay back and relax; after all, there was _very_ little to do on the buses in between challenges. The only real drama happened on challenge days. Sure, North Dakota pushed people around a little as usual, but everything was otherwise quiet. Arizona had knitted a full-length scarf over the course of only a week. California and South Dakota both solved a puzzle in just a few hours, with nothing else to do. You have to realize these kids had spent seventy-five percent of the past four months sitting in buses while being carted across the country.

But today was a challenge day, and once again, tension began building in the air. It was akin to knowing you were to deliver a speech in front of a live audience later in the night; the sort of fluttery feeling you get in your stomach can no longer be ignored. The girls began avoiding each other, keeping to themselves in anticipation of the challenge. In fact, this would be a fascinating psychological experiment: pack fifty kids onto five buses, knock off two a week, and see what happens.

Virginia walked down the bus's hallway, her hands in her pockets and her expression grim. She pushed open the door to Arizona and Mississippi's room, to find Mississippi _still_ in her bed with the covers pulled over her head. On the opposite bunk, Arizona lay over the covers, reading a book about feminism. "Oh, hey!" Virginia greeted, but Arizona shot her a glare, indicating Mississippi's condition. Virginia raised an eyebrow, and approached Mississippi._  
><em>

"Psst," Virginia whispered, nudging Mississippi slightly. "Hey. Are you gonna be okay? It's challenge day."

Mississippi rolled over, groaned, and peeked at Virginia with one sleepy eye. "_No_," she groaned, and pressed her face deeper into her pillow. "Okay..." Virginia responded, glancing at Arizona. Arizona looked at Mississippi with a concerned gaze, and mouthed, "_Just leave her alone_."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_176_mp3**

"Alright, I'm gonna respect Mississippi's desire to be on her own for a little bit, but... we kinda need her for our alliance. North Dakota's alliance has been quiet for the past few days, so she might be plannin' somethin'. I understand that Mississippi's _sad_, but - face it! She barely even _knew_ Alabama. She doesn't even know his real name! She hardly saw him at all for the past month! I don't know... maybe I'm just bein' insensitive."

Virginia

**2:43 PM.**

The buses sped on; latitude slowly dropping. Shrill winds darted past the buses on their journey south. The radio on Team Freedom's bus incessantly played Christmas music, despite the fact that Thanksgiving hadn't even arrived yet. Outside, the temperature dropped into the fifties, which was considered pretty cold for this region.

The situation in Team Freedom, however, had reached a climax just a few days prior. With Hawaii's aligning to Washington and Massachusetts's alliance, the team was incredibly unbalanced: four versus two. If the team faced another loss, even in the aftermath episode, then there's little doubt that the contestant going home would be either New York or Texas, who were all on their own.

"Dude, we've gotta do something," New York clamored, pacing back and forth in his bunk room, while Texas sat on Hawaii's bed; Hawaii was somewhere else in the bus. New York sighed, rubbed his forehead, and explained, "It's four versus two. Hawaii - _Hawaii_, for some reason, doesn't trust me anymore. All because, like, _once_ he was in the final two for voting. And our friend Alabama is gone, now, because of this. What do we _do?_ I _want_ to be a relevant contestant! That's what I've been gunning for from the beginning!"_  
><em>

Texas raised his eyebrows, and remarked, "You wanna be '_relevant_'? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I want things to happen because of me. Y'know. Plot people."

"...plot people?" Texas asked, his eyebrows raising even farther as he grew more and more amused. "We're not in a story, dude. This is just a TV show." To that, New York took a more defensive stance, and stammered, "I mean - well, _obviously_. But I just want to be recognized by the fans as a person who _did_ a lot of stuff! Maybe even win, if I can! Guess _that's_ out of the picture ever since Massachusetts doesn't want me in his alliance anymore..."

Texas sighed. "Dude, you don't just _become_ relevant 'cause you want to," he explained slowly. "Or whatever you're sayin'. What _we_ need to do is get these alliances to cool down. We get it, they won. If we convince them that we ain't their enemies, then we might be able to pull through as a team."

New York rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, and proclaimed, "Right, because they'll just give up when they're _winning_. No, they're not stopping until the _both_ of us are taken out. And _they_ think they're a force of good - Washington says he's doing it because of your opinions on queers!"

"My opinions are _my opinions!_" shouted Texas angrily. "An' he can just _deal with 'em_. I got religious reasons. I bet he's a friggin' atheist or somethin'."

"Texas! Stop it!" New York yelled, desperate now. "_That's_ what I'm talking about! You don't flip out at people because of their beliefs! I mean - sure, he does it, but you doing it too won't help! And don't forget, you were the one who brought it up with him in the first place. The two of you need to - to _hug it out_ or something so that this gets better. Remember, we're _competing_ with the girls, they're the real enemies."

Texas looked away, not particularly wanting to face is problems. "Whatever. If we get through to the merge, then all these problems go away," he muttered to himself. "And we _are_ gettin' to the merge. Y'all can trust me on that."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_177_mp3**

"I know I shouldn't make so many confessionals. I probably have more than anyone else at this point. But... this is really the end, isn't it? It's just me and Texas now. And I'm not even sure if he really supports me. Pennsylvania's gone... nobody else on the other team will probably support me... Massachusetts won. He'll probably end up in the top three or something."

New York

**4:20 PM.**

"So he told you that he _didn't cheat?_" Massachusetts asked Hawaii, bewildered. The entirety of their alliance was just hanging out in Washington, Oregon, and Massachusetts's bunk room. "Wow. Because that is a _dead lie_. He got my - er, he got Maine voted off when it should've been a tie. He is _messed up_. And then he had the gumption after all of that to try to get on my good side again."

Hawaii was astounded. "But he told me that you got a lot of people voted off," he explained, hoping that New York wasn't a complete liar. "Was... _that_ a lie?"

Massachusetts scoffed, and nodded vigorously. "I mean, I will admit, he could've succeeded as a leader," Massachusetts explained. "Or something. I'm not sure if Team Democracy ever had a leader. But the way he screwed over our _entire team_ until there were only three of us remaining... I just find it hard to sympathize with him. Which is why he should be the first person we vote off."

Washington looked up from his position on the bed, where he sat next to Oregon. "We need to vote off Texas," he suggested. "Texas is the entire reason I formed this alliance. _He_ needs to go. We've already got his redneck friend off the show. Why stop there?"

Massachusetts hesitated, glancing between Hawaii and Washington. "Well... New York and I have so much more history, though," he revealed. "Like, going back from day one. Texas, in my opinion, is just somebody who _accidentally_ found himself on the cusp of the finals, whereas with New York... New York strategized to get here. Sure, he says he did it because he was scared, and - and maybe he was! But that doesn't change the fact that the two of us are the only remaining northerners now."

"Texas offended Oregon and I," Washington defiantly said. "And you, too, Massachusetts. It's our duty to make sure he goes back home."

Hawaii sighed, not entirely sure what he'd gotten himself into with this alliance. "Man... when's the challenge gonna start?" he asked, looking out the window, where a dim November sun had begun to set. Typically, by this point, the challenge had already been completed. "Chris probably has something up his sleeve. Which is never good," Washington sagely suggested.

**6:11 PM.**

The Fifty State Roadtrip arrived in Mobile as more of a whimper than a bang. Its two buses, parked under magnificent oak trees that seemed to completely cover the roads, gathered dust as their twelve occupants gathered before Chris and Chef in the twilight, in front of some big mansion. A cool November breeze rushed through the air, nowhere near as cold as some of the northern climates.

"Welcome to Mobile!" Chris shouted, smiling at them all. "No, this city wasn't named after cellphones. It's one of the oldest cities in the South, settled by the French in the early 1700's! Earlier than New Orleans, actually! At least, that's what Wikipedia told me ten minutes ago when I looked it up. Anyway! As such, this is a _very_ historic city. Some of the houses here are two hundred years old! Maybe. Not really sure, actually. But we're going to be looking into a very _particular_ one."

He then pointed vaguely behind him, where a menacing dark mansion stood. "This is the Oakleigh Mansion!" Chris revealed, holding a flyer that said so. "Built in 1833. Legend has it, this house is _very_ haunted and _spooky. _Probably! I mean, a house that's this old _has_ to have a ghost or two, right?"

Washington frowned skeptically, and said, "I'm sorry, but how do you know that? As far as we know, ghosts aren't scientifically verified to even exist. If they _did_ exist, I'm _pretty sure_ we'd have a _lot_ more evidence for their-"

"Shut up!" Chris ordered loudly after a few moments of listening to Washington. "My _flyer_ says this place is haunted, so therefore it's _haunted_. There's really not that much to make a big deal over. Alright? Alright. Now, as I was saying, this place is _super spooky!_ I am _really_ regretting we didn't do a ghost hunting challenge for Halloween. But, y'know, whatever."

"We're going to be _hunting ghosts?_" Mississippi yelped, horrified. Chris nodded in confirmation, quite enjoying her reaction. "Yes we are!" he said. "Should be fun. Here's what you kids need to know. The _first_ team to find proof that ghosts exist wins! You'll be armed with an infrared camera, a voice recorder, and your _very souls!_ Spooooky! Heheh. Um. Yeah. So... that's the gist of the challenge."

He stood there for a few more moments, waiting for a reaction. Aside from a few nervous expressions and occasional glances towards the mansion in question, nobody did anything. "You have until _morning!_" Chris then shouted. "So that's about _twelve hours!_ If _any_ of you fall asleep before then, then you get kicked off. Disqualified. No questions asked. It's kind of like the awake-a-thon, except with stricter guidelines and an actual objective. So... yeah, I guess this has the potential for multiple people to be sent off the show tonight."

Another pause. "What are you all waiting for?" Chris yelled, as though he had just told them to begin the challenge. "Go! I'll be waiting right here."

**7:56 PM.**

Team Freedom tentatively explored the Oakleigh mansion, listening with keen ears for any possible anomalies. After the sun had gone down, the entire home was pitch black, and honestly terrifying, even for Washington, who had repeatedly asserted his disbelief in the spiritual. Creaking footsteps were magnified, echoing around the home in a cascade of undulation. Elsewhere, the footsteps of Team Fabulous occasionally spooked them all.

"Hour two..." Texas muttered, holding up the camera into the dark. "My team and I have set into exploring this abyss... we've already run out of food... our host has abandoned us... _New Y__ork__ is a loser_..."

"Hey!" New York protested as everyone shared a brief chuckle. Texas gave a friendly glance to New York, and continued with his narration. "As far as I can well, we haven't found anything," Texas proclaimed into the camera. "But that don't mean there ain't any ghosts 'round here. Y'all, don't get eaten by any ghosts, alright? This is some serious, real-deal para_normanally_ activity here."

Everyone seemed to be enjoying Texas's small chat as the team slowly worked its way through the mansion, but Oregon genuinely appeared quite scared. He stood very close to Washington, peering about in the dark. The team had no flashlight to work with; only Texas's camera. Needless to say, there was a lot of stumbling.

"I really don't like this at all..." Oregon whispered, clutching Washington's arm as the team ascended the steps up into the second floor. "It smells like mildew in here... I just wish they gave us a flashlight or _something_..."

"A flashlight would scare away the _ghosts_," Washington dully muttered, using his hands to indicate quotation marks around the word "ghosts". He then rolled his eyes. "But don't worry. I'm sure we'll be fine, Oregon."

The two walked in silence, slowly progressing up the stairs of the mansion. As the night wore on, the air proceeded to get colder and colder, freezing the contestants down to the bones. Even the guys accustomed to such cold temperatures grew chilly; nobody expected to be walking around in the cold, so nobody dressed warmly.

"I need to tell you some more things," Washington muttered to Oregon as they all reached the second floor. The two were lagging behind everyone else. "You need to know how to _win_ at this game." To that, Oregon groaned quietly, and said, "Okay, fine. But I thought you were done with all this. With... with _teaching me_ things. Also, can we do this on, like, a _non-challenge day_ for once?"

Washington opened his mouth to speak, but considered Oregon's last sentence. "But what if there's no time?" he asked quietly. "What if you or me gets voted off _tonight?_ It wouldn't be unthinkable. The teams are tied, it's not like Chris is gonna care if Team Freedom goes to the voting ceremony tonight. This might be our last chance. Plus, we've got all night, so that's more time."

A sigh from Oregon. "I kind of wish we were a normal couple," he mentioned again to Washington. "Like, one that _wasn't_ under the constant threat of elimination. Where we could just... go out to eat, or go see our friends for a while, or _help each other with homework_, or-"

"We could," Washington interrupted, looking at Oregon directly in the eyes. "Once the show's over. You could come live with me in Seattle. It's not that far from Portland."

"I'm not from Portland," Oregon said, frowning. "I told you. I'm from Newport."

"Oh," Washington quietly said, slightly surprised. "Well, still. My brother's got an apartment up in Redmond. You could live there with me. He works in game design and stuff like that. We could be there by New Year's!"

"Why not live with your parents?" Oregon asked, frowning slightly. "I bet they're nice. Y'know, they're probably rooting for you, Washington. Like, '_Aww, look at our baby Daniel on TV! He's so sweet! He's definitely going to win! Oh, my, what a handsome boyfriend he's got-_"

"_Shhh!_" Washington frantically clamored, drawing a few of the other guys' attentions. "_Oregon!_" he whispered harshly. "Don't - _don't say my name!_ We could get disqualified. The same goes for you. If Chris found out - god, it's a good thing you whispered that-"

"Sorry! Okay!" Oregon said, backing away and looking disappointed. "Fine. So. What was it you were going to tell me today?"_  
><em>

"I'm going to teach you how to _trust people_. There are some people you can and can't trust. You need to know how to detect when someone's lying, when they're being honest, the way they _act_, how they _speak,_ and _above all_, what they're thinking..."

**10:35 PM.**

A faint rustling. A pause. A flurry of footsteps, and then-

"Aw, crud, I thought I saw something..." South Dakota mumbled, setting down a dusty old stack of newspapers. "Behind here."

"It was probably just a rat or something..." North Dakota grumbled, holding the video camera higher and looking around the living room of the home. Cobwebs draped from the ceiling above, disintegrating in a silky fray. The six girls had been slowly walking around through the house all night; on multiple occasions, Mississippi, California, and South Dakota had all jumped in fright at the sound of a creak in the dark.

Mississippi suddenly looked down at her feet, and quietly muttered, "It better not have been a rat. I - I _really_ don't like rats..."

Arizona shuddered, and nodded stiffly in agreement. "All animals are innocent and peaceful creatures... except rats," Arizona muttered, casting her eyes downwards just in case. "They're vile. I mean - _mice_ are okay. I like mice."

"I like horses..." Mississippi mumbled, thinking to herself. She'd been very withdrawn the entire evening after getting up from bed at 2 PM. It was very difficult to hold any kind of tangible conversation with her, and Arizona noticed this. "Are you _sure_ you're okay?" Arizona asked tentatively, looking intently at Mississippi. "It must have been very hard for you to see Alabama go like that."

Mississippi stiffly nodded. "I - I didn't even get to say goodbye," she stuttered, eyes watering up again. "He was the only guy who _ever_ paid any attention to me in my _life_. I thought we were gonna get married. He told me all about his life in this city."

Arizona nodded sadly, looking around in the darkness. "I felt the same way about New Mexico," she revealed with a distant expression. "He was always so... happy. He made _me_ happy. But then... I had to let go when it was time. Everyone does. And yes, I'll see him again once this is all over with. I'm sure of that."

A sigh from Mississippi, and then she said, "I don't know. I don't like this show anymore. I thought it would just last over the summer, not _all year long_ like this... and then I just _didn't lose_, and now I'm here... I kinda wanna go home. Nothin's fun anymore."

"Don't say that," Arizona ordered, appearing frightful. "Alabama would _want_ you to keep going. He's rooting for you back home, Mississippi. You _know_ that. You need to... you need to at least _try_ to win."_  
><em>

Mississippi apparently didn't know what to say to that, so the two walked in silence through the old, rotting house.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_178_mp3**

"I wanna go home. This show is just... just so _stressful_. All these girls are so angsty all the time! Y'all, I swear, when I get home, I'm gettin' a home cooked meal an' callin' my friend to come spend the night. The only people here I really know now are Texas, Arizona, an' Virginia. An' the last two ain't even really true, if I'm bein' honest with myself!"

Mississippi

**3:22 AM.**

The six boys of Team Freedom all sat around in the attic of the Oakleigh mansion, chatting it up, and avoiding falling asleep. Texas had propped the video camera up and pointed towards the end of the attic, where previously-mentioned "ghostly activity" might crop up. Nobody had fallen asleep yet, though New York and Oregon seemed ready to. Outside the attic's walls, a low wind blew, whistling through the wooden cracks and adding a general spooky ambiance to the scene.

"Would you rather date..." Massachusetts began, facing Hawaii and thinking deeply about the possibilities. "Um... okay, Arizona, or Virginia?"

Hawaii looked up, and considered the question seriously. "Uhhh... I dunno," he responded honestly. "Arizona's kinda with my bro New Mexico, so I guess I'd have to go with Virginia. But I don't really know, so... alright, my turn. Texas. Would you rather... date... North Dakota, or her sister?"

Texas glanced up, blinking sleepily. "Wha?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. "Oh. Uh... I dunno, dude. I don't really dig psycho chicks, but I don't know the other girl. So I dunno."

"You gotta answer, man."

"Fine," Texas consented, looking up and drumming his knuckles on the floor. "Uhhh... North Dakota. I guess."

"You'd want to date _North Dakota?_" Hawaii exclaimed, surprised. Everyone else perked up their heads to Texas's answer. "Well - _no!_" Texas defensively yelped, glancing around. "I mean - you've all seen South Dakota. I just - it was an either-or question, so... and y'all gotta admit, North Dakota's pretty..."

But there was no undoing the damage Texas had done; everyone was giving him the most peculiar expression. He scoffed slightly, and turned his head, asking Washington, "Okay, Washington, _you answer_. Would you rather date California or - or _North Dakota?_"_  
><em>

Washington blinked, still somewhat amused at Texas's previous answer. "Uh. Well, I'm gay," he pointed out blankly. "Not bi. But if I had to choose between those two, I'd obviously go with California. I already know her, and I _know_ she's not psychotic. Or manipulative, or anything like that. But again, I wouldn't date either of them because of obvious reasons. Who's next?"

Nobody seemed very keen to play anymore; everyone had already answered the question at least once by this point. The only point left to the challenge was sitting around for five more hours and avoiding falling asleep. After a while, New York looked up, and asked everyone, "So what do you guys think about the show so far?"

Hawaii sleepily rubbed his forehead, and responded, "Nothing happened for _so long_. And now all of a sudden things are happening. It's like... it's like we spent four months on a bus just so we could get to the finals and have things happen to us. And now the things are happening."

His sleep-deprived response didn't make a _lot_ of sense, but nobody really cared all that much. "I thought things would be _crazy_..." Texas mumbled to himself. "Like, a challenge every day. Flying around the world. I thought we'd be done with this by the time school started."

"If you read the contract, you'd know that's not true," Massachusetts informed Texas, grinning slightly. "CampTV was actually surprisingly detailed in what we'd have to do. I mean, yeah, Chris is a crazy host, but we knew that the show was going to last until December since the beginning."

Texas rolled his eyes, as though he couldn't care less. "What time is it, y'all?" he asked, blinking sleepily. New York took a look at his watch, and muttered, "Fifteen minutes 'til four. It's the seventeenth now. Why?"

Oregon suddenly gasped, bolting upright with his eyes wide. "I just remembered!" he exclaimed. Washington, who apparently almost had a heart attack, gasped, "What? What is it?"

"Yesterday was my birthday."

...

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_179_mp3**

"Yay! I'm seventeen now! Kind of sucks that I missed my birthday by a few hours, but who cares? I'm seventeen, and that means that I am basically an adult now."

Oregon

**6:13 AM.**

The six girls of Team Fabulous continued in their incessant trudge around the mansion, searching for anything paranormal that might make them win. At this point, North Dakota was considering just making spooky noises to trick Chris into thinking the girls had found something. The boys had long since disappeared, somewhere upstairs, but the girls were nowhere near giving up, despite the fact that about eight hours had passed with no avail. North Dakota, still leading the way with the camera in hand, very nearly fell asleep herself on multiple occasions. "Trust me, you guys," she slurred, squinting ahead in the dark. "We'll find something. Chris will find something in the footage or the audio or something. We've _got this_..."

Nobody paid any attention to her pep talks. The dementia had long since set in; it was a battle to keep the eyes open after hours upon hours of wandering around an empty mansion searching for ghosts. California, lagging in the back of the group, approached South Dakota, and whispered, "Your sister's really getting into this, huh?"

South Dakota laughed quietly, and nodded. "Yeah. I don't even think she believes in ghosts," she whispered in response. "But she wants to win, so there's that..."

The two quietly walked on, nervously stepping around objects strewn around the house. After a few moments, California asked, "So what would _you_ do if you won?"

South Dakota frowned just a little, and mumbled, "Well... I'd have to give half of the money to my sis. I promised her. After that... I guess I'd use some of the money to get into college. Give some of it to charity. Give some of it to - to _you guys_. Like, I could give a thousand dollars to every contestant on the show. What would you do, California?"

"Oh, my gosh," California began, thinking of the possibilities. "Wow, I would - I would buy a new _house!_ And a new car - I think the 2015 BMW looks _so_ nice. I would go on a _shopping spree_, um... with my friends! And I would go on vacation to Hawaii - um, not the person, the island - oh, wow, I almost want to win really badly right now-"

And just then, Mississippi yelped, pointing at the ceiling. "_Up there!_" she cried, backing away and almost falling over. "There's a - I _saw a light!_ Up on the ceiling! It was moving - oh, my gosh, I think it was-"

"Okay, not to spread undue alarm here, but I saw it, too," Virginia pointed out, warily glancing around. "It kind of jiggled around a little and bounced away. Though, girls, I think maybe we shouldn't freak out and go chasing it, it could've easily been just - oh, I don't know-"

"_After it!_" North Dakota screamed, dashing ahead into the darkness with her camera pointed at The Spooks. "_This is our chance._ We _take it_ if we wanna win. _Come on!_"

**6:19 AM.**

A pause. There was a rather loud commotion downstairs.

Washington held up a hand, and asked, "Hold up, you guys. Did any of you hear that?"

They listened with keen ears for any possible noises. All they could hear was a loud clattering of footsteps around the house downstairs... which could only mean one thing. "_The girls found something!_" Texas shouted, bolting up with the others. "Y'all! _We gotta follow 'em!_ Shit - we don't wanna lose, _do we?_"

And so, it was decided; the six boys all stampeded down from the attic into the lower reaches of the mansion, desperate to catch up to the girls; the house was filled with a huge clamoring of noise like never before. Team Freedom and Team Fabulous soon collided in the center of the foyer. Mass confusion began to spread.

"What the hell?" North Dakota yelled, rubbing her forehead after having smashed into Oregon. "Wait - what are the boys doing here?"

"What did you guys find?" New York demanded, staring angrily at the six girls. "Because we're here to find it too. This challenge is _ours_ for the taking."

Virginia folded her arms, and raised an eyebrow at New York. "We found it first!" she informed him. "That means we deserve to win. Besides, I'm pretty sure we got it on camera. So the girls win this challenge."

"You seriously think a tiny orb of light is going to convince Chris?" Washington asked, looking around the main room for possible clues. "Chances are, it was just a reflection from a passing car or something. We need to find something _concrete_ to convince him. Like... a chair falling over. Or a mysterious, spooky shadow. Or a sudden draft of cold air! I know paranormal '_investigators_' love to pass off that stuff as evidence for ghosts..."

In the midst of all their arguing, slivers of light began to slide over the city of Mobile. The sky began to grow tinted with the faintest shades of pink, signalling the rapidly approaching dawn. There wasn't much time _left_.

"I'm not even sure if I got the orb on camera," North Dakota muttered worriedly, examining her device. "Or whatever it was. Which _means_ we need to find out where it went so that we can get it again. But it's almost morning... I'm not sure that we have enough-"

"Time, North Dakota?"

Chris stepped into the room, shining a flashlight on his face just to make himself look spookier. Outside, a dim orange sun surpassed the horizon. "Funny you should mention time!" he told them all, as contestants began groaning. "Because _you_ all just _ran out _of time. Nice job staying awake, though. I'll take those!"

He then yanked the cameras and recording devices from Texas and North Dakota's hands, and handed them over to his interns. "We're going to look at _all this footage_ you guys got!" he told them with a big smile. "In the meantime, you'll be hopping back on board the buses until we announce which team won. If _any_. I get the feeling that nobody's going to find _anything_ from those clips."

Chris led the dozen contestants back outside and into the real world once more. From the outside, the Oakleigh Mansion didn't seem so big after all; currently, it was being illuminated by the yellow shafts of a rising sun, glinting between the leaves of evergreen oak trees around it. "See you kids in a couple hours!" Chris yelled. "Try not to sleep _too__ hard_. We've still got some voting to do."_  
><em>

**10:30 AM.**

Virginia, Arizona, and Mississippi all congregated in one bunk room as usual, muttering about the current situation on the show as Chris fervently worked with the interns outside in a large tent, analyzing all the footage they'd recorded. It was a _big_ process, but would be over soon. Hopefully.

"I bet none of the teams are gonna win today..." Virginia murmured thoughtfully, imagining what might happen if that became a reality. "That's be interesting. Then nobody would go home. We would all be safe." Mississippi gave her a bleary gaze, and said, "That's just delaying the inevitable. Y'all, I'm serious - y'all can vote me off. I _wanna_ go home."

"Oh, Mississippi, not again..." Virginia groaned, sitting beside her and putting a hand on her shoulder. "We went over this. Alabama would _want_ you to stay in the game. I mean... wouldn't he? I'm _sure_ that he wouldn't want to see you wither away like this and just... give up."

"It's what _I_ want," Mississippi insisted forcefully. "This show's dumb anyways. If I _don't_ go home tonight, what's stoppin' me from goin' home the next challenge day? Or the next? Honestly, I bet I wouldn't even get to the merge..."

"Okay, no, Mississippi," Virginia asserted, looking her dead in the eyes. "You are _stayin'_ on this show. It's what's best for you. And _besides_, we _need_ you on the _alliance_. If you went home, what do you think would happen to Arizona and I? We'd be overtaken by Team Dakota. And _nobody_ wants that."

A scoff from Mississippi. "It's _my_ choice..." Mississippi reminded her. "I don't wanna be on the show anymore. I wanna be with my _boyfriend_. Arizona... Arizona, you understand, right? Wouldn't _you_ wanna be with New Mexico?"

Arizona looked up, and nodded on fierce agreement. "Virginia, if Mississippi really wants to go home... then who am I to stop her?" she asked, cocking her head to one side. "It _is_ her choice. Personally, I really don't blame her for wanting to go home. This show is very stressful for a lot of people."

"Hold on," Virginia protested, looking at Arizona now. "If she goes home, then that affects _us_, too. We can't have that. If she goes home, that could mean the two of _us_ go home, too! Arizona, please - and _Mississippi_, please - think about this. Besides, we probably didn't even lose the challenge."

And right then, there was a sudden burst of commotion from outside. Through the window, the three girls could see Chris waving his arms at the buses and blowing his whistle, signalling that they were to go outside then. "Guess it's time..." Virginia muttered, standing up. "Let's do this."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_180_mp3**

"I really do know how Mississippi feels. I was the same way for a while, after New Mexico was kicked off. I even considered just quitting, myself. And... if that's how Mississippi feels? Then she should be able to _follow her heart_. You see, the thing I'm trying to prove to everyone is that these shows aren't so awful... that not _everybody_ is selfish, and only wants friends so that they can have allies. And a true _friend_, not an _ally_ would be okay with Mississippi going home."

Arizona

**10:37 AM.**

The now twelve contestants all climbed out of the buses to face Chris, who stood before the tent triumphantly. "We have a _winner!_" he exclaimed with a large grin. "In the end, we _did_ find something caught on camera! Though it wasn't anything we _expected_ to find. Take a look at _this_ clip..."

He pointed at a TV monitor, which had been wheeled out by two interns. "Play the clip!" Chris ordered, and a button was pressed.

The screen was black, and then-

It switch to a feed from the attic, back when the boys spent quite a number of hours just sitting around. The camera, pointing at the end of the room, didn't seem to catch anything. It all seemed quite normal. Until...

A plastic cup, positioned on the edge of a box, fell over suddenly. "There!" Chris shouted, and paused the footage. "_Proof_ that ghosts exist. Explain _that_, science! And so, Team Freedom wins the challenge! Nice catch, boys."

"...what?" North Dakota slowly said, processing what had just happened. "Wait, so - the only evidence they _found_ was a _cup falling over?_ Hold on - Chris, we saw an _orb of light downstairs!_ Just stand there and _tell_ me that doesn't count. I dare you."

Chris shrugged. "You must not have been pointing the camera at the ceiling at the time, then!" he suggested. "Too bad! So sad. The girls will be going to the voting ceremony! Which... I suppose we could just have right here, right now!"

He snapped his fingers, and a bag of candy was thrown into his hands. A flash of smile popped onto his face as he yelled, "Boys, get back in your bus! The girls have a voting ceremony to go through. Girls, write down your votes real quick-like onto the papers the interns are passing out. We need to do this _fast_. This will be our first daytime voting ceremony! And probably the _last_."

The girls did a they were told, terrified at the fact that events were spiraling out of control; quickly, North Dakota tried to tell her alliance members who to vote for, but there wasn't enough time; Chef approached her menacingly, with the warning, "No talkin'." And so, nobody knew who was voting for what.

"Thank you!" Chris shouted, swiping the papers from the girls' hands. "And remember! No cheating. I made that a rule a little while back after some incidents. I probably should've specified earlier, but what's done is done. Let's count these up, shall we?"

He then spent the next few minutes flipping through the notes, raising his eyebrows, and writing down a few names on his clipboard, while hastily scratching out one particular name in general. "Alright! Let's do this!" Chris exclaimed, throwing all the votes behind him with no regard for the fact that he was on historic property. "First person safe is California! You get some candy, girl. Nice going."

She squealed in excitement as a couple of tootsie rolls landed into her lap. "Next up... South Dakota!" Chris shouted, throwing hard candy at her, very much to her dismay. "Hahah. Heh. I love throwing candy at kids. The two of you were the only ones to not receive any votes! I have to say, it was close tonight..."

Chris clicked his tongue, in apparent dissatisfaction with the girls. "The next safe girl is... North Dakota!" he yelled, throwing her some M&M's. "No surprise there. It'd be really weird if you got kicked off this early into the finals. Let's see... and after you is Virginia! Candy for you! Just one vote for the two of you."

This left Arizona and Mississippi without candy. Arizona seemed shocked to be standing there without any candy, and in the final two, whereas Mississippi just seemed relieved. "There's only one piece of candy for the two of you!" Chris pointed out, as though that fact wasn't incredibly obvious enough to everyone else already. "Who's it gonna go to? Nobody knows... except me. Heh. Y'know, I could totally fib about the result on any of these voting ceremonies, and nobody would know."

That fact took a few seconds to sink in with everybody. Instantly, the contestants started wondering if Chris had ever done that. "Not that I _would_ do that," Chris stammered, backing away defensively. "Or that I _have_ done that. Because I haven't. Um. Yeah. Right. The contestant staying home... is..."

...

...

...

"Arizona! That's hardly a surprised. She only got one vote, whereas Mississippi got three. Sorry! _You're_ going home."

Mississippi smiled radiantly in relief, happy to finally be free of this god-forsaken show. "Thanks, y'all," she said with a small smile. "I'm glad I get to go home. Arizona... Virginia? Y'all are the best."

She hugged the both of them, though it was quite clear there was a small degree of tension in the air; having Mississippi off the show meant that the alliances were now unbalanced again. Mississippi retreated back into the bus to retrieve her bag, which she'd already packed, anticipating the voting ceremony's results. "Alright!" she said, blinking in the brilliance of a bright early morning. "Time to..."

Mississippi froze, looking off into the distance at her taxi, where...

Alabama stood, giving her a friendly wave. Mississippi squealed, dropped her bag, and sprinted off to collide into a tight hug with him. Chris rolled his eyes, picked up Mississippi's bag, and handed it to Chef, stating, "Make sure she gets this. Hmph. Well, that's Mississippi gone. I guess this act is over, then."

"_What?_" everyone cried.

"Yep!" Chris yelled with a big smile. "Act 3 is officially over! You kids are going up to Toronto for another _exciting Aftermath episode! _After that, we're doing another merge! I hope I haven't surprised too many of you that this was going to happen. The writing's been on the walls for _ages_."

North Dakota took a palm to the face, and muttered, "Great. Just what we needed. I thought we wouldn't merge until December."

"Wrong again!" Chris declared, smiling and stepping away. "Back onto the buses, kiddos. It's a looong journey up north."

**END OF ACT 3**

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, and Mississippi.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **StayOuttaMyShed, Guest, Elizabeth Agosta, Curcle, Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN, and TheNightPrincess!

**aspiringAnimator** - This challenge idea was seriously thought up in the middle of that Civil War challenge about a week ago. Seriously, I was in the middle of writing, and the idea popped into my head just like that. I had to use it. Originally, we were supposed to do a _surfing challenge_ for Alabama, even though the surfing here _sucks_. Seriously, you can't surf at all. We've got beaches, sure, but I think this was a _way_ better challenge. Fun to write for, too.

Sorry about Mississippi! Without Alabama, there's no WAY she would've gotten this far, and I kind of wanted to make that fact obvious with this episode. She's one of the only contestants to vote for herself, though; the other being Kansas, I think. And yes! This IS the end of Act 3. Next up is the Aftermath, which our dear-beloved Blaineley hosts. We haven't seen her in AGES! I really do love writing for her, the beginning of Act 2 was such a blast with her. After the Aftermath is The Final Merge. It's happening, you guys. All the contestants are going to be together for the very first time.

By the way... is roadtrip a word? It's always underlined in red like it's misspelled, but I ignore that usually. But recent searches in the dictionary have revealed that roadtrip isn't a word. It's road trip. With a space. Oh no. I misspelled the title of the fic and now there's no going back.


	41. Aftermath 3

**AFTERMATH TEAMS**

**Supporting Team Freedom** - Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania

**Supporting Team Fabulous** - Colorado, Georgia, Maine, Nebraska, New Mexico

**BEGINNING OF INTERMISSION 3**

**EPISODE 40: AFTERMATH 3**

_"Take your seat, because we're not allowed to focus on minor characters for more than a designated forty-five seconds." - Blaineley_

**Wednesday, November 19th, 2014. Toronto, Canada. 6:00 PM.**

"Hellooo, _Toronto!_" a shrill voice cried, facing an entire audience with an over-sized smile. "You're joining me _live_ with the third Aftermath for... _The Fifty State Roadtriiip!_ Woo _hoo!_" The audience cheered for the woman on stage, who had picked out her most elegant red dress for the event. "We're here for an _exciting tradition_ in Total Drama history!" she cried, waving her hands around excitedly.

Blaineley O'Halloran clapped her hands together in ecstasy; the ruler of her own little show. Once every month and a half, she got the chance to appear before millions of fans around the world. This would be the penultimate Aftermath for The Fifty State Roadtrip, and she _certainly_ wasn't going to miss out on that. So, here she was on a Wednesday evening; her taunting face projected onto millions of screens around the country.

"Let's get started with the night's events!" she began, walking across the stage so she could address everybody. "Over the last month, _ten_ lovely contestants have been _brutally kicked off_ the show _just_ as it was getting good! Right now, there are only eleven contestants left... but _one_ of them is going home _tonight!_ Who's it going to be? Well... first off, let's welcome our _first loser!_ Maine! Come on up!"

Maine walked on stage, wearing a casual hoodie and some jeans. She waved to the audience with a friendly smile, and shook Blaineley's hand. "Hi, guys!" she greeted. "It's nice to be back with everyone again!"

"I'm sure!" Blaineley acknowledged, as though she couldn't care less. "Maine, _you_ were voted off in an act of _deceit_ by New York. He _cheated_ to get you voted off, and is _still in the game_, as is Massachusetts, your boyfriend. How do you feel about that? I _imagine_ you're quite ups-"_  
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"Hold on, back up," Maine quickly said, holding up both of her hands and stepping away. "Massachusetts isn't my boyfriend. He doesn't like me. This isn't a thing that happened."

"Oh, but the _fans_ would _love_ to disagree with you!" Blaineley squealed, indicating the audience with a sweeping hand. "Mainachusetts is one of the _top_ pairings on top Total Drama sites. You have _so much fan art!_ I'm a little jealous, actually! How's your love life been since Massachusetts's disappeared from your life for the past month?"

"Again, we're _not dating,_" Maine insisted, somewhat flustered. "We're good friends. He's one of the first people who started up a conversation with me on the show, and he's consistently _not_ been a jerk the whole time."

"You seem to support him so ardently!" Blaineley proclaimed with a fake smile. "Yet you're supporting Team Fabulous, despite not knowing any of the girls on that team! What's up with that, hm?" Maine sighed, and seemed slightly wary of Blaineley's intrusive nature. "Well... I mean, I'm a girl," she stated the obvious, indicating herself. "And Massachusetts is alright - I _definitely_ support him - but after watching the entire season so far, I have to identify with Arizona and Virginia better. Even South Dakota, from what I've seen. Which is why I'm rooting for one of them to win."

"Ah!" Blaineley exclaimed, raising her eyebrows. "It seems you're a little sad that Massachusetts isn't with you anymore. Well, _I've_ got just the clip that might bring up some _happy memories_-"

"_Seriously_, I don't _like him like that!_" Maine exclaimed, pissed off at Blaineley now. "We were _always friends!_ He told _me_ about the fact that he's bi first. And no, I don't want to see any clips of whatever happened back when-"

"Play the clip!" Blaineley ordered with a smile. "Let's have a _flashback_."

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_15_mp3**

_"With two votes, New York!"_

_"What?" Maine yelped. "But - that doesn't make any rational sense! If New York got two votes, and nobody else but me got the other votes, then I should have two votes!"_

_"Actually... you had three," Chris pointed out. "You got three votes. New York got two. Five votes total, four contestants... someone cheated."_

_There was a long pause as the realization dawned upon everybody. "Since I cannot prove who did it, though I have a fairly good idea of who did," Chris then said, "I'm afraid I'll have to oblige this turn in events! Sorry, Maine, you're goin' home!"_

_"No!" Massachusetts cried. "No, she - she can't! Holy shit - New York, you fucking cheated!"_

"Spare me," Maine muttered sarcastically. "Can I sit down now? I'm only really here to participate in the debate and to see some of my other friends." Blaineley grinned pseudo-cheerily at her, and yelled, "Sure! Pop a seat in the peanut gallery over there, because I need to introduce our next ex-contestant. Audience, give a _rousing applause_ for _Louisiana!_"

The live audience clapped politely for Louisiana, who walked on stage wearing an elegant black dress. "Hi, y'all!" she greeted everybody, smiling widely. "It's so much fun to be back here! I'm - I'm not too late, am I? I was wondering, because at first security wouldn't let me in backst-"

"No, no, you're absolutely fine!" Blaineley said, and then screamed with laughter. "Ohhh, Louisiana. How's life back in the Big Easy?" she asked. "I understand that you were _quite_ well-supported by many of your friends and neighbors back home! You've got one of the largest fan bases, after all. How's that experience been?"

Louisiana looked off into the distance, enraptured by her recollections, and said, "Oh, wow, it was... I never even thought I had that much support. Like, _random people_ I'd never even _met_ before were cheerin' for me. I mean, of course, I got kicked off, but at least I made it to the first merge! That's nice, right?"

Blaineley nodded pseudo-sweetly, and patted Louisiana on the head. "Take a seat, Louisiana!" she instructed with a smile. "Our next guess is _also_ from Team Touchdown! Georgia, come on up! You have a loving audience to address!"

Seconds later, and Georgia was walking on stage, waving at everyone and smiling her biggest smile. "Hiii!" she greeted. "Is it okay if I go by my real name? I don't really like bein' called Georgia, an' it's not like it's even hard to find out my real name online or whatever-"

"_No!_" Blaineley yelled sternly, her entire friendly exterior dissolving away within seconds. "As you might know, the eleven contestants still on the show are still listening to everything we're saying, so _no_, you can't say your real name. So sorry!"

"But it doesn't even matter!" Georgia insisted. "It's just a name. An' I'm already voted off, so who cares?"

"The _producers care_ and _I__ care_," growled Blaineley, and she pointed at Louisiana and Maine in the peanut gallery. "Go sit down, Georgia. You'll be able to talk _all you want_ in tonight's debate, where we decide which team's going to the voting ceremony. Not only that, but we need to introduce our next contestant, who I'm sure the fans are simply _dying_ to meet. Come on up, Nebraska. You're live on The Fifty State Roadtrip's Aftermath."

A tentative Nebraska slowly walked on stage, wearing a handsome, though slightly undersized tuxedo and an absolutely nervous expression. "Hi..." he stammered, approaching Blaineley. She giggled, pinched his cheek roughly, and exclaimed, "You are _so cute!_ Oooh! I could just _eat you up_. So, Nebraska, how've you been? How's your _blog?_ I've heard you started something up!"

"Oh, uh, yeah..." he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Blaineley out of fear. "Sort of. It's not really a big deal. I just, uh... talk about my feelings and stuff, and about my predictions for the show, so... yeah."

"I've heard!" Blaineley said with a wide, strained smile. "Just last week, you stated that you yourself predicted that _Virginia_ will win. Why do you think that? And, more importantly, why are you supporting Team Fabulous, even though North Dakota's still on the team?"

Nebraska blinked, and raptly responded, "Well, Virginia has been through the most out of any contestant, so she has the most story line. She's the most likely to win the show, _and_ she's the last surviving member of Team America. I'm not worried about North Dakota, because she's an antagonist, and what kind of person would make an antagonist win the game? The show would be unprofitable."

"I'm not really sure what you're talking about!" Blaineley exclaimed cheerily. "Go sit down, Nebraska. There is no _pre-planned __story_. There is only the show!"

Nebraska sat down in his designated position at the peanut gallery, as Blaineley faced the audience once more. "Six more ex-contestants, everyone!" she revealed, as though her viewers could not do simple math. "Colorado is next! One of my _personal _favorites from Team Dakota. Where are you, Colorado? The fans want to see you!"

Colorado, in a bright white suit, strode confidently on stage. "Good evening," he said into the microphone once he'd reached Blaineley. "It's a pleasure to be here tonight."

"Sure it is!" Blaineley yelled, doubting him. "You had an _interesting_ time on the show. For the majority of the game, you were North Dakota's often mute service-boy, all the way up until the first merge! When you finally got away from her, you grew so infatuated with the concept of 'free will', that you turned into a _real jerk!_ How's being a loser feel?"

The way that Blaineley insulted him with a smile on her face seemed to really get to him, because his polite visage quickly morphed into that of strong annoyance. "It's felt _great_, thank you," he snapped. "I spent three and a half months of my life on some _stupid_ show - _most_ of the time being North Dakota's _underling_ - and I get kicked right off just a few nights before things start to get good. Couple that with the fact that apparently _very_ few people from home were rooting for me - I feel _great_."

"That's _fantastic!_" Blaineley squealed, clapping her hands together in feigned joy. "Well, Colorado, I'll need you to take a seat, because we have more important contestants to meet. Friends, fans - put your hands together for _New Mexicooo!_"

New Mexico bounded on stage, not even wearing formal clothing. He still wasn't wearing his shades after he'd taken them off after the Halloween challenge. "Hey!" he yelled, and ignored Blaineley's outstretched hand, instead focusing his attention on the audience. "It's awesome to be back!" he yelled with a giant smile. "Go Arizona! Woo!"

"Wow, settle down, now," Blaineley nervously muttered, eyeing him with a disapproving stare. "Yes, yes, we all know you are happy to be on the show again, if only for thirty minutes. How have you been coping since you've been away from Arizona? I imagine you've been absolutely _heartbroken_."

"Not really!" New Mexico honestly exclaimed. "I still get to see her and stuff on TV. Go Team Fab! Hah. Team Freedom's cool, too - don't get me wrong - but I am one hundred percent on the girls' side. Arizona, and - and _Virginia_, and Mississippi - er, no, not Mississippi - well, you get my point. And I get the feeling California will pull through eventually!"

"Quite the brazen statements you've made!" Blaineley said with a sweet smile, though she clearly didn't care at all. "Well, New Mexico, you're in luck, because the fans have been calling for a montage of _your_ moments. Up until your elimination, you were one of the most liked contestants! Your long-term romance with Arizona was a beacon of _hope_ for the love-stricken around the globe. Er, probably, I'm not really sure, I'm just reading from a script here," she muttered. "But what am _I_ talking about? The next few minutes are going to be _yours_, New Mexico. Play the clip!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_16_mp3**

_New Mexico was a buff-looking, but friendly dude with a visor and sunglasses underneath short, cropped blonde hair. At his side was Oregon, a guy with sandy-colored hair and a short, stylish purple t-shirt. He looked withdrawn and shy, but seemed fit. "Hi," he muttered somewhat unnecessarily. And lastly was Washington. He had somewhat shaggy brown hair and glasses, but a face that seemed to analyze everything around him. He stood at Oregon's side. "You ten make up the Pacific team!" Chris announced. "Figure out a name that sounds good. I'll be right here."_

_"Yo, hey guys!" New Mexico suddenly yelled, extending a hand towards Idaho, who shook it cautiously. "M'name's... uh, 'New Mexico'. I was thinkin'... what if we had a name, like, Victory, or somethin'?"_

_"Uh, yeah, we've already had a team with that na-" Chris began, only to be cut off by praises of New Mexico's excellent idea._

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_17_mp3**

_New Mexico seemed to be having trouble getting the words, out, but plowed on nonetheless. "About, like... me and you. You've been a great friend to me. But... you and I both know that there's not much time on these shows. If Team Victory lost again... I couldn't imagine what it'd be like without having you to talk to. You've been amazing, and I can't help but wonder if we could be... um... something... more?"_

_Arizona seemed awed by New Mexico's speech. After a brief pause, she slowly stated, "New Mexico... I don't know what to say. I... I mean, I feel the same way... sure, we may have to deal with dehumanizing challenges every few days, but I do know that there's one thing to make our time on this show better..."_

_"What?"_

_"...this."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_18_mp3**

_"Ah, well, I propose we become 'Team New Mexico'!" New Mexico declared in an incredibly silly accent, mocking North Dakota as his sunglasses glinted sunlight. "After all, my good chums, we must display our strongest qualities, hmm?"  
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_Loud laughter followed New Mexico's banter. "Ohhh, dude, you're funny," Alabama gasped, clasping a hand on New Mexico's shoulder. "I like you already. But seriously, y'all, we gotta pick a name. Maybe we ought'a be Team Chris? Y'know, to get in on his good side?"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_19_mp3**

_"New Mexico, how about you?"_

_New Mexico seemed incredibly antsy. "Uhhh... yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on any kind of alliance..." he said nervously. "Like, um... I just... I don't want any alliance. Can't we all just be friends? Why can't we all be friends? We're a team of eight, for crying out loud."_

_"Aw, come on, New Mexico!" Texas said, clasping a hand on New Mexico's back. "Don't stay neutral! Man, you gotta be on our side for this, dude. We're counting on you."  
><em>

_New Mexico didn't answer. "Washington and Oregon are my friends..." he eventually said quietly. "And yeah, I guess - I don't have a problem with them being in an alliance or anything, but - can't we all be friends?"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_20_mp3**

_New Mexico and Arizona collided in a tight embrace in the middle of the stage. "Oh, god, baby, I'm so sorry," New Mexico sobbed. His shades were off; and his eyes were a brilliant, tear-stained blue. Arizona shook her head as much as she shook with the tears, and whispered, "No. It's okay. You didn't get voted off by anybody. That is the best way to go on this show..."_

_"Honey, you win this thing," New Mexico whispered into her ear. "You win it. Do whatever it takes. For us. I know you can make it. It'll be hard, but... I've got faith in you, babe!"_

_"I know you do," Arizona thickly responded, nodding slowly. The two were being watched by everybody; Team Fabulous, who were all peeking out from behind the curtains, and the entire audience, which seemed speechless. "You are the most compassionate girl I know, Arizona," New Mexico muttered in a rough voice._

The clip ended there. New Mexico started chuckling. "Oh, man, I haven't even watched most of that yet," he admitted with a shrug. "I do gotta say that I had a ton of fun on that show. Big ups to my friends Tex, Washington, Hawaii, Oregon - screw it, I love everybody on there. Kinda sucked how I had to go so soon."

"That's the general consensus among fans, yes," Blaineley crooned, giving him a pained smile. "It's clear you were _very_ well liked. I give my condolences to Arizona. For now, however, you need to take a seat, because we _really_ quite need to move the show along with the next few ex-contestants. Audience, put your hands together for - _Pennsylvania!_"

As New Mexico took his designated seat, Pennsylvania appeared on stage, seeming just a little bit too nervous to be there. "H-hi..." she stammered, almost tripping over her simple pink dress as she approached Blaineley. "I'm Pennsylvania..."

"We had _no idea!_" Blaineley exclaimed, and then screamed with laughter along with the audience. "Welcome to the Aftermath, Pennsylvania," Blaineley sighed once she was done. "Can I call you Penn? Everyone seems to call you Penn. It seems like such a nice-"

"Just, uh, call me Pennsylvania..." Pennsylvania muttered, being really put off by Blaineley's persistence. "Really, um, it's fine..."

Blaineley clapped her hands together awkwardly, ignored Pennsylvania's statement, and said, "So! Penn. You were one of the _most_ insignificant contestants on the show to get as far as you did! As far as we know, the only role you played was as a potential love interest for New York! How did it feel to always be outside the limelight?"_  
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Pennsylvania clearly seemed both offended and annoyed by Blaineley. "Uh, I didn't really have a problem with it," she reported honestly. "I'm not one to seek attention or anything like that. I'm happy to get as far as I did. It was more than I ever really deserved. Also, no, I was not - I wasn't _interested in New York_. Just because one person is a girl and the other person is a guy doesn't mean they have to _always be paired together_. And - okay, forget the guy and girl specifications, because I've seen way too much lesbian fan art of me and Maine, and I'm not even a-"

"That's all the time we have for you, Penn!" Blaineley shrieked, facing the cameras with a distant smile. "Take your seat, because we're not allowed to focus on minor characters for more than a designated forty-five seconds. Next up is _Oklahoma!_ Come on up!"

Oklahoma defiantly walked onstage, wearing casual clothing, an arm in a cast, and a grim expression. "I can see that you're supporting Team Freedom now!" Blaineley informed her with an imposing, feigned smile. "Why is that? We all thought you were all for North Dakota the whole way through! That _was_ part of your brilliant plan, after all."

A roll of the eyes from Oklahoma. "Uh-huh. I know, I know," she mumbled. "North Dakota played me big time. I watched the episode. I'm aware of what happened. You don't need to remind me, Blaineley."

"Oh, but the fans _loved_ that episode," Blaineley jeered, grinning maliciously. "It was one of their favorites! To see one of North Dakota's long-time supporters get _thrown off the show_ with little regrets... really _entertaining stuff_. Dramatic, too. North Dakota is _still_ in the show, operating a three-person strong alliance. I _assume_ this is why you're supporting Team Freedom!"

"You _might_ be right!" Oklahoma mocked, copying Blaineley's exact voice. "My _arm's_ broken, _very_ few people at home were supporting me, and I lost my chance to get a million dollars. I am in _such_ a good mood! Couple all that with the fact that I'm being _hounded_ by celebrity gossipers every second, and I may just be the _happiest girl in the world_."_  
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"The sarcasm is strong with this one!" Blaineley said, facing the audience, who all laughed. "You should meet Indiana. I bet the two of you would get along _really well_. In fact... since you're in _such_ a good mood, Oklahoma, why not take a look at your clip? Roll it!"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_21_mp3**

_"I'm still... really confused as to why I was voted off by my own friends," Oklahoma said, trying to get North Dakota's attention. North Dakota groaned, clearly fed up with just about everybody. "Ugh. Oklahoma! Look at yourself!" North Dakota ordered, pointing at Oklahoma's sling. "You. Are. Injured. How am I supposed to run an alliance with someone who's injured? The answer to that is I can't."_

_A long pause._

_"You're sick," South Dakota muttered under her breath. Oklahoma nodded, in tears. "I supported you!" Oklahoma blubbered, tears beginning to stream down her face. "You were my friend! How could you just - just throw me aside like this?"_

_"We were never friends," North Dakota revealed, disgusted. "Now go pack your shit and get out of here."_

Oklahoma crossed her arms, and asked, "Can I sit down now? I really just want to get today over with as quickly as possible, if you don't mind."

"Yeah, sure," Blaineley mumbled, disappointed in Oklahoma's lack of a reaction. She permitted Oklahoma to sit down at her spot, and faced the cameras, exclaiming, "Our final two contestants we are _very_ happy to have here! These two have been so _adorably__ lovable_. They're the classic couple, and they are _here_ to talk about the _show!_ Come on up... Alabama and _Mississippiii!_"

The two bounded on stage, holding hands and waving rabidly at the audience. "Hey, y'all!" Alabama shouted, happy to just be there. Blaineley smiled half-assedly, and remarked, "It looks like the two of you are still going strong, even after all the events of the last week. How were your eliminations?"

"Good," Alabama answered, still waving. Mississippi nodded. It was clear the two hadn't even heard what Blaineley said. Blaineley sighed, and yelled, "Well, it looks like the two of you are all set! Take your seats, so we can begin the-"

"Hold on. You just introduced us," Mississippi pointed out, seeming concerned. "Don't we get more than-"

"Nope! You're boring!" Blaineley told Mississippi, and then said to Alabama, "And _you're_ an exact duplicate of Texas, although with a girlfriend and less religiously bigoted! The two of you! _Go sit down!_ We're already halfway through our airtime, and we need to get on with the debate. We're live, y'know."

"Oh, _cool!_" Alabama exclaimed, walking to the peanut gallery with Mississippi by his side. With those two out of the way, Blaineley cleared her throat, and smiled at the audience for about the tenth time that evening. "It's time for the main event!" she exclaimed, gesturing grandly with her arms at the ten ex-contestants. "The _debate_. Here's how this'll go down, for the viewers that didn't turn up for the previous Aftermath. Each loser has already chosen the team they're supporting, and will engage in a large debate. The team to successfully get a majority vote wins! The team that doesn't... goes to the voting ceremony. One of the eleven contestants left on the show will be going _home tonight_. It could be any one of them... but who?"

The ten ex-contestants all stood, and walked up to two huge podiums in the middle of the stage. "Begin the debate!" Blaineley instructed, checking her watch. "You have at most _ten minutes_ to come to a conclusion. I'll be waiting right here."

"Alright!" New Mexico instantly yelled, being the first to speak. "I'm speaking for Team Fabulous! I'm supporting this team because of Arizona. It looks like I'm not the only one to support 'em!"

A few nods were shared. "But... North Dakota's on Team Fabulous," Pennsylvania pointed out nervously. "And I _know_ none of us support her at _all_. The boys are a lot nicer, from what I can tell. Plus, they've got six people, whereas Team Fabulous has just five... Team Freedom's going to be a winner..."

"Go _Tex!_" Alabama suddenly boomed, pumping his fist up in the air. "He's the _man!_ Y'all, he's the only guy on the show who's a cool enough dude to get ahead in the game. That's where my money's goin'. I dunno about you guys." Mississippi, upon hearing this, cheered, and noticed Georgia standing at the other podium. "Georgia!" Mississippi yelled, vaguely confused. "Come over here so we can cheer for Tex!"

Georgia fidgeted nervously, and mumbled, "Um... I don't know... Tex is a nice guy and all, but I kind of, um... I like Team Fabulous a lot better. Like... Arizona an' Virginia. They seem really down to Earth and nice, so... I'm supportin' them..."

"Yeah," Colorado agreed, nodding. "Though I kind of sympathize with North Dakota now. I mean, sure, she's a huge bitch, I'm not gonna lie about that. But she's going to win this thing if nobody's careful. So I'm gonna support her, and maybe she'll give me some of the prize money at the very end."

"Team Fab all the way!" New Mexico yelled in the hopes that Arizona would be safe from a voting ceremony. "Girls are the best at this game."

"Then explain why they've only got five contestants remaining, as opposed to six," Louisiana snapped. "The boys have got this game under control. Washington is most likely gonna win. If not, then his boyfriend will, just 'cause everyone seems to like him. And besides, most of the boys are likable, whereas some of the girls are _not_. Team Freedom should win this one."

Maine frowned slightly, and reconsidered her choice to support Team Fabulous. "But Arizona and Virginia... they're the real heroes," Maine argued, trying to convince herself. "Think about everything that Virginia's been through. Her issues with West Virginia... Ohio... Illinois... then being the last person left... if anybody should win, it is _her_. She deserves it most."

"But... Massachusetts is on Team Freedom," Pennsylvania reminded her friend. "And from what I can tell, he's got a nice shot at winning. And New York. Maine... Maine, you should support Team Freedom. All of our old friends are on it."

"No, you _shouldn't!_" New Mexico quickly interrupted. "You are _totally right about Arizona!_ Arizona is a real hero, or whatever! And _she_ deserves to win, which is why Team Fab should win the debate."

"I'm pretty sure you're only sayin' that 'cause she's your girlfriend..." Alabama muttered under his breath. "No offense, dude, but that's a little shallow."

"Team Freedom has too many people, anyway!" New Mexico argued, growing more panicked. "They have, like - six contestants! They need to be taken down a peg-"

"Like half of 'em are your _friends!_" Georgia cried, astonished at New Mexico, even though she supported Team Fabulous. "If Team Freedom goes to the voting ceremony tonight, then one of 'em might go home! And if not - then it'll be New York and Tex, and you _like 'em, too!_"

New Mexico realized the grim reality of the show: it was really hard for him to pick a side when he liked just about _everybody_. "_Dammit!_" he cried, banging on his podium. "I just... I dunno. Any of you guys gonna help me on this? Team Fab supporters?"

Maine rubbed her arm nervously, and mumbled, "Um... I dunno... I kind of _do_ support Massachusetts. And New York, in a weird way. I just don't want the girls to lose another challenge. Shouldn't the teams be equal in terms of gender? If Team Fabulous goes to voting tonight, then it'll be six versus four later on. And that's unequal!"

"Doesn't matter," Alabama casually claimed. "They'll all be finalists. That means there won't be no teams. Ain't gonna be no teams, so that means it's every man for himself. An' Tex - _Tex_ is _good_ at that kinda thing. He really is."

Just then, Blaineley loudly asked, "Are we ready to vote? Because we're almost out of time here, and we need to show the voting ceremony for whichever team loses."

It was then decided for the vote to take place. Blaineley stood before the two teams of ex-contestants, and cried, "For those of you supporting Team Freedom, _raise your hands!_"

Alabama and Mississippi instantly shot up their hands. Slowly, Oklahoma and Pennsylvania raised _their_ hands. Regrettably, Louisiana raised hers, and then...

Maine raised her hand somewhat uncertainly. That was it. Six votes, even though Maine originally supported Team Fabulous. "Then we have a victor!" Blaineley yelled, smiling brilliantly at the thought of the fresh drama that was surely about to transpire on the show. "Let's switch _right over_ to the bus cam to check it out. Team Fabulous, you're about to have _one contestant short!_"

**6:48 PM.**

"_Then we have a victor! Let's switch right over to the bus cam to check it out. Team Fabulous, you're about to have one contestant short!_"

The radio fizzled, and then garbled out, leaving South Dakota, California, and North Dakota in silence. The other two girls were in a bunk room, listening to the radio broadcast by themselves. "Oh, no..." South Dakota mumbled, looking concerned.

North Dakota smirked. Everything was going according to plan. Who cared about which team lost, as long as one of her adversaries was voted off? "Girls, we're voting for Arizona tonight," North Dakota declared.

South Dakota nervously glanced between California and North Dakota. The last time she'd tried to defy her own sister didn't go so well, and she eventually shook her head at Virginia's request. But California was a bit more resistant.

"No!" California protested when she heard North Dakota wanted to vote off Arizona. "North Dakota - _no_ - we _can't!_ Arizona is my _friend!_"

"Arizona is the _enemy!_" North Dakota snapped, glaring at California's insubordination. "And you're _going_ to vote for her, or else you'll be viewed as an enemy to _me_. Now, is that _clear?_ California, we're about to _win here_. Do this for me, and you get a top spot in my alliance past the merge."

California hesitated. A figure was approaching their bus, and beckoning for the girls to come outside. "I... guess that's just something I'll have to live with," she said haltingly. North Dakota narrowed her eyes at California, and the air grew _very_ thick. "You wouldn't," North Dakota eventually predicted. "You're going to vote with me against Arizona, or South and I will vote against _you_."

"Callie, _please_, just... do as my sister says," South Dakota begged, horrified at the current turn of events. North Dakota merely rolled her eyes, and said, "Yeah, 'Callie'. Do as I say, and I can make you _rich_. And even if you _don't_, I'll still be tied with their alliance. And I will _build_ my alliance past the merge, mark my words. Mark my _fucking words_."

"You're... you're _insane_," California eventually muttered, staring straight at North Dakota. "I thought you were an okay person! You were - you _listened to me!_ I thought you just wanted to be friends, but _no!_ You just wanted to _use me_ as a-"

"_Hey!_" Chris shouted, rapping on the bus doors from the outside. "Come on _out_, girls. We've got an elimination ceremony to take care of.

The discussion was over, and the five girls were forced to climb out the bus. Chris handed each of them a slip of paper. "Write down who you're voting for with _this!_" he sternly instructed. "_No cheating_. We had an _incident_ during the _last_ Aftermath voting ceremony, and it seems like tensions are pretty... well, tense, tonight. So _behave_."

The votes were all in. It took Arizona and Virginia some time to each figure out who to vote for. South Dakota got special encouragement from her sister, much to California's dismay. Chris counted each of the votes up, and chuckled at the end.

"Let's _do this!_" he exclaimed, and scribbled a few things on his clipboard. "Here's how it goes. Since I was getting my teeth whitened for the past four hours, I didn't have any time to get candy. So you'll all have to deal with me just yelling out the names here. Is that cool? None of my _interns_ got any candy for us."_  
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Chris then glared at an indeterminate position behind him, where a few of the interns worked. "Let's start," he said, surveying the list. "Ay-ay-ay... Arizona! No votes."

...

"South Dakota? _You're safe_. As usual. I'm not sure if you've _ever_ gotten any votes."

...

"Annnd... Virginia. No votes for you, either. This just leaves California and North Dakota."

Indeed it did. The two eyed each other; North Dakota with smug confidence, and California with a horrified, dawning comprehension. Chris smirked. "One of you got two votes, and the other got three!" he exclaimed. "But... the votes aren't for who you think they are. The contestant that's safe on tonight's episode... _is_..."

...

...

...

"_CALIFORNIA!_"

"_WHAT?"_ North Dakota screamed, when the name she was expecting wasn't cried. Chris just stood there, grinning, as the realization collided with them all like a sack of bricks. "Wait - my _sister_ is going _home?_" South Dakota cried, terrified. "That - _this isn't possible!_ Chris! You're _lying!_" North Dakota screamed.

"Okay! You got me!" Chris said with a shrug. "I lied. California, you're going home tonight. Sorry. I just wanted to have a little fun! Can't blame me for that, can you?"

North Dakota sighed in relief, muttering under her breath, "_Thank god_..." as California's expression welled up in emotion. "So... I got _three votes?_" California asked, looking towards Arizona and Virginia. "One of you _voted for me?_"

Virginia whipped her head to stare at Arizona. "You _didn't vote for North Dakota?_" she whispered. "What the _fuck, Arizona? _We - _I think we could've gotten her off_."

"We... we could have?" Arizona stammered, realization crashing over her. "Ohhh... _fuck_, fuck, _fuuuck_... no, that's not - that's not possible, Callie would've voted against me-"

"_California voted against North Dakota!_" Virginia yelled, jumping up and pointing at Arizona accusingly. "Why the hell would you vote for you own old _teammate?_"

Arizona shrugged weakly, and stammered, "Well, I - I mean - she was on North Dakota's side! She thought that girl was actually _good!_ You don't expect me to _trust_ her after that, do... um... do you?"

"I can't believe you voted for me..." California whispered, viewing this as betrayal. "_Why?_ We were, like - _best friends_-"

"You were hanging out with North Dakota now!" Arizona protested, standing up. "It's not _my_ fault if I thought you were still - augh - I just thought we could take North Dakota's alliance down a peg by-"

"Forget it..." California muttered, shoving past Arizona. "I wanna go home. _Thank you_, Arizona, for - _for sending me home. _Oh, my gosh, this is the _worst day ever..._"

"Hold on - Callie! _Wait!_" South Dakota cried, but she was already climbing into the bus to collect her things. "That's what she gets," North Dakota remarked with a bored stare. "That is _what she gets_. _That_ is your fate when you oppose me."_  
><em>

Arizona revolved on the spot to stare at North Dakota with a hate-filled glare. "You have _no idea_ how close you were to getting kicked off," Arizona muttered in a low tone. "You _should've_ been kicked off. I have _no_ sympathy for you. You _betrayed_ Callie the _instant _she didn't want to follow one of your orders."

North Dakota groaned, as though she was getting rather bored of Arizona. "Uh. Hello? Earth to Arizona?" North Dakota said in a mocking voice. "You _also_ betrayed California. Your own _friend_. You voted for her. You should be _ashamed of yourself_."

"She wasn't even on my alliance!" Arizona cried, stepping away from everybody. "I don't see why this is such a big deal! North Dakota's the _real_ culprit here! Why am _I_ suddenly the bad guy? This is - hey - Callie! Hear me out!"

California was walking out the bus, her bag in tote, and quickly striding across the Toronto parking lot to the awaiting taxi. "_Callie!_" Arizona cried, waving to her old friend. "_Please!_ _Listen_ to me! I have an explanation! It's - _North Dakota betrayed you, and you know it!_"

Her words didn't reach. California apparently felt as though she was being betrayed by everybody, and with a heavy heart, she climbed into the taxi, and slammed the door shut.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_181_mp3**

"My _own friend!_ I mean - sure, we didn't talk _that_ much, but... I can't _believe her!_ Arizona, out of all people! This is what happens. Alliances _corrupt_ people. They corrupted North Dakota, and they _especially_ corrupted Arizona. Arizona is the girl that stayed behind to help Alaska. And now, right when she thinks I still supported North Dakota - _which I didn't _- she votes for me."

California

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_182_mp3**

"Please, everybody - _hear me __out_. You _heard_ North Dakota. She wanted to send _me_ home. What other _choice did I have?_ And _I _didn't _know_ Callie suddenly hated North Dakota. I would've gladly accepted her onto my alliance! I _had no idea_ - _how_ do any of you expect me to have known? Virginia and I were alone in a room listening to the Aftermath! I didn't know Callie suddenly rebelled! Augh... man, no... I miss her. I miss her already. I should've _warned her_ more about North Dakota."

Arizona

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_183_mp3**

"Pfft. So, there's California gone. I'm always sure to get rid of anyone the instant they oppose me from within my own alliance. I'll be fine. I've got South to support me, and I'm sure I can find a couple of loser boys to support me. If only California wasn't such an idiot about this. She could've stayed in the game. Eventually voted off by me, yes, but still in the game."

North Dakota

**END OF INTERMISSION 3**

**ELIMINATED: **Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, and California.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Winkie4, StayOuttaMyShed, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - And California is down. She wouldn't be final-act material, trust me. Initially she wasn't even planned to get this far. I do feel bad for her, though - and if Arizona had just coordinated with Virginia, North Dakota could potentially have gone down. I do realize that was a messy elimination ceremony. I was very limited in my options for how it could go down - there are only five girls, not even mentioning that this is an Aftermath episode, and therefore little context could be established as to the eliminatee. California was always supposed to eventually oppose North Dakota, though.

That's the end of the final intermission! Yep, that's the last one. Not the last Aftermath, though I can't say more on when it will take place. No more will there be Teams Freedom and Fabulous; everyone will be merged for the last time. One bus. Ten remaining contestants.

Ten remaining contestants means that the poll has been lowered to just ONE VOTE! You can only vote for one person now! So, um... go do that!

Review if you can! I need criticisms and concerns. We've only got one more month in this fic. ONE MORE MONTH. Wow. That means we need to fix any issues with my writing, like, now. Spot any grammatical errors? Lemme know, because they're super embarrassing to me, and I was writing rather quickly.


	42. The Final Merge

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - Arizona, Hawaii, Massachusetts, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Virginia, and Washington.

**BEGINNING OF ACT 4**

**EPISODE 41: THE FINAL MERGE**

_"In a kingdom of clenched fists, the diplomat wins." - Washington_

**Sunday, November 23rd, 2014. Los Angeles, California. 10:00 AM.**

"Outside, contestants! Now!"

One by one, each of the ten contestants slowly climbed out of the two buses and onto the hot pavement of Los Angeles. Cool winds darted through gently waving palm trees, illuminated by a bright, shimmering sun. Off in the distance, the skyscrapers of downtown LA rocketed into the sky; the absolute pinnacles of modern human accomplishment, portrayed in modern monuments to gods of commerce. 2014 was a pretty interesting time period to live in.

Chris McLean stood sternly before the kids. He then broke into a huge smile. "Nice job, kids!" he exclaimed. "All of you made it to the finals! You're all officially finalists. Give yourself a round of applause."

The teens half-assedly clapped for themselves, though seemed much more eager to just get the merge over with. "Now that that's settled..." Chris muttered, looking over his clipboard. "It's time for the merge. Here's how this is going to work! I will continue to be the host! The two teams will merge together! However... it will not be a single one team. It'll be every man for himself. So... no, there are no teams at all. Just the ten final contestants. You will all be on one bus! Your new driver is..."

Chris turned to his side, and simply pointed at Chef, who grimaced at the contestants. "Chef!" Chris exclaimed with an amused smile. A few of the contestants began backing up in horror at this new revelation. "Oh, yes!" Chris exclaimed, narrowing his eyes at the ten kids. "It gets even better. Because we have so few contestants left, that means I'll be changing up the rules a little! I did this all the time on previous seasons, so it's okay. I mean - don't worry, nothing major, just... some major things that might change the outcome of the show to better fit CampTV's purposes."

Nobody quite knew how to react to that, but Chris plowed on irregardless, stating, "Anyways! Yeah. So not every challenge will have a voting ceremony at the end of it. Sometimes there will be weird criteria. But it's safe to say that most of them will have voting. Is that cool? Alright, good."

As one of the two buses drove off, Chris pointed vaguely at the one last bus, and yelled, "Go pick out your bunk room, and we'll drive to our destination. Don't worry, it's not that far away. Welcome to the finals, kids. I have a feeling this is going to be fun."

**10:11 AM.**

The ten all milled around the crowded bus, staking claims to any new bedding arrangements. Contestants that had been used to somewhat lax living arrangements, like Virginia with Team America or late Team Fabulous, soon found themselves trying to navigate through congested halls and rooms once more. The fact that the bus was moving slowly throughout the streets of LA didn't help, either.

"God, I hate walking around when the bus is moving like this..." New York mumbled, keeping his balance as the bus rounded another corner. "On the freeway is fine, I've got no problem with that, but... in cities? No, no, no..."

Both New York and Texas entered an empty bunk room, and laid out their stuff on the beds. "Honestly, I'm kind of glad we're in different teams now..." New York continued after Texas didn't respond. "It means no more fighting with Massachusetts, and - and the other guys... and it means we might have a chance, dude."

"I'm pretty sure the fightin's only gonna get worse," Texas muttered, fluffing up his new pillow. "Everyone's gonna be wantin' that million bucks. I know I do. At this point I think people are just gonna get real competitive about it all."

"Jesus, I hope not..." New York groaned, closing his eyes and imagining all the fights that would break out. "There's ten of us and only one victor. That's... that's a ten percent chance, right? A ten percent chance of winning?"

"Yeah, an' also a ten percent chance of gettin' voted off tonight," Texas scoffed, peeking out the window at the southern Californian city. "Goes both ways, York. Honestly, dude, I'm just surprised I even got this far..."

Just then, two girls peeked in through the door way. Their gaze immediately traveled to the two unoccupied bunks. "Uh... are those two beds occupied?" Virginia asked, while Arizona stood behind her, craning her neck to get a better look. "Uhhh... no, y'all can have 'em," Texas reassured, pointing unnecessarily at the two bunks. "Knock yourselves out."

"Thanks..." Virginia mumbled, dropping her bag on the top bunk, opposite to New York's. "I just wanted to... y'know, avoid bunking in the same room as North Dakota again. I hope you guys don't mind. I'm Virginia, by the way, and this is Arizona."

Arizona gave a friendly, if a little nonchalant wave to the two boys. New York nodded vaguely, and then turned his attention back to Texas. "I think a good strategy might be to just lay low," New York continued, as Texas unloaded his football and put it under the bed. "Or to take out the alliance leaders one by one. Like - like Washington. But I don't know how we're ever going to touch him-"

"Excuse me," Arizona interrupted, curiously glancing from Texas to New York. "But, uh... what are you guys talking about?"

New York waved a limp hand her way, and muttered, "It's nothing. Nothing. Just - just guy drama, is all. There's nothing to worry about."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_184_mp3**

"Okay. So. The new team means a new chance. But I get the feeling that this situation is going to go down much faster than before. The way Chris was talking earlier, he made it sound like he would intentionally affect the game to create more drama or whatever. So... I need to watch my back. I can't lay low for too long, either. Eventually... I'll need to take out one of my enemies. Massachusetts preferably."

New York

**10:14 AM.**

"...and remember, don't trust people who seem to be doing something out of the 'kindness of their hearts', Oregon. Chances are, they're up to no good."

Washington had chosen an empty bunk room for the two to sleep in. Their bags were already unpacked, and Oregon was in the process of spreading the sheets onto his bed when two girls walked in. South Dakota, following North Dakota, smiled at the boys, and asked, "Is it alright if we can be in this room?"

Oregon glanced at Washington, who just shrugged, eyeing North Dakota cautiously. "Thanks," South Dakota said, and plopped her things down on the bottom bunk of the bed opposite to Oregon's. If there were any problems with the bedding arrangements, Washington reasoned, it would always be possible to move later on in the season.

In a swift, calculated move, North Dakota turned around with a smile, and extended her hand to Washington. "It's a pleasure to officially meet you!" she exclaimed, carefully watching his facial expression for any possible discrepancies. "I'm North Dakota, as you likely know. I look forward to making your acquaintance, mister...?"

Washington almost seemed disgusted at her ploy. "You know my name. Don't act stupid," he told North Dakota blatantly. "I don't plan to ally with someone like you. I'm pretty sure everyone here knows exactly who you are now. So, no, I don't think you'll be expanding your alliance with Oregon and I."

And just like that, Washington hustled out the room, leaving Oregon to stand there awkwardly until he soon left, too. For the longest time, North Dakota simply stood there, staring blankly ahead with a darkening expression. And then... South Dakota spoke. "Um... sis?" South asked, nervously approaching her sister. "I... don't want to be in your alliance anymore. I mean - we're sisters, but... but I just kind of... want to not align myself with you. We can still be friends, and - and I still support you! I really do! I want you to win."

North Dakota was still just standing there, slowly taking in everything South Dakota was saying after Washington had stormed out. Slowly, deliberately, she began to speak.

"Get the fuck out, South. I am not in the mood for this."

South Dakota gazed at her sister with a halting, concerned stare, and promptly left.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_185_mp3**

"I don't want to disappoint my sister at all. She's family. Buuut... that doesn't change what she did. She voted off California and Oklahoma like they were nothing! And - and I know she wouldn't do that to me, but - it's wrong! I just... I don't want to support her if she's just going to keep acting like this. She promised to me and California a week or two ago that she'd get her act together. I always remember promises."

South Dakota

**11:25 AM.**

_And the weather's so breezy... man, why can't life always be this easy? She in the mirror dancin' so sleazy... I get a call, like, where are you, Yeezy?_

The sprawling city of Los Angeles spread far into the distance; a myriad of affluency and capitalism. The city of ghettos and mansions; of drug lords and millionaires; of degradation and production. The commerce capital of the world soared into the sky, its golden towers dotting along a bright blue skyline. Huge volumes of bright puffy white clouds accumulated above, spreading the word that summer was never really over in LA.

_Feelin' like Katrina with no FEMA... like Martin with no Gina... like a flight with no visa... first class with the seat back? I still see ya!_

Ten teenagers - no, ten young adults trekked through the city of LA, admiring both the view and the sunshine of a season long-gone. The general atmosphere was that of vacation: a break from the rigors of so many weeks of boredom and pain. That still doesn't change the fact that it was a challenge day, however.

"Oh my gawsh, this is my city..." Oregon breathed, holding Washington's hand tightly as the two walked along the sidewalks. "Forget San Francisco. Washington, oh - we should get an apartment, like - downtown, and - and I could do yoga like every day... oh, look, they've got another jewelry store right over there."

"We're only teenagers, y'know," Washington reminded, but still seemed vaguely amused by Oregon as usual. The ten kids, after the bus had parked, were tasked with walking up to Hollywood for the challenge. They attracted a lot of attention as they went on, naturally. "Yeah, well... still," Oregon protested, thinking up more reasons. "We can still hope, I guess... y'know, for when we get older..."

Texas stared at the couple with an increasing contempt, but there was no time to say anything, for Chris suddenly exclaimed, "Alright! We're almost here, kids. Lemme explain how today's challenge is gonna go."

The group of contestants stopped, and faced Chris, who seemed excited to have finally gotten to the finalists. "There are no teams!" he reiterated. "Lemme just say that again. It's every man for himself. Now... today's challenge is an ode to Hollywood: the birth of the cinema! Each contestant will be tasked with making a short film, all on their own. It can be on any topic! Afterwards, we'll all get together for a film festival, in which I'll decide which film wins."

Massachusetts raised a hand, and asked, "What does the person who wins get? Are, um... are we going to still be having voting?"

"Oh, right," Chris muttered, thinking. "Hm. The winner gets immunity from voting! Everyone will go to the voting ceremony, but the person who wins can't be voted for. They do, however, get a vote of their own, though. Is that clear?"

Nods were directed his way. "Good!" Chris said with a brilliant smile. He then pointed to a number of crates, all open and containing a large volume of electrical equipment. "Your camera stuff is in there!" Chris yelled, holding up a broken camera for them all to see. "This is all stuff the interns have tossed away over the last four and a half months. So... some of it might be working, and some of it might not! It's a learning experience of discovery! Yeah... yeah, that sounds good..."

The contestants exchanged glances. This didn't particularly seem like it would be very easy.

**11:41 AM.**

Within minutes of the challenge's start, the alliances were formed up again; the first thing that anybody did was Washington, getting Hawaii, Massachusetts, and Oregon together. Moments later, New York gravitated to Texas, and Arizona and Virginia soon conglomerated to discuss ideas for each of their films. Despite the fact that it was now officially "every man for himself", it soon became clear that the alliances weren't going away very soon.

South Dakota, after holding up a smashed video camera, frowned, and reconsidered her decision to distance herself from her sister. She'd never been on her own in the show before; and as far as she knew, she hadn't even received a single vote yet, ever. To be without North Dakota seemed unnatural, almost - after all, it was always North and South Dakota, side by side, rulers of the world.

Of course, not even that is an accurate title for the two, but South Dakota was determined to find people other than her sister to depend upon. So, when she approached Virginia and Arizona, she smiled politely, and asked, "So. What are you two going to plan? I haven't decided, myself."

The two blinked at South Dakota, and then glanced at each other. "Uhhh... we're kinda busy here, South..." murmured Virginia, giving South Dakota a wary stare. "Oh," South Dakota responded, seeming just slightly crestfallen. She hesitated, and walked away, wondering why she was turned away so suddenly.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_186_mp3**

"Listen... South Dakota's a nice girl. I don't mean to be rude or anything to her, and I'm sure she's sweet, but... if she's not prepared to stand up to her sister? I don't want her. Arizona might be softer about it, like she always is, but... South Dakota is dangerous goods. I don't wanna be caught up in whatever's gonna happen to her."

Virginia

**12:07 PM.**

The challenge was underway. The ten contestants all congealed into the center of a parking lot in downtown Hollywood, near some of the larger filming studios. In the distance, the city of Los Angeles arose, crystal clear against a bright blue sky. And on a short, stumpy little mountain not far from the city, a huge sign brilliantly spelled out "HOLLYWOOD", its words an ode to the history of this city.

"I'm gonna do a zombie movie, y'all..." Texas muttered, digging through a box of props to find anything that might resemble a toy gun. "York, I need you to be the zombie, alright? An' - an' I need some more actors - oh, this is gonna be so cool. Hey, you think Chris has got any fake blood or somethin'?"

New York shrugged, setting up his camera. "You know, we don't actually even have to do the challenge," he mentioned casually. "Only one of us is going to win. If I thought I wouldn't win, then I could just not participate and everything would be the same. Heck, it's statistically likely we won't win the challenge, so... it's not even worth trying. Only one person gets immunity."

Texas glared harshly at New York, and quickly said, "York, that is one of the most pessimistic things I ever heard. You'd better try to win this challenge. If you win, you'll be one hundred percent safe. Here - can you let me paint some of this red stuff on your chin?"

Just then, North Dakota approached, surveying the two boys' work so far. "Nice job!" she exclaimed, nodding in apparent satisfaction. "I can tell two handsome boys like you will get far. I'm North Dakota, by the way. The two of you are...?"

Of course, North Dakota knew the answer to the question she asked, but making conversation was very important all the same. "I'm Tex!" Texas exclaimed, and then pointed at New York, stating, "An' he's New York. We're kinda allied."

"So I see!" North Dakota said, smiling to get on their good side. "Well, I hope you don't mind if I join you. I know how hard it is to be in an alliance with only two people." This was also untrue. North Dakota had never actually been in a true alliance with just her and one other contestant. New York glanced at Texas, and realized that the two of them had to have been thinking the same thing. "Well..." New York began slowly, "...you... can join us, if you want."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude!" cried North Dakota, though it was quite clear she was very keen on doing so. "I was just looking for potential friends to assist me. I'm a very important person, as you may know, so any friends that I get would be very handsomely... rewarded for their allegiance."

New York could hardly believe his ears; here was a brilliant, beautiful, and powerful girl who wanted to be allied with him. He didn't even have to ask her! This... could mean his survival. "Uh - yeah, sure!" New York exclaimed, nodding fervently. "Yeah, we're - we're good for that! We are all about the allegiance and - and loyalty, and everything. If, um... if you'd be willing to do the same for us."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_187_mp3**

"I'm no idiot. New York is a very smart player, believe it or not. He would have gone far in this show, had he not been so focused on - on whatever happened in Team Democracy. And he still might go far. But I'm prepared to stop that from happening. Texas, too - Texas is just a bumbling idiot in a position of great power. He needs to go, but for now... these boys could make some very nice potential alliance members."

North Dakota

**12:15 PM.**

"So. About that Washington, huh?" North Dakota suddenly said to the two boys, eagerly awaiting their response. "What a loser, am I right? Have the two of you had any problems with him back in Team Freedom...?"

"Actually, uh... yeah," New York said, blinking at her persistence. "He's kind of, um... been on the alliance opposite to ours. He's running his own private army or something, and claims to be a 'force of good', or whatever. Why...?"

"I think we can take him down."

North Dakota's words sunk into the sun-soaked air. "Uh - what?" Texas stammered, confused. "Hold on - we kind of can't. He's in an alliance of four... maybe we oughta get Hawaii first. I'm not even sure how he got this far, that little sucker was supposed to be knocked out before the merge took place."

"If we work together, then yes, Washington can be taken down," North Dakota muttered determinedly. "It won't be easy, but... we can make it happen. Eventually, of course. Maybe not by tonight, but within the next few weeks. What do you say... friends?"

She wore a rather devilish grin, quite satisfied with how things were playing out for her. "Well, alright!" New York agreed, smiling at this new ally. "You're on our side, North Dakota."

**12:34 PM.**

Washington peered into a pair of camera lenses, examining the set ahead. "Okay, I think we're good!" he exclaimed, giving Hawaii a thumbs up. "You just need to make sure this doesn't fall over, and it won't break again. And if you give this a filter afterwards, the weird brightness ought to go away."

"Thanks, bro!" Hawaii said with a smile, wearing a Frankenstein costume. "This is gonna be so rad. You filmin' yet?"

"No. Tell me when."

"Now!"

A button was pressed by Washington, and the recording began. Immediately, Hawaii thrust his arms forward like a zombie, and moaned loudly. "I am The Frankenstein!" he groaned, waving his arms and staggering forward. "Here me groooan! Where is my masterrr?"

"Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster!" Washington reminded Hawaii, but it was too late; precious film was being spent. Massachusetts jumped in front of the camera, and cried, "Ohhh, no! Do not eat me! Help! Someone! Anyone!"

"Frankenstein doesn't eat people..." Washington murmured to himself, holding the camera steady, but Hawaii fake-knocked Massachusetts to the ground and bent over his jugular vein, making horrid noises that sounded similar to a man eating out of a watermelon. Hawaii then ripped his stare up to glare at the camera, and growled, "I'm going to eat you, Washington!"

"Oh, no..." sarcastically muttered Washington, who backed away, holding the video camera as he did so. "Oregon, are you getting this film genius over here? Man, Hawaii, you're going to win all of the Oscars. Welcome to the list of people that Leonardo Di Caprio is jealous of."

Hawaii sighed, and said, "Cut the footage, bro. I wasn' feelin' that shot. Can we do it again? Except this time - except this time I'm gonna twist Massachusetts's neck, and then - oh, I could be called the Neck Twister! Join me, brothers!"

Massachusetts laughed, and promptly said, "Guys, I gotta work on my own film. Lemme know if you need me as an extra or whatever."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_188_mp3**

"Hah. I think choosin' Team Science was a good decision. Both New York and Texas are done, you guys. Once we take them out, we can get North Dakota off, 'cause Washington says she's the bad guy. Washington is my ticket to winning! Man I am in the finalists, bros. To all the cats out there cheerin' me on, you rock!"

Hawaii

**1:03 PM**

Almost two hours had passed when the challenge was finally over with. Though Chris hadn't set an official time limit for the challenge, he eventually just decided to call it quits by 1 PM, just so there'd be time to do the film festival. Besides, most people were already done with filming at this point, so there's really little reason to continue.

"Give your rolls of film to the interns!" Chris instructed. "They'll edit it. Don't worry, I'm sure they won't mess anything up, trust me. I have been very picky in my interns ever since some of them lost some very important files back in Baltimore a while back.

A few contestants seemed a little confused as to what he was talking about; that was back in September. Regardless, they all followed Chris into an auditorium, where the films were presumed to be shown. "Everyone sit tight," Chris instructed, pointing at the front row of the auditorium. "Take your seats, it'll be a while before the interns are done editing."

"I spent a lot of work on mine..." Arizona murmured to Virginia, sitting down in the very first row with the other contestants. "I want to win the immunity." Virginia casted a sideways glance at her friend, and advised, "Immunity's not all it's cracked up to be. Some people might get jealous and try to kick you off later in the game if you keep gettin' it."

This news seemed to surprise Arizona somewhat, and she kept quiet, leaning back in the comforting theater chair. "Okay!" Chris exclaimed over the intercom; he was up in the projector room with the interns. "I think we've got Texas's film ready now! It's pretty short, so this should go by really quickly."

The lights in the huge auditorium dimmed, and a curtain parted, revealing a big white empty screen. Overhead, a projector flickered on, shining onto the screen - a few seconds, and then-

_The Greatest Zombie Movie of all Time! Written, Directed, and Performed by Texas._

The display switched to an image of Texas, standing heroically in front of a green screen-produced explosion, and holding a gun. Texas, in the front row, began cheering. "_I am Rick Rhymes!_" the Texas on screen screamed, looking patriotically into the distance. "_Former rapper, now survivor of a zombie apocalypse!_"

A montage of Texas shooting things began, with special effect Public Domain gun noises. Most of the time, he was shooting zombies, all of whom were New York dressed up in bloody garments and waving his arms around. Six explosions later, and the Texas on screen met up with a survivor, also played by New York.

"_Who are you!_" Texas boldly proclaimed, staring directly into the camera, though he was supposed to be talking to New York at that time. "_My name is Hugh York!_" New York replied, equally stoic-faced. It was growing evident that neither of them knew how to act. "_And I am a survivor as well! We must go to the coast, in order to survive!_"

The camera slowly zoomed into Texas's face, who remained frozen, eye twitching just slightly. "_But what about... my son?_" Texas asked dramatically, and then the screen cut, popping up with the large words TO BE CONTINUED.

Instantly, Texas jumped up, and started clapping wildly, as did New York. Even North Dakota started clapping, though with a vaguely repulsed expression. "Wow!" Chris yelled over the intercom. "That was, uh... well, for a movie with literally no budget whatsoever, that wasn't bad. But I wanna see more. Massachusetts! Let's see your movie next."

**1:52 PM.**

Eight movies later. Most contestants hadn't done much at all; New York, in fact, hadn't done anything after he reasoned that it was unlikely that he'd win anyway. North Dakota filmed an intricate war scenario, complete with battles and miniatures, Virginia made a creative film about a girl faced with the dangers of Hollywood, and Oregon had constructed an elaborate love story, for which he casted Massachusetts and Washington, both of whom seemed totally okay with it. In the end, there was only one more contestant left.

"Arizona!" the Chris on the intercom called. "You're the last one up. Come on and wow us all. So far, though, I'm gonna have to give this victory to either Oregon or Virginia."

At the sound of that, Texas made a loud huff, slumping deeper into his chair. The projector over head shut off briefly, and quickly shone once again; this time, with Arizona's film.

_The Host with the Most. Written by Arizona._

A small paper figure appeared on screen, bearing a striking resemblance to Chris. A low voice, sounding like it was from Virginia, spoke, "_Hi there! I'm Chris McLean!_"

"Oh, no, she had better not be exploiting Chris's self-indulgence..." North Dakota murmured, and looked up towards the projection room. True to her expectations, Chris had on a huge smile at the sight of himself on screen, even if he was represented as a paper doll.

"_I host The Fifty State Roadtrip! It's a lot of hard work, so I decided that I should have a documentary about me, Chris McLean! You see, I have to work long hours for months on end, and deal with dumb-as-bricks interns. Like this one!_"

A paper intern, held up on a popsicle stick, suddenly popped up. "_This is Intern Geromy!_" the effigy of Chris explained, bouncing up and doing rapidly. "_He messed up this morning by - by leaving our show's files back in, uh... in Toronto! Say goodbye, Intern Geromy!_"

The paper Chris pushed Intern Geromy down. From above, Chris laughed loudly at the spectacle, and cheered. Just then, a new character appeared on screen - a rather dramatically exaggerated representation of what appeared to be Blaineley, wearing a ripped red dress and a big Sharpie frown. "_Move over, Chris!_" the paper Blaineley screeched, voiced by Arizona herself. "_This is my show now!_"

"_Whoa! Plot stuff from like two acts ago?_" the Chris shouted, and quickly tackled Blaineley. "_This is my show! You do not know how hard it is to make ten million dollars a year, like me, and to - to go to yoga classes in San Francisco, and to talk about suffering! It's HARD WORK, Blaineley. You DON'T UNDERSTAND._"

By the time the tiny paper Chris was finished, all that remained of Blaineley's effigy was a crumpled ball of red and white paper. The paper Chris popped back up again, held up by a popsicle stick, like all the others. "_Thanks for watching the true story about the life of Chris McLean!_" it yelled. "_If you wanna see more of me, watch The Fifty State Roadtrip on weekends and Wednesdays!_"

The clip cut off right there. A brief silence followed, proceeded by Chris loudly clapping from his position in the projector room. "I think we have a winner!" he cried. "Arizona! You get immunity today! That was one of - the MOST accurate portrayals of my life. Like, wow, I seriously can't get over all of that. Man. Well, back to the buses, everyone. Er - not buses as in plural anymore. Just one bus. Let's go!"

**3:13 PM.**

The buses were well underway by this point, heading to a secluded spot in the hills surrounding Los Angeles for the voting ceremony. This time, everyone would be going to vote, instead of just half. In an empty room on the bus, the members of the Team Science alliance all met to discuss possible voting options.

"Our most obvious pick is North Dakota," Washington claimed, looking seriously at his three friends. "She's going to be a huge problem from now on if she doesn't go soon. But... she's an antagonist - a big one - so Chris isn't going to want to let her go just like that. So... maybe we should focus on either Texas or New York. They have no protection."

"Definitely New York," Massachusetts instantly said without hesitation. "He needs to go. I can't have him still in the game." Washington nodded, addressing Massachusetts's concerns, but said, "Yes, New York is a problem, but... I was thinking Texas would be a good way to isolate New York. And besides, Texas is the entire reason we formed this alliance. All because of his backwards views on whether or not guys should be able to date. He's bigoted, and - and he insulted Oregon and I. We vote for Texas."

That seemed agreed upon, though Massachusetts shrugged, and said, "Well, if you guys don't mind... I'm going to have to vote for New York regardless. The two of us, um... we've had history, and I'd prefer it if he'd be off the show as quickly as possible. I'm not trying to go against our alliance or anything - this is just something that I want to do."

"New York won't be voted off if it's just you," Washington casually reminded Massachusetts, but continued, "but that's okay, I guess. We do kind of need your vote, though..."

"We're the biggest alliance on the show!" Hawaii triumphantly declared. "I think we're safe. Hell - we might just be able to control every votin' ceremony from here on out. We all get to the final four, and then the victor splits the money into four parts for the each of us!"

That sounded like a terrific idea, and for the last time, Team Science reveled in its success.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_189_mp3**

"Well... it looks like I might have just won the show. I'm a finalist. I command an alliance of four. I can always bring in new people, if need be. We're about to take down our worst enemies. Everything's over, really. I won. Which is funny - I was planning to win from the very start, but only now have I decided I've got better things to do. And even now... I'm still winning. In a kingdom of clenched fists, the diplomat wins."

Washington

**5:51 PM.**

"South. You're going to vote with me again."

North Dakota faced her sister in her bunk room, which was devoid of any other contestants. South Dakota was backed up against a wall, looking positively terrified of her sister. "But - I told you, sis - we're not allied!" South Dakota protested, though that only served to increase North Dakota's anger. "Earlier on today, Washington disrespected me," North growled, growing closer to her sister. "You watched him. Unless you want to be on his side, and that you want your own sister to be disrespected like that, then you're going to vote for Washington."

"This isn't right!" South Dakota cried, horrified at what her sister had become. "You're not thinking straight, sis! Please-"

"If you aren't prepared to play dirty, then why are you even competing?" North Dakota asked, disgusted. "He's had it coming. Him and that - that campy faggot boyfriend of his. He's the real-world representation of a Gary Stu, and if we don't do something... then he's going to win. Vote with us, South. You're on my side."

South Dakota stood in silence for a moment longer, tears streaming down her face. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what she wanted at all. But before she could protest, or even utter a single word in defiance of her sister, North Dakota had vanished.

**7:00 PM.**

"Welcome... to what I predict will be the most dramatic voting ceremony on this show yet!"

Chris faced an audience of ten, soon to become nine. Chef stood by the bus with a garish expression, eager to get this over with as soon as possible. And each of the ten contestants were terrified out of their wits about the possibility of being voted off - they were in the finals, sure, but how long would each of them last? And who would be the ultimate victor?

Not the person going home that night.

"I've got real candy today!" Chris continued, holding up a plastic grocery bag for them all to see. "How cool is that? I am telling you, we are flying first class now. That's an expression, by the way - until Hawaii gets voted off, then we're not going on a plane."

Just then, everyone stared accusingly at Hawaii, who glared defensively back at them all and shrugged. "Here's how this will work!" Chris excitedly exclaimed, waving his clipboard around as though that would help the contestants to understand what was going on. "You've all voted already. The contestant that won immunity - in this case, Arizona - can not be voted for. If you voted for her, then your vote is forfeit. But nobody did today, because of obvious reasons."

He cleared his throat, and looked once more at the list of names. "Arizona!" Chris began, tossing her a bar of chocolate. "You're safe. No votes. Also safe are... Massachusetts, Oregon, South Dakota... no surprise there... and... Virginia! No votes for the lot of you!"

A large volume of candy was thrown, given to the contestants in question. This just left North Dakota, Washington, New York, Hawaii, and Texas. "The five of you got at least one vote!" Chris said, grin beginning to form. "Today was very interesting, let me tell you. The next contestant that's safe is..."

...

"Hawaii. You're safe, bro. Just one vote."

He recieved a packet of gum for his troubles, leaving the four remaining contestants. Chris stared seriously at them all, and then shouted, "North Dakota! You're safe, of course. Wouldn't make sense for the antagonist to get kicked off like this. So, uh... you just got one vote. Candy for you."

It didn't even seem like North Dakota had a problem with being referred to as an antagonist, and she shrugged off the comment like it was nothing. The three guys, however, were less happy about being left over. New York, Texas, and Washington. "The penultimate piece of candy is for..." Chris began, holding up a bag of Sour Patch Kids tauntingly above their heads.

...

...

...

"...New York. You got one vote from a special someone. Here you go!"

New York received his candy right on time, surprising nobody. Chris smirked, and faced Washington and Texas. "The two of you have been right at each others' necks the last few weeks!" he said with an amused smile. "So... this is the final show down. One of you got three votes. The other got four. If anybody had done anything differently, then the result would be much different."

Chris faced Washington, who was growing more nervous by the minute, and said, "Washington, you've had a huge legacy on the show so far. Rising up to lead Team Victory was one of your earliest accomplishments - under your rule, the team literally didn't lose a single challenge during Act 2. Later on, you got together with Oregon! Boy, we got a lot of, uh... 'fan mail'. With a lot of f-bombs directed at the show. Thanks for that, by the way."

Chris's attention was then diverted to Texas, as he said, "And Texas! You are the last surviving member of Team Touchdown. Everyone you started out with is gone - your best friend, your friends, that one other guy from Team Touchdown who nobody remembers - everyone. Your views have earned you a lot of enemies, Texas, and either you or Washington is going to be paying the price for it. But... the final snack tonight goes to..."

The contestants all waited with baited breath for the result; this would largely determine the rest of the entire game. For instance, Washington hardly expected to be up in the final two during the voting ceremony, but neither did Texas. A moment longer of strenuous silence, and then...

...

...

...

...

...

"TEXAS!"

Washington sat, gaping at Chris. A leaf rustled past him, as North Dakota smiled at her own accomplishment, having taken out her biggest rival yet. And... so early into the Act, too. This wasn't supposed to happen, Washington rapidly deduced. No. This can't be. It seriously can't - no! I was supposed to have more time! Oh, my god-

"No!" Oregon cried, jumping up and pulling Washington into a hug. "Holy fuck, no! Chris! Tell me you're kidding! Tell me! Please - don't make him go!"

Chris tossed his clipboard haphazardly into the air, and said, "Sorry, dude! The votes never lie. This is how it has to be. Personally, I'm interested in-"

"Oh, no..." Washington murmured, the first thing he'd spoken since the news. "No, no, no - Oregon. You have to listen to me very carefully, now. Alright?"

Oregon nodded, sniffing, tears forming into his eyes. "You have to win the game," Washington murmured, facing Oregon and holding him as tightly as possible. "You have to. For us. Oregon - be careful of who you trust. Remember who your friends are. Make sure to take out your enemies without hesitation. Do whatever it takes, Oregon."_  
><em>

The two embraced tighter as everyone stared. "You can do it, dude," Washington reassured his boyfriend. "I believe in you. I always have. Remember everything I taught you. Alright? You have to do it. God... I'm going to miss you."

Chris intervened trying to pull the two apart. "Come on, now, it's time to go!" Chris yelled, but Oregon resisted, and pulled Washington in for one last kiss. "Gawd, this is so gay..." Oregon muttered, giggling at the absurdity of the entire situation. Washington merely nodded. "Be the good guy," Washington reminded as a final ultimatum. "You can do it. You've always been strong. I've seen that in you since the start."

Washington was forced to walk away at that point, towards the taxi in the distance. "I'll see you again!" Washington cried, waving. "Bye, Massachusetts, and... and Hawaii, and Arizona! I'll miss you guys!"

Oregon stared in a desolate, hollow gaze at where Washington had gone. A few moments later, and the slam of a taxi door was heard, echoing into the night. "Oh, my gawd, he's really gone, isn't he?" Oregon asked in a tiny voice, realizing that he was on his own now. "He... _who voted him off?_"

Silence.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_190_mp3**

"Okay. That was the _last_ time I help my sister vote someone off. The way Washington was just... oh, god, that was terrible. And now Oregon's all on his own... poor guy. I feel really, really, _really_ bad about this. And... it's my fault. I could have voted for Texas. But... ugh! Why does my sister force me to pick a side between family and morality? I _love_ my sister - usually - and that will never change, but... dammit. I'm really disliking this. I was _hoping_ that she'd respect my decision to stay neutral..."

South Dakota

**8:04 PM.**

The buses were underway again, driving north to Washington. A blank, cloudy sky dominated their world, utterly devoid of color and expression. Soon, they would drive through San Francisco; then the state of Oregon, and finally Washington. There remained nine contestants. This was only going to get harder.

Oregon laid on his bed. The bunk above him was now empty; the only empty bunk in the entire bus so far. For the rest of the season, he would be forced to sleep with the girls North and South Dakota. To him, they were just distractions against a much bigger picture.

_Who voted for him?_ Oregon kept wondering to himself, wanting to know who had caused that to happen. If it hadn't happened... then Washington would still be in the game. So it was only logical to go for whoever wanted Washington to go home.

And there was one contestant willing to give him that information.

North Dakota.

She sat on her own bed, staring at Oregon with a sort of hushed eagerness, like a hawk about to dive into its prey; that sort of animalistic hunger that accompanies the pure, raw brunt of competition. After a few moments, she spoke. "Oregon," she simply said, and he tiredly turned his head to glance at her.

"I know who voted for Washington."

Oregon's ears perked up a little. "You... do?" he asked, awed. "But - I thought he didn't like you. He said-"

"We were distant friends," North Dakota claimed, brushing away Oregon's allegation like it was nothing. "The important thing is that I _supported_ Washington. And I can tell you exactly who _didn't_. Four people voted for Washington. Texas... New York... Arizona... and Virginia. The four of them voted for _him_."

Oregon gaped at North Dakota. "No way..." he breathed, breaking down a little inside. "Not - _not Arizona?_ No. I refuse to believe that. She's _so nice!_ She supported me when I came out, and she supported Washington the whole way through-"

North Dakota interrupted Oregon once more, stating, "It was all a facade. She's part of the enemy. Oregon... you want to get the people who voted off your boyfriend, right? I mean, don't you? They _double crossed you_. Especially Virginia and Arizona. With my help, Oregon... the two of us could go far. I can help you."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_191_mp3**

"This is perfect. Washington's out of the game, and his old boyfriend is too messed up in the head now to think properly. I could use him to take out New York and Texas, who I can't possibly trust enough right now. I get more alliance members after that, and... the tables have turned. The cards are in my favor. All I need to do is make sure I'm not seen as the stereotypical bad guy here. And then I'll win! I bet I won't even _need_ my sister."

North Dakota

**8:06 PM.**

Oregon considered her proposition very seriously; the emotional trauma he'd gone through was making it a little harder to think, and he knew that. So, naturally, he wanted to compensate against any possible biases he had - but _New York_ and _Texas_...

They had to pay.

A small nod from Oregon was all North Dakota needed. And so, the fourth Act began.

****ELIMINATED: ****Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, and Washington.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** StayOuttaMyShed, Guest, ElizabethLifeStone, and Anna Blake!

**aspiringAnimator** - This chapter sets the stage for the entirety of Act 4. Washington's elimination _this early_ into the Act is going to have some repercussions that I've planned out for a while now. This is the finals, everybody! Pull up your Hype Pants and get ready for the craziness that will ensue. It will be nuts! I'm excited.

OH! We're having a Thanksgiving special! I was supposed to say this last week, but I forgot. Instead of the Wednesday update, we will have it on a Thursday, the day of Thanksgiving! The weekend update will stay the same, of course.

I'm in South Carolina, on a trip to look at colleges! So... I won't be able to get MUCH work done, or have good internet connection speed, but I should be able to make the Thanksgiving update. And no, it won't be like the Halloween update, where everything was on a stage with an audience. This will be different, and just like a regular update. Thanks for reading this far, by the way! If you have any suggestions, critiques, concerns, comments, reviews - let me know. _Everything_ helps, and you need not an account to leave a review!


	43. Thanksgiving

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - **(**Arizona and Virginia**)**, **(**Hawaii and Massachusetts**)**, **(**New York, North Dakota, Oregon, and Texas**)**, and South Dakota.

**EPISODE 42: THANKSGIVING**

_"This is what it feels like to be at the top." - North Dakota_

**Thursday, November 27th, 2014. Seattle, Washington. 9:38 AM.**

Dawn upon America.

A great illuminate disc inched its way up a mountainous horizon, bringing its brilliance to an entire country. No matter the disaster that befell the nation; protests, disease, political strife - there would always be that great sun, to rise for another day. That celestial ball of rapidly fusing helium, unceasing in its donation of life to planets unworthy, served as a beacon of hope for all.

The lone bus of The Fifty State Roadtrip chugged northwards, into that far-reaching northwestern corner of the nation: a land of spruce, sea, and snow. The holiday season had finally arrived, and with it, a healthy serving of icy, chunky sleet, innumerable in its quantity.

"Hey! It's snowin'!" Hawaii exclaimed, peeking out the window. Massachusetts gave him a glance, and muttered, "No, that's sleet. Again. It's probably not going to snow around here for at least a few more weeks."

This didn't seem to matter to Hawaii, who mumbled to himself, "Snow, sleet - what's the difference? It's still cool... see, I never got any of this stuff back home. You guys don't know how lucky you have it."

Oregon was lying on Hawaii's bed, staring up, unmoving. "I never liked snow..." he mumbled, still maintaining that stoic expression. "There was always way too much of it." Massachusetts noticed Oregon's withdrawal, and patted him on the back. "It's okay, Oregon," Massachusetts quietly said, seeming a bit sad himself. "If anything, Washington's home now. And our alliance will keep on."

Nobody seemed particularly sure of that. Washington had been the unifying force of the alliance; with him gone, Oregon had little incentive to stay, pulling it down to two. Hawaii glanced around guiltily, wondering if they were all thinking the same thing. "Yo... I'm gonna go," he mumbled, standing up. "I gotta, uh... eat... something. Yeah."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_192_mp3**

"I don't wanna sound like a downer, buuut... Washington's kinda gone. That was the whole reason I was doin' the alliance, 'cause Washington was gonna take me to the top three at the least. And now he's gone. So... I don't really know what I'm doin' anymore. Team Science is kinda dead."

Hawaii

**10:03 AM.**

The main room of the bus was no less stressful than the others. Nine contestants remained, and almost all of them would be off the show within a month. Contestants that had spent the last five months of their life packed into a couple of buses would soon find themselves getting booted from the show with little explanation. At home, fans were gearing up for the finale of the show, anticipated since the beginning. Antagonists would face off against adversaries, friendships would be broken, and prizes won.

Chef still drove the bus. When he first started out, he acted quite cheery, and eager to see the American outdoors from all over the country. He even tried to do a Christmas sing-a-long, despite the fact that it was still Thanksgiving. When nobody sang with him to a rousing chorus of "Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer", he became a lot more forceful, and claimed he would throw the first person who didn't comply off the bus.

On the TV, the Thanksgiving day parade roared on; inflatable pop culture float after float bounced above the streets of New York City. New York himself had claimed he'd seen the parade enough times to not want to see it again, as he had sealed himself in his room for the day. North Dakota and her sister sat on the couch watching the parade, as they did every year.

This year was a little different, though. When it became clear that her sister wasn't in the most talkative mood, South Dakota excused herself, and wandered around the bus to find others. She eventually arrived at one of the other bunk rooms, and tentatively entered.

Inside, New York was sitting on his bed, reading a book. Across from him, Arizona and Virginia sat on one bed, flipping through a Christmas catalogue. Arizona looked up, and gave a friendly wave to South Dakota, while Virginia just glanced up briefly.

"Hey... uh..." South Dakota began, evidently unsure of how to start the conversation. "Is it okay if I talk to you two...? About things?"

"Things, huh?" Virginia asked, raising an eyebrow. "What things?"

"Well..." South stuttered, stepping closer to the two. New York listened in, interested. "I just... wanted to say that I don't completely support my sister anymore. I don't think I have for a long time now. And... I just want to be friends with people other than her..." When Arizona's face grew elated, South Dakota took a step back, and disclaimed, "I mean - no, I don't want to join or alliance or anything! Not at all! I'm not saying that!"

"So... what are you saying...?" Virginia asked slowly. It didn't even seem like South Dakota knew. "I just... want to be on better terms?" South asked, seeming hopeful. "Like... I just get kind of lonely, and... since we're getting near the finals..."

"Well, I dunno what you're saying," Virginia muttered, "but right now's not the best time. We're kind of near the end of the game here. It's hard enough to communicate in the alliances as it is, what with Chris givin' us just two seconds to figure out who we're votin' for. And we're really only interested in people who are gonna go one hundred percent against North Dakota."

"North Dakota's not so bad, y'know," New York pointed out defensively, but both Arizona and Virginia rolled their eyes at him.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_193_mp3**

"See, I don't understand Virginia's attitude towards South. I'd be happy to have her in the alliance, provided that she's not some kind of spy for her sister. And... if South is really opposing her own sister? This is big, if it's true. Though it doesn't really even seem like South Dakota wants to be the hero in this situation. I can tell, though."

Arizona

**10:56 AM.**

Seattle: the city of coffee, rain, and hipsters; of music, technology, and business; and of suburbs, bikes, and civil liberty. A city of modern times, settled in the mid nineteenth century during the great emigration to the west. It is one of the major ports on the west coast, rivaling Portland, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Vancouver - it's certainly up there. So, when contestants learned that Washington was going home, it was natural to assume they'd all be heading to another big city as a result.

When skyscrapers partially enshrouded by falling sleet became visible, the nine contestants prepared for the next challenge, armed only with the knowledge that these tasks would only continue to grow more difficult.

The show's only bus eventually stopped in a large parking lot in downtown Seattle, presented like an actor on a grand stage, faced with an audience of millions. Chris walked up, rapped sharply on the bus's doors, and yelled, "Come on out, kids! We've got a challenge to do. Up and at 'em."

Nine teenagers stepped out nervously, curious as to what the challenge would be. "Hi, kids!" Chris greeted with his famous, trademarked and beautiful smile. "Happy Thanksgiving! Later today, we're going to have a biiig meal, but we've got a challenge to get out of the way first. So! Let's get started."

A couple interns wheeled a large display up, which depicted a map of Massachusetts. "Little history lesson first!" Chris explained, smiling at the kids' groans. "Though Thanksgiving today has absolutely nothing to do with what went down all those years ago on the early seventeenth century, it did exist back then! When the first batch of Puritans arrived in Plymouth, Massachusetts, it turned out that they were really, really bad at surviving. So, the friendly natives came along and showed them how to grow corn! And everyone was happy for the rest of eternity."

Chris then frowned. "Of course, the Puritans did eventually backstab the Native Americans and took their land," he added, killing the mood. "And later legislation pushed the remaining natives into reservations in the west. But nevermind all that! The point is, this is a holiday about being thankful."

He spread his arms wide for the kids, claiming, "Today's challenge will have you all writing a speech about what you're thankful for! You'll then deliver that speech in front of three special judges, who I'm absolutely sure you'll never be able to guess. The winner gets immunity, and the loser goes home! Does that sound like fun?"

Somewhat begrudging nods followed his query. It seemed that most contestants were more interested in the lightly falling sleet than the challenge; the ground was so cold that the ice was piling up on the ground like snow. "Great..." Chris muttered nodding vaguely. "Get to work on your speeches. We begin at noon with the delivering process."

**11:21 AM.**

The contestants were soon ushered inside an auditorium, once it became clear that the sleet wasn't letting up anytime soon. Backstage, each contestant work hard on his or her speech; this most certainly wasn't an alliance-friendly challenge, as everyone had to make their own. Some needed more help than others.

"Hey, North!" New York called, running up to the girl, who turned to face him with a rather bored expression. "What do you think of this opening line? 'Millions of Americans take what they have for granted', et cetera, et cetera." In response, North Dakota shrugged exasperatedly, and explained, "I'm helping Oregon, York. Go away."

New York took a step back, and muttered, "Oh... okay. I just thought... that since I helped you take out Washington, you would help me with this." On hearing that, North Dakota whipped her head around, and snapped, "What was that? Uh, I'm sorry, but I think you need my help, not me. Back-talking doesn't help shit, New York. Unless, of course, you want to go home tonight."

"No!" New York yelped in fear. "I - heh - no, definitely not, um... North. It's just... uh..."

When it became clear that New York didn't have anything else to add, North Dakota rolled her eyes, and focused her attention back on Oregon. Instantaneously, New York grew suspicious.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_194_mp3**

"Alright, what's North's deal? I helped her take out Washington. We're in an alliance together. She needs to help me now. And why is she even working with Oregon now? He's with the other guys, unless she wants to recruit him or something. Something's not right here... I'm getting that bad feeling again."

New York

**11:34 AM.**

"My plan..." Virginia muttered slowly, writing frantically on a sheet of scrap paper, "...is to write a sincere, heartfelt speech. Chris says we're getting three judges, and I think something honest could woo Blaineley to be in my favor. And people like honesty. Right?"

Arizona shrugged, working on her own. "I'm doing a thing about New Mexico," she revealed casually. "Like, how I'm thankful I got to be with him for a few months and all that. You heard how much he's cheering for me in the Aftermath!"

Virginia giggled, and said, "Y'know, you're real lucky to have a boyfriend like that. The only guy that liked me on this show was - eugh - West Virginia... and girl, that was ages ago..."

"I don't really know who that is," Arizona honestly replied. "And Virginia, I'm sure there's a guy on here who likes you. Like... like Texas. Have you ever thought about him?" To that, Virginia made a face, considering it.

"Back in Team America... I kinda liked Ohio," Virginia revealed quietly, blushing. "Until he went nuts and got on his hate-love for Michigan and all that. Wow... my team was really crazy. Maybe even crazier than this new one."

"Ohio sounds like a nice guy," Arizona said, smiling, though she had no idea who that was. "You would've liked Idaho, I think, for the little time he was on our team. This is kind of making me miss all of my old teammates. And - jeez - especially California. I really, really hate myself for that."

VIrginia stood still for a few moments, and mumbled, "Don't worry about it, honey. California was bein' used bey North Dakota. And... maybe voting for her like that wasn't the best idea, but you didn't know that she suddenly opposed her! It's not your fault."

"I know..." Arizona quietly said, and the topic was dropped.

**11:59 AM.**

"Alright, let's go ahead and end this," Chris announced, waving his arms and getting the kids' attention. "It's been an hour now, and the third judge is here. Contestants, meet... Blaineley!"

It was no surprise at all that Blaineley was here for the holiday challenge. "Hello, kids," she muttered with a bored tone, applying mascara to her eyes and not even looking at the contestants. Not a single person seemed happy to see her, though it was a relief to finally know the third judge. "And, of course, the second judge is Chef," Chris added. "So. Has everyone finished their speeches? I wanna start this up."

"More or less," Massachusetts answered, being one of the rare few to ever answer Chris's hypothetical questions. "Awesome!" Chris yelled, grinning. "Let's have Hawaii go first. Other contestants, you sit backstage until we call you. Alright? The only people in the audience are gonna be me, Chef, and Blaineley, so there's no need to worry."

Hawaii nervously stepped forward, wondering why he was always the first person to go, as the other contestants went back behind the curtains. "Uh... I didn't really prepare a speech," he explained, using unnecessary hand gestures. "I just figured I'd, um... 'wing' it. Heh. Airplane joke. Get it?"

His pun didn't get much reception from the judges. "Because I, uh... flew a plane once," Hawaii added, stuttering. "For a challenge."

...

"Okay," Hawaii said, clearly more nervous than usual. "Right. My speech, I decided, is gonna be about food. Like, okay, McDonalds. How come we can just walk in and buy a cheese burger for a dollar? I mean, think about it. That ain't a lot of money. Think about how hard it must'a been to get the cheese, and the beef, and the bread - all of it's worth just a dollar! And they make it in like two seconds!"

No response. Blaineley was filing her nails, whereas Chris seemed to be checking his Twitter account. "Well, my point is , I'm thankful for cheeseburgers," Hawaii concluded. "Er - no, that doesn't sound right - I'm thankful for the FACT that it takes not much time and, uh, effort to make cheeseburgers. Today. Um. This ain't a sponsorship for McDonalds, by the way-"

"Yeah, we know," Chris said sternly, interrupting Hawaii. "I handle all the sponsorships. I give you a six out of ten because it was vaguely interesting, about the hamburgers. Blaineley, your response?"

"Obvious that he made it up on the spot, three points," Blaineley muttered without even looking up. Chef gave her a look, and proclaimed, "Yeah, well, I dunno. I kinda liked it, an' you gotta admit that stuff was genuine fo' somethin' that was made up on the spot. I gotta give 'em seven points."

Hawaii gave a nervous, slightly desperate thumbs up, and made his way off stage as quickly as possible. "Bring out New York!" Chris then yelled after making a small note on his clipboard. "Let's have him go up next."

New York appeared, holding a sheet of paper. Chris snapped his fingers, and shouted, "Hey! No reading from your paper. It's a speech." To that, New York just dropped the paper on the floor in his nervousness; he bent to pick it back up, but decided against it, and faced the audience of three. "Uh... hi," he greeted with a small wave. "York here. My speech is how, um... Americans don't really feel grateful for everything that they get. I say 'they', even though I mean 'we'... uh... well, here goes..."

"Millions of Americans take what they have for granted," New York began, avoiding the stares of the three judges. "We live in one of the best countries in the world. Seriously, America rocks, and anybody who disagrees clearly needs to go. Thanksgiving is a holiday that's all about giving and being grateful and all that, and even then, it's sort of a big excuse to pig out and eat turkey all day. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but, um..."

Without his written copy of the speech, New York was a bit at a loss for words. "Uhhh..." he stammered, rubbing his arm nervously. "And anyways... my point is that we need to be more grateful. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, and we need to be... more... grateful. For Thanksgiving." He stood there for a moment or two more, and then bowed awkwardly. Chris clapped his hands together slowly with a bored expression, and said, "Bravo, York. That was some real inspiring stuff. I'll have to give you a seven, actually, because it could have been worse, somehow. Chef - your thoughts?"

Chef shrugged. "I give you a seven too!" he barked after a brief consideration. "Fo' the effort. Y'all better be impressin' me soon, though." Blaineley, when she realized it was her turn now, looked up, and dully said, "Oh, is it my turn? I give you a five. I guess. Pretty amateur stuff."

"That puts you at nineteen points out of thirty possible, New York!" Chris shouted, making a note in his clipboard of the result. "That's three points higher than Hawaii's sixteen. So, um... unless someone does the surely _impossible_ and beats New York, then York currently is winning elimination. Right. Uh. Let's have South Dakota go next."_  
><em>

**12:39 PM.**

"Which puts North Dakota in third place!" Chris shouted, as North bowed on stage. "Sort of an average performance, but whatever. I was actually expecting a lot better." To that, North Dakota strategically smiled politely, and said, "Well, I devoted my energy towards helping _others_ today." Her comment went unnoticed, because Chris waved a limp hand and said, "Let's have Oregon go next. I want to see what he's done. Oregon! Where are you, buddy?"

Oregon stiffly walked on stage, approaching the microphone with caution. "It's okay," Chris reassured him with an amused stare. "We won't bite you, though I'm not sure if I can say that for Blaineley. And no reading from a paper, by the way."

"I don't have a paper..." he mumbled, looking at the floor. Chris didn't respond, and just leaned back in his chair, waiting for Oregon's speech to begin. Oregon cleared his throat, and said, "I didn't plan to get this far. I don't even really want to get this far. When... I signed up for this show, I didn't even know it would be as long as half a school year, because I didn't even read the contract I signed."

"But I went with it anyways," Oregon continued slowly and deliberately. "I thought it'd be a fun thing to do. I would be on TV for a few weeks, and that was something. I was assigned to my team... Team Victory. They're the nicest group of people I think I ever knew in my life. Arizona... New Mexico... Hawaii, California, uh... Washington... and so, things just sort of kept going. I never got off the show, and I made it to the first merge."

He looked up, and said, "Washington has quite literally changed my life. He's taught me how to think, and... who to trust. He taught me how to accept myself for who I am, and showed me that there are people out there who care for you, and who will help you, even when you're at your most vulnerable." At that point, Oregon looked off stage, and smiled at North Dakota, who gave a somewhat dark smirk back. "Washington got me this far. I can't deny that," Oregon continued, looking back towards the three judges. "But I'm going to show that I can go further, thanks to him. He gave me the tools to get this far. It's up to me to use them. I'm thankful for Washington, and I'm thankful for the fact that I got to be on this show. It's changed my life."

Chris checked his watch. "You done yet?" he asked a little loudly. "I think we're all done hearing about Washington. Though your speech was nice. Blaineley, what do you think?"

Blaineley had been listening to Oregon the entire time. "It was _riveting!_" she exclaimed. "I just love you and Washington. The two of you have been _such_ a good source of gossip for the past few months. I give you a _nine_."

"Wow," Chris remarked, raising his eyebrows. "Uh. I don't know if it was _that_ good, but, uh... I give Oregon an eight, because it was more down-to-Earth than most of the other speeches I've heard. Chef, your thoughts? Chef?" Chef groggily looked up. He'd been taking a nap. "Uhhh... seven?" he muttered, swatting Chris away. "Leave me 'lone. I'm waitin' for lunch here."

"Right!" Chris then said, tallying up the score. "Wow. That already puts Oregon in first place, above Arizona's twenty-three, with Oregon's twenty-four. And we only have one more contestant left! Virginia! I wanna hear your speech now. Oregon, you're done, go back behind stage."

Oregon seemed a bit surprised at having gotten the most points yet, but Virginia was still up next. She stumbled onstage from behind the curtain, and waved nervously at the three judges. "Hey, Virginia here," she greeted quietly. "And happy Thanksgiving, by the way."

Nobody responded. It seemed the judges were only there to judge her speech accordingly. Virginia cleared her throat, and began, "Every year, I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family in Richmond. Me, my mom, and my brother, Benny. It was always kinda quiet. I cooked up some store-bought turkey, and we said what we were thankful for. Y'know. Typical family stuff. But... not this year."

Virginia stood proud, and proclaimed, "This year, I'm spending Thanksgiving in a city foreign to me, with people I _don't even know the real names of_. I'm competing to win a million dollars, and everything I say is being recorded for the entertainment of millions. This - this _sick_ entertainment industry is what I'm spending my Thanksgiving with. No mom. No Benny. And yet... I'm still expected to be _thankful_ for that. I'm expected to be thankful for the fact that people are making money off of my face, off of - off of my personality - people are _betting on me_, and betting against me, and - and I'm _still_ expected to be _thankful_ for that fact. It's sick."

There was a long silence. Virginia was speaking her heart - speaking out against the show for the first time. Everyone had been thinking the same thing, but the prize of a million was too tempting, so it was okay to be taken advantage of. Virginia was the first person to say this out loud.

"Uhhh... I'm gonna have to give you a solid _five_, Virginia," Chris reprimanded, glaring at her. "You currently work for CampTV. I also work for CampTV. Let's not start the whole anti-producers thing again, shall we? We're so close to the finals. Blaineley, your thoughts?"

"I give her a four," Blaineley decided, narrowing her eyes at Virginia. "You don't speak out against mainstream entertainment. You work with it. I'm not sure where this whole - this whole crusade against us came from, but it'd better stop soon. I would pay a _lot of money_ to be young and famous like Virginia here. And I'm giving her a four, because I'm still a little disappointed that someone from Team America's still in the game."

"Well, I'm gonna give her a _ten!_" Chef shouted, jumping up from his chair. "She spoke from her heart, an' that's what counts. She's better than all them others up there. She's gonna win this show. I can already tell." Virginia blushed, seeming slightly embarrassed, though glad she got something off her chest. "And was that the last one?" Chris asked, looking around. "Because if it is, then we've got a victor: Oregon! Everyone, come on out."

The nine contestants stepped out from behind the curtains; a few were staring at Oregon with somewhat annoyed glares. North Dakota's goal was achieved. "Nice job, everyone!" Chris congratulated, standing up to stretch. "We've still got some more stuff to do today, though! The delightful people of CampTV have organized a nice Thanksgiving meal for the entire cast of the show! That includes me, of course. It's going to be in one of the fanciest restaurants in Seattle: the Canlis restaurant! Beautiful views of Lake Union, and the finest dining the city has to offer. Who's ready?"

Cheers went up into the air; fine dining was something most of the contestants hadn't had for a long time, if at all._  
><em>

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_195_mp3**

"Heh. I am totally rocking Oregon's fate right now. By getting him to win, that might earn the animosity of a few more people. By getting his opposition against New York and Texas, I'm getting those two power players out the game. One less problem for me to deal with. And now, because he's siding with me, Massachusetts and Hawaii might think twice about crossing me. _Another_ problem I don't have to deal with. _Or_, the two of them will just outright oppose him, giving me a good excuse to vote Oregon off once I'm done with him! This is the best thing that's happened yet."

North Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_196_mp3**

"Uh. I don't really wanna be seen as some kinda rebel against CampTV or anythin' - and I'm real glad that I'm on this show, don't get me wrong 'bout that. It's just... I guess this is something I've been thinkin' for a while now, and... I just needed to air out my... grievances? The entertainment industry really is kinda bad, when you think about it. I mean, it's called an _industry_, as if we're all little soldiers, meant to entertain the masses at their will. Again, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful I'm on the show."

Virginia

**2:50 PM.**

"Now, isn't this nice?" Chris asked, wearing a tuxedo and sitting at the head of a table reserved for ten. Nine contestants all sat around him, digging into a huge meal. "Just the ten of us, sitting around the table, having a nice Thanksgiving lunch!" Chris commented, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "No drama! No challenges! No voting! Just _us_, sitting and eating, and celebrating a holiday that has little to do with America's founding principles, and wasn't even an official holiday until the late nineteenth century."

Despite Chris's claims, the atmosphere _wasn't_ worry-free at all. The contestants were hours away from another voting ceremony, and for most of them, there was a twelve percent chance they'd be going home, statistically. Elimination was on everyone's minds, especially after Washington was surprisingly kicked off. Some people were just picking at their food, not particularly wanting to eat very much. New York was one of them; every few moments, he looked up suspiciously at North Dakota.

"This _is_ fun!" South Dakota agreed, looking around from her position beside her sister. "It's just all of us, like a family! And really, we kind of _are_ a family, we've spent the last five months together..."

"Speak for yourself..." Virginia muttered, glaring at North Dakota. "_Some_ of us have a little trouble having general courtesy for others."

"Well, _those_ people have _good reason_ for avoiding pleasantries," North Dakota shot back, her fork in one hand, a pea precariously stabbed onto the forked end. "Like the fact that this is a _competition_, and only _one_ of us can win. And maybe _those people_ want to make _sure_ that they'll win."

A brief silence, and then New York spoke. "Would _those people_ go to such extremes as... abandoning new-found allies?" he asked slowly and determinedly, a fixed gaze on North Dakota. "After all, as South said, we _are_ a family, in a weird way. What reason would anybody have for turning against an ally?"

North Dakota sat up in her chair, a chilling stare directed at New York. "_Those people_ might find that it's _necessary_ to turn against people with so many enemies," she growled. "Someone like _you_, actually. _Those people_ would have little reason for continuing their alliance with a person like New York."

Chris's eyes swiveled back and forth between North Dakota and New York as tempers began to rise. "So that's it, then?" New York asked, abandoning his food entirely. "You would just - just _abandon me and Texas_ within _days_ of our alliance formation? Who have you found to replace us, then? It's not so easy to vote me off, y'know. People have tried before."_  
><em>

North Dakota smirked. Everything was on the table now. "Let's just say I have some _new_ followers," she said lowly. "One for now, but I'll get more. And even if I _don't_, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to align myself with someone like _you_. _You_, who has _so many enemies_ - Oregon, Massachusetts - and don't even _expect_ me to align myself with _Texas_."_  
><em>

"You can't _vote me off!_" New York protested, standing up and letting his plate clatter on the table. A few of the other patrons in the restaurant turned to stare. "North, we are _allied together_. If you want to _oppose me_, then I'll get _everyone _to vote against _you_. Mark my words."

"Alright, let's _settle down, now_," Chris said, waving his arms, but he did seem a little reluctant to stop the fighting - this was terrific material. Everyone was staring; not all the contestants had been aware North Dakota was allied with New York and Texas. Massachusetts frowned, eyes flicking between the two, growing concerned. "I can't believe this..." New York muttered, stepping away from the table. "Guys, don't trust her. Whoever's allied with her needs to back off. I'm... I'm gonna get some fresh air."

Oregon glared at him as he walked off outside. Texas set down his napkin gently, and mumbled, "Uh... yeah, y'all, I'm gonna have to follow him... be right back..."

The two left, leaving the table in silence. After a moment, Hawaii whistled with eyebrows raised; an outburst like that was bound to happen like that eventually. But this meant North Dakota was going against New York and Texas, which were Team Science's original enemies. Nothing good could come of this.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_197_mp3**

"Alright, Washington's gone, and Team Science is kinda falling apart here. Oregon's off doing his own thing, so it's just me and Massachusetts now. For some reason, North Dakota's opposing New York and Texas. Maybe 'cause they voted off Washington? Wait, wasn't North Dakota _with_ them on that? This is so confusing. But if North Dakota's the new leader... I mean, supporting her wouldn't be so bad. I'm just afraid she might turn on me."

Hawaii

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_198_mp3**

"I don't know what North Dakota's doing. She's up to something, that's definitive; this is a political game. I... think Oregon's with North Dakota now. But why? She voted against Washington. Doesn't he know that? She might've lied. That'd be like her. Okay, but North Dakota wants New York gone. And... so do _I_, but maybe I should look at the bigger picture here. I don't really _hate_ New York that much anymore. Sure, I did in the past, but... if North Dakota _wants_ my support... it might be in my best interests to stay away from that girl."

Massachusetts

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_199_mp3**

"Wow. A lot of drama's going down. All I know is that this means Virginia and I are safe. But... we might have to get involved, especially if it means aligning with the side that's against North Dakota. But I don't know about New York and Texas. From what I hear, they opposed Washington, and I _liked_ Washington. He was a good guy. Everything that North Dakota's doing is just making things more confusing. So... maybe Virginia and I should just sit on the sidelines?"

Arizona

**4:16 PM.**

Back on the bus. Late afternoon. The late November sun began to slink down the sky as tensions rose in the bus. North Dakota seemed to be running an intricate game, that was for sure; opposing New York and Texas meant possible support from Massachusetts and Oregon - possibly even Hawaii. If any sort of opposition to North Dakota was to form, it would be in the old girls of Team Fabulous.

"If you want to be with us, you _have_ to go against your sister," Virginia warned South Dakota, sitting in their bunk room. The bus was speeding towards the voting ceremony location, somewhere in central Washington. "Otherwise we can't have you."

"Not necessarily, though!" Arizona advised, glancing towards Virginia. "We can still be your friend, South Dakota, no matter what. But, um... I'm not sure why you're coming to us if you don't want to _ally_ with us..."

South Dakota was a wreck. The events leading up to the day were growing to be very strenuous, and seeing her own sister at the forefront of affairs on the show was clearly too much for her. "I just want people to _stop fighting_," she sobbed, eyes strained and teary. "Nobody listens to me. Everyone's just thinking - thinking _selfishly_, and about the prize, and - and we're a _team!_ I just want friends. That's all I want. I'm tired of my sister."

"Okay..." Virginia muttered, eyeing South suspiciously. "Okay, South. That's fine, I guess...? We're already sort of friends, though. Just not allies. You can _be_ an ally, though, but I'm not sure if your sister would really-"

"No! Not allies," South said quickly, eyes wide. "Not allies at all. I just want some people who can promote peace and stuff. The way my sister is handling things is just so... I don't know. I don't think I know North anymore. I miss my old _sister, _the one I didn't call 'North Dakota'."

Virginia and Arizona exchanged glances briefly, both thinking the same thing. South Dakota clearly didn't belong on this show. She wasn't mentally prepared for something like this.

**6:06 PM.**

"Oh, god..." New York whispered to himself, pacing the length of the bus's hallway. "Oh, _shoot_ - I really think I am _screwed here_..."

Texas leaned against a wall, eyebrows raised. "Yeah, no kiddin'," he muttered. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted North. She's a slippery one. She's gonna go for you, dude, mark my words. I'm gonna do what I can to keep you in the game. Y'know, I bet this is all because of Oregon. He's the one that wants you gone."

"No, it's _Massachusetts_..." New York growled, running his hands through his hair. "It's always been Massachusetts. He's plotted my downfall ever since - ever since the merge. Now he's working with North Dakota! That bastard. He stole my alliance member. North and I were going to go to the top together. Crap, this sucks, this sucks, this _sucks_... what do I do? _What do I do?_"

"Stop panicking," Texas told him sternly. "That's what gets you into these messes. Now, let's think. Arizona an' Virginia both don't like North. Let's side with them. I mean, sure - neither of us _know them_, but it's worth a shot. It's better than flounderin' around an' gettin' voted off. And I'm tellin' you, it's Oregon. He's the one workin' with her."

"No, it's _Massachusetts_," New York said in a dark voice. "Help me, Texas. We're friends. We're allies. Our huge alliance - with Mississippi, and Alabama, and me - that can't just fall apart now with the two of us..."

"Then go talk to Arizona an' Virginia!" Texas suggested again, though it seemed New York was much too wary of any newcomers. "But stop complainin'. You'll be fine. I'm pretty sure most people are against North Dakota. She's the bad guy, after all." New York sighed, and mumbled, "You'd better be right."

Just then, Massachusetts appeared, staring at New York. "York. Can I talk to you for a moment?" Massachusetts asked, arms folded. Initially, New York backed away, but a small shove from Texas made him reconsider. "Fine," New York muttered, and pulled Massachusetts into an empty bunk room.

New York faced Massachusetts, and pinned him to a wall. "You gotta help me here, dude," New York insisted, staring at Massachusetts desperately. "Please. We're friends. We were best friends! Just - help me out here. Please. For me. You don't like North Dakota, do you?"

"Get off me!" Massachusetts yelled, shoving New York away. "Damn. No, I don't like her, but I don't like _you,_ either. I want you to apologize for everything you did. Everything from Team Democracy. This is your last chance to get me back to your side. I can assure you that North Dakota is actively trying to vote you off."

New York sank to his knees, hands clasped together. "Massachusetts, I am _really_ sorry," he said with a desperate gleam in his eye. "_Please_. Please just forgive me. I don't want to go. I want to win. I'm sorry about Maine, and about - and about Connecticut, and New Jersey - and Delaware - and please, just - I really just want you to be on my side, and - and we were supposed to go to the _top two together_, man-"

It became clear that New York was just blubbering things now. Massachusetts slowly stepped away, growing revolted. "You've dug yourself into a hole, York," Massachusetts warned. "You sided with Texas and Alabama in an effort to get me voted off a few weeks ago. You sided with North Dakota to get Washington voted off, and now she's turned on you. This is all your fault."

New York's expression turned to that of horrific realization, as he let his arms go limp. "I'm going to get voted off, aren't I?" he whispered. Massachusetts nodded, pity in his eyes. "I'm... sorry, New York," Massachusetts murmured. "But I don't believe your apology. Every time the shit hits the fan with you, you end up panicking in fear. You _can't_ let fear overtake you, York. Again... I'm sorry."

Massachusetts walked out, leaving New York alone, and an ultimatum completed.

**6:59 PM.**

Nine would become eight. Five months spent on an abysmal show, only to be voted off right near the end. It's enough to drive anyone mad.

"Take your seats!" Chris instructed, a magnificent gleam of triumph in his eyes. "We've got a voting ceremony to take care of! Oh, I get the feeling this is gonna be a good one. Well, they're _all_ going to be good ones from here on out, actually. The history behind each contestant is fascinating. Well, anyways - deposit your votes into this hat!"

One by one, the nine each wrote down their vote and submitted it into the hat. "And _no cheating!_" Chris reminded sternly. "I made that a rule. That's a thing now. You can't cheat. I said so. Let's see here..." For a few minutes, Chris counted up the votes, making tiny little marks onto his clipboard as he did so. "Aha!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Perfect! No ties here. Let's begin. Arizona! No votes for you!"

She received a rather large package of beef jerky, which was tossed to the side after she looked over the bag with a somewhat repulsed look. "Hawaii! No votes, either!" Chris announced, tossing him some chips. "Let's see, who else... Oregon! You get a snack. No votes. Also getting a snack is South Dakota!"

A pause. "Virginia!" Chris then shouted, tossing a packet of Skittles to her. "You're safe. No votes. But you're the last one I can say that about! Which means the rest of you..." He indicated North Dakota, New York, Massachusetts, and Texas. "...the rest of you got at least one vote. Uh oh. Who's safe, and who's going home...?"

He took a few moments to let the "drama" sink in. "Massachusetts!" he yelled, snapping his finger. "You're safe, little dude. Here's some Reese's cups to make you happy." This left North Dakota, New York, and Texas. The three exchanged glances; if North Dakota was't going home, then it had to be between Texas and New York.

"Texas!" Chris yelled, throwing a speeding Ring Pop at his forehead. "You are _safe!_ You got one vote, just like Massachusetts. Which leaves... North Dakota and New York! Oh, man, it's really happening, isn't it?"

The two faced off, both waiting for the last bag of gummy worms. "This bag goes to the contestant that will survive another night!" Chris informed them all with a gleeful smile. "North Dakota, you are _infamous_ for your escapades on the show! You've directly caused the elimination of over a dozen contestants, as far as I can tell. You've led alliance after alliance, only to have each and every one of them break down before your eyes. Your cold determination has sent you as commander in chief of Team Dakota, which survived up until Oklahoma's elimination! North Dakota, you are quite literally one of the most important contestants on the show. However..."

Chris faced New York now. "York, you've gained similar infamy!" he cried. "Though you had a fairly peaceful time on Team Democracy for most of its run, you were soon sent into a spiral as events went out of control, eventually earning the animosity of Massachusetts! After the merge, you further aligned yourself against your old friend in your alliance with Texas and Alabama! When bad went to _worse_ after the second merge, you tried to get in good with North Dakota, only to have her turn against you in favor of other allies. And now... it's you versus her."

...

...

...

"New York, _this_ bag of gummy worms goes to _North Dakota!_ You got four votes, and she got three! Sorry, York! You're going home!"

A blank, dawning realization overtook his face. "Oh, _fuck_..." he muttered, rubbing his eyes. "No. It's fine. York, you can _do this_ - I _can do this_ - just don't cry - _it's okay_-"

He took a long, shaky intake of breath, and surveyed the eight remaining contestants. "Everybody," he said slowly, "um... I guess I've been voted off. Uh... is... anybody going to miss me?" To that, only Texas raised his hand, though it was sort of half-assedly. "Right..." New York mumbled, a little heartbroken. "I... guess I'll be off, then..."

New York took a few tottering steps towards the bus. When he was out of view, a loud sob could be heard. Massachusetts cringed, and glanced suspiciously at North Dakota, who seemed to be enjoying a private moment of triumph. Massachusetts then directed his gaze towards Oregon, who was just regarding New York with a dark contempt. This... should've felt like victory to Massachusetts. This was when New York was finally out of his life, and not bugging him anymore, but...

This wasn't a victory for Massachusetts. This wasn't even really a victory for Oregon. It was a victory for North Dakota, and her grasp on the game only continued to strengthen.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_200_mp3**

"This is what it feels like to be at the top. Here's Oregon, who's bent on eliminating Texas and New York. This emotionally immature kid is going to take out my biggest adversaries. Hawaii has nobody to follow, and I get the feeling that the two of us might get _very_ close soon. As for Massachusetts, well, I just helped him take out New York. He's going to have to pay me back for that, or it'll be him next. And if I ever need help eliminating someone, I can just turn to my sister for an extra vote! Within time, I can take out Arizona and Virginia, though... I might need to save them for the late game. Whatever. I've got this shit on lock."

North Dakota

****ELIMINATED: ****Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, and New York.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **The Sarcasm Master, Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN, StayOuttaMyShed, Anna Blake, Guest, ElizabethLifeStone, TheCharmingSociopath, and weeaboopunk!

**aspiringAnimator** - New York is gone, thanks to the lingering animosity of Massachusetts and North Dakota's switch of allegiance. Eight contestants remain, meaning just four weeks are left in the thing. Even though the character count is sharply decreasing, the word count is still going up; this one clocks in just short of 8,000 words.

That's the Thanksgiving update. I did make it just two hours before my deadline ended. I kind of was held back on this one; I didn't really start work until I got back from my trip to South Carolina. What do you guys think is next? Leave me a review! And if I make a grammatical mistake, please let me know.

For my eternal gratitude, and possible internet love, follow and favorite! Every time I find out someone follows me or my story, I think to myself, "Wow. I really like that person. They are a good person. They may very well be the best person, with morals, and a high regard for writing. They are my _hero_."


	44. The Great Heist of 2014

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - **(**Arizona and Virginia**)**, **(**North Dakota and Oregon**)**, Hawaii, Massachusetts, South Dakota, and Texas.

**EPISODE 43: THE GREAT HEIST OF 2014**

_"Huh? Oh, um... cereal... stuff." - Hawaii_

**Sunday, November 30th, 2014. New York City, New York. 6:49 AM.  
><strong>

Eight remained. The great show that started with fifty was now down to just eight. Eight contestants, seen on the world stage, all in opposition. In just three weeks, it would be down to two. This is the reality of The Fifty State Roadtrip; that half-year-long show, dedicated to pumping out a new episode for the American public twice a week. Though most viewers' states had been long voted off, there was still the excitement in watching the final eight face off for the million.

Bitter coldness followed the lone bus's journey east, back towards the east coast. The wind chill following that early sleet in Seattle didn't go away, and by the time the show had moved to New York City, temperatures had dropped into the twenties, though with no sign of any actual snow. The eight contestants tried to stay bundled up in their bunk rooms, not even wanting to see the scenery go by on their way into quite literally the largest city in the United States of America. Though the sun hadn't even risen yet at this point, two contestants were awake, still discussing the show.

"All I want is for Texas to go home," Oregon said determinedly to North Dakota, sitting in their bunk room. South Dakota was asleep, and trying not to listen. "Just him, and I'll be good. After that, um... I don't think I'll need your help anymore."

She raised a cold eyebrow at him. "No. You owe me now," she said simply. "I helped you. Now you need to help me, Oregon. We're _allies_."

He fidgeted for a few moments. "Well... I mean, _yeah_," he responded. "But... I just don't think I should one hundred percent support you. No offense or anything! No offense. But, um... we're kind of getting close to the finale, and... I think it's supposed to be every man for himself now. There shouldn't even _be_ anymore alliances."

At that, North Dakota scoffed, and flipped her hair. "Are you _kidding me?_" she asked with a grimace. "No, I plan on maintaining an alliance as far as I possibly can. Only the losers will be on their own. Like Texas? He's going down soon, just like I said. After all, it's what Washington would _want..._ right?"

Oregon considered that for a brief second, and nodded, though uncertainty seemed to linger in his eyes. "But I think Washington would _also_ want me to stay on my own..." he mumbled quietly. "He would want me to just kind of, um... avoid drawing attention, make friends where I can, and avoid making enemies..."

"You _are_ making friends!" North Dakota cried. "_Me!_ I'm your _best friend,_ Oregon. We're two peas in a pod, flocking like birds of a feather. I _supported_ Washington, believe it or not, and all the bad things you ever heard about me were lies. But Washington told me I could trust _you_."

Oregon's face lit up, and he said, clearly eager for information, "Ohhh, what else did he say?" North Dakota blinked, scratched the back of her head, and stammered, "Oh, well - other things, like, y'know - all sorts of stuff that... is irrelevant to our conversation. What _matters_ is that he would _want_ you to be allied with me."

He listened carefully to her words. "Wow," Oregon remarked, a little awestruck. "No offense, but I always thought people didn't really like you. Or something like that. But you're really not that bad of a person! I had no idea you were such a big supporter of Washington."

North Dakota shrugged, a smug, knowing smirk rising onto her face.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_201_mp3**

"North Dakota isn't as bad as everyone says. She's really nice sometimes! I think people just kind of get put off by her kind of stoic, sarcastic attitude, but she really does want what's best. Washington didn't really talk much about her, though, but I can see her supporting him from afar. That all said... I don't want to stay allied with her. Once Texas is gone... whenever that happens... I want to just end it with her. Peacefully. It _is_ supposed to be every man for himself, after all, and if I can stay under the radar, I might have a shot at this!"

Oregon

**7:24 AM.**

"What are you knitting?" Virginia asked Arizona, sitting on her bunk and reading a magazine. Arizona looked up suddenly, holding up green and white yarn. "Oh, nothing," she said, shrugging the question away. "It's going to be a hat or something. For when it starts snowing. I figured snow's pretty cold, so..."

Virginia giggled, and replied, "Yeah. It's pretty cold. Not that I got much snow, but if you're not used to it... then you might wanna start bundlin' up and all that."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, as the scenery of northern New Jersey went by on their way to New York City. Flat white clouds covered the sky, though snow seemed unlikely. In homes and businesses the bus passed, Christmas decorations were already being hung as Americans got ready for the holiday season, _even though_ December hadn't arrived yet. "It does kind of stink that New York got voted off..." Arizona murmured, focusing on her two needles. "He might have actually been a good ally, since he ended up opposing North so vehemently."

"I'm pretty sure Oregon was the one who made the call against him..." Virginia suggested darkly, glancing at Arizona for her reaction. "I know he's working with North Dakota now, and he's the one that wanted York and Tex gone. It's all drama from back in Team Freedom. Doesn't apply to _us_, New York said. Remember?"

Arizona glanced at Texas's bunk. Thirty minutes earlier, he'd gotten up for a shower, and presumably was having breakfast. "I don't think Oregon would go that far..." Arizona mentioned, looking down at her needlework. "He's kind of a mellow kid. North is manipulating him, probably... hm. I'll have a talk with him. I don't think I've spoken to him very much since the days of Team Victory."

"Well, _good_, speak to him," Virginia decided, flipping a page through the magazine. "It'd be psycho to follow North Dakota's leadership. I'm kind of surprised more people aren't joining us in order to oppose her."

"It's the late game," Arizona sagely remarked. "People are scared. They'll do anything to ally with someone they think has the power to get them to the top. I mean, it's a stupid idea, sure - but people are desperate."

**8:45 AM.**

It was around this time of day that North Dakota decided she would do something about her lack of an alliance member.

The bus slowly made its way through the tight streets of Manhattan on its way to wherever the challenge would be located. It garnered a _lot_ of attention as it went by; a few residents were familiar with the show, and had seen their own state go down just a few nights previously. On one occasion, someone threw a cup of soda at the bus as it drove by in Times Square.

North Dakota tip-toed through the halls of the bus, which was slowly becoming more and more deserted as the weeks went on. Eventually, she found her target. Hawaii sat at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of Trix as he looked over the back of the box, enjoying figuring out the riddles it contained. North sat down right across from him with a small, secretive smile. "Oh, _hey_, Hawaii!" she said scooting close to him. "What are you doing there?"

He looked up, a piece of cereal stuck to his chin. "Huh?" was the first thing he uttered. "Oh, um... cereal... stuff. Not much. Lookin' out the windows and stuff. What, um... what about you?"

"Oh, y'know..." she sighed, resting her head on the palm of her hand and gazing at him. "_Stuff_. Things. You know how it is, Hawaii. You know what? I _respect_ you a lot more than most of the other good-for-nothings on this team. You really know how to handle yourself! It's _no wonder_ that you've gotten this far, really. I have to give you props."

Hawaii raised his eyebrows, grinned as a drop of milk rolled off the corner of his mouth, and said, "Well, I mean - heh - I guess that's just how I do. It's the Hawaii way. Mainly gettin' this far just takes a bunch of determination, and a _lot_ of skill, and... good looks, I _guess_..."_  
><em>

North Dakota resisted retching at the sound of that, and stammered, "Oh - _definitely with you there_ on the good looks." With that, she stood, giving him a wink, and walked off back towards her bunk room shuddering. Hawaii grinned to himself, temporarily abandoning his cereal as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_202_mp3**

"Oh, man. Was North Dakota flirting with me? I dunno, she's pretty hot. I get the feelin' that she doesn't hit on _everybody_. So... what does this mean? Should I go for it? I've kinda always had a soft spot for _really_ hot girls... like California. I'm gonna just see where this goes."

Hawaii

**9:23 AM.**

_New Yooork! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of! There's nothing you can't do!_

Chef had finally stopped the show's bus in front of a huge building in lower Manhattan. A part of the street had to be blocked off, so that cars and pedestrians wouldn't interfere in filming. Chris stood before the eight contestants, dressed in a fancy suit, and wearing a giant, vaguely sadistic grin. "Welcome to the Big Apple, kids!" he yelled, gesturing vaguely at the buildings around them. "The big melting pot of America, where each and every culture around the world mixes. Today will be an interesting challenge, oh, yes it will. Contestants, did you know that banks in New York City have been robbed literally _thousands of times?_ It's true!"_  
><em>

He waited for their reaction on that. A few of the contestants began to see where he was going with this. Chris pointed at the building they stood outside, and said, "This is the Bank of America! Second richest bank in New York City. You eight are going to be _robbing it today!_"

Massachusetts took a few steps back, horrified, and quickly said, "Wait, _seriously?_ Hold on - this isn't legal, and we're just _kids_-"

"Shoosh!" Chris quieted, holding up a finger in front of Massachusetts's face. "You didn't let me finish. All personnel and civilians in the bank today will be paid actors! This includes any police force that will arrive. A few of you will need to go in on the inside _undercover_ as _security guards!_ Oh, yes, we're getting technical with this. And _for_ today's special challenge, we broke out these bad boys!"

He kicked open a chest of air-soft weapons. "Remember these?" he asked, wearing a smug expression. "They've got the same anesthetic coating and stuff. All actors _will_ be acting just as any person would act in a bank robbery, except all police officers will be given the same air-soft pistols, so that we don't get any, uh... '_accidentally killed contestants_'. Heh. So! Are you kids up for the _challenge?_"

_Now you're in New Yooork! These streets will make you feel brand new! The lights will inspire you! Let's hear it for New York, New York, New Yooork!_

A few uncertain shrugs were exchanged among the contestants. "What, um... what choice do we have?" South Dakota asked, nervously eyeing her fellow finalists. "So who's going in undercover?" Chris scratched his chin thoughtfully, and said, "Hm. I guess you will, South. You'll need someone else to go in with you. Remember, we're doing this just like a real bank robbery. You'll even be stealing _real money!_"

Now, _that_ was an incentive. Before the contestants grew too excited, though, Chris disclaimed, "Though _none_ of you will be keeping it. Kind of a big deal here. _Oh!_ Forgot the most important part of the challenge. The contestant with the most money at the end wins! So don't go losing your bags or anything, or getting the money shot up. Seriously, if you _do_ lose any money you're in _big trouble_. Though that shouldn't be a problem, my producers tell me. So! Who wants to go in undercover with South Dakota?"

Long moments went by before anyone volunteered. Eventually, Massachusetts raised his hand somewhat exasperatedly, and said, "I guess I'll do it. Can't be that bad." Chris clasped him on the shoulder, and exclaimed, "That's the spirit, Massachusetts! Alright! Everyone else, follow me, you'll need to go in at the exact right time. This is going to be a _very_ controlled operation."

**9:55 AM.**

"So what's the plan?" South Dakota whispered to Massachusetts as the two walked past the tellers' booths. "Act natural," he advised, wearing the stiff security uniform and looking incredibly out of place, as they were the only two security guards that were shorter than five foot five. "Our job is to just go down into the vault and unlock it, and wait for the others to begin the actual robbery."

The two arrived at a large metal door in the back of the bank, which they opened with a swipe of an ID card. "We go down into this place and wait for Chris's word," Massachusetts muttered, walking down a set of stairs to the underground. "Just don't look anybody in the eye or anything. There are all actors down here, but still... they've been instructed to act just like anybody would act in a situation like this."

They reached one of the lower levels, walking along lengthy corridors to find the vaults. "I wonder if anybody's ever robbed this bank before..." South murmured, taking note of all the high levels of security they were required to get through. "It's so _big_, and so _secure..._"

"Like Chris said, there's been thousands of robberies in New York City," Massachusetts reminded, shrugging and smiling at South. "Maybe this place got robbed once. I'd be surprised if it hasn't. We just need to keep our heads and do what we're supposed to do. And don't worry, South, we're not in any _real_ danger."

Both of them finally reached the giant, thick metal door of what seemed to be a large vault. "This must be it..." Massachusetts muttered, rubbing the metal gently. "Our IDs should get us through here, but we only need to get in when Chris tells us. Let's just, um... wait right here."

They didn't have to wait long, as within moments a crackly voice from South Dakota's belted radio yelled, "_South! Massachusetts! Are you two there yet? We're ready to begin_." South unclipped the small radio, pressed a button, and yelled into it, "Yeah - yeah, we're, um... we're ready, Chris! What do you want us to do, exactly?"

"_Open up the vault!_" Chris shouted back. "_One of the others will be down with you momentarily to get the cash. You're to follow them when they go back up and meet up with the others. Can you do that?_"

"Roger!" Massachusetts said back. "Alright. Opening the vault. Let's see what's inside."

**10:01 AM.**

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're having an issue with your funds right now..." a black bank teller muttered, typing into a computer beside the window. "It says you withdrew a loan of ten grand back in February... and were supposed to pay it back by August. Hey, buddy, do you know anything about that?"

A loud bang as five masked people burst into the bank, holding rifles and wearing expensive suits. "Everybody _get on the fucking floor!_" North Dakota screamed, aiming her rifle at the terrified patrons. "Don't nobody try anything. Get _down on the floor_."

Virginia ran up to the counter, air-soft shotgun pointed straight at a teller. "Open the door," she ordered as civilians began lying down on the ground with their hands over their heads. "This is a robbery. Don't make this harder for us than it needs to be, alright? We don't want any civilian casualties. Now _open the door_. Please."

"I - I got it!" one of the employees whimpered, pressing a button on the underside of his desk. A door letting the five robbers into the back opened. "I'll watch the kids!" North Dakota yelled, and pointed at the back entrance to the vaults. "Oregon, Hawaii, you two go get the cash. Get as _much_ as possible. Make sure to get eight bags in total."

Oregon and Hawaii nodded, and ran down into the back of the bank, leaving North Dakota, Virginia, and Arizona to watch the hostages. "Now, listen, everybody," Arizona said, nervously pointing a gun at the civilians. "We're your friends. We're just here for the bank's money. That's all. I don't want to have to shoot anybody today, okay? We're here in peace. Me and Virginia, here, we-"

"Why are you telling them my _name?_" Virginia seethed, glaring at Arizona. Arizona realized her mistake, shrugged nervously, and said, "Well, I mean - we're putting them through a lot... and we don't want any civilian casualties. Even though these guns aren't... real... okay, never mind, I shouldn't handle the talking..."

Virginia glanced back at Arizona one more time, and told the patrons lying on the floor, "Well, we're just here for the cash, and then we'll be gone. Don't nobody try anything. We're just kids trying to rob a bank."

"Don't fucking tell them that we're _kids!_ That's gonna make it harder for them to find us, isn't it?" North shouted, aiming her gun at Virginia. "Remember we have to get _out _of this place. There's a reason Chris gave us these guns. It's because we'll have to fucking blast our way through dozens of cops out there. God, it's like you people don't think of _anything_. Where's Texas?"

"Don't say _names!_" Arizona cried, backing away to keep the situation at hand under control. "He's up on sniper duty. He'll be with us later. And don't be so liberal with your cursing, North... we're on TV. They'll have to censor parts of what you said now."

"I don't care!" North Dakota shouted, completely ignoring the hostages now. "We've got one job. Get as much money as we can. Hell - that money might be worth _more_ than the show's prize altogether. Do you really want to let any of it go? We might even get an _actual cut of it_. We can't screw this up. So, yes, _fuck_ the hostages. That shit's over. I'm in this for the money."_  
><em>

Just then, four teenagers ran up from the back of the bank, each carrying two heavy bags of cash. "Everyone grab a bag!" Massachusetts ordered. He'd completely ditched the security guard uniform, as did South Dakota. "There's one for each of us." As North Dakota received her bag, she eyed Massachusetts suspiciously, and muttered, "You'd better not have packed more money in yours."

"I didn't have _time_ to even care about how much money's in mine," Massachusetts reassured her. "Alright, guys, we need to move out. Someone save a bag for Texas, he's going to be helping out on sniper duty. We need to get out of here now. Someone triggered an alarm during this whole thing, and now there's-"

"Wait, someone triggered an alarm?" Arizona asked, bewildered. "When did that happen?"

Suddenly, a loud, magnified voice from outside called, "_Come out with your hands up. This is the NYPD. Surrender now, and you will not be harmed_." Oregon yelped, nearly dropped his bag of money, and said, "Oh, no - oh gawd, what do we do? How are we supposed to get _out of here?_"

"Chris said the cops are actors!" Virginia yelled, though she didn't even seem certain of that fact herself. "And that they've got guns just like ours. Remember, guys - don't get shot. Okay? We can break our way through them. If anybody gets hit, we leave them behind, simple as that. Come on!"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_203_mp3**

"Robbing a bank is a lot harder than it looks on TV. You have to be really careful and stuff. I mean, sure, everyone involved were paid actors - even us, technically, but still. The way there were cops surrounding the building, and then the shootout? It's scary. I didn't think I was going to make it."

Arizona

**10:08 AM.**

Things were quite peaceful on the roof of a tall apartment building in lower Manhattan. Pigeons soared around the structure, as Texas sat on the very edge, twiddling his thumbs and looking down at the street below. It was a beautiful day in the city, to be honest - cold, but awe-inspiring nonetheless. He readied his sniper rifle, loaded with a deadly anesthetic pellet. Down below, things hadn't devolved into a bad enough situation to warrant the gun's use, but according to his watch, they would soon.

A number of police cars surrounded the bank. SWAT teams carried automatic rifles, and had them pointed at the doors of the bank. Texas sighed, picked up his rifle, and aimed down at the cops below. "Man, they're gettin' themselves caught already..." he muttered, squinting into the scope and picking a head to target. With very little hesitation, he pulled the trigger, sending a pellet rocketing out the barrel and down to the street below. Seconds later, it landed with a PAP on the asphalt a few feet away from the cop, who'd barely noticed it. "Oh... damn it..." Texas mumbled, reloading and aiming slightly higher this time, to account for the fact that the pellets weren't fired at the speed of an actual bullet. When he fired this time, it smacked the cop right in the back of the head, sending him toppling to the ground. Texas grinned, reloaded, and took aim again.

Just then, seven of his friends burst out of the bank, all firing upon the police officers. "Oh, crap-" Texas said, this time working quicker to take out as many cops as possible. The gunfight down below wasn't very loud; mainly, it just sounded like a lot of clattering. The seven contestants below had strategically hidden behind pillars and other cars, so that they wouldn't get hit by any pellets. When the contestants began to move down the street, Texas picked up his gun, and sprinted for the stairs, needing to meet up with the others as quickly as possible, without arousing any attention. This was going to get complicated.

**10:13 AM**

"Down this alleyway!" North Dakota screamed, sprinting with the others through a clustered path in between the tall buildings of downtown New York City. Sirens rang out behind them, but they couldn't stop running, not now. Not when each of them carried hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash on their backs. "Keep your heads down!" Virginia advised, noticing that Hawaii was running, standing straight up as he did so. "We need to find a way to get away from the cops. A vehicle - does anyone have their license yet?"

Nobody did. Everyone who _did_ get their license before the show started - Utah, Arkansas, Delaware, and a few others - had been voted off. "I've got my leaner's permit," Arizona pointed out with a frown. Virginia pointed at her, and said, "Awesome. You're driving."

North Dakota scoffed, and yelled, "Why can't _I_ drive? I haven't driven _once_ on this show so far!" South looked up at her sister with a confused expression, and reminded, "Um, you drove during that one challenge where we had to build a car. Remember?" But North Dakota swatted her sister away, and continued, "I _deserve_ to drive. Every time I let _other_ people drive, they screw up the challenge for us. Like with Utah. He deserved _that_ elimination."

But it didn't matter _who_ was driving, because in that instant, Texas appeared, almost crashing into the group of seven contestants. "Aw, jeez - I found y'all!" he shouted, smiling brightly. North Dakota rolled her eyes. "Good. Hawaii, give him his bag," she instructed, and Hawaii obeyed. "Follow us. We're getting out of here. Hey - if we're going to be getting in a car, won't we need a really big one?"

"Just stuff Oregon an' South in the trunk," Texas suggested, unwittingly gaining a startled stare from the two. "They're real scrawny. They can fit in there." But in that very same moment, a car pulled up to the other end of the alleyway, trapping them. "Oh, _crap!_" Massachusetts yelled, pointing at the officer. "_Go back, guys!_ Go back!"

They couldn't go back; a cop was on the other end, too, advancing towards them with an air-soft pistol. "_Drop the weapons, and put your hands in the air!_" one of the officers ordered, rapidly approaching. South Dakota, in a fit of panicking brilliance, pointed down below their feet. "The sewers!" she shouted, and knelt to pry open the manhole cover. "Everyone down here!" Nobody seemed willing to argue, since there wasn't enough time, coupled with the fact that it was an _actual plan_. The cops were much too far from them to catch up, and within moments, the manhole cover was securely put back on. They'd escaped into the sewers of New York City.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_204_mp3**

"You know what I just _love?_ Contestants that make everything harder for _everybody_."

Chris

**10:20 AM.**

"Wait. They're what?" Chris asked an intern, who shrunk away from him. "You said they're in the _sewers now?_ Hold on - okay, we can't get footage of them in the sewers. Someone get them out of there, pronto."

"That's the thing..." Brad the Intern stammered. "We can't. When they put the cover back on, it got completely lodged. We've got firefighters working on it. But - but there's eight kids running around the sewers of New York with possibly _millions_ of dollars in tow! What do you think we should do?"

Chris rubbed his chin after a slight groan in hearing Brad the Intern's tale. "Well, get a search team down in there, stat," he said. "Get _everyone_ down there. Shoot them with the air-soft thingies if you have to. If I have no contestants, then _I have no show_. Those kids are supposed to be under _my protection_, no matter what."

**10:49 AM.**

"Keep going forwards..." Oregon murmured, ducking his head low to avoid banging on the wet concrete ceiling. The sewers of New York City were dark, smelly, and wet, encompassing a huge labyrinth of dangerous tunnels and chasms. Some parts were even completely collapsed, or abandoned, and the smell was absolutely revolting the whole way through. In time, all contestants lifted their shirt over their face to be able to withstand the smell. No matter how far they walked, there seemed to be few ways back to the surface.

"I'm tired," Hawaii complained again, but Texas shushed him, holding up a finger. "Y'all, we'll be outta here any minute from now..." he reassured. "Just keep movin' forwards. Everything's gonna be alright." North Dakota squinted at him in the dark, and muttered, "Speak for yourself. I'm ready to get out of here _now_. We just need to find an exit, or a tunnel that pops out or something. Shouldn't be too... hard..."

At that instant, she spotted a light, reflected along the slick passages of the tunnel the eight had been traversing. "Up ahead!" North cried, pointing. "I see a light!" Massachusetts glanced at her, suspecting insanity, and said, "Could just be an electric light. We've seen a lot of them." But North Dakota shook her head violently, and proclaimed, "No, this is different. It's _daylight_. We can get out of here and keep the money for ourselves! Ahaha! Ohhh, this is perfect. Absolutely brilliant. Anybody willing to share theirs with me?"

They ran forward, nearly slipping on the floor in their trek. Soon, their feet carried them towards a bright, shining opening in the tunnel that seemed to go right out into the open air, carrying that salty, yet relieving New England scent. "This _is_ it!" Arizona cried, approaching the opening. The eight contestants simply stood their for a moment; all carrying duffel bags on their backs and admiring the view. The pipe they'd been walking through exited right on the very edge of Manhattan, depositing right onto a rocky beach just a few feet below. "We made it..." Oregon gasped, breathing in the harbor air. "Oh, wow, we actually made it." He hopped down onto the slick beach below, squinting in the daylight. "I don't hear any police sirens," Oregon then pointed out. "Do you think we escaped...?"

"We must have..." North Dakota responded, setting her bag of cash on the ground to take a look at it. She unzipped it, as she said, "If we make a run for it and find a vehicle, we can be well into New Jersey within the hour. The cash should last us a good while so that's probably - oh, _motherfucker!_"

Everyone winced at her continued, blatant cursing, and peeked over at what she was looking at. North Dakota pulled up a handful of green dollars, and showed them all, face outlined with outrage. "It's all _fake!_" she screamed, waving her hands around unnecessarily. "It's _Monopoly money!_" And, lo and behold, the money she pulled out was _indeed_ just copies of the green twenty dollar bills, carefully arranged into bound stacks that should've amounted to thousands of dollars. "Aha..." Massachusetts chuckled, picking up a stack. "I knew Chris would never have trusted us with real money. I didn't even realize when we were packing up the money. I was just grabbing handfuls of the stuff."

The contestants all groaned. "Well, my plan's over..." North Dakota muttered, throwing some of the money at the ground with a loud huff. She then froze, as the other contestants sat down on the beach, waiting to be inevitably found by either the police or Chris. "Wait. Hawaii?" she suddenly said, beckoning for him to come nearer. Hawaii gulped, and sat down beside her, asking, "Oh... _hey_, North Dakota... what's up?"

North Dakota grinned, closed her eyes seductively, and whispered, "Could you... ah... give me your bag of money? You know... for _us...?_"

Hawaii blinked. "What?" he asked, scooting closer to hear. "You want my - ohhh. Well, I... um... I _guess_ I could give you it, but don't I need it for the challenge...?" But before he could inquire further, she pouted her lips, and sighed slowly. "Ohhh... I see how it is," she mumbled, growing uncomfortably close to Hawaii. "I just... thought you might've _cared_ about me by now..."

"Oh, I - um - I do!" Hawaii protested, but North Dakota didn't seem to be having any of it. "Uh - ummm... okay, fine, you can have my bag. That's okay with me, it shouldn't matter much anyway." North Dakota's face lit up at that, and she said, "Oh, _thank_ you, Hawaii. You're so _compassionate._ I think the two of us could become _so_ much closer... if you'd be willing to _ally_ with me, that is..." Without a moment to spare, Hawaii widened his eyes, and exclaimed, "Yeah! I'll - no problem! I can do that! I'll be on your side... heh... and maybe we _could_ get a little closer..."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_205_mp3**

"Hah. It's _fun_ just seducing people into supporting me. Hawaii is such an easy target, too. My skills are wasted here. Well... now that I've got _him_, that's two people supporting me. Three total votes in a team of eight. Four, if my sister _ever_ decides to comply. This is going well. I've already been fantasizing about what I'd do with the prize money. I would have enough to get out of the dump that's known as North Dakota, first of all. I'd then invest in a business - maybe my own. I'd use a sizable portion to go to Harvard, too. And if my sister comes in second, then I guess I'd share some with her, though definitely not half. That'd be like saying she's equal to me."

North Dakota

**10:58 AM.**

North Dakota winced at that, but said, "Oh, _yes_," as she received a second large bag of fake Monopoly dollars. "_Thank you_, Hawaii. I-"

"_Hey!_" Chris yelled, standing on street level a few meters above them and pointing down. He was assisted by a few cops. "Yeah, this is it! We found them! Kids, you are in big, big trouble." North Dakota stood, and pointed back at Chris, screaming, "And so are _you!_ This is fake cash!"

Chris let out a hearty laugh at her, and bellowed, "Of course it is! You don't actually think I'd let you kids steal _real_ cash, do you? Like I said, it was a _very_ controlled operation. Kind of amusing that only _now_ did you find out it was fake. Oh, well. So! Who wins the challenge?"_  
><em>

With a keen eye, he surveyed the contestants below, and noticed that North Dakota was now in possession of _two_ bags of money, with Hawaii left with none. "Aha!" he yelled, pointing at her. "Looks like North Dakota wins _this_ one. Nice going. She gets immunity from the voting ceremony!" And right at that, groans were heard from a few of the contestants that openly opposed her. This wasn't going to be a fun night.

Chris gave a wave to them, and pointed at a ladder nearby. "Climb on up here so we can get you kids back in the bus," he told them. "Chef's got some Christmas tunes he wants to play on the radio today, he says, so this should be extra fun. On we go!"

**1:33 PM.**

After driving through the city for a bit, The Fifty State Roadtrip's only bus stopped in Central Park, while they all waited for the voting ceremony. Contestants were free to walk around the park, with the promise that they'd be back in time for voting. And so, Hawaii, North Dakota, South Dakota, Oregon, and Massachusetts went on a walk to the fountain in south Central Park. A few people called them out, incredibly excited to meet the stars, but otherwise they were a group of regular teens; not completely united, but still in the same show nonetheless.

"I just want Texas gone," Oregon claimed, eating out of a bag of nuts he'd bought from a street vendor. "That's all. He's against people who are gay. And plus he's kind of on his own anyways..."

"Texas it is, then," North Dakota muttered with a grin, knowing that she was safe from elimination. "He _did_ back stab me, after all. And we were such good allies!"

Nobody was quite sure whether or not she was being serious about that. It was common knowledge by this point that North Dakota had back stabbed New York and Texas, not the other way around. But most people that surrounded her in that instant either supported her, or didn't care enough to state otherwise. "Yeah, Texas sucks!" Hawaii yelled, despite having rarely spoken to him before. "He's just - _oh man, so bad._ So bad! Heh. Right?"

North Dakota nodded, smiling sweetly for Hawaii. The fact that there was something between them couldn't be ignored. Massachusetts rolled his eyes and increased his distance from his old alliance members, and instead walked with South Dakota down a separate trail. She didn't seem to mind it, either; getting away from her sister appeared to be something she was quite willing to do. "I honestly can't stand them anymore..." Massachusetts admitted, as the other three receded into the distance. "Oregon's a good kid, and I think he'll come back around eventually, but I'm just sick of them right now."

South Dakota nodded sadly in agreement, sticking close by Massachusetts and putting her hands in her pockets for warmth against the cold northeastern air. "I just don't like being near her anymore," she admitted quietly. "She was so much better back before this show. I mean, yeah, right when the show started, boom - all she cared about was the prize - but before then... it was always petty stuff, like winning the science fair, and beating her 'rivals' in school, and getting straight A's and stuff. She was always fun to help out in her schemes. I think... I think I just had fun being a part of something that she was doing. That might have been it."

The two walked in silence, as a jogger ran past them. "I don't think I'm cut out for this show," Massachusetts muttered quietly. "I mean, I made it this far - and I made a lot of friends along the way, like Delaware, Maine, New York, Washington, Connecticut... but I dunno. I might have just been happier if I'd stayed home and gone to school like normal. I wouldn't be famous, which is a good thing, believe it or not... and I wouldn't be involved in all this... stupid _drama_..."

South paused, and thought for a moment. "You would like Arizona and Virginia," she said determinedly. "Meet with them. Maybe you could make an alliance against North Dakota! It's a possibility, you know..." Massachusetts gave her a curious look, and said, "You're _actually _advocating for me to oppose your sister? What happened to family ties, and things like that? Don't you want your sister to win?"

Another moment of silence. South Dakota stared at the leaf-strewn, paved ground. "Not... really..." she whispered. "Honestly... anybody but her."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_206_mp3**

"South Dakota is a good person. She doesn't belong on this show, sure - I think she's just in it for the ride because her sister is - but she's actually one of the only honest people _on_ here. Things must be kind of hard for her now. It's going to suck when she gets eliminated. Probably by her own sister, no doubt. Me, I plan on staying in the game as long as I can, but someone like her... flat out doesn't belong here. I don't even think she's here for the money."

Massachusetts

**7:02 PM.**

Nightfall in the city that never sleeps. Though the sun had long dipped below the horizon, the skyscrapers of New York City stayed lit up, eternally shining their fluorescent hue over the entire land. Off in the distance, the Statue of Liberty rose triumphantly, forever representing the banner that cried, "_Welcome to the Land of Opportunity!_" This was a city of music, sin, and liberty, but most importantly, it was a city of _people_ - the great melting pot for the world, a vat where every culture could unite as one. A city of twenty million people, fighting in that great struggle of survival in the twenty-first century; a city of narcissism, selflessness, and indifference. Out of every city in the world, New York City is most certainly the most utterly _human_ of them all.

And so, Chris McLean stood before the last eight contestants of The Fifty State Roadtrip, grinning maliciously and holding up a plastic bag, surely filled with snacks picked up from a nearby convenience store close to Central Park. That grin of excitement would last for the next three weeks. "_Hello_, kids!" he cried, shaking the bag suddenly. "The votes are in... and we have a loser tonight. Let's begin, shall we? I'm excited. It's literally going to be the first voting ceremony that North Dakota's been in where she _hasn't_ gotten a single vote!"

This was almost true, apart from a few Team Dakota voting ceremonies where the eliminatee had just given up. "When I call your name, you get a snack and the potential to win a million dollars!" Chris told them all. "And if your name _isn't_ called... then you get _no_ snack, and the promise of hopping inside one of the many taxi cabs of this city, to be taken home in. Let's see..."

...

"Arizona!" Chris called, shaking a bag of hard candy a little too violently for her. "You're safe. No votes. Also safe is Massachusetts, North Dakota for once, South Dakota, and Virginia! No votes for all of you. Leaving... Hawaii, Texas, and Oregon!"

The three boys nervously eyed each other. There were only two snacks left for them. Chris narrowed his eyes at the three, and said, "The entirety of everyones' votes have gone to you three. What you did to deserve it, I don't know! But I do know... that... Oregon is safe!"

A bag of Cheetos collided with his chest. "You got two votes, little dude!" Chris told him, smiling. "So. Now it's just between Hawaii... and Texas. Hawaii, nobody's really sure why you're still on the show, but you are, so there's that. And also you seem to be aligning yourself with a certain other contestant behind scenes! Interesting, really. But Texas! Your opinions have _still_ made you a prime target for elimination. Not only that, but all your friends have long since been eliminated, giving you no protection during elimination ceremonies!"

He paused for the moment where the dramatic music would later be implemented by the interns. "The final snack... goes... to..."

...

...

...

...

...

"_Hawaii!_ You're safe! Two votes, meaning Texas got four!"

Hawaii gasped in relief, clasping the candy bar as it landed into his lap. Texas frowned, seeming hurt. "Aw, man - seriously?" he asked, looking around. "Wait, why me?" Chris blinked at Texas, and asked, "Wait, haven't you been paying attention to what's going on? New York just got voted off, and you don't have anymore friends to protect you."

Texas refrained from speaking for a moment, and then said, "Oh. Well - I didn't know y'all wanted me _gone_... jeez, I would'a done somethin'. I guess this is how it is, though, huh? Gettin' in eighth place? Not so bad when you think about it."

"Oh, I can _assure_ you that it's not," Chris said, shrugging. "You've got like millions of fans in Texas. Don't worry, dude, you'll be fine. Still, though, when everybody's out to vote you off, you _do_ something about it. That creates drama, increasing ratings!"

Texas didn't answer Chris, and instead waved at the contestants as he walked off towards the bus. "Bye, y'all!" he yelled, picking up his bag. "This was a fun show, I think. An' Chris is right, I probably have _loads_ of fans... oh, man, I wonder how many followers I got on Twitter now. This is so cool. Can I stay for a bit an' do some shoppin'? I know they got these huge department stores, and I think they probably got a sportin' goods place somewhere near here-"

"Yes! Sure! Whatever!" Chris yelled, waving his hand to get Texas away. "Just go! I don't want to see you on the show again. Okay? Okay."

A sigh from Chris as he turned to address the cameras. "Well! That was the forty-third episode!" he exclaimed as though the viewers had no clue. "What will happen next? Who will make it to the final six? Will the surely _millions of fans_ wanting for Virginia and Massachusetts to get together be excited with this Wednesday's episode? Find out next time... on _The Fifty State Roadtrip!_"

He stood there for a few moments, staring into the camera with a fixed grin as he always did. The camera guy gave a thumbs up, and shut off the equipment finally. "Man, I'm beat..." Chris muttered, checking his watch. "We're stopping for takeout at a Vietnamese place somewhere tonight, kids, so buckle up. I'm hungry for some cheap food."

As the contestants boarded the bus, where Chef sat with a bored expression, North Dakota took Oregon aside, and whispered, "Alright. Texas and New York are gone. I helped you with that. You needed me. Now you need to help _me_. I don't help people for free, y'know." Oregon took a step back, avoided North Dakota's glare, stating, "Yeah - okay, fine, whatever - but I thought you were just doing that for Washington. Because you supported him."

"I don't do '_favors_'," she seethed, grabbing his arm. "I helped you get rid of New York and Texas. Now you need to help me. I understand that you're '_done_' with voting people off, but you need to be on my side now. I don't just protect people for free."

Oregon stared at her. "But we're friends!" he said, growing confused. "I thought... I mean... _you_ wanted to help me. Not the other way around. I could have lived with Texas and New York staying in the game, but..."

North Dakota groaned, and looked him dead in the eye. "I didn't want to have to resort to blunt threats, but if you don't help me, it'll be _you_ climbing into a taxi this Wednesday," she warned him darkly. "You're in this now. There's no going back. You belong to me."

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, and Texas.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **weeaboopunk, Guest, StayOuttaMyShed, Anna Blake, ElizabethLifeStone, and Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN!

**aspiringAnimator** - Yaaay, new chapter, within an hour of my deadline! The problem I had with Texas was that he was always a supporting character. He and Alabama always went together; that's when he had the most dialogue. When Alabama went, New York sort of filled the void, but Texas kind of didn't have many lines after that. So I'm kind of relieved he's gone. But he is the last southerner to go, and it's kinda sad to see Team Touchdown go down like this.

Give me some feedback! That's how you maintain a spot on the Special Thanks list up there! Polite compliments, thoughtful critiques, brutal flames - I want it all. I will say that I'm super happy with the feedback this story is getting, though, and the fact that people are actually taking their time to read through this rambly garbage. We're nearing the end, so everything counts now!

Oh, yeah! I've started up a new fic, titled "Noah's Brilliant Solution". It's my Secret Santa gift for ewisko, and focuses on what would happen if Heather was voted off the night that LeShawna went down because of a technicality. Mainly Heather/Cody centric. If you like my writing, give it a read! I can promise you guys that The Fifty State Roadtrip comes first, of course.


	45. Deadlock

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - **(**Arizona and Virginia**)**, **(**Hawaii, North Dakota, and Oregon**)**, Massachusetts, and South Dakota.

**EPISODE 44: DEADLOCK**

_"So... let's stay _united_. If we're not in on this together, then our time on the show is over. Remember that." - Virginia_

**Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014. San Angelo, Texas. 10:26 AM.**

Texas. That enormous, absolutely _boundless_ state of possibility, extending from the Gulf of Mexico all the way to the plains of the west. Often referred to as "The America of America", the huge state represents the very core of the concept of Manifest Destiny; America's inevitability in its relentless march to the Pacific. It's a state of history, of politics, and of deep-fried _everything_. It took the bus every minute of the three days required to get down to Texas, all the way from New York. In fact, when Wednesday had arrived, they weren't even at their destination yet.

Oregon sat quietly crocheting himself some mittens, while North Dakota and Hawaii sat side by side on the bunk opposite. Hawaii seemed to be trying very hard to be cool for North Dakota, who didn't seem to share the same attraction. When Hawaii wasn't looking, North exchanged her romantic, seductive facial expression for a more bored, analytic one. To any onlooker, it was obvious that this relationship was one-sided, but Hawaii either didn't notice or didn't care - he was with the hottest _and_ the most important girl on the show. This had to get him some fans.

On the whole, Oregon was much more withdrawn than he had been over the last few weeks. Since Texas's elimination, he's mostly stayed by himself, avoiding speaking to anyone except those he explicitly trusted. As the show went on, air in the bus grew ever-more tense - this was to be expected, of course - but something else was in the air. A sort of lingering fear. Everyone remaining on the show was absolutely terrified of the future; even North Dakota was, to a degree. They were only kids, after all. The most responsibility any of them had ever faced so far in their lives was remembering to take out the trash.

Massachusetts wandered down the halls of the show's bus, bored out of his mind. As he went, he peeked inside each of the rooms, most of which were empty. Within moments, he came across North Dakota and Oregon's bunk room, and glanced in.

North Dakota and Hawaii sat beside each other on the bed; Hawaii seemed incredibly pleased with himself at that moment. North Dakota was just reading a magazine, wearing a bored expression, and Oregon knitted away, reluctant to say anything at all. Massachusetts grimaced, and stepped away from the room.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_207_mp3**

"I don't know what I saw in Hawaii and Oregon anymore. Hawaii's just an opportunistic bastard who just latches onto whoever he thinks is going to win. Oregon's turning into one of North Dakota's sheep already. The only reason I was even in the Team Science alliance was because of Washington, I think. And this kind of stinks, too, it means that I don't want to be friends with any of the remaining guys on the show. That's really depressing when you think about it."

Massachusetts

**10:28 AM.**

He staggered back down the hall and into the main living area, where Arizona and Virginia sat on the couch, watching the news. South Dakota seemed to be making toast. Massachusetts approached the two girls, cleared his throat a little haltingly, and stammered, "I want to join your alliance."

The room went silent. Virginia and Arizona exchanged glances. "Um, okay," Virginia allowed, giving Massachusetts a curious stare. "I'm guessing you're not gonna follow in your friends' footsteps? I'm not really surprised." Arizona gave Massachusetts an approving nod, and remarked, "You'll do fine, Massachusetts. I'm glad there's _someone_ else here who opposes her as much as we do. Really, we shouldn't just _roll over_ and let the bad guy win."

Massachusetts nodded vehemently, sitting down beside the two girls. "Her tactics are just so... _dirty_," he went on to say, gesturing passionately. "It's deplorable. Right now, I think she's trying to _seduce_ Hawaii or whatever into getting him to support her. I think it's working. And ever since Oregon got on his side, he's been too much of a chicken to back down any."

"She's good, that's for sure..." Virginia mumbled, leaning back and gazing up at the small television screen. "Definitely better than a Heather. Maybe even better than an Alejandro, if she keeps playing her cards like this. I really think we need to be more wary here against her. She's going to do everything she can to stay in the game."

The three sat in silence for a moment. The grim reality of the game spread before their very eyes; the one with sheer determination to win; the desperation of the ones clinging to the powerful; the quiet, yet strong-willed ones in their opposition to immorality; and the indecision of the one forced to choose between the bonds of blood and the bonds of morality.

"I'm never doing this again," Arizona suddenly muttered quietly, drawing nods from the others. The revulsion of partaking in such a morally-bankrupt show had begun to reach its climax; the very concept that the reward for all their effort was money, fame, and power seemed... wrong. The three teens had their own, separate reasons for competing in the show, but the fact that it all boiled down to worthless money was repulsive to them. That moment is one that would be ingrained in their minds; that slow realization of the true nature of this show, serving only to harden their opposition to North Dakota.

**11:40 AM.**

"I didn't like the angle in that shot..." Chris decided, turning his cheek every-which-way towards the camera and staring into a mirror. "Let's try again. But, um - ooh - turn the camera to get my head in front of that tree over there, so it looks like we're not in the middle of a parking lot. Can you do that? Sweet. Alright... take four... tell me when..."

A bearded college intern gave Chris the thumbs up, prompting Chris to turn to the camera and smile boldly. "My name is Chris McLean!" he yelled, flashing those pearly whites. "And you're watching The Fifty State Roadtrip on CampTV: right here, right now! Only seven contestants remain... but in thirty minutes, your time, only six will remain. Who's gonna be taking the fall today? What tribulations will the contestants face, and will the two alliances _continue_ to drift apart? Find out on: The Fifty State Roadtrip!"

He stood for a few more seconds, smiling blankly at the camera, when the intern frowned. "Eh, I think we didn't have the audio recorded..." the intern murmured, gesturing to the guy who held the audio boom. Chris groaned, and checked his watch. "Whatever. We'll take it again after the challenges," Chris said, walking towards the bus. "I need to get these kids going. Like, now. Contestants! Come on out, we need to get started on the challenge."

The interns began moving their equipment into positions for the challenge as the seven boys and girls stepped out of the bus. "Hello, kids!" Chris greeted, clapping his hands together eccentrically. "This is going to be a fun challenge. For me, anyways. Maybe not so much for you guys. Can any of you tell me where we are?"

It seemed to be a hypothetical question, because Chris immediately exclaimed, "Texas! What a state, huh? Took us days to get here. Anyways. About the challenge today. The _producers_ seem to think having 'scavenger hunts' and 'water balloon fights' are much more fun for the show. But you know what? I've been thinking... and I say that _you kids_ get off _easy_. Those aren't really even very physical challenges! Which is why today is _all physical_. It is Texas, after all. Only the strong survive."

He pointed at a large football field past the parking lot. A large asphalt track surrounded it. "Today is a track day!" he yelled smugly. "When I was a lad, I was _forced_ to do cross-country. Not a fun time. A lot of running. _So_, I'm taking out the trauma I experienced on you kids in a vain effort to preserve my childhood memories in a trope that's as old as time itself. I'm partnering you kids up into groups of two, with no regards for alliances or anything like that. Let's see... Virginia and Oregon? You're a group."

Oregon and Virginia stood a ways from the others, as Oregon tentatively asked, "Um... why exactly are we being partnered up?"

"Because you'll all have different tasks!" Chris explained. "Next up is Massachusetts and Hawaii! The two of you will be 'working together'. And the last group is gonna be Arizona and South Dakota. Alright. There will be several different tasks, depending on your group! I will personally award points based on who I think does the best. No three judges this time!"

"Wait, hold on," interrupted North Dakota, glancing around with a rather presumptuous glare. "Why aren't I in a group? What gives?"

"Oh!" cried Chris, as he was evidently reminded of something. "That's right. It's because we have seven contestants. That doesn't divide up evenly. Okay? Okay. So North Dakota's gonna be doing a challenge on her own. Which I have _specifically_ picked out _just for her_. So that'll be fun, I guess." He then looked to the camera crew, who seemed all ready for filming. "Okay! Let's have South Dakota and Arizona go first. They're doing... the _high jump!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_208_mp3**

"Okay, disclaimer here, because I was never, um... very athletic back home. Ever, really. So... if it seems like I performed badly in the challenge, well - I'm just not good at sports, okay? A lot of people aren't, and personally I think it's unfair of Chris to suddenly give us a physical challenge when most of us... aren't very athletic. That's all I'm saying."

South Dakota

**11:45 AM.**

South Dakota gulped visibly as Chris pointed at a huge structure nearby, on the field. Two large cushions sat on both sides of a tall metal bar. It looked like a pull-up bar made for giants. "At least, I _think_ it's called the high jump!" Chris added, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Whatever. There's a pole right on the ground you can use to do this with. If you don't try, you get no points. But remember, the contestant with the most points at the end of the day gets invincibility! How cool is that?"_  
><em>

It really didn't seem that cool. This was just the same old routine the contestants had been going through for the past few weeks. When nobody responded, Chris huffed a little, and violently pointed at the pole vaulting contraption. "Well, Arizona and South Dakota, if you two are going to be doing it, then get moving," he ordered, irritation beginning to show in his expression. "Otherwise, I might as well just do the others' challenges so we can save time."

"No, no, I'll do it!" South protested, though it seemed she wasn't entirely sure. "I'll... um... I'll do the high jump... but I think this is called a pole vault, not a high jump. Because of the pole."

Chris waved away her concerns about the terminology, and merely pointed at the pole vault with increasing fervor. "Go on, South Dakota!" cheered Chris, breaking into a big smile. It appeared that he was most excited about seeing what would happen if South Dakota failed horribly. "You can do it!"

South Dakota lined herself up with the cushions, and nervously picked up one end of the long, bendable pole. "Um... here goes," she pointed out somewhat unnecessarily, and began running with the pole, completely unaware of how pole vaulting actually worked. She stuck the other end into the ground as soon as she was almost at the high, metal bar, causing her to be flung upwards, letting go of the pole; a long, drawn-out shriek, and then-

FWUMP. South landed face first on the cushion. She didn't even make it to the other side, let alone to the height required to reach the high bar. Chris shook his head dissatisfactorily, clicking his tongue in the process. "Wow. That was really, really pathetic," he bluntly stated as South Dakota groaned, pulling herself up off the ground. "But probably really good for ratings!" he continued. "South Dakota, I award you four points out of ten, just because that was funny as hell. Hah. Arizona, you wanna go?"

Arizona hesitated in her response, eyeing the pole vault. "I... _think_ I get how it works," she stated, scratching the back of her head. "But don't laugh at me if I mess up horribly, or go flying _miles_ away from where I'm supposed to be..."

"No promises!" Chris told her, as Arizona lined up for her pole vault. "Here goes, I guess!" Arizona breathed, acting as though she actually had this under control. She grasped the pole firmly, lined it up, and began to run, ready to stick it in the ground right at the perfect moment; she leaped, jammed it into the ground, and was catapulted upwards, soaring high, tumbling madly through the air only to-

Arizona came with a crash onto the mat, tumbling not-so-gracefully on the other side. However, she _did_ make it over the pole, despite spending most of her time in the air flailing wildly and screaming. Chris seemed incredibly surprised; this was the challenge that he predicted everyone would fail at. "Wow!" he yelled, clapping his hands together. "That was - huh - not bad at all! Good job, Arizona! I'm really impressed, to be perfectly honest. I'll give you... just seven points, because that could've been a _little_ more graceful, in my opinion."

A stunned expression overtook Arizona's face, as Massachusetts congratulated her and Virginia gave her a high five. "But we've still got like five more contestants to go!" Chris reminded them all sternly. "So don't get too excited. Okay. So... we've got South Dakota with four points, and Arizona with seven. Let's have Virginia and Oregon go up next. You two will be doing the _long jump!_"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_209_mp3**

"I did _cross-country_. Not track. Cross-country is completely different. So - yeah, I do sports, but not track! And not jumpin' over giant pits of sand just to go the farthest. I don't even see what's so useful about a skill like _jumping_. No offense, obviously."

Virginia

**12:01 PM.**

Needless to say, the long jump wasn't much of a success for either of them, and Chris was judging based on distance. Oregon ended up getting only three points, surprisingly putting him in last place to everyone else. Virginia wasn't much better, though she _did_ leap farther, thus netting her six points in total. Not enough to beat Arizona, but it was still an impressive performance nonetheless. By the time the next challenge was meant to begin, noon had passed. Chris checked his watch with a frown, and then peeked at his clipboard of names. To this day, each and every contestant was certain that clipboard was the only reason he knew all of their names. "Okay!" Chris exclaimed, looking up and smiling once more. "Just three more... Hawaii, North Dakota, and Massachusetts! Since I want to save some kind of competition for last, let's have North Dakota come on up."

North stepped forward, suspiciously eyeing Chris. "Last weekend, North Dakota won invincibility!" he informed the cameras. "Immediately afterwards, thousands of fans took to social media to protest this turn of events, because everyone _hates_ this girl. No one knows why she's so hated! It is a mystery, and one that may never be solved. It is, perhaps, the Ultimate Riddle."

Chris was clearly babbling at this point, extending air time for as long as possible to make up for a lack of competitors. "So, the producers have been pushing for me to give you an _extra_ tough challenge today!" Chris revealed, grinning maliciously. "And that is _absolutely_ fine with me. North Dakota, you're going to be jumping _hurdles!_"

That didn't sound so bad. Chris pointed along the track, where about ten hurdles had been lined up, each one increasing in height. However... towards the back, they grew to impossible heights. The very last one was taller than Chris himself. North Dakota raised an eyebrow, and flatly said, "This is a joke. Some of those are impossible."

"I _know_," Chris said with an amused chuckle. "So! Are you going to do it? Or... are you a _chicken?_ Bawk!"

North Dakota drew herself away from Chris after he began making chicken noises. "Yeah, of _course_ I am," she muttered, lining up with the hurdles. "I just need... to, um... get my footing and all that. Yeah." Everyone watched as North began charging forward, hopping easily over the first one; the goal in sight at all times. She sped faster, having decent athletic ability to a small extent; at least, more than some of the other contestants. North Dakota hopped over some of the higher hurdles, taking much more caution with these taller ones, but it wasn't long before-

In one of her jumps, North Dakota flipped forward, slamming straight onto the ground. "Oh - _fuck!_" she screamed, legs entangled with the hurdle. "God _damn it!_"

"Watch the language, there, sailor!" Chris warned, jogging up to greet her. "Does it - _hah_ - does it _hurt-le?_"

Chris began shaking with the giggles from his own little pun. North Dakota rolled her eyes, dusted herself off, and muttered, "Lemme guess. Two points. One point. Whatever point allotment will make some of the more _pretentious_ fans feel a little better about themselves. Oooh, they taught _me_ a lesson!"

"I'm giving you five points, just because you're a decent sport about it all," said Chris, still grinning bemusedly. "But that still puts Arizona in first place! She's not doing so badly in the end." All of a sudden, Hawaii ran up, staring first at the toppled hurdle and then at North Dakota's bruised condition. "Yo, Chris, that's not cool!" Hawaii yelled, glaring at him. "She could be seriously hurt!"

Chris just stared at Hawaii. "Uh. Look at her. She's fine," he said, pointing nonchalantly at North Dakota. "Don't get your panties in such a twist. This is her allotted punishment for being a terrible person. People online told us to do this to her." Hawaii's face contorted to that of outrage, and he yelled, "That's still _not cool!_ Let her go again, an' actually make the challenge _fair_ this time. You gotta."

"Still not _entirely_ sure why you're supporting this girl," Chris muttered, clicking his tongue. "Not a smart move on your part, Hawaii. Don't you remember what happened three months ago? It's like you've completely forgotten about that challenge. I mean - _I_ wasn't there, but I _heard_ North Dakota _almost_ killed somebody..."

Hawaii's face lit up in apparent recollection, but he resumed his hardened, stoic expression immediately thereafter. "We've _all_ misjudged North Dakota," he said determinedly. North was gazing at him with a sort of stupefied awe. "She's not as bad as everyone says. And - yeah, she's done bad _things_ before - but we all have! And she apologized, don't you remember-"

"I'm not having this conversation!" Chris decided, and waved for the other contestants to approach. "We need to get on with this stuff. Hawaii, you seem eager - ready to face off against Massachusetts in... a _race?_"

"A what?" Massachusetts asked, walking beside South Dakota and looking curiously at Chris. "I heard someone say my name." Chris wheeled around to face Massachusetts, and yelled, "Oh, yes! Massachusetts, _you_ will be facing off against Hawaii in a _race!_ I will be judging you entirely on performance. So... either of you _do_ have a good chance to get immunity, if I deem your performance worthy enough..."

"I'm still confused as to how this is fair," South suddenly piped up. "You're the only judge. You kind of have the _ability_ to choose who wins..."

There was a rather long pause as everyone realized this was true. "Well... _yes,_" Chris acknowledged nervously, avoiding eye contact. "But never mind any of that! I'm the _host_. It's my _job_ to choose who wins! It's, uh... it's completely... fair?" He stood in silence as everyone stared at him doubtfully. "Never mind!" he said again, pointing at the track. "Hawaii and Massachusetts, the two of you are due to face off in a _race_. You're both guys - reasonably athletic. Or something. All you have to do is go around the track once. The first one back here will probably get the most points."

"Does this render my pole vaulting completely worthless now?" Arizona asked hollowly. Chris shrugged. "If these two boys are absolutely terrible at running, then definitely," he assured her. "I want to see them go before I make any judgments, though. Are we ready to start? Because this is a relatively simple challenge coming up."

Nods from Massachusetts and Hawaii. A shrug from Chris, and then the yell, "Alright! Get ready, you two. I want to see some _hustle_. Imagine you're back in school, forced to do cross-country for your demanding father who just won't understand that you want to do drama instead. But your father _insists_ that you do cross-country, and he says it'll help your character, but what does _he_ know about running a show and being famous? Did _he_ get on the cover of Forbes magazine? I don't think so."

Chris seemed to be finished ranting, as he breathed out, and pointed vaguely at the track. "Oh, you two can begin the challenge, by the way," Chris muttered. And just like that, Massachusetts and Hawaii were off.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_210_mp3**

"Okay, see, I know North Dakota's not _that_ into me. She's just in it for my good looks! And who can blame her, really? But I gotta show her that I'm _strong_. That I'm a _dude_ who can seriously pick up his A-game here. And... who _cares_ if I'm goin' up against Massachusetts? I never knew him _before_ Team Science..."

Hawaii

**12:26 PM.**

"Agh..." Massachusetts gasped, footsteps thudding along the slightly springy, asphalt track around the football field of wherever they were. Hawaii was just a few steps behind him, so there was no way he was going to give up just then. Biting cool wind blasted into his face as he ran forward, muscles aching, desperate for oxygen - but he couldn't stop now, he wasn't even halfway around the track yet - sitting in a bus for seventy-five percent of the last five months _really_ doesn't help your physical condition...

"C'mon, Massachusetts, keep up!" Hawaii yelled as he gradually overtook him. "Don't you wanna win immunity?" Massachusetts balled his hands up into fists, and sprinted faster, eager to beat Hawaii. Hawaii heard the quickening pace behind him, and sped up accordingly as well, sensing a challenge. "I'm sorry, bro!" Hawaii yelled, grinning as they approached the three-fourths line. "You can't get _past me!_"

Massachusetts pushed himself to run harder, going against every instinct that said otherwise. With a new, much more rigorous determination, he sprinted forwards, lurching the entirety of his body weight ahead in order to gain momentum. The track began to curve again, as Chris and the others watched the two boys in awe.

"I can't even tell who's winning..." Arizona murmured worriedly, shielding her eyes from the sun with a flat open hand. "It kind of looks like Massachusetts is getting faster, but Hawaii's in the lead... Virginia, what do you think...?" But lo and behold, there was little time for Virginia to voice her opinion, because in just a few more seconds the boys came running through; Hawaii just _feet_ ahead of Massachusetts, who seemed to be gasping for air. "_Agh!_" Massachusetts cried, slowing to a stop and bending over, hands on his knees, coughing. "_Fuck._ Ugh. Crap... Chris, _please_ be fair in your point-giving. Don't be a Dumbledore."

"Hawaii beat Massachusetts!" Chris announced, ignoring Massachusetts's plea. "And because that was actually pretty _good_ of him... I'm awarding Hawaii _eight points_, and Massachusetts seven! You both did really well. I'm not gonna stretch the truth on that." Hawaii whooped, clapped his hands, and pumped his fist into the air. "Aw _yeah!_" he cried ecstatically. "North! Hah! Didja see how fast I ran? Didja? Because I went frickin' _zoom_, like a... um..."

North Dakota wasn't paying attention to him; she'd already seen the challenge ending, and knew everything that going to happen. In fact, she'd taken aside Oregon to speak with him for a few moments; the kid looked terrified of her. "...oh," Hawaii mumbled, gazing solemnly at North Dakota. "I... I won, North. I got immunity."

No response; either she didn't hear him, or she didn't have the time to listen to him. Crestfallen, Hawaii trudged away, as Chris stood before the cameras once more. "Well, there you have it, viewers!" he exclaimed, smiling charmingly. "Hawaii has won immunity. But what about the contestants? Who will be in the final six? More importantly, which of these _won't?_ Find out... after the break!"

The camera shut off, as Chris sighed in relief. "Finally..." he mumbled. "Alright. Back on the bus, kids. Figure out who you're voting for this time, we've kind of got a long drive this time until we get to the voting ceremony location. I'm ready to get down to the _finalists._"

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_211_mp3**

"Hmph. Oregon's telling me that Massachusetts isn't neutral anymore. Word spreads fast. So... if he's going to support those good-for-nothing girls from back in Team Fabulous, then he goes down with them. I never even saw any potential in that kid. And really, I should have gotten off Arizona and Virginia _long_ before tonight. But whatever. I command enough votes to make this a cake walk. First, we take off Virginia, my biggest adversary. If we're really lucky, that'll just completely demolish the alliance, like when I kicked off Washington. Then goes Arizona, and then Massachusetts. I ditch Oregon, and kick off Hawaii in the final three, making it me versus my sister in the finale. And we're on the same side. So I've basically won at that point."

North Dakota

**3:58 PM.**

"I think we have a good enough chance to take out North Dakota," Virginia said slowly, facing Arizona and Massachusetts in the security of her bunk room. "And if we don't do this _now_, then we might not get another chance like this. All we have to do is make sure South doesn't vote with her sister. Or Oregon. North thinks her power extends far, but it really doesn't. Not everyone supports her."

"You can say _that_ again..." Massachusetts muttered quietly. "So we're seriously doing this? We're voting her off?"

Virginia shrugged, and Arizona reasoned, "Why not? The three of us are obviously going to vote together. And... we _know_ that South doesn't necessarily support her sister. She might not vote with her. And Oregon's kind of in limbo - and he's a good kid, I remember him - so he's a possibility too. But I know that this is our _last chance_ to take her out. Oh, wow... imagine if North Dakota was _actually_ out of the game. Do you know how less stressful our lives would be? We could just compete against people we _like_."

"A day without North Dakota..." Virginia repeated quietly. "That's... I've never even considered it. You're right, she _should_ go tonight. And we have the power to do this. If we can do this _now_, then the rest of the _game_ is open to us."

"Well, girls, don't forget, North Dakota knows this," Massachusetts warned. "By now, she's surely worked out that I'm working with you guys. And I think she might be voting against you first, Virginia. So everyone's votes will be directed at you."

Virginia blinked, expression growing distant. "Oh..." she mumbled in a quiet voice. "Wow. I didn't realize the stakes were so high. Well - all the more reason to oppose North Dakota, right? I mean, I'm _with_ you guys on this. If I go down, then this alliance won't be able to survive. So... let's stay _united_. If we're not in on this together, then our time on the show is over. Remember that."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_212_mp3**

"Okay... so, as far as I can tell, it's three against three. I heard Massachusetts say he was going to join the girls... and North Dakota's got _her_ followers, as usual... so that's a tie. Except for the fact that there's seven people. And I'm the odd one out... so... do I get to choose between them? I mean - I'm not going to vote for my sister, of _course_, but... things would be so much more... er, never mind - I didn't say anything, it's just... I don't know. I'm not sure who to vote for at all."

South Dakota

**6:59 PM.**

"Evening, kids!" Chris greeted as seven contestants took their seats on the still-warm asphalt of a parking lot outside a Piggly Wiggly's. "Turn in your votes _right_ in this hat here so I can count them up, which... might take a few minutes. It usually does. Oh, and remember, guys, no-"

"No cheating," everyone repeated monotonously. Chris raised an approving, smug eyebrow as he started to count the thin slips of paper. "Terrific, then," he said, grinning. "Lemme count these up. I'm a little excited already!" For the next few minutes, Chris stood there, making tiny scratches on his clipboard as he usually did. Once finished, his eyebrows did a little jig upon his forehead. "Oh, man, this is going to be _very_ interesting," he said, grinning malevolently as Chef stood nearby, serving only to enhance his menacing nature. "I love it when this happens. Alright. When I call your name, you get a snack! The contestant who _doesn't_ get a snack goes _home_, and will get in seventh place in the show. Not too shabby when you really think about it. A lot of contestants dream of getting this far."

Chris shrugged after a brief moment of pondering. "Arizona!" he yelled, throwing some Fritos. "No votes. Hawaii! Also no votes, due to your immunity. Massachusetts, _you_ get no votes - but you _do_ get a handful of tootsie rolls - oh, stop _blushing_, that wasn't suggestive. Last but not least, South Dakota! You get no votes."

Interestingly enough, this left North Dakota, Oregon, and Virginia. "The three of you got at least one vote each!" Chris shouted, smirking. "So one of you are going home tonight. But who? Well... the person that's safe is..."

...

...

...

"Oregon! You got _one_ vote!"

There was a gasp. North Dakota whipped her head around, squinting at everyone. "_Shit_..." she muttered lowly, simply adding to the list of words the interns would have to censor out. Chris spent one last moment smiling at them all, and then revealed the fact that he didn't have any more snacks. "It was a _tie!_" he cried. "And you know what happens when _ties_ occur - it means _everyone_ has the potential of getting kicked off! Except for Hawaii. He's safe. The _die_, Chef!"

"My pleasure," Chef grunted, handing Chris a grubby die. "I decided to switch it up with tonight's random elimination!" Chris said, smirking. "This die has six sides to it. One side for each contestant. Each of you will claim a side, and then I will roll it just _once_. Whichever side it lands on... _that_ person goes home. Sound like fun?"

Nobody quite knew what to think of it, frankly. Only a few of them had ever taken part in a random elimination; Oregon, Massachusetts, Hawaii, and Virginia were the only ones with experience. And this was different from every other random elimination the show had had. Suddenly, Chris pointed fiercely at Oregon, and yelled, "Pick a side!"

"Um... six," Oregon decided a little hesitantly. "Same number as the number of letters in my state's name..."

"Three. It's my lucky number," Arizona said instantaneously.

"Four," Virginia merely muttered, eyeing the dice suspiciously.

"One!" North Dakota boomed, glaring at Chris for this turn in events, and still trying to work out who'd voted for Oregon.

"Two?" South whispered, craning to get a better look at the tiny die. Massachusetts shrugged, and said, "I guess I'm having five, then."

"Awesome!" Chris yelled, and knelt down to the pavement. "Like I said. I'm only rolling this once, so that nobody's allowed to cry false or anything like that. Whichever number this lands on goes home. I'm not going to interfere at all. So... here _goes_..."

The die was thrown up in the air; rotating slowly, as if time had stopped; moonlight glinting off one edge, cascading into the tiny grooves and bumps of the toy. A second passed; it began its slow, definitive descent towards the pavement, and landed with a clatter on a...

...

...

...

Three solemn, pitch-black dots faced up. About five full seconds passed in the cool Texan evening with nobody reacting at all. At the very end of the five seconds, Arizona breathed out slowly. "Oh..." she whispered.

"Sorry, Arizona!" Chris cried, smiling to see the conflict resolved. "You're going _home!_ Sucks to be you! Hah! Go pack up your stuff and get out of here." Arizona stood up straight, defiance in her eyes, yet with a distinctive, defeated posture. "Girl, you _deserved to win_," Virginia muttered, taking Arizona in for a tight embrace. "You're just about the nicest girl _on _this show. Your heart's in the right place, Arizona. I'm gonna miss you."

Arizona nodded slowly, returning the hug as best she could, closing her eyes. "Virginia, you _win this thing_," she whispered thickly. "I mean it. You _deserve it _ the _most_ out of _everyone_. Never forget your values, and keep your friends close. Can you do that?"_  
><em>

Virginia pulled back a little, and gazed into Arizona's eyes. "Honey, I've been doin' that the entire game," she said simply. "It's what I do best. Arizona? You made me real proud."

"Right back at you."

Arizona sighed, letting go of Virginia, and surveying the rest of the six contestants. "Bye, Oregon," she said with a small, sad smile. Oregon seemed to be in deep distress over the night's events; seeing Arizona go like this was just... sad. Depressing, even. He waved erratically after wiping away the water in his eyes, and croaked, "Yeah... bye, Arizona. You were really nice to me."

She smiled, and gave Massachusetts a hug, too. North Dakota started to roll her eyes at this point; this whole Arizona "going away party" was beginning to drone on longer than it should have, in her mind. Nevertheless, within moments, Arizona was ready to retrieve her bag from the bus. "Try not to get too caught up in the tabloids!" Chris advised, as Arizona retreated to the bus to get her things. "That is a road you do _not_ want to go down. Trust me. I've been there."

As Arizona lugged her suitcase down the steps of the bus, North Dakota was frantically trying to figure out who'd voted for Oregon. It couldn't possibly have been Oregon himself - and it was unlikely to be Hawaii - which left-

North Dakota stood before her sister, face several inches higher than her sibling's. "South?" North asked quietly, yet forcefully. "Why the _fuck_ did you vote for Oregon?"

South backed away slightly; nobody else was seeing this happen, as everyone seemed to be preoccupied with wishing Arizona a happy departure. "I - I don't really, uh - know what you're talking about?" South Dakota said, though the last few syllables turned into a question. North Dakota narrowed her eyes, and shoved her sister. "You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about," she muttered lowly. "You fucking insubordinate. You _know_ Oregon is on our side. We could have taken out Virginia just then. But _you_ had to maintain neutrality, and voted for Oregon."

"It's called voting for a _reason!_" South harshly whispered back, glancing at the other contestants, who hadn't noticed the two. "Voting means - means having freedom in what you vote for, and - and it means not being judged if you don't _want_ to vote for-"

North gave South Dakota another shove, almost sending her toppling. "Wake _up!_" North seethed. "We are in a _game show!_ There _is_ no democracy! You vote with _me,_ and that's _final_. You don't pick it yourself. You vote with your _sister_. I mean, who would you choose, if you saw your sister and someone who's practically a _stranger_, burning in a house fire? You'd save your _sister!_"

South Dakota didn't respond, merely continuing to back away in fear. People were beginning to notice the two now. "I - North, please-"

"_Answer me! _You're supposed to support your _sister!_"

"_NO!_"

...

South seemed more surprised than North that she'd said that. North stared at her sister. For the first time in their lives, they stood as distinct entities separate from each other; no longer the duo of Team Dakota. For the first time, South Dakota was speaking her mind. And that fact terrified North Dakota.

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, Texas, and Arizona.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** Guest, StayOuttaMyShed, Anna Blake, Winkie4, and Ali6132!

**aspiringAnimator** - And Arizona is out of here! Home run! Right out of the park. Did you know she wasn't intended to get this far? Initially, she was only going to get past the first merge, and that was it, but... she's one of my favorite characters to write for. She's always been the voice of compassion, whether that's helping Alaska through her problems with heat, or in opposing an unjust elimination of Louisiana. But, with Arizona's elimination, only six contestants remain! Who are you rooting for? Lemme know with the poll on my profile! That's still a thing. It still exists. Twenty-two votes! Not bad.

Sorry about the pretty late chapter. I've been really busy with a lot of my classes; we're nearing finals, and I didn't get to write much of this chapter before today, so... mainly I've just been in front of my computer for the past five hours. I still made my deadline within ten minutes, though! It's eleven PM! Oh, and I was planning to do a deeply physical challenge for Texas the whole time. Originally, it was gonna be a football game, but... I'm not sure how that would work with just seven people? I should have done one earlier. Like, Team Freedom versus Team Fabulous. I should've done that.

I gotta go before I miss my deadline. I haven't missed a single one yet, but this one is pushing it. Anyways, I'll see you guys this weekend, where we'll take it down to just _five _contestants. I'm a little alarmed at how quickly this is all wrapping up. Really, I could give victory to any one of these contestants. I might just change it last minute just for funzies. Or not! You never know. That is the magic of aspiringAnimator: perpetual confusion as to what is going on.


	46. Truth or Dare

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - **(**Massachusetts and Virginia**)**, **(**Hawaii, North Dakota, and Oregon**)**, and South Dakota.

**EPISODE 45: TRUTH OR DARE**

_"Someone who's afraid of the truth has something to hide..." - South Dakota_

**Sunday, December 7th, 2014. Phoenix, Arizona. 8:27 AM.**

Six remained. The past five months on the show had led up to this moment; when contestants left and right were being booted as the series rapidly approached its end. What once seemed like a faraway, eventual and inevitable destination now appeared as a threat, inching closer and closer by the minute. The finale would quite literally be taking place within two weeks. But despite the fact that the show's end was nearing, the drama contained within certainly wasn't. Two alliances continued to oppose each other vehemently until the death, and everyone seemed fairly intent upon winning the show.

A solitary bus crossed the New Mexican border into Arizona, baking under a dry, hot sun, despite the winter season. Chef remained its driver, slowly growing more and more discontent with the job of driving a bus around the country for a month. As contestants disappeared, living arrangements changed over time; bunk rooms slowly became devoid of people. In fact, Virginia's bunk room, once housing her, Arizona, New York, and Texas, was completely empty now, apart from her, evoking strong memories of her isolation at the end of Team America.

In other areas of the team, however, conflict still hadn't been solved. North Dakota sped through the bus, opening and slamming doors, angrily trying to find-

Oregon. He was sitting on his bed, lying on his stomach, and doodling something. The instant North Dakota burst into the room, he bolted up, wide eyed. "Oh - hi, North - what do you want?" he asked, shrinking away from her. She narrowed his eyes at him. "It's a challenge day," North pointed out somewhat unnecessarily. He nodded slowly and extended his hands as if to say, "And?"

"You're going to vote with me against Virginia," North told him, placing her hands on her hips. "And I'm warning you. I've had too many people around here not voting with me. If you want to stay in the game, then you're _going_ to vote for Virginia."

Oregon drew away from North Dakota glancing her up and down. "You need me," he pointed out, though slightly unsure of it himself. "You, um... you won't have any voters if I don't vote with you." At the sound of that, North Dakota's face contorted to outrage. "Oh, _no_, don't you start getting _ideas_," she hissed. "You think I _need_ votes? Four months ago, I should've been voted off by Minnesota. I_find a way_ to stay in the game, and the second you start disobeying me is the second I kick _you_ off. I control the game, Oregon."

He set down his pencil, and sat up to stare at her with an apprehensive expression. "But we're friends..." he pointed out quietly. "The two of us wanted retribution for how Washington got voted off. And we got it, so... I just really think it should be every man for himself! Why do we have to-"

North interrupted him, groaning. "No. We're not friends," she stated bluntly. "Wake up. _I voted for Washington_. Are you an absolute _idiot_ or something? He specifically _told_ you to watch out for me. I got New York and Texas to vote for Washington. Seriously, it's just been so cringe-inducing watching you flounder around without even knowing that."

Oregon gaped at North Dakota. "Wait... what?" he eventually asked. "You - you _voted for Washington?_ That - _what?_ North, you told me it was New York and Texas!"

She rolled her eyes. "God, just _listening _to you is painful," she muttered. "Yes, I led York and Tex and got them to vote for Washington, just so I wouldn't have to deal with him later. Now grow up. You work for me now. You're going to help me get rid of Virginia and Massachusetts - yes, Massachusetts, don't look so scared - and we're going to the top with Hawaii. Seriously, this isn't that hard. If you stick with me, you'll get to the top. _Don't_ stick with me, and you'll be seeing Washington again faster than you can work out your own sexuality. Which apparently took a _really_ long time."_  
><em>

He stood up from the bed, and took a step away from her, almost bumping into the thin bus wall. "I can't _believe you!_" he cried. "You were just _using me?_ So - what, you were just using me to get rid of New York and Texas, is that it? Unbelievable... y'know, I wanted to defend you. I thought you were different on the inside than what everybody thought. But it turns out that - I was _wrong!_"

A small huff from North Dakota. "Oregon, we're _smarter_ than all the others," she told him, despite having just told him that he was an idiot. "You and me. We're not _like_ them-"

"Screw you!" he yelled back, making a move to leave. "I don't care about your - your _manipulation_ - you can just find another alliance member! I'm _done_ with you. Everyone was telling me not to trust you, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and look where I am? North, you can go _suck it._"

Oregon stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_213_mp3**

"...damn. That could have gone better. I never expected that kid to stay long, though. But... what am I supposed to do now? Assuming we have a vote tonight, it'll just be Hawaii supporting me. And _maybe_ my sister if she recovers from her _freak out_ the other night. I swear, my alliances are just falling apart. I miss the good old days of Team Dakota. Guess I'll have to go apologize to my stupid sister. _Again._"

North Dakota

**8:32 AM.**

Furious footsteps flopped across flat floorboards out of one of the bunk rooms on the bus, headed for anywhere else. Oregon had on an absolutely pissed, vengeance-ridden expression, which remained on his face even as he barreled into the main room and flopped down on the couch, promptly folding his arms. Massachusetts and Virginia, who were both sitting at the wobbly old kitchen table, exchanged a glance. On the TV, a commercial about some over-hyped expensive water bottle played, though Oregon wasn't watching it at all. The only sound playing through the living quarters was the jingle on the television and the steady hum of a bus headed west. Eventually, Massachusetts cleared his throat, and slowly asked, "Uh... what's the matter... Oregon?"

"North Dakota is a huge jerk..." he mumbled in response, glaring down at the floor. "Ah," Massachusetts responded, looking back to Virginia, who shrugged. "Um... what did she do?"

"She voted for Washington," he simply responded after a huff. "Did she, now?" Virginia asked, as though she didn't already know that. "Huh. That's weird of her. I _never_ would have expected someone like _her_ to vote against him. Hm. So I suppose you don't like her anymore, then?"

"Not particularly!" he concluded, turning his gaze up towards the TV, watching the commercial about water bottles. Again, Massachusetts and Virginia exchanged a glance. "Maybe... you might want to join _our_ alliance?" Massachusetts tentatively asked. Oregon looked up. "Your alliance?" he asked, seeming slightly confused. "Oh. Um... I mean... I don't know. I think I should be on my own."

When nobody responded to that, Oregon quietly added, "It's what Washington would've wanted. He would want me to stay on my own for the rest of the game."

"Oh. That's, uh... that's okay," Virginia said, sighing and stirring her hot chocolate absent-mindedly. "Let us ever know if you change your mind."

Oregon smiled at Virginia, a quiet approval of what she and Massachusetts were doing, but did no more.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_214_mp3**

"I know I'm making a lot of confessionals lately, but there's just so much to talk about. I want to stay on my own. That's the point that I want to make. I mean - it's dangerous, yeah... but... again, it's what Washington would've wanted. He was all about me figuring things out for myself, and getting the option to say no, and to create my own boundaries. So that's what I'm going to do. And if I fail... well, I still get him. So it can't be that bad."

Oregon

**9:44 AM.**

Six apprehensive contestants all exited the one bus, parked in front of a huge, incredibly ornate theater near downtown Phoenix. A warm, mild sun beamed down upon them all, hardly reminiscent of the winter season. Chris stood before them, wearing shades, and accompanied by Chef. "This is the Orpheum Theater!" he told them all, spreading his arms and indicating the large building. "We spent a _looot_ of money to get this place rented out for today. So _you_ kids had better feel grateful. This is basically luxury! And it's going to be necessary for today's challenge, which is gonna be up on a stage."

Massachusetts raised a timid hand, and asked, "Uh... what _is_ today's challenge?" Chris spun around to stare at him, and answered, "Oh, it's a fun one. One we haven't even done before! Er - _technically_, anyways. I think a few of you guys did it way back in August for fun, but this is for the real thing. Follow me!" He gestured, and the six kids followed Chris into the theater. "We did this challenge back on Total Drama Island!" he revealed loudly, walking down a long aisle of seats. Huge paintings adorned the walls of the incredibly luxurious theater, signifying the wealth involved in the rental. "The challenge back on TDI was different, though. Here we go!"

They all climbed on stage. Of course, nobody was in the audience, but it was still a little daunting, standing before all those rows of seats. Six podiums rested on stage, each with its own microphone. Behind them, a large game wheel stood, upon which forty-four pictures were taped: each of a different contestant that'd been voted off the show. "We're doing a game of truth or dare!" Chris revealed, grinning. "Every contestant that's been kicked off was instructed to write a dare and a truth question for each contestant still on the show! There were _no_ restrictions on the dares and questions that could be asked. So, for example, someone like Massachusetts could get a really easy dare from Maine, but someone like North Dakota could get an absolutely _terrible _dare from someone like Minnesota. Or Oklahoma. Or Nebraska. Or California. Or literally _anybody she's wronged in the past._"

He let that statement fester for a few moments, and then clapped his hands together. "Everyone at your podiums so we can begin!" he ordered, grinning with excitement. "This is gonna be a _lot_ of fun."

Each contestant climbed on stage. For some reason, South Dakota seemed to be trying to stay away from her sister as far as possible, as she chose the podium with the most distance. Behind the curtains of the stage, there were surely a wide assortment of unpleasant devices used to facilitate some of the dares. "The rules are simple!" Chris told them. "We start off with South Dakota, who's on the far left for some reason. We spin the wheel, and it lands on some ex-contestant. South Dakota will say either truth or dare, and will get whatever that contestant wrote down for her. If she doesn't do whatever it says, then she goes _home!_ That's right. There will be _no voting tonight._"

Now, this came as a _huge_ shock. It was literally the first challenge without a vote. "_What?_" Virginia cried, slamming her hands on her podium in disgust. "Chris! That's _unfair!_"

"I know!" he replied, smirking. "It's all to make the show _more fun._ And also because I said so. And as long as you do the dare, or answer the truth correctly, then you'll be fine!"

Oregon raised his hand, and asked, "How are you supposed to know whether or not we're telling the truth...?"

A grin from Chris. "Because in each of your podiums is a lie detector!" he revealed. "As you rest your hands on the podium, your pulse is measured. Too high of a pulse... and that means you're lying. It also measures the amount of sweat on your hands. Which is cool. These things are _sort_ of accurate. We'll find out today! South Dakota... if you will?"

Chris walked across the stage, and gripped the spinning wheel. With one long, deft movement, he spun the contraption, eventually landing on...

Nebraska. His big, goofy smile dominated his face in a picture that must have been taken for promotional purposes a few days before the show began, because he was standing in front of the Washington monument in all the pictures under a hot July sun. "Truth," South Dakota said. "Always truth. Someone who's afraid of the truth has something to hide..."

Chris picked up a folded card, cleared his throat, and read in a quiet, high-pitched accent that hardly matched Nebraska's, "_Nebraska here. I really liked your episode back on Wednesday. My truth is this: how many times have you ever gotten into a fight with your sister? If she says dare, I want her to... _yadda-yadda-yadda... okay. Great. South Dakota. What's your answer? Remember to tell the truth!"

South Dakota glanced down at her lie detector, and then back at her sister, who was on the polar opposite side of the stage. "Um..." she began, running her fingers through her short black hair as she thought for a moment. "I mean... we... _sometimes_ fought. Mainly when were were little. I don't think I can count up all the times... and it was about stupid stuff, like who got to feed North's hamster, and fights about the miniature armies she used to make. Once we got into high school, she kind of just started fighting with all the other students instead of me."

North Dakota narrowed her eyes from across the stage, yet didn't say anything. Chris said, "Alright, that's acceptable, South. The lie detector didn't go off or anything, so... you're still in. Next person... Virginia! Right next door. Time to spin." He spun the huge wheel again, which slowly came to a stop on... Iowa, interestingly enough. The utterly insignificant guy who was the second person voted off of Team Dakota. "Truth or dare, Virginia!"

"Dare," Virginia responded, hoping that this guy was rooting for her back home. Chris picked up a tiny, folded slip of paper, and said, "_For whoever 'Virginia' is... her truth... _blah-blah-blah... let's see... ah. Dare. _Virginia's dare is to drink a concoction of random substances... from Chef's kitchen._" Before Virginia knew it, Chef appeared from backstage, grinning deviously and carrying a large pitcher of what appeared to be a green-gray slop. "All I had to do was mix all that kitchen grease up an' put it in a jar!" he yelled, handing over the glass. "Might wanna be careful. There might be a couple o' bugs in there, on account of it festerin' for a few days without a lid."_  
><em>

Virginia jerked her head back, gagged, and suppressed the urge to vomit. "Oh, god..." she muttered, peeking at the sludge. "This is... _disgusting_... Chris, I just have to take one sip, right?"

"Nope!" Chris responded, smile growing wider. "You have to drink the whole thing! All a part of the dare. Unless you want to go _home_, of course..." Virginia gave it another look, and swallowed. "It's for the _money..._" she reminded herself quietly, pinching her nose and lifting the pitcher up to drink it all. Within moments, the glass was empty, leaving only a horridly shuddering Virginia and a guarantee of her continued time on the show. "Alright! Virginia did it!" Chris yelled. "Nice job. Next up is... Massachusetts. Let's do this."_  
><em>

Chris walked up and spun the wheel again, making it land on... California, who stood in the photo waving at the camera, blonde hair tied up in a pony tail back then as she stood in front of the Lincoln Memorial for whatever reason. "Dare," Massachusetts proclaimed, hoping that whatever she had in store for him wouldn't be too bad. Chris unfolded a slip of paper, and said, "_From California: Okay, so, like, Massachusetts is gay, right? I want him to kiss South Dakota on the lips. Those two need to get together. South Dakota needs a guy like him! And I bet he can learn how to be straight. _Blah-blah-blah, alright, good, that sounds like an interesting dare. Massachusetts, your thoughts?"

Massachusetts froze up, and instantly shared a somewhat flustered glance with South Dakota. "Um... I'm not gay, I've said this a million times," he told them. "And I think I told California at one point in the show, too. But... I guess I'm okay with, uh... kissing... South Dakota. I wouldn't, um, argue."

"Do I get extra points, since this is technically a dare for me, too?" South Dakota promptly asked, looking at Chris with an inquiring stare. Chris shook his head sadly, and South sighed. "This is going to be really awkward."

Massachusetts stepped down from his podium, and quietly walked over to South's, nervously rubbing his arm. She stepped down from her own, and walked up to him, a somewhat expectant gleam in her gaze. In one quick moment, he leaned forward and gave a quick peck on the lips, flushing a bright scarlet immediately after. "It looks like they did it," Chris remarked, making a note on his clipboard. "That was a completely unexpected result by everybody. Nobody expected it at all. Alright. Next up is Oregon." Chris spun the wheel once more, which slowly came to a stop on... Texas. "Truth or dare!"

"Truth," he answered quietly, wondering what Texas would give him. Chris cleared his throat, and said, "_Alright, for Oregon? I want him to say the amount of times he's prayed in his life. 'Cause I know his love for dudes is bigger than his love for Jesus. For the dare..._ blah-blah-blah. Oregon! You _have_ to answer to his question. Truthfully."

"The amount of times I've prayed?" Oregon asked, somewhat surprised. "A bunch of times. I'm Christian. I mean... recently I've been kind of preoccupied with the show and all that, but... I'm not irreligious or anything, if that's what he's trying to imply. I'm not sure why people are thinking that."

The lie detector didn't go off. "Good enough, I guess," Chris said, shrugging. "Oregon passed his test. Next up is Hawaii." And just like that, Chris spun the wheel again, landing on...

Minnesota's kind, determined face was selected by the wheel, and Chris pulled out a slip of paper. "Truth or dare!" Chris yelled, already opening it. "Dare," Hawaii responded, smirking. This couldn't be easier. "Your dare is..." Chris began, reading over the slip. "_Minnesota here. I want the guy named Hawaii to take a punch from a girl. Whichever girl is the strongest on the show still. Preferably not North Dakota._" Hawaii seemed skeptical, but otherwise willing to partake in it. "Since Minnesota specifically asked for North Dakota to _not_ be the one to punch Hawaii..." Chris began, looking around. "Ah. Virginia! Come over here and punch Hawaii."

"Where?" she asked, walking up with a fist already raised. Hawaii began to take a few steps back. "Anywhere!" Chris told her, becoming increasingly amused with the situation. "Just don't cause any lasting damage." Virginia, finally ready to deal some damage to North Dakota's alliance, pulled her fist back and outright clocked Hawaii in the face, knocking him back several feet. "Augh! What the _hell?_" he cried, raising a hand to shield his face from any further damage. Virginia smirked smugly, and returned to her podium, resting her hands genially on the wood as if nothing had happened. "You did your dare!" Chris pointed out to Hawaii somewhat unnecessarily. "_Good job._ Next up is North Dakota. Let's see who she's getting the brunt of the pain from!"_  
><em>

He spun the wheel a sixth time, which soon landed upon... Louisiana. She and her New Orleans Saints t-shirt appeared in the small picture, standing below the summer sun of Washington DC months ago. "Dare," North Dakota defiantly declared. At least it wasn't any of her other adversaries. Chris pulled out a card, and read, "_For North Dakota's dare, I want her to hold a python for the rest of the game. That's all she has to do._" North Dakota gaped in horror at the sound of that, and when Chef appeared with a snake wrapped about her arms, she squealed in terror. "_No!_" North cried, backing away. "No, no, no, I-"

"You _don't_ want to do the challenge?" Chris asked, cocking his head to one side. "Because _that's_ an instant elimination, North Dakota. But, if you _insist..._"

"No!" North Dakota cried again, though this time to Chris's warning. "No, I - it's okay, I can do it, just - will it bite me?"

"Little bugger bit me on the _thumb_ a couple o' minutes ago!" Chef barked, showing North Dakota two puncture marks on his finger. "He's real sweet, though. Y'ain't gotta worry 'bout nothin'." Chef slowly transferred the snake to North Dakota, which promptly curled around her biceps like some sort of rope. She shuddered in place, stiffly standing at the podium as she held the snake in shaking hands. "His name is Putin!" Chris told her with an entertained smile. "Oh, this is fun. Alright. Next up is South Dakota again..."

**10:27 AM.**

Each of the six contestants had done at least two dares before anybody cried uncle. Oregon had been asked by Wyoming how many times he "did it" with Washington. Virginia was dared by West Virginia to kiss a picture of him. North Dakota was dared by Idaho to wear handcuffs for the entire rest of the day. This was only made worse by the fact that Putin was incredibly intent upon slithering down to her hands and getting caught between the handcuffs.

"Alright, nice, North Dakota!" Chris yelled, as she shuffled back to her podium, wearing the handcuffs as Putin blinked in contentment. "You did it. That means... the second round is over! You kids are stronger than you look. This brings us back to... _South Dakota._ Fun. Time to spin again!"

He spun the wooden gameshow-esque wheel, which clacked along until it slowly came to a rest on... Tennessee. Chris whipped out a card, as South Dakota quietly mumbled, "Truth. Again." Chris grinned, and said, "_For South Dakota: List everybody you've ever had a crush on in your life. Also, go Virginia! That wasn't part of the truth, by the way. Oh, and for the dare..._ blah-blah-blah okay, let's go. South, what's your response? Make sure not to trigger the lie detector..."

South Dakota's eyes widened; if her pulse sped up too much during this, she might get outright booted. "Uhmmm..." she mumbled, scratching the back of her head, and adjusting one of her pigtails. "I guess... I mean, I haven't really... well, only back in before the show. There was a boy from, um... back in third grade, and he gave me a dandelion, and he was so nice. His name was Joshua."

The lie detector didn't go off at all. Chris raised his eyebrows. "Is that all?" he asked, somewhat skeptical. "Because I can overrule what the lie detector says if I feel like it. Don't be lying to me, South. Have you liked anybody else on the show? I mean, you _just kissed Massachusetts..._"

"As part of the _dare!_" she protested, blushing furiously. "That wasn't - I didn't even get a choice - I mean, he's - ugh - can we move onto the next person? I answered the question... and the lie detector didn't go off..." Chris huffed, crossing his arms. "Fine," he muttered. "Y'know, you kids are no fun sometimes. That's all I've been thinking to myself this entire season. I say to myself, 'These kids aren't nearly as fun as the ones I _used_ to have!'"

He spun the wheel again, as it was now Virginia's turn. With the last few turns, it finally landed on Michigan, the black-haired smiling fellow from the early days of Team America. "Truth," Virginia confidently said, eyeing the card Chris was unfolding. "Michigan's dare is..." he began, "_I want Virginia to list every single person she hated from back in Team America. No lying or making omissions._ That cool with you, Virginia?"

She gulped, and thought back to those months. "Wow... that was ages ago," she murmured. "Hm. I guess I'd have to start with, um... West Virginia. He was just really creepy. No offense to him, of course, but... still. And Kentucky. He was just kind of weird. As for Ohio, I don't think I hated him... but he did sort of deserve what he got in the end. The only other person I didn't like from that team was Illinois at that point. And that's just because of how rude he acted. But that's all."

That was a pretty hefty list for such a small, polite "That's all" at the end. "Uh... okay!" Chris said, raising his eyebrows again. "That's interesting. I'm pretty sure some of those people supported you in the second Aftermath, but whatever. Next up is Massachusetts. Let's see who _you_ get." Chris walked up to the wheel, and spun. It was a good few rotations before it inevitably, incredibly landed on...

...New York. Of course. Massachusetts inwardly groaned, and defeatedly muttered, "Dare," as Chris pulled out a slip of paper, and read, "_York here. For Massachusetts's dare, I want him to get tased. He never did it for the Halloween challenge, and to see him still in the game when I got voted-_"_  
><em>

"_Truth!_" Massachusetts cried, interrupting Chris, who gave him a glare. "_Truth!_ Truth, truth! I choose truth! I didn't know that would be the dare. I choose _truth._"

"Well, just because you're so _finicky about this..._" Chris began, giving a nod to Chef, "You're going to do the dare anyway! After all, it's what you said. The fact that you have a fear of electrocution is only gonna make this ten times funnier for everyone watching! Which means higher ratings, and a bigger paycheck for me. Chef? The taser?"

Chef tossed the taser gun to Chris, who loaded it up with a cartridge. Massachusetts jumped back from his podium, and yelled, "_NO!_ I don't wanna do this anymore! I don't! Stop it! Please - I don't want to be electrocuted - I give up, _I give up!_" Chris frowned. "Are you saying you're quitting?"

Massachusetts opened his eyes just a little, glancing around. He considered the question seriously, but his gaze always returned to the electric gun in Chris's hand, held at a threatening position towards Massachusetts. Everyone was watching. "Uh... um..." Massachusetts choked, "I... no, but... I don't want to do the challenge. I don't want to quit. But I also don't want to do the challenge."

"It's one or the other, Massachusetts!" Chris yelled, waving the taser around. "You can't _not_ do the challenge and still stay in the game! If you want a shot at the million, you're gonna have to get tased. Sorry if this scares you or whatever."

"I _want_ to stay in the game!" Massachusetts argued, still carefully watching the taser. "I just don't want to get tased! Or electrocuted! Can I please do truth? I want to know what York's truth question was. Or can I get another contestant? I think New York has it out for me or something - because, well, I guess we have months of animosity between us, but still-"_  
><em>

"None of what you just said can be done!" Chris informed him, turning on the taser, producing a light blue spark at the end. "You're gonna get tased if you want a shot at that million, Massachusetts. Hate to break it to you. But it's gotta be done. Now hold still."

Again, Massachusetts jumped back, terrified, as Chris extended his arm. "_Then I quit!_" he screamed. "I - I quit, completely. No more. I don't want to be shocked into submission. Undergoing physical _torture_ is just... _not_ worth if for this show. No way. I'm done."

The taser was shut off. "Then we _have a loser!_" Chris yelled, raising his hands in triumph. "Massachusetts, you are now _banished from participating on The Fifty State Roadtrip!_ You would've only gotten in, like, third, anyways. If you'd stayed in, that is. The taxi is right out the door. Say your goodbyes."

Massachusetts just gaped at the host. "...oh," he said in a quiet voice. "Um. Crap. I didn't really think that... uh... wow. Um. Okay. Bye, guys."

Virginia patted him on the back with a rather concerned expression, thinking about her newest predicament. "Bye, Massachusetts," she said quietly. "You were a good kid. I wanted you to win. You deserved it." He smiled in response, and hugged her. South Dakota gazed sadly at the two. When Massachusetts let go, he approached Oregon, smiling. "Bye, Oregon," he said, shaking hands. "You were fun to be with, I guess. Good luck in the game. I'll be rooting for you, too."

He then saluted Hawaii, and smiled politely at South Dakota, giving her the tiniest wink. "Wow. It's kind of a weird feeling to be off the show," he commented, walking off the stage. "I'll be rooting for all - er, most of you back home. Try to save _some_ prize money for me if you can. It'd be kind of a bummer to get this far and not get anything in return."

"Oh, all contestants kicked off the show _do_ get a consolation prize!" Chris reminded him, waving. "You get a free pair of CampTV headphones and a coupon to Arby's for a free Cravin' Chicken Sandwich. I don't know about _you_ guys, but that sounds pretty good to _me._"

Massachusetts smiled, and walked out of the theater. "You always were an asshole, Chris!" he cried. "I'll miss you guys!"

And then there were five.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_215_mp3**

"Am I mad I got kicked off? No. Not really. I did it on my own terms. I could've gotten electrocuted and stayed on the show, but... this thing just isn't worth it. But I don't regret doing The Fifty State Roadtrip. I know that much. This show was an incredible experience for me, and... I wouldn't be the same. Plus... I got in _sixth place._ Sixth. Out of fifty. That is _good._ So... it's not all bad. It really isn't."

Massachusetts

**11:40 AM.**

The Fifty State Roadtrip's bus slowly rolled through the streets of Phoenix, taking in the sights of that flat town. Christmas decorations were put up everywhere, and the five contestants still on the show gazed in awe at this city. They'd just narrowly avoided elimination, so there was a great call for celebration.

Not for everyone, however. For one thing, only one alliance remained: North Dakota's. Virginia's last partner was now gone, so she was on her own, as were Oregon and South Dakota. This didn't spell good news. North Dakota was at a similar wall; with Oregon's departure from _her_ alliance, her forces were now down to just two, assuming Hawaii stayed with her. If Oregon inexplicably decided being on his own wasn't such a terrific idea... then the alliances would be deadlocked. Again. And, once again, the only person who would be able to unlock it would be...

North Dakota rounded a corner, and entered her bunk room. South Dakota sat on her bed, watching the views outside. "Oh, hey, sis..." South murmured, feeling the vibration of the bus. "Isn't it so nice in this city? Everything looks so normal and... and big. The suburbs go on for miles."

"Mm," North Dakota muttered, hardly a sufficient reply. "Sis, I need to talk to you."

South turned, and glanced fearfully at her sister. "I... realize I haven't been the greatest sister recently," North Dakota mumbled, glancing down at her handcuffs, which weren't due to be removed until the evening. "I've been pretty awful, actually. I need you to forgive me. Oregon left the alliance, and now I've just got Hawaii."

"Oh. You want my vote, then," South replied, and turned back towards the window. "Huh. That's weird. I thought you wanted me back as a sister."

"Well - yes, I mean - I didn't mean for it to sound like that," North stammered, taking one step back. "South, I just need your support. Remember, we're going to the top two together. Remember? Me and you. We split the money fifty-fifty. I promise. We have to be _united_ on this. Otherwise, what's the point?"

South Dakota didn't respond, still staring out the window. "I don't believe you..." she mumbled. "When Oklahoma was voted off, you apologized to me and California. And then you went and kicked off _Callie!_ I just... your apologies are just so _hollow._ They don't mean anything. I'm sorry, but somehow I think you're just going to use me to have my vote. Instead of actually _loving me_ like a sister _should._"_  
><em>

North Dakota gaped at South. "That's what you think, huh?" North asked, grimacing. "Huh. Well, think about _this,_ then. I'm not leaving the show any time soon. I'm _sorry_ if you don't like my _tactics,_ but that's how this game _works._ The strong survive. The weak die. That's how it's always been. I'm strong. I always have been. You're weak. You _need me. _You _do_ realize that without me, there's no way you would've gotten this far, right?"

Again, South turned to glare at her sister, though the fact remained true. "You can still be in the show while being a _decent human being..._" South Dakota pointed out. "Virginia did it. North, it's just - what you _do_ to people is sickening. You almost killed North Carolina. You cheated to get Minnesota voted off. You... _god..._ just the amount of people you've kicked off the show is terrible. It is! It's terrible!"

"That's just how the show _goes,_" North repeated darkly. "And you'd better rethink your strategy, because without me, you can't survive on this show. You think Virginia will just _take you in?_ Think again. She's spent the last month or so brutally opposing me and everything I stand for. I doubt she'd support _my_ sister. So you've got _nobody,_ South. Nobody. Stick with me, and that'll at least be _one_ person."

North Dakota walked right out of the room at that, leaving South to brood over what her sister'd said.

**12:59 PM.**

"I want to join you. I'm sorry for not taking up on your offer earlier."

Oregon discreetly spoke directly to Virginia, in the middle of the bus's hallway. The bus was parked at a gas station on the edge of Phoenix; they had a long distance to go before they arrived in Massachusetts. Virginia seemed surprised at Oregon's request, yet pleased nonetheless. "I thought you'd come through," she responded, grinning. "Okay. So. Since you wanted to be on your own earlier, I assume you're only with me to oppose North Dakota...?"

He nodded. "And after this you just wanna be on your own?" she continued, staring at him curiously. Another nod. "That's what I thought. Okay. That's fine. So. It's me and you versus North Dakota and Hawaii. We take out North Dakota as soon as possible. If we can't do that, then we take out Hawaii. Are you okay with that?"

Oregon considered it carefully. "Not Hawaii," he said decidedly. "He's a nice guy, believe it or not. He's just, um... a little misguided with North Dakota. I think he might come around eventually. So... just North Dakota. Hawaii used to be a teammate of mine."

"Alright," Virginia muttered, shrugging, and turning her gaze back towards the window. "I'm glad this was settled." The two stood in silence, focusing on the scenery outside. There was only two more weeks in the show. Every single contestant was intent on winning the thing no matter what... but only one would make it. The dangers of getting booted were very much real, and... everything was on the line. A million in cash. To spend on whatever you wanted. To have that much money _that early_ into your life meant... meant assurances for the future. It meant a free pass to college. It meant the freedom to be whoever you wanted to be. This would change their lives. The stakes were _very_ much real.

**ELIMINATED**:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, Texas, Arizona, and Massachusetts.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **StayOuttaMyShed, ElizabethLifeStone, Guest, Anna Blake, and Ali6132!

**aspiringAnimator -** Grrr. I wanted to write more for this chapter, but I ran out of time, it's twenty minutes until midnight. Guess I'll have to add it onto the draft for the next episode! Anyways, Massachusetts is kicked off. He originally was supposed to get in third, actually, but I changed it about mid-game! I really think I based him on me. We both wear glasses, and I generally think the way he does. Additionally, Massachusetts is my favorite state, and I wish I lived there.

Five contestants remained. This is officially the final streak now. There are only four more regular episodes of the show. Who are you rooting for? The final four episodes are set in stone; I know exactly what's going to happen now, and I'm not going to change anything at all. That's not to say I changed something very recently, of course; I think the last change I made in the show's plot was about a month or two ago, concerning how far Arizona got in the game. So everything's set in stone! Review! I need that valuable criticism and general thoughts. We're very close to the end, and I'm going to finish this thing. It's easily the largest project I've ever done in my life. Ever. So that's something.


	47. Severnaya Sestra

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - **(**Oregon and Virginia**)**, **(**Hawaii and North Dakota**)**, and South Dakota.

**EPISODE 46: SEVERNAYA SESTRA**

_"_Is that sociopathic of me? I don't think it is. Is it?" - North Dakota__

**Wednesday, December 10th, 2014. Boston, Massachusetts. 7:43 AM.**

A dull gray spreading of clouds flowed over the East Coast on the relentless march into mid-December. Chilly, biting winds swooped into this region of booming cities and quaint little towns. The holiday season had begun for America, and with it the shrill musical cries of Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. As the looming clouds descended upon the city of Boston, the final five contestants dined at a small Arby's in a nearby town. Light flakes of snow - actual, _real snow_ - slowly shimmered down onto the pavement, accumulating in a thin layer of powdery white. This sudden hiemal uprising into the five contestants' everyday lives certainly qualified as unsettling, but each of them was eager to push on through the game no matter what._  
><em>

"I don't see why we can't have bacon," Chris argued, standing at the counter of the small chain restaurant. A bored-looking employee stared at him, elbows on the counter, one hand propped against his cheek. "I'm sorry, sir," the employee droned, "we didn't get a shipment today because of the weather. If you would like, I can give you a free coupon for a Cravin' Chicken Sandwich, and recommend a few other items on our menu-"

"I have like a _million_ of these coupons!" shouted Chris, grabbing a handful from his pockets and tossing them into the air in a fit of annoyance. "We just want the _bacon, egg, and cheese croissants! _Is that so hard? Do you want to see five children go _hungry?_ Do you want for them to _die?_"_  
><em>

Virginia rolled her eyes at Chris from her position at one of the plastic tables in the restaurant, and sipped into her drink. The other four contestants sat around her. South Dakota idly sat in her seat, inspecting a copy of the menu and perpetually frowning at it. Beside her was North Dakota; cold and calculating as usual, though with a faint degree of smug pride in the fact that she'd gotten to the top five. Technically, ninety percent of the game was done for her and the others, she reasoned. If she could do that, then the other ten percent ought to be a cinch.

And then there was Hawaii, right next to North Dakota as usual. Out of everyone, he'd been the most talkative, explaining predictions for the challenges and generally keeping the bus from being utterly silent. While he knew he was allied strictly to North Dakota, Hawaii considered himself a friend to everybody in the group; that is, as long as they didn't directly try to eliminate him. Off to Virginia's side sat Oregon, who played with a straw and occasionally chatted with Hawaii if the subject was interesting enough. They'd all been sitting there for the past twenty minutes, waiting for Chris to pick up the food and quit his bickering. Though this was nowhere near comparable to the hour-long waits for food they used to have to endure back in the days of Act 1, twenty minutes was still a _really_ long time for just five contestants.

Chris walked up to the contestants. "Alright, we're going to have to settle on chicken biscuits," he informed them, frowning slightly. "I hope that's okay with you guys. I tried - I really tried. I wanted those bacon, egg, and cheese croissants. I really did. Whatever. You kids ready for the challenge? I wanna get into Boston before this snow really starts to come down. I know a blizzard's coming. Supposed to last, like, all week."

Before anybody could answer his usually hypothetical questions, Chris's cell phone rang; it seemed to be a shrill rendition of the show's theme song. Which was the exact same theme song as on the seasons before it. Oregon curiously looked at the phone, and asked, "Hey, I've never seen the opening to this show. When can we watch it?" But Chris held up a finger, signalling for his silence, and talked with a producer for a few minutes. He only returned when the biscuits were ready, still on the phone.

"Yo, guys, I'm real excited for this challenge," Hawaii insisted, chowing down on a biscuit sandwich and evidently unaware of the voting deadlock that would occur after the challenge, assuming it wasn't another auto-elimination. North Dakota glanced at him a little irritably, no longer having to keep up the charade of acting seductively for him. Hawaii's support was guaranteed at this point, as he insisted to anybody who would listen that this would "get me laid", as he put it. While he was in the middle of babbling on about the benefits of enjoying a room to himself, Chris suddenly made a loud yelp in the middle of his phone call.

"Yes! _Yes!_ Thank you!" Chris cried into his phone, absolutely ecstatic. "Don't worry, it'll go to good use. _Good use._ I - what? No, heh - no minor explosives this time. Hah. Yes. Thank you, ma'am. Oh, yes..." He hung up, and tip-toed to the kids with suppressed excitement. "Guess what, everybody?" he exploded, on the verge of mania. "We're getting _big_ cash bonuses. _Big ones for the show_, because apparently this thing is much more, man. We're going to have _much_ more intricate challenges. And - oh, this is the biggest news - the prize for winning the show is now _three millions dollars._"

The kids gaped at him. "Wait, _three million?_" North Dakota asked, entranced. He nodded in response. "Yup!" he said, grinning stupidly. "This is great. We're - oh, we're going to have a different challenge today - okay, we need to be in Boston by noon for the challenge. We're going to be working with some seriously high-tech stuff. I can promise you guys that. Come on!"

He ran out the door, dancing in the snow in joy; more money to the show meant a higher salary for him, too. Slowly, the contestants followed, leaving behind their half-eaten breakfast. In one swift move, unbeknownst to Chris himself, the producers dramatically upped the stakes to the show. A tripled prize meant vastly multiplied rewards, and therefore higher stakes. This clearly wasn't going to get any easier.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_216_mp3**

"Might as well continue my tradition of making a confessional every single day. So, it looks like the producers have just made it _much_ better for the winner. Three million is a big difference over just one million. Now, I'm no idiot. I can see the alliances. Oregon's weird new companionship with Virginia means he's allied with her. It's two versus two... and my sister's the odd one out. I've had my doubts about South in the past, but she's always come through. We're just... going through a rough patch. Yes. So, at the very worst, she'll just vote for a random person, and it'll come to a tiebreaker. Again. Let's just hope I'm not the one randomly kicked off."

North Dakota

**9:31 AM.**

The city of Boston loomed ahead, partly obscured by a gentle coating of white. Traffic on the freeway leading up to the city was incredibly crowded; up ahead, some accident had occurred, leaving the bus stranded in the beginning throes of what seemed to be a snow storm. For the moment, the five teens were trapped in the bus, unaware of when the challenge would begin.

Oregon sat at the kitchen table, sitting in a feminine position and counting out the stitches in a rainbow scarf he was making. Across from him, Hawaii sat, noisily pulling apart a cinnamon roll he'd just reheated. The other contestants lurked around other sections of the bus; South Dakota sat on the couch just nearby, whereas Virginia and North Dakota were in their respective bunk rooms. Snow gently fell around the bus as the cars around honked gratuitously; evidently, road etiquette wasn't common around here. This wasn't helped by the fact that all the cars around knew they were right next to the bus for a TV show.

Hawaii suddenly looked up, as though he'd remembered something. "Yo, why'd you leave Dakota?" he asked titled his head to one side. "Er - North, that is. North Dakota. She's real cool."

Oregon scratched the back of his head, and mumbled, "Well... I mean, sure, but... I just... think I probably misjudged her. She's not as supportive of your interests as she claims. I don't think you should keep staying on her side, Hawaii... it's not a good idea..."

A skeptical glare was shot from Hawaii. "Me and North are in a _relationship,_" he explained slowly, as though he'd done that many times. "You wouldn't understand. She promised me that she would take me to the top two. So you'd better rethink your strategy, Oregon, 'cause if you keep goin' against her, then you're not gonna get any money."

A raised eyebrow from Oregon. "Hawaii, she _voted against Washington,_" he said. "She's terrible! You know how nice Washington was. And - and _screw you_ for saying I wouldn't understand! I'm in a relationship! You know that! If anything, I think _she's using you!_ She would be _nothing_ without your support. All she would have is her sister. Hawaii... you know that you shouldn't trust her."

Hawaii stared haughtily at Oregon with an expression that ominously resembled North Dakota's. "Watch yourself, Oregon," he warned quietly. "It's obvious that the both of us got this far for a reason. When I first got on Team Victory's bus, I did _not_ think I was gonna get this far. And I did _not_ expect to be up at the top with someone like _you_, Oregon. But I did, and here we are. So... if you want my genuine advice, stick with North Dakota. If you do, you'll win."

Oregon briefly considered it, but drew away from Hawaii after a moment. "No," he decided. "I'm not going to. What she's been doing this entire season is wrong, and you know it. And she's _still in the game._ There's something genuinely wrong with her. I don't know what, but... she's a sociopath."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_217_mp3**

"Look, I know Oregon doesn't mean any harm. Little dude's just _scared._ We all are! You can't get this far in a show without gettin' scared. But man, he just doesn't understand - North Dakota's the only hot, _smart_ girl to take an interest in me! And if I stay by her side, then she'll stand a better chance of winnin'. And she's _gotta_ share the money with me! I'm not about to get this far in the game and just get booted without reason. I am _in it now._"

Hawaii

**10:10 AM.**

It wasn't for another half hour until the bus got off the freeway and into the actual city itself. Ten more minutes for the contestants to arrive at the actual building for filming, which Chris promised them was _very_ high-tech. The building the challenge would be located in was a tall skyscraper near downtown Boston. As the six of them rode up the elevator, Chris said, "We are _really_ lucky to be able to work with these guys. What they're developing is top-of-the-line. This is going to be a fun challenge."

"But you still haven't told us what the challenge is going to _be..._" South Dakota pointed out quietly, but Chris hushed her, right as the elevator doors opened into a small, sleek lobby in one of the upper floors of a new skyscraper in downtown Boston. Chris walked up to the reception's desk, where a stylishly-dressed woman wearing even _more_ stylish glasses greeted them with a raise of the eyebrow. "You're the TV show, correct?" she asked monotonously. Chris flashed that famous smile, and boasted, "Oh, yes, we are. I'm Chris McLean. Hold the applause. These are The Fifty State Roadtrip kids."

...

A roll of the eyes from the receptionist. "Your most recent episode made my daughter Brynlee cry," she muttered dully, typing something up on a computer and looking for the reservation. "She now no longer chants about some kid named after a state. So thanks for that." Chris's smile slowly faded as the receptionist pointed down the hall. "Through there," she added. "Just try not to break anything. Your appointment lasts until noon."

"Thanks," Chris muttered, leading the kids ahead, his bubbly personality overshadowed by this somewhat oppressive institution. They went through a set of doors and into a huge, circular, black room. In it, a number of pods were located, seeming like upright beds. A figure suddenly appeared from behind a stack of heavy machinery, extending his arms, and wearing a black suit. "Ah! Mister McLean!" the man cried, smiling widely and looking benevolently down at the five kids. He seemed to have a faintly British accent. "How do you do? I certainly _am_ so glad you all could make it, this will be such an honor - I'm Samuel Keys, CEO of Torpidity Science - what a delight, what a delight..."

"We're here for the challenge," Chris explained, indicating the kids. "I'm pretty sure the producers told you guys everything that needs to happen, right...?"

"Of course!" Samuel cried, clapping his hands together eagerly, and repeated, "What a delight, yes... as you know, in the plane of existence, they will be monitored, and their vitals kept under check at all times - had a few problems with one of the other machines, but - yes - it's all well and good now. Right. I suppose I should tell them what they're about to experience, yes...?"

"Yeah, we've been waiting," North Dakota pointed out, one hand on her hip. Samuel glanced around, vaguely flustered, and said, "Okay. Your television station has sent the lot of you here for a challenge, and have detailed everything that will need to happen. I was just finishing up calibration, so... yes. Ahem. Well... we here at Torpidity Science have been developing, over the last decade or so, a method to control _dreams._ At first it started out simple - means of viewing dreams, computing algorithms for which to promote certain dream behavior, but now... we've come up with something _more._"

He pointed at the capsules, all waiting. In the middle of the room, suspended from the ceiling, a large television screen hung. "Each of you will climb into those capsules!" he informed them. "You will soon fall into a drug-induced sleep. Using our most recent technology, we will send your dreams to new places. You will be _entirely lucid_ during this dream, and your experience will be directed by computational software. In fact, if this works as it _has_ been for the last three months, then you should be able to see each other in the one plane of existence!"_  
><em>

This all sounded incredibly impressive - confusing, yet impressive. "Once inside the, er, game world," Samuel continued, "the challenge will begin. I will not detail the challenge before then, but rest assured that you will all be under our supervision the entire way through. Let's call it... virtual reality. What we're _hoping_ to eventually accomplish with this technology is to introduce a product that will allow you to take full control of your dreams. People will grow even _more_ productive than they ever have been. You will be able to see your friends in dreams - you will be able to do _anything you want._ In a decade or two, anyway. Right now, we are in _heavy_ alpha testing."

Chris checked his watch, and cut in, "And we only have, like, an hour and a half to do all that, so let's get this show on the road! Kids? Into the pods. Personally, I'm a little jealous. Go on, get in, they won't hurt you."

Tentatively, each contestant climbed into their own pod, each of which was hooked up to the mainframe. Glass doors slid over the top, trapping them inside. "_Hey, yo, are you guys sure this is safe?_" Hawaii asked, tapping on the glass as he rested in position. Samuel Keys looked up, waved a limp hand, and reassured, "Oh - yes, absolutely - right - power on... inducing the sleep. I hope this dosage isn't too much."

And, one by one, each contestant fell right asleep. The challenge had begun.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_218_mp3**

"Okay, yeah, that was all scientifically interesting and all that. Kind of cool to see all the things people are developing. But I don't really see the utility of a product that only works when you're asleep. It was cool, that much I'll admit. Like, how I could feel everything, and touch people, and smell the smoke? That was really cool."_  
><em>

Virginia

**10:37 AM.**

Virginia coughed, and struggled against her new bonds; slowly, her vision faded away as it became increasingly difficult to maintain consciousness. Eventually, her vision slipped away, and she fell limp, resting peacefully inside a small metal pod in the upper floors of a downtown Bostonian skyscraper.

...

And seconds later, she fell onto a hard, featureless floor.

"_Ow!_" she yelled, eyes flinging open. Her head felt cloudy, as though her brain wasn't working as hard. Using squinting eyes, Virginia peered around her surroundings. Everything was pitch black and silent. She looked down, and examined her body; everything seemed normal. Her breathing came out very slowly, though; it didn't seem like something she could control. With a shaking hand, she pushed herself off the ground, and stood up, taking one step into the darkness.

At that very moment, lights came on in this new realm, illuminating the area ahead. The floor seemed to be a of a thick, solid black, yet could strangely be lit up by this light. With a slow, gradual realization, Virginia saw the other four contestants. They were all standing in a circle around the lights in the center of the room, and walked forward.

"_Wow..._" South Dakota could be heard murmuring. Her words didn't seem to reverberate against any walls, and could be heard from any distance. "_This is cool. Are we really here? Like, do we exist here?_"

"_I don't... think so,_" Oregon murmured, though his somewhat girly voice came through as clear as day. "_This is just a computer simulation. Or something. What do we do next? I'm confused. Is this the challenge?_" But before he could inquire any further, a loud, clear voice rang out above them, "Okay, they're in! Hey, guys! This is Chris speaking! Can you hear me? Or are you kids asleep?"_  
><em>

"_Yes! We can hear you!_" North Dakota yelled back, waving her arms upwards. "_What do we do?_"

"They can hear us!" Chris shouted, and a loud clapping was heard in the background. "Okay! Awesome. The producers have detailed exactly what they want the challenge to be. Now, take note, you kids _will_ be able to feel pain! To a small degree. Just don't go around killing yourselves, alright? Here's how the challenge is gonna go."

Suddenly, a huge building popped into existence nearby. It seemed to be over ten stories tall, and on the top, the word "HOTEL" was spelled out. "This is going to be a _disaster_ challenge!" Chris's disembodied voice explained to them. "One disaster will happen. Its the goal of you kids to _survive._ The final contestant standing wins elimination. This building is what I like to call the disaster hotel! Our computer expert dudes spent the last week or so building it in Google Sketch-up or whatever. It is _fully_ destructible. I suggest you kids climb it in order to survive the first disaster. Alright?"

They seemed to get the picture. Five kids were trapped in a virtual world, despite the fact that they were literally asleep on the outside. All but one was doomed to have a dream death. All of this was coupled with the fact that, while asleep, it was much harder to think properly; after all, your body _is_ resting. This was just a really elaborate lucid dream. Shared by five people.

"_Well... you heard the man,_" Virginia said, pointing at the hotel. "_We might as well climb it. If we wanna survive, that is. Come on. It shouldn't take long, and if we want to survive, then we should stick together._"

"_Who says we gotta stick together?_" North Dakota vehemently asked, hands on her hips and glaring at Virginia with a shrewd stare. "_This is a competition. Remember? We do what we want. And maybe the best thing to do is not do exactly as Chris says. Do you think he's on our side or something?_"_  
><em>

"_Suit yourself..._" Oregon muttered, following Virginia into the polygonal building. "_I'm gonna go in here. You guys can stay out there if you want._" Just like that, South Dakota followed, as did Hawaii a few seconds later after a fearful glance at the void around them, as though he suspected meteors to suddenly come flying at his face at any moment. North Dakota stubbornly sat outside, arms folded, yet gave in, wandering into the hotel with the others when it became apparent that nobody was staying outside with her.

And then there was an explosion.

"_Oh, my god!_" South Dakota cried, grabbing onto the railing of a staircase. "_What was that?_"

"Uh oh! The building has a fire!" Chris's voice rang out. "You kids might want to keep on climbing!" North Dakota groaned, and yelled, "_Yeah, thanks for that, Chris! Asshole. Is this place seriously on fire, or was he kidding...?_" Hawaii took a peek down the staircase they were ascended. "_I see smoke,_" he quietly muttered. "_Down there. Should I go look?_"

Nobody had been listening to him, as even North Dakota followed the others on the way up. Hawaii glared after them, glanced back down the stairs, and slowly crept his way down to check out the damage. No way was he going to miss out on seeing explosions.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_219_mp3**

"Virtual reality is cool. What if, like, in the future, we could go to sleep in these pods, and just carry on with our lives in our sleep? You could do _anything!_ Meet anybody! That's like eight extra hours of productivity! I mean, sure, your mind's always cloudy all the time, and everything feels really weird, but... man. If this stuff gets perfected in, like, a few decades, you can count me _in._ I'd love going to bed at night and seeing all my friends from school and doing _anything._ Something tells me that people would prefer being asleep to being awake! Which... might not actually be a good thing, now that I think about it."_  
><em>

Oregon

**10:45 AM.**

Four contestants slammed the door open onto the roof of the artificial hotel. Great plumes of smoke rose from the base of the hotel, filling whatever air this realm had with dark black smoke. North Dakota coughed, looking around. She peered over the edge, and asked, "_Hey, where's Hawaii? He was just with us earlier._"

They glanced about. Hawaii was certainly nowhere to be seen. "_If he's down there, like hell if I'm gonna drag his butt up here,_" Virginia determinedly muttered, the issue set in stone in her mind. Before North Dakota could press the issue any further, however, Chris's shrill voice rang out from above, "Hawaii has just died! Good job, dude! He is the first to fall! Hahah!"

"_Wait, what?_" North Dakota cried, panic-stricken. "_He died? How? Did he fall or something?_"

A crackling from the void above, and Chris responded, "He went back downstairs to check out the fire! Unfortunately... he literally fell through a weak, burnt portion of the floor, and died horribly just a few seconds ago. He's okay back in the real world, of course, but I bet he's gonna be a little shaken. No problems. You kids keep on surviving!"

His voice cut out immediately after that. The shock that one of their friends had just died didn't go away. "_Ohhh, I really don't like this..._" South Dakota murmured, peering around the roof of the hotel. "_Are you sure this is safe? Because I think maybe we ought to find a fire escape, or-_"

At that moment, the entire building shook abruptly, forcing the contestants to crouch down and steady themselves. "_We need to get off this roof,_" Oregon suggested. "_I'm not even sure why we came up here in the first place. It's dangerous. I'm gonna take the elevator. Fastest way down._"_  
><em>

Just like that, Oregon took off for the door to the stairs and elevators, but Virginia grabbed his arm roughly, stopping him from proceeding. "_Are you mental?_" she asked, practically ready to slap him if need be. "_You never use elevators during a fire! That's rule number one! We have to take the stairs!_"

The building rumbled again ominously, as the ground shifted below them. "_We may not be able to afford the luxury of having enough time to take the stairs!_" Oregon argued back after another moment of steadying himself. The bottom floors of the hotel began to crackle. "_You guys can take the stairs, that's okay, but I'm taking the elevator. If anything, it'll be protection against the fire. Since it's metal. Is nobody coming with me?_"_  
><em>

Nobody responded. Oregon, once again, singled himself out, and his expression softened slightly at this realization. South Dakota tugged softly on his arm, and said, "_Oregon, come with us. Strength in numbers, right?_" Even North Dakota seemed to think Oregon going off by himself and getting killed would be a bad idea. Eventually, Oregon sighed, and mumbled, "_Fine, okay, okay, it was a stupid idea. I just thought we could get off the roof easier that way. But we still need to get down. How are we supposed to accomplish that?_"

"_By actually using the stairs!_" Virginia yelled, pointing. And so they followed.

**11:24 AM.**

Two remaining contestants only got to the fourth floor before they were stopped again by burning rubble. Earlier, Oregon and Virginia had left to go find a fire escape, leaving the two sisters to go to the bottom. Predictably, they were stopped by the flames. "_Great, now what?_" North Dakota asked, folding her arms. "_This sucks. Got any bright ideas?_"

"_We stay positive,_" South Dakota insisted, her voice clear as day. "_We're close to the ground. Maybe we could jump. It wouldn't be that bad of a fall, and I'm not sure if we can be injured in this realm. Like - non-fatally so._" North Dakota didn't seem to agree, though. "_Well, I'm going back up,_" she decided with a huff. "_Maybe the disaster will change, and there'll be a flood or something. Or maybe we'll all burn to death! That sounds like so much fun! What do you think, sis?_"

South stared at her sister with an increasingly wary gaze. "_Y'know, you really need to think about how you appear to other people..._" South Dakota mumbled. "_Being pessimistic and rude to everybody is only going to earn you enemies. And if you're going to date Hawaii, then you should at least pay him some attention! That's how relationships work, North..._"

North Dakota whipped around to glare at her sister. "_Oh, since you're the relationship queen around here!_" she cried shrilly. "_Correct me if I'm wrong, sis, but I'm pretty sure no boy on this show has paid you any attention other than Massachusetts - and that was for a dare. A dare! So, no, sis, you don't know how relationships work. Now follow me. We're going upstairs._"_  
><em>

For a brief moment, it seemed like South Dakota was going to comply without argument, but she froze, eyes narrowing at North. "_Okay, I'm sorry, but that's exactly what I'm talking about,_" South Dakota pointed out bluntly. "_You don't just say that kind of stuff to people. That's how you earn enemies! I like to think that if you were more strategic in what people think of you, then you could've easily won the game, but you weren't. You were always complaining - on Team Dakota, on Team Fabulous, and even now! Sis - this is my genuine advice - just be a better person to people!_"

"_Whatever..._" North growled, pushing past her sister. "_We're going back up, otherwise we burn to death. It's your choice. I'm not going to sift around some hot ash just to find Hawaii. As if he's even worth a sacrifice. Maybe when we see him again, I'll tell him I don't need him anymore. Ohhh, I love when I do that. It's so much fun to see peoples' expressions twist and change when they find out. Is that sociopathic of me? I don't think it is. Is it?_"

South didn't seem to be able to respond at the moment. "_Ah... uh..._"

Without answering North's query, South Dakota pushed past, and continued up the stairs, leaving her sister behind. "_Hey!_" North Dakota yelled, stamping her foot as the building shook again. "_I asked you a question. I'm not a sociopath, am I? It's justified, I think - at least, in my case, because - because everyone else isn't worthy of getting the money. And that's three million, like hell I'm going to give it up to Hawaii. Or anybody, for that matter. But - sis - you didn't answer me. You don't think I'm a sociopath. Right? It's a strong word._"

South Dakota gulped, and merely tried to scoot up the stairs, avoiding the question. North Dakota made another move to grab her sister as flames began to roar up to their floor - there wasn't much time - "_Sis! I asked you a question! Answer it!_"

Her sister wasn't able to answer the question, because in that instant, a volley of rubble came tumbling down from the ceiling - tiles fell as burning wood came crashing down upon the two. "_Agh!_" South screamed, getting crushed, unable to move. "_Aaah! Sis! North, are you alright?_"

North groaned, trying to lift her head from a large cluster of debris. "_This hurts..._" she muttered, shaking her head to clear it from the cloudiness of being in a dream. "_Ugh. Are you dead?_"

"Oregon is!" Chris's voice rang out. "Dead, that is. Just now, he was sucked down through the floor, falling several stories! Interestingly enough, it seems like that same debris has trapped both North and South Dakota. Virginia, make your decision!"

"_What?_" North asked, looking around. "_Oh. Oregon's dead. Good. Here - South, help me, I can't get out-_"

"_I can't, I'm stuck too, North - please stop - we need to wait for Virginia-_"

"_Oh, so she can help you, instead of me? No thanks. Get me out of here._"

Virginia approached, having jogged down several flights of stairs. "_Oh, shit..._" she whispered. "_South. Lemme get you out of there. Is North dead?_"

"_Do I look dead?_" North screamed, pounding her fists on the carpeted, ash-ridden floors. "_No! Now help me, you inbred! I'll - I'll make it worth your while! South, tell this girl to get me out of here. You're not just gonna leave me, are you?_"

South Dakota, with assistance from Virginia, pulled herself from the rubble as the building gave another shake. "_Uhhh... I don't think we have enough time,_" South Dakota reasoned, stepping away from North Dakota. "_Sis, I'm sorry - but we need to get out of here. This whole place is falling apart, and the fire is going to reach this floor at any minute - don't worry, I'll see you later!_"

Virginia and South Dakota ran off, leaving North screaming after them. "_Get your asses back here!_" North screamed, struggling to pull herself from the rubble as more debris began to fall. "_South! You fucking owe me! Do you hear me? You're not gonna get away with this. You owe me!_"

**11:32 AM.**

"_Don't jump!_" South Dakota urged, tugging on Virginia's arm as she sat on the edge of a windowsill about five stories off the ground. The building shook terrifically, about to come down. "_I'm not burnin' to death like yo' sister, that's for sure!_" Virginia proclaimed, about to let go. "_And I don't think we have fall damage. So there's that. See - South, you've gotta think like a video game. You don't have fall damage because we're just kids, and that'd be sick._"_  
><em>

"_Well - fine, then! Jump!_" South cried, stepping away from the window. "_But you won't make it. I'm sorry, Virginia, but it's the truth. Just... come back on over, and we can talk about this-_"_  
><em>

But before such aforementioned talks could begin, Virginia let go with a startled yelp, right as the building shifted once more - South Dakota screamed louder than Virginia at the sight of her falling - seconds of tumbling, and then-

In that very instant, Virginia woke up with a start, falling forward onto the glass covering of her pod. Her bones were stiff and weak, and her mind incredibly groggy. With a hiss, the doors slid open, depositing her limp frame onto the ground, landing with a thud. "Ohhh, god, I feel awful..." Within moments, however, her body was lifted by some rather excited hands. "My dear girl, are you alright?" a light, giddy voice asked. She slurred, "Uhng... yes...?"

"Oh, she died?" Chris's voice asked, looking over. "Well, good, that means the challenge is over. South Dakota won. Virginia - what'd you do? The building was about to come down. I wanted to watch it. I love watching things burn."

Just then, another glass door opened, and South Dakota fell forward onto the ground, landing on the floor with a slam. "Perhaps I should stop them from falling face first next time..." Samuel Keys murmured, stroking his chin as Hawaii and Oregon assisted South Dakota. "South, you won immunity!" Chris yelled, shaking her head to get her to understand. "Are you awake yet? C'mon, up and at 'em. We need to prep for tonight's voting ceremony. I think it's going to be a big one." South Dakota blinked sleepily, gazing around; everyone was staring at her. "I what?" she asked, groaning.

Samuel Keys noticed her discomfort, and explained, "Oh, uhm - typically, after waking up, our test subjects report feeling very disoriented and, well... uh, generally stupid. But don't worry! We'll have any issues ironed out. Eventually. It's a long process." Chris gave him a somewhat weirded-out nod, and said, "Well, I hope we got enough footage from the displays. So, uh, um - thanks for the thing. It's pretty impressive. Very, um... scientific."

"The pleasure is all mine!" Samuel assured them, waving as the group walked out the chamber. "Come back any time! It gets lonely up here, you know!"

Chris's awkward laugh was the only response Samuel got. And with that, the contestants rode the elevator down out of the building. The snow outside only fell harder; a blizzard was approaching the entire American Northeast, the worst one seen in years.

**3:44 PM.**

Within minutes of getting back on the bus, it became obvious to everybody that there would be another two-way tie. North Dakota decided to take out Virginia, whereas Virginia and Oregon both were adamant about voting off North Dakota herself, once and for all, despite the odds. Hawaii, still supporting North Dakota, consented with eliminating Virginia. The one tie breaking contestant was, once again, South Dakota. Of course she wasn't willing to vote against her sister, so Virginia was the obvious choice here.

Except... she wasn't willing to do that, either. There was the easy way out of just voting for a random contestant, forcing a tie breaking ceremony again, but... somehow that didn't seem productive. Especially when there was a very real chance it could just eliminate either Virginia or North Dakota. So... she was forced to choose between the bonds of blood and the bonds of friendship.

"Sis, you _owe me!_"

"North, I don't owe you anything. I'm just saying that I want to stay neutral on this."

"And look what happened last time. Arizona got kicked off. Is that what you want? This time it'll be Oregon, or - or Hawaii, or _you!_ I don't think immunity stops you from being randomly eliminated during something like this. South, you're going to vote with me against Virginia, and that's final."

"Virginia is a _good person!_ North, your definition of 'good' may be different from mine, but you _know_ Virginia doesn't deserve to go home."

"So, what - _I do?_ South, are you an idiot? Why would you ever vote off your own sister?"

...

South stepped away from her sister, trying to get away from the situation. "God, I hate this..." South mumbled, sitting down on the bed. "North, what you've done this _entire season was bad._ You were a _horrible person to a lot of people._ That's sickening. I've known you my entire life, and I've seen you do things this season that not even I can explain. It's _bad!_ You're a _bad person, and you don't even care!_ I'm sorry, but it's _true!_"

North Dakota stood in silence, growing revolted by her sister. "This was supposed to be a _partnership,_" North pointed out coldly. "You and me. And look at this. You've turned on me. God. What use are you? This entire season, you've been a _drag._ Pulling me down. Remember when we said you would be the brains, and I would be the brawn? You're _neither._ Here... how about this? You wanna be good? Then do the _good thing_ and _vote for Virginia._ You're not getting out of it this time. You may disagree with my tactics, but they are _efficient tactics._"

South Dakota sighed, her head in her hands. North stared for a moment longer, about to leave, and reminded, "Make the right decision, sis. You know I can't go down easily. There's no use even trying. South...? I'll see you tomorrow morning. I have _confidence_ in your decision-making."

And then there was one.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_220_mp3**

"This is the... the _crappiest_ situation. There, see? I cussed, just so I could set the tone. When I started this thing, I _never_ thought I'd have to face decisions like this. But... the more I think about it, the more I realize that she's right. She is completely right. But... I just hate being forced to make this decision. And the worst part is, I like both my sister _and_ Virginia. But... I'm going to have to vote against... her. Some people will agree with my choice. And some won't. I just... I think I'm making the right decision. I hope I am. For my sake."_  
><em>

South Dakota

**7:00 PM.**

A single, frost-coated bus sat on the edge of an empty snow-covered basketball court near downtown Boston. Heavy flakes drifted down, occasionally blowing with a harsh intensity against six figures. Five sat in a circle around the sixth. A seventh, rather large figure sat in the bus, warming himself with a cup of hot chocolate. Chris was wearing a giant white jacket, grinning at the freezing children. "Hello, kiddies!" he exclaimed, a mad glint in his eyes. "This is quite possibly going to be the most dramatic voting ceremony we'll ever have. Ever! I'm excited. Today, I just have snowballs to throw at you! Because all the stores are closed down, on account of not being able to get into their stores. Because of the snow."

He then gestured vaguely at the white powder around them, somewhat unnecessarily. Everyone was too cold to speak up. Chris shrugged, and took a look at his clipboard.

"Hawaii!" Chris yelled, and threw a snowball as hard as he could at Hawaii, who was wearing the least amount of protective clothing compared to the others. "_Ow!_" Hawaii screamed, somewhat exaggeratedly. "That _hurt, Chris!_" Chris only laughed in response, and then cried out, "Oregon! You're safe, too, bro. No votes."

Oregon received a snowball to the groin, making him collapse to the ground in pain. Chris tossed a snowball up and down in the air, surveying the last three contestants: North Dakota, Virginia, and South Dakota.

...

"South Dakota! No votes!" he yelled, sealing the fate of the other two with a snowball to South's stomach. "North Dakota and Virginia got the entire brunt of the votes tonight. And five is an odd number, so... one of them's going home." He faced Virginia, and exclaimed, "Virginia, you've survived it all. The horrors of West Virginia's stalking. The Michigan-Ohio conflict of late Act 1. The dictatorship of Illinois. The collapse of Team America. I swear - I bet it sounds like I'm making this stuff up, to viewers who weren't caught up with all that. You survived the entirety of Team Fabulous, and went on to maintain an alliance well into the finals. In fact, you're still in an alliance! Interesting. But North Dakota..."

He turned to face North Dakota now, a mad gleam in his eyes. "You are _North Dakota!_" he yelled. "Need I say more? You instantly took control of Team Dakota, going on to maintain an alliance into the death throes of Team Fabulous. Your sister is still in the game. You lied, cheated, and stole to get what you wanted. You boosted ratings by like three hundred percent! We predict. So... tonight's final snowball goes to..."

This was the moment. North Dakota glared with a grim determination at Chris, occasionally swiveling her stare to include her sister, Virginia, and Hawaii. Any second now, and either North Dakota or Virginia would be going home. This truly was the moment.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Virginia."

A long, drawn out silence followed. Chris limply held a snowball in his hand, glancing between Virginia, North Dakota, and South Dakota. When nothing happened, he half-assedly threw the snowball at Virginia, which exploded into a crumbly mess of ice. And then, North Dakota spoke, with her eyes shut, and fists trembling.

"South? I'm going to motherfucking kill you. I am _going to kill you._"

South Dakota took a few steps back, absolutely terrified. "North, please, listen to me," she stammered, eyes widening, but North Dakota quite literally flipped out. Her eyes snapped open, and she took a few steps towards her sister, hand grabbing South's neck.

"_I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU FOR THIS. DO YOU HEAR ME?_"

South cried in pain, sinking to her knees, as Chris yelled, "Hey - _hey!_ NORTH! YOU STOP THAT!"

North Dakota brought her sister down to the snow-covered ground, a cruel madness in her eyes as her sister coughed. "_This is what you fucking get,_" North whispered, cold determination in her eyes. "All this time. I thought you were with me. I _thought you were my fucking sister._ You are _nothing._ You don't even _deserve _to be in this competition. The _only reason_ they even _let you on this show_ was because of _me._ Without _me,_ you wouldn't have even got this far-"

WHAM. North Dakota was clocked in the face by Chef himself, who gave her a toothy snarl. "_You stop tryin' to kill 'er!_" he yelled at North Dakota, who lie twitching on the ground. "Jesus..." Chris muttered, staring at North. "South. Are you alright?"

South Dakota gasped, curled up on the ground a few feet away from her sister. Virginia gasped, her hands to her mouth, as she and Oregon kneeled down to assist South Dakota. Chef scooped up North Dakota's unconscious form, and took her into the taxi, not even bothering to load up her luggage. "Damn..." Hawaii muttered, wide-eyed. "This shit is intense."

"Yeah, you _think?_" Oregon snapped, tenderly helping Virginia lift South Dakota, to be taken into the bus. The holocaust was complete, and the dictator dead.

**ELIMINATED**:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, Texas, Arizona, Massachusetts, and North Dakota.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Knifez, Guest, StayOuttaMyShed, ElizabethLifeStone, Ali6132, and Anna Blake!

**aspiringAnimator** - Damn. I never thought I'd get this far. And so, North Dakota has fallen, slightly earlier than most people suspected. She was always planned to go fifth, and South Dakota's insurrection was also always planned. Man, North Dakota is one of my favorite characters to write for. She seriously is! The way she rationalizes and justifies everything she does is just so interesting to me. Personally, I think she's one of my most well-defined characters, and is easily the most important character of this entire fic.

This episode's title is a loose translation from Russian. It means "The Northern Sister". During this chapter, which is most likely going to be defined as the climax of the entire fic, I gave each contestant one confessional each. I don't know why. I thought that would make it significant. That is what writers do, right? They do significant things that aren't really significant, but they say they are afterwards? I know that's how Andrew Hussie does it.

Oh, one last thing. I seriously recommend translating this fic with Gizoogle. It's hilarious.


	48. Hiemal Penultimatum

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - Hawaii, Oregon, South Dakota, and Virginia.

**EPISODE 47: HIEMAL PENULTIMATUM**

_"An episode where the kids _almost die?_ That's gonna be a sweet tagline." - Chris_

**Sunday, December 14th, 2014. Fargo, North Dakota. 1:35 PM.**

Winter.

Immense volumes of snow blasted against a single bus as it inched along the interstate west into North Dakota. As the weekend had gone on, the weather only worsened. Traffic came to a standstill on the state border between Minnesota and North Dakota as feet upon feet of snow blanketed the road. The temperature soon dropped down into the negatives, developing a windchill that ripped snowflakes through the air like spikes of ice. A dull howling cried through the air, a mourning call for all the contestants who'd been voted off the show one way or the other. Not really, of course. It is not possible for air to mourn for a bunch of teenagers.

Even the temperature in the bus had dropped to a frigid low for the four contestants still hanging onto the show. Chef made a number of grunting noises as he sat in the driver's seat, bundled up and drinking from a greasy-looking cup of coffee he'd left sitting since the morning. Every few seconds, he honked the bus's loud horn at the other cars, as if that would make them go forward in this standstill. Because of the storm, the bus had lost TV reception, so there was basically nothing for the four kids to do at all, other than playing board games.

The four sat in one of the bunk rooms, playing a game of Monopoly on a fold-out table Oregon had dug out from a cupboard in the bathroom. South Dakota sat on the bed as she held a bowl of chicken noodle soup, still recovering from her incident with her sister - that is, recovering physically _and_ emotionally. As for the actual game, Hawaii seemed to be trying very hard to win, though his hotels at the very bottom of the board weren't in a good neighborhood. Meanwhile, Virginia built up her empire in Marvin Gardens, as Oregon sat in jail for the third turn in a row. South Dakota wasn't actually playing; whenever her turn came along, she simply directed Virginia to just roll for her, and let her know of any decisions she might have to make.

"Yes, I _will_ buy Vermont Avenue..." Hawaii muttered, dishing out one hundred dollars for the transaction. "High class. I'm gonna get rich now."

Virginia eyed a few of the other properties, and handed over Vermont Avenue, being the banker. "Right, well, _I'm_ gonna roll now," she said, sending the dice skittering across the stationary board, forcing up a pair of ones. She frowned, and sent her thimble from Tennessee to Free Parking. Hawaii smirked, and said, "Well, too bad there's no money in the middle. Otherwise, you'd be _pretty rich._"

Virginia raised an eyebrow in response, and said, "Uh, you don't put money in the middle. It's against the rules. You're supposed to put all dues in the bank."

"No you're not! I played this all the time with my granny, and she said we're s'posed to put the money in the middle!"

The two of them bickered like that for a few more minutes, arguing over that one little insignificant thing. Eventually, Oregon stood up, groaned, and said, "I'm gonna go heat up some food. South, do you want some more soup?" She nodded quietly, and Oregon walked out, leaving Virginia and Hawaii to sit in silence, reflecting on how silly their discourse was. They'd made it to the _finals,_ and they were actually arguing over whether or not money went in the center of the board during Monopoly.

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_221_mp3**

"Hm. Okay, so North got kicked off. By her own sister. How sick is that? And now I don't even have anybody to follow. I guess I _could_ go with Virginia, but... maybe... I'll be my own leader. I could be the leader of the finalists! Haha! Sucks about North, though. I thought I was gonna, y'know... get it on with her. We'd be, like, the couple of the year. So, I guess when I win, I'll have to give her some of the cash. No biggie. My biggest obstacle's probably gonna be leadin' this group of misfits."

Hawaii

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_222_mp3**

"I... feel a lot better. After what happened. But I still don't feel good, obviously. She's still my sister, and... and I still love her. Even though she may have literally tried to kill me a few days ago. She's just so... determined. I'm not sure how I can explain it. When she took control of the entirety of Team Dakota, months ago, she just became so... _enthralled_ with power. She thought she would be like a queen. And she just got progressively _worse_ and _worse_ - going to terrible lengths to eliminate people - and eventually she just completely lost her regard for other humans. And... in that moment? If I didn't do anything - if voted for Virginia, North would have won. And her victory would only confirm this show's corruption.

South Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_223_mp3**

"I guess I should feel happy or something. I'm in the final four, and I'm... _generally_ friends with everybody. It was a long journey to get here. I still can't believe North's out of the game. Like... I'd always thought it would be me versus her in the end. Y'know? Like, a final showdown. That's probably pretty narcissistic of me to say, though."

Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_224_mp3**

"I'm super excited to be this far in the game. I think Washington would be really proud of me! I feel sucky about supporting North Dakota and all that earlier, but now that she's gone... I guess it's smooth sailing to the end, as long as I don't, like, screw up a challenge or something. Which is likely, because I'm, um... me."

Oregon

**1:42 PM.**

Oregon walked into the kitchen area of the bus. The air was absolutely _freezing_, and his breath came out like a fog in front of his face. He approached the cupboard for food, paying little attention to the road around them. Around the bus, cars were being deserted, despite the relentless downfall of snow. Eventually, Chef grew irritable, yelling and pounding on his steering wheel for the cars to get out of the way. But it was no use. Oregon raised an eyebrow at Chef's discomfort, yet kept his attention on the cup of noodles he was putting inside the microwave.

When he looked back at Chef, all he saw was an empty seat. The door to the bus was open, and snow blasted into the bus. "What the heck...?" Oregon muttered, stepping forward to take a look. "Guys! Chef just left us! I think he went out in the snow storm!"

Within moments, the other three contestants stepped out of their bunk room to check out what was going on. "Did he... go _outside?_" South Dakota asked, stepping towards the frosted window and peeking out. Hawaii made a disapproving noise, and yelled, "Man, this already sucks. I bet we're gonna be late for the challenge. And then Chris'll be mad at us. Where'd Chef go?"

The four stood in silence for a moment, contemplating the situation. And then, figures appeared outside in the snow, lumbering towards them. "There are _people_ out there?" Virginia whispered, peering through the windows. "It's gotta be _freezin'..._ this is unbelievable. What are they even doing?"

With a certain degree of horror, they realized the stumbling pedestrians weren't normal people, instead harboring a hungry gleam in their eyes and a thirst for blood. "Oh, is this the challenge?" Oregon asked, watching the zombies approach the bus. "Maybe we should close the door. I'm not sure what Chris wants us to do."

"You _kidding me?_" Hawaii shouted, rushing up to slam the bus door shut as a few of the zombies began banging on the bus's walls. "Yo, when would Chris _ever_ send the zombie interns out in a _snow storm?_ Not even to _mention_ the friggin' fact that we're in the middle of the highway and there's _no way_ he would begin a challenge now. We gotta get out of here."

"We had a zombie challenge at a gas station a while ago..." South Dakota pointed out, though she seemed unsure herself. "Well, okay - doesn't matter whether or not it's a challenge!" reminded Virginia, already looking around the bus for the air-soft guns. "We gotta do whatever Chris wants to do, and that's to survive. Look around for the guns. C'mon, lend me a hand, you guys." Instantly, the other three contestants dug around the bus to look for any kind of weaponry, but the only thing discovered was all the silverware in the drawers, which hardly qualified. "Okay, new plan," Hawaii cried, running up to the steering wheel and sitting down at the driver's seat. "_I'm driving!_"

"_What?_" Virginia asked, but Hawaii had no time to elaborate, because he cranked up the engine, put the gear into drive, and stamped down on the accelerator, throwing South Dakota, Oregon, and Hawaii onto the floor. The bus swerved around the car in front of it, and sped along the side of the road, narrowly missing a rather startled looking zombie that jumped out of the way at the last second. "Be _careful!_ Please!" South Dakota yelled, but the only thing on Hawaii's mind was getting away from the danger. The bus revved louder, speeding against the snow storm and out of the area.

"Ohhh, gawd, I do not like this..." Oregon gasped, holding onto the kitchen table for support. "Can you slow it down? Er - do you have your license?"

To slow down the bus, Hawaii reasoned that he had to stamp down as hard as he possibly could on the brake pedal. When he did, the bus skidded fifty yards, nearly overturned, and went rolling into a snow-coated ditch, coming to a stop against a tree and sending everyone toppling to the ground.

"We're here!" Hawaii yelled, bolting up. Indeed, the bus had sunk down into an absolutely snow-filled ditch. The piles of white seemed to rise all the way up to the windows. It would be impossible to walk around out there. "I don't like this at all..." Oregon mumbled, as the air in the bus dropped to a frigid low. "What do we do? I assume we weren't supposed to _do that_ for the challenge..."

"Well, we gotta do _something..._" Virginia decided, dusting herself off and putting on a jacket. She approached the bus's doors, and pried them apart, letting in the cold air. "I'm goin' out there and finding some _help._ You guys comin'?" Oregon and Hawaii nodded determinedly, while South Dakota backed away, confused. "Maybe we should stay here?" she reasoned quietly. "Chris is probably looking for us right now. We'd be kind of bad for him to lose."

"This isn't a challenge!" reminded Hawaii sternly, following Virginia out into the cold, though appearing to be absolutely ill-prepared for the weather. "Unless y-you w-w-want some z-zombie to get in here, and - and eat you, then you'll f-follow us. Alright? Yo, we'll find help soon, don't worry. And I doubt _this_ bus is any use to us anymore..."

His logic wasn't _entirely_ sound, but it was enough to convince everybody into climbing right out of that bus and into the frigid wastelands of the state of North Dakota. "We go inside the first building we find," Virginia promised, drawing in her arms against the blizzard to conserve heat. "And if there are any problems, then we all come _straight back here._ Okay? It's dangerous to wander around in a blizzard..."

"Is it _really?_" South Dakota asked, a twinge of sarcasm in her voice. Virginia tried to smile weakly at her, but couldn't bring forth the effort; the four were mainly concerned with getting to safety for the time being. Hunkered down, they trudged through the snow away from the highway and towards whatever safety lay beyond. Within moments, their world was enveloped in a harsh, unforgiving white.

**2:31 PM.**

"Quick, lie him down on the table."

Virginia, frost-covered and carrying a limp Hawaii, set him down on a long metal table. The four had trekked to what appeared to be an abandoned construction site on the edge of Fargo; snow-covered, but still providing some protection against the intense winds of the blizzard. They didn't arrive before Hawaii suddenly collapsed, however; he hadn't spoken for around ten minutes, which was odd of him. Minutes later, he'd fallen into the snow; his lips were a deep blue, and chunks of ice clung to his eyelashes. "Use my coat," Oregon said, tossing his heavy winter jacket to South Dakota, who used it to cover Hawaii. "This is what happens when you send a kid from the tropics to North Dakota..." South Dakota murmured, gently removing the ice from his body. "It's cold enough here as it is."

The blizzard around the abandoned construction site seemed to slowly be dying down, though heavier clouds coated the sky, making an ominous darkness envelop the land. "I think we need a fire or something," Virginia suggested, sitting down on a snow-frosted steel beam and rubbing her hands together. "That's what they do in zombie apocalypses, right? They make fires?"

"I still think this could be a challenge," South Dakota pointed out, putting more and more layers of warmth on Hawaii's immobile form. "From Chris, that is. I wouldn't, um... be surprised. Thought I doubt all of this was supposed to happen. See, if we had _cell phones_ with us, then maybe we could call for help..."

Of course, their phones had been confiscated near the beginning of the season, so that plan was nullified. A low, mournful wind blew over the site, heightening their discomfort. "God, it is _cold_ up here..." Virginia muttered again, holding her arms close to her body. "You're _sure_ this is a challenge? Why would Chris send a bunch of - of _interns_ out in the snow? In the middle of the highway? And where did Chef go that entire time?"

"I don't know! I'm busy, Virg'," South protested, fretting over Hawaii's condition. "Our main goal right now is to get Hawaii up and running again. Until we do that, then we stay right here."

Virginia sat back down on the beam, her head resting on the palms of her hands, while Oregon hovered nearby South Dakota, watching her keep Hawaii warm. Several minutes passed; Hawaii's color returned to normal, but he seemed no closer to waking back up. "We need weapons, I think..." Oregon mused, worriedly fidgeting with his arm, and glancing around the construction site. "Because if there are zombies around..."

"We haven't seen zombies since the highway," South Dakota interrupted, sighing and taking a seat on a barrel. "We're fine. Chris is probably going out of his _mind_ trying to find us in this blizzard... what if he found the bus? I bet he'd think we're dead." Oregon nodded, while Virginia stood, walking around the construction site, exploring. "Where are you going?" Oregon yelled, but Virginia just waved an unconcerned hand his way.

"My grandpa worked in construction!" she yelled, gazing over the structure. "On my mom's side." She ran a hand down the side of a concrete wall - felt around - and closed her fingers around the handle of an ice-cold switch, pulling down, and turning on the-

Bright lights were suddenly illuminated over the entire site, making her squint. "Whoa! I found the lights!" Virginia announced, waving a hand. "I think maybe we'll be able to see better!" Oregon gave her a thumbs up, right when-

BEEEEP. BEEEEP. BEEEEP. BEEEEP. BEE-

Oregon and South Dakota shrieked, clamping down their hands over their ears. "What the _hell?_" Virginia shouted, jerking at the light switch handle. "I - that activated an alarm or something - oh, _fuck_ - if there are zombies, then _we gotta get out of here!_ Someone get Hawaii!"

"Oh, crap, are zombies attracted to alarms?" Oregon asked, wide-eyed as the alarm blared on. Virginia shrugged, approaching the others, stating, "Probably. I don't wanna be around when they come. Someone - here - I'll grab Hawaii, but we gotta get out. Lend me a hand." Virginia and South Dakota grabbed each end of Hawaii, who remained unconscious throughout the whole thing, his condition rapidly deteriorating. Virginia swung him over her shoulder, and dashed out of the construction site, her hair whipping in the wind. "Wait up!" Oregon cried, as South Dakota gathered the clothing she'd been using to protect Hawaii. "Virginia - hey - wait _up!_"

Within moments, Virginia had disappeared into the fray, melting into the white snowfall. Oregon groaned, and grabbed South's hand, pulling her along. "We need to catch up with her," he said. "Come on." South Dakota abandoned some of the coats, and followed Oregon into the knee-deep snow, as the two were fully-accustomed to conditions like these. "She's going to get herself killed..." Oregon muttered, squinting into the white. "This way. I swear I saw her silhouette."

"Oregon - this is _dangerous!_" South Dakota whispered harshly, tugging at his grip. "It's _freezing out here!_ We have to stay back at the construction site!"

"There's an _alarm _going off back there!" yelled Oregon, who was struggling to fight the icy winds. "That k-kind of stuff is like a _dinner bell_ for zombies! We move away from it and _find V-Virginia_. And even if this _is_ j-j-just a challenge, do you _really_ want to let she and Hawaii get trapped out in a storm like this?" South Dakota couldn't argue against that, so she didn't press the issue further. The weather was growing worse by the second, however.

"C'mon..." Oregon shuddered, struggling against the snow. Because they'd been using most of their heavy clothing to warm Hawaii back up, they were largely exposed to the elements. "If w-we had Alaska here, I b-bet _she'd_ know what to do..." South Dakota gave Oregon a bewildered stare, and just continued through the blizzard.

Eventually, though, it became clear that Virginia was nowhere in sight. Oregon and South Dakota stood together, huddled for warmth, unsure of where to go next. They'd lost track of the old construction site, whose alarm couldn't be heard at all anymore, and Virginia and Hawaii were certainly too far away at this point. "What should we do?" Oregon asked, gazing around the blindingly white landscape, snow pelting the two.

...

"Uh. South?"

South Dakota became limp, and fell to the snow-covered ground, sinking a foot or two. Oregon yelped, eyes wide. "N-n-no!" he gasped, shaking her. "South! _Wake up!_ C'mon... _p-please!_" Manic tears turned to ice, falling against soft snow - eyesight faded, going from white to black - muscles failed, and then-

Oregon fell beside South Dakota, as the storm raged on: a dull thudding, blotted out by unconsciousness and ice.

**5:14 PM.**

"Another zombie challenge ruined. Ruined! Because _you kids_ couldn't just _follow Chef!_"_  
><em>

Chris stood in Sanford Health, a large hospital near downtown Fargo, North Dakota. A number of important-looking producers surrounded him, and volleys of press awaited outside the doors of the infirmary. In several beds along the wall, the contestants of The Fifty State Roadtrip rested. Virginia and South Dakota sat up straight in their beds, curiously watching the spectacle. In adjacent beds, Hawaii and Oregon lay, both still knocked out, though clearly much better than their original condition.

Chris seemed content on lecturing Virginia and South Dakota, despite them being only fifty percent of the total contestants. "Why couldn't you kids have just played along?" Chris asked, his arms hopelessly hanging limp as he faced the two. "Chef was waiting _outside _for you kids. He had the weapons ready! But no, Hawaii ended up taking the bus to - to like _half a mile_ down the road - we had to _fish that bus out of a ditch!_ In the middle of a snowstorm! And not only _that_, but Virginia showed up knocking on some poor resident of Fargo's door, getting the police called on her! And we found friggin' Oregon and South Dakota just lying in the middle of a field!"

He was pissed, that much was for sure. "Y'know these sponsorships bring in a _lot_ of money for the show," Chris sternly reminded, waggling his finger at the two. "More than you'd think. Since the _other_ zombie tie-in failed, I figured we could try again, but _nooo. _Now everything is _ruined._"

"To be fair, it was kind of a dumb idea to have a zombie challenge in the middle of a blizzard, while we were still driving on the highway," Virginia pointed out quietly, but Chris wasn't having any of it. Chris glared at the two, and glanced back at Oregon and Hawaii's unconscious forms. "Yeah, well..." Chris muttered, scratching his five-o-clock shadow. "I'm still not impressed. In fact, I am _very_ disappointed at you kids. Another ruined challenge."

Chris stood in silence for a few moments, evidently in contemplation. Quietly, South Dakota raised a hand, and asked, "Are we still gonna have a vote?"

A blink of the eyes from Chris. "Hell, _yes_, we are!" he shouted, that mad gleam of eagerness in his eyes. "I mean, we're still gonna capitalize a _ton _off of this episode. An episode where the kids _almost die?_ That's gonna be a sweet tagline. 'Not even Chris can save them.' Oh, yes. We're having a vote. Someone's going home tonight."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_225_mp3**

"Okay, sorry, but Chris is one crazy guy. We almost died out there. I scared a woman half to death when I was lookin' for help! I thought Oregon and South Dakota were dead! They half were, by the time the search party found them. I bet I could sue the show, except for the fact that I'm not exactly _rich._ I've only got one parent, and I'm livin' in the ghetto in Richmond? Yeah... I don't see a lawsuit in my future anytime soon."

Virginia

**6:42 PM.**

The four contestants sat in the same bunk room of the now-recovered bus, quietly sipping hot chocolate, wearing heavy blankets, and discussing the show so far. After such a near brush with death, they'd grown grateful for simply _being there, _and not lying in a field of snow as a blizzard raged on. The bus was already at the location for the voting ceremony, but a while still had to go by before the cameras were set up, and the voting was to begin. Therefore, the four teens sat, awaiting further instruction.

"I seriously can't believe the show's almost over..." South Dakota murmured, her knees drawn up tight to her body. "It's already been almost six months. When we started, it was the middle of summer." Oregon nodded in agreement, and said, "Gosh, I've changed so much since the beginning of the show... looking back on my life before the show... I just seemed so immature, and dumb... and untruthful to myself. I guess I've improved a lot since then. I wonder if Washington's watching."

Hawaii chuckled quietly, and said, "Yeah, he's watchin', don't worry, Oregon. I'm pretty sure he could've won this show if he wanted to badly enough, but he didn't, and... I _bet_ that's 'cause of you."

Oregon blushed, and sat in silence, day-dreaming about whatever came to mind for him. Virginia's head snapped up, and she said, "I just can't believe it was _us_ who got this far. I never would've expected it. I thought... maybe _Ohio_. Or maybe New York, or Arizona. But definitely not me. And... uh..."

She suddenly glanced at everyone else, indicating that she could hardly believe _they_ were in the finals with her. "Well... _anyway..._" Virginia muttered, shaking her head slightly. "It's just kind of a shame that Hawaii's going to be voted off tonight."

Hawaii bolted upright, staring at them. "Huh?" he asked, alarmed. "Wait, what?"

South Dakota nodded sadly in agreement. "Yeah..." she mumbled. "We're going to miss you, Hawaii. Even though you blatantly supported my sister and almost got us killed today."

"Now, hold on," protested Hawaii, who stood up from his seat at the bunk. "We didn't talk about this. When was it decided? Guys, I'm going to the final three - c'mon - _how cool would it be to have my state for the finale? _So cool, right?"

"I just thought it was a logical progression that we'd vote for you," Oregon bluntly stated, staring up at his old teammate. "I mean, you supported North Dakota and all that, and then later acted like it was nothing. Plus, I dunno, the fans are kind of thinking it would be outrageous for you to get anywhere near the finale, and their sentiments kind of make sense..."

Hawaii was downright panicking now. The fact that everyone had evidently decided this a long time ago was seriously disconcerting him. But before he had time to argue otherwise, Chris's voice from outside yelled, "Alright, kids! Come on out! We're ready for voting!" And just like that, the four contestants walked out into the cold, hiemal North Dakotan air for the penultimate voting session.

**6:58 PM.**

"Glad you could make it!" Chris yelled, the four kids stepping out of the bus. Hawaii's eyes were wide and terrified. "You all know the drill. Write down who you're voting for one a piece of paper and submit it into the top hat. This should be an easy voting ceremony tonight, from what I can tell. I'm excited for the final three."

Slowly, they all submitted their choices for elimination. Chris pulled out a bag of snacks, in which he'd only bought three bags of chips. "I love how as the show goes on, snacks grow cheaper," Chris cheerily announced, showing them a Sour Cream bag of Lays for emphasis. "And food prices. And gas prices. And a lot of other things. Anyways. Let's do this." He counted up the votes, made a little mark on his clipboard, and promptly yelled, "Oregon! No votes!"

The bag of Sour Cream and Onions went to him, and he smiled, grateful. Chris grinned, and tossed the next bag to South Dakota. "No votes for you, either, girl," he told her with a smile. "Which leaves Virginia and Hawaii! But I'm pretty sure it's no contest as to who's going home. So... I'm going to avoid the stress and unnecessary drama, and go ahead and say Virginia. One vote. Ranch Doritos for you."

Virginia caught the bag with the knowledge of her spot on the show. "_What?_" Hawaii yelled, though he wasn't entirely surprised, having known the result before Chris even announced it. "Yo, guys, this is unfair - hold up - _wait!_ This isn't fair! I don't even get a say in the matter?"

"You do!" Chris corrected, pointing at Virginia. "You voted for Virginia for whatever reason. That's a say. Because _I_ say so. Quit complaining and go home. You'll get your consolation prize in the mail. Probably."

Hawaii jumped to his feet, absolutely livid. "I'm not going home!" he shouted indignantly. "I deserve a spot on this show! I spent _six months on those buses!_ C'mon, I've got... I've got so much, y'know... _plot_ to me!"

"Not really," Chris pointed out, as Hawaii's bag was thrown to him by an intern. "You really didn't do much up until you joined Team Science in the middle of Act 3. And then you fell out and went on North Dakota's side. Doesn't sound much like character development to me! Sorry, dude, but it's the taxi for you!"

A grumbling Hawaii stomped over to the taxi, where he promptly gave Chris the finger in defiance of what he said. "Yo, I'm gonna be famous!" he reminded Chris. "Just wait! I'm not supposed to go like this!" Chris gave a friendly, if a little sarcastic wave at Hawaii. "See ya later, dude!" he yelled. "Kind of sucks to be eliminated this late! I know." He then faced the final three: South Dakota, Oregon, and Virginia. "So. Looks like you're the final three, huh?" he muttered, scratching his head. "Right. Great. Hope you aren't too peeved about the whole 'abandoning you kids in a blizzard' thing. Totally my bad on that one. Gonna say that wasn't cool of me."

...

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_226_mp3**

"So... I guess I'm in the final three? _Past_ my sister? Past my sister's giant shadow, that I've been forced to live in my entire life? And... I'm competing against people I actually _like._ I wouldn't mind losing to them at all. It's just so... _liberating_ to be away from my sister. To make a name for myself! Even if I only end up getting in third. Because, see, I'm okay with that. The three of us are actually _united._ Nobody's trying to back stab the other. Oregon's got his thing, where he wants to give some of his money to Washington. Virginia's got hers, where she actually really _needs_ the money for her family - and I've got my thing, where I plan on not letting North Dakota have a _penny_."

South Dakota

**ELIMINATED**:**** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, Texas, Arizona, Massachusetts, North Dakota, and Hawaii.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **StayOuttaMyShed, ElizabethLifeStone, BabyIt'sBrynlee, Winkie4, Anna Blake, Ali6132, Spiderwick11, and Guest!

**aspiringAnimator** - This chapter was only about five thousand words - partly because there are so few characters left. Gonna address the thing about Hawaii. See, the thing about him, is that he latches on to whoever he believes is going to win. Early on, that didn't matter - he latched onto his team, and that worked well enough. Later on, though, he was presented with a choice between Team Science and New York's alliance with the southerners, and he chose Team Science, because he believed they would win. When Team Science fell out, he chose North Dakota, because he believed _she_ would win. When _she_ fell out, he decided that _he_ would be leader for a change, but that didn't really work out for him, and he almost made everyone literally die. In the end, he really is kind of an opportunistic bastard, but is still a good guy overall, despite supporting North Dakota near the end.

By the way... I want to clear something up right now. We're having an Aftermath next. Yep. With a voting ceremony. It'll be a little different - game show style - but it will determine the final two! Sorry about people excited to see Hawaii's location - and that _was_ in the plan before I decided to make Aftermaths - but it's no longer necessary. The finale will be staged in Washington, DC, just like the very first episode. Kind of makes it full circle, and allows me for more potential for the finale.

Sorry about the late chapter, in the final minutes of 11 PM! I'm on finals week, and I just took the ACT on Saturday, so I'm kind of on edge. See you guys on Wednesday! Be sure to review!


	49. Aftermath 4

**AFTERMATH TEAMS**

**Supporting Oregon** - Hawaii, North Dakota, and Washington.

**Supporting South Dakota** - California, New York, and Texas.

**Supporting Virginia** - Arizona and Massachusetts.

**EPISODE 48: AFTERMATH 4**

_"Aw, lighten up, York! Embrace your antagonism!" - Blaineley_

**Wednesday, December 17th, 2014. Toronto, Canada. 6:00 PM.**

"Welcome! To all viewers watching _me_, Blaineley O'Halloran... _welcome_ to the last Aftermath for... _The Fifty State Roadtrip!_"_  
><em>

A crowd cheered, applauding the self-indulged woman on stage, who bowed majestically, both her beauty and vanity unmatched. She oversaw her dominion of raving fans for the show, all eager to watch the penultimate elimination live. Apart from the finale, this would be one of the most important boot-off yet, and would still count as the next-to-last real episode. The end had arrived, and it came in a huge cry of-

"_BLAINELEY! BLAINELEY! BLAINELEY! BLAINELEY!_" the crowd roared, chanting for the woman who, at one point, had hosted The Fifty State Roadtrip herself. She bowed again, smirking with the satisfaction of knowing she had so many adoring fans. Though she _had_ been forcefully removed from the show, that did nothing to her career. As they say, there's no such thing as bad publicity; her career skyrocketed after the scandal, and she came to be featured on Oprah, later writing an autobiography and becoming a regular host for a multitude of shows. With this one last adieu to The Fifty State Roadtrip, she would be transcending the bonds of her past life as a shabby show host, going on to becoming Canada's next top celebrity. Of course, she was still the same demanding, rude, gossiping woman she'd ever been.

"We've got a night of _excitement_, _scandal, and more!_" Blaineley revealed, her devilish grin charming the world. "Oh, yes, this will be an Aftermath _to be remembered._ But first, we need to meet our _losers!_ Hailing all the way from the west coast, we have the beautiful - the bold - the _superficial_ - _Californiaaa!_ Come on stage, and say _hello_ to the millions!"

California excitedly popped up on stage, waving wildly at the crowd and giggling ecstatically. "_Hiii!_" she greeted, wearing a beautiful pink dress and a happy grin. "I am, like, _sooo_ happy to be here. So I'm on camera _right now?_ As in, I'm _on TV?_"

Blaineley nodded slowly, staring at California with a somewhat entertained expression on her face. "Yes, you _are!_" she cried. "So. Callie. How was your time on the show? Is there anything you regretted? Anything you want to add? People you want to _denounce?_" Blaineley hungrily searched California for clues, who put a hand on her cheek and said, "Hmm. Anything I _regretted?_ Well... I mean, I _guess_ befriending North Dakota. She was _not_ a nice person. Definitely not. But I liked doing the show! It was _sooo_ much fun. Oh, did you know there's like _two feet of snow outside?_"

The exclamation seemed to surprise Blaineley. "Uh. Yes. This is Canada," Blaineley pointed out rather dully. "It's been snowing for the past week or so. Anyway! What was your reaction when you found out North Dakota was voted off _by her own sister?_ It's simply _scandalous!_ Oh, _think_ about the stress during the family reunions. Hm. And then she tried to _kill you!_ Talk about _overkill_. Hah! Am I right?"

California backed away from Blaineley, laughed nervously at the audience, and quietly mumbled, "I'm going to go sit down now."

"_Fabulous!_" Blaineley screamed, clapping her hands together giddily. "Ohhh, terrific. Next up... is _Washington_. The kid who could've easily taken home that prize. Washington, _come on stage _and speak to your loving fans!"

She waited for a moment as Washington strode on stage, dressed in a somewhat stylish looking suit and tie and waving at the audience. He was wearing a rainbow wristband and had his hair done for the occasion. "Hello!" he greeted, shaking Blaineley's hand. She seemed impressed, and commented, "Well, Washington, _you_ certainly have done a lot this season. Early on, you took Team Victory by the reigns, leading it to survive onto the merge. After that, you formed an alliance in the early days of Team Freedom, earning you some enemies... _especially_ after you started dating Oregon, who's _still in the game!_ But in an incident in which everyone began hating how likely to win you were, you were the first to go among the ten finalists. How have you fared since your elimination last month?"

Washington considered it. "Um... mainly I've just been pretty active in getting viewers to support Oregon," he told her, gesturing vaguely in ways that did not help. "Like, two weeks ago I was on Good Morning America for a little bit. That was cool. That said, I'm pretty excited that he's in the top three. Now that North's thankfully out of the game, I really think he has a chance to win."

"What about when Oregon began supporting North Dakota?" Blaineley demanded, holding a microphone right up to Washington's face at an uncomfortable proximity. "How did you feel _then?_ Were you shocked? Heartbroken? _Spiteful?_" Washington took a step back from Blaineley, a little unraveled, and countered, "No. I thought he was an idiot for a little bit. But obviously I kept supporting him. Luckily, he eventually did the smart thing and joined up with Virginia, but I was pretty worried for a while there."

"_Excellent!_" Blaineley cried. "Washington, we'll pay more attention to you a little while later. For now, though, we need to introduce a few of the other, slightly more _important_ ex-contestants! New York? _Come on up!_ That's your cue!"

Washington took his seat beside California in the peanut gallery, right when New York appeared on stage, wearing a somewhat formal suit and a grim, yet satisfied expression. "Hello," he said to Blaineley, waving. "Everyone's favorite 'antagonist' is here. I guess I have to do this?"

"Aw, lighten up, York!" Blaineley yelled, patting him on the back and sneering at the audience. "Embrace your antagonism! You were a _bad guy!_ Or - at least, you _aligned_ yourself with the bad guys, and did some bad things! That qualifies you!"

New York faced Blaineley, his expression livid. "Okay, first off, I did a _hell_ of a lot better than a lot of other guys on the show," he snapped. "I made a bunch of decisions I regretted. I seriously regret them. Like... like cheating to get Maine kicked off. Or aligning with North Dakota at one point. But that, uh, doesn't matter. I _regret_ the choices I made. And honestly, I don't think many of _you_ would've fared much better when placed in my position."

He indicated the audience, which went absolutely silent. Blaineley eyed New York suspiciously, and promptly said, "I'm not entirely sure if you're in a position to challenge this show's fanbase! After all, you _were_ the one who was voted off last month. Actually - you know _what?_ We should _watch that clip!_"

York's eyes widened, as he stammered, "No, I - no, Blaineley, we don't need to see-"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_22_mp3**

_"New York, this bag of gummy worms goes to North Dakota! You got four votes, and she got three! Sorry, York! You're going home!"_

_A blank, dawning realization overtook his face. "Oh, fuck..." he muttered, rubbing his eyes. "No. It's fine. York, you can do this - I can do this - just don't cry - it's okay-"_

_He took a long, shaky intake of breath, and surveyed the eight remaining contestants. "Everybody," he said slowly, "um... I guess I've been voted off. Uh... is... anybody going to miss me?" To that, only Texas raised his hand, though it was sort of half-assedly. "Right..." New York mumbled, a little heartbroken. "I... guess I'll be off, then..."_

Blaineley smirked at a crimson-cheeked New York, and told him, "I think maybe you should take a seat. You lost your chance to shine on the show, honey."

New York was about to protest, but realized it would probably be pretty fruitless while on live television, so he dropped the subject, grumbling as he took a seat in the peanut gallery with Washington and California, the two of whom glanced at him nervously. Blaineley snapped her finger, and proceeded to yell, "We need to get this show on the road. There's just _so many contestants to meet!_ Texas! Come on up! Everyone's eager to meet the very last southerner from the show, not counting Virginia."

With New York's departure, Texas arrived, wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey and a fun-loving smile. "Hey, all o' y'all!" he cheered, waving at the huge audience in the theater. "I'm Tex! I got in eighth place!" Blaineley gestured for him to stop waving at the cameras, and smiled sweetly, trying to draw in his attention. "So! _Texas._ You got the _farthest_ out of everyone in your team. One by one, all of your brethren from Team Touchdown were taken out. How did that make you feel? Abandoned? Hurt? Confused? Go on, you can tell me _all about it._ I don't _bite._"

"I feel awesome!" Texas cried, still smiling stupidly. "I'm on TV!"

"Yes - you've been on television for the past five months," Blaineley cut in, rather annoyed now. "Tell me. How was your _experience? _While you were on the show. Not how you're feeling right now." Texas frowned, and said, "It was cool, I guess. Lotta fun. Kinda confusin' at some points. I really like havin' so many fans! Did you know I got a football blog? Here - I got predictions for the rest of the season, an' - an' accordin' to _this _website - I found it on The Google - _this_ website says the Dallas Cowboys are gonna win, an' I gotta agree, 'cause-"

"Well, that's all the time we have for you!" Blaineley loudly yelled, pushing a hand into Texas's face. "Bye-bye, Texas. Go take your seat. We've still got four more ex-contestants left to reveal, so we're already halfway there! Everybody, put your hands together... for the fan favorite _Arizona!_ Come on up!"

Texas walked back to the peanut gallery dejectedly, as Arizona walked on stage, smiling brilliantly and wearing the same beautiful, scarlet dress she'd wore that one time for the singing challenge, back in Cleveland. In fact, Arizona held a striking resemblance to Blaineley at the moment, though Arizona had a much younger, softer, and generally nicer facial expression. "Hi!" she said, shaking Blaineley's hand and gazing a bit nervously out at the entirety of the audience. "Wow, uh... hah, um... hi everyone. I'm 'Arizona'."

Blaineley screamed with laughter, as though Arizona had said something quite amusing. "Say hello to Arizona, everybody!" Blaineley yelled, pointing at Arizona in a vaguely mocking manner. "She is _here!_ How was the flight? Not too bad? I assume after spending five months on a few buses, you were _quite_ happy to get some off-time!"

Arizona nodded abashedly, avoiding eye contact with Blaineley. "I'm really excited to be here," she pointed out, as though she couldn't think of anything else to say. "Really. It, um... well... I, um, had a fun time on the show. I met a lot of incredible people, and traveled all over the country. I started dating New Mexico, and was absolutely _astounded_ when I found out he was rooting for me the whole way through. Um, seriously... he's the best."

The audience cheered at that, as wolf-whistles resonated into the air for Arizona, who blushed a bright red. Blaineley raised her eyebrows, faintly amused, and said, "Oh, yes, your relationship with New Mexico was _definitely_ the talk of the season. You two were so cute. All the time. I _would_ put in a montage right now all about your moments with him, buuut... we're saving our montage time for later." Arizona frantically shook her head, reassuring, "No, no - that's perfectly fine, I do _not_ want a montage. At all. Thank you, though."

"Well, alright!" Blaineley decided, pointing towards the peanut gallery. "Take a seat, Arizona. We still have a few more contestants to greet. Everyone, say _hello_ to one of the most-liked contestants of the season! He came in sixth, and his name is... _Massachusetts!_ Say hi to everyone!"

Massachusetts, smiling, walked on stage, dressed handsomely in an attractive suit with a purple tie. His hands were deep in his pockets, and he smiled nervously at the audience, who all simply went wild at the sight of him. Nobody knew why he was so well-liked, but that didn't matter - over the last week or two, he'd found himself at the forefront of the Total Drama fan base, after he'd uploaded an extensive video of exactly what he thought of every single contestant who'd participated on the show that he knew. This made some waves.

"So! Massachusetts!" Blaineley cried, as though everybody did not know that was him. "How are the top of the polls? Does it feel nice up there? Even since the very _beginning,_ you dominated the show's opinion polls. Nobody knows why! But you went on to be _deeply_ involved in a number of important alliances on the show. In the end, you got in sixth, after an auto-elimination! Had that night been an actual vote, you probably would've gotten much farther in the game. Do you have any thoughts about your time on the show?"

Massachusetts stood still, glancing nervously back at the peanut gallery where his old teammates sat. "Um... yeah, I do," he said quietly, and the auditorium went silent. "I've had a lot of time to think about the events of the past six months, and I've realized... that there is no clearly defined good and bad. People who originally seemed bad... often had good enough intentions. It was a really hectic time for everybody, and... I don't really think I took that into consideration. For a long time, I held grudges that were unfair against... people who didn't deserve them."

New York listened both quietly and intently, eyes focused on Massachusetts. Blaineley nodded solemnly at Massachusetts's speech, and said, "Hm. Wise advice from a kid. Who knew that was possible? Not me!" Massachusetts seemed a little taken aback, as Blaineley pointed a thick thumb at the peanut gallery and commanded, "Sit. We've got two more contestants still, and the _next one_, well... _I'm_ a little interested in getting to know. Everybody say _hello..._ to _North Dakota!_"

North Dakota strode on stage - emotionless, professional, and grim... though almost robotic in her seriousness. Rehearsed, even. "Good evening," North said immediately, thrusting forward a hand for Blaineley to shake. "It's a, ah... _pleasure_ to be here."

"Is it?" Blaineley asked, cocking her head to one side, evidently enjoying this. "North, I understand that _you_ wanted that prize _most of all,_" she said, tone growing dark. "You certainly went to some _very_ deep ends to get what you wanted. And now, the three finalists are all contestants you've opposed at one point or another, yet you've chosen Oregon. Why?"

"I've always supported Oregon," North Dakota stated bluntly, brushing the hair out of her face and surveying Blaineley with a sort of cold disapproval. "I'm his mentor, after all. Had the two of us gotten _further,_ we could _really_ have dealt some damage to the others. Whether Oregon knows it or not, his position in the final three is _all because of me._ I helped him get there, and I'm going to help him win."

"Funny! Because he _did_ vote you off!" Blaineley cheerily pointed out. "Along with the _other two finalists!_ It seems like you were forced to pick between three people you _absolutely despised._ Am I far off the mark? No? Because I think I'm _right about this._ North Dakota, you are outright _furious you were kicked off._ By your sister, no less! So, you've set out to destroy your sister in every way possible. You would never even _dream_ of allying with Oregon, in any other situation, but-"

"Shut the fuck up," North Dakota spat, as network producers frantically began screaming into Blaineley's earpiece about the profanity. "I'm here because I _have to be here._ So I'll play your little game. And when Oregon wins, I'm getting the money."

"Uh, yeah, Oregon doesn't like you," Washington suddenly pointed out, standing up from the peanut gallery. "He's not going to give you any of that money. In fact, he ought to keep it for himself - I don't even want it. He earned it, after all." North Dakota ignored Washington, as Blaineley adjusted her earpiece, stating, "_Well_, miss delinquent - we've got a _special program just for you._ I'm sure you've guessed what it is. It's become a sort of tradition at this point!"

A roll of the eyes from North Dakota. "You're going to show a montage of every moment I've been awful to people. Is that it?" she asked, head tilted to one side. Blaineley nodded, smirking at North. "Good. You're learning!" Blaineley told her. "Interns? _Roll the clips!_"

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_23_mp3**

_Chris sighed. "Okay. Terrific leadership already. Figure out a name, and we can-"_

_"Team Dakota," a voice suddenly rang out. A lone eyebrow crept up Chris's face. "Uh, sorry?"_

_North Dakota stepped forward. "You want us to have a name that shows off our good qualities, right?"_

_"Um. Yeah, but-"_

_"Then Team Dakota."_

_There was a brief silence, but nobody from the team seemed willing to argue. "Okay! Team Dakota it is, then," Chris decided with a smug grin._

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_24_mp3**

_"March!" North Dakota ordered to her seven soldiers. South Dakota walked beside her, as the team marched through the farmlands outside Providence. The forty-six contestants were beginning to thin now, as people who couldn't keep up began to be left behind. Not from Team Dakota, however. Everyone marched in a straight line, heading west. "You are infantry!" she cried. "We are leading the march to Connecticut! You must keep up. That includes you, Iowa! Stay in formation!"_

_"My legs are hurting!" he complained. North Dakota groaned. "Where's my thrall? Oklahoma!"_

_"Yes, Glorious Leader?" Oklahoma asked with a wavering voice. "Find me a long stick or something!" North Dakota ordered. "I need to hit Iowa with it."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_25_mp3**

_Minnesota screamed, "It was North Dakota all along! She - she hid my phone after they were supposed to be taken by you-"_

_"Likely story!" Chris decided, and lifted Minnesota, who was kicking at North Dakota. "Into the taxi you go!"_

_"SHE CHEATED!" Minnesota screamed, throwing away all haughty dignity she possessed moments ago. "Everyone! Remember what I said! She will take you down without hesitation! I-"  
><em>

_Minnesota was thrown into the taxi. A car door slammed, and a lock placed on the door by the driver. Chris gave a friendly wave as the car drove off. "Bye!" he yelled. "Have a fun ride back home! Alright, kids, we gotta be in Minnesota by this weekend. Who wants to play 'evade my network producers and become heroes'? I do!"_

_Team Dakota kept staring, even after the spectacle ended. North Dakota whistled, and clapped her hands. "Into the buses, everyone!" she yelled. "We have some... things to discuss with a few of you."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_26_mp3**

_"Nebraska, you are the unworthiest sack of potatoes to fall into the hands of my team. Time and time again you've failed what you were assigned. You're weird, and fail to recognize even the most basic of cognitive functions, such as how to tell when trying to assist a rebellion is a futile endeavor. You're cowardly, weak, spineless, and are unable to tell the difference between even the most basic of trigonometric ratios, which are remarkably simple. Everything you say is a stuttered mess and you piss yourself every time you mess up at anything, which is often. Have you ever wondered what that hollow, desolate sound is, emanating through every crevice of your psyche? It's your incredibly obvious lack of a soul. You're welcome."_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_27_mp3**

_"Callie, please, just... do as my sister says," South Dakota begged, horrified at the current turn of events. North Dakota merely rolled her eyes, and said, "Yeah, 'Callie'. Do as I say, and I can make you rich. And even if you don't, I'll still be tied with their alliance. And I will build my alliance past the merge, mark my words. Mark my fucking words."_

_"You're... you're insane," California eventually muttered, staring straight at North Dakota. "I thought you were an okay person! You were - you listened to me! I thought you just wanted to be friends, but no!"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_28_mp3**

_North gave South Dakota another shove, almost sending her toppling. "Wake up!" North seethed. "We are in a game show! There is no democracy! You vote with me, and that's final. You don't pick it yourself. You vote with your sister. I mean, who would you choose, if you saw your sister and someone who's practically a stranger, burning in a house fire? You'd save your sister!"_

_South Dakota didn't respond, merely continuing to back away in fear. People were beginning to notice the two now. "I - North, please-"_

_"Answer me! You're supposed to support your sister!"_

_"NO!"_

**t50sr_aftermath_flashback_29_mp3**

_South cried in pain, sinking to her knees, as Chris yelled, "Hey - hey! NORTH! YOU STOP THAT!"_

_North Dakota brought her sister down to the snow-covered ground, a cruel madness in her eyes as her sister coughed. "This is what you fucking get," North whispered, cold determination in her eyes. "All this time. I thought you were with me. I thought you were my fucking sister. You are nothing. You don't even deserve to be in this competition. The only reason they even let you on this show was because of me. Without me, you wouldn't have even got this far-"_

_WHAM. North Dakota was clocked in the face by Chef himself, who gave her a toothy snarl._

The clips ended there. North Dakota, watching the screen from her position on the stage, seemed to be trying very hard to control herself. "So I suppose this is what you want?" North asked Blaineley quietly. "For me to flip out or something? One last final outburst before I go? That would do _wonders _for your career, Blaineley. I'm tempted to outright attack you right now just to _help you out._ What do you say?"

Blaineley took a few steps back away from North Dakota, who laughed, and said, "Sarcasm, Blaineley. That said, I don't appreciate your tactics at trying to arouse my emotions against certain disowned family members. Certain family members who I am not, apparently, allowed to get within five hundred yards now." Blaineley wasn't sure whether or not to be terrified or intrigued by North Dakota. "Um... let's go with the final ex-contestant!" Blaineley quickly cried, pushing North Dakota towards the peanut gallery. "Nobody's really sure how he got as far as he did - or _why_ - but here's Hawaii! Hop up on stage!"

Hawaii swaggered into view of the cameras, grinning handsomely and soaking in his fame, which was relatively new to him. "Hello, popular people!" he greeted, waving vaguely at the audience. "How are all of you doing? Man, I am on _fire._" Blaineley approached him slowly, and said, "So! Hawaii. _You_ had quite the time on the show! Everyone expected you to be an early out after the second merge, but _no_ - you went on to get in _fourth_, mainly because you aligned yourself with North Dakota, bolstering the both of your strengths. Of course, this alliance eventually failed after Oregon dropped out, but you served as North Dakota's only supporter into the finals, mainly for romantic reasons! Do you still see yourself as fit for a relationship with North Dakota?"

He turned, glancing somewhat nervously at North Dakota. She ignored him. "Uh... yeah, totally!" he exclaimed, though unsure, after not having seen her for about a week. "We're, like... definitely compatible, yo. The two of us. My heart is _devoted to her._ We're just, uh... kinda in trouble 'cause her sister betrayed her and all."_  
><em>

California, having stayed silent the entire time since her arrival, simply stared at Hawaii, a somewhat distant gaze in her eyes. Hawaii grew increasingly uncomfortable, and made a move to go sit down, only to have Blaineley pull him back by the collar. "_Hey!_ What gives?" Hawaii yelled, wincing. Blaineley smiled in an off-putting manner, and told him, "We still have _work to do, Hawaii!_ You can't get as far as you did in the game without getting _special attention._ Technically, you're _better_ than all of these people! I mean, right? You _did_ get past them..."

A few of the ex-contestants sitting in the peanut gallery began to glare at Hawaii as they realized the implications of Blaineley's suggestion. Hawaii frantically shook his head, and said, "No! No, I like everyone - they're all my friends - er, well... I mean, sort of - just - lemme go sit down, okay? Can we begin the debate now?"

Blaineley let him go, though she added, "Sure, Hawaii. But we're not doing a debate _tonight._ No, we're doing something _fun._ Something new! Something _exciting!_ The eight of you will be participating... in a _game show!_ Yaaay!"

Three large podiums were suddenly wheeled on stage, each bearing the name of a different contestant still in the game: Oregon, Virginia, and South Dakota. "Kids, go to the podium that corresponds to the contestant that you're supporting!" Blaineley instructed, a wide smile on her face. "We're doing a game show. Those of you at the same podium will be one team: united! Here's how this will go down."

As the contestants carefully climbed up to the podiums, Blaineley explained, "We will have four questions, all based on how well you kids know the entire season so far! The team with the most points at the very end will have the contestant they're supporting get _immunity_, which basically means a guarantee in the finale. Not only _that,_ but... since this will be a voting ceremony tonight, they _also_ technically have the ability to _chose who they're going up against._ So... yes, this will be a _very_ important challenge. Possibly the most important yet! And it is my _honor_ to host it."

Blaineley stood in apparent self-satisfaction for a few moments, and then remembered, "Oh! I need to show you each contestant's video for what they're planning to do with the money, don't I? Alright, alright, alright, fine. Here we go."

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_227_mp3**

"What I'm plannin' to do with the money? Get out of the ghetto, first of all. And use some of it to send my little brother to a better school, definitely. Um... but three million is a lot of money. I'm not sure what I could do with all of that. I guess I could give some of it to South Dakota. She would deserve it. And Oregon, too, I suppose. Oh! And Arizona. And definitely Massachusetts. I might just give everyone who was ever on the show, like, at least ten thousand dollars each. So... that way, it seems like everyone wins."

Virginia

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_228_mp3**

"Well, my sister wouldn't get any of it. That much I've decided. The way she's acted this season... is simply terrible. I never even realized it... or acknowledged it until after she was gone. The amount of lives North destroyed is just heart-breaking. She almost killed a girl in a plane crash one time! So... yeah. I guess I would give some of it to Oregon and Virginia. And to California, and Oklahoma, and everyone who ever had to deal with North Dakota from back in Team Dakota. _Especially_ Minnesota, I don't think she deserved to get eliminated that early. Other than that... I guess I'd use the rest for college, and getting out of my state. Maybe I could live in New York City, or something."

South Dakota

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_229_mp3**

"Well, obviously I would share it with Washington. He's kind of the reason I'm even _at_ this position, anyway. I would also give some to everybody on Team Victory, they're all good people. And Massachusetts! And Nebraska, he seemed nice. Let's see - _oh_ - I would move to San Francisco. Yes! Like, in a Victorian house or something! Like, you know... from the intro to Full House. The nineties show. That kind of house. I think I would also give money to everyone on the show, even if I don't know them all, though I don't know how much I would give. Probably enough for them to all get Lamborghinis, or Ferraris, or something. That'd be nice."

Oregon

The clips ended there, as the contestants took their places at the podiums; Hawaii, North Dakota, and Washington were supporting Oregon; California, Texas, and New York were supporting South Dakota; but just Arizona and Massachusetts were supporting Virginia. Blainley grinned, facing them all. "Four questions!" she reminded them again, somewhat unnecessarily. "Let's begin! The first team to answer this question correctly gets the first point. Tell me, in Act 3, Episode 39, what anomaly caused Team Freedom to win the challenge? Was it..."

"A, a plastic cup falling over...

B, a mysterious orb flying around...

C, a blood-stained mirror...

or D, the haunting image of Charles Dutton?"

There was a brief pause from the eight contestants, broken by North Dakota raising her hand and yelling, "It's B! I remember - wait - _no, it's A!_"

"Wrong! It is _not_ B!" Blaineley shouted, only to have Arizona excitedly raise _her_ hand and cry, "It's A!"

"Ding-ding-ding! Correct, proponents of Virginia!" Blaineley announced. "A plastic cup fell over, and that was enough to call the Oakleigh Mansion haunted." North Dakota seemed absolutely furious. "_What?_" she screamed. "I changed my mind! I _knew_ it was A! Blaineley - she cheated, she heard it from me and so she-"

"Your loss," Blaineley told North Dakota, winking deviously. "I'm sorry, North. Maybe you should let your 'teammates' help you. In the meantime, we need to get on with the _second_ question..."

As North Dakota brooded quietly, Blaineley cleared her throat, and exclaimed, "In Act 2, Episode 20, which of these contestants was the first to be killed in the game of Mafia? Think carefully about this one, now. Was it..."

"A, Arkansas...

B, Louisiana...

C, Ohio...

or D, Oklahoma?"

None of those were contestants who were at the Aftermath, so it was impossible to directly verify that way. "Well, it's not Ohio," Massachusetts quickly reasoned. "He was the last Mafia. I remember. But... I don't remember who the first person killed off was... it could be any one of those people."

"It's not Arkansas. He was the second to be killed," New York pointed out. "Remember? Everyone flipped out and started raving about what a nice guy he was, vowing to take out the Mafia. So we can eliminate Arkansas, putting it between Louisiana and Oklahoma." At that, Massachusetts stared at New York curiously, somewhat confused about the sudden act of teamwork. The moment was soon cut off by Texas jumping up and shouting, "Oh, y'all - I remember! It wasn't Louisiana, 'cause she was an investigator with me! Ohhh, so it's - it's D! Oklahoma!"

"That is _correct,_ supporters of South Dakota!" Blaineley cheered, pointing at them. "Looks like South Dakota supporters and Virginia supporters are tied, with Oregon supporters at _zero points._ Hm. Maybe the next question will break the tie! It's a little obscure, to be perfectly frank. In Act 1, Episode 6, what caused Team Democracy's bus to take an early stop? Could it be..."

"A, a fallen tree in the middle of the road...

B, a herd of deer crossing the road...

C, a car accident up the road...

or D, a sudden, freak rainstorm?"

This _was_ pretty obscure, but the incident still featured prominently in some minds. Washington's hand instantly shot up, though out of principle; he would figure out the answer as he was saying it, he reasoned. "Uhhh..." he said slowly, thinking. "Is it, um..."

...

"Was it A? Because I don't remember the others happening... that was the camping episode, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was!" Blaineley acknowledged, grinning at the supporters of Oregon. "Good! That leaves all three teams tied. Perfect for the final tie-breaker! I just love it when a plan comes together. This is going to be _so _much more dramatic than a regular thing. Alright. For the final question, answer me this... out of these incredibly minor characters, which of them was eliminated first? Was it..."

"A, Wisconsin...

B, Vermont...

C, South Carolina...

or D, Idaho?"

The question was lost upon their ears. Every character she'd mentioned had played an incredibly minor role in the plot of the show. The contestants all stood in absolute silence, until Arizona broke it, asking, "If we get it wrong, can we guess again?" And Blaineley shook her head. "Nope!" Blaineley responded cheerily. "You only get one shot. So pick wisely!"

...

"Well, it wasn't Idaho..." Arizona murmured to Massachusetts, after nobody had said anything. "He was eliminated towards the end of Act one... but the problem is, I just don't recognize any of those people, so I just have _no clue..._" Massachusetts nodded, thinking. "Maybe the purpose of this question is to foster teamwork between us all?" he suggested. "In order to figure out the answer? Because no way are any of us getting this without working together."

He looked around. The proponents of teams South Dakota and Oregon seemed similarly stumped. "Well, it's not Idaho!" Arizona said loudly, trying to foster inter-team communication. "He was eliminated towards the end of Act 1! In the _sand castle episode!_" Her dialogue seemed forced, though it did admittedly help. "Well, it might be South Carolina, then," Texas mused. "That sandcastle episode was in South Carolina! Aw, man - we figured it out! Hey - Blaineley, we figured it out, it's-"

"_Shhh!_" California and New York both whispered, clamping hands over Texas's mouth. "We don't _know_ if that's the answer or not!" California harshly told him. "The problem is that nobody knows who these contestants _are!_ They're just so _irrelevant!_"

"Maybe it's Vermont?" Massachusetts mumbled quietly. "He was, um... kind of eliminated early. I _remember._" At that, New York shrunk where he stood. Evidently, his actions extended _very_ far back into Team Democracy's timeline. "Maybe we should figure out where Wisconsin lies in all this," York suggested, speaking directly to Massachusetts now. "He's from Team America, but nobody from Team America is here to help us, so... hm. I think-"

At that moment, Hawaii thrust up his hand, and yelled, "I'm just gonna go ahead and say it's Wisconsin. Nobody knows who he is, so he's gotta be the one." Blaineley raised an eyebrow as Washington and North Dakota both glared at Hawaii murderously. "Well, you're wrong," Blaineley stated bluntly. "Dead wrong! Wisconsin was eliminated _before Idaho!_ That's the only hint I'm giving the rest of you!"

It just turned into a logical puzzle. "Hold on!" New York yelled, shutting his eyes to think about it. "Wait. If Wisconsin was eliminated _before Idaho_ - and he's _not_ the first out of the four to be eliminated - and Idaho was eliminated _in_ South Carolina, meaning Carolina was kicked off the night before - _meaning_ - _It's gotta be Vermont!_"

Everyone was stunned, including Massachusetts. Blaineley, most of all. "_Correct!_" she cried, giggling in joy. "Supporters of South Dakota, your contestant has just been awarded _immunity!_ This means she's going _straight to the finals!_ However... there's still the issue of Oregon and Virginia. Which of them is continuing? Which of them _isn't?_ Let's find out soon."

Washington groaned, plopping his head on the podium. "Seriously?" he asked. "This game show wasn't fair. Hawaii's answer was not representative of the entire team."

"Neither was New York's, technically!" Blaineley pointed out. "And besides, Washington, _you_ wouldn't be arguing if Oregon had been granted immunity." For a moment, Washington tried to argue against this claim, but realized that she spoke the truth; he was undoubtedly incredibly biased in Oregon's favor. However, angrier than him was North Dakota. To see her sister get a _guaranteed pass_ at the finale was too much. Before _she_ could argue against it, though, Blaineley yelled, "The three finalists are just now being notified of South Dakota's immunity! Let's find out what happens... during _tonight's _voting ceremony!"

**6:51 PM.**

Garbled radio waves manifested into a game-changing message, as three teenagers bent over a radio, listening to every word. Their bus rested outside a theater in downtown Toronto. Dry snow dusted the parking lot, though the flakes had long since stopped coming down. From the radio, a few screeching words bellowed, "_Correct! Supporters of South Dakota, your contestant has just been awarded immunity! This means she's going straight to the finals! However... there's still the issue of Oregon and Virginia. Which of them is continuing? Which of them isn't? Let's find out soon._"

Slowly, Oregon and Virginia turned their heads to stare at South Dakota, who was just absent-mindedly watching the radio. "Wow..." South whispered. "I... um, wow. I got immunity?"

The two nodded, watching her. "Hun, I trust you," Virginia said, smiling. "I know whoever you choose to go with you is gonna do their best. I'm just hopin' that you choose me. Come on, Southie..." Oregon glanced at Virginia, and turned his attention back to South. "Don't worry, South," he told her, giving her a small smile. "We're three friends. It's not a popularity contest between me and Virginia. Just pick whoever you feel comfortable with, I guess. Either way, it should be a fun challenge this weekend."

South Dakota nodded, unable to keep up with what was going on. A figure approached their bus. "Um... thanks, guys..." she mumbled, still coming to terms with the fact that she was _definitely_ going to the finale. "I guess I'm really lucky I even _get _this decision. So, um, let me just get this straight - I have to choose between the two of you, correct?"

Both Virginia and Oregon nodded. "Whoever you don't vote for will be goin' to the top with you," Virginia reminded her. "Just... _think_ about your pick. Alright? No matter what happens, we're still your friend." And it was true; the three had experienced a bond never-before-seen between three finalists in Total Drama history. At this point, it was just a question of who was going to win. South Dakota made a short, deft little nod. "Okay," she stammered. "I'll... pick wisely. You two can trust me to make the right decision. And - and we're all still friends, right?"

The three nodded, and all simultaneously said, "By the way, I'm giving some of my money to the two of you, if I win."

They froze, staring at each other. And just like that, they began to laugh, and laugh, absolutely tickled that each of them had the exact same idea. A bewildered Chris stood outside the bus door to see three teenagers giggling madly in front of an FM radio. He rapped sharply on the glass, jolting them back to action. "Hey!" he yelped. "It's freezing out here! Are we doing the vote or what?"_  
><em>

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_230_mp3**

"So I guess I'm stuck with another decision, though... I guess this one isn't as serious. I have to decide whether I want to compete against Virginia or Oregon. And... I like the two of them a _lot._ They are _such_ nice people, and... it breaks my heart to have to pick like this. And I don't even really want to go to the finale! I wouldn't have objected to being eliminated tonight! But I have to choose, so... I'm going to think about who I'd have a technically better chance against. Because if I'm going to the finale, then I'm going to try my hardest to win! Otherwise, what would be the point? And even if I lose, I still get the experience from this show. That's all that really matters."

South Dakota

**6:59 PM.**

The three walked out into the snow, dressed warmly for the occasion. Chris stood in his heavy white coat, holding a top hat, into which the three deposited their votes. Chris sighed, and stood for a moment in solemn silence. "This is the last voting ceremony we're ever going to have for this show," he pointed out quietly. "No more after this. All that's left is the finale. It's... kind of sad, isn't it?"

This was rather uncharacteristic of Chris to suddenly grow sentimental. But in a flash, a huge smile spread over his face as he exclaimed, "And also _friggin' terrific for ratings._ Oh, man. The final three face off? Totally perfect. And this one's going to be dramatic, I can tell. Well, I'm not gonna stop this from happening. Let's begin. I have _two snacks today!_ They are both just bottles of root beer. I hope you two can handle that."

He withdrew two bottles; however, these were the _fancy_ kind. The kind made out of glass, instead of plastic. Condensation clung to the sides of the cold drinks, as Chris jiggled them in the air tantalizingly. "Oh, man, these are the _final two bottles..._" he pointed out, miming taking a sip from one a little exaggeratedly. "Delicious. Hope the final two contestants enjoy these. Gonna go ahead and get one out of my hands and say South Dakota! You get this one. No votes, of course."

Chris tossed her the drink, which came very near to just shattering on the hard, compact snow before it was caught by her small hands. And, of course, it was already down to Virginia and Oregon. The two smiled at each other; the emotional impact of this episode was quite strong. No matter what happened, the three contestants would be united. "This last bottle can only go to one of you!" Chris yelled, showing them it. "The both of you have had _very_ long histories on this show. Oh, man. Oregon, your relationship with Washington, someone who could've easily taken your place to get this far, brought you here. You eventually opposed North Dakota, just like her sister did. You might not be perfect, but you're already a candidate for victory. However..."

He turned. "Virginia, you have quite literally one of _the most intricate plots_ on this show!" Chris pointed out. "Whatever that means. There's no such thing as a plot, by the way, this is just a television show. Virginia, you got involved in _so many things._ Your legacy will always be remembered! You were the girl who survived Team America, and went _beyond_, farther than anyone else ever expected. Which is why... the final drink of tonight goes... _to..._"

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Oregon. South Dakota has chosen you to compete with her in the finale."

His eyes went wide. "Wait - _really?_" he asked, bewildered. "I thought for sure you'd chose Virginia - _seriously, you chose me?_"

South Dakota nodded quietly, her gaze glancing between Virginia and Oregon. "It's nothing personal, of course..." she quietly said. "But I'm in this show to compete. And you are, too. And Virginia. I wanted the best chance I can have, so that this can be fair." Virginia surveyed South Dakota with a faint, distant sense of approval. "Well said, South," Virginia quietly murmured. "You're a good girl. Oregon, you'd better make me proud. Both of you. I want to see you two put up a _good fight_ for the show. After all... this thing deserves it."

Oregon and South Dakota smiled, relieved to finally have their future clearly defined. Chris cleared his throat, and asked, "Are we good? Can we finish the episode? Because it's most definitely Oregon versus South Dakota. Oh, yes, this is _happening._ The Fifty State Roadtrip finale. Who will win? Who will _lose?_ Who will take home the money, and what will become of our star-crossed contestants?"

"Find out on this weekend's _final, absolutely FINAL episode of The Fifty State Roadtrip!_ Oh, man, I am so excited. This is going to be something _excellent._"

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, Texas, Arizona, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Hawaii, and Virginia.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **Knifez, Guest, Ali6132, StayOuttaMyShed, Spiderwick11, and Anna Blake!

**aspiringAnimator** - It's happening, you guys! The final two! Oregon versus South Dakota. I assume I have a lot of questions as to why I picked these two specific contestants: _neither of them are perfect._ I couldn't have an unfair finale. That's the reason I kicked off North Dakota long before the final 3, because she is such an obvious loser of the show. What kind of show makes the antagonist win? Not mine. So, I made this show end on a finale of two good guys, united in purpose. Virginia was an option, and she _definitely_ has the most plot out of all contestants, but she's too perfect. Not once has she been on the side of the bad guy, whereas both South Dakota and Oregon _have_ been. Therefore, I wanted the ending to be very much _unpredictable._ The two of them were minor characters at the start, and have ended up being much more than that. If I had made it Virginia versus Oregon, or Virginia versus South Dakota, Virginia would've easily won. She's a fan favorite, reasonably athletic, and is such an obvious winner.

So! We're in the finale territory, boys. Strap on your seat belts, because one of these two is going to be a winner by Sunday, the day that I'll probably end up uploading it, because I am apparently incapable of uploading chapters before 11:30 PM of the deadline night. Just like tonight!

I am officially on winter break! This gives me plenty of time to work on the finale and the two epilogues. More info on that later, it's very exciting stuff. The finale is scheduled for either the 20th or the 21st. By the way, even though this is an Aftermath, it still counts as Act 4. Act 4 doesn't end until the finale ends. Okay? Okay.

Thanks for reading the author's note. Who are you rooting for? Vote on my profile if you haven't! And make sure to review, as always. Ciao!


	50. Finale

**CURRENT TEAMS**

**Finalists** - Oregon and South Dakota.

**EPISODE 49: FINALE**

_"See, we here at CampTV like to mix things up a bit. We like to have fun." - Chris_

**Sunday, December 21st, 2014. Washington, DC. 9:02 AM.**

"Right here, please."

A taxi pulled to a stop immediately in front of a huge, pale white mansion. Before the mansion, an enormous marble obelisk rose into the sky, casting its long, thin shadow over the taxi, blocking the vehicle from the dim shine of the morning sun. The sky was a bright, brilliant blue, showing no signs of ill weather; however, around six inches of snow still remained after the violent blizzard of the week prior.

The girl known as Minnesota stepped out of the cab, her expression a polite interest in the world around her. Holding her hand, Nebraska followed. The two wore casual clothing for the event, as no dress code was specified. Ahead, on the Mall stretching before the Capitol building, a number of tents and stands had been set up, all bearing the famous CampTV logo.

"So... do we just go meet up with the others?" Nebraska asked, jerking a thumb towards the stands. Already, the two could spot a few of the other ex-contestants sitting and waiting for the show to begin. The little speck of Chris seemed to be running around, holding one hand to his ear and yelling at various interns. Minnesota shrugged, and stepped forward, guiding Nebraska ahead, right when they were stopped by someone.

"Oh, hey, guys!" Kansas yelled, waving. Minnesota gave a small wave, as Kansas ran up to hug Nebraska. "I had no idea you guys would be here so early. Me and some of the southerners are playing touch-football in front of the Washington monument. Nebraska, you wanna join?"

Nebraska was about to shake his head, when Kansas took a step back and realized that Minnesota and Nebraska were holding hands. "Whoa," Kansas muttered, eyes wide. "You two are... together? Seriously? When did that happen?"

"Right after the third Aftermath," Minnesota responded casually, smiling politely at Nebraska. "It was at the Aftermath party. The two of us were there, and obviously we knew each other from before, so... I guess... things just took off from there." Nebraska gave a tiny nod to indicate that Minnesota was telling the truth. "Wow," Kansas remarked, surprised. "Nebraska, I didn't think you'd be able to... y'know. Hm. Well, over in the stands, we've got a few more people here already - over there, you've got Indiana, I saw Blaineley yelling at her a while ago - and Ohio's somewhere around here... most of Team America kind of conglomerated around the fans... the southerners are playing football... and everybody else is just sort of scattered around."

Minnesota nodded, and she walked towards the stands with Nebraska, ignoring the stares she got. As she approached the stands on the National Mall, she spotted Ohio and Michigan engaged in a heated argument. Behind the stands, a few dozen fans had already arrived, eager to watch the finale first-hand. One of the largest television shows of 2014 was about to end, and with it went the endless marketing opportunities.

Nebraska watched Virginia signing autographs, and commented, "Y'know, I still think she should've won. I mean - obviously you should've won, Minnie, but Virginia seemed super likely to win. I guess we should just be glad that North Dakota's not gonna win, huh?"

A stiff nod from Minnesota. "Yeah, we got lucky there..." she muttered, taking her seat in the stands. "This is fun, though. I can't wait to see the last two competitors. I'd never have thought South to be the one to actually go against her sister like that. Regardless, I'm supporting her."

Nebraska gave his girlfriend a cheeky grin, and said, "Well, I like Oregon a lot. He was a nice guy for the time that I knew him in Team Freedom. Plus, for whatever reason, he specifically said he was going to give me extra money if he won. Me! Why me?"

Minnesota seriously thought about it, and eventually answered, "Maybe he likes you. After all, you're definitely handsome - maybe he was swooning for you, and you never knew it-"

"Oh, please, Minnie, knock it off, you know I'm not bi or anything like that-"

"I'm serious! You should see all the pairings fans have come up with online. Did you know there's a pairing called Mainesota? I don't even know her! But I'm serious - why else would Oregon grant you money if he won?"

"Well, for one thing, I was actually nice to him in a time when there were a few southerners who hated his guts for his sexuality - for another thing, Oregon already had a boyfriend, so there's no reason for him to even like me - number three, I'm straight, like I keep telling you - damn it, Minnesota, stop looking at me like that - and plus I was a potential ally for them when they started up their alliance!"

Minnesota kept giggling, casting sideways glances at Nebraska. "Jeez, lighten up, I was just kidding," she told him, winking. "I know you don't have a thing for Oregon. You just have a thing for guys in general. Don't get so defensive, you can tell your own girlfriend if you're bi-"

"Oh, my god, Minnie, please."

Elsewhere, Indiana and North Carolina stood under a leafless tree, accompanied by a few other members of Team America, and North Carolina's sister. A cluster of fans surrounded the pair, as Indiana yelled, "Step right up, twerps. Get your autograph of North Carolina, the girl who almost died in one of the challenges via plane massacre. Only five dollars per signature. Get them now, they'll be worth a ton by the evening!"

As pre-teen fans forked over their hard-earned cash for North Carolina's signature, North muttered, "I still think this is kind of criminal-y. Like, the entire basis of selling my signature for something that barely even matters. I'm fine - see, no casts anymore." South Carolina stood on tip-toes to peek at the crowd, and exclaimed, "Sis, it's fine! You're making money! You should be happy."

"Yeah, listen to your sister, Northy," Indiana said, winking at North Carolina. "You're making a profit. It's not like these kids have to give you their money." North Carolina sighed, and furrowed her eyebrows at Indiana's nickname for her. "Fine. Whatever."

Over near the Washington monument, Texas had organized a quick game of tag football, playing with Alabama, New Mexico, Idaho, New Jersey, and Kansas. Watching the hastily-created game were most of the girls of Team Touchdown. Also there was Arizona and a small gaggle of girls from Team Democracy, who'd conglomerated to watch the spectacle known as "Southern Football". Over near the base of the monument, Florida and Tennessee had joined together, watching the others play with faintly amused stares.

"I feel obliged to be interested in football..." Tennessee murmured, watching her old teammates play. "You know? Like, back home, it was obviously a big thing, but... I dunno, I was never that into it." Florida glanced over at Tennessee, and shrugged. "Really?" she asked. "I felt no such obligation. I just remember it existing, and being filled with a bunch of ignoramuses betting over sports."

Tennessee giggled at Florida's staunch opinion on the topic and her vaguely flowery language. "By the way, where's Arkansas?" Tennessee asked, looking around. "I expected you to be with him. Y'all are like two peas in a pod." Florida raised an eyebrow, and said, "Uh, not since we were on the show. All I know is that he's doing a bunch of marketing stuff for the show, and I couldn't care less."

A blank stare from Tennessee met Florida's eyes. "Wait - seriously?" Tennessee asked. "I thought... well, I mean... y'all were just so... you clicked. The two of you just stood in such contrast against the rest of the team." Florida rolled her eyes, and folded her arms, leaning against the monument. "Whatever," she replied quietly. "I haven't given this show much thought since I was kicked off back in the summer. Really, the attention from fans is more annoying than anything. I'm just sick of irritable pre-teens showing up at my house in Tampa for an autograph, or my opinion on whatever stupid topic they've got to show me."

Tennessee frowned. "A lot of the fans are really nice..." she mumbled. "They were really supportive of me after I got kicked off by my own teammates. Plus, there's a bunch from your own state that keep up with you, 'cause they supported you - like, I had twenty thousand people following my Twitter - a Twitter I didn't even know I had, 'cause the show set one up for me! So... you've got fans, Florida. After you did such a big stunt against the others back in Act 1, I bet you got a ton of fans."

Florida seemed doubtful, though had no evidence to back up a rebuttal. However, suddenly a commotion arose over near the stands; some vehicle arrived, and bringing with it the promise of the show to come.

The general atmosphere grew to festival levels of excitement; the bus had finally pulled up, after the short drive from Toronto. Though the show was nowhere near ready to begin, the two finalists had arrived. The winner would be decided in mere hours. It was go time.

**9:49 AM.**

One bus. Two contestants. One prize.

South Dakota and Oregon sat together in silence on the couch of the now deathly silent bus. The bus that was once full of so much noise, now reduced to that of a quiet stillness. Since arriving at the nation's capital a half hour ago, the two contestants sat in their winter clothing, quietly waiting on the couch for any instruction. Eventually, that awkward silence turned to small conversation as the two passed the time for the show to begin.

"I can't believe it's over..." Oregon murmured, quietly scratching the back of his head, gazing around the bus. "Heh. It's been like one giant summer camp, huh?" South Dakota nodded, smiling as she stared at the clipboard on the wall, detailing the bus's occupants' names. The paper on the clipboard had been ripped off several times, and eight out of the ten names for this particular team were scratched out. The only two that remained were Oregon and South Dakota.

"I remember when my sister asked who was on this team... on the very first day," South recalled, staring at the clipboard. "Even then, she was so determined to take over Team Dakota. That day she got enough people to vote off Wyoming, for... almost no reason whatsoever. I guess I should've seen it then. One of those days, my own sister would turn against me. And she thinks it's the other way around, of course..."

Oregon blinked at South Dakota, and put a small hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "I can assure you that your sister got what was coming to her," he declared determinedly. "She directly caused the elimination of... maybe half the contestants on this show by now. Who knows? And... maybe one day... she'll forgive you, and the two of you can get along again..."

But by the look in South Dakota's eyes, it seemed that was incredibly unlikely. This one show had forever changed the relationship between North and South, turning them from sisters to enemies - not in the blink of an eye, but gradually. Over time. South Dakota stared down at the carpeted floor, and mumbled, "I hope so, Oregon. I really do."

Oregon said no more for a few more minutes, as the two thought about the events that brought them there. Early into the show, Oregon had formed a strong bond with Washington. The two eventually grew attracted to each other, leading Oregon to come out of the closet. Soon after, the two became involved in an alliance with Massachusetts and eventually Hawaii, taking them into the finals. With Washington's elimination, North Dakota convinced Oregon to support her; however, he eventually grew in opposition and took part in her downfall, sending him to the finale.

South Dakota, on the other hand, spent most of the early game at the side of North Dakota, quietly standing by as she oversaw her own little dictatorship. Of course, her sister took her well past the merge, though a few obstacles stopped South Dakota from fully supporting her sister; for instance, the rise of a small sect opposing North Dakota, known as Virginia, Arizona, and Mississippi. These feelings of resentment toward her own sister only grew into the finals; as North Dakota no longer needed her sister, South Dakota began to realize the terror North had struck in the show, and slowly began to go neutral, eventually leaning towards opposition. It was South Dakota's hand that eliminated North Dakota, her own sister, catapulting her to the finale. And there they were.

A sudden knock on the bus's door. Chris's worrisome face emerged, as he tapped on the dirty windows, pointing at the two of them. "Come on!" he yelled. "We've got a show to do, you two. Don't get pouty with me. This is the last time either of you have to take part in a challenge, so be grateful."

And so, the finale began. The curtains parted. The stage was set for the final elimination.

**10:00 AM.**

"Welcome... to the finale for The Fifty State Roadtriiip!"

Chris greeted a huge fanbase, roaring past large metal gates separating them from the show itself. In a few metal stands along the sides of the National Mall, the other forty-eight contestants sat, ready to watch the show go down. Chris flashed a smile, and basked in the brilliance of adoration; after all, it would be his last episode in such a position, at least until whatever new show he'd host in January began. For Chris, this was just an endless cycle of rebirth; when one show died, another was born.

However, for the fans, this meant the end of the show they beloved; the end of the great shipping wars between proponents of Connectichusetts and Mainachusetts; the end of "sit down in front of the tellie Wednesdays and Sundays and watch Chris and the gang"; and the end of betting on contestants, forking over money, and bemoaning the loss of your own state.

Another grin from Chris. Life was good. "Are you all ready for the _finale?_" he screamed, pumping his fist into the air. "'Cause I know I am! I am _so_ ready to get this thing over with. One of these kids is gonna get a _lot_ of money... but who? Well, most of you already know the two contestants: Oregon and South Dakota!" Chris waved a hand, and the two walked on stage, facing the entirety of the world, and blushing a bright scarlet. "These kids have been through it all!" Chris proclaimed to the nation's capital. "Fighting! Drama! Teenage angst! But now, they've only one more challenge to face. So! Are we ready for the rules? We're gonna do a scavenger hunt!"

New Jersey suddenly stood from his place in the stands, and exclaimed, "We _already did that!_ In, like, episode four!"

"_Go stand in a corner, Jersey!_" Chris shouted, angrily thrusting a fist at New Jersey. "Jeez. I thought you would've learned by now. The scavenger hunt _today_ is gonna be _different._ Instead of five teams running around a city and getting lost all the time, it's going to be two contestants. And instead of finding _locations,_ they're going to just be finding things that match the description of what they're looking for. And, judging in place of me today is..."

Blaineley stepped forward, wearing her fanciest dress, and toting an absolutely sickeningly sweet smile. "_Hi_, America!" she crooned, waving at the cameras. "Canada's top celebrity right here. I am simply _happy_ to be a judge in today's challenge." Chris took a step away from her, cautiously stared at Blaineley, and reminded, "Hey, the only reason you're here is because the producers are 'sorry' that you had to get kicked off the show way back in Act 2. Though I'm pretty sure that stunt did wonders for your career."

A big, gloating nod from Blaineley, as Chris sighed, stepping forward again. "So! It should be a pretty interesting finale," he declared. "Should there be a tie, we've got _plenty_ of other challenges to choose from. Is everyone ready?" At that moment, a commotion from the fans suddenly arose. Chris craned his neck to take a look. "What's going on...?"

It was the fans, growing absolutely crazier by the minute. At the forefront of the little teenage army was Sierra, grinning maliciously and standing on someone's shoulders. "_Behold!_" Sierra screamed. "Chris! _Hiii!_ Can you see me?" Chris finally noticed Sierra, and face-palmed. "Oh, no..." he muttered quietly. "Sierra? Why are you here? I thought you lived in, like, Montreal or something." Sierra giggled loudly, and cried, "Of course I'm not going to miss the finale! What kind of fan do you even think I _am?_"_  
><em>

"Ow! Sierra, you just kicked me in the eye!"

"Sorry."

Sierra happened to be standing on another fan's shoulders; a fan briefly met in Minnesota, known as Shelby. Chris shook his head at the two girls, and said, "Well, whatever. I'm ready to get this challenge going. South Dakota? Oregon? Are the two of you ready?"

"Yes!" they both answered simultaneously. Chris smiled, withdrew a note card from his pocket, and read, "The first object you have to find is... _something to make you sleepy._ The first contestant to bring something like that to Blaineley gets the first point!" And just like that, South Dakota and Oregon took off, running for an unknown destination in the search for something...

...

...to make you sleepy?"

South Dakota stopped dead in her tracks, as a figurative light bulb flickered on above her head. "Oh!" she yelped, and ran back to the bus, as Oregon asked a number of people in the stands if they had any sleeping medication on them for whatever reason. South opened the door of the bus, and sprinted inside, lifting the tops of boxes and under seat cushions to look around - they _had_ to be stored in here somewhere, right?

Minutes later, as South Dakota triumphantly carried a pellet gun from the bus, North Dakota sat in the stands, her frown deepening as she watched her sister gain the first point. This wasn't acceptable at _all._

**t50sr_roadtrip_confessional_230_mp3**

"Obviously I couldn't let my sister win. So... watching her get that first point? It triggered something in me. I was going to get Oregon to win no matter what. I apparently had the idea that he would give me money after he won! Hah. But anyway... I... guess I made a lot of mistakes while I was in the show. Apparently you're supposed to be nice to people all the time or something, like a fucking sunflower."

North Dakota

**10:14 AM.**

"South Dakota gets the first point!" Blaineley proclaimed as the girl jogged up, depositing the pellet gun at Blaineley's feet. Oregon showed up empty-handed after asking the ex-contestants if they had any sleeping medication. "The first point out of three total points, that is. Which means we're almost done, assuming some craaazy tie doesn't happen! Which it won't. At all. So don't even suggest it."

Blaineley then proceeded to narrow her eyes at Oregon and South Dakota, as though she expected them to suggest a "craaazy tie" was about to transpire. Satisfied, Blaineley said, "Next part! Chris, read out the prompt, will you?" Chris followed the instructions, and told Oregon and South Dakota, "Washington DC is a very historic city! Probably. All I know about Washington is that, in the War of 1812, Canadians burned down the White House. So, hah. Anyways. Because of all the history located in this city, your next objective is to locate an _ancient artifact!_ A historical object of significance! Something! Alright?"

South Dakota ran towards the museums located on the sides of the National Mall, while Oregon hesitated, and then went for the stands again. Washington, jumping up from his seat, shooed Oregon away, shouting, "Oregon! Hey, no time to talk, we can speak later - go on, go to the museums, you can find something there. We don't have anything for you. At all. Go pull a Nic Cage and steal the Declaration of Independence or something."

"Oh, right... got it..." Oregon muttered, mentally slapping himself in the face, about to make a U-turn, when a voice called him back. "Hold up!" a loud, buff voice proclaimed. "Oregon! Little man, I think I have a historical artifact... if I can just..."

Oregon turned on the spot to see New Mexico, leaning over the edge of the stands, holding out his sunglasses. "Your... _shades?_" Oregon asked, tentatively taking them and noticing how different New Mexico looked without the sunglasses. "I don't see how this is a historical artifact."

"Oh, but those aren't just _any_ shades," New Mexico continued, growing excited. "Those are _the shades_ worn by Tom Cruise in the movie Top Gun. I got 'em online in an auction. Er - my dad let me get 'em, just 'cause Top Gun is so awesome. Best movie of 1986, hands down - except maybe for the movie Aliens, and - oh - can't forget about-"

"Thank you _so_ much, New Mexico!" Oregon cried, safely tucking the shades into his pocket. "I really hope this counts." He ran over to Blaineley, and showed her the shades. Like Oregon had been, she seemed confused, staring at the aviator shades. "Why'd you come and bring me douche shades?" she asked, peering at them. "This isn't history. This isn't history at all."

"Oh, but, um - it is!" Oregon exclaimed. "It's history, um... it was in the movie Top Gun, worn by, ah - Tom Cruise? Yes, Tom Cruise. It's from 1986. They count."

"Where'd you even get these?" Blaineley asked, holding them up to the sun to get a better look at the frames. There wasn't much time. "I guess... oh, hold on, there's something written in the frame." Blaineley squinted at the metal, and read, "Property of Paramount Pictures'... oh, wow, this really is a movie prop. Huh. Okay. I guess this counts. Oregon gets the point."

Oregon yelped excitedly, as he was tied with South Dakota now. "'Historical artifact'..." Chris repeated, unbelieving. "Wow. Guess the kids are tied. That's kind of what we wanted anyway, right? For them to be tied?" Blaineley nodded, a small smirk on her face, right as South Dakota came running up. "Waaait!" South cried. "Have you guys given out any points? I have a historical artifact!"

Nobody responded, and South Dakota approached, panting, pointing at Chris with a small, exhausted smile on her face. At first, there was only confusion. "Wait... _I'm_ your historical artifact?" Chris asked, eyes wide. "Oh - _screw you, South!_ I'm _not old!_ I'm _thirty!_ Er - well, thirty-six - look, it _doesn't matter - _someone disqualify South Dakota!"

Blaineley couldn't stop laughing, as she was doubled over. South Dakota had tears in her eyes, and most of the fans had burst into laughter by that point. Chris, staring around defeatedly, put up his hands and said, "Okay, okay, settle down - _very funny joke, South_ - hah, hah, see, it is a joke - _tell them I'm not old!_ I'm only thirty-six! That's - that's not old, right?"

"Oh, Chris, sweetie, sometimes, I really do think you're ill-suited for hosting this show," Blaineley sighed, the ghost of her laughter still etched onto her expression. She pulled the note cards from out of his hands, and proclaimed, "Contestants, you two are now _tied!_ There is one more object that is needed to be found! For comedic effect, I'm going to whisper what it is you need to find. Chris, take notes. _This_ is how you host a show."_  
><em>

With Chris still recovering from South Dakota's burn, Blaineley whispered to the two contestants, "Okay, kids. The last thing that you've gotta find is an _idiot._ Can you two do that for me?"

Find an idiot? On _this_ show? Nooo, _never._

Oregon and South Dakota ran to the stands, each knowing _exactly_ who to pick. Chris groaned, holding his forehead. "I think I need a beer..." he muttered, and Blaineley laughed.

"Um - _Alabama!_" Oregon yelled, waving from the stands. Alabama glanced around confusedly, as everyone turned to stare at him. "Me?" he asked. "Wait, you need me?" Oregon nodded fervently, and Alabama climbed down. At the same time, South Dakota directed Kentucky to climb down from the stands to be _her_ choice. "What do y'all need me for?" Alabama asked, joining Oregon as the two ran back to Blaineley. "You need someone charmin'? Er - wait - maybe you need a southerner. Or somethin' that has to do with football! Aw, well, I can help you with _that,_ Oregon - see, the SEC was absolutely blown away by the Alabama Crimson Tide. An' rightfully so, too. Man, Oregon, I'm gonna go to the University of Alabama when I go to college - you made a _good choice_ when pickin' me, dude-"

"Are these your selections?" Blaineley asked, craning her neck to look at Alabama and Kentucky. "Hm. You both arrived here on time, and I _can_ see that the two of them could be considered idiots, though with a liberal usage of the term... I'll have to accept this. I declare it a _tie!_"

Groans from Oregon and South Dakota, as Alabama's smile faded. "Wait... you needed an _idiot?_" he yelped. "What the _hell,_ Oregon? You're a dick!"

"I'm sorry!" Oregon pleaded. "I - I couldn't find anybody else! And I didn't really _know_ you, so, um - I'm really sorry - that's why I didn't want to tell you - it's all for the _challenge_-"

But Alabama stormed off back towards the stands as Texas laughed his ass off at him. Chris stormed up to Blaineley, and shouted, "Wait, you ruled it a _tie?_ Blaineley! That was the _final part to the challenge._ We should have a victor by now. Here - can't we just make it random or something? I have some dice in the limousine, if you'd just wait a second-"

"No," decided Blaineley. "The way you were _going_ to go about deciding the winner to this show was stupid. A three part _scavenger hunt?_ I mean, _really, Chris?_ Can't you make the finale at least a _little_ more interesting than that? Here, why don't you tell me about the challenges that you _did_ have planned, and we can do those next." At the sound of that, Chris grew very withdrawn, and mumbled something incomprehensible. Blaineley put a hand to her ear, and furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm sorry, what was that, Chris?" she asked.

"I said I didn't actually _plan_ any other challenges..." Chris mumbled. "The scavenger hunt was it. I didn't expect it to be a tie." Blaineley sighed. "Well, fine, _I'll_ decide a challenge for these two to do," she said, indicating Oregon and South Dakota. "Hmm. Something _fun._ Something unexpected! Something that'll be familiar with fans... something like... oooh, like that _shopping challenge..._"

"Pardon me?" Chris asked, leaning forward. Blaineley smirked, simply stating, "The shopping challenge. You know. The one where the contestants are allotted a specific sum of money, and they have to buy the largest number of objects _with_ that cash as possible. That was fun! Let's do that."

"And if we tie on _that one, too?_" South Dakota asked, one hand on her hip. Blaineley considered it, and shrugged. "We'll figure out _something!_" she proclaimed. "This is reality television! No matter what, the show must go on. What should the amount of money be _this_ time? I was thinking a _lot_ of money. Is that something we can afford? I wasn't sure about this show's budget."

"Give the two of them a thousand bucks each," Chris told Blaineley. "That'll reduce the likelihood of _any_ tie. Plus, it lets them get _some_ things they want. Though I bet they'll have plenty of time for that when they've got a billion dollars or whatever we're giving them. The only problem _is,_ do we even _have_ a thousand bucks in cash on us...?"

Chris and Blaineley exchanged glances. They weren't _that_ rich, and carrying that much money in cash was dangerous. "How about a hundred bucks total?" Blaineley suggested, pulling two fifties from her wallet and handing one each to Oregon and South Dakota. "Buy as much stuff as you can with it, and report back here. You have to be able to transport it, by the way. And no vehicles. Sound good?"

Oregon and South Dakota nodded, and quickly set off for the city, each armed with fifty dollars. The race was on - for real, this time. Within moments, Oregon was joined by Washington, who jogged to keep up. "Long time, no see," Washington remarked, as a few other ex-contestants ran along to join them all. Oregon glanced at Washington, detecting unspoken emotions. "You're not mad at me, are you?" Oregon asked quietly, looking at a Macy's as they walked past. "About the whole supporting North Dakota thing?"

Washington shook his head as Massachusetts ran past, trying to catch up with South Dakota. "Nah," Washington responded. "Not at all. Personally, I'm absolutely _ecstatic_ you've gotten this far. But you need to keep your head in the game. This one challenge means the world now. Where do you think we should go shopping?" Oregon kept twisting his head to look into clothing stores. "Maybe we could buy condoms in bulk again?" Oregon suggested, frowning. "Though I'm not sure where we could get that..."

"Fifty dollars is nothing, so you're gonna want to get something that's strategically good..." Washington murmured, gazing ahead as Massachusetts walked side-by-side with South Dakota. "It really just depends on what South Dakota's buying. If she's going for, say, fifty items, then we don't have to be as careful - but if she goes for bulk stuff, then... hm. I'm really not sure. This matters a lot."

"_Hello,_ Oregon!"

North Dakota suddenly came skipping up to them. Washington recoiled, and glared at North. "North, get out of here," he said defensively. "You're not helping Oregon. You have no place in the competition. You were voted off." North tapped a finger to her cheek, and said, "Hm, now that I _think of it,_ I seem to recall _you_ getting voted off at one point, too, Washington! I have as _much_ right to be here as anybody else. Maybe even _more_ right, just because I should be in the finale. Oregon, you remember me, right? Remember when I took out New York and Texas for you?"

"Regrettably, _yeah_, I do remember you," Oregon muttered, sticking close to Washington. "Sorry, North, but we don't need you. What _you _need is psychological treatment."

North Dakota was left standing there, mouth slightly agape, glaring at where Oregon and Washington had walked off. Further ahead, South Dakota was joined by Massachusetts. "Oh! Hi," South Dakota mumbled. "Mind if I help you out?" Massachusetts asked, smiling. South Dakota shrugged, yet returned the smile as they walked. "Do you have any ideas for what I should buy?" she asked.

"You should do what my team did for that challenge," he advised. "We bought, like, a ton of bubble gum. Bulk. Find a candy store around here somewhere, and you should be able to get some. Hey, they might even give it to you for _free_, just for the publicity." South Dakota froze. "I hadn't thought about that," she admitted. "Well, I'm going to buy a _lot_ of stuff, I know that. Maybe we could, like, do what Team Victory did that challenge, and buy a bunch of condoms. That was weird."

Typically, sentences about condoms end a conversation, so the two walked in silence, feet lightly crunching against dry, dirtied snow on the sidewalks of DC. The other ex-contestants had long gone somewhere else, so the two were alone at that point. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" South Dakota asked quietly. Massachusetts nodded. "I have a little sister," he told her. "And a brother, but he's in college, up at MIT, evidently doing some big and important things. Why?"

"Did you ever feel, um... compelled to be like them?" South Dakota asked in a quieter tone. "To, y'know... get them to like you. Like... do you look up to them?"

Massachusetts grew very quiet. He knew what South was alluding to. "Yes," he mumbled. "My brother is probably the most successful person in the family. He's studying to become a theoretical physicist. And I personally know that I suck at physics. But I still look up to him. However... if he did something _terrible,_ then... it would be acceptable to oppose him. Does that answer your question?"

South Dakota nodded, a small smile on her face. "Yeah..." she said. "North Dakota is my big sister, and she'll always be, but... lately... I don't know. I was just seeing if it would be... _okay_ to go against her. God... I don't even want to think about what our parents think of us now. Who do they support? I hadn't even thought about that until now. Did they take sides? They've always been on her side about things, because she's the oldest, and smartest."

"Don't worry," Massachusetts mumbled, giving South's arm a compassionate squeeze. "You'll do fine. I'm sure your parents support you. After all, you're close to winning, right? Now, come on. We've got _a lot_ of candy to buy."

**11:07 AM.**

...

"IT WAS ANOTHER _TIE?_"

Oregon, Washington, South Dakota, and Massachusetts stood before Chris, who seemed to have his hand permanently in the face-palming position. "Exactly sixty items each," he muttered. "Wooow. South Dakota bought fifty bucks worth of gum and candy, whereas Oregon just got little bottles of water. In _bulk._ I'd say I'm impressed with you kids, but... we don't have any more challenges!"

They all stood in front of the Capitol building, its curved dome reflecting the bright, low sunlight of the winter solstice. Blaineley clicked her tongue in disapproval, and said, "Well, we can make up another challenge for them. No sweat. We could make this finale go on for days. I'm pretty sure that'd help for promotional purposes. 'Two Teens Battle It Out For Days To Win Three Million On National Television'!"

Chris stomped his foot. "No!" he yelled. "We have to do this right. We have to _finish this._ I am sick to _death_ of this show. I am sick of waking up early in the mornings. I am sick of sleeping in limousines and eating at fast food. I am utterly _sick_ of promotional offers, and _zombie challenges that keep failing!_ I'm sick of telling New Jersey to stand in the corner, and yelling at interns, and - augh - we have to think up _something_ to finish this challenge _now!_"

"We could do planes!" Blaineley suggested, though everybody glared at her, reminding her of the last time they attempted a plane-oriented challenge. And then, Chris snapped his fingers. "I've got it," he said. "We do a race. There's always a victor in races. A footrace - from here to the Washington monument! This'll be perfect. Oregon, South Dakota - are you two cool with this? Because like it or not, we're _doing a race._"

South Dakota and Oregon glanced at each other nervously. "Um, sure?" South Dakota responded. "I... guess we're doing a race, then."

"Sweet!" Chris shouted, pulling a gun from his pocket. "It shoots blanks, remember? When I fire, the two of you _run to the Washington monument!_ First one to touch the base wins the show! Ready?"

Quickly, South and Oregon got into position, right when Chris yelled, "Ready, set, _go-_"

The gun fired. The two took off.

**11:15 AM.**

A teenage girl frowned, squinting off into the distance. Above her, the Washington monument towered, its long shadow stretching off to the north. As the other ex-contestants around her cheered, she reached down toward the ground, where a plastic rifle had been place. A thin smile stretched across her lips, as she checked the cartridge, to find it stocked with sleep-inducing pellets. Off in the distance, two contestants sprinted closer and closer, neck-in-neck. The girl knew what she had to do. With a slow, deliberate movement, the rifle was raised to eye level, scoping out the two contestants - the other ex-contestants didn't even notice.

The target slowly aligned with South Dakota's forehead as she sprinted closer. North Dakota smirked. It would be a fitting end to her sister's television career, she figured. Short. Cold. Calculated. Lethal. A slender finger slowly began to pull on the trigger, right when-

WHAM. North Dakota was knocked to the ground, stumbling into Maryland, who shrieked in horror. Chef growled at North Dakota, his fist raised. "Gimme _one reason_ why I ain't gonna beat the livin' hell outta you!" he screamed, toothy snarl spraying spit all over North Dakota's terrified face. "_Huh?__ You gimme one reason!_"

North Dakota, eyes wide, turned her head to one side to take a look at the two competitors racing to the monument. Chef's eyes followed her gaze, and he watched, temporarily mesmerized by the events about to transpire. Oregon and South Dakota, nearing the finish line, just a stone's throw from the monument. On the sideline, Washington cheered on Oregon - but Massachusetts cheered on South Dakota, and _at his side, New York stood, cheering as well, the two reunited once again-_

South Dakota ran faster, her feet carrying her farther - she sprinted with all her might, wind whipping her short black hair behind her head - Oregon fell behind, right before-

SLAM. South Dakota collided with the Washington Monument.

And the game was won.

**11:21 AM.**

"South Dakota! You've just won The Fifty State Roadtrip! Care to say a few words to our sponsors?"

"Excuse me! Coming through! Miss Dakota! What do you plan to _do_ with your money?"

"Coming to you live from Washington, DC, the contestant known as 'South Dakota' has just won The Fifty State Roadtrip after nearly six months in the show. Miss, would you care to say a few words for CNN?"

"Just say the words '_I'm going to Disney World!_', Miss Dakota!"

"South Dakota, how do you feel after winning the show? What would you say to your friends and family back home?"

"EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Chris barreled into the swarm of reporters, who'd all been waiting for the moment someone won. "This is _my_ show, and you are _not_ harassing this poor girl!" Chris cried. "Out of the way, come on! I don't have all day! Get out of here! You can arrange for the interviews and things _later_. Jesus."

South Dakota leaned against the monument, sweat running down her body as she panted, hardly able to speak. Oregon had fallen to the floor in a sticky, sweaty mess, currently being given water by Washington. "Oh, man..." Chris sighed, and then realized the cameras were rolling. "So! South Dakota, _you just won The Fifty State Roadtrip!_ Where's the huge check that we're supposed to give them? Brad the Intern? Someone bring forth the check, we need to do this for pictures."

"I... I _seriously won?_" South gasped, still heaving in her pants. Chris beamed at her, and nodded. "Yes, you did!" he exclaimed, currently being handed the over-sized check, which mistakenly had written on it "One Million Dollars". Chris then frowned at the check, and said, "Oh... _crap..._ it says one million. It's supposed to be three million now. Does anyone have a sharpie?"

A faithful intern came forward with a pen, and Chris drew an X over the "One", replacing it with the number 3. "Perfect!" Chris yelled, and pulled South Dakota close for the pictures. "Wow. So that's seriously it, then? All that work, just to find out South Dakota won the show? Oh... yo, Chef, what are you even _doing_ down there?"

"Restrainin' this unfortunate soul," Chef growled, his knee still pressed on North Dakota's chest. "She tried to interfere, so I threatened physical punishment." Chris just gave him a thumbs up. "Good work, Chef!" he said. "You get a raise for the rest of the season!"

"We just _finished_ the season, dammit!"

"I know. That's why I gave you the raise."

Oregon opened his eyes, staring at the sky as South Dakota had her picture taken, holding up the giant check for three million dollars. "I lost, didn't I?" Oregon asked. Washington nodded. Oregon shrugged, and slowly got to his feet, wincing as he did so. "Oh, well. At least I can say I ran across the National Mall."

Washington, whose expression had just been a quiet, analytic, stout frown, morphed into a a wide smile. "Oregon, you did _amazingly,_" he told him, and they hugged. "Seriously. You got in _second_. Out of _fifty__ freaking contestants._"

...

"This is where you ask what percent that is, Oregon."

"Oh. What percent is that?"

"Four percent. In other words, you're the _best._"

The two embraced, as all the ex-contestants swarmed around South Dakota to offer their congratulations. After a long, grueling six months, the show was finally over. Chris, teary-eyed with nostalgia, said, "Well... I guess I gotta do the outro, then, huh?" And then he faced the cameras and spoke. "Well! Looks like South Dakota has _won The Fifty State Roadtrip!_" he declared. "In an absolutely _stunning_, neck-in-neck victory. Truly, this was something special. As always, I'm Chris McLean. To everybody who kept up with the show, _thank you so, so much. _The fans are the _backbone_ of the Total Drama series, even for seasons that don't have the words 'Total Drama' in the title! See, we here at CampTV like to mix things up a bit. We like to have fun."

Chris winked at the camera, and flashed those pearly whites for the last time. "This has been The Fifty State Roadtrip," he said, surrounded by the fifty contestants. "And it's been a hell of a ride."

**END OF ACT 4**

**ELIMINATED:** Wyoming, Alaska, Missouri, Rhode Island, Montana, Iowa, Vermont, West Virginia, Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Minnesota, South Carolina, Idaho, Michigan, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Utah, North Carolina, Ohio, Arkansas, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Indiana, Illinois, Tennessee, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Louisiana, Georgia, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, California, Washington, New York, Texas, Arizona, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Hawaii, Virginia, and Oregon.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:** StayOuttaMyShed, Guest, Anna Blake, ElizabethLifeStone, Winkie4, Spiderwick11, tumble1980, and Ali6132!

**aspiringAnimator **- ATTENTION! I'VE GOT A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE THAT ALL READERS NEED TO LISTEN TO. The fic is not over. If you go on my profile, you will find a poll, featuring all fifty contestants. Vote on it by Tuesday. The top ten contestants will be featured in the two epilogues! There will be a prologue and an epilogue, and I get to pick which five contestants go in each, based on what I think would be most story-relevant. If there is a tie in voting, I also decide, based on writing potential. The poll will be blind until Tuesday, at which point the results will become public and the poll locked. You can pick up to five contestants. The prologue will be uploaded on Christmas day, and will take place in the past. The epilogue will be uploaded on New Year's Eve, and will take place in the present. Contestants picked have a guarantee of getting their real name revealed. Message over.

Wow. So... it's over. It's really over! Except for the prologue and epilogue, of course, to be released in the coming two weeks. Vote soon, by the way, because I have to have enough time to write it. I guess people are going to wonder why I made South Dakota win. Well... obviously, she deserves it most. The icing on North Dakota's karma is the fact that her own _sister_ won the game. See, I wouldn't have been able to achieve that with an Oregon victory. I am pleased with the fact that it was relatively equal in terms of Oregon and South Dakota supporters, more or less. But here's the deal. If Oregon had won, he'd get the money _and_ Washington, whereas South Dakota would get little money and be stuck with North Dakota. With South Dakota's victory, Oregon gets little money, but he still gets Washington, whereas South Dakota is now free to do whatever she likes with her life.

I should also take this time to disclaim any allegations of a Season 2. This is the end for the fifty contestants. I don't plan on any of them showing up in my work past this fic. At all. The commercials about Chris hosting another season of Total Drama are true, of course; he _is_ a show host, after all. But it's a season we won't see. And none of the contestants in this fic take part in it.

I do sincerely hope I've made a good enough story here. It clocks in at just above three hundred thousand words. It usually takes me about an hour to write a thousand words from what I can tell, so that's quite literally six percent of my life in the past six months! In a final chapter past the epilogue I will go _very_ into detail in terms of what I think I did right and what I did wrong, and my final thoughts on this whole thing. I'll reveal what I wish I'd done differently and all that.

Thank you so, so, _so_ very much for keeping up with this story. It means the world to me. I do this for the reviewers, and for the knowledge that people, for whatever reason, actually _care_ about what I write. That's big news for me! It takes forever to get anyone in my family to read what I write. Also, thanks for actually reading this far into the author's note! It takes a lot of gumption to stick it through these long-winded things.

Anyway. Until Christmas Day!


	51. Christmas

**EPISODE 50: CHRISTMAS**

_"__I'm never gonna be on reality TV. Who would even want to?" - Massachusetts_

**Monday, December 25th, 2006. Bismarck, North Dakota. 5:44 AM.**

"I don't think they're awake, yet, sis..."

"They're probably waiting to put out the presents, then, dummy. That's what parents do."

A girl around the age of eight glared at her slightly older sister. "Santa puts out the presents!" the younger girl insisted. "Dad said so! How else are you gonna explain the stockings? Or the trampoline from last year?"

The older sister rolled her eyes, and groaned, "Anna, they _lied._ There's no such thing as Santa. That's something only dumb babies who wear _diapers_ believe."

"Oh," Anna replied, looking down at the floor. The two sat in their shared bedroom, beds not far from each other. Outside, heavy snow drifted down as the sky began to slowly lighten into a calm blue. Somewhere in the city, a church's bell tolled. The older sister listened carefully for any more noise. "I don't think they're up," she sighed, admitting defeat. Anna, rubbing her eyes with her tiny hands, mumbled, "Alexis, please, can we just go back to bed? We're up _too early..._ I'm tired... Mom and Dad will be up later, and we'll have pancakes, and Grandma will be here later today-"

"Shush your mouth," Alexis ordered, blinking to keep out the sleep. "I wanna see if Santa's real or not. I wanna prove it. Mom will go downstairs and put out presents and stuff. Just _listen_." Anna obeyed, growing quiet as she strained her ears for any sign of their parents getting up to set out the gifts. Sure enough, within minutes, they heard a door quietly open out in the hallway - footsteps climbing down the stairs - and rummaging in the main room, where the Christmas tree was located. Anna's eyes grew wide when she noticed her sister getting up to walk out of their room. "Are you _crazy?_" she asked. "You'll get _caught!_"

"Look who's already given up on the idea of a Santa..." Alexis muttered, quietly opening their door and checking the hall. "You coming or not?"

Anna hesitated, and nodded. Despite the danger, being a part of her sister's big plans was quite a lot of fun. The two crept out of their shared bedroom and into the hall, going deathly still whenever the noises from downstairs persisted. "Let me take a look..." Alexis whispered, stepping forward to peek down the stairs and find out who was behind it all. Alexis grew _very_ quite, prompting Anna to ask, "Do you see anything? Who's down there?"

...

"Go back," Alexis muttered, creeping away from the stairs. "Back to the room. Just go back."

"Did you see Santa? You _did_, didn't you? I _told you!_ I was right for once!"

"Shut up! All I know is that someone is wearing a Santa costume, and they're downstairs! That could _easily_ be Dad! They're both fat!"

Anna giddily hopped back onto her bed, thinking of her triumph. "I _knew_ Santa was real," she whispered to herself. "I just _knew it._ Our parents aren't liars. Santa is in _our house right now, _putting out _our presents!_ Do you think I could meet him? I always thought he was only in movies."

"God, listen to yourself, Anna," Alexis muttered, pulling her knees close to her chest as she sat on the bed, waiting for the sun to rise. "Why would Santa come to our house at _six in the morning?_ You're _stupid_." Anna frowned, and pointed out, "You shouldn't call people names. It's not nice." In response, Alexis just rolled her eyes, and said, "I can say bad words if I want. Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb. See? Go on, say something bad. Say something like - like _crap!_"

Anna winced, and said, "Gosh, you act like a gross _boy_ sometimes. I don't want to get in trouble saying a bad word."

"You're just a baby."

"I'm almost as old as you!"

There was a sudden, quiet knock on their door, and the two girls instantly dove under their covers, pretending to be asleep within seconds. Slowly, their mother opened the door, peeking her small, gentle little head in to check on the girls. "Hey, girls?" she whispered. "Lexie? Anna? It's time to open presents. Are you two up?"

Alexis murmured something incomprehensible, and shifted her head, as though she'd been deep asleep for a long time. "Wha?" she mumbled. "It's Christmas already?"

Their mother nodded, smiling patiently at the two. "We'll be downstairs when you two are ready," she said, winking at them. "Don't take too long. Daddy's making pancakes and eggs." Their mother quietly left the room, and closed the door, at which point Alexis instantly sprung from her bed and excitedly whispered, "I _knew it!_ Santa isn't real! Why would Mom come up _immediately after_ Santa left? Watch Dad forget to take off the costume. In your _face_, Anna. I _told you._"

Anna didn't say anything, and instead chose to ignore the problem altogether. "We should probably go downstairs," she quietly mumbled as her sister gloated. "I don't think we should keep Mom and Dad waiting. Plus, I wanna open up gifts." The two promptly left their room, and navigated the halls to the first floor of their home, gazing at the pile of presents below the Christmas tree. The smell of cooking eggs wafted up from down below, courtesy of their father. Their Mom waved from the foyer, and pointed at the gifts. "Look at what Santa brought you two!" she said. "Toys!"

The two girls' faces lit up with excitement as they raced downstairs. "Can we start opening _now?_" Alexis asked, hungrily staring at all the wrapped boxes. "I wanna start _now!_" Their mother held up a finger, and warned, "Be patient, Lexie. We'll start soon enough. Daddy's making breakfast." Alexis pouted her face, and roughly sat down, surrounded by her presents. Anna frowned at her older sister, and pointed out, "Y'know, Dad says some people don't even _get_ any presents for Christmas. Maybe you should be grateful for what you do have."

"It's hard to be 'grateful' when I can't _open any of my presents!_" Alexis bellowed to no one in particular. Anna, in contrast, sat very quietly at the base of the stairs, waiting for their parents to return. Minutes later, Mom and Dad came back, both grinning from ear-to-ear and indicating the piles of presents. "Go ahead, open some!" their father insisted, wearing a cooking apron. Alexis immediately tore into one of her packages, as Anna tentatively picked up one of her own; a light, small box, as opposed to Alexis's big, heavy ones.

"Oh, my god!" Alexis cried, holding up a box. "You guys got me an _iPod?_ The new version?"

"_Santa_ does know you like your music so much," said Mom, smiling sadly at their daughter. "Go on, try it out." And Alexis did, pulling the tiny device out of its box to see if it worked. "This is _awesome,_" Alexis said, waving the iPod around. "Everyone at school is gonna be _so_ jealous. I have an _iPod._ I bet Nathan's gonna cry because of it. Serves him right for beating me in the spelling bee."

"Be nice to him," Dad warned. "He seems like a very nice boy. It would be a shame for you to burn bridges with anybody at school." Alexis rolled her eyes, and quietly muttered, "Whatever..." right when she spotted a small, poorly-wrapped gift sitting underneath a box. She snatched it, and read the tag.

"TO ALEXIS, FROM ANNA"

Alexis blinked. "You got me a present?" she asked, holding up the little box. Anna nodded, nervously watching her sister's reaction. Alexis shrugged, and tore it open, rummaging around in the contents. She then pulled out what looked like a Ring Pop.

...

"You got me a Ring Pop for Christmas?" Alexis asked, showing Anna. A tiny, terrified nod from Anna.

...

And then, Alexis hugged her sister tight. "You're not so bad. Y'know?" said Alexis quietly. "Thank you, sis. I'll remember this."

"Merry Christmas, Alexis."

"You too. We'll always be best friends, right?"

"Definitely."

**Sunday, January 18th, 2009. Richmond, Virginia. 3:11 PM.**

One lone, ten-year-old African-American girl trudged through the streets of Richmond, taking care to avoid the thin, icy piles of snow lined along the sidewalks. Her breath floated out in front of her as thin flakes drifted down from an overcast sky. Somewhere in the distance, a siren wailed in the city. The girl walked away from her building, near Monroe Park, on her way to the store to buy food. She'd been given ten dollars by her mother for groceries, and typically walked as quickly as she could to the store.

A car blasting rap music rolled past, drowning out the distant siren temporarily. She ignored it, and kept on her path. After all, her mother had always told her to never talk to strangers, especially in this world. The mid-winter chill she received certainly wasn't welcome, in her book; she didn't quite do the best against snow. Nevertheless, she pressed on, finally arriving at a small corner store owned by a friend of her mother.

"Kierra! Sweetie, how you been?" the shopkeeper asked, who Kierra knew as Miss Judie. Miss Judie was a rather old black lady who held a quiet, strong dignity retained from decades of hardship. "Y'all keepin' okay? How's yo' momma? She doin' alright?"

"She's doing okay," Kierra responded, browsing the aisles of the tiny shop for the essentials. "I think she's having problems at the laundromat. They might lay her off if this economy gets any worse."

Miss Judie made a "tch" noise, and rifled through some newspapers on the counter. "Hon, this economy ain't gettin' no better anytime," she claimed. "I likes to call it the Great Recession. We gotta have hope, though, darlin'. Stay strong. How's li'l Benny?" Kierra picked up a loaf of bread, priced at two dollars, which was substantially more expensive than in previous months. "He's okay, I guess," Kierra muttered. "What else are you gonna expect from a little kid like him? I just don't want him to get caught up in what's cool and what's not."

A sigh from Miss Judie. "Well, tell yo' momma I said hey," she said. "Y'all keep good, now. You need any help pickin' out food?"

"No, thanks, Miss Judie," Kierra responded. She then frowned at a carton of eggs from the refrigerator. "These are up five cents from last week. What's going on? Miss Judie, I can't use the entirety of the ten dollars, there has to be some change left." Miss Judie merely sighed. "This economy's hard," she quietly said. "It ain't easy makin' a livin' no more. I'd really like to keep it below a dollar thirty cents, but the suppliers keep jackin' up the price, too, so... sorry, darlin'." Kierra sighed, and put the carton in her bag anyway. Going without food would be worse than going without money, anyway. Once she'd gotten all the food necessary, Kierra walked up to the counter, and deposited the bag. Miss Judie rang up the purchase, and frowned deeply.

"Ohhh, honey, it's gonna be eleven dollars, ninety-two cents," she said. Kierra stared in disbelief. "I - I only have ten dollars with me," she said nervously. "I can go back home to get some more - I have money saved up, I have three dollars-"

"Sweetie, don't worry about it!" Miss Judie said, smiling warmly at Kierra. "I know yo' momma. I got you covered. You don't even gotta pay me back. Consider it a late Christmas gift." Kierra gasped in relief, and said, "_Thank_ you, Miss Judie - I'll pay you back tomorrow, I have money. Don't worry about it." Miss Judie waved a careless hand. "I'll see you next week, hon," she said as Kierra walked out the door. "You stay safe, now!"

"I will!" Kierra promised, and walked down the sidewalk, nearly slipping on a hazardous patch of ice. Snow whipped past her face as she sprinted back towards her apartment building, the ten-year-old haphazardly swinging the plastic bag of groceries on her hand. She skidded past a corner, and darted into her apartment building, nearly knocking down the sixty-year-old homeless man who sat outside the entrance, wearing a Santa costume, despite the fact that Christmas had been over for more than three weeks. Kierra ran past an out-of-order elevator, and rapidly began climbing the concrete stairs to the third floor, finally arriving at her small family's even smaller apartment.

"I'm back!" Kierra announced, upon stepping in, taking care to shut the door from behind her. Her weary mother poked her head from out behind the couch, and said, "Oh, good, you're here. Benny's hungry, do you mind...?"

"Yeah, no problem," Kierra said, quickly setting down the food on the counter to put it in the fridge. A moment of silence passed, and then her Mom looked up again. "Where's the change?" she asked, and Kierra grew very still. "It... cost more than ten dollars," Kierra mumbled quietly after her mother's glare rested on her. A sigh from her Mom. "_Christ,_ Kierra!" she cried, prompting Benny, who sat on the sofa beside Mom, to cry out loud. "We don't have the _money_ to pay Miss Judie back! I'll - I'll speak to her, don't worry, just... ugh..."

"It's okay, Mom, I'll pay her back," promised Kierra, already setting out a frying pan on the stove. "I have three dollars saved up. I'll pay her tomorrow after school. I can do this, Mom. Trust me." Her mother faltered for a moment, and then nodded. "Do it _soon,_" she ordered. "You know how people get when they don't get their money." Kierra nodded, cutting up the tomatoes needed to make pasta sauce. With the long sticks of spaghetti boiling in a pot of water, she could finally rest; but not before baby Benny needed to have his diaper changed. At the age of ten, Kierra acted as a mother for her little brother. She had no father that she knew. Her life, up until The Fifty State Roadtrip, would be rife with poverty and hardship.

Kierra set the freshly-diapered Benny back into his crib in the living room, and stared out the dirty, frosted window, gazing upon the distant skyscrapers of Richmond. She wondered what it would be like to be unchained from the restraints of poverty. She wondered of the possibilities in pursuing the career she wanted, instead of knowing that she probably wouldn't be going to college. Kierra, the girl from Virginia, sighed, and accepted the impossibility of such a reality. There was no use in wishing for anything different than what she got.

...

Exactly five years later, Kierra and her family was half a million dollars richer. They moved out of the projects, and into a safer neighborhood in a quiet historic district in Richmond. By 2016, Kierra had applied to some of the top schools in the country, boasting an ACT score of 34. By adulthood, she was attending law school, studying to become a Civil Rights attorney. Her career, tinged with her infamy from The Fifty State Roadtrip, was one of hard work and success. This was Kierra's life - not as a poverty-stricken young girl living in the Great Recession, but as a young woman, working hard to assure her prosperity.

And Virginia was happy.

**Friday, March 25th, 2011. Boston, Massachusetts. 2:39 PM.**

SLAM. The metal door of a plain white locker slammed shut. A thirteen-year-old boy fiddled with his glasses, and ran a hand through his short, sand-colored hair. His backpack was slung over his shoulder, and he walked down the tiled halls of his middle school. All around him, his obnoxious, immature peers caused a ruckus, as he kept his distance. So far, his time in seventh grade hadn't been a pleasant one; on one hand, everyone kept claiming he was attracted to boys, which, as far as he knew, was not true; but on the other hand, the schoolwork was only getting harder and harder, making any kind of enjoyment on his part impossible.

However, the school day was finally over, so the boy stepped outside and into the sunlight, breathing in the warmth of an early Spring afternoon. Off across the river, the city of Boston rose up, a true American metropolis in the second decade of the twenty-first century. The boy, full backpack in tow, set his path along the sidewalk towards home. It'd been a long week. Seventh grade is some seriously strenuous stuff.

A sixth grader suddenly started waving at him sporadically. "Bye, Zachary!" the kid yelled. Zachary waved a little bemusedly; he knew the younger kid through chess club, though felt somewhat embarrassed to know him. For Zachary, middle school was all about fitting in, finding out who you were, and making sure your image was up-to-par. Of course, as he went on into high school, he cared less and less about such trivial matters.

The cool March breeze lifted his hair as he trudged on ahead, warmth bathing his skin. Spring was the best month, he reasoned, because it was a month of rebirth and of life. Flowers bloomed, giving a new, vibrant color to the ordinarily dreary gray landscape of Boston. Zachary walked with a renewed vigor to his home, only a few blocks away from the middle school in East Boston; a school he shared with over six hundred other pupils.

Within just minutes, he was walking up the sidewalk to his house, a cramped two-story building lined with blossoming pink flowers. A flock of birds scattered upon his arrival as he pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and slowly cracked open the door, yelling, "Mom, I'm home!"

A vague shout came from upstairs, which Zachary regarded to be a cry of confirmation. He set down his bag on a rickety wooden kitchen table, and sighed, looking around their home. Time for homework. Right? Before Zachary could even think about getting started on the hefty assignments ahead of him, his little sister Alice came running in, positively ecstatic. "Wanna play a _game _with me?" the six-year-old screamed, jumping up and down and shaking her little fists everywhere. Zachary groaned, and muttered, "Not today, Alice, I've got homework-"

"It's the _weekend!_" Alice insisted, and she was exactly right. Zachary paused, and muttered, "Maybe another time. I've kind of had a stressful week at school, and I'd appreciate it if you left me alone for a bit." Alice frowned, and folded her arms, running to the backyard to play with the dog. Zachary sighed. She was a fun little sister, sure, but enough was enough sometimes.

From somewhere upstairs, Zach's seventeen-year-old brother played on his Xbox 360. The sound of gunfire and screaming zombies could be heard alongside his yells into the microphone to his teammates. Recently, that was all his bro ever did - play video games. Not that Zachary was complaining - it meant peace and quiet for him. Zachary picked up the newspaper off the counter, and took it with him upstairs to his room. As his little sister Alice said, there would be plenty of time for homework later, but that didn't change the fact that Zachary was in an introverted mood at the moment.

He pushed open the door to his room, and dropped the newspaper on the bed, proceeding to switch on his small student laptop. His rooms was a small little abode, tucked between his parents' room and the bathroom. With a sigh, as his computer began to boot up, Zachary picked up the newspapers and started to read.

It was just the same politically-charged garbage as usual. He was about to toss it aside, but the advertisements page caught his eyes. Zach frowned, and flipped the paper over, scanning the ads. Most seemed to be just regular business ads, whereas others were personal ads, like requests for specific favors and job offerings. Largest of all, however, was a huge, half-page ad that read, "TOTAL DRAMA REVENGE OF THE ISLAND AUDITIONS".

Zachary sighed, glaring over the huge font and exorbitant claims this show put out. _Reality television is_ _stupid,_ Zachary thought to himself._ The only thing people even do on there is argue. There are way more important things to worry about, like money, and getting good grades._

_I'm never gonna be on reality TV. Who would even want to?_

**Tuesday, December 25th, 2012. Los Angeles, California. 8:54 AM.**

"Oh my _god!_ Daddy! You bought me a _car for Christmas?_ _Thank you-thank you-thank you!_ I wish I had my license _sooo__ much_ right now!"

An attractive, fifteen-year-old girl jumped up and down, standing outside a rather luxurious mansion in Beverly Hills. A bright sun beamed down on her, as she stood beside her two parents, all marveling at the pink convertible the young girl now owned. "She's all yours!" the father exclaimed, nervously smiling and gesturing at the vehicle. "Once you get your learner's permit, of course. Now, remember, Caroline, owning a vehicle comes with a _lot_ of responsibility. It's like, uh... owning a business! You gotta take care of it - _clean_ it - take it out every now and then - kind of like your mother!"

The mom gasped, and playfully slapped her husband on the arm as Caroline continued squealing. "Oh, my god, I have to upload this to Facebook," she gasped, holding up her iPhone 5 and taking a picture of the shiny new car. "_Thank_ you, Daddy! This is the _best Christmas ever!_ Apart from the one time we all went to Honolulu. I think we all can agree nothing tops that Christmas. Wait until _Brad_ sees this. He's _totally_ going to want to-"

"Who's Brad?"

"Oh, he's just some boy at school, he goes to the country club sometimes - Mom, you've seen him - hold on - _someone already liked my picture!_ Oh, Jennifer is so sweet - I love her dog so much - I wonder what _she_ got for Christmas - oh, I just have to ask!"

The father sighed, and checked his watch, as his wife retreated back into the house. "Well, sweetie, I need to check on things back at the office," he told Caroline, who still seemed to be fawning over her car. "You stay here with Mom. I'll be back by noon. _Don't_ drive anywhere. Okay?"

Caroline nodded vaguely, typing something into her phone as she walked inside. Moments later, her father was driving away, leaving Caroline alone with her mother. She walked back into the enormous mansion, paying little attention to the luxuries she enjoyed. It was nothing new to her, after all; these were items and services she'd enjoyed her entire life.

For a moment, Caroline stared at her phone, in apparent disbelief. "No way..." she muttered, reading a message. "No way - lemme call-" She pressed a few buttons on the phone, and said into it, "Hello? Yeah, Stephanie? You what? You're at the _country club?_ And _Brad's there?_ Hold on - my Dad just left the house, and - but I got a new _car!_ D'you wanna-"

Caroline paused as a loud squealing was let out on the other end. "You want me to _drive_ there?" Carolina asked, eyes nervously flickering behind her, where her mother lurked in the house. "I mean - of _course_ I can, I have my, uh - my license, er - permit, sort of, but - we're kind of - _right now?_ I - okay!"

The phone shut off, and Caroline silently giggled to herself, jumping up and down in ecstasy. She ran out the front door, quietly chanting, "_Brad is at the country club!_ _Brad is at the country club!_" With the keys from her pocket, Caroline unlocked the door to her new car, nervously placing herself inside and sticking the key into where she believed the ignition was located. The car revved to life, as Caroline looked over the interior, trying to figure out which buttons did what. She put what she believed to be the gear into drive, and slowly pulled out of the driveway, letting the Beverly Hills air run through her hair.

"_Woo!_ I'm _driving!_"

Her short trip mainly consisted of a lot of sudden stops and braking, though she did manage to avoid hitting anything. In ten minutes, her pink convertible pulled up to the country club parking lot. Caroline saw her friends sitting on a concrete wall, and waved. "_Hey,_ guys!" she squealed, climbing out of the car and taking care to shut the door. "Look at my _car!_"

"Whoa! Girl, when'd you get your license?" a dude asked, who Caroline knew as Chad. She giggled, and swung the keys around, showing them all. "I can't say!" she claimed, giving them a wink. Stephanie smirked, and pointed at the country club. "C'mon, we're playing tennis," she said. "Brad's up there, and I _know_ how much you're into him..."

Caroline gasped, blushed, and exclaimed, "No, I am _not!_ Oh, Stephanie, you hush - I'm only here for the _tennis_ and my _friends_, you know that - and Brad is a friend-"

"A special friend? Come on, girl, you're fifteen. You haven't even had a boyfriend yet! He's right up here. I'll do some of the talking."

"...Okay."

**Friday, June 6th, 2014. Seattle, Washington. 3:14 PM.**

"Please, Andy - I _really_ don't want people to know - you _know that_-"

"You're the one who's fucking dumping me, Daniel! What, the past five months don't mean _anything_ to you? I _helped you!_ You were the one drowning in your failing grades!"

Two guys argued behind a high school in early June. A blistering summer sun bored down upon the city of Seattle, as students everywhere rejoiced to the sound of another school year ending. For the two boys, they'd just finished their Sophomore year. The shorter, slightly younger one, named Daniel, had a terrified, pleading look on his face, while Andy just wore a stout, dark expression. Daniel said, "I'm _sorry,_ Andy, but you _know_ how my parents are! I can't let them know. I'll - I'll tell them some day, but for right now, things are just getting too obvious around them-"

"Then come out of the fucking closet! Half the school knows it by now."

"Only because _you _told them, asshole! It's shit like this! When you make it _obvious_ that we're dating, people _tend to figure out!_ I got _mugged_ last Thursday. In the bathroom. You keep forgetting about that, but it's all because you told _literally everyone-_"

"Daniel. Stop yelling. Yelling is for people who don't have the know-how to prove a point by using polite, mutually respectable discussion. We're staying together, whether you like it or not. And your parents are going to _have_ to know _eventually._ I mean, what, do you think you can just run away from your problems? We all have to face ourselves some day, Daniel."

Daniel just threw his hands up into the air, and stomped towards the road. Andy raised his hands, and yelled, "Where are you even _going?_ Daniel, come back. We're still talking here. This is no way to solve your problems."

"I'm going _home!_" Daniel shouted, tear-stains coating his cheeks, as his mother's car pulled up. He threw his empty backpack in the backseat, and hopped into the front, slamming the car door. "Daniel, what's the matter?" his Mom asked, incredibly concerned. Her gaze kept flickering between Daniel and Andy, who just leaned against the school wall, glaring at Daniel. "Is he trying to attack you? I thought that was your friend."

"He's not a friend anymore..." Daniel muttered, wiping his eyes. "Just... I wanna go home, it's summer, _please, _I just don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry."

...

They rode in silence, until arriving at a small, one-story home in the distant suburbs of Seattle. Before his mom could try to console him, however, Daniel immediately jumped out of the car, forgetting his book bag, and storming into the house. His mother, unsure of whether or not to be concerned or scared, attempted following him inside. "Daniel? Sweetie, do you want to talk?" she asked, calling into the house. The only sound she heard in response was the loud slam of a door.

Daniel paced his room in a manic terror - Andy was going to tell everyone, including Daniel's parents - Daniel was only _halfway_ through high school, this couldn't be happening now - there _had_ to be a way out of this. Some sort of escape hatch. Or an off switch. Please, god, let there be an off switch. _If he thinks I just run away from my problems all the time, well, how would he feel if I did run away?_ Daniel angrily and somewhat nonsensically thought to himself, sitting down roughly on the bed. _Since he's just sooo smart. I'm just as smart as him. He always does that. I bet he wouldn't even care if I just ran away! But that's not a reasonable thing to do._

Slowly, Daniel began to calm down, glaring around the room at his possessions, meager though they were. _This is awful. I know my parents will probably disown me or something. Why does Andy have to be like this? He always knows just what button to push to make me absolutely pissed, and - ugh - what am I even supposed to do?_

His gaze traveled over a large lump of newspapers in the corner. With slow, trudging footsteps, Daniel stood up, and rifled through them absent-mindedly - something, _anything_ to keep his mind off the problem - since that's what he was _so good at_, running away from problems-

And then, one particular advertisement caught his eye, one the size of half the page. His eyes widened, and he looked over it with a scrutinizing stare.

"THE FIFTY STATE ROADTRIP AUDITIONS"

The idea hit him like a ton of bricks. Half an hour later, Daniel sat on his bed, filling out dozens of applications to all the teen reality shows he could find, all sponsored by the one and only media empire, CampTV. It was a plan. It was a way out. And - _damn it_ - if a way out meant running like a girl, then that's what he was going to do. If it meant getting away from all of - _this_ - for six months... then he was in.

**Sunday, July 6th, 2014. Washington, DC. 10:01 AM.**

"Alright! Listen up, scrubs! Each of you represents your home state! You may not tell anyone your name! You have to go by the state that you're from. Capiche?"

"So... I would go by, what, Michigan?"

"Correct-a-mundo. Fifty states. Twice a week. Twenty-five weeks."

**aspiringAnimator** - Happy Christmas, everybody! This was a very fun update to make. I do enjoy exploring these contestants' back-stories. It makes me feel like they are actual characters that I had developed thoroughly before beginning this fic, instead of just being cardboard cut outs that gradually became filled with life over the course of about six months! Although the names were set at the very start - like South Dakota's name, Anna. In the very first episode, North Dakota almost calls her that, before correcting herself. Go look, it's there!

This chapter featured contestants North Dakota, Virginia, Massachusetts, California, and Washington. The next (and final, really) chapter will feature New Mexico, Hawaii, New York, Oregon, and South Dakota! There was a tie between New Jersey and New Mexico, but I chose New Mexico because he has more _stuff_ to his story line. Though I will pay special attention to New Jersey, just because he got the same votes as New Mexico.

Last chance to review. We're in this fic's final dying breaths now. Just a heads up, next chapter will take place in exactly one location on exactly one day, so it won't jump between scenes like we did with this one. Onwards!


	52. New Year's Eve

**EPISODE 51: NEW YEAR'S EVE**

_"It's a party full of, like, forty teenagers. What did you expect?" - Washington_

**Wednesday, December 31st, 2014. New York City, New York. 6:19 PM.**

New York City on New Year's Eve.

That incredible, colossal city of drunkards, loners, crooks, elite, rich, and poor. A bustling city, filled with commerce and destitution, production and stagnation, and optimism heaped under monotonous boredom. The city venerated by all others; the ideal metropolis, held in the highest esteem. The rich and famous flocked from all over the world to bask in the parties of wealthy socialites, dining in skyscrapers new and old to celebrate this grand city. However, this was no ordinary night for the city of giants; it was New Year's Eve, a night that New York was especially known for. And in the penthouse suite of the most luxurious hotel in Times Square, the girl known as South Dakota was holding a huge party for every contestant on the show, all expenses paid.

A situation like this could never go wrong! Nooo, _never_.

Two guests arrived as a sun began to dip below the horizon, its orange rays rolling across towering buildings unmatched in size. The two well-dressed teens stepped out of a taxi, paid their driver, and hurried through the bustling crowds. "Man, I never liked big cities..." New Mexico muttered, his jacket drawn tight around him and arm locked around Arizona's. "And I don't see why we gotta wear these name tags. We all know each other. We spent half of the past year with each other."

"It's for our real names," Arizona pointed out, adjusting her own, which read "ASHLEY" in tragically bold Comic Sans. "But we don't have to address each other using the names. Not _once_ have _I_ called you Paul, anyway."

"Just the way I like it," New Mexico agreed, sporting a boyish grin as the two hustled through the New Year's Eve crowd to get in the hotel. "Honestly, I kinda like New Mexico more than Paul. I always thought Paul sounded like the name of a douche bag. No offense to all the other Pauls out there, of course. Who all's coming to this thing?"

"Well, I know Virginia will be here, she just texted me..." mumbled Arizona as she fished in her purse for her phone. "And Washington and Oregon. And - obviously South Dakota... California said she might come if her flight wouldn't take too long..." They stepped into the hotel, and found a group of some of the more prominent southerners waiting for the elevators. "Oh, hey, y'all!" Alabama cried, waving at the two. His name tag, slightly crooked, spelled out "RICK". "I was 'fraid we were at the wrong building. This is where the party's at, right?"

Mississippi was at his side, dressed in a short, flowing dress. Behind the two, Texas stood, as tall as ever, all waiting on the elevator. Pinned onto his shirt was the name tag "TED". "For such a fancy hotel, you'd think they'd have some pretty fancy elevators to go 'long with it!" Mississippi cried, right when the box arrived on their floor to take them up. "Well, as far as I know, not everyone's gonna be there," New Mexico mentioned, stepping in and pressing the open door button. Once the five had gone in, the elevator began its ascent in the aging skyscraper.

Arizona began to nervously check herself out through a small mirror, when New Mexico put a hand over hers and muttered, "Baby, you look fine. Everyone's gonna be happy to see you no matter what. This is gonna be a judge-free party."

"Not everyone from this show was very _nice,_" Arizona reminded, as though she didn't seem eager to believe it. "North Dakota might be here. And I know there were jerks in the other teams. I just-"

"Uh, yeah, North Dakota's not gonna be there, y'all," Texas piped up. "South said so. She said North wasn't allowed anywhere near the building at _all._ And it's not like anybody's even heard from that girl since the finale. She might be dead, for all we know."

"Oh, shush, Tex," Mississippi warned, adjusting her name tag, which read, "MARY". Mississippi then flipped her hair, and declared, "That North girl is probably _fine._ Angrier than a hog gone wild, sure, but fine nonetheless. Now all of y'all quiet down, we're about to step into the party."

The elevator slowed to a stop, and the doors open, letting in thumping electronic music. The final beams of the setting sun flickered across the walls, mingling with waving disco lights and colored wall lights. The room was crowded, filled with over thirty teenagers and a number of staff and VIP personnel. Arizona quickly glanced around the room of familiar faces, and stammered, "I really ought to touch up on my makeup - Mexico, hon, I'll be right back. Just going to go to the restroom. Would you mind getting a drink for me?"

"No problem!" New Mexico yelled back, as Texas, Alabama, and Mississippi all melted into the party to greet their fellow southerners. He waded into the party, looking over the heads of his friends and acquaintances made during the course of the show. After a moment of searching, he spotted a friendly face - Hawaii - and raised a hand, shouting, "Yo! Hawaii! Hey, man!" Hawaii's face lit up, and he pushed through the crowd to embrace New Mexico. "Hey, bro!" Hawaii yelled over the music, smiling widely. "I knew you'd make it. Where's Arizona?"

"Oh, she's handling her girl problems, probably," responded New Mexico vaguely, jerking a thumb towards the bathrooms. "Makeup and all that. She's probably afraid she'll turn people into stone like - like, uh, Madonna. Er - not Madonna, I meant Medusa, sorry - how've you been, Hawaii? How was Christmas for you? Did you go back to the islands to celebrate it?"

Hawaii shrugged, sipping from a plastic cup of punch. "Nah. Christmas, uh, wasn't really a very big holiday back home. So I kind of just hung out in DC after the finale, like some of the others. And then we heard about South's party, so... here we are. For a bit, I tried finding out where North Dakota went after the finale, but... I couldn't find her. She wouldn't answer my calls. Man, dude... I thought me and her were together."

New Mexico frowned. "She was bad news, dude," he told Hawaii. "I think maybe you're attracted to bad girls or something. I dunno. Nobody's seen her. I'm kinda just here for South Dakota - I wouldn't have even come if I knew her sister would be here. Hawaii, dude, you gotta forget about her - there are _waaay_ better girls out there. And - whoa - your name is Leo? Like Leonardo Di Caprio?"

Hawaii suddenly looked down at his chest, and discovered the name tag that was pinned, and in danger of falling off. "Oh. Yeah, I guess," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. "But I don't really, uh, go by Leo much these days, I've kinda gotten _really_ used to Hawaii as a name. It's what most of the fans call me." New Mexico nodded, as though he could relate. "I know what you mean, dude," New Mexico said, adjusting his own name tag. "Paul just sounds _foreign_ to me now. But whatever. I'm just kind of bummed about having to go back to school in the Spring..."

At that moment, California walked up, eyes cast downwards to the floor. "Hi, Hawaii..." she mumbled. "How've you been?"

Hawaii blinked, and then smiled at her. "Oh, great!" he exclaimed. "Callie, I haven't seen you in _forever _- yo, how's life in SoCal? I've been meaning to give you a call. You were one of my best friends on the show."

She smiled brilliantly at that. New Mexico began to glance around, feeling like a third wheel. "Really?" California asked, flattered. "Well - I mean, I've missed you. Since I got kicked off, I mean. We had some really fun times back in Team Victory, didn't we? Feels like a _decade_ away. Remember when you used the condoms as water balloons, and we flung them at the other buses? Er - whatever you filled them with, anyways."

Hawaii let out a laugh. "That was the _best,_" he sighed. "Yo, Callie, I gotta say, this was a fun show, for all the pain we went through. And, um... if you ever wanna... y'know, talk, or... hang out or something... I'm here for you. Seriously. Now that I'm probably gonna be living in The States, I thought maybe we could..."

New Mexico suddenly raised a hand, and loudly proclaimed, "Well, it looks like I need to go to the bathroom!"

He then walked off, though not without a wink and a pat on Hawaii's back, who grew irked with New Mexico's assumption. Nevertheless, Hawaii and California proceeded on through the penthouse in an attempt to get away from the dancing crowds of reunited contestants. They finally found a spot in a corner, in front of the huge, floor-to-ceiling windows that allowed a full view of Times Square. For a moment, the two were silent, and then California mumbled, "Hawaii... I really missed you. Like, gosh, I don't think I ever really realized it while I was on the show... we were just friends, of course, but..."

Hawaii gazed at California expectantly, excitement mounting in him. California paused, and then continued, "...you really do mean a lot to me. And now that the show is over, and we're all basically _free_ to do whatever we want with our lives... I mean, I'm going to be a _model!_ And I got invited to be on the radio back in LA! And... you'll do whatever it is _you_ want to do with your life, but... agh, I'm not really saying this very well..."

Standing beside California, Hawaii's gaze searched the floor in a vain attempt to avoid California's eyes. "I think I know what you mean, Callie," he muttered quietly. "You mean a lot to me, too. We had a lot of fun on the show, and... we all did some dumb things, got involved with people we shouldn't have - you _and_ me - and... I just... I'm sorry, Callie, but I really like you. Sitting next to North Dakota in some crap fast food restaurant while I was in the final five _sucked._ Sitting next to _you_ on Team Victory's bus while it was still _September_ was awesome. I think I know who I'd pick."

She blushed, and the two looked out onto the city, their hands holding. Down in the illuminate abyss, the reveling crowds grew in fervor, as only five hours remained until 2015. With the end of this year came the promise of a new one to come, one that evidently included Hawaii and California, together.

**7:11 PM.**

One bored ex-contestant slumped over a table, palm resting on his face, as he limply held a cup of fruit punch and gazed at Hawaii and California standing together, ignorant of the partying going around them. The teen checked his watch, right before he was nearly clocked in the face by Tennessee's elbow as she danced with Texas. Muttering something, he was about to stand, when a friendly voice cried, "Hey! New York! I didn't even know you were here!"

New York turned around, grinning at his newest companion, Massachusetts. "Mind if I take a seat at your loner table?" Massachusetts asked, sitting down with a groan and obstructing York's view of Hawaii and California. "Ohhh, man, this is a fun party. It's so weird seeing everyone here. You should've shot me a text, dude, I've been looking all over for you." New York shrugged, and drained the rest of his punch with a gulp. "This place is a mad house," he told Massachusetts. "But I figured I'd come since, y'know, it's a ten minute drive from my family's apartment. Plus, I was excited to see all of you guys."

Massachusetts nodded in agreement, carefully eyeing his friend. New York sighed, and muttered, "I made a lot of mistakes during the show. A _ton_ of mistakes. After everything I did, I _more than_ deserved to get kicked off. I mean... I allied with North Dakota. _North Dakota!_ I should've immediately known she would back stab me less than a week later. And I... _used_ Hawaii after the first merge... to get _votes._ And obviously he started hating me for that. Anybody would've."

"Hey, dude, don't beat yourself up over it," Massachusetts said, smiling sadly. "The show is over. I think everyone can agree that the worst person on the show is North Dakota, not you." New York shrugged, and said, "Yeah... I guess, man. I guess life just returns to normal, huh? We go back to school and endure an incalculable amount of undue attention from fans for the rest of our lives. Even into my adult life, I'll be known as New York, and not Henry."

Massachusetts, who'd been watching South Dakota stand on stage, overlooking everything, suddenly did a double take and stared at New York. "Your name is Henry?" he asked, looking down at New York's name tag. "Oh. Well, my name is Zachary, heh. And I want to put everything bad between us _behind_ us. We're friends. We were always meant to be friends, when you think about it. If we'd just shut up and stayed on the same side after that first merge, who knows what would've happened? There wouldn't have been two opposing alliances in Team Freedom. Everyone would've been friends, more or less."

New York lowered his head, nearly setting it on the table, as he let the consequences of his actions crash around him again. "God, I really screwed up on that show," he muttered. "Team Freedom could've been the best team, winning every single challenge. I'm sorry, Mass - er, Zachary. I just... I screwed up." Massachusetts patted New York on the back, and muttered, "It's okay, York. You did your best. We all did."

Just then, the two were interrupted by a rather loud commotion from the dance floor - a large area was cleared, revealing New Jersey dancing erratically in the middle of the dance floor while yelling lyrics that didn't even match the song. Delaware was shrieking at him, and tugging his arm, trying to calm him down. "_Jordan!_ Stop it!" she yelled, aware that he was gaining everyone's stares. "You're causing a scene _again!_"

Massachusetts and New York stared with all the others at the two struggling; "Jordan" seemed to be trying his best to reach the juice bar, though he also seemed intoxicated - and Delaware had on a terrified face, as she realized everyone was staring at she and New Jersey. "Look at those two," New York muttered to Massachusetts, appearing amused. "Delaware's been New Jersey's mediator ever since the two of them were voted off and became famous. New Jersey did the crazy stunts and parties... and Delaware was always there to calm him down and keep him out of any serious trouble. In a way, I guess his hitting on her finally paid off in the end..."

New Jersey lunged out of view, stumbling into a table of quiet Midwesterners, causing another accident. Eventually, hotel staff had to get involved, restraining New Jersey from causing any more damage to South Dakota's penthouse. In the wake of all the commotion, New York and Massachusetts were separated when Massachusetts noticed South Dakota calling everyone's attention again, and ran up to go talk to her. New York eventually just sat back down in his seat as he had been doing for the entire party so far, holding his empty cup and pretending like he was drinking from it. This is the reason he didn't like parties that much.

Over in the corner of his eyes, he spotted Connecticut haggling with Rhode Island about something, off in the corner. She seemed to have a pitying expression towards him as Connecticut pleaded; though they hadn't even really seen each other since early July, Connecticut was _still_ trying to get back together with her. New York chuckled, and stood to go throw away his plastic cup. Maybe if he left early, he could beat the traffic and be home in time to watch the ball drop on TV.

Just then, a tap on his shoulder made him turn to face Washington, who stood grinning at New York. "Oh, hey, man," New York sighed, not exactly wanting to speak to another person. At Washington's side, Oregon stood, dressed in a handsome tuxedo, texting away on his phone. "So how do you like the party?" Washington asked, one hand in his pocket, greeting New York like an old friend, despite the past differences between the two. "South Dakota set it up. But Oregon decorated, from what I know. You, um, need some more punch?"

"Nah, I'm good, I'm pretty sure it's spiked now..." New York warned, glancing again at New Jersey, who still seemed to be fighting against hotel authorities, much to the excitement of the rest of the party's guests. Washington looked down suspiciously at his own cup of punch, as Oregon said, "Oh, my gawsh, Virginia's supposed to be here in a few minutes. I can't wait. Daniel, you're _sure_ I look alright? Hold on - New York, do you think I look okay?"

New York looked up at Oregon, and distractedly muttered, "Oh, yeah - definitely, Oregon, you do, sure. Hey, listen, you two - I need to go talk to Pennsylvania. It's been forever since the two of us have talked, and... I need to see how she's been doing. The two of us have a lot of history." Washington waved a hand, grinned at New York, and said, "Yeah, that's fine, York. It's a party. Talk to whoever you want to talk to. Oregon and I will be around."

Washington watched New York disappear into the crowds, just as California passed by, holding hands with Hawaii. She tapped Oregon on the shoulder, and whispered, "I still think the two of you are _friggin' adorable._ Oh, my gosh, seriously. Hey - call me the next time you two are in LA, we could meet up sometime - I gotta go - bye!"

Oregon waved, and giggled at Hawaii, who seemed incredibly ecstatic, just to be side-by-side with California finally. "Collin, I'm gonna go get a drink, assuming the stuff isn't spiked," Washington suddenly said, pointing over at the far end of the penthouse. "I'll be right back. You want one?"

"Nah. I don't think I would like alcohol."

"It's not alcohol, though, it's-"

"I know for a _fact_ that New Jersey poured some in. It's, like, only nine o'clock, too."

Washington just shrugged in response, and then said, "It's a party full of, like, forty teenagers. What did you expect?"

**11:26 PM.**

The elevator opened, and a number of fresh teenagers flooded into the party room; the "fashionably late". In this case, however, it was a large number of members of Team America: Virginia, leading Ohio, West Virginia, and a number of others. West Virginia seemed to be continuing to fawn over Virginia, though after his escapades on the show, he'd scaled back some of his more irritating behavior into something more acceptable. Virginia squinted around the penthouse, and immediately spotted Oregon. She waved, calling, "Hey, Oregon! I made it!"

Oregon ran up and hugged Virginia. Ohio stood around, grimacing at the rambunctious teenage party with a disapproving stare. "I still can't believe my mom let me come to this party! _HEH!_" West Virginia suddenly exclaimed, sporting a name tag of "TOBY". Virginia glanced at West Virginia, and said, "Toby, _please_ just try not to act out too much. I'm here to see some of my old friends. Oregon, do you know where Arizona is? Or... South Dakota?"

"South is up on stage," Oregon declared, though she didn't seem to be up there at the moment. "And Arizona... I _saw_ her earlier, with New Mexico, but we didn't get to talk. She's here, though, just look around." Virginia nodded, satisfied. West Virginia, after a moment of silence in the group, cried, "Kierra, I still really think you should have won! You clearly deserved it the most, and none of the _other_ finalists were as perfect as you, _HEH!_ Wow, I barely know most of the people here-"

"Toby, _please,_" Virginia groaned, as though she'd spent much of the elevator ride up reprimanding West Virginia for the things he said. "I got _half a million dollars_ from South Dakota. That is _more_ than I ever wanted, really. I'm perfectly fine with getting in third. Please don't make Oregon or South Dakota uncomfortable, they were really nice to organize this party for us..." West Virginia quickly assumed an apologetic expression, and bowed. "So sorry," he apologized to Virginia. "I guess I just have a hard time expressing my affection for you! _HEH!_"

"Toby - _string bean_ - I am _not_ dating you - y'know what, I'm not entertaining the notion anymore, I'm going to go find South-"

Before Virginia could dart off into the crowd, however, Ohio suddenly yelped, and glared over at another party-goer: Michigan. Michigan looked over from where he danced with Alaska, and met Ohio's stare; he immediately stopped his jig, and faced Ohio with an expression mirroring that of someone faced with a slightly repulsive taste. Virginia noticed the two, and stepped in between them.

"Ugh. Virginia, you didn't tell me _he_ would be here," Ohio proclaimed, ignoring Michigan for the time being. Virginia sighed, and said, "Ugh, guys - give it a _rest_ - the stuff between you two happened in, like, August. How long can you two hold a grudge? It's stupid. Your fighting might have _destroyed_ Team America - before the first merge, even. Don't you two know when to _stop?_"

...

Their glares began to cool off. "Well, I don't like him, either," Michigan muttered. "He disliked me for no reason. He _always_ started the arguments! And no matter _how_ many times I tried to calm Ohio down, he always-"

"_You_ start all the arguments!" Ohio argued, stamping his foot. "You _started it._ Don't act like you're an innocent party here. You disliked me for no reason. Everything bad that happened in Team America was because you decided to hate me. For _no reason!_"

"Shut _up,_ you two!" Virginia cried again, drawing a few stares. "Do you two _hear each other?_ You are _literally almost the same person!_ The two of you like the same stuff! Your states are right next to each other! You both _look_ similar, for crying out loud! Why do you two hate each other so much? There's just so much loathing spontaneously generated for _no good reason, and I am sick of it!_"

Ohio and Michigan stared at Virginia with shocked expressions, and then glanced back at each other, guilt in their expressions. "I'm... sorry, I guess," Ohio mumbled, scratching the back of his head guiltily. "For getting you voted out and all. And being such a jerk sometimes."

"And I'm sorry for... everything," Michigan sighed, admitting it quietly. "For being an antagonistic prick, for avoiding you, for 'cursing' Team America, for... all the things that, frankly, don't matter at _all_ anymore. So... I guess... we're cool now? Even after everything?"

Ohio looked up, gave a small smile, and hugged Michigan, though quickly. "I guess that's that, then," Ohio sighed.

At that moment, the conversation around them quieted down as a figure stepped up on stage. South Dakota surveyed the teens in the crowd, and tapped on the microphone. "Hi!" she greeted, almost shrinking from having so many people look up at her. "I hope you guys are having fun. The New Year's countdown is going to happen in a few minutes, but I just wanted to make a little speech to thank everybody who came. I'm glad so many arrived, and remember, you've all got your own hotel rooms in this building, so feel free to spend the night here if you wish. But none of this would've been possible without all of your support."

She beamed at them all, and said, "We've all experienced the pain of being on that crappy, Chris-led show. We've faced weeks - months, for some of us, of struggling under the reign of Chris, and... _other..._ contestants, but now it's all over. And... I wouldn't have won without you guys. I don't even know what to do with three million dollars. I gave a million of it away total to two other finalists. It's really too much money. Which is _why..._ everyone who came to this party is getting a thousand dollars!"

Cheers went into the air. South Dakota smiled benevolently at them all, and continued, "Again, thank you, guys. So... let's all enjoy the last ten minutes of 2014! I have a _really_ good feeling about 2015, you guys!" She then stepped off stage, and the partying resumed. Within seconds, Virginia ran up to South, giving her a _huge_ hug. "South, I'm serious, you _really_ didn't have to give me any money," Virginia reassured her mid-embrace. "Seriously, girl, you _earned it._ After seeing what your sister tried to do? I'm _glad_ you got it." South Dakota blushed, and said, "Virginia, I was _happy_ giving you and Oregon some of the money. We'd all gotten so far, and... it'd seem like a shame if only I got to enjoy it."

At that time, Washington and Oregon arrived, both holding cups of water, instead of punch. "You guys ready for 2015?" Oregon asked excitedly, pulling his arms close to his chest and around his scarf, miming shivering. "Feels like the cold will never end, though, heh."

Massachusetts walked up, standing beside South Dakota and smiling at Washington and Oregon. There was an awkward silence until Oregon spotted Massachusetts sneakily holding South's hand. Eyes wide, Oregon looked back up at Massachusetts, and exclaimed, "Wait, you two are _together?_"

South Dakota and Massachusetts exchanged glances, and nodded, their cheeks burning a bright red. "Yeah," Massachusetts admitted, smiling. "I guess we are, huh? After the finale, I guess we just... got closer together. We spent Christmas together, and all that." South Dakota nodded, avoiding looking anyone in the eye, and blushing brightly. "Wow," Washington remarked, impressed. "Congrats, Massachusetts. I hope the two of you stick together for a long time."

Just then, New Mexico hopped on stage, pumping his fists excitedly, exclaiming, "Alright, guys, we've only got _one more minute until 2015!_ Are you guys excited, or _what?_ I wanna hear you guys yell that _you're excited!_"

All the ex-contestants cheered; Indiana, South Carolina, and Wisconsin all lifted North Carolina into the air, much to her surprise. Outside, the Times Square ball began to make its descent. Millions across the world were watching this moment in New York City, as the thousands on the streets below began cheering, celebrating for the new year. The countdown began - quietly, at first, but growing in fervor and intensity.

"_Twenty!_ _Nineteen! Eighteen! Seventeen! Sixteen!_"

Hawaii stood smiling, standing at the window, arm around California's waist, watching the ball drop towards Times Square-

"_Fifteen! Fourteen! Thirteen! Twelve! Eleven!_"

New Mexico danced, almost in slow motion, with Arizona, to the beat of the second as fireworks all over the East Coast exploded in a frenzy of color and light-

"_Ten!_"

Indiana cheered, lifting North Carolina into the air, who shrieked in excitement-

"_Nine!_"

New York watched the lights below the penthouse, hands pressed against the glass, breath fogging up the pane as he stood beside Pennsylvania-

"_Eight!_"

Florida sat at a table with Arkansas, drinking from punch, maintaining her stoic expression, though secretly harboring excitement for the new year-

"_Seven!_"

Ohio and Michigan stood, staring out the window, no longer in opposition, but quiet companionship; friends, for the first time ever-

"_Six!_"

West Virginia jumped up in excitement, his bright red hair matching the hues of color erupting all at once-

"_FIVE!_"

Texas, Alabama, and Mississippi all cheered in one great conglomerated area, three friends absolutely inseparable since the beginning of the show-

"_FOUR!_"

New Jersey whooped, pumping his fist into the air, wearing a lampshade, as Delaware temporarily abandoned her attempts to calm him down just for the countdown-

"_THREE!_"

Oregon and Washington stood close together, finally free from the show to do what they liked with their lives, open about who they are-

"_TWO!_"

South Dakota and Massachusetts kissed for the first time, wrapped in a tight embrace, as fireworks everywhere exploded at once in a _pulchritudinous_ array of brilliance-

"_ONE!_"

Almost fifty teenagers, once separated so many times, though reunited as one, cried one last time for 2014. These contestants had all gone through so much in their journey, which finally came to a close with the cry of a number. One show had done it all - bringing fifty completely random contestants, each from a different state, but slowly bringing them together - though not always. However, as the numbers had dwindled down, the season came to a close, most certainly with the bang of thousands of fireworks detonating at once all across the East Coast. Some got it all - others lost everything. Some found love where others found friendship. However, all took part in the great experiment of The Fifty State Roadtrip.

And that was that, apparently.


	53. The Fifty State Roadtrip

**EPISODE 52: THE FIFTY STATE ROADTRIP**

**aspiringAnimator** - Happy New Years, you guys! Man, so that was the final chapter, huh? Yep. It was. The Fifty State Roadtrip was the longest project I've ever undertaken. I can assure you guys that I didn't plan to finish it from the start. It was just supposed to be a fun project to work on. Hell, if I didn't implement the schedule and deadline system, the thing would never have gotten finished. But I suppose I should make this last chapter an author's note on what I think about my own story.

Originally, I was going to make it one update per week. The fic was going to take place over an entire year: fifty contestants, fifty weeks. When I first began writing in July, however, I was getting finished with chapters very quickly. Probably because of the fact that I was only writing 3,000 words a chapter for some reason. And the fact that it was summer. So, I said to myself, "I'm bored! I don't want to wait a whole week between updates!" And I upped the count to twice a week. So, if I'd kept it at once a week, we'd only be halfway into the fic. Washington and Oregon wouldn't even be a pairing yet, Team America would still exist, and Maine would still be in the game!

Let's talk about statistics first, just because I was curious myself, and I think you guys would be interested. I went back into the fic and found the following information.

**NUMBER OF PEOPLE NORTH DAKOTA DIRECTLY CAUSED THE ELIMINATION OF: 14**

Wyoming, Iowa, Minnesota, Idaho, Utah, North Carolina, Kansas, Louisiana, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, California, Washington, New York, and Texas.

**CONFESSIONAL COUNT**

North Dakota - 30  
>Virginia - 21<br>New York - 19  
>Massachusetts - 17<br>South Dakota - 14  
>Oregon - 13<br>Hawaii - 11  
>Arizona - 8<br>Washington - 8  
>Connecticut - 7<br>Ohio - 7  
>Illinois - 6<br>Alabama - 5  
>Indiana - 5<br>Mississippi - 5  
>Nebraska - 5<br>New Jersey - 5  
>Texas - 5<br>California - 4  
>New Mexico - 4<br>Oklahoma - 3  
>Tennessee - 3<br>West Virginia - 3  
>Colorado - 2<br>Georgia - 2  
>Louisiana - 2<br>Michigan - 2  
>Minnesota - 2<br>North Carolina - 2  
>Pennsylvania - 2<br>Alaska - 1  
>Arkansas - 1<br>Delaware - 1  
>Florida - 1<br>Idaho - 1  
>Kansas - 1<br>Montana - 1  
>Utah - 1<p>

**CHARACTERS WITH NO CONFESSIONALS/ESSENTIALLY EMPTY CHARACTERS**

Wyoming, Missouri, Rhode Island, Iowa, Vermont, Nevada, Wisconsin, South Carolina, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Maryland, and Maine.

**OH MAN. WHAT DO ALL OF THESE NUMBERS MEAN. I NEED HELP.**

Use the lists above with the numbers as a sort of "what could have happened" elimination guide. If the whole Oregon and Washington thing hadn't happened, North Dakota very likely would have won, without interference from Chris. New York wouldn't have been eliminated early into the finals, and probably would have gotten in third. Ohio and Illinois would have gotten much farther, and so would Connecticut for some reason. Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, and California wouldn't have gotten as far. This list is also pretty useful to see which characters I paid the most attention to. Also useful is the list of characters with no confessionals; known as the list of characters I gave virtually no story line. I'm shocked that Maine's on that list, though. I can't believe I didn't give her a single confessional! And she almost got past the merge!

Oh, yeah. North Dakota directly caused fourteen contestants to be kicked off. I find all this fascinating, I get to find out things that I didn't even know about my writing.

I do wish I gave Alaska a bigger role. Originally, she was going to be a very witty, cold, and calculating girl, to act as a similar yet opposing contestant to North Dakota. She probably would've gotten as far as Arizona did, though. Oh, and Florida, too. If I made Florida live past the first merge, she could've done a ton. I guess the tragedy is that she was kind of stuck on her team. Anyways. I suppose I should get on with the big questions.

**SO WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG WITH THIS FIC?**

THE CHARACTERS. Oh, my god, I missed out on so much potential! Some of them had literally NOTHING to them! Like Wisconsin! And Missouri! And especially Wyoming (though I specifically picked Wyoming to be first because that state has the lowest population, and I figured people wouldn't care). But seriously, I could have done a LOT with the characters. Stick in a radical feminist somewhere. Add in a tech geek. Have a very articulate-sounding contestant be added. I know I would've loved writing for that person. Have contestants with physical disabilities. Have contestants who have a race OTHER than white, black, or pacific islander. Jeez, I could have done a lot. I guess working with 50 contestants kind of worked against me, but still! Texas and Alabama are basically the same contestant! Think about it! The only difference is that Alabama has a girlfriend!

There are only a few characters from this fic that I can really call good. North Dakota, obviously. She has a decent back story, and her thought process is very clear in my mind. Oregon's an okay character, but in retrospect he got farther than he should have. Washington was a Gary Stu. California was a stereotype. Most southerners were stereotypes, with the exceptions of Arkansas, Florida, and Tennessee to an extent. Some of the midwesterners' only jobs were to be cowardly and subordinate to North Dakota - all fine for the purpose of getting our main antagonist some ground, but... I could have done SOMETHING. Like how I made Nebraska the guy who COULD have become big when they opposed North Dakota, but he chickened out after the shit hit the fan. And then he did nothing.

God, I could go on for ages. New Mexico was a sort of solid character. And South Dakota, and New York, Hawaii, and Massachusetts. And Indiana. Virginia, too, she was really good. But, guys, there are just sooo many characters that could have become more. The plot would have been much more interesting! Like, the fight between Michigan and Ohio? _They're basically the same person_, as I sarcastically noted in the New Year's Eve chapter! Though I do know a lot of cases of people who bicker and argue, even though they've very similar people.

Hmm. Some of the romance felt forced, too. Early on, I thought I was doing very well with Oregon and Washington, especially up until they actually got together. But after that, I just felt lost. The same goes for Mississippi and Alabama, sort of. The attraction just sort of goes away once the two get together. Maybe that's why so many romance movies end when the characters bone. After that, it's just domestic boredom between the two. Not between New Mexico and Arizona, however. New Mexico's personality kind of counters this.

Apart from characters, I think I screwed myself over on the length of this fic. It's as long as the Lord of the Rings. Nobody's going to want to read this. The only reason people kept up with updates is because it was bi-weekly, and that's much easier to digest than staring down a fifty chapter fan fiction. And also I guess because my updates were very regular. Which brings us to the next big question.

**SO WHAT DID YOU DO RIGHT WITH THIS FIC?**

The update schedule. It taught me to have a deadline. I didn't miss a deadline ONCE. Except for that time that I deleted half of a chapter on accident, back in September, and had to rewrite it. But I don't count that incident, because it would just make me kind of sad.

I did good with the concept for this fic! I think it's a very strong one. The main appeal to people who want to read it is to find out how far their state got. Like, had I come across this fic, and wasn't the person to write it, I would've totally been all over Alabama, cheering him on and whatnot and drawing fan art of him and Texas together or some shit and angrily declaring Alabama and Mississippi to not be canon. So, yes, the concept for this fic was good. The fact that there were fifty total contestants? Not so good, though that fact is necessary for the concept to be executed well.

Thinking back on the characters, I do think I picked the right direction with them. As one reviewer noticed, I haven't chosen a cartoonish theme for this season, and that was very deliberate - early on, I wanted the characters to feel real, and not just stereotypes. Sure, there are some oddballs, like West Virginia and Kentucky, but I wanted _everyone_ to feel relatable. That's a double-edged sword, though - this theme led to me just not adding many traits to characters, in fear of them becoming too weird or Flanderized. But, for the sake of having a very realistic season, I did go for the realistic character approach. These are American teenagers just like you and me. That's the message I wanted to send.

I also organized this fic incredibly well. Mid-way into the thing, I included a table of contents, to show people exactly what they were stepping into. Maybe it persuaded some to take a look! And maybe seeing a giant, thick table of contents was kind of off-putting for some people. I don't blame them.

**SPECIAL THANKS**

I should take this time to thank specific people who have helped me along the way. First off, ANY REVIEWER. Feedback always helps! Always. While I'm pleased I got relatively little criticism, I also got valuable, legitimate reviews from StayOuttaMyShed, probably the first person to give a bigger-than-average shit about what I write. His reviews (on every chapter, might I add) forced me to actually look at what I was writing objectively. I pulled focus away from my favorite characters and did my best to provide a wider view. It also seriously motivated me to improve upon my writing, and to actually write something to make a difference! Best reviewer, hands down.

I'd also like to thank Knifez, though I'm not sure if he actually read the entire thing, since he asked for a quick and easy list including the most recent eliminated contestant to be put at the bottom. He's easily my favorite mod on the forums, however.

Also! I wanna thank all the Guests that reviewed. There were a TON that regularly left reviews (like Ali6132, Anna Blake and Guest, to name a few). Despite not having an account, they contributed, and it wouldn't be fair at all to leave them out.

Some other regular reviewers include Spiderwick11, ElizabethLifeStone, manateebacon, weeaboopunk, GrassBlade-Chan (who ended up in the story as Shelby, just because of her consistent reviewing in a time when I got almost zero reviews), Winkie4, Curcle, BlueIce RedFire, Riilustra, BabyIt'sBrynlee (who ended up being mentioned as the Torpidity Science receptionist's daughter Brynlee, just because she was one of my first regular reviewers). There are PLENTY more who helped, and if your name isn't on this list, but you reviewed, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you or anything.

**NO SEQUELS? NO MORE OVERTLY-LONG OC FICS? THIS IS REALLY IT FOR (x) CONTESTANT?**

Pretty much. I don't want them to show up in my later works. Maybe characters who are LIKE Indiana, or Oregon, or North Dakota, but this is the end for all of them. I tried to wrap up all loose ends in the story. Really, I did. Oh! I should clarify on what happened to North Dakota after the finale.

North Dakota immediately went back home, where she was accepted by her parents, as she always had been. South Dakota bought a nice apartment in New York City, and moved there, though won't be able to stay permanently until a relative comes to take care of her - I always pictured her aunt, at least until she's 18. North Dakota is condemned to live her life in Bismarck, a place she's striven to leave her entire life. She also had to live with the knowledge that her own _sister_ won the prize. Because of her actions on the show, she is widely viewed by most of her classmates and neighbors as a mean girl - an antagonist. Therefore, after The Fifty State Roadtrip, she has few friends. I think this is sufficient karma for her actions on the show. Plus, like I said, this is realistic - it's not like I'm going to drop an anvil on her head, or force her to do billions of dares like on TDI. Bad people don't always get what's coming to them. Though North Dakota does, in this case.

So... that's really it. I'm not sure if I want to write any more fan fiction after this. I'm kind of burnt out, and I REALLY need to pay attention to my grades. Last semester of AP 11th grade and all that. I think writing this fic pulled me down last semester. In the future, however, I really would like to pursue a writing career, in my free time, probably. This whole project has been instrumental in developing my skills, I think. There's a huge difference between the first and final chapter, when you look back at it.

If you DO want to keep up with me, however, take a look at my Youtube. I'm going to finally live up to my username and upload a rather large animation for NASA sometime in January. And I think it's actually going to get media attention - as in, I'm going to be on the local news. Other than that, I'm also on Steam, I'd be totally alright with adding you on my friends list, probably. I might also upload a few more fan fics in my spare time. Probably this summer.

That's it! It's over. Say hello to 2015, and say goodbye to The Fifty State Roadtrip. I'm free from the chains that bound me to the quill, forcing me to write yet another chapter! I'm free from the mundane schedules, from the anxious fretting, from the hours of work! I'm _free!_

(Just kidding. I actually really liked writing The Fifty State Roadtrip.)


End file.
